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Disclaimer: “The Pretender” and its characters do not belong to me they belong to TNT and NBC and are being used without permission. Please don’t sue because I have no money.
Author’s Note: This is what I would like to think Jarod would have written if he had a diary. What he might have felt like in different situations.
The Red Notebooks
By: 24
First Day of Escape.
My first time outside and it felt so good to have the sun in my face. The breeze in ruffling in my hair. Well, actually I did go outside once when I was younger inside the Centre when it was cold and it was snowing. It was amazing the snow falling from the night sky, but then the sweepers came and got me. Sydney was a little mad at me for escaping the Centre. I told him that I didn’t escape I just wanted to see what the outside was like. That time stayed with me a long time and it was only when I found out that the simulations I thought were helping people were actually hurting and killing people. That was when I knew I had to escape. I couldn’t be a part of the death of innocent people because they were someone’s daughter, son, mother, father, brother, or sister. What would their families think about me if they knew I was responsible for their loved ones death. When I looked at the paper the first time I escaped, I saw a lot of misery and I knew I had to make up for what the Centre put me through. I had to make it up to people for the pain I caused them because maybe with that I could forgive what I had done. I’m so sorry for the misery that I caused.
June 4, 1994
What a beautiful array of fireworks in the sky. It was just beautiful and magical. I was in one of my pretends when someone asked If I was going to the fireworks display at the lake. I told them why do they have fireworks and what were they? They told me what they were and why we had them and I knew that I had to go find out what it was all about. The first firework went up and exploded I flinched at first, but then I saw the lights. I have never seen such a sight before and I am thankful that I escaped. The little kids were oohing and ahhing and I was doing the same thing.
Thanksgiving Day
I was in another pretend when I found out about Thanksgiving. I wondered what it was about. People would gather together. Sometimes with relatives and sometimes with co workers and they would have dinner and eat turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and many more things. After stuffing themselves then they would eat dessert. Why would they stuff themselves? One of the people that I was working with invited me over for Thanksgiving and I got to experience it for the first time. I now know why they stuff themselves. It’s because it’s so good. Everything was wonderful to the turkey to the dessert.
Christmas
I remember Sydney taking time off about this time. When it would get cold and I never knew why. Once I saw a couple of colorful wrapped things on his desk when he thought I was in my “room”. He gave me a present, but I didn’t know why he would do that. Now I know why he left me in the darkness of the Centre. He went to go visit his brother on Christmas. I gave the present away to Jacob when I went to see him. I hope that he liked it. I wonder if Sydney now has it? I was walking down the street and looking at all the decorations and lights around me. I never saw such sights. I was working at the local orphanage and the local morgue because I wanted to find out why someone killed Christmas George. Why would someone kill someone who helped orphaned children? He could never give happiness to these poor children again. They lost a great man when that happened. I was glad that I got the person who killed Christmas George.
Patrick
I now remember what my kidnapping felt like. I must have blocked it all in my mind. What made it all come out was when a little boy was stolen. I was in a pretend as a Doctor and was ready to leave when a man was wheeled in and I found out that his son Patrick was taken. I knew I had to help him and bring him back where he belonged. Back to his family who loved him. No child should be taken from the people who love them. I knew the little boy must be scared just like I was when a man grabbed me and someone put a hood on my head and brought to the Centre. When I found the person who had kidnapped the boy I nearly killed him because I saw myself as I was taken. The only thing that stopped me was my mother saying how proud of me she was. As soon as I found the boy I took him to his father and reunited them. I was happy, but I was also very sad. Happy that Patrick was back with his dad, but sad because I still haven’t found my family yet. I wonder if my parents would be happy if we were reunited? Would they still love me? What would they think of me if they knew what I did inside the Centre? If they knew that I killed and hurt thousands of people because of what I thought of? Would they still love me if they knew? Would they turn me away?
Violet
I remember seeing a young girl being taken away in a police car. She was wild and couldn’t talk. I knew that I had to help her and to see what had happened to her. When I found out that when her parents were killed that someone had used her as an experiment. They had been watching her in the wild and they did nothing. They wrote about her and recorded her since she was no more than four years old. She had to learn to survive and she did. A woman that I was working with me didn’t want her to be treated as a lab rat and so we helped her. After everything she went to go live with the woman who worked with me. I was reminded of what happened to me when I was young. How I was treated as a lab rat and not as a human being with feelings. I was afraid and lonely and sometimes felt if I had noone. Yes, there was Sydney, but even he would treat me as a science experiment. Do you know what it’s like to be treated like you don’t matter, like you are a possession? I know what it feels like first hand. I’m glad that Violet has someone that loves her and will take good care of her. I’m happy for her that she finally found a home. I wonder if I will find someone who loves me and find my home?
The Chase
It’s been years since I escaped and Miss Parker, Sydney, Broots and Sweepers have been on my trail. They’re tracking me like I’m an animal. I am not an animal I’m a human being. I want to be left alone and have a chance to put down roots. I heard that once from one of my pretends. I wondered why someone would want to put down roots like a tree, but then it was explained to me. It isn’t my fault that through my years of isolation made me that way. I run and she chases that is what she said when I called her.
Miss Parker
I remember when we were young and innocent. How she would come down to the bowels of the Centre to seek me out and we would go on adventures. I loved those times when I got to see Miss Parker. She was my first love and my last. Yes, I love her, but I am afraid to tell her because I’m afraid she doesn’t love me. I hear what she calls me lab rat, science experiment, wonder boy, boy wonder and a monster. Why would she love a monster? She was the only light in my dismal world, but then she left and I never got to see her again. I miss my friend and I wish that she would come back to me. My friend didn’t care if she was playing with a lab rat. She might think that I leave her clues to her past to hurt her, but I would never hurt her. I only give her clues to open her eyes to the evil that the Centre does and what her father does, but she just doesn’t want to open her eyes. I hope that one day that my friend comes back to me soon.
Sydney
I remember the first day that Sydney introduced himself to me. I was no more that four years old. At least that’s how old I was, but I’m not sure. I don’t know my last name, or my birthday. I also remember the simulations that we did together and everyday I wanted for a hug, or some comfort from him. I wanted so much for him to be happy with what I did, and me but he never displayed any emotion with me. He doesn’t love me like a father loves his son even if I think that he’s my father. He loves his real son Nicholas. Why can’t he love me? Am I that so unlovable? Am I that hideous?
Broots
When I found out that there was an additional person on my pursuit I had to know as much as I could. I found out that he’s a divorced father of a young girl named Debbie. It was later that I found out that he was in a custody battle with his ex-wife and I knew I had to help them. I knew about Debbie’s mother and knew that she would not be a good mother, so I made sure that Broots got custody of young Debbie. I also helped Broots when he was on the run from the Centre and in trouble with Damon. I wonder if Miss Parker and Sydney knew that I helped Broots?
Wrong or Right
Am I right to do these things to the bad guys? Or is it wrong? I know that these people deserve it because of whatever they had done. The punishment fit the crime. I’m glad that I got justice for the victims, but it right? I try to make up for things I’ve done and I know what I did inside the Centre was wrong.
Kyle
I met my brother when we were children. Do you know the funny thing was? I didn’t know that he was my brother. They must have been laughing because I didn’t know that part of my family was inside the Centre. I watched as the life drained from his body and was saddened that our parents would never see their son again. Our sister would never meet her brother and get to know him. I’m glad that he made a difference in a young boys life. He would get the chance to live because of my brother. There isn’t a day that passes that I think of my brother and my family.
Mom and Dad
I hope one day that we get the chance to be a family. I got to see my Dad, but we really didn’t have the chance to talk much because we were too busy. I’ve seen my mom twice, but only from far away. The first time in Boston then the second time was on Carthis. I hope someday I’ll get the chance to hug and meet her. There’s a hole in my heart that will hopefully be filled once we are a family.
Emily
I have met Emily once, but again we never got the chance to talk because she was fighting for her life. That and we were too busy trying to stop Ethan. I hope that one day I’ll get the chance to know her.
Ethan
I barely know Ethan. I know that he’s a pretender and has the Inner Sense. Mrs. Parker has the Inner Sense and she passed it onto him. They made him to start off where I stopped, but I got to him first. They took Zoe to make sure that I wouldn’t stop Ethan, but my father got Zoe out and I stopped Ethan.
The Isle Of Carthis.
I wonder what was on those scrolls that were so important? What did they say about me? Did they say something about Miss Parker too?
The Centre
The Centre is plain evil. They steal children and create them. They make children do their dirty work for them.
Gemini
Human life born only because they are greedy. They created a little me because I ran away and they didn’t want to let me go. I knew that I couldn’t let the boy suffer the same fate as I did. I know that he’ll have nightmares and I hope that my father will calm him when he needs it. I hope that my father will love him the way that he deserves to be loved. I am a little jealous of him because he’ll get the love of my father that I’ll never have. The father that I was stolen from only because the same people that created Gemini.
Well, Diary. I am going to close now. I’m tired and tomorrow is a new day of new discoveries and the chase begins tomorrow too.
Author’s Note: This is what I would like to think Jarod would have written if he had a diary. What he might have felt like in different situations.
The Red Notebooks
By: 24
First Day of Escape.
My first time outside and it felt so good to have the sun in my face. The breeze in ruffling in my hair. Well, actually I did go outside once when I was younger inside the Centre when it was cold and it was snowing. It was amazing the snow falling from the night sky, but then the sweepers came and got me. Sydney was a little mad at me for escaping the Centre. I told him that I didn’t escape I just wanted to see what the outside was like. That time stayed with me a long time and it was only when I found out that the simulations I thought were helping people were actually hurting and killing people. That was when I knew I had to escape. I couldn’t be a part of the death of innocent people because they were someone’s daughter, son, mother, father, brother, or sister. What would their families think about me if they knew I was responsible for their loved ones death. When I looked at the paper the first time I escaped, I saw a lot of misery and I knew I had to make up for what the Centre put me through. I had to make it up to people for the pain I caused them because maybe with that I could forgive what I had done. I’m so sorry for the misery that I caused.
June 4, 1994
What a beautiful array of fireworks in the sky. It was just beautiful and magical. I was in one of my pretends when someone asked If I was going to the fireworks display at the lake. I told them why do they have fireworks and what were they? They told me what they were and why we had them and I knew that I had to go find out what it was all about. The first firework went up and exploded I flinched at first, but then I saw the lights. I have never seen such a sight before and I am thankful that I escaped. The little kids were oohing and ahhing and I was doing the same thing.
Thanksgiving Day
I was in another pretend when I found out about Thanksgiving. I wondered what it was about. People would gather together. Sometimes with relatives and sometimes with co workers and they would have dinner and eat turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and many more things. After stuffing themselves then they would eat dessert. Why would they stuff themselves? One of the people that I was working with invited me over for Thanksgiving and I got to experience it for the first time. I now know why they stuff themselves. It’s because it’s so good. Everything was wonderful to the turkey to the dessert.
Christmas
I remember Sydney taking time off about this time. When it would get cold and I never knew why. Once I saw a couple of colorful wrapped things on his desk when he thought I was in my “room”. He gave me a present, but I didn’t know why he would do that. Now I know why he left me in the darkness of the Centre. He went to go visit his brother on Christmas. I gave the present away to Jacob when I went to see him. I hope that he liked it. I wonder if Sydney now has it? I was walking down the street and looking at all the decorations and lights around me. I never saw such sights. I was working at the local orphanage and the local morgue because I wanted to find out why someone killed Christmas George. Why would someone kill someone who helped orphaned children? He could never give happiness to these poor children again. They lost a great man when that happened. I was glad that I got the person who killed Christmas George.
Patrick
I now remember what my kidnapping felt like. I must have blocked it all in my mind. What made it all come out was when a little boy was stolen. I was in a pretend as a Doctor and was ready to leave when a man was wheeled in and I found out that his son Patrick was taken. I knew I had to help him and bring him back where he belonged. Back to his family who loved him. No child should be taken from the people who love them. I knew the little boy must be scared just like I was when a man grabbed me and someone put a hood on my head and brought to the Centre. When I found the person who had kidnapped the boy I nearly killed him because I saw myself as I was taken. The only thing that stopped me was my mother saying how proud of me she was. As soon as I found the boy I took him to his father and reunited them. I was happy, but I was also very sad. Happy that Patrick was back with his dad, but sad because I still haven’t found my family yet. I wonder if my parents would be happy if we were reunited? Would they still love me? What would they think of me if they knew what I did inside the Centre? If they knew that I killed and hurt thousands of people because of what I thought of? Would they still love me if they knew? Would they turn me away?
Violet
I remember seeing a young girl being taken away in a police car. She was wild and couldn’t talk. I knew that I had to help her and to see what had happened to her. When I found out that when her parents were killed that someone had used her as an experiment. They had been watching her in the wild and they did nothing. They wrote about her and recorded her since she was no more than four years old. She had to learn to survive and she did. A woman that I was working with me didn’t want her to be treated as a lab rat and so we helped her. After everything she went to go live with the woman who worked with me. I was reminded of what happened to me when I was young. How I was treated as a lab rat and not as a human being with feelings. I was afraid and lonely and sometimes felt if I had noone. Yes, there was Sydney, but even he would treat me as a science experiment. Do you know what it’s like to be treated like you don’t matter, like you are a possession? I know what it feels like first hand. I’m glad that Violet has someone that loves her and will take good care of her. I’m happy for her that she finally found a home. I wonder if I will find someone who loves me and find my home?
The Chase
It’s been years since I escaped and Miss Parker, Sydney, Broots and Sweepers have been on my trail. They’re tracking me like I’m an animal. I am not an animal I’m a human being. I want to be left alone and have a chance to put down roots. I heard that once from one of my pretends. I wondered why someone would want to put down roots like a tree, but then it was explained to me. It isn’t my fault that through my years of isolation made me that way. I run and she chases that is what she said when I called her.
Miss Parker
I remember when we were young and innocent. How she would come down to the bowels of the Centre to seek me out and we would go on adventures. I loved those times when I got to see Miss Parker. She was my first love and my last. Yes, I love her, but I am afraid to tell her because I’m afraid she doesn’t love me. I hear what she calls me lab rat, science experiment, wonder boy, boy wonder and a monster. Why would she love a monster? She was the only light in my dismal world, but then she left and I never got to see her again. I miss my friend and I wish that she would come back to me. My friend didn’t care if she was playing with a lab rat. She might think that I leave her clues to her past to hurt her, but I would never hurt her. I only give her clues to open her eyes to the evil that the Centre does and what her father does, but she just doesn’t want to open her eyes. I hope that one day that my friend comes back to me soon.
Sydney
I remember the first day that Sydney introduced himself to me. I was no more that four years old. At least that’s how old I was, but I’m not sure. I don’t know my last name, or my birthday. I also remember the simulations that we did together and everyday I wanted for a hug, or some comfort from him. I wanted so much for him to be happy with what I did, and me but he never displayed any emotion with me. He doesn’t love me like a father loves his son even if I think that he’s my father. He loves his real son Nicholas. Why can’t he love me? Am I that so unlovable? Am I that hideous?
Broots
When I found out that there was an additional person on my pursuit I had to know as much as I could. I found out that he’s a divorced father of a young girl named Debbie. It was later that I found out that he was in a custody battle with his ex-wife and I knew I had to help them. I knew about Debbie’s mother and knew that she would not be a good mother, so I made sure that Broots got custody of young Debbie. I also helped Broots when he was on the run from the Centre and in trouble with Damon. I wonder if Miss Parker and Sydney knew that I helped Broots?
Wrong or Right
Am I right to do these things to the bad guys? Or is it wrong? I know that these people deserve it because of whatever they had done. The punishment fit the crime. I’m glad that I got justice for the victims, but it right? I try to make up for things I’ve done and I know what I did inside the Centre was wrong.
Kyle
I met my brother when we were children. Do you know the funny thing was? I didn’t know that he was my brother. They must have been laughing because I didn’t know that part of my family was inside the Centre. I watched as the life drained from his body and was saddened that our parents would never see their son again. Our sister would never meet her brother and get to know him. I’m glad that he made a difference in a young boys life. He would get the chance to live because of my brother. There isn’t a day that passes that I think of my brother and my family.
Mom and Dad
I hope one day that we get the chance to be a family. I got to see my Dad, but we really didn’t have the chance to talk much because we were too busy. I’ve seen my mom twice, but only from far away. The first time in Boston then the second time was on Carthis. I hope someday I’ll get the chance to hug and meet her. There’s a hole in my heart that will hopefully be filled once we are a family.
Emily
I have met Emily once, but again we never got the chance to talk because she was fighting for her life. That and we were too busy trying to stop Ethan. I hope that one day I’ll get the chance to know her.
Ethan
I barely know Ethan. I know that he’s a pretender and has the Inner Sense. Mrs. Parker has the Inner Sense and she passed it onto him. They made him to start off where I stopped, but I got to him first. They took Zoe to make sure that I wouldn’t stop Ethan, but my father got Zoe out and I stopped Ethan.
The Isle Of Carthis.
I wonder what was on those scrolls that were so important? What did they say about me? Did they say something about Miss Parker too?
The Centre
The Centre is plain evil. They steal children and create them. They make children do their dirty work for them.
Gemini
Human life born only because they are greedy. They created a little me because I ran away and they didn’t want to let me go. I knew that I couldn’t let the boy suffer the same fate as I did. I know that he’ll have nightmares and I hope that my father will calm him when he needs it. I hope that my father will love him the way that he deserves to be loved. I am a little jealous of him because he’ll get the love of my father that I’ll never have. The father that I was stolen from only because the same people that created Gemini.
Well, Diary. I am going to close now. I’m tired and tomorrow is a new day of new discoveries and the chase begins tomorrow too.
