Pretender
Ooh, no fair starting off so good and then only giving us a short chappie! Very well written chap. Raines is so . . . urg in the best possible way. Makes me want to take a shower just to get the evil off. I hope there's more in the works sometime soon!
Author's Response: This chapter was a formality... nothing more than Raines coming back into the spotlight with his evil plans. Paving the way for bigger chappies when the fun starts.
Raines will get what is coming to him, so you can forgo the shower to wash off the unpleasantness. He will get into a wee bit of trouble for messing around with Lyle like this. *grins*
Thanks for another review, MP!!
And the plot thickens . . .
Why do I have this nagging suspicion things aren't going to turn out well for Jarod?
Good chappie, hope there's more soon. I'd especially like to see Wonder Boy's reaction if he finds out what Lyle and Parker are up to;)
In-teresting . . . just curious, what's the time frame on this? Pre-Donoterase?
Verrry good chapter! I aspire to one day, somehow being able to figure Cox out. Is he going to take Kamau's place, or is Sydney? I like the Cox/Mutumbo dynamics. Very believable. Can't wait for the next chap!
The timeframe is Post-Donoterase, early Season 4 basically for Cox to be there but I doubt very much of 'what's the timeframe' will be much of a problem. No one can figure Cox out, we don't know enough about him *winks*
As for what he's up to, Cox hasn't cued me in so I'm as much in the dark as you are right now (which probably isn’t a good thing since I’m writing this thing *winks*)
All will become clear in time! (I hope)
Thanks for another review, MP!
Reviewer: MP SignedYay for the new chappie!
You're setting the stage very well. I have a feeling a showdown is coming in a couple of chapters. Tension's building . . .
You have quite a way with Syd. I also think it's a testament to your skill as a writer that, even though Jarod obviously annoys you, when you write for him he doesn't come across as annoying.
Anyway, thanx for the chap! Hope there's more soon!
Someone's been having some twincestuous fun:)
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with Cox; the dynamic you've set up between the Parker twins is verrry interesting. If you'd told me three months ago that I'd be reading a twincest story and rooting for Lyle . . .
Anyway, great writing, and I'm eager for more (though probably not as "eager" as Lyle, he he)
I've been enjoying this story for weeks, but just recently as I was looking over the reviews, I realized I forgot to write you one! Shows you what my brain's been like lately:)
Anyway, I looove this story. I'm a big time Sydney fan, so I love stories that put him in close contact with Jarod for extended periods of time. Jarod is so complex in this story--he's like a little kid, but at the same time has a lot of emotional demons and hidden depth. To tell you the truth, this was one of my influences when I started plotting my developing (slowly developing) fanfic, "Flight of Memory."
Anyway, just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate the piece, and how much I really, REALLY hope you post more.
Reviewer: MP SignedGreat chappie! I especially loved the Pinocchio line and the part about the PSP. Parker was spot on for her little bit. I'm anxious to see how long it takes Broots to put it together. It was nice to actually see one of his furry little friends:)
Anyway, hope you keep writing! I promise not to pester anymore. (for now;)
Reviewer: MP SignedNEW CHAP!!!! (happy dance, happy dance, happy dance)
Glad you finally found a muse that cooperates with you. Syd's reaction to the thought of the beach was classic. He's just like any parent of an eight-year old.
Anyway, great writing, and hope there's more soon. Otherwise, I may be checking out the holiday sales on cattle prods and foam pokers;)
Oh, dear, things are looking quite grim . . . I know I should be more concerned, but I'm too busy jumping for joy at a new chap! I loved the bit about the Jello--he finally found green food he likes! The part where Syd explains "foster father" was great too. I liked how Parker pretends not to have a heart, but she's still not going to risk Jarod getting hurt. Kudos and Pez!
Author's Response: Does green jello count as food? Hmm, will have to keep that in mind when I am debating the merits of green food with my senior citizens. Am wondering how you figured Parker has a heart, tho. To me, it just seemed a bit of CYA in her ordering the nurse, but maybe you're right. Time will tell because I can't.
I laughed so hard, I made the other people in the room uncomfortable!
Author's Response:
Thank You! That's quite a compliment and it makes my day. So glad you enjoyed it, thanks again for your review!
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We all just want some ANSWERS.
"I run. You chase. What if... we didn't?"
Bravo! Fascinating beginning. The whole double-timeline thing will certainly keep this one interesting. Keep it up!
Author's Response: Thanks, I hope so! It's like two stories in one that come together (cohesively I hope).
Great chapter! I'm really loving the double time-lines. It's so cool to be able to juxtapose the grim story at the Centre with the more hopeful story from 27 days earlier. It really keeps the audience wondering (and reading).
Author's Response: That was my thinking too! It's a weird mix, but it makes it interesting to write/read... getting them from the optimistic point they're in in the earlier days to the inevitable fate of the later ones. Thanks for reviewing, I love it.
Love the new chappie. Please keep writing!
Author's Response: Thanks I'll try and squeeze it in as much as I can!
Yay! New chappie! Great job as usual. I'm *highly* intrigued.
Author's Response: Thanks! Very glad to have you *so* intrigued.
New chap! yay!
Hm, snowed in out in the middle of nowhere . . . methinks I know where this is going:)
The caught-by-the-Centre plot is certainly getting interesting. I loved the little interplay between Jarod and Syd at the end. Hope he's got something good up his sleeve.
Need more soon!
Yeah gee where could it be going!? Only somewhere good. ;)
The Centre is always where things get extra intriguing...
Reviewer: MP SignedYay for a new chap!
What a difference a week makes . . . anyway, great writing (as usual). You characterize Parker verrry well, and the interplay between her and Jarod was priceless!
Congratulations on your epiphany! The best part about fanfic writing (for me at least) is when your own stories manage to surprise you. The scrolls are tough material to work with, but I'm sure you can rise to the challenge. It's remarkably unannoying (I made up a word!) so far.
Again, thanx for some great reading and good luck with future chaps!
What a neat little piece! I'd never thought of that as a reason for all those calls. Way to know the character! Actually it was just an idea I got after a bad night's sleep, figured it fitted well with Jarod's personallity. But thanks for the compliment :)
Author's Response:
Very emotionally intense and yet nostalgic (if that made sense:)) I'm anxious to read more; there are so many ways this could play out!
Reviewer: MP SignedYay! Great chap, Tina! And almost in a reasonable amount of time too . . . almost . . . :)
I love how realistic Margaret is--when she talked, I could almost hear *my* mom. You really showed that even though she's lost her family and been on the run, she's still just a normal woman who can't quite understand. She also kinda ticked me off . . . poor Jarod . . . He needs a hug . . . can you arrange for me to give him one? :)
Before I get off on an even longer tangent, I'll just say great chap. I hope there's more soon for your sake.
Peace!
What can I say, MP, great writing takes time. :) And this was a tough chapter to write. Margaret just did not want to cooperate. And, about that hug, sorry, not gonna happen for quite a while.
Reviewer: MP SignedWow, suspense is building . . .
To be honest, I had a little trouble with the Jarod/Margaret reunion earlier in the story, but I definitely love where this is going now. I have a hunch this will bring out the darker side of Jarod that fanfic writers so often ignore. I can't wait to see how far he's going to take his quest for revenge. (Wow, and *that* didn't make me sound like a psychopath . . .)
Great work, Tina!
Reviewer: MP SignedRaines and Willie capture Jarod. Horrible things follow. You'll have to read it to find out more.
Well, I see why you had to be double-dog-dared to write it! :) :) :)
I laughed very hard. That image (much like our good friend Mr. Wiggles) is gonna be engrained in my head for a while. The ending was brilliant! Kudos to you and any other twisted minds that contributed!
Great writing! Lonely people do tend to get very depressed around the holidays, and you captured that very well. The insight into Jarod's mind was very astute. The last line was quintessential Parker. Kudos!
Author's Response: Thanks MP!!! I am glad you like and think I got it so right lol yay!
Quite a tearjerker (sniffle, sniffle). Very emotional. I loved the imagery and symbolism with the snowflakes, and it all tied in very well with the poem. Where'd you get the poem, btw? Is it original?
Great writing. No happy ending, but that's life. *I'll* send you chocolates;)
Wow, I haven't seen RaChell this riled . . . ever. At risk of angering the chocolate police . . . you did warn us from chapter 1 that somebody was going to die. Maybe this should be classified as tragedy?
As to the writing, I think the response would be less violent emphatic if there were one more scene building on this plot line (he's still dead), but offering some kind of hope, or peace, or something. Maybe a graveside scene showing that Parker will come back from this and Jarod is probably in a better place . . . or something.
Overall, though, I liked this story, and my muse will go Kung Fu on RaChell's muse if she tries to take the chocolate back.
Yes i did warn everyone at the very start there was a character death, and should i be pleased with myself i got RaChell so worked up? lol, is tihs a good thing for me or a bad, very bad, thing for me?
I know it prob is a bad way to end, with Jarod dead on the street and Miss Parker all upset, but as i did mention to RaChell, this story was
written for my poem, and it was how it was meant to end. So i am afraid there will be no more scenes to write, not even of PArker at the
site. I am glad you liked it MP and hoped others did as well. Merry chrissy
Reviewer: MP SignedHey,
Just caught up with this story, and WOW! I'd seen the whole AU-historical-fiction angle done by other fandoms, and it always ended up seeming contrived. Not so here. The characters are somehow completely in character and completely adapted for the time period. In some ways, they almost make more sense here than in the series. I'm glad you took the time to set the stage and I'm very excited to see where this goes.
Should have known Uncle Jarod would rise to the challenge. Kudos Jacci and Kye!
Reviewer: MP Signed
