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Research Subject - by MMB

Chapter 7: Neutral Territory



I should have been happy.

I was lying in bed, warm and safe and cradled within my husband's arms like I was almost every night now. But instead of sleeping, I was looking out into the darkness and wondering about our future and the future of our family. Life had dealt us all a few nasty twists and turns in the last twenty-four hours, and I wasn't so sure that it was finished toying with us even yet. Still, everyone I cared for was safe and sound at the moment - Sydney next to me, Rene in the office/guest room, Nicholas downstairs on the couch, Miss Parker and Joe in their homes and Jarod wherever it was that he was doing his good deeds at the moment. I should have been content.

I knew better. I knew I knew better. Stewing did nobody any good whatsoever. I couldn't help it, though - my mind wouldn't stay still, but rather was shifting randomly from memory to worry and back again.

I had spent the latter part of the afternoon in the police station, filing a complaint and having my statement taken regarding Lyle's attempted kidnapping, and then our evening meal just hours ago had been a very subdued affair. Nicholas had taken Sydney's car back into town to bring in Chinese food from a local restaurant so that nobody had to worry about cooking after such a full day. Rene had finally roused and come downstairs just long enough to take three bites of chow mein and nibble on an eggroll before shaking her head and announcing that she was going back to bed. Her independent streak had raised its head at last when she refused either Sydney's or Nicholas' offer to help her get back up the stairs. Nobody had been particularly energetic - I followed her up the stairs not too long afterwards, and I think even Nicholas and Sydney decided to call it a night after finishing cleanup duties after the meal.

I wasn't sure whether it was the pain medication she was on or what, but Rene's mood had slipped badly from its normal brightness. I would have to talk to her in the morning. I knew that the past twenty-four hours had been hard on her, both physically and emotionally. Her relationship with her real father had never been good, and since my marriage to Sydney it had only gotten worse. He had backhanded her and given her a black eye just a few weeks ago when she wouldn't tell him where I was, but Rene hadn't exercised her right to declare him in violation of the restraining order and have him arrested for battery then. She had defended her lack of action to Sydney and myself back then when we told her she should have turned him in, reminding us that he WAS her father.

This time, however, Sydney had been there and convinced her to file charges when Jake had battered her badly enough to land her in the hospital. She was probably questioning her continued loyalty to her father in view of his total disregard for her and her welfare and now open physical and emotional abuse. Conflicting with that, I imagined, were her burgeoning feelings toward Sydney. I knew he had become a father figure she respected and trusted since he consistently treated her as a father should treat a daughter: lovingly - and now, protectively. But to go from there to loving him as if he were her father...

There was yet another side to her distress that I could see would be bothering her: she had been forced to suspend her studies for that semester by her injuries. Two broken ribs, one eye swollen shut and a mild concussion weren't the kind of injuries that one could just shrug off and go back to school with. She had needed to come home where we could take care of her while she healed. But the time needed for that would mean that she'd be at least a term behind where she wanted to be on her path to becoming a pediatrician - and there was a scholarship at stake. I had been too tired myself to discuss this with Sydney before we all had fallen into bed earlier. I hoped that he would have some advice for me - or maybe even talk to her.

Then there was the fact that what should have been an enjoyable visit for Nicholas had turned into something very different. Once more he'd been put in a position of running up against the dark side of his father's work - although this time not as a victim. His concern for Rene since we'd received our late-night phone call for help had been palpable. After the excitement of Lyle's abortive visit and Sydney's return with Rene was over, and while both Rene and I were napping, I know that Sydney had spent some time late that afternoon talking things over with his son. I could see during dinner how he ached to be able to comfort and support Rene the way his father was comforting and supporting me, and I know Sydney saw it too. I'm sure Rene's understandable rejection of help from anybody had stung Nicholas more than she had intended. I regretted not having tried to talk to him myself right away, explaining a little bit of the situation from a woman's point of view so that he COULD help when the time came. I'd have to remedy that situation in the morning too, first thing - and maybe talk to Rene about it as well.

Then had come the call from the Centre just as we were preparing to retire - Mr. Raines was calling Sydney to raise Hell with him for my having dragged the local authorities in on Lyle's abortive attempt to snatch me. I could tell from the look in his eye that Sydney was furious almost immediately at the presumption of the man, but somehow he managed to keep his voice calm. He explained that Lyle's previous attempts to get me at had scared me badly enough that I'd felt the need to call the police - and that none of this would have happened if Lyle had just left me alone to begin with as requested.

He then reminded Mr. Raines pointedly that I had no connection to the Centre and never would - and then told him in no uncertain terms that our daughter and I were to remain unconnected and completely off-limits to Centre manipulation. I could tell from the way Sydney responded to further comments that Mr. Raines was most likely NOT happy about the situation or the ultimatum. His parting comment to the Chairman of the Centre was a suggestion that Lyle and Willy get themselves a good lawyer because stalking and attempted kidnapping were serious offenses, and that even close Centre affiliation wouldn't be able to protect them from the consequences of an unwise obsession this time. And no, I would NOT be withdrawing my formal complaint against either of them.

Finally, I was tired and very concerned about the condition of my pregnancy. The doctor had been right to warn me against allowing myself to become too stressed this late in my pregnancy. When the world had seemed as if ready to fall in on me, I had experienced two very strong cramps within minutes of each other - cramps that Sydney refused to be convinced were anything other than the first sign of early labor. He had barely allowed me to stir from my place on the couch for the rest of the day and then watched over my every movement otherwise like a protective bear. His embrace when we finally had settled into bed together to sleep had been tighter, his hand over his unborn daughter more determined to help keep her in place as long as necessary. Even now, in his sleep, he was holding me tighter than usual. He was worried. So was I. I still had six weeks to go, if all went well.

Our peanut had finally quieted down in the wee hours of the morning, but not until I felt as if I'd been bruised over every internal inch of my torso. She had barely even calmed down to commune with her father, something that had surprised a man who had grown used to being able to influence his unborn child with a simple touch. Later, while I had lain on my side with our peanut ricocheting around her tight and confining womb like a perpetual motion machine, Sydney had climbed in behind me and massaged my back gently. His huge hands were warm and gentle and his touch delightfully soothing at the end of such a topsy-turvy day. I didn't tell him, but with those two hard cramps, I felt as if something had given way inside. I couldn't describe the feeling, but I was nervous, apprehensive. As much as I didn't want to, I decided in those hours of darkness that I needed to call my doctor after all the next morning - just in case.

For the time being, however, I was restless; and my poor pummeled bladder could no longer handle much pressure. I slipped carefully from beneath Sydney's encircling arm and headed into the bathroom. When I was finished, however, lying back down was the last thing I wanted. I was awake - far too awake to try to sleep any longer and unwilling to allow my insomnia to deprive my husband of his needed rest. I walked around to Sydney's side of the bed and sank into the easy chair near the window, as I had the previous night, and stared out into the darkness of the early morning. I rested my hand on my stomach as peanut gave a single sleepy bump of complaint, after which I leaned back against the cushioned wing of the chair to let my mind do its relentless spinning with the rest of my body resting in comfort.

Several long minutes passed peacefully, and then I heard Sydney stir in bed, then stir again as he roused. "Cat?" he called sleepily. "Where are you? Are you all right?"

"I'm over here, my love," I answered his softly. "I'm fine."

He raised up on an elbow in the dim moonlight and followed the sound of my voice to the chair. "What's the matter?" he asked, sleepiness quickly dissolving into concern.

"Nothing. I just couldn't sleep and didn't want to disturb you with my fidgeting."

He sat up a bit straighter on an extended arm. "Is it the baby?"

"No, she's pretty quiet for a change." I sighed. "My mind is just going a million miles a second and I couldn't sleep. Honest. Lie down and go back to sleep."

The man could be just as stubborn as I was. Instead of rolling over and going back to sleep, he pushed his blankets aside and rolled his feet off the edge of the bed to sit up completely. "Do you want me to get you something - some tea, maybe?"

"Sydney, no," I told him with a shake of the head. "I'm fine. Just thinking too much."

He stretched out a bit and captured my right hand in his. "This isn't like you, Cat. Talk to me."

I shifted so that I could use my other hand to pat his. "It's probably just pre-natal jitters." I could see in the dim light that he didn't seem to understand or believe me. I sighed. "So much happened yesterday, my mind is going crazy." He was listening carefully, and his attitude invited me to speak my fears. "Rene is feeling torn because she turned in her father..."

"We talked about that a little bit on the plane, before the pain meds put her to sleep," Sydney told me gently. "She doesn't know how to feel about him anymore - she's deeply hurt that he would abuse her this way and afraid for you if he should ever figure out where you are and come for you. She knows he needs help and that both of you deserve to be protected from his temper, but she hated being the one to bring him up short."

"...and she's going to be putting herself a whole term behind in her pre-med. course work..."

"I've been meaning to talk to you about that anyway." He laced his fingers with mine on the arm of the chair. "I'd like to see her do her pre-med. work closer to home - especially now that we know that she isn't safe anywhere near her father. I can speak to a friend of mine who is on the faculty at Johns Hopkins, and see what it would take for her to transfer." He tightened his fingers around mine. "After all, what use is having strings if I can't pull them every once in a while to help my own family, eh?"

"You know how independent she is," I replied, tightening my fingers too. "She may not want to transfer."

"I don't know," Sydney answered slowly. "I think after this latest fracas, she might listen to reason. Besides, Johns Hopkins has a very good reputation and is not bad to put down on a résumé as where she trained. And heaven knows I'd prefer that she live closer to us anyway. She could come home more often... see us..."

I smiled at what I was hearing in his voice. "Why Sydney Green, you old softie..."

"Come here, you," he said in a low and vibrant voice, then pulled on my hand until I finally relented and rose from my chair and came to sit next to him on the bed. "Now tell me, how was I supposed to not become very attached to the daughter of the most beautiful woman in the world?" He wrapped one arm around my back and pulled me close. "I love you, Cat - and I love your daughter too as if she were my own. Maybe it's selfish of me, but I want my children a bit closer than halfway across the continent."

I leaned into him, wrapping my arm around his stomach as best I could with our peanut very much in the way. "I know you do, my love. And I love you too, more than you'll ever know. You can talk to her - see what she has to say. Maybe if you told her what you just told me... how you feel..."

He was quiet for a while, then: "So tell me, other than Rene, what else was your mind tripping over?"

"Nicholas," I answered.

I could tell that one surprised him. "How so?"

"He came here for a nice, quiet vacation - and look what he's walked into. It isn't fair."

Sydney bent close and kissed my cheek and began trailing kisses to my ear. "Nicholas is a big boy, Cat. He knows that life can get interesting sometimes. He'll be OK - especially now that Rene's here with us too. Or had you forgotten the red cheeks from in the car yesterday at the mere suggestion he come visit while she's here?"

I closed my eyes as his warm breath tickled my neck deliciously. "No, I hadn't forgotten. I was actually thinking that I needed to have a little talk with Rene about..."

"I wouldn't do that - I'd let them work it out between them," Sydney murmured against my neck, his kisses becoming very distracting. "If this is anything more than a passing fancy, and if Nicholas is anything like me, he won't be willing to just sit back and let Rene push him away for long. And if Rene is anything like her mother, she'll eventually discover that persistence can be very persuasive."

"Oh, you think so, do you?" I purred at him contentedly.

"I KNOW so," he countered, nuzzling my ear and beginning to kiss me down the line of my chin. "I've done extensive research into this area, you know..."

I didn't get the chance to counter that outrageous claim because that was when his lips covered mine and stole my ability to think clearly. After a passionate kiss that soon had my heart pounding in my ears for a new and completely acceptable reason as far as I was concerned, he sheltered me gently against him and murmured into my ear, "Come back to bed again, Cat. You need your rest, and I miss you when you're not beside me."

I had to admit that his method of dealing with my jangled nerves had relaxed me more than I thought it would, and just giving voice to some of my fears had stilled my careening thoughts. "OK," I agreed and rose to go around the end of the bed to my side and slip back between the sheets. He was already there to greet me and pulled me into his arms again so that my head was on his shoulder. I fell asleep to his gentle and soothing strokes down my back.

~~~~~~~~

I awoke later than usual the next morning to find myself alone in bed. Sydney had obviously taken great care not to rouse me as he rose, and had shut the bedroom door after himself so that the sound of voices downstairs wouldn't do the job either. He must have figured that I would be needing the extra rest after such a full day yesterday and my insomnia last night. I pulled on my bathrobe and slipped my feet into my slippers and, after a quick trip to the bathroom before our peanut could awaken and attack the bladder while full, waddled down the stairs and back towards the kitchen.

Rene lifted her face to me and smiled, and I felt my stomach twist as I saw once more the bruising and damage that Jake had wreaked on her face. I did my best not to let my dismay spread to my face, but smiled at her. "Good morning, Mom," she said as brightly as she could.

"There you are," Sydney beamed at me. He rose immediately to help me get settled into a chair. "I have your morning tea steeping - do you want some?"

"Thank you," I told him and then turned to Nicholas. "Was the couch comfortable enough for you last night?"

"Fine," he answered with a smile of his own and a quick glance in Rene's direction. "I'll be fine there."

"How are you feeling today, poppet?" I asked after I watched her nibble at the piece of toast that had been on her plate.

"Still a little groggy," she admitted. "I think the pain pills are really knocking me on my a..."

"That's what they're supposed to do, cheri," Sydney interrupted knowingly. "You'll need to stay fairly quiet and let those ribs heal for a while. The pills will make it so that lying down or sitting in an easy chair won't be quite so uncomfortable."

"I know," she said. "I just hate feeling like I'm walking through a fog all the time. I can't enjoy the company much that way."

"You won't be on such high doses forever," he reassured her. "The pain pills are just to keep you comfortable. Once you start to heal, you won't need them as often."

"Yeah, but by then, Nicholas will be gone." I think the words slipped out before she could snatch them back, because she suddenly blushed furiously beneath the bruising.

"But I don't live THAT far away," Nicholas told her with a quietly pleased smile. "I can come back, you know. I was already toying with the idea of coming back for another visit after the baby is born. You'll still be here..."

Ah-HAH! So that was what Sydney was meaning when he was talking about persistence being so persuasive! Rene blushed again and immediately quit complaining about the medication she was on. I felt Sydney tap my knee under the table - I'm sure he was making sure I made the connection. I let my gaze touch his and celebrate silently that our children were finding each other just fine without our help.

"Can I put some toast on for you, Cathy?" Nicholas began rustling the bread wrapper at me.

"Thanks, Nicholas, I'd like that." I patted his upper arm fondly and then looked over to see Rene gazing at him with a touch of warmth in the back of the one eye that was open. I hoped that she could see that this young man was very much his father's son - and that she couldn't do much better than that.

Breakfast conversation from there on tended to lighter subjects - it was a lazy Sunday morning after all, and Sydney didn't have to be at work at all. None of us had anything pressing on us to get done, except maybe for finding Rene some clothing to wear from my non-maternity wardrobe. Eight months ago, we had been approximately the same size - something that would work to our advantage right now.

I talked her into following me up the stairs and into my room once breakfast started to break up and Nicholas and Sydney began cleanup duties. I'm not exactly sure who helped whom up that long flight of stairs, and we both were pooped enough to feel like sitting - her in the easy chair, me on the edge of the bed - once we'd arrived.

"Mom?"

"What?"

Rene looked down and studied her hands for a moment. "Is it wrong of me to hate Da... my father?"

"You mean Jake?" She nodded. "I don't know that actually hating him will do either of you any good in the long run," I began, "but I can't exactly say that I blame you. I'm very angry at him too, you know..."

"I wish..." She paused and looked up at me, her one clear eye tragic. "I wish Dad were my real father."

"I think he does too," I told her. "He loves you very much, you know."

"I love him too, I think," she admitted shyly. "He's been so good to you, and now, with this..." She swallowed hard. "I think the only time I've ever wanted to argue with him was when he took me into the police station and had me file that complaint."

"I figured something like that would have happened. Considering how you feel about your father, though, why did doing that bother you then?"

Rene shrugged. "It just felt like I was betraying my own, you know?"

"Certainly you were doing no worse than he's already done to you, poppet," I told her firmly. "Rene, look at yourself in the mirror across the room. Does someone that is willing to do that to you really deserve any loyalty from you at all?"

"I know. But still..."

"Besides, have you noticed something? You've stopped calling him “Daddy” completely. You call Sydney “Dad” all the time now, and whenever you have to talk about Jake, you call him “your father”." I smiled at her. "Listen to yourself, Rene. You've already unconsciously started distancing yourself from him. To be honest, I can't say I disagree..."

"When I called home the other night," she leaned back into the cushioned wing of the chair, "I was so scared and hurt, I forgot completely and called Sydney “Daddy.” I was so glad just to hear his voice, and I just knew that he'd take care of me..."

So THAT was why Sydney sounded so confused at first when he answered the phone that night. He wasn't used to having someone call him “Daddy” yet. "So go with it, poppet. If you want Sydney to be Daddy to you, then let it be that way. He won't mind, I promise you."

She closed her one functioning eye and breathed deeply for a while, then: "All I know is that I don't ever want to see my real father, not ever again." A tear snuck out from beneath the swollen and sealed eyelid and landed on the bruised cheek beneath. "Why does that make me feel so bad inside?"

"Because, despite all the hard words between you all these years, you always wanted Jake to love you the way you loved him - and giving up on that dream isn't easy." I wished I could help her. I'd already gone through the pain and grief of having my love for that man die. "I think you need to talk to Sydney one of these days - and I mean REALLY talk to him - let him in on some of what you told me. I think the discussion might surprise you both."

I wasn't going to step in the way of the development of my daughter's relationship with my husband. It was their relationship, and absolutely none of my business. I knew better, and I knew I knew better - and I was going to stick with what I knew for once. The best I could or would do was to nudge them together until they finally had the conversation they needed to have. They could take things from there, I was sure.

After letting Rene soak up what I'd told her, I leaned forward and pushed myself to my feet again. "And now, what do you say we go fishing through my pre-peanut wardrobe for something for you to wear. The clothing you're in needs to be washed to get the blood out."

"Thanks, Mom," she said after taking a deep breath to get her emotions back under control. "For listening, and for everything else."

"You're welcome, poppet."

She thought for a minute. "I'll talk to Dad later."

"Good. The sooner the better."

~~~~~~~~

As was the practice lately, Sunday afternoons were family times when our house filled to capacity. About two o'clock, I heard Sydney let Miss Parker and little Jacob in for their now-regular Sunday visit. I called to him to leave the door open so that one of us could just yell when the Broots' got here and tell them they could let themselves in. Just to be contrary, I was wearing a different caftan - after all, I couldn't let Miss Parker pick on me EVERY weekend - and was perfectly contented to be spending most of my time with my feet up on the couch.

I watched my husband take little Jacob from Miss Parker and swing the boy up into his arms and then onto a shoulder for a piggyback ride with a wide smile. It wouldn't be all that long and he'd be doing that for our little girl. Miss Parker put down the basket of toys she never failed to bring with her to keep her little brother occupied and came to sit on the other end of the couch after I shifted my feet. "How are you doing?" she asked with a look of concern.

"I don't have a whole lot of zip today," I admitted to her, knowing that Sydney was listening carefully with one ear. "Yesterday was hard on me."

"Any more cramps?"

I shook my head. "Once things calmed down, they went away. Thank God!"

"How's Rene?"

Now I smiled. "She's taking it easy too - she and Nicholas found a spot in the shade in the back yard to move the lawn chairs and have been out there for a while."

The arched eyebrows rose in interest, and she twisted to shoot Sydney a questioning glance as well. "Do tell?" she commented with a growing grin. "Is there something going on here, Syd?"

"If there is, it isn't any of our business," my husband shot back, hoisting Jacob up so that he was clinging to the top of Sydney's head, his feet dangling down both sides of his neck.

"Unkoh Sydney!" Jacob screamed in pure pleasure as Sydney straightened completely and made Jacob's vista all that more dramatic for towering over everything and everyone.

I rubbed the hard bulge in my middle that was our peanut as she decided finally to rouse and begin her daily morning regimen of stretching and whirling. Miss Parker saw the movement. "How about her?" She put out a hand and hesitated - as if she'd needed permission to feel the baby move.

"Well, after a long morning's nap, I think she's ready to resume her normal level of activity," I told her, taking her hand and putting it over where the current target for precision kicking seemed to be located.

"Did you call the doctor about that cramping?" she asked, her concern still quite obvious and unresolved.

"I did a while ago. I'm waiting on a call-back, as a matter of fact." I was glad that he hadn't been immediately available - I'd like to think my doctor had some time to himself every once in a while." I giggled as I saw Sydney put his hands up and swoop Jacob down from his perch like an airplane. "I'm hoping to get an appointment with him tomorrow."

"Listen," she began with a very serious expression on her face. "I told Syd yesterday, and now I'm telling you: if you need to get to the hospital, I want you to call me. I don't care what time of day or night it is, you call, understand?" She looked back up at my husband. "If anything were to happen to you or to this baby, I think it would just about kill him. I've never seen him this happy - and I'm damned sure going to make sure he stays this way."

"I promise," I swore, and then: "But I think that half of what has him so contented is that he has you and Jacob and Nicholas in his life - and Jarod too, sometimes." I let my eyes rest on the face of my husband as he was still swooping Jacob about the room, the little boy's arms outstretched like an airplane and both of them making noises like an engine. "He needs this family."

The knock I'd been expecting came at that moment, and I called out to the Broots' to just come in and make themselves at home. "Unkoh Broots!" I heard Jacob cry happily.

"Hi, Jakie," the computer technician eyed Sydney's actions with an indulgent look. "I see your Uncle Sydney's giving you your ride today."

"Your turn," Sydney swooped Jacob right up and over to Broots, who laid claim to the little boy without a whimper of complaint and had him back up on a shoulder almost immediately. "I need to check on Cat."

"Yeah, I heard about the excitement here from Manny - you know, the guy in Receiving who only has three fingers?"

"Broots," Miss Parker raised an eyebrow in warning.

"Daddy," even Debbie complained. "No shop talk on Sundays at Sydney's, remember?"

"Wait a minute - I think we can make an exception for a little while today, can't we?" I asked, defending the poor man. "Yesterday WAS quite a bit out of the ordinary..."

"So what did you hear?" Sydney asked, coming over and sitting down on the coffee table next to me so he could take my hand and carry it with his to lie on the lump that was our peanut.

"Scuttlebutt has it that Mr. Raines is letting Lyle and Willy spend the weekend in jail for being stupid enough to get caught," Broots repeated with a glance about the room to make sure nobody was eavesdropping.

"Maybe that will convince somebody to leave me alone!" I exclaimed. "Damn it, I never HAVE understood what it was that they wanted with me!"

"Calm down, Cat," Sydney warned me and patted my tummy gently. "Don't get yourself all worked up again. I don't want you to go into early labor - and no more false alarms like yesterdays either."

"How ARE you doing, Cathy?" Debbie asked shyly. "Are you sick?"

"I'm OK," I grumbled, settling back into my pillow before Sydney could issue me another warning. He was right - I really didn't need to be making myself upset again. "I had a few cramps yesterday, but they've stopped," I told Miss Parker specifically again, "although Mr. Worry-wart here insists they were early labor pains."

Either way, you don't need to have either right now," she agreed with my husband, whereupon I saw his silvered head nod vigorously while he smiled triumphantly. I turned and held his hand back tightly, so he knew that my grousing wasn't personal.

"I thought Nicholas was here," Broots asked Sydney, obviously more than willing to change the subject. "I was hoping to be able to say hi."

"He is - he's out in the back with Rene."

Another set of eyebrows went straight up into the air. "Oh, really?"

"Broots..." I said warningly. "Rene's not in such great shape either - I think Nicholas is keeping her company to keep her quiet right now."

"What happened?" Debbie wanted to know. She and Rene had gotten along very well when Rene was here about a month ago.

"Her father hit her again - only worse this time. Sydney brought her home to get better."

"I think I'll go out and say hello," Broots said with a small frown. "Come on, Jakie - let's go find Nicholas and Rene, shall we?"

"Yeah!" the little boy cheered from his position of honor.

"Me too." Debbie trotted along after her father.

I patted Sydney's hand. "Quiet time's over - time for those two to join the rest of the mob, I guess," I told him, nodding in the direction of the kitchen and our grown children.

"They'll have plenty of quiet time tomorrow," Sydney laid his huge hands across the breadth of my stomach and shook his head as he felt his daughter doing her somersaults. "At least THEY'LL get some quiet time. Yesterday doesn't seem to have slowed her down at all."

"She's always like this when she just wakes up," I reminded him. "You're just not usually around for the morning show. You're here more for the evening performances."

Miss Parker snickered when Sydney pulled a wry face at me. "Yeah, Dad," she said teasingly. "That's what you get for slaving away all day and missing all the fun..."

The telephone chose that prized moment to start ringing. Sydney rose. "I know when I'm being picked on," he said archly, which caused both Miss Parker and me to start chortling madly, then moved off toward the handset near the stairs to answer the call. He was back almost immediately with the cordless handset and handed it to me. "It's your doctor."

"Hello there," the doctor boomed at me. "What's going on?"

I watched Sydney and Miss Parker pull together in concern as I described what I had gone through the previous day and my feeling that something had let go. "But I've been very quiet ever since, and I'm not having any cramps or anything now..."

"I'm going to want you in for an ultrasound tomorrow morning," he told me in no uncertain terms. "And we'll check that blood pressure of yours too, just to make sure you're not overstressing yourself without telling me. I want you in my office nine o'clock sharp - I'll make a note to myself to let my nurse know to let you through right away."

"OK," I said and smiled encouragement to the two who had been listening to my side of the conversation. "I'll see you tomorrow then." I pushed the button to disconnect the call and handed the handset back to Sydney. "I'm to be into the office at nine tomorrow morning for an ultrasound."

"I'll drive you in," Sydney announced firmly. He looked at Miss Parker. "I was just going to be doing paperwork anyway..."

She shook her head. "Don't worry about it, Syd. If anybody comes looking for you, I'll run interference for you."

"Uh, Sydney..." Broots' voice sounded strange as it broke in on our moment. Finally he appeared around the corner of the archway. "Could you come out back for a moment please?"

"Is something wrong with Jacob?" Miss Parker began to rise to her feet.

"No, no, he's fine - Rene and Debbie have him. It's just..." The hazel eyes sought out my husband again. "Please?"

Sydney looked at me and shrugged and rose to follow his friend through the kitchen. Both of us women watched him leave.

"I wonder what that's about?" Miss Parker mused aloud once he'd passed out of sight.

I shrugged. "Oh, you know them - maybe Nicholas posed a puzzle..."

I swear, I think that eyebrow of hers has a mind of its own. "I seriously doubt that there's a puzzle out there that our Broots couldn't noodle out by himself. He's never called for Sydney before..." She started to rise again.

"Leave them be," I told her, reaching out to her. "It's probably some guy “thing” that Nicholas wants to share..."

"With Rene out there?" She sounded thoroughly unconvinced. "Cathy..."

"You never know - maybe he just wanted Sydney to confirm something that Rene said. After all, Sydney was in Rochester with her not all that long ago..."

"I know," she informed me. "I was there, remember?"

At that moment, Sydney appeared in the archway between the livingroom and foyer with a slightly stunned look on his face that quickly faded to a quiet determination. He walked into the livingroom and took a seat on the coffee table again - only this time close to Miss Parker. "Sydney?" I asked, "What is it?"

"Parker," he began carefully, "I know that Cathy talked to you a while ago - and that she asked you a question." His face was serious, but had a hopeful expression to it. "I need to ask you that question again - and I need a definitive answer from you this time."

"Syd..." Miss Parker had slowly gone pale.

"What would you do if..."

"He's here?" The question was whispered, and then she moved past it realizing that the issue wouldn't have arisen again if that weren't the case. "Does he know I'm here too?"

"Yes on both accounts," Sydney answered gently, reaching for her hands. "He heard what happened here yesterday and came to make sure Cathy was OK. But he'll leave if you feel you can't..."

She looked over her shoulder at the archway and the hallway that led to the kitchen beyond and eventually to the backyard. The expression I saw hover briefly over those delicate features took my breath away. It was the most poignant mixture of hope, anguish and frustration. It reminded me painfully of an expression I used to wear during those long weeks after I had first met Sydney and before he came back for me, summoned by Rene's call - when I was missing him so badly that it hurt. It told me all I really needed to know about where her heart was. "Parker," I added my own voice to my husband's. "Please..."

Miss Parker brought her face around to look at both of us, and there was a hesitancy about her that was new. "You told me," she directed her words at me, "that you were hoping I could be convinced to consider this house neutral territory - a place where the Centre didn't intrude." I nodded, remembering our conversation in the kitchen. "I think I can live with that," she said finally, after a long and silent moment when I knew she was looking at all the facts and circumstances. "Tell him I agree to a truce - and I won't say anything to anyone about his coming here."

Sydney's face broke open to one of his brilliant, even-toothed smiles that could warm the coldest room, and he impulsively leaned forward and framed Miss Parker's face between his huge hands and dropped a fervent kiss on her cheek that brought a quick blush to her face. "Thank you, Parker," he exclaimed and got immediately to his feet. "I'll go let him know of your decision."

"You know," I told her when Sydney had disappeared again, "if you're as determined that Sydney remain happy as you say you are, then you couldn't have done anything that would guarantee it more than what you just did."

Her grey eyes flicked up to meet mine. "I suppose," she offered, "but I have to admit in all honesty, I did it as much for myself as for Syd."

"I kinda figured," I told her indulgently. "Your face gave you away," I explained as her expression turned confused. "For a moment there, you reminded me of me about seven months ago."

It took a moment for the meaning of my words to sink in, and I knew the moment they had by the change of expression in those beautiful eyes from chagrin to outright astonishment. But the sound of voices from the back of the house was growing closer - little Jacob's excited chattering answered by a deep voice that I hadn't heard for a while. Neither had Miss Parker. She grew very still and turned, like I did, toward the archway to see who was coming.

Jarod rounded the corner of the archway with an excited little boy in his arms. "Look, Sissy! Somebody new comed!" Jacob crowed. He reached out his little arms for his big sister.

"Hello, Parker," Jarod said in a cautious tone, letting Jacob tip forward out of his hold toward Miss Parker, who was reaching up for her little brother over the back of the couch immediately. "I think someone was looking for you."

"Hello, Jarod." Oh, I ached at the control she was putting into holding her voice to a very neutral tone, for I knew how much it was costing her. Their gazes had snagged and caught, and the intensity of the emotion that sped back and forth between the two of them without words was amazing. "You look well."

"Thanks," he said, his voice filled with a warmth I'd never heard from him before. "So do you." Then he seemed to remember the reason for his visit, and those dark chocolate eyes came over to meet mine. "Cathy - I heard you had a little excitement here yesterday. I thought I'd drop by and make sure... You're OK?"

My brows went up and down again in wry acknowledgement. "Well, enough," I told with him. "I appreciate the concern. This is a pleasant surprise, though, having you here on a Sunday afternoon. Can you stay for a meal?"

His gaze moved back to Miss Parker's. "That depends," he hedged carefully.

"You don't have to leave on my account," she told him, looking down and then fussing with Jacob's hair. "Cathy wants this to be neutral territory - I can't see a reason to disagree." She hesitated. "You're family too," she admitted finally. "You belong."

His face brightened immediately. "I guess I can," he answered me with a dawning smile.

Jacob scowled at his sister for what he'd heard. "He fambly too, Sissy?"

"That's another Uncle for you, Jakie," I replied for her when she seemed taken aback by her little brother's question. "Uncle Jarod - but he's a secret Uncle, so we don't ever talk about him except just here." The grey eyes met mine again, and I could see that she both understood and agreed with what I was doing.

"That's right, Jakie," she said, running a fond hand through his hair. "We don't talk about Uncle Jarod at home around Uncle Bill or Uncle Lyle." I shuddered at the sound of those two names, and I knew Jarod was cringing himself. "Only when you're with me either here or at Sissy's house, OK? We don't want Uncle Jarod to get in trouble, do we?"

"Unkoh Bill get Unkoh Jarod in big trouble?" The little boy wanted to make sure he understood the situation.

"That's right," Miss Parker nodded soberly. "And that's why it's really important that you not say anything to Uncle Bill or Uncle Lyle - or even Doctor Cox. This is a very special secret, and we need you to give us a Big Boy promise never to tell. Do you think you can do that for us?"

She knew her little brother well, for his eyes began to glow when his sister mentioned that what he was doing was a Big Boy thing. "I pwomise," he swore solemnly. "I never tell."

"Good boy!" I told him with a huge smile. "I think our Big Boy needs a Big Boy snack, don't you?"

"I know just the thing," Jarod smirked and pulled his hand from his pocket with one of his ever-present Pez dispensers. "Ever have Pez, Jacob?"

Jacob shook his head in excited anticipation as his big sister shook her head and rolled her eyes in exasperation. She refrained from commenting, though, and I was very proud of her for keeping her sharp tongue sheathed and suffering her little brother the new experience of taking one of the candy pellets from the dispenser between his teeth just like Jarod did. "Good!" the child told his sister with bright eyes. He began squirming. "Want down," he announced firmly. "Want go outside wiff Rene an' Nich'las and Debbie."

"Be good now," Miss Parker told him as she put his feet on the ground and watched him trot out of sight.

"He's charming," Jarod said, moving around the end of the couch and finding one of the easy chairs near the hearth. "It's good to see you taking care of him too."

"He looks forward to Sundays so," Miss Parker told him, moving from the couch to the other easy chair so that I could stretch out my feet more and be comfortable. "We come over here every weekend lately..."

I lay there, not quite listening to their careful conversation - their first in a very long time - and I felt our peanut busily playing inside me. I closed my eyes and let the reality of our family finally being together - all of them under the same roof - soak in. Contented, I drifted off with a feeling of well being that surpassed anything I'd experienced to date.

A dream had come true.

~~~~~~~~

Eventually Sydney came into the livingroom to rouse me for a supper prepared, this time, by Debbie and Miss Parker. My eyes opened to see my beloved's face as free of lines and cares as I'd ever seen - and I knew that the day's events had done him nothing but good. "They're all here, Sydney," I told him softly, putting a hand to that face I loved so much. "They're ALL here!"

"That they are," he agreed in a soft and vibrant voice. His dark honey eyes were warm and contented and full of love. "It's a miracle - I never thought it would happen."

"Neither did I," I admitted, "but I hoped. Where is everybody?" I looked around - the easy chairs by the hearth were empty.

"I got the croquet set out again when the girls kicked us men out of the kitchen to start supper. I think Jarod and Broots are still coaching Jacob in the finer points."

My lips quirked at the way he'd put things. "So “the girls” kicked you men out of the kitchen, did they?" I repeated. "Girls including Rene?"

"All three of them ganged up on us about an hour ago. Rene has spent her time sitting at the table doing salad vegetables - that's all Parker would let her do." He chuckled and leaned forward to confide, "And Nicholas hasn't left her side."

I chuckled too. "Now why doesn't that surprise me?"

He spread his hand across my stomach, and our peanut immediately was pushing back into it. "That's more like it, ma petite," he said gently to his daughter, and then looked into my face carefully. "How are you doing?"

"Feeling better, actually," I said, and I meant it. "She let me sleep rather soundly this afternoon."

"Good," he nodded, and patted his daughter affectionately. "You really needed a nap and for the day to stay completely free of stress. But now, it's time for you to get up and wash up to come to the table. Parker decided to try out a new recipe on us - so we play “guinea pig” tonight."

I sniffed the air appreciatively. "If it tastes as good as it smells, I may have to get the recipe."

"C'mon." He rose and extended both hands down to me so that I could pull myself up to a sitting position and then to my feet.

"God, I feel like a beached whale," I told him as I began my waddling gait. "Maybe I need a backup beeper like on a garbage truck to warn people I'm coming through."

"Stop that," Sydney laughed at me. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and tucked me securely into his embrace. "You happen to be insulting the most beautiful woman I..."

"You, my dear, are prejudiced," I interrupted him by patting his stomach and then chuckled back at him. "Either that or your rose-colored glasses have holograms printed on the insides."

Everyone was already at the table waiting for us as we entered the dining room, and I think I paused just to enjoy the moment. "What a treat to have everyone here," I told the group. "I hope this happens more often," I added, then took the place set for me.

The seating arrangements definitely reflected the changing dynamics of the relationships. Sydney had his usual patriarch's chair at the head of the table, but I was now displaced to his immediate right. Next to me was Debbie, and then her father. Miss Parker had taken my hostess' seat at the other end of the table, with Jacob to her right next to Jarod. Nicholas and Rene sat to Sydney's left.

I don't know that the conversation around our very full dining table had ever had the energy and obvious affection that it had that evening. There seemed to be three conversations going on at any one point, with Parker and Jarod laughing together and looking more relaxed than I'd dared hope and Nicholas and Rene often putting their heads together to chuckle over some private joke. The rest of us seemed to float from one grouping to the next or, as time went by, Broots and Sydney and Debbie and I found our own topic so we could leave the others to their own discussions.

Broots and Debbie were the first to leave - Debbie needed to return to a report that had yet to be written for her next day's English class. Nicholas and Rene declared themselves the cleanup crew for the evening, leaving Sydney, Parker, Jarod, Jacob and myself to entertain ourselves. Jarod and Sydney rounded up a chess board and sat back down at the dining table for a long-awaited rematch from Jarod's last visit. Miss Parker and I moved ourselves and Jacob's sleepy play with his die-cast cars to the living room.

I watched her face as she watched her little brother absently, obviously still listening to the deep voice of her childhood friend in light-hearted and animated conversation with his old mentor. "You care for him a lot, don't you?" I asked finally, bringing her grey eyes up to meet mine.

"I'd forgotten how much," she sighed deeply. "It's been so long since we've just spent some time together without..."

"You looked happy," I told her carefully.

"I know." She looked back down at her little brother, lying on his side playing with his cars with drooping eyes. "I don't know what I'm going to do." She hesitated and then started speaking as if she needed to pour her heart out to someone. "I want..." she began, and I nodded to show I knew exactly what she was talking about, "but I'm afraid of what could happen."

"Find time for a little happiness, Parker," I told her gently. "Don't let the Centre dictate your life from beginning to end."

"You do know what happened the last time I tried to get a life, don't you?" she asked with a trace of bitterness.

I nodded. Sydney had told me the story of her murdered lover, complete with the suspicions that they had shared of the Centre's complicity in the killing. That, after all, had been the working basis of our having a sweeper at the house with me when he was at work - to prevent a similar tragedy. "Yes, but this time, the Centre doesn't need to know what you're up to," I reminded her. "You've already established a routine in coming over here. This is neutral ground, remember?"

"Before we lost touch, Jarod had been trying to pry me loose from the Centre for years. But now, I couldn't leave Jakie behind..."

"I doubt Jarod would let you." Jarod was far too dedicated to the principles of family to let anyone just abandon a child that way. "But that doesn't mean you can't have your happiness here..."

"With Lyle and Raines looking over my shoulder and butting in every chance they got?"

"You can always call 911," I reminded her with an impish chuckle. "Provided you're not breaking any laws, there's no reason they should feel they have the right to control your life outside work."

She sighed and rested her chin in her hand. "If only it were that easy, Cathy."

"It can be," I told her firmly, "but only if you set firm limits with the Centre and then stick to your guns in enforcing those limits."

"Maybe." She fell silent, and I did too. Jacob, for his part, had finally fallen asleep on the soft carpet in the middle of his play. After a while, she rose to her feet and began gathering the scattered toys back into the basket without waking the child. "I suppose I'd better get Jakie home to bed," she said finally, a touch of reluctance in her voice. "Let me go give my farewells to the others, and then I'll get him up."

I nodded and watched over the little boy while listening to her stop first in the kitchen and then, later, at the table. When she returned to collect her brother and his toy collection, she had both a dark-haired companion as well as a silver-haired one. "I'll get Jakie, Parker," Jarod told her, leaning over and pulling the sleeping child off the floor without rousing him with surprising ease. "You get the toys."

"Good night, Parker," I told her, then pushed myself to my feet to walk over to Jarod and give the little boy a goodbye kiss. "See you next week, Jacob."

"Good night, Parker." Sydney gave her another gentle kiss on the cheek. "And thanks for the tasty meal." He looked up at his former protégé. "You're taking off too?"

"I probably should," Jarod nodded, then bent to give me a kiss on the cheek. "You behave yourself and keep quiet. Your baby needs to stay put for a little while longer yet."

"I will, Doctor," I teased him gently, patting him on the forearm. "You take care of yourself too - and come back soon."

"Good night, Sydney - and thanks for the game."

"Don't mention it," my husband smiled. "I mean it - I'd rather it not get around how badly I let you beat me this time..."

Sydney clapped a hand on his shoulder and escorted the two of them to the front door. Standing there in the doorway together, we watched as Jarod followed Miss Parker to her car and very carefully placed Jacob in his car seat. And then I think we both held our breaths as he turned and gave her a very brief hug, one she returned for a moment before pushing away to head to the driver's side of the car. Jarod watched her drive away and, with a jaunty wave at us, headed off into the darkness.

"I think I'll turn off the lights in the front, and then I think I've had it for the day," I told Sydney with another pat to his tummy.

"I'll tell Nicholas to lock up the back," Sydney replied and then headed off toward the back of the house again. He was back just a few moments later, as I was finishing with the lamps near the easy chairs. "Cat, you HAVE to come look for a moment."

"What?" I asked as I followed him back until he let me by him but stopped me in the kitchen doorway. He pointed, and then I leaned back against him and smiled at the scene before me even as his hands swept around our unborn daughter and me from behind.

Nicholas and Rene had returned outside to share one of the lawn chairs in the back yard after their kitchen duty was finished and now sat talking together very quietly. Nicholas had his arm very cautiously around Rene's back to give her support. She was leaning into him a little, I noticed, and he was leaning back just enough.

I tipped my head back and looked up into my husband's moonlit face. "I think things have gone well today on a number of fronts."

"Indeed." He looked down at me with eyes that glittered in the moonlight. A huge and gentle hand came up and held my face. "Have I told you lately how much I love you?"

"As a matter of fact," I started, but didn't get any further. His lips had found mine in the perfect end to a perfect day.









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