Chapter 18

            He couldn’t see it but he knew it was there.

            Jarod skidded to a halt just outside the door.  He cast a frantic look back over his shoulder, somewhat relieved to see his guards were still down for the count but knowing that he’d have another contingent of Sweepers on his tail before long.  He had to move now!

            But his feet stubbornly refused to obey.  Even as his mind screamed RUN, his body balked in anticipation of electric shocks coursing through his system.  He knew Broots must be hidden somewhere nearby, generating the jamming frequency that would allow him to pass through the invisible fence unscathed, but he’d feel so much better if he knew for sure that the juice had been shut off.

            Alarms began to sound and he knew it was now or never.  Taking a deep breath, Jarod forced himself forward and…

            Nothing happened.  With his adrenaline kicking into high gear, Jarod sped down the sidewalk and careened around the corner of the building…

            Only to come face to face with Lyle.  “And where do you think you’re going?” he asked. 

            NO!  Jarod lunged at the man, but before he could even touch him, he felt the painful jolt of electricity shoot through his body.  He jerked and…

            …woke up to find Miss Parker bending over him.  “It’s okay, Jarod, you’re just dreaming,” she was saying.

            Disoriented and struggling to break free from the tendrils of the dream, Jarod still automatically glanced at the camera in the corner of his cell.

             Miss Parker said quietly, “Don’t worry.  Broots is looping the security feed.  We have fifteen minutes.”  She paused.  “You alright?”

            He imagined he looked like hell.  As always when waking from a nightmare, he was covered in a cold sweat and felt shaky and slightly nauseous.  “Fine,” he said, surprised to hear the raspiness in his voice.  Had he been screaming in his sleep?  He suddenly realized Miss Parker’s hand was resting on his shoulder.  Had she shaken him awake?  Unnerving to know he’d been so deeply mired in his nightmare that he hadn’t heard her enter his cell.  And embarrassing to have her see him like this.

            Which was just stupid.  She’d already seen him at his most vulnerable when he’d been tortured by Lyle in the elevator and again in the sim lab (since he was certain she’d been hiding in Sydney’s office), so why did he mind her finding him in the throes of a nightmare?  The security camera had certainly recorded him thrashing about in his sleep before, so any number of strangers had seen him being tormented by his nocturnal demons.  So why did it bother him so much when Miss Parker was the one to see him like this?

            Lying here analyzing his feelings was not helping.  He cleared his throat.  As if that was a signal, Miss Parker hastily removed her hand and straightened up.  Jarod quickly got to his feet, trying not to mind the fact that she instinctively backed away from his sudden move.  He stepped to the sink and splashed some cold water on his face.

            “What time is it?” he asked.

            “Early, around five-thirty,” she said. 

            Yet she looked as crisp as ever in her dove gray blazer and matching pencil skirt.  A tantalizing bit of black lace filled in the V-neckline of the jacket.  Jarod had been a fashion photographer once, and since then, he’d come to appreciate the feminine touches of Miss Parker’s wardrobe; today her color and texture choices were softer than her normal leather but gave away none of her professional panache.  His matching ensemble of baggy gray sweatpants and oversized gray tee shirt, along with the two days’ worth of stubble he sported (he was only given a shave a few times each week) made him feel positively grungy next to her.  He dried his face on the sleeve of his tee and wondered dully why he gave a damn about his appearance. 

            “Your guards in the hall couldn’t even stay awake through their whole shift,” Miss Parker went on, “thanks to a little something in their coffee besides cream, courtesy of Broots’ friend Sarge in Food Services.  And before you ask, Sarge is a woman who has never been in the military.  According to Broots, her nickname came about from her extremely short haircut and her tendency to bark orders at her co-workers.”  She sighed.  “I figure between the guy with the facial tic, the bearded lady, and the toothless wonder, Broots has his own private army here at the Centre.  Or his own circus.”

            Jarod had to agree with her about Broots’ oddly but aptly named acquaintances, but he found it hard to believe that she was wasting part of their precious 15-minute window to talk about this.  Despite her polished appearance, she was acting somewhat rattled.  If he didn’t know her better, he’d say she was babbling.

            Was she nervous about something?  What?  They hadn’t been alone like this since their brief time in the elevator.  The first part of that chance encounter had been very pleasant – for both of them, he knew that much.  Was she worried that something like that might happen again now that they were off-camera?  Did she want something to happen between them? 

            Was this what teenagers felt like when they first started dating?  He had no such experiences from that time in his life, so he wasn’t sure how he should be acting.  But he and Miss Parker were adults, old enough to be able to exchange a few kisses and not be overwhelmed by awkwardness the next time they saw each other.

            Or was it the words he’d said in that elevator that made her so uncomfortable?  I thought I’d lost you…  So relieved to see her alive and well, he’d blurted out what he was thinking and unintentionally revealed the depth of his feelings for her.  Feelings that had lain buried for years, only rising to the surface in times of crisis, like when she’d taken a bullet meant for her father or been infected with a deadly virus by her crazy brother.  Feelings that he’d finally had time to explore in the long, lonely hours in his cell.  He wasn’t afraid anymore to admit to himself just how important Miss Parker was to him.

            But what were her feelings towards him?

            Priorities, Jarod!  He was a prisoner of the Centre, forced to live hidden away from the world, and subject to torture at any moment.  He needed to focus on getting out of here, because that was the best way to keep those dear to him safe.  Miss Parker certainly hadn’t orchestrated this elaborate pre-dawn visit just to steal a few more kisses.  Her reluctance to get to the point probably had nothing to do with their personal feelings.  Whatever she had to tell him, she didn’t want to… 

            Jarod swallowed hard.  “Have the plans changed for Saturday?” he asked.

            “No, we’re still on track for then… I take it you got the message from Broots?”

            Ah, so that was the reason for her visit this morning; she was making sure he knew about the escape plan.  “Yes.  I could use a few more details, though; the way the message was delivered, it could only cover the basics.”

            She looked slightly pained.  “I’m afraid to ask,” she muttered.

“I found a few coded lines scrawled inside my Styrofoam coffee cup Monday morning.  Probably written there by another of Broots’ pals in the kitchen.”  He paused.  “Good thing it was indelible ink; I didn’t discover the writing until I’d drunk most of the coffee.”

            Miss Parker rolled her eyes.  “I think Broots is getting a little too caught up in the cloak and dagger game.”

            “Well, he’s the one who came up with a way to get me out of here, so it’s fine with me if he wants to use clever ways to pass notes to me.  What I gathered from his latest message is that I’m supposed to leave through the northeast service entrance on Saturday, because that’s where Broots is going to deactivate the invisible fence.”

            She nodded.  “It’s up to you to get your guards to walk you past that door.  You’ll be able to break free of them, right?”

            “Shouldn’t be a problem, especially with that new Sweeper.  He hasn’t seen my moves yet.”

            She smiled slightly.  “That’s one of the reasons we planned your escape for the week Willie’s on vacation.”

            “That’s good.  I really didn’t want to have to break his nose a third time.”

            “Well, I don’t have any more details, but I did bring you a couple of things I thought you might need,” Miss Parker said briskly, pulling a small manila envelope from the pocket of her blazer.  “Once you get past the invisible fence, you’re going to need to move fast, so I figured the key to your handcuffs would come in handy.”

            “I appreciate that,” he said dryly, thinking how she owed him as much, since she was the one who told the Centre what kind of cuffs would hold him.

            She said, “I’m glad to see you’re free of your shackles in here at least.”

            “I’ve been following Sydney’s advice, staying on my best behavior.  I don’t want to give Lyle any excuse to put me back into solitary.  Or to zap me again.”

            He said it lightly, but he sensed Miss Parker’s discomfort on his behalf.  She looked down at the envelope she held as she said, “Once you’re free of this place, I imagine your first priority will be getting that implant removed.  Broots put all of his research on Dr. Archer and other experts in her field onto a mini flash drive for you.  Hopefully you’ll be able to find someone who can safely do the surgery.”

            That was the number one item on his to-do list after he’d escaped.  “That information will be a big help.  Please thank Broots for me,” he said.

            “I will.”  She fingered the envelope thoughtfully.  “There’s something else in here.  From Angelo.  A going-away present, I suppose.”

            “From Angelo?”  He wondered what it could be.  Whatever else he was, the enigmatic empath had been someone Jarod could trust to always supply him with whatever he needed most.

            “I guess Angelo found where Lyle’s been keeping your belongings.  He left this on my desk yesterday – with a few Cracker Jacks as his calling card.”  She held out the envelope.  “I’m sure he knew you’d want this back.”

            With sudden anticipation of what this mystery item could be, Jarod accepted the envelope with trembling fingers.  He fumbled with the clasp but finally opened it and reached inside to pull out… the photo of his mother.

            Staring down at her sweet ageless smile, he realized how much he’d missed having this with him.  All those years on the run, he’d kept this laminated wallet-size version close at hand.  On the days when he felt particularly adrift in a world of strangers, he would look at this picture and find strength and renewed purpose in knowing that someone was out there who would never stop looking for him as he would never give up the search for her.  Now, as he’d done many times before, he clutched the photo tightly in his hand, closed his eyes, and silently vowed that someday he would be reunited with his family.

            He opened his eyes to find Miss Parker watching him, a myriad of emotions flickering across her face.  She suddenly reached out and took his hands in hers.  “You’ll find her, Jarod,” she said softly.  “I know you will.”

            He had trouble speaking past the sudden lump in his throat.  “I hope so,” he managed thickly.  He looked down at their clasped hands and wondered at how right it felt.

            Miss Parker must not have shared this sentiment, because she quickly released him and backed away. 

Jarod carefully tucked the photo back inside the envelope with the key and flash drive, re-fastened it, and automatically headed straight for the old hiding place both he and his brother Kyle had used when growing up at the Centre: the crevice between the sink and the wall. 

Miss Parker cleared her throat.  “Well, before you can find anyone, you have to get out of here.  What do you think of the plan for Saturday?”

Her tone was all business, helping to cut through the heavy emotions permeating the air.  Jarod answered in kind:  “I think it just may work.  If Broots can successfully jam the frequency the invisible fence uses –”

“He will,” she said firmly.

Jarod hid a smile.  If she’d just show Broots the confidence she had in him instead of constantly belittling him… But he knew Broots was completely secure in his computer skills and didn’t need Miss Parker’s approval in that area.

“Well, then, with a little luck, I should be able to pull off yet another amazing escape from this fortress.”

“I’ve taken extra steps to stack the odds in our favor,” Miss Parker said.  “With Broots’ help, I’m making sure Lyle will be well out of the way on Saturday.  You don’t have to worry about him showing up with his little black box.”

Jarod was startled.  It was almost like she could see into his dreams.  “What have you done?” he asked.

“Forged a false trail for him to follow.  Broots dropped a few tantalizing crumbs for Brigitte to scoop up and feed to Lyle, which she did.  Lyle now believes that I have a secret meeting on Saturday with an expert in nanotechnology.  According to Broots’ girlfriend Cindy in Accounting, he’s already used his Centre charge card to book a flight to follow me out of town.”  She looked very pleased with herself.  “You’re not the only one, Jarod, who knows how to send others on wild goose chases.”

He felt a twinge of unease at her habit of underestimating her brother.  Lyle had become a smarter and more dangerous opponent as of late.  “What happens when he realizes you’ve led him to a dead end?”

“Don’t worry, I won’t be anywhere nearby.  I have no intention of leaving town; I’m staying right here to make sure your escape goes as planned.  Lyle will have a nice long flight home to cool off before he sees me.”

“Or a nice long flight to simmer until he’s reached the boiling point just when he arrives back in Blue Cove!”

“But by then you’ll be on the loose again, and Lyle will have his hands full trying to get you back before the Triumverate can punish him.  He’ll need me to help him do that.”

The memory of Lyle pointing a gun at Miss Parker in the cemetery flashed before Jarod’s eyes.  “You’re right about that,” he said sourly.  “He’ll use you to get to me.  You’ll be in danger.”

“Damn it, Jarod, will you make up your mind?”  She stalked to the far corner of the cell, raking her fingers through her glossy brown hair in frustration.  “I thought you agreed with Sydney that none of us are safe as long as you’re here at the Centre.”

“I know Sydney can be very persuasive, but he’s better than I thought if that’s the argument he used to convince you to go along with this escape plan.”

She turned back to face him, a stubborn slant to her jaw.  “No one had to convince me that Lyle’s out of control.  He’s gotten too powerful.  You escape on his watch again, and his stock with the powers-that-be will plummet.”

“So that’s why you’re helping me?  Because it’s your best chance to bring Lyle down?  No other reason?” 

“What do you want from me, Jarod?”  Now she sounded slightly weary.

He was tired, too, tired of things unspoken, feelings kept hidden.  “The truth!” he demanded, taking a step towards her.

The fire was back in her voice as she replied, “The truth?  The truth is that by helping you to escape I’m making all those years of trying to catch you count for nothing!  I’m throwing my career in the toilet by defying the Centre!  And if my father finds out what I’ve done, I’ll have ruined our relationship forever!”

“So why are you doing this?”

“I don’t know why!” she cried.

“Don’t you?” he asked softly, slowly moving towards her.  She backed away from him until she ended up in the corner directly beneath the camera.  He stopped his relentless approach when their faces were mere inches apart.

“Jarod, I –” she began.

But the time for words was past.  He wanted to feel her answer, so he cut off her reply by covering her mouth with his.

At first she was unresponsive in his embrace, and his heart sank.  But then, she grabbed the front of his shirt, tugging him closer until his body was pressed against hers.  She hungrily returned the kiss, deepening it, until his head swam and his heart pounded in his ears.

As much as he enjoyed the kiss, Jarod took greater pleasure in the fact that this was the first time his hands were free when they were alone together.  He took full advantage, running his fingers through her silky hair, then letting his hands roam down her back all the way to her hips and slowly back up again. He slipped the blazer off her left shoulder, exposing the thin black strap of her lace camisole.  He hooked a finger under that strap…

She tore her mouth free.  “Jarod, we can’t…”

He was undeterred, transferring his lips to the side of her neck before trailing a line of kisses to the warm bare skin of her shoulder.  A low moan escaped her lips.

But it quickly turned into a groan of frustration.  “No, Jarod, stop.  This isn’t real,” she said.

He wouldn’t let her go.  He cupped her face in his hands, forced her to look at him as he insisted, “I’m not pretending.  Not with you.”  Believe me, he thought.  Please believe me.

A myriad of emotions warred for dominance in the roiling depths of her dark blue eyes.  “I know you’re not trying to deceive me,” she said finally, “but we can’t trust these feelings we’re having.”

She started to pull away again, and this time he released her.  Adjusting her clothing, she took a few quick steps to put some distance between them and went on, talking rapidly, “There’s a physical attraction between us, I won’t deny that.  Okay, maybe even an emotional one.  After all, when we were children we were each other’s only friends.”  She stopped to take a breath.  When she spoke again, her voice was steady and a touch resigned.  “But now we’re just two lonely adults, looking for some grown-up comfort.”

He leaned his forehead against the wall, thinking how nice some “grown-up comfort” would be right now.  But no, his feelings for Miss Parker went beyond physical desire, and he really wished she wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss them.  “You need to give us a chance,” he said quietly.

“There is no ‘us!’  If all goes well, you’ll be leaving the day after tomorrow.”

He straightened.  “Then come with me!”

She turned slowly.  “What did you say?”

So he had uttered those words out loud.  He looked at her, feeling as shocked as she looked.  But he wasn’t sorry he’d let his heart speak for him.  “I said you could come with me,” he repeated, not backing down.

She stared at him a moment longer, but he could read nothing from her expression.  She finally said, “And do what?  Be your sidekick while you continue your crusade to defend the weak and abused?”

Sarcastic humor.  Miss Parker’s favorite method of avoidance.  He wasn’t going to let her off that easy.  “I’m being serious,” he said.

“So am I, Jarod.  Life on the run is not for me.”

Oh, and I just love it so much?  He bit back the caustic reply.  He’d blindsided them both with the question; if she wasn’t ready to give him a straight answer, could he really blame her?  And he understood that she couldn’t just go along for the ride; she needed a purpose.

“But I need you,” he said.

She regarded him warily.  “Jarod, what-”

            “With your skills at finding people, you could help me locate my family!”  The idea had just come to him, but it made perfect sense: he and Miss Parker working together to find his mother, father, and sister. 

            “And leave mine behind?”

            “Some family.  An evil twin brother and a deceitful, self-centered father.”

            As soon as the words were out, he regretted them, especially when he saw Miss Parker’s face tighten.  “I’m sorry,” he began.

            She shrugged off his apology.  “Forget it.  You’re right about my brother.  Which is why I have to stay here and personally see to it that Lyle is neutralized.”

            He was almost afraid to ask.  “How?”

            “I’m hoping the Triumverate will take him to Africa and re-wire his brain.  Maybe give him religion like they did Raines.”

            “You believe Raines’ born-again routine?”

            “Who knows?” She sounded tired.  “How can you tell, anyway?  All these modern-day preachers seem phony to me.  At least it got Raines out of our hair; last I heard he was off in some third-world country doing missionary work.”

            “Hm.”  Jarod hoped that whatever game Raines was playing, he’d do it far away.  There were only so many threats he could deal with at a time.  And Lyle was his number one priority.  No matter what arrangements Miss Parker made to deal with her brother, Jarod intended to make his own plans for the psychopath.

            Miss Parker had moved towards the door of his cell, and he feared their time was coming to an end.  The mood had shifted enough so that he knew he couldn’t hope for a goodbye kiss, but he needed some sort of resolution.  “So…what now?” he ventured.  “I escape, and we just go back to the same old routine?  I run, you chase?”

            Her back was to him.  “I don’t think we have any other choice,” she said.

            Yes, we have a choice!  You could run away with me.  We’d be in danger, but at least we’d be together, and I could protect you from Lyle, and we’d somehow find a way to be happy, and…

            And he knew it was all just a dream that he’d probably never even be able to enjoy in his sleep.

            “No,” Miss Parker said suddenly, “we can’t just go back to the way things were.”

            His heart leapt.  What was she saying?

            She turned to look at him, determination clearly written on her face.  “After you escape this time, Jarod, I want you to truly break free of this place.  Don’t call or e-mail with cryptic clues about my family’s history or some other horrible revelation about the Centre.  I know you do that to distract us from hunting you, but it’s also keeping you from finding your own family.  You need to focus all your energy on the search for your parents and sister.  Forget about helping needy strangers; you don’t need to atone for past crimes the Centre forced you to commit.” 

She paused.  “Of course, you’ll still have to keep on your toes to avoid Centre Sweepers, but I’m sure you can handle that, especially if you’re not distracted by an elaborate Pretend.  I’ll do my best to keep Lyle off your tail, but I can’t badly botch too many attempts to capture you without arousing suspicion.  Although,” she added wryly, “failing to catch you does pass for normal.”  Then she sobered again.  “Jarod, listen to me.  Find your family and then relocate to some remote village or uninhabited island and live your life in peace.  Forget about this hellhole and be happy!”

            He was slightly stunned.  What she said made sense; his divided attention over the past few years had kept him from successfully locating his family.  He was surprised she knew him so well.  Except for one thing: he could never truly be happy if he had to forget about her.  He wasn’t just feeding her clues to her past to distract her; he wanted her to know the whole sordid Parker history so she’d finally be willing to walk away from her family and this place once and for all.  Even if her path didn’t lead to him, he wanted her free of the Centre.

            He realized she was watching him, waiting for… what?  What kind of response could he possibly give her?  He couldn’t make any promises, at least not the ones she wanted to hear.

            Her disappointment was plain to see, although she tried to cover quickly with her all-business face.  “Good luck, Jarod,” she said and turned to go.

            “Wait!” he said, sending a quick glance back at the camera.  “Our time’s not up yet, is it?”

            She paused, the door half-open.  “It will be soon enough,” she replied quietly.  Then she stepped into the hall, closing the door firmly behind her. 

            He slowly returned to his cot, knowing he had to appear to still be asleep when the camera started recording again.  But he had no intention of returning to his latest nightmare.  Instead, he’d try a visualization technique and imagine himself pulling off a flawless escape on Saturday.

            Then maybe – just maybe – it would come true.

            He never looked back.

            Miss Parker stood behind her desk, intently watching the live camera feed that Broots had shown her how to access on her computer.  She saw Jarod come out of the northeast service door.  He appeared flushed but none the worse for wear after a presumably fierce battle with his guards.  As he stepped away from the building, she held her breath, hoping that Broots had done his job and deactivated the invisible fence.  Jarod writhing on the ground was a sight she never wanted to see again.

Jarod moved forward and… nothing happened.  He increased speed and was running as he rounded the corner and disappeared from sight.

She let out her breath and wondered at the anticlimactic feeling she was having.  What had she expected?  For Jarod to pause and sketch a jaunty salute at the camera?  Or shake his fist in defiance at the Centre? 

Or for him to stare directly into the lens and try to send her a secret message with the intensity of his soulful gaze?

Ridiculous.

            The alarms sounded.  Miss Parker shook off her foolish thoughts and reluctantly went to join the hunt.