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Thank you to the brave souls that spent time beta reading. You inspire me!
RIP Dan Fogelberg, I'll always be a fan.
Just a reminder this is an AU piece, I hope to keep you interested.
and of course disclaimer applies... not my toys, not my playground...
RIP Dan Fogelberg, I'll always be a fan.
Just a reminder this is an AU piece, I hope to keep you interested.
and of course disclaimer applies... not my toys, not my playground...
CHAPTER 5
Out past the reach of your beginnings
There is a gamble in each
Proud act of flight
But the losses pale before the winnings
Circling and diving with
Freedom you’ve found
Illusion blows apart and scatters
There is no darkness in this place
That we’re bound
Love is the only thing that matters
“Icarus Ascending” -Dan Fogelberg
Major Charles turned toward the sound of the steps entering the kitchen, “So you have Sleeping Beauty all tucked in for the night?”
Jarod smiled at his father’s epithet for Parker, he knew she would have the new title with just a touch of well-seasoned stoicism sprinkled with her caustic wit. His head tilted to one side as he considered all the possible outcomes, this particular one was completely unexpected: the Major’s unequivocal acceptance of Parker.
There was the Major’s initial question when he asked if Jarod knew what he was doing, but from that point onward all the Major did was offer his support and aide in getting Parker through the surgery. Even going out of his way to offer his warmest hospitality for the woman whose job was detrimental to their well-being for the last several years.
All of this added to the sense of pride and familiar security Jarod had been reading about in Maslow’s theory. He knew he was doing the right thing by introducing Parker to this idea of what most people experience as a member of a healthy family unit. A far cry from the she had been accustomed: being part of a family that was both morally embarrassing and thoroughly corrupt. With such specimens as a mad twin, murderous step-mother and an ethically bankrupt father who used her and never gave an inkling that she was anything more to them than an instrument of their own agendas.
Jarod could feel his smile widen as he looked at his father with new eyes, seeing fully appreciating the older man’s ability to open his heart and home to both his clone as well as Jarod’s injured adversary.
“I stayed with her a bit until she was settled and asleep. She overdid it for her first day out of bed. She pushed herself to the limit. As you get to know her, you will see she is the definition of tenacious. Because of this trait I put together a special mix of a prescription cocktail for her, a little sedative combined with some pain meds. Hopefully she’ll sleep through the night.”
The Major raised his eyebrows, “Son, exactly what kind of a relationship do you have with her that makes you think she’s going to stick around when she’s healed.”
“It’s complicated. She was the first girl I ever met and my best friend. I shared my first adventures with her. The only world I knew outside of the Centre I saw through her eyes. She gave me my first kiss, and like it or not became the woman whom I measured all women against. Then her father had her sent away. It was years until we saw each other again. I didn’t recognize her, it was more than how beautiful a woman she had become; it was as though her whole persona changed.”
Jarod lowered his head as he remembered the first time he saw her in her professional attire, her high heels, her face made up. It was as if all the softness in her ace and bearing had been erased making it seem like she was made of granite.”
“Do you know what happened to her during that time, Jarod? What could have happened to have changed her so completely from the child you described?”
“I don’t know the details but Centre training must have played a significant role. The innocent gentle little girl I knew died with the same shot that killed her mother in that Centre elevator.”
The Major’s hand soothingly gripped his son’s shoulder, “That would traumatize any child, including the young boy who tried to help his best friend fright after her mother’s death. Yet, here you are a kind and forgiving man.”
“I’m not that forgiving. I haven’t always been kind to Parker. She has reasons since my escape to be angry with me. We’ve done our share of ugly things to each other. Sometimes, she told me, my actions were cruel. I always thought that a slap in the face was the best way to wake her up to what was happening around her. She needed and still needs to open her eyes to and see the lies and betrayals for what they are.” Jarod’s tone may have sounded contrite but his expression revealed nothing about his true feelings.
“But what I managed to do was further the distance between us and make her question my motives. The trust that existed in childhood was a strong bond between us that now hangs by a thread. In order to cope she has purposely shut down her emotions, not just those concerning me but life in general. It is such a loss to everyone, to those that do care for her but this brand of emotional compartmentalization is not healthy for her either.”
Jarod stopped talking, the only sound was the large kitchen wall clock ticking off the seconds. “Dad, do you know what they call her in the Centre?”
He looked at his father, concern and guilt tinted the brown orbs, “They refer to her as “The Ice Queen”.
Major Charles closed his eyes rubbing the space between them with his thumb. “From the DSAs I saw, you may have experienced the physical harsh demands of working out the Sims the Centre gave you, and in turn suffered emotionally from them.” He opened his eyes and studied his son, “What was done to Miss Parker is not recorded on any DSAs we have. It makes me wonder what she endured and how she survived the trauma of seeing her mother shot down in a place her family runs and in which she now works. I think there are still too many important details about her life that remain unknown to us. “
“That’s just it Dad, I’m not sure she survived it intact.” A wistful expression crossed Jarod’s face, “But every once in a while I catch a glimpse of the Miss Parker who was my childhood best friend. There are times like today with Jem, when that beautiful child I grew up with shines through all that protective armor”
“Jarod, why not get some rest yourself. I’ll switch rooms with you tonight. I’ll attend to Miss Parker if she needs anything during the night. You take my room and get a full night’s sleep.”
“Thanks Dad, but I need to be close in case she needs me. I think she’d feel a bit more comfortable asking me for help to the bathroom than she would you. I don’t generally sleep a lot. I’ll manage catch a few winks.” He smiled at his father. “Besides, I want to find out what is going on at the Centre. We all know they are not taking the departure of their ‘lab rat’ and the chairman’s daughter well. In dealing with the Centre it is essential -if you want to continue breathing- that we keep one step a head of them. That means knowing what they are doing in order to figure out a strategy to keep them on the wrong track as far as we’re concerned. I have an inside contact that I’ll get in touch with and find out. I hope that we can counter whatever measures they have taken. Parker is concerned that her father will be hung out to dry.”
“Jarod, at the Centre no good deed goes unpunished. How will Parker deal with it if they make her father the scapegoat?”
Jarod flopped into a chair, “Not well.”
He watched as his father sat across from him, “He is the only parent she has known since she was about ten. He has lied to her, betrayed her, and emotionally isolated her from the people who would care for her. Her father was probably been behind the death of at least two people whom she loved and loved her, and yet this one act of concern will probably wipe out all his negative acts. His crimes of brutal emotional espionage will be forgiven and shunted away to a dark corner.” Jarod slumped further into his chair.
“Your feelings for your patient run deeper than you let on. Son, all I ask is that if you put yourself between Parker and her so called family, if you force her to choose, you had better be prepared to be the one left behind.” The older man warmly clasped his son’s shoulder. “I think you need to analyze your feelings and your agenda and how you plan to achieve your goals. Then be prepared for what may be the fight of your life if your feelings for the lovely woman in that room are what I see them to be.”
Long after the Major left the kitchen Jarod remained seated at the table deep in thought. He finally headed back to the bedroom needing to initiate his plans.
He stood in the entrance way to Parker’s bedroom silently observing the reposed figure in sleep. Lying on her side with arms hugging the pillow to her, Jarod admired the profile of the face he knew so well. The shafts of moonlight through the wooden slats gave her pale face an ethereal appearance, she moaned something but did not awaken. At that moment Jarod knew he was going ahead with his plan. He would not fail, he could not fail. He needed her trust if she would ever see him as more than the Centre’s lab rat.
He moved the desk to the far corner of her room, and then tilted the pharmacy lamp down low enough to light the small space near his laptop. Glancing once more at the sleeping figure to ensure him that he hadn’t disturbed her sleep; Jarod began keying in the code to the Centre’s mainframe. He would begin with all the usual suspect files to see what was new in hell, and then contact Angelo. Contacting Angelo was the only safe way of letting Sydney know they were safe and Parker was healing physically. They still needed time; Parker was not ready to face the demons of that world. And if this world did indeed spin in Jarod’s direction, as Parker claimed, she would begin her trip with him toward gaining self-actualization.
He needed time with her; he needed time with her with his family. The islands would be the perfect setting peaceful and beautiful.
The gray dawn light was creeping through the slats when Jarod finally closed down his laptop. He leaned back in the chair and rubbed his eyes. The information he pilfered from the mainframe was not all bad. They were safe for now.
The bad news was that Parker was correct, her father had been forced underground for the whole debacle of losing Jarod and his family and disappearing with a wounded Miss Parker. Although Raines and Willie were both visiting Africa for their part in the shooting, it appeared the Centre was hunting for Mr. Parker and the pregnant Bridgette.
As far as Jarod was concerned it was only fair and he would love to personally see the arrogant Mr. Parker trying to live a life on the run just as he had forced Jarod and his family to live.
His eyes strayed to the bed and it’s occupant. How he approached this with his sleeping beauty would make all the difference in the outcome. His hopes and plans for them could shatter with a slight miscalculation in Jarod’s handling of the information and her reaction to it.
Parker always seemed to know when he was with holding information. Granted he had done it enough, but then hadn’t that been part of her problem with trust. Everybody had with held information concerning her life or those she loved, and every time she was told it was for her own safety or her own good.
If he waited until she was further along in recovering to tell her what he learned, she would claim he was back to playing mind games with her and any chance he had of regaining her trust or strengthening their bond would be gone – forever.
He slid out of his shoes to silently make his way over to the cushioned chair near the bed; he wearily lowered himself into the thick cushions and rested his head against the high back, his eyes slowly closed.
Out past the reach of your beginnings
There is a gamble in each
Proud act of flight
But the losses pale before the winnings
Circling and diving with
Freedom you’ve found
Illusion blows apart and scatters
There is no darkness in this place
That we’re bound
Love is the only thing that matters
“Icarus Ascending” -Dan Fogelberg
Major Charles turned toward the sound of the steps entering the kitchen, “So you have Sleeping Beauty all tucked in for the night?”
Jarod smiled at his father’s epithet for Parker, he knew she would have the new title with just a touch of well-seasoned stoicism sprinkled with her caustic wit. His head tilted to one side as he considered all the possible outcomes, this particular one was completely unexpected: the Major’s unequivocal acceptance of Parker.
There was the Major’s initial question when he asked if Jarod knew what he was doing, but from that point onward all the Major did was offer his support and aide in getting Parker through the surgery. Even going out of his way to offer his warmest hospitality for the woman whose job was detrimental to their well-being for the last several years.
All of this added to the sense of pride and familiar security Jarod had been reading about in Maslow’s theory. He knew he was doing the right thing by introducing Parker to this idea of what most people experience as a member of a healthy family unit. A far cry from the she had been accustomed: being part of a family that was both morally embarrassing and thoroughly corrupt. With such specimens as a mad twin, murderous step-mother and an ethically bankrupt father who used her and never gave an inkling that she was anything more to them than an instrument of their own agendas.
Jarod could feel his smile widen as he looked at his father with new eyes, seeing fully appreciating the older man’s ability to open his heart and home to both his clone as well as Jarod’s injured adversary.
“I stayed with her a bit until she was settled and asleep. She overdid it for her first day out of bed. She pushed herself to the limit. As you get to know her, you will see she is the definition of tenacious. Because of this trait I put together a special mix of a prescription cocktail for her, a little sedative combined with some pain meds. Hopefully she’ll sleep through the night.”
The Major raised his eyebrows, “Son, exactly what kind of a relationship do you have with her that makes you think she’s going to stick around when she’s healed.”
“It’s complicated. She was the first girl I ever met and my best friend. I shared my first adventures with her. The only world I knew outside of the Centre I saw through her eyes. She gave me my first kiss, and like it or not became the woman whom I measured all women against. Then her father had her sent away. It was years until we saw each other again. I didn’t recognize her, it was more than how beautiful a woman she had become; it was as though her whole persona changed.”
Jarod lowered his head as he remembered the first time he saw her in her professional attire, her high heels, her face made up. It was as if all the softness in her ace and bearing had been erased making it seem like she was made of granite.”
“Do you know what happened to her during that time, Jarod? What could have happened to have changed her so completely from the child you described?”
“I don’t know the details but Centre training must have played a significant role. The innocent gentle little girl I knew died with the same shot that killed her mother in that Centre elevator.”
The Major’s hand soothingly gripped his son’s shoulder, “That would traumatize any child, including the young boy who tried to help his best friend fright after her mother’s death. Yet, here you are a kind and forgiving man.”
“I’m not that forgiving. I haven’t always been kind to Parker. She has reasons since my escape to be angry with me. We’ve done our share of ugly things to each other. Sometimes, she told me, my actions were cruel. I always thought that a slap in the face was the best way to wake her up to what was happening around her. She needed and still needs to open her eyes to and see the lies and betrayals for what they are.” Jarod’s tone may have sounded contrite but his expression revealed nothing about his true feelings.
“But what I managed to do was further the distance between us and make her question my motives. The trust that existed in childhood was a strong bond between us that now hangs by a thread. In order to cope she has purposely shut down her emotions, not just those concerning me but life in general. It is such a loss to everyone, to those that do care for her but this brand of emotional compartmentalization is not healthy for her either.”
Jarod stopped talking, the only sound was the large kitchen wall clock ticking off the seconds. “Dad, do you know what they call her in the Centre?”
He looked at his father, concern and guilt tinted the brown orbs, “They refer to her as “The Ice Queen”.
Major Charles closed his eyes rubbing the space between them with his thumb. “From the DSAs I saw, you may have experienced the physical harsh demands of working out the Sims the Centre gave you, and in turn suffered emotionally from them.” He opened his eyes and studied his son, “What was done to Miss Parker is not recorded on any DSAs we have. It makes me wonder what she endured and how she survived the trauma of seeing her mother shot down in a place her family runs and in which she now works. I think there are still too many important details about her life that remain unknown to us. “
“That’s just it Dad, I’m not sure she survived it intact.” A wistful expression crossed Jarod’s face, “But every once in a while I catch a glimpse of the Miss Parker who was my childhood best friend. There are times like today with Jem, when that beautiful child I grew up with shines through all that protective armor”
“Jarod, why not get some rest yourself. I’ll switch rooms with you tonight. I’ll attend to Miss Parker if she needs anything during the night. You take my room and get a full night’s sleep.”
“Thanks Dad, but I need to be close in case she needs me. I think she’d feel a bit more comfortable asking me for help to the bathroom than she would you. I don’t generally sleep a lot. I’ll manage catch a few winks.” He smiled at his father. “Besides, I want to find out what is going on at the Centre. We all know they are not taking the departure of their ‘lab rat’ and the chairman’s daughter well. In dealing with the Centre it is essential -if you want to continue breathing- that we keep one step a head of them. That means knowing what they are doing in order to figure out a strategy to keep them on the wrong track as far as we’re concerned. I have an inside contact that I’ll get in touch with and find out. I hope that we can counter whatever measures they have taken. Parker is concerned that her father will be hung out to dry.”
“Jarod, at the Centre no good deed goes unpunished. How will Parker deal with it if they make her father the scapegoat?”
Jarod flopped into a chair, “Not well.”
He watched as his father sat across from him, “He is the only parent she has known since she was about ten. He has lied to her, betrayed her, and emotionally isolated her from the people who would care for her. Her father was probably been behind the death of at least two people whom she loved and loved her, and yet this one act of concern will probably wipe out all his negative acts. His crimes of brutal emotional espionage will be forgiven and shunted away to a dark corner.” Jarod slumped further into his chair.
“Your feelings for your patient run deeper than you let on. Son, all I ask is that if you put yourself between Parker and her so called family, if you force her to choose, you had better be prepared to be the one left behind.” The older man warmly clasped his son’s shoulder. “I think you need to analyze your feelings and your agenda and how you plan to achieve your goals. Then be prepared for what may be the fight of your life if your feelings for the lovely woman in that room are what I see them to be.”
Long after the Major left the kitchen Jarod remained seated at the table deep in thought. He finally headed back to the bedroom needing to initiate his plans.
He stood in the entrance way to Parker’s bedroom silently observing the reposed figure in sleep. Lying on her side with arms hugging the pillow to her, Jarod admired the profile of the face he knew so well. The shafts of moonlight through the wooden slats gave her pale face an ethereal appearance, she moaned something but did not awaken. At that moment Jarod knew he was going ahead with his plan. He would not fail, he could not fail. He needed her trust if she would ever see him as more than the Centre’s lab rat.
He moved the desk to the far corner of her room, and then tilted the pharmacy lamp down low enough to light the small space near his laptop. Glancing once more at the sleeping figure to ensure him that he hadn’t disturbed her sleep; Jarod began keying in the code to the Centre’s mainframe. He would begin with all the usual suspect files to see what was new in hell, and then contact Angelo. Contacting Angelo was the only safe way of letting Sydney know they were safe and Parker was healing physically. They still needed time; Parker was not ready to face the demons of that world. And if this world did indeed spin in Jarod’s direction, as Parker claimed, she would begin her trip with him toward gaining self-actualization.
He needed time with her; he needed time with her with his family. The islands would be the perfect setting peaceful and beautiful.
The gray dawn light was creeping through the slats when Jarod finally closed down his laptop. He leaned back in the chair and rubbed his eyes. The information he pilfered from the mainframe was not all bad. They were safe for now.
The bad news was that Parker was correct, her father had been forced underground for the whole debacle of losing Jarod and his family and disappearing with a wounded Miss Parker. Although Raines and Willie were both visiting Africa for their part in the shooting, it appeared the Centre was hunting for Mr. Parker and the pregnant Bridgette.
As far as Jarod was concerned it was only fair and he would love to personally see the arrogant Mr. Parker trying to live a life on the run just as he had forced Jarod and his family to live.
His eyes strayed to the bed and it’s occupant. How he approached this with his sleeping beauty would make all the difference in the outcome. His hopes and plans for them could shatter with a slight miscalculation in Jarod’s handling of the information and her reaction to it.
Parker always seemed to know when he was with holding information. Granted he had done it enough, but then hadn’t that been part of her problem with trust. Everybody had with held information concerning her life or those she loved, and every time she was told it was for her own safety or her own good.
If he waited until she was further along in recovering to tell her what he learned, she would claim he was back to playing mind games with her and any chance he had of regaining her trust or strengthening their bond would be gone – forever.
He slid out of his shoes to silently make his way over to the cushioned chair near the bed; he wearily lowered himself into the thick cushions and rested his head against the high back, his eyes slowly closed.
Chapter End Notes:
Have I lost everyone yet?
TBC
TBC
