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No. I still don't own this playground...
Thank you my friends that have encouraged, corrected (gently) and allowed me to bounce ideas off them.
Many thanks for the very kind reviews.
This chapter is a bit different, the pace picks up a bit.
Thank you my friends that have encouraged, corrected (gently) and allowed me to bounce ideas off them.
Many thanks for the very kind reviews.
This chapter is a bit different, the pace picks up a bit.
CHAPTER 3
And it's in your eyes
That it's all or nothing
What I can't disguise
Is that you're on to something
I let myself go, will you still want me?
Will I be enough? The fear of that haunts me
'Cause what if you walk away?
“Surprise Surprise”
She lay in the quiet room for a while before opening her eyes; she didn’t have far to search to see Jarod sitting next to the bed, slouched over intently reading a book.
“Hey”, her voice rough from sleep and a dry throat and mouth.
He quickly slid the book on to the floor beside him, moving to take her wrist, “Hey yourself, I was wondering how long you were going to sleep this time, you had a good couple of hours. That’s what you need a deep healing sleep. “Let me get you some ice to moisten your throat and mouth.”
Jarod’s return was only a few minutes later with a tall ice tea glass filled with ice chips and a long handled spoon. He leaned down to her offering the ice on the spoon, his eyes on her lips as she allowed him to spoon some of the ice into her mouth. “Better?’
“Hmm.” She swished the ice around her mouth relishing the cool moisture, and then tucked it into her cheek in her attempt to talk. “Thank you. Jarod, we need to talk.” She swallowed as the ice melted in the warm pocket of her cheek.
Jarod nodded, did a quick look at the IV, and then once again picked up her hand this time covering it with his other hand. He saw her look down at their hands but she didn’t pull it away, she waited for him.
“ I know there are answers you want, and if you are ready, maybe the easiest way would be for you to tell me what you remember. I’ll fill in the gaps as we go.”
She narrowed her eyes, swallowed again and pointed to the glass for more ice. “Okay wonder boy, we’ll do it your way. My memory is a bit vague, I remember getting to the airplane. You and Sydney were talking. And Daddy….” She took the proffered ice, with raised eyebrows as though telling him to finish.
“Yes, you came roaring onto the tarmac,” he ignored her glare and continued, “You were running yelling that you were there because someone was planning to kill your father.” He paused at her nod of agreement. “We heard the helicopter as it started toward us, you ran toward your father, I think you were attempting to push him into the plane for cover. You were shot before you got to him; your father and I caught you. He attempted to take you down to the cars for cover; the helicopter was hovering with Raines and Willie. Willie continued to shoot at us. Your father somewhat reluctantly relinquished his hold on you so I could take you into the plane with us. And here you are.”
Parker watched him with narrowing eyes as he finished his dissertation. It was too pat. She had grown up in that mad house, she knew the pressure she was under to bring Jarod back, she also knew they would easily forfeit her life to have him. “That ending sounded a bit rehearsed wonderboy. Let’s try it again from the part where my father relinquished his hold.”
Jarod frowned, his face set in a noncommittal mask.
“Come on Jarod, you are always telling me you have never lied to me. Purposely misleading me by not telling me the whole story is the same thing as lying. We have been lied to all our lives. Please don’t you do it to me now.”
He slowly exhaled, holding her hand with both of his; he gently fondled her fingers with one hand while holding tight with the other hand. “All that I told you is true. Your father stumbled down the few steps to the tarmac, blocking the stairs allowing no one to get up to us. It gave us time to get into the plane, as we were securing the hatch I took your gun and used it on Raines and his helicopter, Willie had continued to shoot at the plane hitting it several times, it was the only way to get out of there. I shot Willie. I know I hit him at least once. He was shooting with such ferocity that I’m not sure your father was the Parker they were planning on killing. My return fire was enough to allow us to get away. Your father appeared fine, he was on his feet watching as we left.”
“You left him to face Raines and the Triumvirate. They’ll make mincemeat of him, Sweeney Todd. Not only because you got away, but because you took me.”
“Sweeney Todd?” He tilted his head for just a second at the name. “Aren’t you at all concerned about your own welfare?” Jarod was exasperated at her inability to see reason.
She attempted a shrug, winced then dismissed her own life, “I always knew I was expendable. I’ve seen too much, lived that life too long not to know it.”
He gripped her hand more firmly until he could see the discomfiture in her eyes. “You are not expendable. You are not expendable to me. No life is. When we left that airport, no one was dead. Willie may be smarting for a while and miss a few target practice sessions, but that is it. You were the most injured and I was not leaving you to those vultures, you would have been nothing more than a medical guinea pig to them. I have no regrets in what I did, and if you have one sane brain cell left neither would you.”
Jarod stopped talking to look sternly into her eyes, “Your father knows their games. He has played them for years. He has survived and flourished despite all that has happened. It makes me wonder just how much he had to do with all that has happened to us and to others; because it seems that at the end of the day, it always works out to his benefit.”
He watched the emotions cross her face: anger, hurt, pain and resignation.
“Do you need more pain medication?”
“You don’t have what I need for pain.”
“Listen, I know this isn’t easy for you, but you had to have had these thoughts yourself at some point, they can’t be new to you. None of your life has come easily. Isn’t it time you experience a sense of happiness and just being alive without the shackles of being a slave to the Centre’s whims.”
Her eyes snapped at him almost in time with her words, “And you think that’s with you this sense of happiness? You have the magic beans to allow me to grow into the person you want now. Shackles are shackles Jarod.”
Jarod lowered his voice to a dangerous whisper, “There are no magic beans Miss Parker. What I am offering you, the only thing I can offer you is the time to heal physically and maybe emotionally. Take a long look around you. Look at the humanity that isn’t tied to the Centre, and see for yourself if there isn’t something better.”
He carefully laid her hand beside her and moved toward the door. Without turning he said over his shoulder, “I’ll be around if you need anything.”
Jarod waited until he was in the hallway between their rooms before he leaned again the wall and took several deep breaths. He wished it had gone better, but some of her replies gave him hope. She wasn’t totally blinded as to her so-called family and its past.
He let his head fall back against the wall a couple of times; he really didn’t want to have this snipping between them here. Jarod stood for a few minutes listening to her sounds coming from the bedroom, and felt another stab of guilt. She probably wasn’t up to this right now. But he knew she wouldn’t wait, she would want her answers as soon as she was conscious enough to hear them. In many ways they were alike. Perhaps that is why he knew her so well. Then, with a deep sigh he shook his head, he hadn’t thought to grab his book on his way out so he might as well do some exploring around this house.
Parker leaned further into the pillow; there were so many things she could have blasted him with in regards to their situation. She knew for the most part it was just the regurgitating of the poisonous stew she had been force-fed over the years that created the bitter taste on her tongue and allowed her to let those hurtful words fly at Jarod.
Losing Tommy finally opened her eyes to all of the lies. It was then she had finally begun to see her father as another mere pawn playing for power. Parker saw regret in her father’s eyes at her pain; and yet, he never showed her any sense of remorse for his direct part or for having a place in the institution that murdered the man with whom she had planned a future. There was the dark feeling that she could not shake off regarding his part in Tommy’s death. Parker also realized that if asked to do it again Mr. Parker would without a moment’s hesitation see that Tommy’s death would be sanctioned again knowing how great her pain would be from his violent loss. She knew the pain in her mother’s life; Jarod saw to it that she was aware of her mother’s misery and her father’s inattention that increased the pain in her mother’s life. He was the one that forced her to look closer and even question the duplicity of Daddy’s role in it. All to well she was becoming more and more aware of being played by Daddy, without any regard to her well-being.
She swallowed hard and decided that she would take this time Jarod bought her. Maybe it was too late to find happiness in her life but she could damn well stop being a part of the Centre’s machinations that crushed that happiness out of so many lives.
Her mind wondered back to Angelo and that of his ability to self sacrifice his own future to help the child, Davey,
“Let him be a boy.”
It remained one of those moments that would sneak up on her at night just as her mind was shutting down to sleep, keeping her awake and in misery for another half hour before finally sleeping, if she did indeed sleep at all. Parker wondered if she still possessed enough humanity to make the right decisions.
She closed her eyes, feeling very much alone in the world, she was tossing on a turbulent sea looking for a port to call her own. Someplace she could exist with the world around her without fearing that one misstep would cost her or someone she was fond of his life. Was it too late? Was the sea already tossing her little piece of shipwreck into its depths?
She listened for Jarod, maybe now was a good time to take him up on that added shot of pain meds. She had often heard it said you play the cards you are dealt. Parker thought over the last couple of days and decided she still had a couple of cards that were face down.
Jarod spent the next couple of hours exploring the house, inside and out. The size was deceptively large, roomy and airy - perfect for this subtropical climate. As he walked around the perimeter of the outside of the house he was surprised by the high humidity compared to the airport they had left in the States.
His mind took in the many new and different aspects to this place. He marveled at the construction of the house, the roof was constructed of limestone slabs with a concrete trough for a gutter through which rainwater ran through and into a pipe that filtered and funneled the water into a cistern buried along side the house. He had no idea how much time he spent climbing up the steel ladder to the top of the roof and examining the structure, or how many trips up and down he had made first for a flashlight then a measuring tape, binoculars, before he sat on the roof looking at the beautiful scenery of the sea around him and the deserted beaches below the bluff the house sat upon. His mind racing with information and scenic over load he forgot to check on Miss Parker.
As the guilt suffocated all else, he flew down the outside steps and into the house to her room. He took one look at her face and couldn’t tell how deeply he was in it, but he knew without a doubt that when she wore that ice mask displaying nothing at all but annoyed impatience he was most likely in for it. He swallowed hard and approached her.
“Are you up to a bit of broth, I’ll go heat it for you.”
“How nice to see you had a good day. Your face is sunburned.” She glared at him then dismissed him by simply looking at the floor. She hated being stuck in the same position she couldn’t even turn completely away. She hated being at his or anyone’s mercy.
“Uh, I was looking around the house. There are so many things I can’t wait to show you. Let me tell you about it when I get back with your broth.” He gave her his best smile before leaving.
Miss Parker looked at the empty spot where Jarod had stood, “I might as well be living in a leper colony.” She knew he was to far to hear her loud comment, and huffed at the wasted snipe. Whether he liked it or not her time stuck in this room and this bed were about over, she may be down for now, but she was far from out.
Jarod returned with a bowl of broth and another glass of ice as well as a small teapot and two cups. He entered smiling but one look at her expression was all it took to dissipate the smile.
“Ah, look if it isn’t the good humor man.” Parker quickly noticed his reaction to her retort; she felt no small degree of satisfaction.
“I know it isn’t easy for you to be stuck in that bed, but you have to let that shoulder mend.” He set his try down left to return with a small stool.
His butt hit no sooner hit the stool when Parker put up a hand, “If you think for one moment I’m going to lay here as you feed me and that gourmet dinner drools down by chin, you have another thing coming, buster. Get me the hell out of this bed. Now.”
Jarod stood and looking down at her, his first impulse was to leave and let her calm down, but on the other hand, he did want things to go so much differently, and if he continued play their back and forth game nothing was going to change. He had to earn her trust, and to get that far, he needed Parker to accept his presence.
“It’s going to hurt like hell getting you up.”
“I don’t care. I’m not sitting in this bed for another five minutes. I’d like to use the bathroom and at least wash my face too. It would have been nice if I could have done that, oh, about an hour and a half ago. Can you find me a robe or something that will pass for one?”
“Fine, before I agree to that let me change your bandage and check the site. If it’s healing over enough and looks as though it can take the movement without breakthrough bleeding. I’ll get you something to put on and help you over to the bathroom.” He moved the stool away and gathered the bandages had everything he needed then spread them out alongside Parker on the bed.
Jarod gently lowered the blanked and carefully removed the bandaged to look at the wound. The reddened area and the gash were not as raw looking as before, the swelling had decreased a bit so the stitches weren’t pulled as tightly as they had been. She could be up and about; in fact he really didn’t have a good reason for keeping completely immobile. He recovered the site. After applying the last of the tape, he smiled at her, “I’ll go find you something to wear.”
“That would be nice.” Her sarcasm was just barely under control; she was going to have to notch it up a bit since the planned guilt trip lasted only five minutes.
And it's in your eyes
That it's all or nothing
What I can't disguise
Is that you're on to something
I let myself go, will you still want me?
Will I be enough? The fear of that haunts me
'Cause what if you walk away?
“Surprise Surprise”
She lay in the quiet room for a while before opening her eyes; she didn’t have far to search to see Jarod sitting next to the bed, slouched over intently reading a book.
“Hey”, her voice rough from sleep and a dry throat and mouth.
He quickly slid the book on to the floor beside him, moving to take her wrist, “Hey yourself, I was wondering how long you were going to sleep this time, you had a good couple of hours. That’s what you need a deep healing sleep. “Let me get you some ice to moisten your throat and mouth.”
Jarod’s return was only a few minutes later with a tall ice tea glass filled with ice chips and a long handled spoon. He leaned down to her offering the ice on the spoon, his eyes on her lips as she allowed him to spoon some of the ice into her mouth. “Better?’
“Hmm.” She swished the ice around her mouth relishing the cool moisture, and then tucked it into her cheek in her attempt to talk. “Thank you. Jarod, we need to talk.” She swallowed as the ice melted in the warm pocket of her cheek.
Jarod nodded, did a quick look at the IV, and then once again picked up her hand this time covering it with his other hand. He saw her look down at their hands but she didn’t pull it away, she waited for him.
“ I know there are answers you want, and if you are ready, maybe the easiest way would be for you to tell me what you remember. I’ll fill in the gaps as we go.”
She narrowed her eyes, swallowed again and pointed to the glass for more ice. “Okay wonder boy, we’ll do it your way. My memory is a bit vague, I remember getting to the airplane. You and Sydney were talking. And Daddy….” She took the proffered ice, with raised eyebrows as though telling him to finish.
“Yes, you came roaring onto the tarmac,” he ignored her glare and continued, “You were running yelling that you were there because someone was planning to kill your father.” He paused at her nod of agreement. “We heard the helicopter as it started toward us, you ran toward your father, I think you were attempting to push him into the plane for cover. You were shot before you got to him; your father and I caught you. He attempted to take you down to the cars for cover; the helicopter was hovering with Raines and Willie. Willie continued to shoot at us. Your father somewhat reluctantly relinquished his hold on you so I could take you into the plane with us. And here you are.”
Parker watched him with narrowing eyes as he finished his dissertation. It was too pat. She had grown up in that mad house, she knew the pressure she was under to bring Jarod back, she also knew they would easily forfeit her life to have him. “That ending sounded a bit rehearsed wonderboy. Let’s try it again from the part where my father relinquished his hold.”
Jarod frowned, his face set in a noncommittal mask.
“Come on Jarod, you are always telling me you have never lied to me. Purposely misleading me by not telling me the whole story is the same thing as lying. We have been lied to all our lives. Please don’t you do it to me now.”
He slowly exhaled, holding her hand with both of his; he gently fondled her fingers with one hand while holding tight with the other hand. “All that I told you is true. Your father stumbled down the few steps to the tarmac, blocking the stairs allowing no one to get up to us. It gave us time to get into the plane, as we were securing the hatch I took your gun and used it on Raines and his helicopter, Willie had continued to shoot at the plane hitting it several times, it was the only way to get out of there. I shot Willie. I know I hit him at least once. He was shooting with such ferocity that I’m not sure your father was the Parker they were planning on killing. My return fire was enough to allow us to get away. Your father appeared fine, he was on his feet watching as we left.”
“You left him to face Raines and the Triumvirate. They’ll make mincemeat of him, Sweeney Todd. Not only because you got away, but because you took me.”
“Sweeney Todd?” He tilted his head for just a second at the name. “Aren’t you at all concerned about your own welfare?” Jarod was exasperated at her inability to see reason.
She attempted a shrug, winced then dismissed her own life, “I always knew I was expendable. I’ve seen too much, lived that life too long not to know it.”
He gripped her hand more firmly until he could see the discomfiture in her eyes. “You are not expendable. You are not expendable to me. No life is. When we left that airport, no one was dead. Willie may be smarting for a while and miss a few target practice sessions, but that is it. You were the most injured and I was not leaving you to those vultures, you would have been nothing more than a medical guinea pig to them. I have no regrets in what I did, and if you have one sane brain cell left neither would you.”
Jarod stopped talking to look sternly into her eyes, “Your father knows their games. He has played them for years. He has survived and flourished despite all that has happened. It makes me wonder just how much he had to do with all that has happened to us and to others; because it seems that at the end of the day, it always works out to his benefit.”
He watched the emotions cross her face: anger, hurt, pain and resignation.
“Do you need more pain medication?”
“You don’t have what I need for pain.”
“Listen, I know this isn’t easy for you, but you had to have had these thoughts yourself at some point, they can’t be new to you. None of your life has come easily. Isn’t it time you experience a sense of happiness and just being alive without the shackles of being a slave to the Centre’s whims.”
Her eyes snapped at him almost in time with her words, “And you think that’s with you this sense of happiness? You have the magic beans to allow me to grow into the person you want now. Shackles are shackles Jarod.”
Jarod lowered his voice to a dangerous whisper, “There are no magic beans Miss Parker. What I am offering you, the only thing I can offer you is the time to heal physically and maybe emotionally. Take a long look around you. Look at the humanity that isn’t tied to the Centre, and see for yourself if there isn’t something better.”
He carefully laid her hand beside her and moved toward the door. Without turning he said over his shoulder, “I’ll be around if you need anything.”
Jarod waited until he was in the hallway between their rooms before he leaned again the wall and took several deep breaths. He wished it had gone better, but some of her replies gave him hope. She wasn’t totally blinded as to her so-called family and its past.
He let his head fall back against the wall a couple of times; he really didn’t want to have this snipping between them here. Jarod stood for a few minutes listening to her sounds coming from the bedroom, and felt another stab of guilt. She probably wasn’t up to this right now. But he knew she wouldn’t wait, she would want her answers as soon as she was conscious enough to hear them. In many ways they were alike. Perhaps that is why he knew her so well. Then, with a deep sigh he shook his head, he hadn’t thought to grab his book on his way out so he might as well do some exploring around this house.
Parker leaned further into the pillow; there were so many things she could have blasted him with in regards to their situation. She knew for the most part it was just the regurgitating of the poisonous stew she had been force-fed over the years that created the bitter taste on her tongue and allowed her to let those hurtful words fly at Jarod.
Losing Tommy finally opened her eyes to all of the lies. It was then she had finally begun to see her father as another mere pawn playing for power. Parker saw regret in her father’s eyes at her pain; and yet, he never showed her any sense of remorse for his direct part or for having a place in the institution that murdered the man with whom she had planned a future. There was the dark feeling that she could not shake off regarding his part in Tommy’s death. Parker also realized that if asked to do it again Mr. Parker would without a moment’s hesitation see that Tommy’s death would be sanctioned again knowing how great her pain would be from his violent loss. She knew the pain in her mother’s life; Jarod saw to it that she was aware of her mother’s misery and her father’s inattention that increased the pain in her mother’s life. He was the one that forced her to look closer and even question the duplicity of Daddy’s role in it. All to well she was becoming more and more aware of being played by Daddy, without any regard to her well-being.
She swallowed hard and decided that she would take this time Jarod bought her. Maybe it was too late to find happiness in her life but she could damn well stop being a part of the Centre’s machinations that crushed that happiness out of so many lives.
Her mind wondered back to Angelo and that of his ability to self sacrifice his own future to help the child, Davey,
“Let him be a boy.”
It remained one of those moments that would sneak up on her at night just as her mind was shutting down to sleep, keeping her awake and in misery for another half hour before finally sleeping, if she did indeed sleep at all. Parker wondered if she still possessed enough humanity to make the right decisions.
She closed her eyes, feeling very much alone in the world, she was tossing on a turbulent sea looking for a port to call her own. Someplace she could exist with the world around her without fearing that one misstep would cost her or someone she was fond of his life. Was it too late? Was the sea already tossing her little piece of shipwreck into its depths?
She listened for Jarod, maybe now was a good time to take him up on that added shot of pain meds. She had often heard it said you play the cards you are dealt. Parker thought over the last couple of days and decided she still had a couple of cards that were face down.
Jarod spent the next couple of hours exploring the house, inside and out. The size was deceptively large, roomy and airy - perfect for this subtropical climate. As he walked around the perimeter of the outside of the house he was surprised by the high humidity compared to the airport they had left in the States.
His mind took in the many new and different aspects to this place. He marveled at the construction of the house, the roof was constructed of limestone slabs with a concrete trough for a gutter through which rainwater ran through and into a pipe that filtered and funneled the water into a cistern buried along side the house. He had no idea how much time he spent climbing up the steel ladder to the top of the roof and examining the structure, or how many trips up and down he had made first for a flashlight then a measuring tape, binoculars, before he sat on the roof looking at the beautiful scenery of the sea around him and the deserted beaches below the bluff the house sat upon. His mind racing with information and scenic over load he forgot to check on Miss Parker.
As the guilt suffocated all else, he flew down the outside steps and into the house to her room. He took one look at her face and couldn’t tell how deeply he was in it, but he knew without a doubt that when she wore that ice mask displaying nothing at all but annoyed impatience he was most likely in for it. He swallowed hard and approached her.
“Are you up to a bit of broth, I’ll go heat it for you.”
“How nice to see you had a good day. Your face is sunburned.” She glared at him then dismissed him by simply looking at the floor. She hated being stuck in the same position she couldn’t even turn completely away. She hated being at his or anyone’s mercy.
“Uh, I was looking around the house. There are so many things I can’t wait to show you. Let me tell you about it when I get back with your broth.” He gave her his best smile before leaving.
Miss Parker looked at the empty spot where Jarod had stood, “I might as well be living in a leper colony.” She knew he was to far to hear her loud comment, and huffed at the wasted snipe. Whether he liked it or not her time stuck in this room and this bed were about over, she may be down for now, but she was far from out.
Jarod returned with a bowl of broth and another glass of ice as well as a small teapot and two cups. He entered smiling but one look at her expression was all it took to dissipate the smile.
“Ah, look if it isn’t the good humor man.” Parker quickly noticed his reaction to her retort; she felt no small degree of satisfaction.
“I know it isn’t easy for you to be stuck in that bed, but you have to let that shoulder mend.” He set his try down left to return with a small stool.
His butt hit no sooner hit the stool when Parker put up a hand, “If you think for one moment I’m going to lay here as you feed me and that gourmet dinner drools down by chin, you have another thing coming, buster. Get me the hell out of this bed. Now.”
Jarod stood and looking down at her, his first impulse was to leave and let her calm down, but on the other hand, he did want things to go so much differently, and if he continued play their back and forth game nothing was going to change. He had to earn her trust, and to get that far, he needed Parker to accept his presence.
“It’s going to hurt like hell getting you up.”
“I don’t care. I’m not sitting in this bed for another five minutes. I’d like to use the bathroom and at least wash my face too. It would have been nice if I could have done that, oh, about an hour and a half ago. Can you find me a robe or something that will pass for one?”
“Fine, before I agree to that let me change your bandage and check the site. If it’s healing over enough and looks as though it can take the movement without breakthrough bleeding. I’ll get you something to put on and help you over to the bathroom.” He moved the stool away and gathered the bandages had everything he needed then spread them out alongside Parker on the bed.
Jarod gently lowered the blanked and carefully removed the bandaged to look at the wound. The reddened area and the gash were not as raw looking as before, the swelling had decreased a bit so the stitches weren’t pulled as tightly as they had been. She could be up and about; in fact he really didn’t have a good reason for keeping completely immobile. He recovered the site. After applying the last of the tape, he smiled at her, “I’ll go find you something to wear.”
“That would be nice.” Her sarcasm was just barely under control; she was going to have to notch it up a bit since the planned guilt trip lasted only five minutes.
Chapter End Notes:
TBC. The next chapter will take a bit longer to get posted.
