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Story Notes:
Jacs, thanks for inspiring me to reach for the stars. To stretch my writing skills which have remained dormant for so long, ones that I thought I would never exercise again. Your brillance as a writer is so inspiring, that while I can never match your story, "Test Story", I hope my story will in some small way reflect yor influence on me. I hope you don't mind that I used the following quotes from your story:
"Just want to see if this works", "hey hey", "testing as admin" and "It isn't easy."
You are my inspiration, my heroine, I am forever in your debt.
"Just want to see if this works", "hey hey", "testing as admin" and "It isn't easy."
You are my inspiration, my heroine, I am forever in your debt.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Jacs, thanks for inspiring me to reach for the stars. To stretch my writing skills which have remained dormant for so long, ones that I thought I would never exercise again. Your brillance as a writer is so inspiring, that while I can never match your story, "Test Story", I hope my story will in some small way reflect yor influence on me. I hope you don't mind that I used the following quotes from your story:
"Just want to see if this works", "hey hey", "testing as admin" and "It isn't easy."
You are my inspiration, my heroine, I am forever in your debt.
And to Crackerjacnpez and my fellow 'shippers, enjoy!
"Just want to see if this works", "hey hey", "testing as admin" and "It isn't easy."
You are my inspiration, my heroine, I am forever in your debt.
And to Crackerjacnpez and my fellow 'shippers, enjoy!
"It isn't easy." She said softly as she laid on her side with her head propped up on the pillows looking at him. He was on his side facing her, his left elbow pressed into the pillow with his head supported by his left hand. The forefinger of his right hand traced her naked body from her shoulder to the curve of her thigh and back again. His eyes had a absent mind look in them, his strong muscular body might be lying beside her in bed but mentally he was some place else.
"I said it isn't easy to love you Jarod." Her voice louder and more firm this time.
"Huh?" He looked up at her briefly, the morning light filtering in through the bedroom window showcased his naked body. "What did you say?"
"I said, it isn't easy to love you Jarod." She repeated. "I never know when you'll show up or where you are. I don't know if you're hurt or dead. I don't know..." Her voice drifted off as she watched his eyes take on the distance look he had had earlier.
"Testing one, two, three. Testing, testing." She said without any response from him. "Testing as admin, testing. Earth to Jarod. Zoe to Jarod. Hello? Anyone home?" He looked at her and then down at her stomach as he slid his hand over her belly. In the past few years since her cancer had gone into remission, she had put on weight. Last time he was there it was a cute feminine belly now it was...
"I know I've packed on a few pounds since you last saw me. I hope you don't think I'm too fat." Biting her lower lip she searched his face.
"No, I wouldn't say you're fat." Jarod lied as he cupped her belly with his hand. "Just well rounded. Like a beautifully scuplted piece of art." His smile was faint. He thought back to Miss Parker, comparing her to Zoe wasn't fair. Zoe was everything Miss Parker wasn't and he often wondered if that was what had drawn him to her. Miss Parker was too much in control to ever 'pack on a few pounds.'
He thought about her silhouette behind the screen on Carthis. Long, lean, gracefully desirable and it left a longing in him he had to satisfy. There was only place he could think to go after his escape from the plane and that was Zoe's. Here he was safe, he could try to quench some of the thirst he felt. Not completely, Zoe was far from being a substitute for Miss Parker but still he needed some release.
He pushed Zoe on her back and her legs spread apart allowing him easy access as he found himself on top of her. His thrusts were rhythmic and measured at first but soon increased with intensity and force as he 'pretended' the woman beneath him was the woman he saw behind the screen. He could smell her perfume, feel the softness of her skin. He was on the verge of calling out her name when he heard a woman's voice...
"Hey, hey! Damn it Jarod, you're hurting me. Stop!" Zoe's voice was screaming in his ear. The moment was shattered and he rolled off of her onto his back beside her.
"Damn it Jarod! What's wrong with you? You've never been this rough before." Zoe sat up and grabbed the top sheet as she climbed out of bed, wrapped it around her and headed for the bathroom, tears in her eyes.
"I'm sorry." Jarod called after her and covered his eyes with his arms. "I'm sorry."
"You dam well better be sorry!" She choked back as she slammed the bathroom door behind her.
Two women so different, maybe that was why he had fallen in love with Zoe. She was funny, light hearted and warm. Miss Parker was serious, deadly serious at times and always in control. A necessary part of her persona in order to survive at the Centre. Her heart was heavy and clouded and while she pretended not to care, he knew she did. She couldn't show it if she wanted to stay alive. Centre survival skills defined Miss Parker who was anything but what society considered 'normal'.
Zoe on the other hand was 'normal', something he had found comforting at first. It was something he had wanted but now he wasn't so sure. He was finding her normal life dull and routine. While she wasn't a genius, she was intelligent enough not to be boring. Just not enough to keep his interest at times. He heard the door open and her footsteps on the floor as she came in his direction.
"I'm sorry. Are you OK?" He asked as he sat up swinging his legs over the side of the bed.
"I'm OK." Clutching the sheet around her, she made her way back to her side of the bed. "It's just not like you to be so rough. I don't understand, are you doing this because you just want to see if this works? If it turns me on or something?"
"It's just been a long time, that's all." Standing up he headed for the bathroom. It was a lie but better that then the truth, that his feelings for Miss Parker had left him with a raw animal like desire. This was one time the truth was not going to set him or anyone else free. All it would accomplish would be to hurt Zoe and he didn't want that. He walked into the bathroom, closed the door behind him and headed for the shower. It was going to take more then a cold shower to cool his desire. Being with her in Carthis had shattered the barrier between them, even a blind woman could see through his transparent attempts to hide the truth of how he felt about Miss Parker.
Zoe heard Jarod turn on the shower and moved over to his belongings. Picking up his cell phone she looked at his speed dial. Number two was Miss Parker, a name she had heard before and she had a vague idea of what the woman looked like. She had seen her on one of Jarod's DSAs late one night a year before. She had woken up around three in the morning and found him sitting at the desk watching the screen on his silver case. Looking over his shoulder she had asked him who the woman was. He had turned it off and told her it was no one she needed to worry about. Just another person from the Centre who was chasing him.
"Strange Jarod, that you keep the phone number of some one who is your enemy on your speed dial." Zoe shook her head and put the cell phone back with his things. Pulling out the silver DSA case she slipped a DSA into the player and watched as the woman on the screen stood with her arms crossed across her chest. Lyle came into view and Zoe shivered as she remember the man without a thumb who had used her for bait to catch Jarod.
"Look sis, we need to stick together on this if we want to keep our heads." Lyle said to the woman.
"Lyle is right Miss Parker. We need to agree on a story for the Triumvirate if we want to stay alive." A man with a oxygen tank said to her.
Zoe looked at the bathroom door. "I don't understand Jarod, what connection do you have with this woman who is the sister of a man who will do anything to catch you?"
She turned her attention back to the small screen when she heard the woman's voice speak Jarod's name.
"So we're going to blame this on Jarod?"
Zoe looked at her closely. Either the men were blind or maybe because she was a woman, Zoe could see Miss Parker was trying hard to hide her feelings for Jarod. With a sigh she turned off the screen, removed the DSA, closed the case and returned it to it's place. She had seen enough.
She sat cross legged in the middle of the bed, pulled the sheet around her and waited. Jarod soon opened the door and came out fully dressed.
"I have to go." It was all he said as he picked up his belongings and headed out of the bedroom.
"Jarod, wait!" She jumped up from the bed with the sheet still around her and followed him into the living room where he stood by the front door. "Where will you go?"
"I don't know." He slipped his sunglasses on and turned his back to her.
"When will you be back?" Biting her lower lip she waited for a answer.
"I don't know." His hand was on the door knob turning it.
"Do you love her?"
His shoulders dropped and his body language changed.
"I asked, do you love her?" She wanted to see his eyes, to look in them when he answered. But when he turned his sunglasses reflected her reflection and hid his eyes from her. She studied his face, this wasn't the same man she had met years before. The carefree, light hearted man with the easy smile was gone. Standing before her was a man who looked like the Jarod she once knew but the lines in his face had deepened and he looked weary. There were other changes she couldn't pin down, only feel.
"I asked, do you love her?" Repeating her question she studied his face waiting for a answer.
"Lock the door after I leave." He opened it and walked out. She stood by the open door and watched as he got into his rental car and drove away. Closing the door she knew the answer.
"I said it isn't easy to love you Jarod." Her voice louder and more firm this time.
"Huh?" He looked up at her briefly, the morning light filtering in through the bedroom window showcased his naked body. "What did you say?"
"I said, it isn't easy to love you Jarod." She repeated. "I never know when you'll show up or where you are. I don't know if you're hurt or dead. I don't know..." Her voice drifted off as she watched his eyes take on the distance look he had had earlier.
"Testing one, two, three. Testing, testing." She said without any response from him. "Testing as admin, testing. Earth to Jarod. Zoe to Jarod. Hello? Anyone home?" He looked at her and then down at her stomach as he slid his hand over her belly. In the past few years since her cancer had gone into remission, she had put on weight. Last time he was there it was a cute feminine belly now it was...
"I know I've packed on a few pounds since you last saw me. I hope you don't think I'm too fat." Biting her lower lip she searched his face.
"No, I wouldn't say you're fat." Jarod lied as he cupped her belly with his hand. "Just well rounded. Like a beautifully scuplted piece of art." His smile was faint. He thought back to Miss Parker, comparing her to Zoe wasn't fair. Zoe was everything Miss Parker wasn't and he often wondered if that was what had drawn him to her. Miss Parker was too much in control to ever 'pack on a few pounds.'
He thought about her silhouette behind the screen on Carthis. Long, lean, gracefully desirable and it left a longing in him he had to satisfy. There was only place he could think to go after his escape from the plane and that was Zoe's. Here he was safe, he could try to quench some of the thirst he felt. Not completely, Zoe was far from being a substitute for Miss Parker but still he needed some release.
He pushed Zoe on her back and her legs spread apart allowing him easy access as he found himself on top of her. His thrusts were rhythmic and measured at first but soon increased with intensity and force as he 'pretended' the woman beneath him was the woman he saw behind the screen. He could smell her perfume, feel the softness of her skin. He was on the verge of calling out her name when he heard a woman's voice...
"Hey, hey! Damn it Jarod, you're hurting me. Stop!" Zoe's voice was screaming in his ear. The moment was shattered and he rolled off of her onto his back beside her.
"Damn it Jarod! What's wrong with you? You've never been this rough before." Zoe sat up and grabbed the top sheet as she climbed out of bed, wrapped it around her and headed for the bathroom, tears in her eyes.
"I'm sorry." Jarod called after her and covered his eyes with his arms. "I'm sorry."
"You dam well better be sorry!" She choked back as she slammed the bathroom door behind her.
Two women so different, maybe that was why he had fallen in love with Zoe. She was funny, light hearted and warm. Miss Parker was serious, deadly serious at times and always in control. A necessary part of her persona in order to survive at the Centre. Her heart was heavy and clouded and while she pretended not to care, he knew she did. She couldn't show it if she wanted to stay alive. Centre survival skills defined Miss Parker who was anything but what society considered 'normal'.
Zoe on the other hand was 'normal', something he had found comforting at first. It was something he had wanted but now he wasn't so sure. He was finding her normal life dull and routine. While she wasn't a genius, she was intelligent enough not to be boring. Just not enough to keep his interest at times. He heard the door open and her footsteps on the floor as she came in his direction.
"I'm sorry. Are you OK?" He asked as he sat up swinging his legs over the side of the bed.
"I'm OK." Clutching the sheet around her, she made her way back to her side of the bed. "It's just not like you to be so rough. I don't understand, are you doing this because you just want to see if this works? If it turns me on or something?"
"It's just been a long time, that's all." Standing up he headed for the bathroom. It was a lie but better that then the truth, that his feelings for Miss Parker had left him with a raw animal like desire. This was one time the truth was not going to set him or anyone else free. All it would accomplish would be to hurt Zoe and he didn't want that. He walked into the bathroom, closed the door behind him and headed for the shower. It was going to take more then a cold shower to cool his desire. Being with her in Carthis had shattered the barrier between them, even a blind woman could see through his transparent attempts to hide the truth of how he felt about Miss Parker.
Zoe heard Jarod turn on the shower and moved over to his belongings. Picking up his cell phone she looked at his speed dial. Number two was Miss Parker, a name she had heard before and she had a vague idea of what the woman looked like. She had seen her on one of Jarod's DSAs late one night a year before. She had woken up around three in the morning and found him sitting at the desk watching the screen on his silver case. Looking over his shoulder she had asked him who the woman was. He had turned it off and told her it was no one she needed to worry about. Just another person from the Centre who was chasing him.
"Strange Jarod, that you keep the phone number of some one who is your enemy on your speed dial." Zoe shook her head and put the cell phone back with his things. Pulling out the silver DSA case she slipped a DSA into the player and watched as the woman on the screen stood with her arms crossed across her chest. Lyle came into view and Zoe shivered as she remember the man without a thumb who had used her for bait to catch Jarod.
"Look sis, we need to stick together on this if we want to keep our heads." Lyle said to the woman.
"Lyle is right Miss Parker. We need to agree on a story for the Triumvirate if we want to stay alive." A man with a oxygen tank said to her.
Zoe looked at the bathroom door. "I don't understand Jarod, what connection do you have with this woman who is the sister of a man who will do anything to catch you?"
She turned her attention back to the small screen when she heard the woman's voice speak Jarod's name.
"So we're going to blame this on Jarod?"
Zoe looked at her closely. Either the men were blind or maybe because she was a woman, Zoe could see Miss Parker was trying hard to hide her feelings for Jarod. With a sigh she turned off the screen, removed the DSA, closed the case and returned it to it's place. She had seen enough.
She sat cross legged in the middle of the bed, pulled the sheet around her and waited. Jarod soon opened the door and came out fully dressed.
"I have to go." It was all he said as he picked up his belongings and headed out of the bedroom.
"Jarod, wait!" She jumped up from the bed with the sheet still around her and followed him into the living room where he stood by the front door. "Where will you go?"
"I don't know." He slipped his sunglasses on and turned his back to her.
"When will you be back?" Biting her lower lip she waited for a answer.
"I don't know." His hand was on the door knob turning it.
"Do you love her?"
His shoulders dropped and his body language changed.
"I asked, do you love her?" She wanted to see his eyes, to look in them when he answered. But when he turned his sunglasses reflected her reflection and hid his eyes from her. She studied his face, this wasn't the same man she had met years before. The carefree, light hearted man with the easy smile was gone. Standing before her was a man who looked like the Jarod she once knew but the lines in his face had deepened and he looked weary. There were other changes she couldn't pin down, only feel.
"I asked, do you love her?" Repeating her question she studied his face waiting for a answer.
"Lock the door after I leave." He opened it and walked out. She stood by the open door and watched as he got into his rental car and drove away. Closing the door she knew the answer.
