Table of Contents [Report This]
~Part 1
by Brynna and Trixie
Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this fan fiction belong to NBC and any other copyright holders. No infringement is intended.
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Taking a deep drag off her cigarette, Miss Parker sighs, climbing out of her car. She looks around and shivers a little, the dark alley providing back access to her hotel room seeming much more foreboding than it had earlier. Shaking her head, ignoring the odd feeling in the pit of her stomach, like usual, she heads down the fifteen feet of darkness to the back entrance to the building. Five feet. Ten. Twelve . . . a hand, gloved, reaches out and grabs her, covering her mouth. Another hand grabs her gun from the back waist of her pants, holding it against her temple.
“Just keep your fucking mouth shut and don’t struggle.” A menacing male voice invades her head as she tries to fight. One of the hands grabs her flailing wrist and snaps a handcuff around it. She flings her arm back, and the free end of the cuffs swings, the sound of metal making contact with flesh echoing in the alley.
You stupid bitch.” Another mans voice, this one in pain. He lifts the gun and backhands her across the face with it, drawing blood, and immobilizing her long enough to snap the cuff around her other wrist, behind her back. “You’re gonna pay for that shit, you fucking bitch.” He growls in her ear, all the while trying to tie a piece of cloth over her mouth. Defiantly, she keeps her mouth shut and turns her head from side to side. The first man grabs her hair, pulling it sharply back, forcing her to open her mouth, crying out in pain. The second man forces the cloth into her mouth and ties it behind her head. He swings the gun down again, this time knocking her out.
Hefting Miss Parker’s limp body over his shoulder, the first man tosses her keys to his partner and heads to her rental car, tossing her body in the trunk before climbing into the front seat and driving away, both of them laughing.
~~~~
‘Where the hell am I?’ The question echoes through Miss Parker’s head, as she can’t ask it out loud, thanks to the gag. As she tries, unsuccessfully, to lift her head, hitting it on the roof of the trunk, a sharp pain shoots from her wrists up to the back of her neck. She lays her head back down and curls into as tight of a ball as she can, sobbing.
~~~~~
Stopping the car outside an abandoned mansion in the middle of nowhere, after a good hour of driving, the men jump out, and the one with Miss Parker’s gun heads around to the trunk. “Hey Mick, should we just leave her in here ‘til we’re done up there?” Mick shakes his head, walking to the house. “Nope. Bring the bitch on in Ryan.”
Ryan opens the trunk, shining a flashlight in at Miss Parker. She quints against the lights, jarring her wrists by trying to bring her hands up to cover her face. “Get the fuck up.” Ryan almost screams at her, leveling the gun at her head. She stares at him defiantly, daring him to shoot her. He moves the gun down, aiming it at her arm, at the shoulder. “Oh, I’ll shoot, you, I just won’t kill you. Now get up.”
Miss Parker struggles to sit up, and fails a few times, falling back against the floor of the trunk. Ryan sighs exasperatedly and grabs one of her arms, roughly pulling her out of the car, causing her to scream in pain behind the gag. She stumbles to her feet, and he places the gun between her shoulder blades, forcing her towards the house.
Inside the house, Mick has set up a few small, battery-powered lights, around a bed. There are a couple of chairs to one side, and a small table with a few items Miss Parker can’t make out. She swallows deeply behind the gag, knowing full well what they want from her. Or, more to the point, to do to her. Mick stands up and roughly grabs her, tossing her onto the bed.
“I can tell you’re not totally stupid,” he rasps into her ear from behind her. “You know exactly what’s going on, don’t you?” her silence and non movement answer him as loudly as if she were speaking. “Well, bitch, if you don’t fight us it’ll be a lot better for you. Of course, a little fighting, only a little, mind you, will make it better for us.”
Ryan moves around the bed, sitting next to her on her other side. He runs his hand down her side, taking out a knife and quickly slicing through her shirt material on her arm. “Oh I’m looking forward to this.” He mutters, cutting through the other shirt arm. He cuts down the front of her shirt, taking the front of her bra with it.
Mick sits her up roughly, and grabs hold of both her arms in a tight grasp. He nods at the cuffs, waiting for Ryan to undo one, then forcing her back down, pulling her arms above her head, cuffing her back to the head of the bed. “It’s more fun like this.” He smiles sadistically and takes out his own knife, helping Ryan cut the rest of her clothes away. Slice. The neck of her shirt and strap of her bra. It falls away from her body, leaving her naked from the waist up. Tears fall silently down her cheeks from behind her tightly shut eyes. Slice. The leg of her pants, from ankle to thigh. Slice. From waist to the top of the last cut, the side of her panties going with it. She kicks her legs a few times, but only succeeds in uncovering her body faster.
She stops, and Mick grabs one of her ankles, tying it down to the foot of the bed with a strip of cloth from her shirt. Ryan does the same, securing her now completely naked body to the bed. Another strip of cloth is placed over her eyes, making a blindfold.
Cast into total darkness, naked, terrified, Miss Parker lets her tears flow, simply soaking her makeshift blindfold. She forces her mind elsewhere as she feels the bed shifting again, one of them moving over her body. Her mind grasps for any image, and piece of something to keep her sane, to keep from screaming and fighting. The only thing she can find inside her head to stay concentrated on is Jarod. Not the Jarod that she’s chasing, but the young Jarod, her best friend. ‘Oh god Jarod, please, help me.’
‘It’s okay.’ a voice murmurs in her head. His voice. ‘You’ll be okay. you’re strong, you’ll live through this, and you’ll survive it.’
‘I’m so scared Jarod. How can I survive this? Why are they doing this to me, why are they hurting me?’ More tears flow from her eyes.
‘I don’t know.’ He whispers to her. ‘But don’t think about it. Think about something else. Think about the bunnies.’
The bed shifts again, and Miss Parker throws her mind deeper into anything she can. ‘The bunnies . . . I still have the one you gave me. I love that bunny.’
‘I know. You’ll be okay, and you’ll see your bunny again.’ his voice is soothing, soft. ‘Just hang on.’
‘I’m trying Jarod. Help me.’ A pain shoots in her arm for a brief moment, something being injected into her. ‘Help me . . .’ she slips into total darkness.
~~~~~
After about thirty-six hours, Miss Parker comes to, sitting in her rental car, a t-shirt and pair of sweat pants on her body, next to the side of a small dirt road. She blinks, looking around, and shivers violently, wrapping her arms around her body. She looks all around, seeing nothing but mountains and fields, and catching a glimpse of her reflection in the rearview mirror.
Her lips are bruised, her lower split, her left eye black and slightly swollen. Her wrists are red and swollen, and her ankles hurt. Her breasts, she can tell without looking, are bruised, the light touch of the material hurting them. And . . . she shakes her head, refusing to think any more. Her eyes focus on a small piece of paper next to her on the seat. ‘Had a great weekend, thanks Bitch.’ Reaching a hand out shakily, she tears up the note, letting out a scream. Well, what passes for a scream, her throat so dry from days with no water the sound is roughened and restrained. Tears stream down her face and she lays down on the seat, curling into a tight ball, ignoring the pain in her body, letting out gut-wrenching sobs.
~~~~~
Unable to cry anymore, Miss Parker sits up, looking at the now-setting sun. She stares at it, trying to find a way to make her mind focus. It takes hours, but she finally gets the answers in her head she needs. Turning the key in the ignition, she turns the car onto the road and drives, hoping to run into a city with an airport.
~~~~~
The next morning, finding an airport, Miss Parker books herself on a one-way flight to Maui, first class. Her mind keeps one thought in the forefront. ‘I’ve always wanted to just sit on the beach, in Maui, where there are no hotels, no people, and watch the sun just rise and set for days, doing nothing.’ Why Jarod had told her that, she didn’t know. But that’s where she was
heading. Boarding’s called for her flight, and she slowly stands, ignoring the looks she’s getting from everyone around her. She gets settled in her first class seat, and turns her head towards the window, a blanket over her body, trying to make the flight
attendants leave her alone.
~~~~~
Landing in Maui, Miss Parker heads to the rental car agency, having read everything she had been able to find about the island while on the plane, knowing exactly where she’s heading. Biting back tears for the hundredth time, seeing a man anywhere near her, she gets her car and practically runs, getting in and driving away as fast as she can. She drives for a little over an hour, finding the beach she was looking for. She pulls the car off the side of the road and climbs out slowly, walking rather gingerly towards a small hut built on the beach. She walks up to the door and opens it, peering inside. “Jarod?” she calls out softly, in
a pained voice.
Jarod freezes from just outside the back of the hut. He’d been about to run. And then he’d heard the sound of her voice. Suddenly, the bad feeling he’d had for the last three days got worse. He drops the bag with the DSA’s and walks inside. His mouth opens a little and he feels a very unpleasant shudder run through his body when he sees her. He slowly walks up to
her, standing in front of her, moving his hands to touch her, then stopping, letting them fall to his sides. “Miss Parker?” he asks in the softest, gentlest of tones.
Miss Parker shuts her eyes, trying to control her body’s shaking from his close proximity. “Jarod,” she whispers almost inaudibly. “Oh thank god.” Without turning around to look at him, she sinks to her knees, wrapping her arms around them, still shaking a little.
Jarod slowly sinks down to his knees in front of her. “Miss Parker what happened?” he asks softly, slowly. He flexes his hands back and forth, trying to keep from touching her. He shuts his eyes and grits his teeth a little. “Who did this to you?” he asks in a voice that still remains soft, but is tighter, rougher.
Shaking her head, Miss Parker stares at the wall about a foot to her left. “Oh god. They . . . Jarod, they said it was my fault. They can’t have been right, can they?” her voice is shaky, her eyes full of tears. “Please tell me it wasn’t my fault.” she begs
brokenly.
“It wasn’t your fault,” he promises in a voice used to calm small, scared children, or frightened, wounded animals. “What they did to you wasn’t your fault. I swear to you Melina,” he whispers. “It wasn’t your fault,” he says firmly.
Miss Parker nods, her arms tightening around her knees. “Why? Why did they . . .” she breaks off, finally looking at him. “I had to come find you. You kept me . . . sane, alive. You’re voice, in my head, it kept me from trying to fight them. They would have
killed me.”
Jarod takes a deep breath. “I’m glad,” he clears his throat, forcing his voice to be steady. “I’m glad I could help you,” he whispers. “How long. . . How long has it been?” he asks carefully, knowing full well he knew her exact location a week ago.
Miss Parker shrugs. “Three or four days. I got knocked out for a while.” Some tears run down her face. “They . . . knocked me unconscious before they got me in the car, I don’t know how long I was out, but not too long, I think. And then
after . . . hours, they injected me with something. I came to by the road in the car, like nothing had happened.”
“But something did happen,” he whispers. He looks around the room for a moment, then back at her. “Melina. . . Can I. . . can I touch you long enough to help you up and get you in a bath?” he asks softly, still speaking in an almost whisper.
Miss Parker bites her lip, and cringes at the pain. “I . . . I don’t know.” she whispers. She glances up at him, then down at her hands. “I just don’t know. No one’s . . . no one’s touched me . . . I trust you, but . . .”
Jarod holds a hand up. “It’s okay,” he whispers. He stands up and walks over to a large claw foot tub on the other side of the one room hut. He flips on the hot water, and slowly walks over to her. He holds out his hand. “Your choice,” he tells her softly.
Miss Parker tentatively reaches her hand out to his, her fingers brushing his, then pulling back as if she had been burned. “I’m sorry.” She whispers. She tries again, this time placing her hand in his.
Jarod holds her hand gently, helping her to her feet. “Don’t be sorry,” he whispers softly. “Not to me, and not for that.” He leads her over to the tub, letting go of her hand and turning the cold water on briefly. He turns back to her. “Take your clothes off and get in the tub,” he whispers. “Do you want me to go outside until you’re done?”
Tears well up in Miss Parker’s eyes again. She looks between him and the tub a few times. “No.” she whispers. “I . . . shit Jarod, I can’t be alone right now.” She moves shaky hands towards the hem of her shirt, unable to take it between her fingers long enough to pull it over her head.
Jarod moves his hands over hers, then stops, looking unsurely to her eyes. “Can I help you?” he asks in a tight, shaky voice.
“Um . . .” Miss Parker looks at him, terror in her eyes, but also a glint of trust. “Please.” she whispers, shutting her eyes tightly.
Moving as gently, but as quickly as he can, Jarod pulls the sweatshirt over her head. He shuts his eyes tightly for a moment, his entire body tensing with rage and pain at the sight of her body. Pushing it all down to be dealt with later, he moves his hands to the waist band of her pants, pushing them down and letting them fall to her ankles. He takes her hands again and
tugs a little. “Get in the water,” he whispers. “It’ll hurt at first. . . . sting a little. . . ache a little. . . but it will help,” he promises.
Miss Parker takes an incredibly shaky breath, a small sob escaping her lips. She steps out of her pants, her eyes still closed, and turns, feeling for the tub. She carefully climbs in, wincing as the water touches her body. She sinks into the tub and wraps her arms tightly around herself before finally opening her eyes, glancing up at Jarod, unable to speak, fear etched on her face.
Jarod slowly sinks down and sits on the floor beside the tub. He hands her a soft sponge from the mat on the floor. “Soak for awhile. When you feel you can move, try to scrub softly.”
He lifts a hand very gently touching the top of her hair. “Tell me if you want me to leave at any time, and I will.” He smiles, a sad, unsteady smile. “I won’t take offense at all.”
Miss Parker nods. “I don’t want you to leave.” She says in a small voice. “I just want to stop being so afraid.” Her arms tighten around her body more. “I don’t like this feeling Jarod. Any of these feelings.”
“I know,” he murmurs softly, running his hand over her hair gently, barely touching her. “But you don’t have to be afraid now,” he whispers. “I know you still are, but you don’t have to be. You’re safe here Mel,” he murmurs. “I won’t let anything hurt you.”
“That’s why I came here.” She murmurs. “You’re where I feel safe Jarod.” She sighs raggedly and looks at him. “You’re the only person I know I can trust.”
Jarod looks at her, his face a mixture of total confusion and total understanding. “It used to be the same way for me,” he whispers. He smiles a little, as much humor as he can possibly muster put into the effort. “But then you started chasing me and I lost a little.” He continues to stroke her hair softly. “If,” he clears his throat and starts again “If you need anything that I can get for you, let me know, and I will.”
Miss Parker sighs. “I’m sorry Jarod.” She whispers, as close to inaudible as she can get. “I’m sorry.” She takes a breath. “And what I need, you can’t get.”
“Don’t be sorry,” he murmurs. “Please don’t be sorry, not right now at least.” He licks his lips, still stroking her hair. “And if you figure out something I *can* get for you, don’t hesitate to ask me.”
“Can you get me a towel?” she asks quietly. “I can’t stay in here, it’s . . . it hurts.”
Jarod looks at her, his eyebrows furrowing. “What hurts?” he asks, concerned, feeling himself slip into a Doctor persona.
Miss Parker sighs. “Everything. They hurt me pretty bad,” she whispers disjointedly, her eyes shutting again. “Really badly. And everything hurts.”
Jarod stands up and grabs a large white bath towel, holding it wide in front of the tub. “Can you stand up?”
Miss Parker wraps her hands around the edges of the tub and slowly pushes herself into a standing position, wincing with every muscle movement. She reaches a shaky hand out and takes the towel, wrapping it around her body. “However, I don’t think I can get out of the tub by myself.” she looks at him unsteadily.
Jarod holds his arms out to her. “Use me however you need me,” he says softly.
Securing the towel around her body, Miss Parker carefully reaches out and takes both of his hands, stepping out of the tub. She trips, her feet still unsteady, and falls into Jarod. Sucking in a sharp breath, she finds her footing and moves away from him, to the other side of the room. “Thanks,” she murmurs.
Jarod nods at the couch on the opposite side of the hut. “That folds out into a bed. Would you like to lay down?” he asks as casually as he can, opening up a small suitcase and extracting a large t-shirt of his and a pair of boxer shorts.
“I would love to lie down,” Miss Parker sits down on the couch. “I don’tknow if I can. Lying down has . . . nice negative connotations to it right now.” she says, her voice holding just the slightest hint of the Miss Parker Jarod was used to. “I fucking hate this.”
Jarod walks forward, kneeling down just in front of her. He sets the clothes on her lap. “Get changed,” he murmurs. “Since you can’t lie down, give me a moment, and I’ll pull a bean bag chair out of the closet. You can sit up, but still rest a little.”
Miss Parker quickly tosses on the clothes. “Thanks Jarod. For everything. You don’t need to be taking care of me right now.”
Jarod smiles, the smallest, gentlest of smiles. “Yes I do,” he whispers. He lays a gentle hand on her hair again, then drops it, standing up. He drags the bean bag chair out of the closet and sets it in front of the couch. “You can sit here, and lean your head on the couch.”
Miss Parker nods, and slips down onto the bean bag. She curls up into a tight ball and shuts her eyes, almost instantly falling asleep from sheer exhaustion.
~~~~~
Miss Parker tosses her head back and forth, a quiet cry escaping her lips. She’s trapped in a nightmare that she can’t get out of. “No. God no. Stop . . . please.” she cries out, terror in her voice.
Jarod leans forward a little from his place on the floor next to her. He hesitates, his hand just above her for a moment. “Melina,” he says in a firm, gentle voice. “Wake up Mel.”
Miss Parker shakes her head again, sobbing quietly, her eyes still squeezed shut. “Please just leave me alone.” She pleads, still not waking up.
Shutting his eyes briefly, Jarod reaches his hand out and touches her shoulder, shaking her once, gently, then letting go again. “Melina,” he says sharply. “Wake up. You’re not there anymore, they’re not hurting you. You’re with me, Jarod, and you’re safe. Nothing can touch you Mel,” he murmurs. “I won’t let anything touch you.”
Miss Parker’s eyes fly open. “Jarod?” she asks in a lost, breathless tone, tears streaming down her face, her eyes completely unfocused. “Is it really you?”
“It’s me,” he whispers, his hand moving over her hair again, not touching any other part of her. “It’s just me.”
“Jarod.” she breathes, leaning over and wrapping her arms tightly around him. “Oh god, Jarod . . . why . . . why did they take me? Why did they tie me up like they did, and do what they did to me? Was it my fault, did I do something to bring it on?” she asks in the most scared, hurt, lost voice.
Jarod freezes for a second, then slowly wraps his arms around her, loose enough so she could pull free if she needed to, but firmly enough so she knows they’re there. “I don’t know why they took you, or why they did what they did,” he says in a low, tight voice, “but I do know it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything to bring it on. They’re the ones with the problems.
They’re the ones who are sick, and disturbed, and angry at everything.” He kisses her forehead gently. “They took that anger out on you and it was wrong, and immoral and depraved, but the one thing it was *not* is your fault,” he whispers.
Miss Parker leans her head back and looks him in the eye, tears running down her face. “Are you sure?” she asks in a scared voice. “You’re not just telling me that to make me feel better?”
Jarod shakes his head, biting back tears of rage and despair. “No,” he says in voice filled with barely controlled anger. “I’m telling you that because it’s the truth.” He looks her in the eye, forcing tears back. “Have I ever lied to you?”
Miss Parker shakes her head. “No.” she whispers. “You’ve never lied to me. But god, this feels like it was my fault. I was so stupid. I was walking in a dark alley by myself at night, I didn’t fight them hard enough . . . aren’t those things my fault?”
Jarod shuts his eyes for a moment, running his hands very slowly, and very gently up and down her back in a soothing motion. “No,” he bites out hoarsely. “They’re not. Was it stupid to be walking in an alley in the dark by yourself? Yeah, probably,” he concedes. “Did you deserve to be tied up and raped as a result of it? Hell no,” he says in a low, rough tone. “Walking alone in the dark is not allowing yourself to be hurt. This is not your fault. It’s their fault. Blame them,” he practically begs. He licks hislips. “And as for not fighting them hard enough,” he begins softly, “I know you, and I’m sure you fought them until they knocked you out. And then you fought them when you woke up until you couldn’t move anymore.” He tightens his arms, then loosens them again. “I’m sure you fought more then anyone else would’ve. I’m sure I’m beginning to sound repetitive, but I swear, it is *not* your fault. I swear it to you,” he vows in a whisper.
Miss Parker’s lower lip trembles and more tears stream down her face. “You’re not sounding repetitive, I need to hear that. Over and over again, I’m sure.” She tightens her arms around him, laying her head on his shoulder. “Is it okay if I just stay right here a while?” she asks around a small sob. “I need to hold on to something stable.”
Jarod shuts his eyes tightly and holds her against him, running one of his hands up and down her back, between her shoulder blades and back again, the other remaining on her lower back. “You stay as long as you need to,” he whispers, leaning back on the floor and positioning her between his legs, resting his back against the couch. “You hold onto me if it helps you, even a little bit.” He moves his hand a little, rubbing small, soothing circles along her spine. “We’ll stay here as long as you need to,” he promises again, his voice barely audible.
Miss Parker buries her face in his shoulder, sobbing uncontrollably. She stays like that, wrapped around him, sobbing, for about twenty minutes. Finally, she lifts her head and looks at him. “You know, it was your voice, telling me I’d be okay, that kept me from giving up.” she says softly. “If I hadn’t been able to reach inside myself and find . . . you, I would’ve just . . .died. I would have completely given up and probably given them an easy excuse to kill me.”
Jarod shakes his head. “Don’t say that,” he whispers raggedly. “Don’t ever say that.” He moves one of his hands from her back and cups her cheek gently, running his thumb over her cheek bone in the gentlest of caresses. “You are so strong,” he murmurs. “I know you would’ve gotten through it, with or without me.” He looks into her eyes. “But I’m glad I could help. Even if I wasn’t really there, even if it wasn’t real help, I’m glad,” he whispers softly, brushing his lips just under each of her eyes, kissing away her tears. “I just wish I could’ve done more,” he murmurs gently.
“I can’t lie right now Jarod, and it’s true.” Miss Parker leans her head against his. “You saved me.” her voice breaks over the words. “And you’re taking care of me, that’s the best thing you can do. I shouldn’t even be letting you do that, you shouldn’t be seeing me like this, shouldn’t have to.”
Jarod brushes his hand down her cheek gently. “Yes I should,” he whispers. “You need someone to help you through this, help you cope, and if you trust me to do that, then I want to. I need to,” he says softly. “And I promise I will. I’ll take care of you. . . I’ll help you deal with this for as long as you need me too. I promise,” he whispers. “And when it’s all over, if you want to, you can even go back to chasing me again,” he adds, trying to inject a note of humor into his voice, and only partially succeeding.
Miss Parker shakes her head. “No. I am so sorry I’ve done that for this long, not anymore.” She brushes the remaining tears from her face. “God I have got to stop crying. I’ve been doing nothing but for days. How do I stop?” she asks pleadingly.
Jarod looks at her, a bit helplessly. “That’s one trick I’ve never been able to figure out,” he says in an apologetic voice. “Eventually, I’ve always cried myself out.” He runs his hand down her back at the same time he brushes the backs of his knuckles over her cheek. “The only sure fire way I’ve found to stop crying is by laughing, and I don’t think there’s a single thing on this earth that could make you laugh right now.”
Miss Parker leans her face into his hand a little. “Probably not. I’m not really finding the good things in life to be prevalent right about now.” She sighs. “This is going to be really rough for a while, you sure you can deal with it? With me?”
Jarod smiles at her. “What do you think?” he asks in a low, rough voice. “Have you ever known me to pass up a challenge, or someone in need of help?” he asks in a slightly chiding voice, trying to let her know it’s okay, she’s not a burden by attempting to minimize why he’s doing this.
“No.” Miss Parker smiles the smallest, most pathetic smile for a fraction of a second, so brief if he hadn’t have been looking, he wouldn’t have seen it. “Just wanted to check.”
Jarod leans down to her and smiles. “Besides,” he whispers in her ear, “you’re special.” He leans back and looks her in the eye. “I could never refuse my oldest friend help,” he murmurs.
Miss Parker bites her lower lip for a split second. “Shit, I have to stop doing that.” she shuts her eyes for a moment. “I missed you.” she murmurs, almost shyly.
Jarod looks at her, his eyes widening a little. “You missed me?” he asks, his toned tinged with a little wonder. “Did you miss me as much as I missed you?”
Miss Parker shrugs. “I don’t know. How much did you miss me?” she asks in a small, childlike voice. “‘Cause I missed you a lot.”
Jarod leans forward and kisses her forehead softly. “I missed you so much that unless I did everything in my power to ignore it for entire minutes at a time I had this permanent ache inside my heart.” He swallows deeply. “I missed you the same way I would miss air, or water. I missed you Melina,” he says simply.
Miss Parker shuts her eyes briefly. “Yeah, I missed you that much.” She sighs. “God Jarod, I would like nothing better than to wrap my arms around you in some form of embrace that doesn’t involve my terror of letting you go, and . . . to kiss you, and to let you make me forget everything else. You have no idea how much I want that. But I’m so afraid, and so hurt . . .
but I needed you to know that.”
Jarod closes his eyes tightly and leans his head against hers, pressing his cheek to hers. “I know it,” he whispers. “And I understand why you can’t.” He tightens his arms around her for a moment. “I do want that too, I always have,” he murmurs. “And I will wait for you to be ready.” He smiles. “I’ll wait as long as you need me too, and then I’ll hold you, and kiss you, and I will make you forget everything else. At least for a little while,” he adds gently.
“Thank you. I’m . . . looking forward to it.” Miss Parker whispers, running a hand up to his cheek for a moment. She sighs and leans back. “So . . . you finally got to come here and just watch the sun set and the waves crash.” She smiles a little. “Been enjoying yourself?”
Jarod smiles his first genuine smile of the day. “Actually, yes,” he murmurs. “It’s. . . beautiful here. Very peaceful.” He moves his head around the room. “And a small hut on the least tourist infested side of the island is perfection.” He looks her in the eye. “When you’re feeling better, I’ll take you on a mini tour around the island. I haven’t even seen all of it yet.”
Miss Parker nods. “How about just taking me on a tour of the beach? This is nice, but the walls are kind of closing in on me right now.”
Jarod spreads his arms wide. “Sure. There’s no one out there so we should have the place to ourselves.” He leans down to her and speaks in a conspiratorial whisper. “I don’t think anyone knows this place is actually here.” He raises an eyebrow. “Except you, of course.”
“And figuring out where you’d be on the island was not easy.” Miss Parker smiles. “I finally got inside your head long enough to find you.” Shakily, she stands up. “Come on, I need some fresh air.”
Jarod stands and places a hand on her shoulder. “Here’s to your finally getting inside my head when it counts,” he murmurs. “Let’s go.” He leads her outside onto the beach.
~~~~~
Miss Parker sits, curled up, on a log, watching the last of the sunset. She sighs. “It’s nice here.” She murmurs. “I could stay right here and be very happy for a while.”
Jarod glances over at her from his place on the same log. “I have been happy here for awhile,” he murmurs. “It’s very peaceful.” He glances over at her and watches her shiver. “Are you cold?” he asks softly, realizing the fine tropic air was a little chilly this evening.
Miss Parker glances at him. “A little.” she admits softly. “That, and I just can’t seem to think clearly, and the images . . . are too much.” She shivers again. “It’s a nice combination of both.”
Jarod places a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Would you like to go inside?”
Miss Parker jumps a little at his touch. “I don’t know. Yeah, probably.” She looks at him again. “Sure, let’s go inside.”
Jarod keeps his hands at his sides and stands up. “Come on,” he murmurs softly, walking ahead of her into the hut. Once inside, Jarod walks over to the couch and unfolds it. “I know laying down wasn’t good earlier, but it may sound a hell of a lot more appealing as it gets further into the night,” he says softly, pulling out a sheet and a couple of blankets and making the bed. He tosses one of the blankets and a pillow the floor. “I’ll sleep down here. If you need me during the night, just sling a leg over the side of the bed and kick,” he says brightly.
Miss Parker sits down on the edge of the bed, looking down at the stuff he’d put on the floor. She sighs and picks up it, tossing it onto the bed. “No, you’ll sleep up here.” She murmurs. “If I’m going to even think about lying down, I’m going to need you right here.”
Jarod looks at her carefully. “Are you sure?” he asks softly. “I don’t want to. .. frighten you or. . . make you feel uncomfortable,” he whispers.
“That’s why I’m sure.” Miss Parker sighs, taking one of his hands briefly. “If you weren’t worried about what it would do to me, I wouldn’t even be able to think about closing my eyes with you in the same room. I need you, your strength, and that you care enough to be concerned about what you being so close will do to me . . .” she nods a little. “It means so much.”
Jarod nods once and stands up, leaving the bedding where it is. “Are you hungry?” he asks softly. “I think I can find something at least remotely edible around here.”
Miss Parker shakes her head. “I don’t think I can eat right now. Don’t let me stop you if you are, but . . . god, I’m just so tired. I don’t know if I can sleep, but I’m exhausted.”
Jarod sits back down next to her. “Nope, not hungry at all,” he murmurs. “I just wanted to make sure you weren’t dying of hunger.” He looks at her. “Would you like to try laying down? Maybe closing our eyes for awhile?” he suggests softly.
Miss Parker nods. “Yeah, I would.” She looks at him, then lays back on the bed, curling into a ball. She stares at him. “Can you put your arms around me?” she asks in a small voice. “Ifeel safer in your arms.”
Jarod shuts his eyes as he lays back beside her. He curls onto his sides, wrapping both arms around her, one going over her body, the other going under. He curls his legs around hers and lays his head on top of hers briefly, touching their cheeks, then moving his behind her head. “Any better?” he asks in a whisper.
Miss Parker nods. “Much,” she whispers, closing her eyes. “Thank you.” She burrows her head into the pillow more. “I might even be able to sleep . . . I hope.”
Jarod nods a little. “Good,” he whispers, kissing the back of her neck gently, keeping his eyes open. “I’ll be here if you wake up, or can’t sleep at all,” he promises. “I’m here.”
~~~~~
About three hours into the night, they remain in the same position. Miss Parker’s eyes are open, staring fixatedly at the wall opposite her. Jarod stares at the back of her head, wanting to speak, to help her in some way, but having no clue where to begin. Jarod runs his fingers from her shoulder to her hip gently, softly. “Would you like me to attempt to engage you in inane, idle conversation, or just continue to lie here in silence with you?” he asks softly.
Miss Parker shudders a little. “I don’t know, you’re welcome to try either, whatever sounds better to you.” she murmurs.
“I’m more concerned with whatever sounds better to you,” he murmurs next to her ear.
Miss Parker shrugs. “I really don’t know. I just want to feel normal again. But I don’t know how to get there.”
Jarod closes his eyes briefly, then opens them again, staring at the back of her head. “Have you ever been to Paris before?” he asks softly.
“Once,” she murmurs. “A few years ago, for a weekend.”
Jarod smiles a little. “I’ve never been. I planned on going next month.” He tightens his arms around her, squeezing once then loosening his hold again quickly. “You wanna join me?” he asks softly. “Since you were only there for a weekend, and I’m guessing you missed some of the beautiful spots.”
Miss Parker shrugs a shoulder. “I don’t know if I can make plans that far in advance just yet. I’d love to join you, just ask again when you get closer to going.”
“May I ask why you can’t make plans that far in advance?” Jarod wonders softly. “And if you don’t want to tell me, just say ‘Jarod, it’s none of your business,’ and I’ll let it be.”
“Because I can’t decide what I want to do tomorrow, what I *can* do tomorrow, let alone in a few weeks.” Miss Parker sighs. “This really left me a little lost.”
“So we’ll help you find your way again,” he says softly. “And you will join me in Paris. You’ll find a way long before then.” He squeezes her again, gently. “And if you get too lost, just call my name, and I’ll help you home again,” he whispers.
“Something tells me I can’t get too lost with you holding onto me.” she murmurs. “I just need to come back from where I am now.”
Nodding, Jarod places a kiss against the back of her head. “We’ll help you back,” he murmurs. “I promise you that.” Jarod takes a deep breath. “Since I don’t know quite where to start on your road back, why don’t we start on your road to recovery?” Hesighs. “You have a couple of nasty cuts that should probably have something put on them. I can do it, or I can give you the stuff to do it yourself.”
Miss Parker sighs. “You should probably . . . I don’t think I can.” she murmurs. “I know my face, my wrists and ankles . . . I don’t know about the back of my head, I got slammed by my gun, but . . .”
Jarod places a soft kiss over the same spot he’d been doing that to for hours. “There’s a nasty gash. It was bleeding pretty badly earlier by the looks of it,” he says in a raspy voice. “And your wrists,” he lifts one in his hand, “look so raw,” he whispers in a pained voice. He brings one wrist to his mouth and kisses the inside of it. “I’m gonna get up and get my first aid kit.”
Miss Parker nods. “Okay. Don’t be gone long.” She squeezes his hand. “I need you.” she mumbles.
Jarod leans down and kisses her cheek gently. “I won’t even leave the room,” he whispers, standing up and walking to the closet, grabbing a small bag and coming back to sit on the bed. “See? Didn’t even miss me,” he murmurs.
“Not much,” she whispers. “So, what are you going to do, Dr. Jarod?”
Jarod smiles softly. “Just use some of this iodine and probably make something that stings a little right now hurt like hell for awhile,” he murmurs regretfully.
“Oh goody.” Miss Parker sighs. “I’m *so* looking forward to that.” she holds out her wrists to him. “Might as well start here.”
Jarod takes out a swab of cotton and dabs the iodine onto the end. Wincing himself, he slowly applies it to the cuts on her wrists. “Sorry,” he murmurs, lifting one wrist and placing soft kisses along the insides, then dabbing it with iodine. He repeats the movement with her other wrist. “Done,” he pronounces softly.
Miss Parker opens her eyes. “Thanks.” She murmurs, running her fingers around the edges of the iodine. “Shit that hurts.”
Jarod nods sympathetically. “I know,” he murmurs. “Ankles next?”
“Yeah.” Miss Parker kicks the blankets back, turning a little and placing her ankles in his lap. “I’m avoiding you putting that stuff anywhere near my face for as long as possible.”
Jarod smiles softly and applies the iodine to her ankles, bending his head and kissing them softly as well, hoping to soothe at least a little of the pain. “Finished again,” he murmurs. “You’re the easiest patient I’ve ever had.” He raises an eyebrow. “Back of the head?”
“I’m still a little dazed,” Miss Parker mutters, turning around on the bed. “I wouldn’t be anywhere near this good otherwise.”
“I believe it,” Jarod mutters, dabbing at the gash on the back of her head with infinite tenderness. He places his lips over it softly, then swabs it again. “This almost needs stitches,” he says in a worried voice.
Miss Parker winces a little. “Does it?” she asks softly. “If it does, you can do it, right?”
Jarod nods slowly. “Yeah, I can. .. . and I’m sorry to tell you this babe, but I think it does.” He sighs. “But it can wait until tomorrow.” He laughs a little. “It’s waited this long.”
Miss Parker sighs. “I was afraid of that. And, whatever you think is best.”
Jarod moves his hands down her sides to her hips. He gently lifts the t-shirt up and sucks in a sharp breath at the sight of the long gash along her stomach, that stretched just over her ribs. “What did this?” he asks in a low, tight voice as he pours iodine on a cotton swab.
Miss Parker looks down, tears filling her eyes. “I don’t know.” she whispers in a scared tone. “They must’ve done that while I was knocked out.” She takes a ragged breath. “God, I don’t know *what* they did to me.”
Nodding slowly, Jarod softly dabs the cotton swab over the gash, cleaning it expertly. He pulls out a strip of gauze and some medical tape. He covers the gash and tapes it, resting his hand in a gentle, soft touch over the gauze. “It would probably be better if I taped your ankles and your wrists, as well, but it might be worth the risk of infection to your psyche. . . .” he takes a long, pained breath. “I don’t know exactly what they did, but I have a fairly good idea how they did it, and having your wrists and ankles taped might not be conducive to your getting better up here,” he runs one hand to her head, resting his fingers against her temple gently. “Am I right, or would you like them taped?”
“I think you’re right.” Miss Parker murmurs. “I don’t even want to think of what it might do to me right now to have anything around them.” she lets out a shaky sigh. “I don’t know what they did, but I *do* know how they did it, I hadn’t managed to block myself out by then.”
Nodding slowly, Jarod pulls her t-shirt back down over the gauze. He takes out a few q-tips and tips them in iodine. “This is gonna sting like nothing you’ve ever felt before,” he warns in a gently voice. He takes the q-tip and applies it gently to the small cuts on her face.
Miss Parker sucks in a sharp breath, trying not to move her head back. “Shit.” She mutters. “Whoever invented that stuff was a fucking sadist.” She blinks, a couple tears running down her cheeks.
Jarod finishes quickly and kisses each one of the cuts, along with her tear tracks. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, “but I have to make sure all these cuts don’t get worse, and cause you more pain along the road.”
“I understand.” Miss Parker looks up at him, pain etched on her face. “I appreciate it. Right about now, without you here, I’d just be curled up in a little ball somewhere not caring in the least what happened to me.” she shakes her head a little. “I barely care now.”
“I care,” he says softly, running his hand down her hair. “I care more then you know. And I promise to keep caring enough for both of us until you can care for yourself properly.”
“Thanks.” Miss Parker curls herself up again. “Are you done?” she asks in a small voice.
Jarod lays down behind her and wraps his arms around her again. He draws his legs up next to hers and molds his body to hers as best he can. He lays his head down on the pillow behind hers, his lips resting very lightly on the base of her neck. “I’m done,” he whispers. “Would you like anything else? Anything I can get for you?”
Miss Parker shakes her head, her entire body shaking as well. “No. I doubt you can do anything to make it easier for my to close my eyes. And . . . other than that, you’re already taking really good care of me, which is more than I could ask for.” She takes a few breaths, trying to stop from shaking.
Jarod runs his hand up and down her side gently, taking special care over the bandage. “You’re okay,” he whispers. “You’re safe, nothing can hurt you here.” He kisses the back of her neck. “You’re safe Sweetheart. I will die before anything touches you again.”
Still shaking, Miss Parker turns, uncurling her body and wrapping her arms around him, burying her face in his neck and sobbing. She clings to him, violently shaking on top of the sobs.
Jarod puts his arms around her back and holds her to him, moving his hands gently up and down her back in soft, soothing circles and strokes. “Shh,” he murmurs, moving one hand up to her hair, cradling her head against his neck. “It’s okay,” he soothes softly. “Go ahead and cry. You’re safe to do that too,” he says in a voice that only breaks a little.
Miss Parker continues shaking, sobbing. Her arms tighten around him, her face still pressed to his neck. She brings one of her hands blindly up to his face, touching his cheek. She leans her head back and stares at him. “I’m sorry I’m putting you through this. It has to be hard on you too. I can see it in your eyes.” She whispers, her sobs finally quieting, tears still streaming down her face.
Jarod shakes his head a little. “Not nearly as hard as it is on you,” he says simply. “And don’t be sorry. What did I say? Not to me, and not for this.” He places a hand over hers and moves it to his mouth, kissing the palm gently. “I want to do this,” he whispers. “I want to take care of you until you can take care of yourself. I wanna be here when you need someone to talk to, or make you something, or to just hold you.”
Miss Parker furls her eyebrows a little. “Why Jarod?” she asks in a whisper. “Why do you want to do this?” her face crumbles a little. “After everything . . . you want to help me?”
“Because I don’t know how to stop,” he whispers. “My first instinct has always been to help you, and to make you feel better.” He shuts his eyes. “You’re my best friend Melina, always have been, and no matter what, always will be.” He opens his eyes and looks at her. “There’s no one on this earth as important to me as you are.”
Miss Parker leans her forehead against his, tears still running down her cheeks. “I swear, when I’m better, I’m going to make everything up to you. Everything I did . . . everything I said. I know you don’t want me thinking about that, being sorry, but I am.” she shuts her eyes. “You are willing to take care of me, to be here for me, and I need to make this up to you. I need to make it better.” Jarod closes his eyes and wraps his arms tighter around her back, moving his hands between her shoulders, then back to her lower back. He leaves his forehead against hers. “If it’s something you need to do, that’s okay. You can. I’ll let you do anything you want to,” he murmurs. “I’ll be here for you whenever, and for however long you need me to be,” he promises softly.
“You might want to rethink that, you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.” Miss Parker sighs a little. “I may never leave. You are the only person I feel safe with. I couldn’t even think about telling Syd, or anyone else. Even with everything, you’re the only one I felt I could count on to just be there, to tell me it’ll be okay, and not try to go and kill them instead of staying with me, which is what I need.”
Jarod shuts his eyes tightly. “So don’t leave,” he whispers softly. “You can stay here forever if you like.” He moves his hand to the side of her cheek, cupping it softly. “And I do want to kill them,” he says tightly. “I won’t. I won’t for a lot of reasons. Because you need me more, and because I’ve never killed anyone in cold blood before being the main ones.” He looks at
her carefully. “I do want to kill them,” he says clearly. “But I won’t.”
“I know you want to. Part of me wants to. But Jarod, the bigger part of me just wants it to go away. And killing them won’t accomplish that.” Miss Parker swallows deeply. “I just want it all to stop, to go away. If you went after them, they would never stop haunting me, because I’d know that the images in your head about this had gotten that much worse.”
Jarod nods slowly. “That’s the other reason why I won’t,” he whispers. “Neither of us needs it.” He kisses her forehead gently, then rests his against it again. “Can I do anything more then what I’m doing?”
“No.” Miss Parker shakes her head against his. “There’s nothing you can do. You’re doing everything I can think of to make this better.”
Jarod holds her tighter. “Then I’ll just keep doing this,” he whispers. “I’ll keep holding you until you tell me to stop.”
Miss Parker wraps herself around him, tightening her arms. “You mean so much to me. So much.” She murmurs.
Jarod closes his eyes, kissing the tip of her nose cause it’s all he can reach without moving. “And you mean everything to me,” he whispers. “You always have.”
~~~~~
Forty-eight hours pass with much the same happening. Finally, Miss Parker lifts her head and looks at Jarod, not crying. “I’m kinda hungry.” She murmurs softly, her voice a little rough from all the crying she’s been doing.
Jarod smiles a little and runs a hand down her cheek. “What would you like?” he asks softly. “Name it, and I’ll find a way to get it for you.”
Miss Parker shrugs. “I don’t know. Whatever sounds good to you. I can’t make coherent decisions.”
Nodding, Jarod slowly unwraps his arms from around her. “I’ll be right back,” he whispers, standing up and walking into the small little kitchen. A few moments later, he returns with a plate of fruit, some cheese, some crackers, a bottle of white wine and a bar of chocolate. He sits down, smiling a little. “The quickest and the most appetizing I had handy,” he murmurs.
Miss Parker smiles a little. “Looks good.” she murmurs, taking a bite of cracker. She sighs. “God, I’m sore. My entire body aches.”
“I wish I could help,” he whispers. “If you ever want a back rub or something, let me know. I did accupressure and chiropractic for awhile,” he murmurs.
Miss Parker sighs raggedly. “Could you?” she asks softly. “Rub my back? It hurts so much.”
Nodding slowly, Jarod moves behind her on the bed, placing his hands along her back and rubbing gently, moving from her lower back, up to her neck, his fingers staying along her spine, then gently feathering out. “Does that hurt?” he asks, concerned.
“A little.” Miss Parker admits. “But it’s not you, I don’t think. It just hurts.” She takes a small bite of a piece of pineapple, sucking the juice out of it. “Your hands actually feel good.”
Jarod places a soft kiss against the side of her neck. “Good,” he murmurs. He looks at the back of her head, his hands still moving up and down her back, rubbing gently. “The stitches are holding. I should be able to take them out in a few days,” he murmurs. “That’s gonna hurt like hell.”
“Joy.” Miss Parker mutters. “Oh well, pain and I are on intimate terms lately. I guess I can look forward to it for a while.”
Jarod kisses her neck again. “It won’t be much longer now before a lot of the physical pain will be gone, I promise,” he whispers. He moves his fingers in small, firm circles along her spine, moving between her shoulder blades and pushing out, wiggling his fingers against the material of her t-shirt. “Why don’t I get you some clean clothes to put on? You can take a
really fast shower. It’ll make you feel better.”
Miss Parker nods. “I probably should. I need to go outside for a while, the walls are starting to close in on me again. I am so sick of this.” She stares down at the piece of papaya in her hand, and in total frustration, throws it across the room. “I fucking want to feel normal again!” she screams.
Jarod moves his hands up her back to her shoulders, resting them there lightly. “You are normal,” he whispers harshly. “You are a normal person, dealing with a terrifyingly horrible situation as best you can.” He lays his cheek against hers. “You may not be a hundred percent, and you may not be perfect, but Sweetheart you are normal. I promise you that Melina.”
“But I don’t feel normal Jarod.” she says, her voice breaking. “I don’t feel any semblance of normal. I feel like a small, terrified child, not like the strong woman I thought I was.”
“You are strong,” he whispers. “You wouldn’t be here now if you weren’t.” He wraps his arms around her, pulling her back against his chest. “You are the strongest woman I know. And even if you are a terrified child right now, you’ll grow up again,” He squeezes her a little. “And I’ll be here with you the whole way.”
“I don’t want to have to grow up again Jarod, I want to not have to even think about it. I want to be me again, without all this crap.” Miss Parker takes a ragged breath. “ I want to stop crying at the drop of a hat. I want to be able to shut my eyes for more than five minutes without feeling that god damned blindfold on my face.” She turns her head and looks at him. “I want to not have to force myself not to flinch when you touch me.”
Jarod slowly moves his hands to the side. “Would you rather I didn’t touch you?” he asks softly. “Because if it’s causing you more distress, I won’t.” He sighs. “If you feel the need to flinch, I don’t want you to fight it. It’s a natural response to a very unnatural experience.”
Miss Parker turns and takes his hands in hers, squeezing them. “No. I would rather you did. I need to touch you, and it makes it easier if you don’t feel like you can’t touch back. You help me remember than not everyone out there will hurt me, and I need that.” she squeezes his hands again. “And if I don’t make myself not flinch, not shudder, I’ll never stop. It’s better if I fight it.”
Nodding slowly, Jarod puts his arms around her, hugging her to him briefly. He lets go and stands up, walking over to the tub and turning the shower on. He opens the closet and takes out a pair of his shorts and a tank top. “You should be able to wear these until we can get you some clothes of your own,” he murmurs. “Why don’t we go into Makuwa today?” he suggests gently.
“Okay.” Miss Parker slowly stands up, walking over towards the shower. She nods at the clothes. “Do you have a t-shirt instead? My shoulders are still a bit bruised, I’d rather not show off more injuries than I have to.” She points towards her face. “This is enough of something for people to stare at.”
Nodding slowly, Jarod picks out a deep purple t-shirt. “Better?” he asks softly, walking closer to her and laying the clothing on a small chair near the tub. “I’ll ask again - would you like me to step outside while you bathe?”
“Much.” Miss Parker sighs, shaking her head and pulling her shirt over her head, her back to him. “No, you don’t have to go anywhere.”
Taking a few breaths, Jarod sits down on a small chair about ten feet from the tub. “Would you like to use your car or mine?” he asks softly.
“I don’t care. Which ever you feel like driving, I can’t.” Miss Parker quickly strips off the rest of her clothes and steps into the shower, standing under the water for a moment, then sinking to her knees in the middle of the tub. She wraps her arms around her waist and leans into the water.
Jarod stands and slowly walks over to the tub, sitting down beside it. He lays a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Melina are you still here?” he asks softly.
Miss Parker jumps at his touch, and looks up him. “Shit. Yeah . . . now.” She sighs. “This isn’t working, let’s just get out of here.”
Nodding, Jarod grabs her a towel and holds it open. “Come on. Dry off, get dressed, and we’ll go. I just need to jump in the shower really fast.” He smiles a little sheepishly. “I’m starting to smell.”
“I hadn’t noticed,” Miss Parker murmurs honestly, taking the towel and standing up, wrapping it around herself and getting out of the tub. She sighs, wincing at the motion of towel brushing against her still-sore breasts, and moves to sit on the edge of the bed.
“They still hurt that badly?” Jarod asks softly, stripping out of his clothes and stepping in the shower.
“Yeah.” Miss Parker fumbles with the edge of the sheet, staring down at the ground. “A lot still hurts.” She pulls her shorts up under the towel and sighs, staring at the shirt. Sighing deeply, she pulls it over her head, dropping the towel to the ground next to her.
Jarod flips the shower off and wraps a towel around his waist, walking to the closet and pulling out a pair of shorts and a t-shirt for himself. He pulls the t-shirt on then shrugs off the towel, pulling his shorts on and moving to sit next to her on the bed. He sits shoulder to shoulder with her. “Anything I can do for any of the pain?” he asks gently.
“You got any Demerol?” she asks sarcastically. She sighs. “Sorry. Do you have any decent pain killers around?”
Jarod raises an eyebrow and stands up, walking over to the closet. He pulls out a large black bag and thumps it heavily on the bed. “Demerol. . . . Perkedan. . . Vicodin. . . . Aspirin .. . Valium. . .” He smiles a little. “Do you have a drug of choice?”
“Jesus, you’re a regular pharmacy.” Miss Parker shakes her head. “I probably shouldn’t take anything that’ll knock me out, so . . . the Vicodin sounds good right about now.”
Jarod knocks out two Vicodin in his palm and hands them to her. “I’d recommend one now, and one after we eat somewhere in town,” he says, standing and getting her a glass of water. He sits back down on the bed, handing her the water.
Miss Parker downs both of them. “I’m semi-immune to this stuff.” she mutters. “It takes two to get a decent effect, especially with this much pain.” She smiles. “Thanks for the concern though. So, shall we go?”
Jarod nods and pockets the Vicodin. “Just in case two doesn’t touch it later,” he murmurs. He holds out a hand to her. “Let’s go.”
Miss Parker takes his hand and stands up. “Yeah. I need clothes and stuff.” She reaches over and grabs her wallet. “Thank god for ATM cards, I pretty much cleared out my bank account before I left the east coast.”
Jarod places a hand over hers. “I’m going to have to ask you not use that,” he says softly. “I’ll pay for anything you need. You’ve been gone long enough, the Centre will probably be on the look out for you to use something.” He looks at her arefully. “I can’t let them find me, or you, and I’d just as soon not have to leave here quite yet.”
Miss Parker shakes her head. “You misunderstood me. I cleared out the account before I left so I have a bunch of a cash on me right now. Don’t worry, I cut up my ATM and credit cards before I got on the plane, I didn’t want them getting lost and being used somewhere.” She smiles. “I know what they’ll be looking for, after all. I needed cash to get my plane ticket,
and so I just got cash advances on all my cards.” Jarod raises an eyebrow. “All of them?” he asks, smiling. “Last time I checked, you had twelve.”
Flipping open her wallet, Miss Parker flashes a huge amount of cash, all hundreds. “And I have about twice this per bundle in a few other places. I did think ahead that much.” She sighs. “I’m surprised I was that with it . . . something just reminded me on my way to the airport.”
Jarod nods. “Good.” He smiles a little. “I told you, you’re strong, and you’re smart. Nothing - not even what they did to you - can keep you down.” He tugs her hand after she’d put her money away and walks out of the hut, heading up the beach to the car.
Miss Parker follows him. “So, where are we going again?”
“Makuwa,” he answers, opening the passengers side door, then walking around to the driver’s. “It’s a small town about thirty minutes away. There’s food, and you should be able to find some comfortable, affordable, beautiful clothes.” He grins a little. “Not to mention one of the coolest hobby shops around.”
“Sounds good.” Miss Parker smiles a little. “I think I can face people without screaming.”
Jarod places a hand on hers as he pulls onto the road. “If you feel like screaming at anyone, go right ahead,” he says softly. “I’ll get you outta there when you’re done.”
“You’ll have to.” Miss Parker shakes her head. “It won’t be pretty if I do end up snapping.”
“I don’t imagine it would be,” Jarod says lightly. “I’ve seen you snap before, and I imagine this’ll be like nothing you’ve ever done before.” He glances at her briefly, then turns his eyes back to the road. “But even if you do snap, life will go on. You’ll put yourself back together - with my help - and we’ll go on.” Miss Parker places a hand on his shoulder. “I know I keep saying this, but thank you. For everything. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” She squeezes his arm gently and lets her hand fall back into her lap.
Jarod reaches over and takes her hand, twining his fingers with hers. “I don’t think you understand that I’m doing this for myself as much as for you,” he murmurs. He squeezes her fingers lightly. “*I* don’t know what I’d do without *you*,” he says softly.
Miss Parker squeezes back. “Well, now we don’t have to find out. I’m not going anywhere, I don’t think I can now.” She looks back out the windshield. “How long until we get there?”
“Twenty more minutes,” he says softly. “And I want you to be able to go anywhere - I don’t want you staying because you have to, or you can’t go anywhere else - I want you staying because you want to,” he says softly, concentrating more so then he normally would be on the road, studiously avoiding looking at her.
“Jarod,” Miss Parker sighs. “When I say I can’t go anywhere without you, it’s not a statement that I don’t want to stay. It’s . . .” she sighs again, deeper. “My words, their meanings, are getting muddled, I’m still pretty screwed up over this. But I want to
stay with you, that’s all I meant.”
Jarod shakes his head. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs. “I’m letting a lot of insecurities of my own color how I’m interpreting what you’re saying.” He glances at her quickly, then back at the road again. “This isn’t about me, it’s about you. I’ll worry about me later.” He brings her hand to his mouth, kissing the backs of her knuckles quickly. “I’m sorry,” he whispers quickly.
“Hey, don’t you apologize to me for your feelings.” She brushes her hand over his cheek. “We’ll work out both our problems together, but don’t apologize, and don’t hide them from me, okay? I could use something else to think about for a while anyway.”
Jarod chuckles a little, the sound slightly bitter. “So you want me to whine for awhile about my problems to take your mind of yours?”
Miss Parker smiles softly. “Only if you want to.” she murmurs. “I just don’t want you thinking you have to keep everything inside, obviously I’m not.”
Jarod glances at her for a moment and pulls off the main road and onto a smaller, dirt one. “I’m so used to keeping things inside,” he says softly. “In the Centre there were cameras everywhere. As I grew older, I realized I had no private moments. So I learned how to keep everything in. I’ve only recently been relearning how to channel my emotions into expressions.” He sighs. “And as you may have already deduced, I have what you might call minor abandonment issues,” he says ruefully.
Miss Parker turns to the side, studying his profile. “I know. Believe me, I know.” She bites her upper lip, finally getting it not to bite her lower one.
Jarod stops the car at the end of a long sidewalk of small shops. He turns to her. “Welcome to Makuwa,” he murmurs softly, laying a hand against her cheek. He rubs his thumb over her upper lip softly. “It still isn’t good for it,” he whispers softly. “They were both injured.”
“Habit.” Miss Parker smiles a little. “shall we go wander?” She climbs out of the car, looking in at him.
Jarod nods and hops out, coming to stand next to her. “Sure,” he says, offering her his arm like a true gentleman.
Miss Parker smiles and places her hand on his arm. “So, food or shopping first? And do you want to talk, or would you rather wait until later?”
“Shopping I think,” he says softly. “And we can talk while we walk.” He tugs her a little. “This one I think,” he murmurs, pulling her into a shop with several baby doll and spaghetti strap dresses hanging in the window. He turns to her, furrowing his eyebrows. “What’s your favorite color?” he asks curiously.
Miss Parker shrugs. “Blue, probably. Not that I wear it much.” She fingers a dress absently.
A saleslady comes up to them, eyeing Miss Parker’s face warily. “Can I help you?” She asks, trying to sound like her usual perky self.
Miss Parker looks at her, then at Jarod. “I don’t know.”
Jarod looks at the saleslady. “We’d like to see something in blue,” he says brightly. “Lots of blue and green.” He looks at Miss Parker. “I’d say it’s about time you started wearing it then.”
The saleslady nods. “Okay . . . dresses? Blouses? Skirts? What are you looking for?”
Miss Parker sighs. “Everything. Whatever you have.”
“All right. This way, we have some lovely dresses right over here . . .” The saleslady points to the left, to a large rack of dresses in various shades of blues and greens. “And skirt/blouse sets are over here.” She points to the right. “If you need any help, just ask.”
Miss Parker nods, running her fingers over a short v-necked tank dress in a dark blue shade. She looks at Jarod. “So, what do you like? I don’t really care.”
Jarod smiles a little. “I like that,” he says, indicating the dress she’s fingering. “I’d like to see it on.” He looks at her. “I think anything in here will look a thousand times better on you then it does on the rack,” he murmurs.
Miss Parker smiles, picking up the dress, as well as a couple others. “I’ll go try these on. If you find anything else you like, just bring it back to me.” she heads back towards the dressing room. Inside, she slowly takes off her shirt, dropping it to the floor. She glances in the mirror, looking at the gash on her stomach, which has healed to the point of not needing a bandage.
She runs her fingers over it, shutting her eyes and leaning her forehead against the mirror.
“Hey,” Jarod says softly outside the door. “I found you something else I think you might like.”
Miss Parker snaps her head up, wiping a tear from her face and quickly pulling the first dress over her head, kicking her shorts off in the process. She opens to door and smiles a little at Jarod. “What do you think?”
“I think you’ve been away again,” he murmurs, running the back of his knuckles down her cheek, “and I think you look absolutely beautiful.” He holds out a spaghetti strapped silk dress, slit to the thigh in Royal blue. “The color reminded me of you,” he whispers softly.
“It’s beautiful Jarod.” she takes the dress from him, hanging it up. “And is it that obvious?”
“Only to me,” he says softly, reaching out a hand to touch her back then stopping himself, letting his hand fall back to his side. “I’m gonna go see if I can find you something else.”
Miss Parker looks up at the mirror, catching his eye in it. “Thanks,” she says pointedly, not talking about the clothes.
Jarod smiles, a little sadly. “Anytime,” he murmurs, closing the door and heading back into the store.
Miss Parker takes a moment to really look at herself in the mirror, smiling a little at her reflection. She takes off the dress, putting it to one side in a ‘definite’ pile. She picks up the dress he’d just brought her, and puts it down again, deciding to try it on last. She picks up another dress she had grabbed, an ankle-length sea-green silk dress, slit up to her knee, sleeveless, with a small, almost sheer waist length jacket over it. She twirls in the dressing room before sticking her head out the door. “Jarod?” she calls softly.
Jarod perks his head up and walks slowly over to the dressing room. “What is it Melina?” he asks softly.
“Oh, nothing . . .” she murmurs, stepping out of the dressing room. “Just wanted your opinion.” She smiles.
Jarod lets out a low whistle. “Absolutely breathtaking,” he murmurs under his breath.
Miss Parker’s eyes light up. “Really?” she asks in a little girl voice.
“Really,” he whispers. “I have never seen you wear something more beautiful.” He smiles a little. “Then again, you’d look beautiful in a sack cloth and ashes.”
Miss Parker blushes a little. “I just haven’t felt . . . beautiful, or even okay to look at since . . .” she sighs.
“You are,” he whispers. “You are so beautiful. Inside and out, I’ve always seen it.” He leans a little closer to her. “Nothing can ever take that away from you in my eyes.”
“Thank you.” Miss Parker smiles and leans up, kissing him quickly on the cheek and ducks back into the dressing room. “Stay out there, I do want your opinion on everything else.”
Jarod blinks a couple of times, his body completely still. He shakes himself and smiles a little. “Okay,” he agrees softly.
Miss Parker strips off the dress, putting it with the first one. She picks up a skirt and blouse set, in a deep blue, slipping them on. She steps out of the room. “Well?” she asks softly.
Jarod shakes his head in amazement. “How do you do that?” he asks, his voice baffled. “How do you make clothing come alive?”
“Do I?” she asks quietly, looking down at herself. “I don’t know. So does that mean you approve?”
“I approve,” he says in a low, soft voice.
Miss Parker smiles, looking down at the ground. “No one’s every made me feel as beautiful as you do . . . and I know I look like I got into a fight with a truck and lost, so that makes it even more amazing that you can do that.”
Jarod leans forward, as close as he can get to her face without touching her. “Knowing you the way that I know you,” he murmurs, “doesn’t make me think you got into a fight with a truck and lost - it makes me think the truck must look a hell of a lot worse.” He smiles softly. “You got something else to try on? I think this is definitely a keeper.”
Miss Parker looks up sharply, her nose bumping against his cheek. She leans her head back a little, staring into his eyes. She just stares for a moment, before nodding slowly. “Yeah, I’ve got that dress you brought me to try on. I was saving it.”
Jarod smiles gently. “I’d love to see what it looks like on you,” he murmurs softly.
“Okay. Give me a second.” Ducking back into dressing room, Miss Parker strips off the outfit, brushing her fingers over her stomach again briefly. She sighs and picks up the dress, pulling it on and trying to zip it. She sighs a little and walks out of the room backwards. “Jarod, can you zip this?”
Jarod shuts his eyes for a moment, then opens them, placing his hand on the top of the zipper and zipping it up quickly. “There,” he whispers, turning her around by her shoulders. He lets out a deep, long breath. “Wow,” he murmurs.
“You like?” Miss Parker asks softly, already knowing the answer. “Good.” She smiles and turns back around. “Unzip me?”
Jarod shuts his eyes again, then lets them blink open softly, unzipping her dress a little slower then he’d zipped it up, but still quickly. “You’re free,” he murmurs, stepping away. “So are you getting everything?”
“Yeah, I’m getting everything.” Miss Parker turns around, placing a hand on his cheek. “Jarod, if I know you’re going to touch me, it’s okay.”
Jarod nods a little. “Okay,” he says softly. He leans forward. “I’m gonna touch you,” he murmurs, gently wrapping his arms around her back for a moment, leaning his cheek against hers. He leans back and brushes his fingers down her cheeks softly. “You want me to carry something up to the register for you?”
Miss Parker smiles a little and reaches into the room, grabbing the other outfits. “Yeah, these.” She leans over and kisses his cheek softly. “Thank you.” she heads back into the dressing room to change.
Jarod smiles a little and carries the pile of clothes to the register, leaning a hip against it and waiting for her to come out. Miss Parker comes walking out, the last dress in her hand. She places it on top of the others and walks towards the back of the store, grabbing a couple pairs of satin, relatively skimpy panties, as well as some matching bras. She heads back to the
register, and the saleslady walks over to ring them up. Miss Parker pays for everything, and pulls out the skirt and blouse set, as well as a pair of the panties. “I’m going to just wear these.” She mutters to the saleslady.
“Okay, feel free to use the dressing room.” The saleslady refrains from looking at Miss Parker’s face as she hands her a receipt and walks off to another part of the store.
Miss Parker sighs and looks at Jarod. “I’ll be right back. Actually, why don’t you take this stuff out to the car, I’ll be changed by the time you’re done, and be out to toss what I’m wearing in there. Okay?”
Jarod smiles. “Okay.” He picks up the packages. “See you in a few minutes,” he murmurs, heading out of the shop.
Miss Parker walks back into the dressing room and strips, staring at herself in the mirror again. She cautiously touches a couple of the bruises on her breasts, flinching a little. She sighs and does the same to her shoulders, then her thighs. She turns around, looking at the couple of marks on her back, the dark, finger-shaped bruises on the upper backs of her thighs, creeping onto her ass. “Shit” she mutters, closing her eyes. She takes a couple of deep, steadying breaths and pulls the panties on slowly, cringing the tiniest bit as they brush over her sore inner thighs. Pulling the skirt on, then the shirt, she takes a breath and picks up Jarod’s clothes, heading out of the store to the car. Jarod smiles gently at her, leaning against the driver’s door. He stands straight and takes his clothes from her, tossing them into the back seat of the car. “Ready to walk some more?” he asks softly, some part of his mind knowing instinctively what she’d just done, staring at herself in the mirror. He reaches out slowly and takes her hand, kissing her fingertips gently.
“Sure.” Miss Parker smiles a little, squeezing his hand. “Where to?”
“Further on down the road,” Jarod drawls. “We’re going to the hobby shop.” He grins. “How would you like to paint? Or color? Or cross stitch?” He shrugs. “I love doing all of the above.”
Miss Parker lets out a small chuckle. “Um . . . I don’t really know how, but what the hell, I need to learn to do something distracting.”
“Distractions are a key,” he says softly, leading her into the hobby shop. “Pretty much anything you could think of is here.” He nods his head toward an opposite wall. “And there are hundreds of books over there. Old, fanciful, fairy tale happy ending kind of books.”
“Well, I’ll take your advice on this one, what do you recommend doing?” She looks around. “I’ll try anything right about now.”
“I recommend the paint by numbers for beginners at wasting time,” he murmurs. “Also cross stitch if you feel like being insanely precise. . . . The books are perfect for an inability to sleep when you’re exhausted. . . I can even read some to you, if you’d like.” He smiles. “It’s pretty much whatever strikes you.” He widens his eyes and smiles a little wider. “There’s always
balloon animals,” he says brightly.
“Balloon animals?” Miss Parker raises an eyebrow. “Okay . . .” She wanders back towards the paint by number kits. “I like the sound of that you reading to me thing. Whatever strikes you,” she murmurs, tilting her head towards the books, kneeling down and going through the paint by numbers. She pulls out an orca whale jumping out of the water and smiles, putting it
to her side and continuing to look.
Jarod walks over to the books and picks out ten that catch his eye immediately. He looks a little more carefully and pull out five more. He walks them to the counter and sets them there, moving over to where she’s kneeling in front of the paint by numbers. He smiles at her selection and picks out a unicorn taking flight in a sky filled with musical notes. “Done, or more busy work?” he asks, smiling.
Miss Parker glances up at him, a kit with a puppy chasing a butterfly in her hand. She picks up the orca and nods. “Done.” She says, smiling and standing up.
Jarod looks at her choice. “A puppy chasing a butterfly,” he murmurs to her back. “Who’d of thunk it.” He walks up to the register and pays for their purchases.
Miss Parker shuts her eyes, chuckling quietly. “It called to me. I have no clue.” She takes his hand, holding it tightly. “Now what?”
“Now. . .. whatever you like.” He smiles and kisses her forehead gently. “More clothes . . . Food. . . name it, it’s yours.”
Miss Parker quirks her lips. “Hmm. No more shopping. I’m not hungry. What else is there to do down here?”
Jarod shrugs a little. “Not much in Makuwa. But we could drive further into town. There’s a nice club. . . a movie theater. . dancing. . . a pool hall. . . a bowling alley. . . we could find a beach and just sit on it. . or go back to the hut and play with our toys,” he grins. “We could always drive the road to Hana,” he says brightly.
Miss Parker shrugs. “How about if we get some food to go and head back. I’m . . . getting worn out. My body just hurts. Still.”
Jarod nods slowly. “I’m sure it does,” he murmurs. “You are badly hurt.” He runs a hand down her cheek. “How would you like to drive for twenty minutes and eat at the Hard Rock Café?”
“I can sit down, right?” Miss Parker smiles a little. “Sounds good.” She sighs. “God, I’m so fucked up right now. I hope I don’t kill any perky waitresses.”
Jarod leads her back to the car and opens her door, walking around to his own and hopping in. “If you get close to killing any perky waitresses, just tap me on the shoulder and I’ll make her go away,” he says softly.
“I appreciate that.” Miss Parker leans her head back against the seat and closes her eyes, letting out a sigh. She brings a knee up and holds it against her chest, her eyes still shut tightly.
“Still here?” Jarod asks softly after she’d been like that for almost three minutes.
Miss Parker sighs again. “Yeah. Kinda.” She remains sitting exactly the same way, only her mouth moving.
“Can I do anything? Or should I just let you be until we get there?” he asks, turning onto the big road.
Miss Parker opens one eye, looking at him. She reaches a hand out andtouches his cheek gently, running her fingers over his skin. “You’re here, that’s enough.”
Jarod takes a deep breath and glances at her quickly, then back at theroad. “I’m glad I can help,” he whispers in a soft, broken voice. “I’m glad I can help you, at least a little bit.”
“You help more than you know.” Miss Parker runs her hand back over his head, running her fingers through his hair. “You help me so much.”
Jarod shuts his eyes for a moment, then opens them quickly, focusing on the road. “You don’t know how many times I’ve wished you’d touch me like that,” he whispers hoarsely. “You have no idea how much I wanted you to so many times,” he mutters, a bit ashamed of himself for bringing it up right now.
Miss Parker smiles softly, continuing to run her fingers through his hair gently. “Tell me.” she murmurs. “I want to know.”
Jarod sucks in a deep breath. “Sometimes. . . at night usually. . . I’d let my mind wander enough so I wasn’t on guard. . . I wasn’t denying to myself how I really felt.” He sighs. “I just used to go inside myself and dream about. . . holding you. And more importantly, having you hold me. Having you run your fingers through my hair,” he smiles. “Just like that.” He clears
his throat. “And when I was hurt. . . in the hospital. . . or just unconscious. .. I’d want you there. I’d need you there, holding my hand, stroking my forehead. .. making me feel better.” He shakes his head a little, and almost blushes, as though just now realizing what he’d been saying. “Sorry,” he mutters. “Too much information.”
Miss Parker takes a shaky breath, her hand still stroking his hair. “No it’s not. I asked.” She smiles a little. “I wanted to know. Thank you for telling me.” She studies his profile. “You okay?”
Jarod shakes his head a little. “No,” he whispers. “I’m not.” He looks at her quickly, then back to the road, pulling off into a large town. “But it’s really not important right now,” he says softly. “It can be important later. But it’s not right now.”
“You sure?” Miss Parker brushes her hand over his hair a final time. “Because if it’ll be important later, it is important now. I can wait to hear whatever it is, but are you sure you can wait to say it?”
Jarod nods a little. “I’m sure I can wait to say it, and I’m definitely sure you can wait to hear it,” he murmurs softly, pulling into the parking lot for the Hard Rock Café. “We’re here.”
“Okay, we’ll talk later.” Miss Parker gets out of the car and waits for him to get out. She takes his hand and starts walking towards the restaurant. “I do want to hear whatever is going on in your head though.”
“I know you do,” he murmurs. “And I promise, I’ll tell you when we can both deal with it.”
Miss Parker squeezes his hand. “Okay. Come on, let’s go get some food. I think I may actually be hungry.”
“Really?” Jarod asks, excited. “That’s a good sign,” he says softly. He leans over and kisses her temple gently. “A very good sign,” he whispers.
“Yeah. Really.” She smiles. “And I hope so”
~~~~~
Back at the hut, a few hours later, Miss Parker sits on the bean bag chair, leaning against the couch. She looks up at Jarod, who’s sitting just above her and to her right. “Can we talk now?” she asks quietly. “And I mean talk, not the cryptic conversations we were attempting while we were in town.”
Jarod takes a deep breath. “Are you sure you’re ready to have this conversation?” he asks in a gentle wary tone.
Miss Parker sighs. “Jarod, I need to get back to being normal, to reality. And if I keep running from things I’m not ready for, I may never be ready for them.” She shuts her eyes for a brief moment, then opens them, placing a hand on his knee. “I want to
have this conversation. Please.”
Jarod slowly slides off the couch so he’s sitting next to her. He pulls his knees up and leans his arms on them, resting his head on one hand. “All right then,” he says in a soft tone. “We’ll have a real conversation. Ask me anything. I cannot tell a lie.” He grins a little. “I heard that on television.”
Miss Parker chuckles softly. “What was going on in the car? What was wrong that was shelved?”
Jarod looks around the hut, then back to her face. “Nothing’s. . . .wrong,” he says slowly. “It’s just. . .something that has to be dealt with, and I’m honestly not sure where to begin.” He sighs. “Hell, I’m wrong, there *is* something wrong. It’s very wrong, and I found out about it approximately two days before you showed up.” He looks at her carefully. “Raines is dead,” he says softly, “and he was my father.”
“Oh lord.” Miss Parker shuts her eyes a moment, placing a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry. Sorry that the man who put you through so much hell was your father.” She opens her eyes and moves her hand to his head, stroking his hair. “So they finally managed to find a way to kill the devil?” she asks quietly.
Jarod shakes his head a little. “Nope. The devil just decided to die,” he whispers in a ragged voice. He shuts his eyes. “Raines’ oxygen tank got shut off while he was sleeping. But Raines slept in a locked room no one could get into. It was. . . is. . . a mystery.” Jarod sighs deeply and leans his head into her hand. “I don’t know how to reconcile that monster being my
father,” he says in a low, scared, confused little boy voice.
Miss Parker sits up on her knees and wraps her arms around his shoulders. “And I don’t know what to tell you. I’m so sorry Jarod.”
Jarod closes his eyes and moves his head, leaning it against her shoulder gently. “You know what that means,” he murmurs. “Raines is the one who killed your mother,” he whispers. “If you believe what Fenigore said.”
“I know. The thought already occurred to me.” Miss Parker rests her cheek against the top of his head, one of her hands stroking his hair back. “Don’t think about that right now. It’s not important. No, it is, but it’s not something that needs focus right now.”
Jarod shuts his eyes tighter and rubs his cheek against her shoulder lightly. “This is what I dreamed of,” he murmurs softly. “Is this. . . .your holding me like this just because I needed you to.”
Miss Parker runs her hand down his back, the other still stroking his hair. “It’s not a dream Jarod. I’m here.” She whispers against his hair. “I’m here.” She smiles a little. “You’ll be okay.”
“So will you,” he whispers back, wrapping his arms around her waist. “We’ll both be okay.” He smiles a little. “Eventually.”
“Yep, eventually, we’ll both be fine.” Miss Parker turns her head the slightest bit, kissing the top of his head.
Jarod sighs in contentment, moving his mouth against her shoulder. “You make me feel safe too,” he whispers. “You’re the only thing in my entire life that ever has.”
“You are safe Jarod.” Miss Parker kisses his hair again. “I know you haven’t been safe with me in the past, but you are now. I don’t see how you can trust that as easily as you seem to be, but it’s the truth, and I just wanted you to hear it.”
“I trust because when you walked through that door you may have been hurt, and scared and broken, but you weren’t the woman who’s been chasing me for the last two years.” He takes a deep breath. “I saw so much in your eyes. . . the fear. . . the desolation. . . the numbness. . . the pain. . . but I also saw something I hadn’t seen in years.” He kisses her shoulder again. “I saw my best friend. And I trusted you implicitly again. Just like that,” he whispers.
Miss Parker leans her head back and looks at him. She shuts her eyes for a moment, then leans down and kisses his temple. “Wow. I didn’t realize you knew me that well. I guess I should have.” She kisses his cheek softly.
Jarod sighs a little against her, moving his head and kissing her cheek softly. “I know you better then I know myself,” he whispers. “At least the important stuff. The stuff that makes you Melina.”
“And that’s probably the stuff I don’t know about myself that well.” Miss Parker purses her lips in avoidance of biting her lip. “I guess I need you around to pay attention to it.” She runs her hand down his cheek. “And for so much more than that.”
Jarod’s eyes flutter closed, leaning his face into her hand. “Now who’s being cryptic?” he asks softly, smiling gently at her, letting her know he’s only teasing.
“Me.” Miss Parker answers in a small voice, laced with a bit of laughter. She presses her lips against his forehead. “I just need you around Jarod, to be my rock when I need it, to be my friend all the time, to let me take care of you when you need it.” she smiles. “I need you.” she murmurs simply.
Jarod shuts his eyes again and kisses her chin. “You have me,” he tells her softly. “You always have and you always will, whenever you need me.” He kisses her cheek. “And I do need you too. Now and always. Believe it or not, you’re my rock too.”
“So I guess we’re stuck with each other.” Miss Parker murmurs, wrapping her arms back around him. “Not that I’m complaining.” She takes a deep breath. “Are you okay?” she asks softly. “Or at least better?”
Jarod shakes his head a little. “I’m okay, but not better,” he whispers. “I still don’t know how to reconcile anything - an emotion I’m sure you’re familiar with. But I do know I will able to someday.” He looks up at her. “Let me know when it’s someday for you, okay?”
Miss Parker smiles softly. “I will.” She shuts her eyes, swallowing hard. “Oh Jarod . . .” she murmurs, sighing. “fuck it,” she mutters almost inaudibly. She leans her head down and kisses his lips as softly as she can. She pulls her head back a little and stares at him, a slightly scared look on her face.
Jarod blinks a couple of times, staring into her eyes. “Melina,” he whispers softly. “Did you just. . .” He takes a breath. “I mean I know you just. . .” he licks his lips and leans forward, kissing the corner of her mouth gently, quickly. “Why are you scared?” he whispers finally.
“Fear of rejection.” Miss Parker mutters. “Fear of not being able to ever do that without freaking out.” She takes a deep breath. “All unwarranted, I guess. Just residual terror.”
Nodding slowly, Jarod moves a hand up, brushing the hair out of her eyes. “Can I kiss you again?” he asks softly, the question asking more then just the obvious.
Miss Parker shuts her eyes a moment. “Yeah,” she whispers, opening her eyes, staring into his.
Jarod leans forward and brushes his lips over hers in the lightest of touches. He moves back a little, his face about an inch from hers. “Still scared?” he asks softly.
Swallowing hard, Miss Parker nods. “But not of you. Of me. Of other things, not relating to you at all.”
Jarod smiles a little. “I understand,” he whispers. “I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t me. I don’t want you to ever be afraid of me Melina,” he says, brushing her cheek with his fingertips.
“I couldn’t be scared of you Jarod.” Miss Parker turns her head a little and kisses his fingertips. “I trust you too much to be scared of you.”
Jarod leans his forehead against hers. “I’m glad,” he whispers. “There’s so much I want to tell you. . . . so much I need to tell you I know you’re not ready to hear, I know I’m not ready to say. . .” He takes a deep breath. “Melina I trust you with my life. and I absolutely adore you,” he whispers, his eyes tightly shut, his forehead against hers still.
Miss Parker brings a hand up to his face, stroking his cheek. “I know Jarod. I . . . I feel the same way about you. You mean so much to me. I’d be completely lost without you, and Jarod, I care about you so much.” She tilts her head a little, kissing him incredibly gently against his lips.
Jarod kisses her back, just as gently, his hand resting against her cheek, his other cradling the back of her head. “You’re everything in the world that matters to me Melina,” he whispers against her mouth. “Everything.”
“Can we make up the bed and lay down?” Miss Parker asks in a soft voice. “I need to stretch out a little, and I want to hold you while I do.”
Jarod nods. “Sure,” he whispers. He stands up and pulls her behind him. He pulls out the bed and quickly and efficiently makes it, tossing a blanket on the end in case it got cold later. He turns to her. He furrows his eyebrows. “You forgot to buy pajamas today, didn’t you?”
Miss Parker raises an eyebrow. “Yep. I knew I was forgetting something. Oh well, you have a t-shirt I can borrow?”
“Always,” Jarod says with a smile. He walks over to the closet and pulls out a gray t-shirt, the largest he has. He walks back over to her and hands it to her. “There you go,” he murmurs.
“Thanks.” Miss Parker takes the shirt and turns her back on him, pulling the blouse over head and replacing it with the t-shirt. She pulls the skirt off and tosses them both over a chair. She sits down on the bed and scoots back to where she can lay down comfortably. “Joining me?” she asks softly.
Jarod nods. “Yea,” he murmurs, stripping off the short’s he’d been wearing and lying down in his t-shirt and boxers. He lays down next to her, placing his hand lightly on her hip. He leans forward and kisses her cheek softly. “Are you cold?” he asks in a whisper.
Miss Parker shakes her head, wrapping one arm around his shoulders, the other around his waist. “Nope, I’m fine. Just hold me.”
Jarod smiles and wraps both his arms around her. “I can do that,” he murmurs. He lays his head down by hers on the pillow and places a kiss against the bridge of her nose. “Do you think you can sleep?” he asks in the softest of voices. “Or would you rather just lie here like this, talking about everything and nothing?”
“Yeah, that.” Miss Parker smiles a little. “I don’t think I can sleep just yet. It may be a few more days before I can do more than close my eyes. But I can deal with just talking.”
Nodding, Jarod runs a hand down her back, holding her lower back firmly. His other hand moves up between her shoulder blades, cupping her neck. “So. . . . what’s your sign?” he asks in his best lounge lizard impression.
Miss Parker groans loudly, burying her head into the pillow. “Please *god* tell me you didn’t just ask me that.” she pleads softly.
“I didn’t just ask you that,” he says in a ‘no skin off my nose’ tone of voice. “How about. . . what’s a gorgeous intelligent woman like you doing with a guy like me?”
“Being happier and more taken care of and cared about than I would be with anyone else.” Miss Parker lifts her head and moves it to his shoulder. “Caring about you above anyone else, and taking care of you, trying to make you happy.”
Jarod places his lips against her forehead. “You do make me happy,” he whispers. “You make me happy every time you smile.” He smiles against her skin. “You have no idea what your smile does to me,” he murmurs throatily.
Miss Parker smiles gently at him. “Tell me, what does my smile do to you?”
Jarod brushes his lips over her forehead again. “It makes me believe that everything’s gonna be okay,” he whispers. “It makes me believe in fairy tales, and happily ever after. Your smile can light my darkest nightmare and bring warmth to my coldest night.” He squeezes her to him. “Your smile is magic to me,” he whispers.
Miss Parker smiles again, shutting her eyes, and brushing her lips against his cheek. “I think that’s the single most wonderful thing anyone’s ever said to me.” she takes a deep breath. “You know exactly what to say to make me feel beautiful and wanted, you know that?”
“You are beautiful and wanted,” he whispers. “You always have been to me.” He kisses her temple gently. “And I’m glad I can make you feel that way. You’ve needed to be able to feel it for a long time now.”
“Yes I have.” She murmurs a little sadly. “I forgot how to feel like this. I’m slowly remembering, thanks to you.”
“I don’t like it when you’re not happy,” he whispers. “It makes me not happy.” He moves the fingers of the hand on her lower back gently, fluttering them. “I hadn’t realized it was possible to be this connected to another human being until the first time you got shot and I actually felt it,” he says softly, in a tone that still demonstrates his awe, as used to it as he is.
“It’s possible,” Miss Parker says softly. “But not a usual occurrence.” She moves a hand up, cupping his jaw. “I guess you could say we got lucky.”
Jarod leans down and kisses her lips gently. “I’m the luckiest man on earth,” he whispers. “I’m holding you in my arms. It doesn’t get any better.”
Miss Parker smiles a little. “I don’t think it does. This is so nice Jarod. I didn’t think I could be this peaceful, ever.”
Jarod smiles against her temple. “That’s music to my ears,” he whispers. “Can I do anything for you?” He need,” he murmurs.
Miss Parker tightens both arms around him again. “I have what I need Jarod, right here. Even that piece of mind I can’t seem to grasp. It’s all in my arms.”
Jarod shuts his eyes tightly and pulls her to him tighter. “So. . . I’m helping you find piece of mind?” he asks, trying for a light tone and not totally succeeding.
“Yes,” Miss Parker whispers. “Among other things, yes you are.”
~~~~~
Miss Parker sits on the arm of the couch, staring out at the water, a blank look on her face. Her knees are pulled up to her chest, her arms wrapped tightly around them, her cheek resting on top of them. Jarod slowly puts down the pineapple he was peeling and walks over to the couch, sitting down behind her. “Where are you Melina?” he asks gently.
Miss Parker continues staring out, oblivious to the fact that he had spoken. A couple tears slip down her cheeks, unnoticed. She tightens her arms, as though a self-defense mechanism.
Jarod reaches a hand out to her back, then stops itself, knowing she isn’t expecting a touch - or worse, that she is - and instead letting it drop back to his side. “Melina,” he says a bit more firmly. “Come back.”
Miss Parker turns her head, burying it in her arms, a silent sob wracking her body. She lifts her head again, blinking furiously. She focuses her eyes on Jarod and blinks a few more times. “Jarod?” she asks softly.
“Yea baby,” he whispers, lifting his hand to her face to brush some of her hair away. “It’s me.”
Jumping a little at his touch, Miss Parker scoots away from him as far as she can. “What . . . where . . . what happened?” she finally gets out, in a lost voice.
Jarod opens his mouth, then closes it. “What,” he clears his throat. “What’s the last thing you remember?” he asks in the softest tone he can manage.
“I was . . .” Miss Parker takes a deep breath. “I don’t know. I don’t know what was going on. I know I was being hurt . . .” She looks helplessly at Jarod, then around the hut. “Where are we?” She asks in a lost voice. “How did I get here?”
“You’re in a small hut on a beach in Maui,” he whispers. “I don’t know the exact specifics of how you got here, because you didn’t tell me. I just know that you came here because you needed me,” he says simply.
Miss Parker curls into herself more. “What happened to me Jarod? My whole body hurts so badly.”
Jarod takes a deep, shuddering breath. “I know it does,” he whispers. He clears his throat. “You were hurt. Some men hurt you very badly,” he whispers. “They kept you. . . somewhere for days, I think. . . .” Jarod shuts his eyes tightly, fighting the images assaulting him, the images that had been haunting him since he first laid eyes on her a few days ago. “They did very wrong things to you,” he says in a hoarse voice, fisting his hands at his sides to keep from reaching out to her.
“There were two of them,” Miss Parker murmurs, slowly remembering, staring at the corner on the room. “I think . . . did they,” she takes a breath, another sob escaping. “Did they rape me?” she asks in the smallest of voices.
Jarod shuts his eyes tightly, a single tear escaping out the corner of one eye. He wipes it away quickly, almost angrily. “Yes,” he manages to get out in a hoarse voice. “Yes, they raped you.”
Miss Parker tightens her arms again, burying her head in the crook of her arm. “Am I okay?” she questions softly. “Physically? Obviously not mentally, I can’t even remember what the hell happened.”
“I. . .haven’t done as thorough examination as I’d of liked,” he whispers. “But everything on the surface is okay.” He looks at her. “You really should see a Doctor,” he says softly. “I can do it, but if you’d rather have someone else. . .” he trails off.
“No.” Miss Parker shakes her head almost venomously. “No one else. There was a reason I came to you, and I won’t . . . I can’t be around other people.” She shuts her eyes tightly. “Can you do whatever you have to later?” she sighs shakily. “Just please, don’t hurt me more,” she begs, her voice breaking.
Jarod takes a couple of labored breaths. “I would cut out my own heart before I would hurt you,” he says in a shaky voice. “But I can’t promise you the examination won’t hurt.” He looks at her with sad eyes. “You’re hurt so badly. . . I’m afraid it probably will hurt. And I’m sorry it’s necessary.” He takes another breath. “And of course it can wait. It can ait until you’re ready,” he whispers. “Or until you can handle it, at least.”
“Okay.” Miss Parker lifts her head and looks at him. “As long as it’s the examination, not you that hurts me, I think . . .” she trails off. She drops a hand and fists it around a pillow. She picks it up and angrily throws it across the room, knocking a small vase off a shelf. It falls to the floor, shattering. “Why?!” she screams towards the heavens, at no one in particular.
Jarod folds his arms across his chest, holding in a scream of his own. “I don’t know,” he says in a small voice. “I don’t know why or how they could’ve hurt you like that. I don’t think we’ll ever know,” he whispers.
Miss Parker lets out an animalistic scream, followed by another. She leans a little on the couch, lying down and curling back into a ball, alternately sobbing and screaming, ccasionally pounding her fists into the couch cushions.
Jarod holds his hands at his sides helplessly. He gets off the couch and kneels on the floor so that his face is level with hers. “Melina,” he whispers. “I’m going to touch you. Is that okay?” he asks softly.
Miss Parker stares blankly at him, momentarily ceasing all movement. “You’re asking permission?” she asks, confused. “They didn’t ask.” She whispers quietly.
Jarod swallows down a tide of rage that threatens to overtake him. “I know they didn’t,” he whispers softly, “but I am. I will never do anything you don’t want me to.”
Squeezing her eyes shut, Miss Parker swallows. “Where are you going to touch?” she asks in a lost, terrified voice.
“Just your back,” he whispers. “I’m just going to run my hand down your back. . . . maybe rub it gently. . . your hair, your head. . . brush your hair away from your face. . . wipe your tears away . . .” he takes a deep, shuddering breath. “That’s all,” he whispers in a shaky voice.
Miss Parker swallows again, nodding once. “Okay.” she whispers, already flinching slightly, from the thought of being touched.
Jarod places his hand gently on her back. He doesn’t move, he just keeps it there. His other hand moves up to her hair, brushing it away from her face, his thumbs moving down and gently wiping away the tears on her cheeks. “If you’d rather I not touch you,” he whispers hoarsely, “I won’t.”
Miss Parker shudders a little at every touch. “It doesn’t matter,” she mutters. “Nothing matters. Not what I want, not what I feel, nothing. It doesn’t matter, it’s not important.” More tears run down her face. “Nothing’s important. Not anymore.”
“You’re important to me,” he whispers, moving his hand up and down her back gently. “You’re the most important thing in the world to me.” He sighs and wipes another tear away from the corner of his eye, telling himself to stop it, he needs to stop it. “And so much matters. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but there’s a lot of stuff that matters.” He takes a breath. “You matter,” he whispers. “What you want, what you need, what you feel, who you are, it all matters to me,” he whispers hoarsely.
“Why?” She asks brokenly. “Why do you care about some stupid bitch who’s been trying to ruin your life who finally got what she deserved?” another sob wracks her body as she curls into herself more.
Jarod moves both his hands up to her face and cups her cheeks in his hands, forcing himself to ignore it when she cringes. He waits until she looks at him. “You did *not* deserve this,” he says in a tight, controlled voice. “You are not stupid and you did not deserve this.” He moves his fingers over her temples extremely gently. “I care about you Melina,” he whispers. “You’re my best friend. And no matter what you’ve ever done to me in the past, it’ll never change.” He kisses her forehead softly. “You’re everything to me,” he whispers. “You’re the air I breathe and that’s why I care.”
Miss Parker slides off the couch, forcing his hands from her face and pounding her fists into his chest. “Don’t fucking touch me.” she screams. “No one should ever touch me. No one should look at me. I’m not good for anyone, I just cause pain to those round me.” She continues to hit him, not too hard, but hard enough, tears streaming down her face. “There’s nothing salvageable in me, if there had been, they took it.”
Jarod stands in front of her with his hands at his sides, letting her hit him. “I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to,” he whispers. “And I won’t look at you if it bothers you.” He takes a deep breath. “But I won’t - I can’t - stop caring about you.” He keeps his hands at his sides, curling them into fists. “You don’t bring me pain,” he whispers. “I admit, there was a time when the things you did brought it on, but *you*, my best friend, this wonderful, intelligent woman has always brought me nothing but amusement and joy,” he whispers in a voice that breaks only slightly as a couple more tears run down his cheeks.
Miss Parker continues hitting him, the blows softening every second. She focuses on his face, sees his tears. She lands a couple more punches to his chest and falls against him, curling her hands around his shirt and sobbing against his chest. “I’m sorry.” She whispers against him.
“Don’t be,” he whispers, finally moving his arms around her, his hands on her lower back. “Don’t be sorry to me.”
Miss Parker clutches his shirt, still sobbing into his chest. After a few minutes, she sags against him, completely spent of energy, her legs weak and unable to hold her body up. She wraps her fingers around his shoulders, trying to keep from falling. “But I am sorry Jarod.” she whispers.
Jarod wraps his arms around her back tighter, backing up and sitting down on the couch, ringing her with him, keeping his arms wrapped around her. “Why?” he asks, truly confused.
“Because I’m putting you through this.” Miss Parker curls her legs up under her on the couch. “Because this is hurting you, because I’m hurting you.” She takes a couple of deep breaths. “And I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” he says again, softly. “I’d rather be in pain with you then happy with anyone else,” he whispers against her temple, kissing her there softly.
Miss Parker lays her head on his chest, shutting her eyes. “And I’m sorry for that,” She murmurs. “Sorry that you’d rather be with me than with someone who can actually make you happy, and be happy with you. I’m not worth being in pain over Jarod.”
“But you are,” he says, his voice cracking a little. “You’re worth anything - everything - to me.” He runs his hand down her back. “And you do make me happy,” he promises in a whisper. “You give me a joy that shines from within that simply doesn’t exist without you.”
“I need to rest Jarod.” Miss Parker mutters, changing the subject abruptly. “I need to be alone for a little while.” She leans back from him and curls herself back up on the opposite side of the couch.
Jarod takes a deep breath, staring at her for a moment. “I’ll go for a walk along the beach,” he whispers softly. “Can I get you. . . . anything?” he asks helplessly.
“No.” she curls up tighter, shutting her eyes. “Just . . . I’ll be okay.” she tries to even her breathing, attempting to rest, maybe even sleep.
Jarod forces himself to stand, forces himself to walk to the door. “I’ll be back soon,” he says, his voice half promise, half warning. He forces himself to walk out the door.
Miss Parker opens her eyes for a moment, then shuts them again. She tries, for a while, to rest, unsuccessfully, and sighs, sitting up and staring out the window again, her arms wrapped back around her knees, her face pressed against her arm.
~~~~~
Jarod stands and stretches his stiff muscles. He looks down at his watch. He’d spent the last thirty minutes sitting outside the hut and he hadn’t heard a sound from inside the entire time. He walks back in the door and sees her, sitting on the couch in the same position she’s been in for the last thirty minutes. He slowly walks over to her and sits down on the floor in front of her. “Melina?” he asks in a whisper soft voice.
Miss Parker turns her head, looking down at him. “Jarod. I am so sorry you had to deal with that.” she murmurs, bringing a hand down and cupping his cheek. “I don’t know what happened. I just . . . went away, I guess.”
He smiles a little. “Welcome back,” he whispers softly. “I missed you.” He moves his hand up to her cheek, brushing her hair back and cupping it gently. “And I’ll tell you again - don’t be sorry. Not to me, not about this.” He shuts his eyes for a moment, then looks at her. “If I didn’t want to be here with you through this, I wouldn’t be.”
“I know.” Miss Parker sighs and slides off the couch, sitting next to him on the floor. She runs a hand down his chest. “I’m mostly sorry I hit you. You didn’t deserve that.” She kisses the tips of her fingers, and presses them against his chest.
“If it means that much to you, I’ll accept your apology for that,” he murmurs. He smiles a little wider. “You sure do pack a mean wallop lady,” he mutters good naturedly.
“When I’m that upset, I know.” She sighs, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. “Did I hurt you?”
Jarod lays his cheek against hers. “No,” he whispers. “Didn’t even feel it that much.” He wraps his arms tightly around her back.
“Don’t lie to me.” Miss Parker turns her head a little and kisses his cheek. “I know you’re trying to protect me, but don’t. Please.”
Jarod shuts his eyes and sighs. “I think you may have bruised a couple of ribs, and I’m pretty sure I’ll be black and blue from about clavicle to stomach for awhile,” he murmurs extremely reluctantly.
“I figured I had done some damage.” Miss Parker sighs, tightening her arms a little. “I was so upset. I was fighting myself with that one. And whatever, wherever I was, it won out.” She drops her head and kisses over his chest a couple times.
Jarod moves one hand up her back to her hair, stroking the back of her head gently, running his fingers through her hair. “It’s okay,” he murmurs. “It’ll heal, and you needed to get that out.” He smiles a little. “I’d been waiting for something like that.”
“Me too.” She whispers. She shuts her eyes and takes a deep breath. “You said something about wanting to examine me a little better? Can we get that over with?”
Jarod licks his lips. “What I’m talking about is the exam an OBGYN would’ve given you had you gone to the hospital,” he says slowly. “To do this, we could either drive into town to the hospital. I have a friend there who would let me examine you alone, just using his equipment.” He takes another breath. “Or I could do a less thorough exam here, but. . . .” He shuts his eyes for a moment. “If I do it here, there are a few things I won’t be able to check for.”
“I know. I know what you’re talking about, and what needs to be done.” Miss Parker sighs. “I just want to get it done. And it’s up to you as to whether we go into town or not, I don’t care. I want it over with.”
Jarod swallows. “If we’re gonna do it, we might as well do it right,” he murmurs. “Let’s go,” he whispers, unwrapping his arms from around her and tugging her arms.
“Okay.” Miss Parker stands up. “How long is it going to take to get there?” she asks softly, wringing her hands slightly.
“Twenty minutes. . . . ten if I ignore all speed laws known to man or woman,” he murmurs softly, smiling.
“Let’s go.” Miss Parker tucks one of her hands into his. “And promise me you’ll take me out for ice cream on the way home.” She requests in a little girl voice.
“I promise,” he whispers. “Your favorite flavor and macadamia nut ice cream - the island specialty.” He smiles at her. “What is your favorite flavor?” he asks, squeezing her hand a little and walking them out the door.
“Chocolate chip cookie dough.” Miss Parker smiles a little shakily. “Thank you Jarod, for everything. I know I keep saying that, but I need to keep saying it.”
“Then go ahead and say it,” he smiles at her, opening her car door. “You don’t have to thank me, but if need to, go for it.” He hops in and starts the car. “Onward and upward,” he murmurs, pulling onto the big road.
Miss Parker leans her head on the back of the seat, turning a little and looking at him. “You can do this alone, right? All of it? I don’t want to deal with anyone else, at all.”
Jarod glances at her briefly, then back at the road. “Yea, I can do it alone. In fact, I’d prefer it. I’ve. . . I did this once before,” he whispers. “It’s probably one of the hardest Pretends I had. I think you missed that one.” He sighs. “Don’t worry about anyone else being there. I’ll talk to my friend, get us in an exam room and lock the door until we’re done.”
Miss Parker takes a deep breath. “Yeah, I missed that.” She reaches a hand out and caresses his cheek gently. “I know this is going to be painful, it still really hurts, so I don’t want you to worry about that. I’m expecting some pain, so . . .” She sighs. “That wasn’t me pleading with you not to hurt me, I know you won’t intentionally.”
Jarod tightens his hands on the steering wheel and glances at her, then back at the road. “I know it wasn’t you,” he murmurs, “but the plea was still genuine.” He sighs. “I meant what I said. It will hurt. I don’t see how it won’t.” He takes a deep, shaky breath. “And I’m so sorry in advance for what this is gonna do to you. It’s why I haven’t brought it up before now.”
“I know. I’ve been avoiding it myself. It has been popping up in my mind every so often. Last night, especially, things were too loud up here.” Miss Parker taps her temple lightly. “Something kept nagging at me, one single thought. And I really, really hope that it was just anxiety.” She sighs, running her hand down over her stomach. “But some annoying little voice in my head kept asking ‘what if you’re pregnant?’”
Jarod closes his eyes, then opens them again quickly. “Funny,” he mutters, “I’ve been hearing the same voice.” He sighs. “If you are pregnant. . . . .do you have any idea what you want to do?”
“No, I don’t” Miss Parker sighs, still running her hand over his cheek. “I don’t know if I can handle it. But I’ve also been trying not think about it too much until I know.”
Nodding, Jarod pulls off the main road and into town. “Hospital’s another two minutes away,” he murmurs. “We’ll know everything we need to soon enough.”
Miss Parker nods, staring off into space, resting her hand against his shoulder. She shuts her eyes and leans back, opening her door once they’ve stopped. “Well, let’s get this done.”
Jarod opens his door and hops out, taking her hand again and walking into the hospital. He smiles when he sees a young man in a purple lab coat. “Hey Farley,” he says with a smile.
Farley turns, blonde hair flying. “Jarod!” he calls in classic surfer dude form. “How you doing man?”
Jarod smiles a little and embraces the young man. “Not bad,” he says softly. “Farley, this is my friend, Melina,” he says softly, nodding his head to Miss Parker. “I need an examroom, no questions asked.”
Farley nods enthusiastically. “Sure dude. Right this way.” He leads them to exam room 3. “You’ll have as long as you need.” He smiles at Miss Parker. “Hang tough buddy,” he says softly, turning and walking back to the front desk and fiddling with a chart.
Jarod opens the door and waggles his eyebrows. “Right this way buddy,” he says, smiling softly.
Miss Parker blinks a few times. “I thought you only found the surfer dudes at the beach.” She mutters. She walks into the room and sighs, looking around, then at Jarod, a little lost.
Jarod lays a gentle arm on her shoulder. “It’s the islands man,” he says in his best Jamaican. “Surfer dude’s are all you got.” He shoves her shoulder gently. “Put a gown on - they’re in that cabinet to the left. Then sit down on the table. We’ll draw blood to start with.”
Miss Parker takes a shuddering breath and reaches for a gown, stripping quickly and putting the gown on. She sits down on the table and looks at him expectantly, offering him her arm.
Jarod takes out a needle and quickly draws blood from her. “I’ll be right back,” he murmurs, opening the adjoining door and going into the small lab. He’s gone for about five minutes. He smiles a little, sitting down next to her on the table. “I’m running a couple of tests on the blood,” he says softly. “Pregnancy, STD’s, HIV. . . the works, basically.”
“Always thorough.” Miss Parker smiles a little shakily and takes his hand. “I appreciate
that. Now what?” she asks softly, knowing the answer.
Jarod smiles as best he can. “Now I need you to lie down, and, if it doesn’t bother you too much, put your feet in the stirrups,” he says gently.
Miss Parker leans over and kisses his cheek gently. “I trust you Jarod.” she murmurs, lying down, placing her feet into the stirrups and looking up at him.
Jarod shuts his eyes for a moment and goes to the sink, washing his hands quickly and snapping on a pair of latex gloves. He sits down on a small stool in front of her and begins the examination, moving with the grace, ease and clinical detachment of the greatest Doctor. Inside, however, his mind is screaming. Occasionally, Miss Parker flinches a little, her eyes squeezed tightly shut, her hands curled around the edge of the table. Tears fall out of the corners of her eyes as she forces herself not to close her legs and sit up. Jarod feels tears come to his eyes but he forces them back, forces Dr. Jarod to take the place of the man who loves Melina more then life, the man who wants to kill himself for making her cry. Dr. Jarod assures him this is necessary. It’s for the best, it’s to make sure she’s okay.
“All done,” Jarod croaks softly, standing and taking his gloves off, disposing of them in the waste bin. He slowly walks over to her and lays his hand against the side of her head. He kneels down on the floor, his head resting near hers. “I’m so sorry,” he chokes out.
Miss Parker turns her head, finally opening her eyes, her knees coming together and her legs moving to curl next to her. She places a hand on his cheek and kisses his forehead softly. “It’s okay Jarod. I’m okay. The tears aren’t because of you.” She takes a shaky breath. “Am I okay?” she asks softly.
Jarod nods slowly. “You will be,” he says softly. “You. . . tore. Not enough to warrant stitches, but enough to explain why you’ve been in so much pain.” He looks her in the eye. “There was some. . . bleeding, but it stopped. Luckily, there was no permanent damage.” His eyes are filled with rage and pain. He closes them tightly against the emotions, willing them to stop. “I have never wanted to kill more then I do right now,” he manages through gritted teeth. “I won’t because you’ve asked me not to. But I’ve never wanted to more.”
Miss Parker sucks in a deep breath. She sits up, and takes his hand, tugging him up. “Come here.” She murmurs, pulling him onto the table next to her. She wraps her arms around him and hugs him tightly. “Thank you. And Jarod, don’t feel you have to hide those emotions from me, you don’t.”
Jarod wraps his arms around her and holds her to him tightly. “I just know how much you have to deal with,” he whispers. “I don’t want to add to it. And I know you said it serves as a distraction, I just. . .” he trails off, sighing deeply. “I just want to help make you better. I want to help make you okay. And I feel as though giving you more to worry about - having you worry about me - just adds to the stress you’re under.”
“And I love you for that.” Miss Parker sighs. “But I’ll worry about you anyway, it’s easier on me if I know why I’m worrying.” Jarod shuts his eyes and holds her to him, a little tighter. Did she even realize she’d just said that? He blinks a little as he remembers something. “Do you want to come with me for the results of your tests, or would you rather I go get them, find everything out, and tell you all at once?”
“I’ll come with you.” Miss Parker murmurs, kissing his lips gently. “Just let me get dressed.” She sighs a little, unwrapping herself from him. She puts her clothes back on and leans down next to him, her lips by his ear. “I meant it.” she whispers, kissing his ear gently.
Jarod shuts his eyes for a moment then stands up, placing his arms around her shoulders from behind, pulling her back against his chest. He leans his chin on her shoulder and kisses the skin behind her ear. “I love you Melina,” he whispers softly.
Miss Parker leans back against him, turning her face towards his. “I love you too Jarod.” she murmurs, her eyes shut. “Come on, lets go get those test results. I want to get out of here.”
Nodding, Jarod unwraps his arms from around her and takes her hand, going through the door to the lab. He sits down and finishes some lab work in about five minutes. He examines the result and takes a deep breath. “All STD’s and HIV tests are negative . . . pregnancy test is inconclusive.” He sighs. “I have to run it again.”
Miss Parker lightly bites her lower lip, then sighs. “Damn it, I’m never going to remember to not do that.” She looks at him. “Okay, let’s run the test again.”
Jarod uses her old sample and quickly runs the test. “It’ll be a minute,” he says softly, standing and stretching his back. He walks over to her and lays a hand against her cheek. “Whatever this is,” he says softly, “you’ll get through it, and I’ll be here for whatever you need me for.” He runs his thumb over her lower lip gently. “And you should at least fight the need until you’re healed.”
Miss Parker wraps her arms around his waist, her head on his shoulder. “If it comes out positive, I have no idea what I’m going to do.” She sighs, glancing over his shoulder. “How long?”
Jarod looks at his watch around her back. “Two more minutes,” he says softly. “If it is positive. . . . we’ll talk everything out until you make a decision,” he says softly.
“Yeah.” Miss Parker tightens her arms around him. She takes a deep breath. “God I hate waiting for things. Especially things that could potentially effect my entire life like this.”
“And three. . . two. . .” he smiles. “Close enough,” he mutters, letting her go and walking over to the table. He looks over it quickly and shuts his eyes, letting out a long breath. “Negative,” he murmurs, opening his eyes and looking at her.
Miss Parker sags against the wall, letting out the breath she was holding. “Oh thank god.” She smiles at him a little. “Shall we get out of here? I’m ready to put this shit out of my head for a while.”
Jarod nods. “Let’s blow this pop stand,” he says with a smile, walking toward her and wrapping his arms around her quickly, then grabbing her hand and pulling her after him. “Home or somewhere else?”
“You promised me ice cream.” She reminds him quietly. “And then . . . I don’t know, I could go for a walk on the beach before heading home.”
Jarod kisses her on the cheek softly. “Ice cream it is. And we can walk along a nice little beach I know right by the ice cream store. Sound good?”
“Sounds great.” Miss Parker glances at him. “Should we thank your friend before we take off?”
Jarod shakes his head a little. “Nah. By now, Farley’s probably forgotten we were here,” he says, chuckling a little. “He’s a bit. . . focused on his patients. So much so, nothing else but them seem to exist for him.”
“Okay.” Miss Parker smiles and hugs him. “Let’s go.” She takes his hand, twining their fingers together and heading out of the building.
~~~~~
An hour, two scoops of ice cream and a walk along the beach later, Jarod and Miss Parker enter the hut again. Jarod turns and looks at her, smiling a little. “Would you like to paint, or read or something?” he asks gently.
Miss Parker shakes her head, sitting down on the couch. “No, I just want to be for a while. That was probably the most nerve-wracking hour plus of my life. Not the most traumatic, but pretty close. And I just need to let it flow away from me for a while.”
Jarod nods and sits down next to her, not touching her. “Would you like to be alone, or would you like to be with me?” he asks, smiling softly at her in a slightly impish way he hasn’t since she first arrived.
“What do you think?” Miss Parker smiles softly, leaning her head on his shoulder, her arm going around his waist. “I need you around Jarod. And I want you around.”
“Good,” he murmurs, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, his other moving to feather over her cheeks and her face occasionally. “Because I need to be around you.”
“Are you okay?” she asks quietly. “I know you weren’t earlier, and you haven’t really gotten anything out.”
Jarod smiles a little shakily. “I’m fine,” he says softly. “Or at least I will be.” He looks at her carefully. “Part of what’s wrong with me is that I’m feeling everything you are.” He sighs. “That thing you like to refer to as my super brain has pieced together every detail of what you’ve went through based on how you sleep, where your injuries are, today’s examination. . . and it’s all running in the back of my mind like a miniature movie projector.” He looks her in the eye. “I didn’t think you’d want to know that,” he says slowly, softly.
Miss Parker sighs and leans up, kissing his cheek. “I had hoped you weren’t doing that. Do you want to talk? I can handle it, it might even do me some good, after a while.”
Jarod closes his eyes. “Sometimes,” he begins in a small, soft voice, “I close my eyes at night and I do it. I become everything Sydney taught me to be. I go inside your head and I see it all. . . I feel it all.” He flutters his eyes open and looks at her. “I’ve been inside those moments that haunt you. . . I’m so sorry,” he whispers, his voice cracking. “I’ve never felt that kind of pain. . . and the fear is as strong as my fear of ever going back to the Centre.” He moves a hand to her cheek. “I love you so much Mel,” he murmurs. “And I can’t stop myself from doing it. From putting it all together, from feeling it.”
“I wish you could.” Miss Parker leans her cheek into his hand. “I didn’t want you to go through the emotions I have going on in my head.” She sighs, taking his other hand and bringing it to her lips, kissing the palm gently. “Is there anything you actually want to get into? I really can deal with it, I know you’re trying to spare me, but . . . I want to talk this out with you if you need to.”
“Are you. . . referring to. . . . details?” he asks, almost cringing at the thought of saying some of these things out loud.
“I’m referring to anything in your head you need or want to get out.” She sighs. “Details, feelings, whatever.” She shuts her eyes a moment. “I need to do this too Jarod.”
Jarod runs a hand down her cheek. “While I’m in that. . . . trance, I guess you could call it. . . . I lose track of where I am until I snap out of it.” He takes a breath. “It’s like I become you.” He blinks his eyes a few times. “My wrists feel raw, and ache, as do my ankles. I feel the belt that caused that gash down your stomach grazing against my skin. . . and I feel my head aching from the constant banging against the headboard.” He takes another deep breath. “I can smell their breath and feel it against my skin. . .” his voice cracks a little. “I can feel my heart breaking, and my soul dying as one of them moves only to be replaced by the other.” He shuts his eyes. “God you don’t need this from me. You can’t,” he mutters raggedly.
Miss Parker swallows hard, licking her lips. “Believe it or not Jarod, yes I do.” She whispers in a heartbroken tone. “see, I don’t know some of the things that happened, not consciously, and without that knowledge, I’m going to be haunted by some of those thoughts always.” She takes a breath, leaning into him more. “Sometimes I don’t even have to close my eyes to feel them grabbing me, one of them covering my mouth, the other taking my gun and handcuffing my hands behind me. I can see the inside of the trunk of that car, know exactly what it smelled like. And those small, battery-powered lights in the house, giving off the most eerie glows on the walls. The strips of material they used to tie my ankles and blindfold me, pieces of my own shirt. These are things that I just see, or feel, without anything being done.” She sighs. “That was when I just went inside my head. I had to, to keep from fighting them, and I knew they’d make it worse on me if I did. And then they knocked me out with something. But sometimes I get these flashes of . . . I don’t even know what, but things that had to have happened while I was out. I can occasionally feel their hands pulling at my skin, causing these bruises. Things like that.”
Nodding, Jarod brushes some of her hair off her forehead. “Would it be better for you to remember everything?” he asks slowly. “Or would it be better for it to stay as it is?”
Miss Parker starts to bite her lower lip, and stops herself. She shrugs instead. “I’m not sure. In the long run, it might be better if I know what happened, the things I don’t know are bothering me more than things I do know.”
“What do you remember?” he asks slowly. “Give me something to go on,” he whispers softly.
Miss Parker takes a deep breath. “I remember . . . walking from my car towards my hotel, down this dark alley. Being grabbed from behind, my gun being held to my temple, my hand being cuffed, swinging my arm around, nailing one of them in the face, and getting backhanded across the face with the gun.” She points to her lip. “That was what caused this. I remember my other hand being cuffed, being cracked on the back of the head with the gun, waking up in the trunk of the car, being hauled out, taken into the house.” She takes another deep breath. “Being tied to the bed, my clothes being cut off my body, and used to tie me up the rest of the way. I remember them constantly calling me ‘bitch,’ and then feeling one of them move on top of me. Then the other one. Then they injected me with something. And I blacked out. But within that, I remember little things, one of them saying he knew I wanted it. One of them pulling at my legs, while they were still tied, each of them working over one of my breasts, roughly handling them . . .” she blinks once, at the memories. “That’s about it. And then waking up in my car.”
Jarod nods once, jerkily, his entire body tense. He clears his throat and looks her in the eye. His slowly shut and he leans his head back against the couch, going inside himself, his mind already piecing everything together to make a complete picture. After a moment his eyes fly open and he simply stares at her for a moment, pure horror in his eyes, the only thought running through his mind being that he wanted them *dead*. He wipes a hand down his face and blinks a few times. “Do you want me to vocalize what I just saw, as I saw it?” he asks softly. “Through your eyes.”
Miss Parker nods. “I think so. I need to know.” she stares at him, placing a hand on his cheek. “Can you?” she asks softly.
“I told you,” he whispers softly, leaning forward and kissing her lips softly. “I can do anything for you.” He slowly shuts his eyes again and leans his head back against the couch. After a moment, his face twitches a little. “I’m tied to a bed. . . my ankles are tied to the bottom with pieces of my shirt. . . my wrists are handcuffed above me. . . God the back of my head hurts,” he whimpers softly. “It keeps hitting the headboard. .. right where he hit me with the gun. . . I’m falling in and out of consciousness. . . but there’s this one part of me that’s there. . . that’s always there. . .” He takes a deep, sharp breath. “Jesus he’s moving over me again. His breath smells foul. . . like tequila and onions. I don’t know which is which. . . I don’t want to know.. . I just know one smells like tequila, and the other smells like scotch. His hands grab at me, everywhere at once and it’s too much. . . . I try to scream but I can’t because my mouth is gagged. . . . my lip has stopped bleeding, the blood dried against my bottom lip. When the gag is removed I know it’s going to tear my lip.” His hands tighten helplessly, a few tears seeping out of his eyes. “Oh God he’s inside me. . . inside my body, and inside my head. . . I can hear the other one laughing. . . the laughter,” his voice cracks as more tears run out of his eyes. “As soon as he’s done I don’t even get a minute to breathe before the other one’s on top of me, over me, inside me, hurting me. . . God it hurts so much, nothing’s ever hurt this much before. . .” His eyes shut tighter, his body beginning to shake. “Please just let me die. . . she just wants to die. . .” he mumbles brokenly as his eyes open, scared and disoriented for a moment before he focuses on her face.
Miss Parker sucks in a sharp, shaky breath. She leans forward, wrapping her arms around him, cradling him to her, resting her cheek against the top of his head, tears running down her cheeks. “Oh Jarod . . .” she mumbles. “Sweetie, thank you, but don’t go back there.” She kisses his forehead. “That was more than I wanted, but . . . thanks. Are you all right?”
Jarod moves his face against her shoulder, his tears slowing but not stopping entirely. “No,” he mumbles shakily. “I’m not.” He lifts his head and looks into her eyes, his own haunted and broken. “I can’t stop myself from going back there,” he whispers. “I go back there every time my mind drifts at all.” He takes a deep breath. “This is just the first time I’ve vocalized it.” He looks at her closely. “When you finally pass out for a few minutes every so often, you talk in your sleep,” he says slowly. “I listen to you. I hear what you say. And it feeds on my already furtive imagination and it makes the picture more complete.” His tears have stopped and all that remains on his face are a few tear tracks. “I love you so much,” he whispers hoarsely, “and I’m so sorry for what they did to you.” He takes a deep breath. “I wish I could make this better for you,” he murmurs softly. “I know I can make you feel safe, okay, even happy in the moment. . . but I wish I could take all that came before away and make it better.”
Miss Parker drops her head and kisses away the tear tracks on his face. “Don’t spend your energy trying to fix things that can’t be fixed,” she whispers. “I love you Jarod, and I don’t want you wishing for things that can never be. Use your wishes for things that can become reality. And use your energy for loving me, forgetting things back on track for both of us, not for worrying so much and hating them.” She strokes his hair, still cradling him. “Please. It’s better for both of us.”
“Okay,” he whispers, wrapping his arms around her waist and letting her hold him for now, letting her comfort him for now. “I promise I will try. I can’t promise to stop hating them, but I promise not to focus myself on it.” He moves his cheek a little against her, then moves his head, kissing her shoulder softly. “I love you. And I’ll start wishing for things that can really happen.” He shuts his eyes. “I wish for you to heal, inside and out. I wish for you to be able to let me touch you, or hold you without forcing yourself not to flinch. I wish for you to be able to sleep, to really rest at night when you close your eyes.”
Smiling a little, Miss Parker drops a kiss to the top of his head. “You already got one of those wishes. I don’t have to keep myself from flinching when you touch me anymore. I know it’s you, it’s not bothering me.” She sighs a little. “And I’m starting, slowly, to heal, the outside a little more rapidly, but it’s a start.”
Jarod moves his head up and looks at her. “You’re not forcing yourself anymore?” he asks, a note of joy in his voice he hadn’t felt in days.
“No, I’m not.” She smiles, hugging him tighter. “Sweetie, I trust you with my heart, my soul, my head, and my body. I know you’re not going to hurt me, and I know you’re not going to take advantage of me. So I don’t have to force myself not to jump, run and hide whenever you touch me.” she strokes his cheek. “I even want you to touch me, and hold me.”
Jarod closes his eyes and moves his hands a little over her hips, then tightens his arms around her, running his fingers up and down her spine. He leans forward and kisses the corner of her mouth lightly. “You have no idea what it means to hear you say that,” he whispers. “No idea how much I love you.”
Miss Parker lays back on the couch, pulling him down with her, his head still pressed against her shoulder. She groans a little as her arm brushes her breast. “shit.” She mutters. She smiles and kisses his forehead. “No, I don’t know. Tell me?” she asks softly. “I’d love to know.”
Jarod moves with her, lying half on her half on the couch. “If you want me to move, tell me,” he says softly, wrapping his arms around her back and lying his cheek more comfortably against her shoulder. “How do I love thee?” he murmurs. “Let me count the ways.” He closes his eyes and places a kiss against her shoulder. “I love you from depths of my soul I didn’t know existed before I loved you. You have held my heart in the palm of your hand since before you knew what to do with such a precious gift. You are my everything and your arms is where I feel safe, and where I come home to.” He smiles a little and shakes his head. “I shouldn’t do this. . . . I shouldn’t try to tell you how much I love you because words can’t express it. They can only give you an inkling.”
Miss Parker tightens her arms around him. “You did a pretty good job trying.” She smiles a little, leaning her cheek against his hair. “Thank you for indulging me.” she runs her hand down his back gently. “Are you feeling better?”
Jarod nods a little. “Yea,” he whispers. “You made me feel better. Just like always.” He rubs his nose against her shoulder gently. “Amazing how you did that just by holding me,” he mumbles softly against her.
“I’m glad it worked.” Miss Parker continues stroking his back softly. “Holding you makes me feel better too. It feels so good, so right, to have you in my arms.”
Jarod leans his head up and kisses her chin softly, then lays his head back down, his cheek pressed just above her breast on her shoulder. “Does my lying on you like this hurt?” he asks softly. “Because as good as it feels, I feel like I’m crushing you. And with your injuries. . .” his voice trails off.
“No, it feels fine.” Miss Parker smiles. “I’m okay, a couple of sore spots getting twinges of pain, but those are mostly the ones that get hit even when I’m just sitting alone on the couch. But I want you here.”
“All right,” he murmurs softly, wrapping his arms around her even tighter. “Because I could stay here forever,” he whispers. “I could stay here forever and be very happy.”
“Me too, love.” She leans her head down a little, kissing his temple, then laying hers back against one of the cushions. “Me too.”
~~~~~
Opening her eyes, staring at the ceiling, Miss Parker forces her breathing to slow, not wanting to wake Jarod because of a nightmare. It’s been almost two weeks since their conversation about what happened, and neither of them have brought it up since.
“You okay?” Jarod’s voice, soft and heavy from sleep, drifts to her ears.
“You weren’t supposed to wake up,” she replies, turning her head towards him and smiling softly.
Jarod brings a hand up, brushing a lock of hair back from her face. “Something told me to. What’s going on?”
“Nightmare, nothing big.” Licking her lips, Miss Parker shrugs a shoulder. “I’m okay.”
“I believe you. What were you thinking about?” Leaning his forehead against her cheek, Jarod gently lays a hand on her stomach.
Miss Parker sighs. “Everything. Mostly, them. I came here, and I said I didn’t want to go after them, I didn’t want to kill them, and I lied. I do. But I can’t go after them, the very thought terrifies the hell out of me. And I hate that. I hate being afraid.” Her voice becomes tight with anger and tears. “It’s not who I am. But the thought of seeing them again, even to make them pay for this, is almost paralyzing.”
Tipping his head, Jarod kisses her cheek. “It’s a natural reaction. I know how much you hate it, but Melina, you’re reacting to things totally naturally, and how it’s best for you.”
Miss Parker swallows, and turns her head towards him, leaning back enough to look him in the eye. “That’s the other thing. My reactions to this are not what they should be.”
“What do you mean?”
“Jarod, I shouldn’t be . . . letting you near me. Kissing you. Being held by you.” Blinking, a tear runs down Miss Parker’s cheek. “Those shouldn’t be things I can deal with.”
Jarod lifts his head, an eyebrow raised. “No? But you are. So why are you?”
Miss Parker shurgs a shoulder. “I guess because somewhere in my head, I know that rape isn’t about sex, it’s about violence, and you would never act in a violent manner towards me. I trust you, and I suppose that,” she takes a deep breath. “That’s what’s winning out in my head, and my heart.”
“And it doesn’t feel right.” Jarod states simply, squeezing her to him briefly.
Miss Parker shakes her head. “No, it doesn’t.”
“Melina, all I can tell you is that whatever you’re feeling is right, for you. Because you’re feeling it. I know this really doesn’t make it better, but it’s the truth.” Jarod smiles gently and kisses her earlobe. “I love you, and I won’t push you. You just take whatever time you need for whatever you need, and I’ll be here to hold you, or to let you scream at, or cry on my shoulder. And when you want to, you feel like you can, I’ll be here for you to kiss, and maybe, eventually, make love to. But there is nothing that says you have to want, or do, any of those things in order for me to be here for you.”
Nodding, Miss Parker kisses his cheek, and moves a little, laying her head on his shoulder. “I love you too,” she whispers, and shuts her eyes, relaxing herself into sleep.
~~~~~
A few days later, Jarod sits on the floor painting his unicorn and occasionally advising Miss Parker to go against the color scheme of her Orca. “The water would look great with purple tinges,” he says excitedly.
Miss Parker rolls her eyes. “Okay, you can add them later.” She says around a laugh. “I’m new at this, I’m sticking with the little spaces and the colors that go in them.” she dips her brush into the paint. “I can’t even believe I’m doing this.” She murmurs, painting a wave.
Jarod smiles. “It suits you,” he murmurs, reaching his hand over and brushing a drop of black paint off her chin. “You look good wearing paint.”
Miss Parker grins, brushing a small dab a bright blue on the tip of his nose. “So do you.” she mutters, turning back to her painting.
Jarod stares at her for a moment then takes his paint brush in one hand, putting his other hand out and sticking his thumb up, striking a true artist’s pose. He dips the brush in bright yellow paint and, quick as lightening, paints a small star on her cheek. “Perfection,” he intones impishly.
Miss Parker turns her head, staring at him a moment, quirking her lips. She leans over and dips her brush into his red paint. She leans back, scrutinizing his face, before dashing off a small heart in the middle of his forehead. “That looks *so* good on you,” she murmurs, swallowing back a giggle.
Jarod sighs in resignation. He dips his brush in the icy blue and paints a perfect diamond on the cheek opposite the star. “They *are* a girl’s best friend,” he says, grinning mischievously.
Miss Parker bites her lower lip, for the first time not cringing, and goes for the purple, painting a smiley face on the tip of his nose, over the blue. “Don’t worry, be happy.” She mutters, smiling.
Jarod shakes his head. “Nope,” he murmurs, dabbing his brush in the red and painting a perfect circle on the tip of her nose. “Rudolph belongs on the nose,” he says, grinning wider.
Miss Parker sighs, looking down at the paint, and dips it into the black, painting a small Z on his cheek. “Zorro strikes again.” she wrinkles her nose a little, chuckling.
Jarod laughs and dips his brush in the black as well, moving to her forehead and painting a small X in the center. “And x marks the spot,” he murmurs, chuckling as well.
Miss Parker bites her lip again, in consideration. A huge smiles spreads across her face. “Hey, I can do that again without it hurting.” She grins at him. “Finally.”
Jarod smiles back and leans forward, kissing her bottom lip gently. “That hurt?” he murmurs softly.
“Nope.” Miss Parker shakes her head. “But that hasn’t hurt in days.”
Jarod looks down, mock ashamed. “I know,” he mumbles. “I just wanted to kiss you.” He looks up at her and smiles gently.
Leaning forward, placing her hand on his jaw, Miss Parker kisses his lips gently. “You don’t need an excuse.” She says softly. “Not for that.”
Nodding gently, Jarod leans forward and kisses the tip of her nose, coming away and feeling his lips. “Hmm. . . not bad. Just a smudge.” He grins, holding up his index finger which had just a touch of red on it. “It’s already dried Rudolph,” he says brightly.
Miss Parker scrunches up her nose. “Ick. Dried paint on my face.” She sighs. “and on yours. I suppose I should take a shower anyway, I just haven’t wanted to get up.”
Jarod nods. “I know the feeling. It’s been. . . a couple days.” He sighs. “And as much as I admire your artistic gifts, I’d just as soon not have dried paint on my face for days.” He nods his head toward the tub. “You go first. I’ll yell for you to get out if you’re in there longer then five minutes.”
Miss Parker sighs a little raggedly, standing up. “Will you join me?” she asks in a small voice. “I could use some help washing my back, and my hair. I can’t be as careful of the sore spots as you could be.”
Jarod blinks a few times, then snaps himself out of it, standing up next to her. “Just tell me what to do,” he murmurs softly. “Tell me what you need, and it’s yours,” he promises in the gentlest of voices.
“I know.” Miss Parker takes his hand, squeezing it, and leaning over, kissing his lips softly. She leads him over to the tub and flips the shower on. “Just be careful of where you know I still hurt, and we’ll be fine.”
Jarod nods and watches her for a moment. “Would you feel better if I stand outside the tub fully clothed, wash you out here, then get in after you’re done?” he asks softly, warily, not wanting to do anything that might hurt her in any way.
Miss Parker shakes her head. “Not really.” She shrugs. “I’d be more comfortable if I know I can handle this without freaking out.” She smiles a little, pulling her shirt over her head. “Just strip and get in the shower with me Jarod. Remember, I trust you. And right now, I’m trusting myself as well.”
Jarod responds by pulling his shirt off, then kicking his shorts off. He holds out his arms in a ‘you got me’ gesture and steps in the shower. He dips his head under the flow of water, then turns toward her. “Coming?” he asks softly.
Miss Parker slips her shorts off, kicking them to the side. Her eyes fall down his body, and she freezes, her hands on the waistband of her panties. She swallows hard, forcing her eyes up to his, and slips her panties off, stepping into the shower with him, her eyes still locked on his. “Yep.”
Jarod places a gentle hand on her shoulder. “I will never hurt you,” he whispers, “and if I do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, tell me as soon as it happens, and I will stop,” he promises gently.
“It’s not you Jarod. It’s me.” Miss Parker smiles a little, placing her hand on his chest. “I make me uncomfortable. The places my brain goes. But this is okay. Barely, but it’s okay.”
Nodding, Jarod places both hands on her shoulders, then slowly moves them up her neck. He takes her face between his hands and turns her so that her back is to him. He leans her head into the shower, wetting her hair. He turns her back toward him and takes a washcloth some coconut soap, native to the island and uses it to gently wipe the paint off her face. He smiles gently at her. “There. Your beautiful - if maybe a little less colorful - self.”
“Thanks.” Miss Parker takes the washcloth from his hand and gently reaches up, washing the paint from his face. “All clean.” She murmurs. She leans her head forward and kisses a small bruise that still remains on his chest, looking back up at him and smiling a little.
Jarod smiles a little. “Almost can’t feel it anymore,” he murmurs, running the washcloth over the tops of her shoulders gently. “Turn around, let me get your back.” Once she’s turned around, Jarod soaps up the washcloth and runs it up and down her back gently, from shoulder blades to just above her ass. He runs the cloth back up her sides from the back, then finishes the back of her neck, and behind her ears. He points the shower at her back, rinsing the soap off. He places a soft kiss behind each ear. “Done,” he whispers gently.
“Thank you.” Miss Parker smiles a little, taking the washcloth from him and, her back still to him, washes the front of her body, turning around and washing the soap off. She smiles a little, looking into his eyes. “I’m definitely getting better,” she murmurs.
“Are you?” he asks softly, keeping his eyes on hers. “Are we talking physically, mentally, or both?”
“Both.” Miss Parker places a hand on his cheek. “I was referring to the physical, but definitely both.”
Jarod smiles and kisses her forehead gently. “How are the bruises on your breasts?” he asks softly. “I know they’re the worse for you.”
“They almost don’t hurt.” She smiles. “That’s what made me say it. I was washing, and it barely hurt at all.”
“Good,” Jarod says sincerely. He turns around and quickly washes his front, rinsing, then turning back to her. “Would you like to get out?” he asks gently. “Or is there something else you need help with?”
Miss Parker hands him the shampoo. “My hair.” she says softly. “I just know I’ll be stupid and get some into the cut on the back of my head, and I’d rather not go through that.”
Jarod takes the shampoo and pours a good amount in his hand. He rubs his palms together briefly, then applies it to her hair, spreading it everywhere except the cut. He massages her scalp, her temples, moving along the sides of her neck, then back up again, studiously avoiding the nasty cut that, while it’s healed quite a bit, still looked as though it was about split open at any moment. After a few minutes of constant massage, he moves her head a little under the spray, rinsing the shampoo out, cupping his hand properly to make sure nothing gets in the cut.
“You are so good at that.” she murmurs, leaning her head back against his shoulder when he’s done rinsing her hair. She turns and wraps her arms around his shoulders, holding him tightly against her. “I love you.” she whispers against his skin.
Jarod wraps his arms almost reverently around her, holding her against him. One hand finds a home at her lower back, the other moving to her hair, holding her just above the gash. He leans down and kisses the top of her head. “I love you too,” he whispers back. “More then anything else on this earth. More then my life.”
“Do you have any idea how badly I want to make love to you?” Miss Parker asks, almost shyly. “I don’t think I can, but god I want to.” her arms tighten around him, her lips pressed against his shoulder.
Jarod runs his lips along her hairline gently. “I have an inkling,” he says in a low, rough, gentle voice. “And I want to make love to you as well. But as great as that need is. . . I need you to be okay. . . to be well, and healthy, emotionally and physically, more.” He kisses her forehead. “You can call the shots, okay?” he asks softly. “You can decide when you’re able to move beyond my just holding you. Okay?”
Miss Parker nods, looking up at him and kissing him softly. “I am just so sick and tired of being scared, and being hurt. I wish I could let you touch me, more than this, and not be tense and terrified. I want that so badly, you don’t know . . .” she trails off, staring at him.
Jarod runs his hand down her cheek, feathering his fingertips over her jaw. “I know,” he whispers. “I know you do.” He brings his other hand to her cheek, cupping them softly. He leans forward and kisses her softly. “I love you. And I want you to be okay. I want you to let me touch you without being tense and scared. And it’ll happen. I know it will,” he murmurs against her mouth. “I have faith that it’ll happen when you’re ready.”
“But what if I’m ready now, and I just don’t know how to get around all the crap?” Miss Parker sighs. “Because that’s how I feel. Like I’m ready for us to move past this, except for this one tiny little voice in the back of my head that won’t shut up.”
Jarod moves his hand, brushing some hair back from her forehead. “I’ll do anything I can to help you,” he whispers. “Whatever you need.” He looks into her eyes. “What do you want?” he asks softly.
Miss Parker shuts her eyes and sighs. “I want you to stop asking me every five minutes what you can do for me.” she says in a gentle tone, trying not to sound upset, because she’s not. “I want things to just happen without my having to analyze them every time I take a breath.”
Jarod leans down and kisses her softly. “Okay,” he murmurs. “I can do that.” He runs his hand down the side of her face. “I just don’t ever want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, or hurts you in any way.” He moves his mouth to her jaw, brushing his lips along it then up her hairline, placing his lips against her forehead again. “Just promise me you’ll let me know if something doesn’t feel right,” he murmurs.
“I will.” Miss Parker’s hands curl around his shoulders, leaning her forehead against his chest. “I’m not afraid to stop you if I start feeling uncomfortable. I know you’ll stop.”
“Good,” he whispers, running his hands down her back again, then up to her shoulders, and back down again, running his fingers over her hip. “I love you,” he murmurs softly. “I love you unreservedly.” He kisses her forehead gently. “Would you like to get out of the shower now?”
“Yeah,” she murmurs, her head still pressed against his chest. “But I don’t know if I can move.”
Jarod smiles gently against her forehead. “I’m touching you,” he whispers, leaning down and picking her up gently, holding her against his chest. “Can you turn the shower off?” he asks softly.
Leaning an arm down, Miss Parker flips the shower off. She wraps her arms around his shoulders. “I love you.” she murmurs, her head back against his chest.
“I know,” he murmurs back, stepping out of the shower and walking over to the couch. He sets her down and steps in front of her. “Hold onto me if you feel like you’re gonna fall over,” he murmurs, unfolding the couch and laying a sheet over it. He turns around and picks her up again, gently laying her down on the bed. He walks back into the bathroom and grabs three towels, wrapping one around his waist, securing the other under her hair, and taking the third, running it down her body gently, drying her. He moves down her stomach, then to her thighs, gently down her knees to her calves, her feet, being extra gentle over her ankles which are almost completely healed, but still a little tender. He moves back up her body, purposely avoiding her breasts, and drying her shoulders and arms. He smiles. “Better?” he asks softly.
Miss Parker nods, staring up at him, her eyes half-closed, smiling. “Much.” She says softly, taking the towel from him and gently drying her breasts. “Are you going to lie down with me?”
Jarod nods slowly. “I was planning on it,” he murmurs. “Would you like a t-shirt before I lie down?” he asks softly. “Would you like me to put something on? I’m gonna shuck the towel before I lie down.”
“No. I’m fine. If you want to put something on, go ahead, but don’t just for me.” Miss Parker swallows, and smiles at him.
Jarod takes his towel off, tossing it the floor and laying down next to her, about two inches away. He lays a hand over her stomach gently, otherwise not touching her. “Are you sleepy?” he asks softly.
Miss Parker shakes her head. “Not really. Give me an hour, I’ll probably be asleep, but I’m wide awake right now.” she touches his cheek gently. “Are you?”
Jarod shakes his head. “Nope,” he murmurs. “Not even a little bit.” He moves his fingertips over her stomach unconsciously in tiny little circles.
Miss Parker slides over closer to him, their sides touching, her head leaning against his shoulder. “Okay,” she says quietly. “What shall we do then?”
Jarod chuckles a little, looking heavenward, then down to her head. “I could suggest something, but you might shoot me for it,” he whispers, injecting a note of humor and almost bittersweetness into his voice.
Miss Parker shuts her eyes a moment. “I don’t have my gun Jarod.” she whispers. She shakes her head a little. “And try me.”
Jarod leans down and moves his mouth to just above her mouth. “I’d like to start by kissing you,” he whispers half an inch from her. “I’d like to lose myself kissing you.” He brushes his lips over hers once, quickly. “How does that grab you?” he asks in a whisper.
Miss Parker leans her head up, kissing him softly, then a little harder. “Sounds good to me,” she murmurs, pressing her lips back against his, her hand coming up to the back of his head, tangling in his hair.
Jarod kisses her slowly, softly, lingeringly. He runs one hand into her hair, the other still resting over her stomach. The hand over her stomach runs lightly over it, his fingers playing over her ribs gently, lightly, his palm resting comfortably over the place above her belly button. His mouth continues to move over hers gently, but increasing in pressure slightly, still lingering everywhere it touches.
Miss Parker kisses him back, opening her mouth the slightest bit and running the tip of her tongue over his lips. She runs her free hand down his back, her other hand stroking his hair softly. Jarod opens his mouth over hers, his tongue touching hers lightly, running over her lips softly. He pulls her bottom lip into his mouth a little ways and runs his tongue over it, releasing it and kissing her again and again, losing himself in it. His hand never moves from her stomach, his fingers the only motion, still tracing soft little circles over her ribs. His other hand is still loosely tangled in the hair at the side of her head. Miss Parker lets out a soft moan, moving her tongue over his and into his mouth, beginning to lose herself as well. Still stroking his hair, she stops moving her other arm, simply resting her hand against his lower back, sweeping her fingertips over his skin. She kisses him deeply, but still softly, tracing over his mouth with her tongue.
Jarod moves his hand over her stomach, circling it, then moving to her hip, and running it up her side, then around to her rib cage, his fingers still playing small circles over her skin, his fingers tracing her ribs gently. He moves his tongue just inside her mouth, running it over hers, and along the inside of her lips gently. Miss Parker turns her hips slightly towards him unconsciously, her entire body moving. She runs the tip of her tongue over the side of his and back up, into his mouth again, moving it over his teeth, the insides of his cheeks. Her hands stay where they are, still moving gently, slowly, over his skin and hair. Jarod runs his hand down her side to her hip, moving around to the upper cheek of her ass, pulling her a little further against him. He runs his hand up her back to her shoulder blade, cupping it and pulling her upper body against him. He leaves his hand there, holding her gently, his mouth still moving over hers, harder, his tongue sweeping over hers, into her mouth, then back out again.
Miss Parker molds her body against his, moaning softly against his mouth as she kisses him back with equal amounts of raw passion and tenderness. She moves her hand from his lower back to his shoulder, wrapping her fingers around it and holding him to her. Jarod keeps one hand under the side of her head, fingers tangled loosely in her hair. The other he runs up and down her back, from ass to shoulder and back again, slowly, lightly, then pressing a little harder, then lightly again. He groans a little into her mouth at the feel of her body against his, and continues to kiss her, a passion and inherent gentleness in his every touch and kiss. Miss Parker tightens her fingers around his shoulder, fitting her body more tightly against his. She kisses him deeper, harder, her teeth gently grazing his lower lip, her tongue soothing it, then running back into his mouth.
Jarod lets out a deep groan into her mouth, his hand running down her ass to her thigh, moving his fingers underneath it feather light, lifting it a little against him, trying to get as close as he possibly can to her. His mouth moves down her cheek to her jaw, then back up quickly to her mouth as though it already missed kissing her. Momentarily, Miss Parker freezes, a shiver running through her. Less than a second later, she resumes kissing him as intensely, more so, than she had been. She rolls her body slightly, into his, pressing every inch of skin as close to him as she can get. Jarod rolls onto his back, moving both his hands to her hips and rolling her with him so she’s half laying on top of him. He runs his hands up to her face, holding her head to his, never once breaking the kiss. He keeps one hand at the side of her head, fingers still tangled in her hair, the other running down
her back, settling against the center of her spine gently.
Miss Parker smiles against his mouth, running her hand down his side to his hip, settling on the side. She keeps her hips slightly to the side of his, pressed against him, and tangles her feet with his, her knee falling between his. She turns her head slightly, kissing him deeper, her tongue running down the length of his and back, inside his mouth. Jarod moves his hand away from her hair, joining the other on her lower back. He runs them up and down, his fingers skittering over her spine. He moves his head off the pillow, kissing her harder, running his tongue into her mouth, dueling with hers. He moves his hands along her sides, her ribs, then back around to her lower back again, quickly moving them to her shoulder blades, tracing the bones with his index fingertips. Miss Parker moans softly, pressing her chest against his. She runs her other hand down to the side of his waist, holding him to her while kissing him, her lips pressing against his harder, almost, but only almost, bruising her lips again.
Jarod lets out a low moan into her mouth, running his hands back up to her cheeks, moving his fingers down the sides of her necks, then to the back, skittering gently, carefully avoiding the gash. His thumbs move along her clavicles as he kisses her as hard as he can without hurting her, darting his tongue in and out of her mouth, then slowly moving it over the corners of her mouth. Miss Parker slides her fingers under his lower back, pulling him even closer to her, if that was at all possible. She kisses him, lifting her head slightly and softening the kiss by a degree, her tongue still moving in his mouth, slowly, stroking his mouth deeply and languidly, then harder and faster, then slower again. Jarod abandons her mouth and slowly moves down to her throat, sucking lightly at the hollow. He runs his tongue along the indent of her throat, then back up to her chin, her jaw, then back to her mouth again, kissing her harder, slower, running his tongue over her lips again. Miss Parker groans softly, her fingers digging slightly into his back. She takes his lower lip between her teeth, worrying it gently, sucking it into her mouth, running her tongue over it, and releasing it, kissing him again deeply, moving one of her hands from his back to his head, her fingers running through his hair, cradling his head.
Jarod lets out a moan and moves his mouth up her cheekbone to her ear, pulling her lobe into his mouth and sucking on it, nibbling gently. “Doing good?” he whispers to her in a soft shaky voice, his breathing labored.
Miss Parker nods, leaning her head to the side slightly. “Mmmhmm.” She murmurs, her hand still cradling the back of his head. “This . . .” she takes a breath. “Is wonderful. I love you.” she whispers in a throaty voice.
“I love you too,” he whispers into her ear. He moves his mouth along her neck, then back up to her ear again. “I love you more then anything. More then thought, or words or touch can ever express.”
“Do you have any idea what hearing you say things like that does to me?” She asks softly, her fingers running gently over his scalp, leaning her entire body into his more, pressing her lips against his temple.
“I think so,” he whispers, shutting his eyes and swallowing a moan at the feel of her body moving against his. “You make my heart - along with my body - come alive.” He leans up and kisses her mouth softly. He runs his hands up to her face, cupping her cheeks in his hands. “So,” he murmurs softly, smiling gently, “feel like sleeping?” he asks in a teasing voice, one eyebrow raised.
Miss Parker chuckles. “I could sleep,” she mutters softly, kissing his mouth with the gentlest of kisses. “Or not. What do you feel like?”
“I just feel like I could hold you forever,” he whispers. “Beyond that, I don’t give a damn.”
“You are no help in making decisions.” She murmurs, leaning her head against his shoulder. “You can hold me all night, but I don’t care either whether you do it while I’m asleep or awake.”
“Let’s try to sleep for awhile,” he says softly. “Let’s give it. . . an hour. If we’re both still awake, we’ll find something else to do. How’s that sound?”
“Okay.” Miss Parker sighs a little, shutting her eyes, moving the hand that was under his back to his chest, curling her legs around his. “I love you,” she murmurs softly, rubbing her cheek sleepily against his shoulder.
“And I love you,” he whispers into her hair, his voice slurring as he lets himself relax into sleep. “You are my heart.”
~~~~~
A few hours later, Jarod blinks his eyes open, looking down at Miss Parker’s head where it rested on his chest. He smiles gently at her and places a kiss against the top of her hair. Miss Parker smiles against his chest. “I was wondering when you were going to wake up.” she murmurs.
“I guess I was a little sleepier then I thought,” he says around a yawn. “Did you sleep?”
“A couple hours, surprisingly. And good sleep too.” Miss Parker kisses his chest. “I’m glad you slept. Bad dreams?” she questions softly.
Jarod shakes his head a little. “No dreams,” he murmurs. “I got about three hours of deep, restful, dreamless sleep.” He shrugs a little, his arm moving around her body. “I’m not even sure why I woke up. Just. . . something told me to.”
“That annoying psychic thing kicking in again?” Miss Parker sighs a little, tightening her arm across his stomach.
“Probably,” he mumbles against the top of her head. He runs his hand gently up and down her back, feathering his fingers along her spine. “Is there a reason for it to be kicking in?”
Miss Parker shivers a little, burying her face in his chest for a moment. “I don’t know,” she mumbles quietly, turning her head to stare across the room at a sliver of moonlight coming through the window.
“What do you know?” he asks softly, continuing to move his hand along her back. “What can you tell me about what’s going on inside you right now?”
Sighing deeply, Miss Parker rubs her cheek against his chest, placing her ear over his heart. “I don’t know. I was fine, pretty good even, before we fell asleep, I even slept well. I woke up feeling okay, which lasted all of about ten minutes, then I just . . . started feeling weird. I can’t even explain it past weird.”
“Weird,” he mumbles. “Weird good, weird bad, weird in between?”
“I honestly don’t know Jarod.” she sighs again. “Just weird. I don’t like not being able to define my emotions.”
“I know you don’t Sweetheart,” he whispers. “I just want to help you. I can feel what you feel and. . . I don’t like what I’m feeling,” he says simply. “It’s a little. . . scary.”
Miss Parker looks up at him. “What are you feeling?” she asks in a small voice, only half wanting to know the answer.
Jarod shuts his eyes for a moment. “Like there’s a vice around my heart and it just keeps. . . squeezing, tighter and tighter. And every time I think this is it - it can’t get any tighter without my heart breaking - it does,” he says in a low, shaky voice. “And there’s. . . an odd sort of tension inside me right now. . . I would definitely describe it as weird.”
Turning her head, Miss Parker kisses his chest over his heart. “I’m pretty sure I’m suppressing things again.” she murmurs. “I know I am. And I wish you could somehow block my emotions from your head, you don’t need this shit. You’ve got enough crap going on with trying to reconcile your parentage.” She sighs raggedly and lays her head back down.
Jarod places his lips against her forehead. “I’d rather feel this then anything else,” he murmurs. “Whatever you feel is what I want to be feeling.” He moves his lips over her hairline. “I love you,” he murmurs. “I love you and if you’re sad, I’m sad. Just like if you’re happy, I’m happy.” He shrugs a little. “That’s just how it works for me,” he says in a ‘that’s the way it is ma’am’ voice.
“I love you.” Miss Parker whispers, shutting her eyes. “I think I’m okay, I’m just still really fucked up. And, I’m sure, with my luck I’ll stay like this for a while.” Opening her eyes, she looks down at their bodies, naked and tangled together. “I’m almost amazed I can lie here with you like this right now. Almost.”
Jarod smiles a little and kisses her cheek gently. “Like you said - you trust me,” he murmurs. “You know I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, or make you feel uncomfortable.” He runs his mouth along her hairline again. “I loved kissing you,” he whispers. “I’ve never lost myself inside another human being as much as I did when I was kissing you.”
Miss Parker’s eyes shut, a small smile on her face. “I know, me either. I’ve never even come close to what I was feeling while I was kissing you.” She lifts her head and kisses him gently. “I’ve never felt so safe, and loved, and protected, and desired.”
“You are,” he whispers. “All of the above.” He runs his hand through her hair. “You know. . .” he looks down, something akin to embarrassment crossing his face. He looks back up at her, into her eyes. “I feel like I’ve already made love to you,” he whispers finally. “That’s what last night was to me. That’s what it felt like.” He looks away again, blushing slightly.
Miss Parker places her hand on his cheek, turning his face back to hers. “It was?” she asks softly, a small smile on her face. “Jarod, we did make love last night. We just didn’t have sex.” She kisses his cheeks, smiling at the faint blush. “You don’t have to be embarrassed Jarod, but it’s kinda cute.”
“I’m still a. . . little new at this,” he says softly. “This. . . relationship. . . sex. . . thing.” He sighs deeply. “There’s only been one other woman. . . and that was only one night.” He looks down at her, kissing her lips gently. “And I wasn’t in love with her. I wasn’t willing to die for her and I didn’t feel like she was my life line.” He sighs and kisses her again. “So if you look at it that way, there’s never been anyone else.” He smiles a little. “In that respect, you’re the first, last and only.” He shrugs a little and smiles the most adorable smile. “You’ll forgive some. . . embarrassment.”
“Always. It’s not a flaw Jarod, it’s sweet.” She kisses him lightly. “And I know there was only the one . . . Nia, right? Do you know what it means to me to be able to be your first for so much? And you know what? After all this, I think it’s safe to say you’re my first too. I want to forget everything that came before, and just let us be it.” she strokes her hand down his cheek gently. “I love you so much.”
“Good,” he whispers. “Because I don’t think I could stand it to love you this much and not have you love me back.” He shuts his eyes and moves his head, leaning his forehead against hers. “I lived for so many years without knowing whether you loved me back or not. That’s my hell Melina. Thinking you don’t love me back.” He kisses her mouth gently. “You obliterate the bad stuff from my mind Mel. You make me forget the shit that came before I held you in my arms. You take the pain away,” he says simply, his forehead still against hers, his breath feathering over her lips.
“You don’t have to worry about that, my love. I promise you, I will love you always.” Tipping her head back, Miss Parker kisses his forehead, then drops hers back against his. “And I will always be here to hold you when you need me, or just want me to, to kiss away your pain and fear.” She smiles a little. “Of course I expect you to return the favor . . . but I’ll be here, loving you.”
“That’s all I need,” he murmurs. He runs his hand down her cheek, bringing his other hand up and cupping them in his hands. He kisses her mouth gently. “Would you be willing to consider a proposition I’ve been hypothesizing proposing to you for some time now?” he asks in his ‘of course Einstein was wrong when he came up with the theory of relativity’ voice.
Miss Parker blinks once. Twice. “Sure,” she says slowly, drawing out the word. “I’ll consider anything you have floating in that sweet, twisted brain of yours.”
Jarod grins. “Be careful what you agree to,” he murmurs. “Would you consider marrying me at some date in the future?” he asks, still smiling a little, but not quite as widely as before. “I know you’re not ready now. . .and I know that you probably don’t know what you’re going to do with the rest of your life, but. . . I’d really like you to spend it with me.” he smiles a little more. “And I’d like to marry you. It would be fun, considering I’ve never been married before.” He furrows his eyebrows. “Come to think of it. . . I’ve never even been to a wedding before.” He shrugs. “Might be fun for the first to be my own.” He looks at her again. “Sorry, I’m getting ahead of you again,” he says, a bit sheepishly. “You haven’t even agreed to think about it yet.” He looks at her expectantly. “So will you? Consider it, I mean?”
Miss Parker raises an eyebrow, her face somewhere between laughter and tears. “Um, yeah, I will.” she says, her voice only breaking once. A single tear runs down her face, mingling with her smile. “Absolutely, I will consider it, I might just take you up on it sooner than you think.”
Jarod smiles and leans his head down to hers, kissing her ear softly. “Let me know,” he whispers in a soft, sweet voice.
“You’ll be the first,” she murmurs, running her hand over his cheek. She shakes her head a ittle, sighing. “Shit, Jarod, I really should find a way to get in touch with Sydney. He’s got to be so worried.”
Jarod shrugs a little. “He’s probably concerned.. . maybe even missing you a little.. . .but I doubt he’s that worried.” He looks at her carefully. “You were close to snapping before this happened,” he says softly. “Syd probably thinks you finally got sick of it all and walked.” He pulls her shoulders against him. “I have my cell phone in the closet if you’d like to call him,” he offers softly.
Miss Parker nods. “I would. He knows me well enough to know how close I was to the breaking point, but he also knows I would’ve at least stuck my head into his office and said goodbye in a slightly pointed manner before I left. I don’t know if I can tell him what happened, but I do want to let him know I’m okay.”
Jarod nods and stands up, padding over to the closet. He pulls out his phone and sits back down on the bed Indian style next to her. “Here you go. You know the drill. What to say, what not to say.” He smiles a little. “Tell Syd I say hi,” he murmurs.
“Yeah, I know.” Miss Parker takes the phone and slowly dials Sydney’s number. “You don’t want to talk to him?” she asks softly, waiting for Syd to pick up.
Jarod looks away for a moment. “He knew Mel,” he says softly. “He knew Raines was my father,” he says in a broken voice.
“Sydney,” Sydney’s voice intones from the phone.
“Hey Syd,” Miss Parker says softly into the phone, reaching a hand out and running her fingers through Jarod’s hair gently.
“Parker?” Sydney asks eagerly. “I was hoping to hear from you. Where are you? Did you find Jarod and decide to keep him tied up and torture him for your ulcer?” he asks in a teasing voice.
“I’m . . . away. And yeah, I’m with him.” Miss Parker shuts her eyes, still stroking Jarod’s hair. She opens her eyes and looks into his, mouthing ‘I’m sorry.’ “But as much as it sounds amusing, I’m not tying him up and torturing him. There’s a lot going on, and he’s managed to keep me together.”
‘Don’t be,’ Jarod mouths back. ‘It’s not your fault.’
“So the two of you are together?” Sydney asks, his voice lighting up. “That’s wonderful Parker. What’s happened?”
Miss Parker takes a shuddering breath, leaning against Jarod. “Just some really bad shit. Stuff I’d rather not get into right now. I just wanted you to know I’m okay. I don’t even know how to tell you what went on.”
Jarod wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her back against his chest. He feathers his hands over her stomach and lays his chin on her shoulder. He places a soft kiss against the side of her neck. “Hi Syd,” he says softly, loud enough for Sydney to hear him.
Sydney smiles. “Jarod is with you right now,” he murmurs. “Hello Jarod.” He sobers a little. “Parker you can tell me anything. Whatever happened, it can’t be that bad.”
Miss Parker shuts her eyes, her hand tightening around Jarod’s arm. “He says hi” she whispers to him, turning back to the phone. “Syd, this is that bad.” she swallows back tears. “I’m barely able to say it out loud at all.”
Sydney tenses for a moment. “What happened Parker?” he asks tensely.
Jarod flutters his fingertips over her stomach soothingly.
“I . . .” Miss Parker feels a few tears seep from behind her closed eyes. “Sydney, some men . . .” she breaks off, turning her face into Jarod’s neck for a moment, forcing back a sob.
Jarod brings his hand up to her head, brushing her hair back at her temple. He places a kiss against her forehead. “It’s okay,” he whispers. “It’s okay. Go ahead and cry.” He takes the phone from her. “Hold on Syd,” he says briskly, setting the phone down on the bed. “Breathe for a minute before you talk to him,” he tells her firmly.
“Parker? Jarod?” Sydney’s voice comes from the telephone urgently.
Miss Parker takes a few deep breaths, clearing her throat and picking the phone back up. “Sorry Syd.” She croaks out, tears lacing her voice. “I seem to do that.” She looks up at Jarod. ‘I’m okay.’ she mouths to him.
“What happened Parker?” Sydney asks in a tight voice, not sure he wants to know.
‘I know,’ Jarod mouths back, smiling a little.
Miss Parker clears her throat again, swallowing hard. She forces her voice to be steady. “I . . . I was raped Sydney.” she stares at Jarod. “By two men.” A couple more tears fall down her cheeks, but other than that, she keeps herself steady.
Sydney sucks in a sharp breath and grips his desk tightly. “When?” is all he can manage.
Jarod looks her in the eye. ‘I love you.’ He tightens his arm around her waist, his other still in her hair, moving down her cheek.
‘I know.’ Miss Parker smiles stiffly. “Almost two weeks ago,” she murmurs, still staring at Jarod, gathering strength from him.
Sydney exhales deeply. “Are you. . . . are you all right?” he asks slowly. “Is there any permanent physical or psychological damage?” he asks, slipping into psychiatrist mode.
Jarod smiles at her, a small, reassuring smile that conveys more warmth and security and safety then a thousand words could.
“I’m okay.” Miss Parker brushes her hand over Jarod’s cheek, nodding slightly. “Except for these crying jags I seem to slip into. Jarod’s taken a look at me, ran some tests, I’m okay. And he’s taking good care of me.”
Sydney smiles a little through the horrified look on his face. “I’m so glad you’ve stopped trying to bring him in Parker,” he says sincerely. “It’s better for both of you now.” He sighs. “You both need someone so badly.”
Miss Parker shuts her eyes, still stroking Jarod’s cheek. “I know Syd.” She murmurs. She takes a deep breath. “How are you doing?” she asks softly.
“Fine,” he says. “Or at least I was until you called.” He chuckles a little under his breath. “Now I’m feeling worse and better at the same time. Worse because of what you’ve been through, and better because as a result of it, I no longer have a reason to remain at the Centre.”
Jarod leans his face into her hand, an eyebrow raising at Syd’s statement.
Miss Parker raises an eyebrow back. “Would you care to explain that to me Syd?” she asks in a slightly bewildered tone.
Sydney shrugs a little. “You’re not here. . . There’s no chance of Jarod ever coming back now that you’re not pursuing him. . .” he smiles a little. “Parker you’re the only reason we ever even got close.” He shrugs again. “I have no reason to remain.”
Jarod smiles a little, leaning his chin against Miss Parker’s shoulder.
“That’s good Syd, you need to get out of there.” Miss Parker smiles a little, a questioning look on her face directed at Jarod. “What are you going to do now?”
“I’m not sure,” Sydney says slowly. “I suppose find somewhere the Centre won’t look for me and settle down.”
Jarod shakes his head slowly. He licks his lips. His eyes widen and his face lights up. ‘Catalina,’ he mouths.
‘Catalina?’ Miss Parker mouths back, furling her eyebrows and shrugging a little. “That sounds like a good idea Sydney, do you have any idea where you want to go?” she asks, slightly cryptically.
‘Catalina,’ Jarod mouths again, nodding toward the phone. *Tell him to go to Catalina.*
Sydney takes the phone away from his ear and stares at it for a moment, as though it were covered in slime. “I was thinking maybe somewhere warm,” he says slowly.
Miss Parker nods slowly. “What about Catalina?” she asks casually. She looks at Jarod. ‘Okay, anything else I should pass on?’ Jarod shakes his head.
Sydney leans forward. “Catalina?” he asks slowly. “Sounds wonderful. The perfect place to retire to. . . to seek some peace. .. some refuge,” he murmurs consideringly.
Jarod smiles and nods his head, leaning away from the phone. He nods his head at Miss Parker.
Miss Parker smiles a little. “Yeah, that’s what I’ve heard. Look, we better go, it sounds like you’ve got a few things to . . . take care of.” She gestures towards the phone, asking Jarod if he wants to say anything. “It was good to hear your voice.”
“Yours too,” Sydney says, smiling like a cat that ate the canary.
Jarod shakes his head a little. ‘I’ll talk to him later,’ he says, wearing a mysterious smile.
“Bye Syd,” Miss Parker murmurs before hanging up the phone. She looks up at Jarod. “Okay, fill me in.”
Jarod smiles a little. “Catalina was our euphemism for Hawaii,” he says softly. “It was a. . . code word. We had them for almost everything.” Jarod shrugs a little. “He’ll probably head to the main island. . . and I’ll be able to find him from there on my laptop.” He smiles a little. “Feel like taking a trip to the main island?”
“Sure, why not.” Miss Parker grins, then sobers. “Are you okay with seeing him? I know what a betrayal it was for him not to tell you . . .”
Jarod lays a hand against her cheek. “It’s okay,” he says softly. “He had his reasons. He isn’t even aware I know he knew.” Jarod sighs. “And he never will be.” He looks her in the eye. “He raised me. He kept this from me because he didn’t want it to hurt me. I understand why he did it. It hurts, and I’m angry, but not as hurt and angry as I am that it’s true in the first place.” He shakes his head a little. “I’ll be fine. I won’t hurt him like that.”
“Okay. As long as you can handle it.” Miss Parker leans forward and kisses him gently. “I don’t want either of you getting more hurt over this Any of us getting more hurt. We all need to stop hurting.” She places a hand over his heart. “I love you.” “I love you too,” he whispers. “And I can handle it.” He smiles a little. “I have to.”
“You don’t have to, you just think you do.” She kisses him again. “How long do you think it’ll take for him to get out here?”
Jarod shrugs a little. “No more then twenty hours, if he covers his tracks the way I believe he will.”
“Twenty hours . . .” Miss Parker nods slowly. “So we should leave for the main island in, what fifteen?”
Jarod nods. “Yea, sounds good.” He smiles at her. “That’ll give us enough time to check into a hotel and get my computer hooked up.”
Miss Parker smiles. “Works for me.” She cuddles up against him, pushing him back onto the mattress. “What should we do until then?” she asks softly, kissing his neck gently.
Jarod chuckles. “That feels good,” he says suggestively.
Wrapping herself around him, Miss Parker kisses his neck again, slow, open-mouthed kisses, sucking lightly on the pulse at the base of his throat. “Mmmhmm,” she murmurs against his skin.
Jarod lets out a groan, running his fingers through her hair. “That feels better,” he admits huskily.
Miss Parker runs her hands up his sides to his chest and back down to his waist, wrapping her fingers around him. She continues lightly kissing and sucking on his neck, running the tip of her tongue over his skin lightly. Jarod moves his hands to her back, running them up and down her spine, curving his fingers around her shoulder blades. “Are you still ticklish behind your ears?” he asks in a whisper, running his index fingertip just behind her ears in a tickle-touch.
Miss Parker tilts her head to the side a little, giggling quietly against his skin. “A little,” she murmurs, kissing his neck again and lifting her head to kiss his lips.
Jarod smiles gently. “That’s gonna be helpful,” he whispers against her mouth, leaning up and kissing her mouth gently. “You are so beautiful,” he whispers in an awed voice, looking into her eyes. “So beautiful.”
“You make me feel beautiful Jarod.” she whispers, smiling at him. “No one else makes me feel like you do.” She kisses him, softly, then a little harder. “And you are the most beautiful man.”
“Me? Beautiful?” he laughs a little. “I’m glad you think so,” he says in a modest, ‘whatever you say dear’ tone of voice. He leans up and kisses her a little harder.
“You are.” Miss Parker cups his cheek gently. “Most men can’t be classified as beautiful, by any stretch, but you, you are so incredibly beautiful.”
He smiles a little. “I’m glad you think so,” he repeats again, this time in a grateful, almost tearful tone.
“I do.” She smiles, leaning down and kissing him softly. “Very much so.” She looks around the hut, and back at him. “Jarod, will you make love to me?” she asks in a slightly scared voice. “Maybe . . . probably not have sex with me, but . . . touch me? I
need to feel you touch me.”
Jarod sits up and runs his hands from the bottom of her back to her shoulders and back again. “That’s good,” he murmurs into her ear, turning her onto her back carefully and hovering just over her body. “Because I need to touch you,” he whispers into her ear, running his lips down her neck to her clavicle. He sucks the bone into his mouth lightly, darting his tongue along her skin. “And when you want me to stop,” he whispers, brushing his lips up to her ear, “you tell me to stop.” He kisses her lips gently. “I won’t do anything you don’t want me to.”
“I will.” Miss Parker says quietly, lying back and staring at him, absently running a hand over his back, into his hair, and back down. She moans softly, shutting her eyes, opening them again.
Jarod moves his mouth over her throat, darting his tongue out and licking the hollow. He sucks lightly, then moves to the side of her neck, locating the pulse there and sucking on that as well. He brushes his lips across her shoulder to her arm, running them down her upper arm to her elbow. He takes her arm between both his hands, running one hand up her shoulder, the other holding her wrist gently. He places his lips along the bend of her arm, running his lips around to her elbow, placing soft kisses as he goes. He moves his mouth down her inner arm to her wrist, kissing it softly, darting his tongue out to lick it slowly, his teeth coming out and grazing the skin that was totally healed, his tongue laving the parts that were still tender. He moves his mouth to her hand, kissing the skin between each of her fingers, then taking each digit in his mouth, one by one, and sucking gently.
Miss Parker leans her head back deeply into the pillow, her breathing becoming slightly labored. She murmurs his name a couple of times, running her toes up the side of his leg gently. She runs her free hand into his hair, clutching at it, then stroking it back. Jarod moves his head down her hand, kissing the palm. He turns her hand over, brushing his mouth over her knuckles, biting them gently. He abandons her hand and moves to her side, running his mouth from just below her underarm, to her hip, and back again. He stops at her ribs and darts his tongue out, tracing each one lightly. He presses a series of soft, biting kisses along her rib cage, focusing all his attention on the rhythm of kissing, biting, licking and sucking at her skin. Running her nails lightly over his skin, Miss Parker shuts her eyes, holding his head to her body gently. She moans quietly, still running her foot down his leg. She opens her eyes again, staring, unseeing, at the ceiling, her other hand tracing patterns on his shoulder with her fingertips in the lightest touch possible.
Jarod moves his mouth to her stomach, darting his tongue in and out of her belly button in fast, light movements. He runs his hands down her sides to her hips, then back again, his fingers running under her back, tracing her spine. He places a few kisses against the skin around her belly button, nibbling gently. Miss Parker whispers his name quietly, arching her back ever so slightly against his mouth. She locks her fingers into his hair on one side of his head, the other running over his cheek. She shuts her eyes, then opens them, staring first at the ceiling, then down at him, watching his every move. Jarod runs his head up her side
again, to her other arm, his cheek brushing the side of her breast slightly, barely touching as he places his mouth against the top of her shoulder and works his way down her arm. He gives it the same treatment as the other.
Lifting her head slightly, Miss Parker smiles down at him and lays it back against the pillow, breathing heavy. She touches the side of his face with the fingers of her free hand, running small circles over his cheek, his forehead. Jarod moves his head back up her arm to her chest, placing a kiss over her heart. He runs his lips up to her throat again, moving to her chin, nibbling on the end of it, licking it softly. He brushes his mouth over the corners of her mouth, then her cheeks, her nose, moving up the bridge. He kisses her forehead, brushing his lips along her hair line. He kisses her closed eyelids, then the dark circles under her eyes. Finally, he returns his mouth to hers again, opening his and kissing her deeply, hard, his tongue tangling with hers. Miss Parker pulls his head against hers, forcing the kiss deeper, her tongue running over his, into his mouth, back over his tongue. She runs her hand from the back of his head, down his neck, over his shoulder and down his arm, twining her fingers with his. Her other hand runs up his side, from under his arm to his hip and back. Jarod squeezes her fingers with his, lowering his head further, kissing her as deeply and as hard as he can without hurting her. His free hand runs from her shoulder down her ribs, coming to rest directly underneath her breast, not quite touching. His fingers play over her side, moving in smooth back and forth motions. Miss Parker lets out a soft moan into his mouth, kissing him back with all she has, pulling him closer to her, her free hand resting in the middle of his back. She tightens her fingers around his, then lets his hand go, running hers up his arm to his shoulder, holding him to her. Jarod stops trying to keep his full weight off her and lets go with a groan, lying his upper body against hers fully. “Let me know if I’m too heavy,” he whispers just above her mouth, leaning his head back down and kissing her teasingly, lifting his head, then lowering it again quickly, then slowly.
Miss Parker smiles against his mouth, kissing him back. She leans back for a moment. “You’re not,” she whispers, moving her mouth back over his, opening hers, her tongue running lightly over his lips. She runs her hands over small parts of his back, her fingers teasing his skin with a light touch.
Jarod runs his lips over hers, continuing the teasing kisses. He moves his tongue out to lightly touch hers in the same manner he’d been kissing her. He runs his hand down to her hip, then back up to just under her breast. He moves it back to her side, then up, his fingertips lightly brushing over the side of her breast before his hand settles back on her ribcage. Miss Parker
squeezes her eyes tightly shut for a moment, then opens them, pulling back from his mouth and staring up at him. She brings a hand up to his cheek, cupping it gently for a moment before moving her hand to his, taking it and gently placing it on top of her breast. She swallows, staring into his eyes, and moves her hand, leaving his where she put it. Jarod leans down and kisses her softly, his hand remaining where she’d lain it, gently over her breast, cupping it softly. He moves it slightly, brushing her nipple against his palm. He smiles gently at her and kisses her again. He keeps one hand on her breast, the other tracing tiny patterns along her hip as his mouth moves gently over hers, sipping gently at her lips.
Moaning, Miss Parker kisses him back softly, her hands running over his back, her nails scratching gently. She moves her mouth against his, her tongue moving with his. When he moves his tongue into her mouth, she sucks on it softly, swirling her own tongue around his. Jarod moans into her mouth and moves his hand down along her breast, cupping the bottom of it and running his thumb up to her nipple, brushing it softly back and forth. He runs his tongue over her teeth, the inside of her lips, along her own. Miss Parker arches slightly into his hand, sliding her hand down to his hip, brushing her fingertips over his ass lightly, then wrapping her fingers around his hip. She kisses him for another moment, then pulls her head back a little. “I want to feel your lips on my breasts Jarod,” she whispers in a breathless tone.
Jarod smiles gently and kisses her lips, then down her cheek, placing a soft kiss against her ear. “My pleasure,” he whispers, moving his head down to her breasts, and placing a kiss against the skin between them. He moves his head from side to side, rubbing his cheek against her skin. He places a kiss against the bottom of each breast, then the tops. He places the gentlest of kisses over the remaining bruises. He darts his tongue out and licks the skin around one of her nipples.
Sucking in a hiss of breath, Miss Parker shuts her eyes. She licks her lips and tangles her fingers in his hair, her thumb stroking the base of his skull. She murmurs his name adoringly, whispering her love for him. Tangling her legs with his, she runs her foot up the backs of his legs, lightly tickling the backs of his knees with her toes. Jarod lets out a tiny laugh at the ticklish touch. He smiles widely then closes his mouth around her nipple, pulling it into his mouth and sucking lightly. He runs his tongue along the tip of it, making tiny circles along her nipple as he sucks it. His hand runs up her ribs to her other breast, cupping the bottom of it and brushing his thumb over her other nipple, circling over it. Miss Parker moans loudly, her hand tightening against his scalp. She takes as deep of breaths as possible, which are mostly shallow and sharp. “Jarod,” she whispers raggedly. “That feels so good. I love you so much.”
Jarod smiles against her skin and releases her nipple from his mouth. He moves to her other breast, giving it the same treatment. He moves his hand to the breast his mouth had just abandoned, running his index finger in tiny circles over her nipple, otherwise not touching her breast. He hollows his cheeks around her nipple and sucks it deeper into his mouth, harder, his tongue moving out to lick it, and around it. Miss Parker arches against him, pulling his head further against her. She holds him tightly, her other hand running down his back to his ass, running over it and back up, clutching at his body gently. Jarod groans against her breast, the feeling of her hands on his body driving him insane at the same time it soothes him. He pulls her nipple into his mouth again, grazing it with his teeth and running his tongue over it to soothe her. He runs his hand down her side to her hip, then back around to her ass. He runs his fingers lightly along the skin where thigh becomes ass lightly. His other hand remains over her breast, gently rubbing her nipple between his thumb and index finger.
Miss Parker swallows, shutting her eyes, then opening them quickly. She moves her hand down to his under her ass and gently moves it to her side, squeezing his fingers. She moves her hand back up to his back, running her fingers over his skin lightly.
Jarod runs his thumb over her stomach, keeping the pressure light,skimming his fingers up and down her ribcage. He continues to move his mouth over her nipple, suckling at it as his other hand moves under her breast, cupping and lifting it gently. Miss Parker smiles a little, running her fingers through his hair. She runs her hand over his back, and lifts her head, kissing the top of his gently. “Thank you,” she whispers against his hair before laying her head back down on the pillow.
Jarod shakes his head, not removing his mouth from her breast. “Don’t thank me,” he whispers raggedly over her. “Not for that.” His mouth closes over her other breast, suckling again, his fingers running over her nipple, using the moisture collected there from his mouth to slide over her nipple easier.
Miss Parker runs her fingers over his cheek softly, moaning as he sucks at her nipple. “I have to,” she murmurs. “You did it, and even if it’s not something that warrants thanks to you,” she moans again, a little louder. “It is to me.”
Jarod closes his eyes and slowly releases her breast from his mouth, placing a kiss on the tip of her nipple. “You’re right. I don’t think my not touching you somewhere it makes you uncomfortable for me to touch you is something that warrants thanks,” he whispers, running his lips along the top of her breast, spreading soft, open mouthed kisses around her nipple and
underneath her breast.
“I love you.” Miss Parker whispers. “And I know you feel like you’re just doing what you should be,” she takes his face in her hands and lifts his head to make him look at her. “But liberties were taken with my body that they didn’t have permission to take, and right now, that you listened when I needed something to stop is so incredibly important to me. It’s not that I think you wouldn’t have, because you know that I know you would have. But Jarod, I’m letting you do a lot, and when the simple thing you do is what I want you to stop . . .” she takes a deep breath, staring into his eyes. “I’m not making any sense. But that you stopped touching me, but didn’t stop what still felt good . . . means more to me than I can express.”
Jarod closes his eyes and moves his head up, finding her mouth and kissing her softly. “I’ll always stop when you need me to,” he whispers. “But just because I stop, doesn’t mean I’ll stop touching you all together.” He smiles a little. “Unless that happened to be what you wanted.” He sighs. “You’re right. You were violated in a way you never should’ve been.” He looks her in the eye. “You have control. You decide when it’s too far, and you decide what feels good.” He runs his fingers down her cheek, leaning forward and brushing her lips softly. “I love you more then *I* can express,” he whispers against her mouth.
Miss Parker kisses him back softly. “You know, I miss your mouth on my breasts already.” She smiles. “I love you, and I love the feelings you bring up when you kiss and suck on my nipples like that.” She kisses him again. “No one has ever paid the kind of attention to my body you do. It makes me feel so beautiful, so desired. It makes me feel worshipped.”
“You are,” he whispers, moving his head down. “I do worship you - everything about you, your body, your mind, your soul.” He places his mouth over her nipple and sucks on it quickly. He moves his head back up to her ear. “I enjoy it,” he whispers. “Having my mouth on you is the most beautiful, incredible feeling.” He kisses her earlobe and moves his head down again, encircling her nipple with his mouth again and sucking, licking softly.
Miss Parker moans softly, running her hand down the back of his head. She shuts her eyes and leans her head back, shifting her body slightly into his. She lets out a sharp breath and wraps one of her legs around the backs of his. Jarod lets out a soft moan, his mouth sucking at her nipple harder. He runs his hand down her side to her hip, then back up again. He moves his hand to her other breast and rests it against her ribs, just under the breast. He moves his thumb up and lets it move lightly, teasingly over the underside of her breast. Miss Parker squirms a little under him, letting out a small giggle. She runs her fingers softly over the front of his chest, circling her fingertips over his nipples lightly. She runs her leg up and down his, tracing the muscle of his calf with her toes. Jarod laughs a little, feeling ticklish, but also relishing the sensation. He wraps his lips around her nipple tightly and pulls on it a little, running his tongue over it as he returns his mouth over her breast, sucking on her nipple and the aureole surrounding it.
Miss Parker smiles, feeling more than hearing his laughter. She runs her toes over his leg more, still running her fingers over his nipples. “I love that sound,” she murmurs, lying back deeper against the bed, reveling in the feel of his mouth. “And that feels so
incredible.”
Jarod moves his head, looking up at her, raising one eyebrow, an amused, loving, sexual glint in his eyes. He smiles, one of his heart stopping smiles. “And I love the way your body tastes,” he murmurs, leaning down to her other breast and licking her nipple quickly. “I’ll never be able to get enough of you,” he whispers against her skin, licking at her aureole, pulling at her skin with his teeth lightly, then laving it with his tongue, soothing any pain there might have been. “I could do this for hours,” he mumbles, pulling her nipple into his mouth again, sucking at it.
“You have been,” Miss Parker murmurs, moving her hands to his head and stroking his hair back. “Almost three.” She smiles, letting out another moan. “Best three hours I’ve ever spent.” She stretches her body, moving closer to him.
Jarod lifts his head and looks at her, smiling. “Best three hours I’ve ever spent, too,” he whispers. He leans up and kisses her mouth softly. “And that sound you make. . .” he murmurs against her lips. “It’s the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard in my life.” He moves his mouth back down to her breast. “Are you tired?” he asks softly, moving his cheek back and forth between her breasts, nuzzling her gently.
“Honestly, a little.” Miss Parker sighs. “I don’t want you to stop, but . . . and you know, we do need to get ready to go to the other island. God, I have no desire to move.” She runs her hand over his head, to his back. “Reality bites.” She mutters,
chuckling.
Jarod laughs. “I saw a movie called that,” he says, moving up her body to her mouth. “And I don’t want to stop, either. But I will, because again, you’re right.” He kisses her mouth. “However, I think we can spare another hour just to lie here together.” He looks in her eyes. “I’d like to just lay here with you. . . holding you for awhile.”
Miss Parker smiles, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. “I can do that.” she murmurs, pushing him back gently onto the mattress. She lays her head on his chest, curling herself around him, and kissing his skin softly, nipping at it, and licking it to soothe it. She kisses him again and smiles. “I love you so much.”
Jarod runs his hand through her hair. He wraps his other arm around her back, moving his fingers up and down her spine lightly. “I love you too,” he whispers, “with all my heart and all my soul.”
Miss Parker rubs her cheek over his chest, shutting her eyes. She smiles a little, a contented sigh escaping her lips. “You just hold me, I’m going to shut my eyes and go with a lame attempt to sleep for a while. Maybe the sound of your heartbeat will do
the trick.” She rests her ear over his heart, her arms wrapping tighter around him.
“Sleep Sweetheart,” he whispers into her hair. “Rest peacefully in the knowledge that when you’re in my arms, nothing and no one can touch you. You’re safe Melina.” He smiles softly into her hair. “You’re safe,” he says in a barely audible voice.
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