Table of Contents [Report This]
by Brynna
Rating: NC-17, Semi-graphic rape, Sexual situations, Language, Mild violence
Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this fan fiction belong to NBC and any other copyright holders. No infringement is intended.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’m getting so tired of this.
Yeah, yeah, I’ve brought so much of it on myself. I’m still getting tired of it.
I tap another cigarette our of the pack and light it, inhaling deeply. Smoke fills the room.
He’ll know I’m here, when he gets here. He’ll have no choice but to deal with me.
But this time, I’m not here to slap cuffs on him and parade him back to the Centre. I have a deal for Jarod, this time. I’m offering him myself . . . as a sacrifice, of sorts, I suppose.
The only light in the room being the end of my cigarette, I wait.
I’m getting extremely tired of this.
~~~~
Jarod walked into the small hotel room he was using. Before the door was even halfway open, the stench of cigarette smoke filled his nostrils. He groaned silently, and shut the door behind him, leaning against it. “Well, hello there Miss Parker.”
Jarod. Finally. Taking another drag from the cigarette, finishing it, Miss Parker flipped on the lamp next to her. “Hello Jarod,” She muttered in an acidic tone. “Been off saving the world?”
“Not quite.” Moving cautiously, to sit on the corner of the bed, Jarod eyed her carefully. There was something different, but he couldn’t place it. Just a difference in her eyes, in how she looked at him.
Things had changed. Something had happened to her, and had made her come find him. This wasn’t a social visit, but he knew it wasn’t a usual attempt to bring him in either.
“Daddy *offered* to have me reassigned.” Sucking on air, wishing for another cigarette, and thanking whomever that she was out, Miss Parker sighed. “After some ‘behavioral correction,’ of course.” She shuddered, thinking about it. “And I was given one last chance to fix things. So here I am, to fix them.”
Leaning back, propping himself up on one shoulder, Jarod raised an eyebrow. “How are you going to fix them?” he questions casually.
“I’m offering you a trade Jarod. There’s something I need, and you’re the person I want it from. In exchange, I’ll let you go.” Staring at him, her face hard, but her eyes almost fearful, Miss Parker digs her nails into the palm of her hand.
“Why?” The question was simple, yet loaded.
Miss Parker’s lower lip trembled for the briefest moment, before she clamped her teeth over it. “Because I finally wised up. Things have been going badly lately, and quite frankly, I don’t want them to have you back because it’ll make things so much easier and nicer on their lives.”
Jarod sighed, chuckling bitterly. “It really is nice to know that their misery is the driving force.” He quirked his lips and shrugged a shoulder. “So, what’s the trade here, Miss Parker?”
Standing up and walking over to him, Miss Parker kneeled by the bed, placing a hand on his cheek. “I want . . . I need you to fuck me, Jarod,” she said, her voice only wavering once. “I don’t need questions, or commentary, just the sex. And then, I’ll leave. And you’ll be left alone, because we both know no one else can get as close to you as I have.”
Jarod’s eyes widened the slightest bit, then narrowed. He stared at her, silent, for so long she had started to think he was going to turn her down, tell her to just take him in if that was the trade. She was about to sit back and offer him the handcuffs when he snaked a hand behind her head, threading his fingers into her hair, and pulling her up against him, his lips finding hers in an almost punishing kiss. His hand holding her head firmly against his, he hardened and deepened the kiss, his tongue demanding entrance to her mouth, he pulled her onto the bed and rolled her under him.
Bringing a hand up to the back of his head, Miss Parker forced his mouth closer to hers, knowing that the force behind the kiss would leave her lips swollen and bruised, not caring. She moved her other hand to the back of his shirt and pulled it from the
waistband of his jeans, tugging it up, forcing his head away long enough to pull the material off his body. She tugged his
head back to hers, kissing him again, her teeth nipping at his lips, her tongue tracing over the contours of his mouth.
His hands moving to the top of her shirt, Jarod tightened his fingers around the material. He tugged a little, the first button popping off and skittering across the floor. He tore his mouth from hers and stared down at her raggedly. “Is this what you want?” he asked breathlessly.
Miss Parker’s eyes narrowed questioningly. “Isn’t that what I said?” she asked in a slightly confused voice.
Nodding, Jarod traced his finger over her collar bone lightly. “Yes, and that’s not what I’m asking. Do you really want it like this?”
The movement of his fingers caused her to shiver. “Do I want it like what?” she asked, part of her knowing the answer. It almost caused her to laugh, thinking of how Jarod-like it was to ask her about the gentleness of a proper fuck. “Do I want you tearing my clothes off and fucking me hard, fast, and it being over?” He nodded, still running his fingers over her skin. She
shook her head. “No, I don’t. Not if I think about it.” She placed her hands on top of his, and pulled, ripping her shirt the rest of the way. “But I don’t want to think about it either.” She pressed his hands to her naked breasts, and tugged his head back to
hers.
Stifling a groan against her lips, Jarod formed his hands around her breasts. His thumbs stroked over her nipples, feeling them harden. Miss Parker’s hands clasped around his waist, her fingers sliding around the front to the buckle on his belt. Shifting slightly, he moved enough for her to undo the belt and button-fly jeans he had on. Her hands slid under the material, over the skin on his ass, and squeezed once, hard, before working the jeans and boxers off his hips. Kicking his shoes off, Jarod twisted a little, helping her get the jeans off, and kicked them to the floor. He flipped onto his back, hauling her with him, and
unzipped the side zipper on her leather skirt.
Once she was also naked, Jarod finally broke their kiss, and dipped his head to take one of her nipples into his mouth, sucking on it, gently, then hard, then gently again. Miss Parker moaned, straddling his waist and laying a hand on his erection, stroking it. Not waiting on an invitation, not needing one, she moved her hips and guided him inside her. He groaned into her breast, biting softly at her nipple, then laving it with his tongue as he thrust his hips upwards towards hers. Placing her palms flat on his chest, she used the leverage to raise herself almost completely off him, and sank back down fast, hard. She repeated this movement a few times before Jarod lifted his head from her breast. He took hold of her hips and moved her up and down on his erection, harder and faster, thrusting up to meet her as she came down, watching her face the entire time.
As his hands squeezed her hips, his thrusts becoming stronger and harder, Miss Parker leaned down and began placing open-mouthed kisses over his chest, to one of his nipples. She sucked it into her mouth, and bit down, causing him to raise up against her, and thrust deeper into her. He lifted her off him until he was barely inside her, and slammed her back down.
Again, and again, he did this, as she moved her mouth to his, her tongue pushing through his lips. She arched against him, tightening around him, and moaned loudly into his mouth as she came, shuddering almost violently. He continued to thrust into her, her movement and noises bringing his orgasm on in a rush. He moved his hand from her hips to her back and held her to
him as he came, and she collapsed on top of him, breathing hard.
They laid like that, his arms around her lower back, her hands clutching his shoulders, head on his chest, until they both had regained control of their breathing and had relaxed. She lifted her head after a while and kissed his mouth gently. “Thank you,” she whispered, moving off him and picking up her skirt, sliding it on She reached for his shirt and pulled it on, noting that the t-shirt screamed against the leather. He watched her the entire time. After fixing her hair, and gathering the rest of her belongings, she leaned over and kissed him once more. “You’re free of me now Jarod,” she murmured against his mouth. “Take advantage of it.”
And she slipped out the door, before he could say anything in response.
~~~~~
My father’s house
was warm at night
He used to sing me lullabies
Just like his father before him always did
Just like his mother would have done
If she had lived
~~~~~
Miss Parker sat on her couch, nursing a drink, her forth in an hour, a lit cigarette being ignored in her hand. Her mind wandered, finding every dark, deep, painful recess in her memory, dragging up whatever it could to torment her.
Daddy had told her in no uncertain terms that her performance was a disappointment to him and that she could expect to be punished for her actions, especially since it had come to their attention that she had let Jarod go.
Of course. She should have expected that, now her mind was set on finding who had followed her, who had seen her leave, wearing Jarod’s shirt, and had gone running to her father and Raines. And now she was suffering for her stupidity.
~But it wasn’t stupid,~ a voice in her head argued. ~You needed that, and had been wanting* it for how long? Come on, you gave in to your fantasies *once.* It’s not the end of the world.~
“Maybe not,” she argued back, out loud. “But it may end up killing me, and was that worth death?”
~Absolutely. And it won’t kill you, you won’t let it. Neither will he.~
“God damn it, shut up!” she yelled at herself, downing the last half of the glass of bourbon in one drink. She remembered the cigarette and took a long, slow drag, finishing it as well. Putting it out in the bottom of the glass, she stared at it a moment before throwing it, hard, against the wall next to the door, as she turned her head away from it. It shattered, glass shards flying.
“Temper, temper, Miss Parker,” A mocking voice from her doorway.
Not turning around Miss Parker’s eyes narrowed dangerously. Jesse, a man she’d spent a lonely, drunken night with, who worked for Raines, a man she’d grown, in a short time, todespise the sight of. “What do you want Jesse?” she asked in an exasperated tone. “I don’t really have the energy for your bullshit.”
The man in the doorway walked toward her, laying a large hand on either of her shoulders. “Not mine. You, my lovely, have a little meeting with Mr. Raines.” Before she could move, his hands tightened to a painful grip. “And don’t even bother fighting me.It’ll only make things worse on you.” Casually reaching behind her, Miss Parker felt for her gun. She cursed silently when she felt it was missing from the usual place she kept it when she was home. The man laughed as he hauled her off the couch by her shoulders as if she weighed nothing. The alcohol in her system slowed her response time just enough for Jesse to have her on her feet before she put up a fight. This was bad for him though, as she brought her foot back and kicked him, hard, in the balls. He groaned in pain and doubled over, but kept his grip on her shoulders, tightening it. He sunk to his knees, pulling her with him, and under him, as he curled more, gasping for air. “Stupid bitch,” he gritted out, his hands sliding down her arms to grip her wrists. Bringing them behind her, between her back and his stomach, he squeezed, hard, causing a gasp of pain to leave er body. “Stupid, stupid. You don’t think I would’ve left the gun, do you?” he snarled, finally breathing a little deeper. “Raines wants to see you, if he didn’t . . . you’d live to regret that move so much more than you already will.”
Lifting her head defiantly, Miss Parker turned slightly, as much as she could in his grip, and spit in his face. If she was going down, she was going down fighting. Moving her torso, she slammed her elbow up against his chest. Felt his sharp intake of breath. Smiled ironically as he gripped her wrists tighter. “Get the fuck off me you bastard.”
Jesse shifted his weight, pulling her up, but wrapping a leg around both of hers tightly so she couldn’t kick him again. “Only because you asked so *nicely,*” he growled. Keeping her hands gripped in one hand, he swung his handcuffs around her wrists, making sure she was unable to react while he did.
Setting her jaw, Miss Parker reached down as best she could, and grabbed the man’s crotch between both hands, digging her fingers into the soft flesh beneath his jeans. “Get. The.Fuck. Off. Me.” Annunciating every word, she relished the sounds of his
groans as she squeezed harder.
His grip on her loosened, but he dropped her, instead of letting her go, making sure her head hit the corner of the coffee table on the way down. “I understood you the first time, Miss Parker,” he bit out, kicking her side once, hard, causing her to double in pain. He picked her up, by the handcuffs, and pressed his gun into the small of her back, pushing her toward the door, growling at her stumbling. “Now move your ass, Raines wants to see you.”
~~~~~
Miss Parker never actually saw Raines. She heard him. But she was blindfolded, hands and legs tied to a chair.
“Miss Parker, you’ve become a liability. I’ve had my suspicions that you were helping Jarod,” Wheeze. Wheeze. A squeak of the oxygen tank wheel. “Now I have my proof. You know traitors are punished, and you, Miss Parker, are a traitor.” Wheeze.
And he’d left. Leaving her with a man she didn’t know. Tied to a chair, blindfolded, dried blood from a couple of good hits, on her arm, and left temple.
She didn’t know where she was, Jesse had knocked her out before he got her into the car. She’d come to in the chair, as someone backhanded her across the face. And now she was sitting there, waiting for . . . she didn’t know what. The click of a light switch distracted her attention.
“Comfy?” A male voice hit her ear from her right.
“Fuck you.”
A laugh. “Nah, thanks anyway.”
He would have, probably, if he wasn’t under strict orders only to mess with her head enough to make her talk. “I’d much rather you tell me where your little friend is.”
“I don’t have any friends,” Miss Parker sneered, clenching her hands into fists against the ropes tied too tightly around her wrists.
The man ran a finger down her cheek, and laughed as she jerked her head away. Lifting his hand, he slapped her cheek hard, causing her head to snap back against the side of the chair. “That’s not what I’ve been told Missy.” He gripped her shoulder, digging his fingers into her already bruised flesh. “And I don’t take to being lied to.”
A single gasp of pain left her lips, and then she clamped her teeth firmly over the flesh inside her lips, keeping sound in, as his fingers probed deeper against the bruises. “I honestly,” a breath. “Have no idea what you’re talking about, you bastard.”
“No, no, of course not.” He moved his hand and took her chin between his fingers, gripping with as much force as he felt he could place without breaking her jaw. He was a large man, with a history of wrestling and boxing, and knew his strength. “Listen Missy, I’m sure you understand,” he brought a knee up, slamming it into her ribs, exactly where Jesse had kicked her
earlier. “This is nothing personal. Just,” he slammed his arm down over the back of her neck, knocking her unconscious again. “Doing my job.” He stared down at her a moment before settling back and lighting a cigarette.
~~~~~
Miss Parker’s body was confined. In a very uncomfortable position.
Voices floated around her, none saying anything intelligible.
Faces; Raines, Jarod, Daddy; swept across her face, all looking equally
angry, and menacing.
A blinding pain danced it’s way through her body, and the sound of a baby’s sharp cry met her ears.
A bright flash of white light took it’s place, followed by total
darkness and silence.
~~~~~
Sitting on the couch of a hotel room, Jarod stared blankly at the TV. For the first time in too long, he didn’t have to worry about being found, and he didn’t know quite how to react to that. The ring of his phone diverted his attention away from he nothingness that was it’s focus. “What?” he asked in a distracted tone.
“Careful, you’re starting to sound like her,” Sydney’s voice, obviously upset, came over the phone.
“I’ll watch out for that later. What’s up?” Jarod sighed a little and leaned back, his eyes shut.
A deep sigh came through the phone line. “I don’t have any proof, but . . . Jarod, when was the last time you saw her?”
Images flashed in front of Jarod’s face, and the feel of her body against his became as evident as it would have if she were still there. “A few days ago,” he choked out. “Why?”
“Damn.” Sydney tapped a pen on his desk. “She hasn’t been back to work since the last time I knew she left to find you. I’m afraid they took her. Raines has been a little too happy in the last couple of days.”
Jarod groaned. “Raines happy is never a good sign. Look, I'll do what I can, see if I can find her. I won’t leave her to them,” he swears in a hard, emotion-heavy voice.
“Are you all right Jarod?” Sydney asked carefully.
“No. I’m not all right, not even close. I’ll talk to you as soon as I know something.” Hanging up, Jarod hit the power button on his phone, and went back to staring into space for a moment, before grabbing his laptop and typing furiously.
~~~~~
The man sat in the chair, smoking another cigarette. He had gotten some sleep the night before, while Miss Parker was unconscious, and he was rested, prepared to take on her stubbornness. However, she was still knocked out. An extremely brief moment of concern washed over him, mostly for his own safety if something went wrong with her. It lasted all oftwo seconds, before he decided exactly how he could rationalize if something went wrong.
He eyed his gun carefully. Off chance, he’d just shoot her. Tell them Jarod had shown up, and he’d accidentally hit her while trying to hit Jarod.
But he was confidant that that wouldn’t happen, and he sat back, finishing his cigarette and lighting another off it, starting his
morning chain-smoking habit off right on schedule.
~~~~~
Another piercing cry, that of an infant, filled Miss Parker’s head. Tears rushed down her face from an unknown emotional response. The sound of Raines’ voice took over a moment.
“Take the child. And give *her* the injection.”
No! her mind screamed. Still caught in the throes of a nightmare, but trying, desperately to wake up, she twisted in the bonds keeping her on the chair. “No!” she yelled, her eyes flying open behind the blindfold.
“Oh good, you’re awake.” The man’s voice drifted to her ears. “Do you feel a little more like talking now, after that uncomfortable night?”
Breathing deeply, trying to get a grip on her emotions, Miss Parker shook her head. “Fuck you,” she said harshly.
A chuckle. “Always that answer. Tell me, Missy, do you really want me that much?”
Her spine went straight and rigid. “Don’t speak to me. Kill me already, you won’t get any information out of me. I don’t know anything.”
Standing, the large man walked over to her, taking out a small, sharp knife, and running the blade over her arm, just deep enough to draw a thin line of blood. He watched her jaw set, her muscles tense, as she forced herself to not move, not make noise. “And that’s not what I’ve been told.” He trailed the blade over her cheek, not cutting her, but letting her know it was
there. “You think you’re so strong. You’re not. Come on, give up. Just tell me where Jarod went, and I’ll let you go. Give you cigarettes, a nice bed to sleep in. Some water . . .” he tried to make his voice as tempting as possible, still caressing her cheek with the knife. She jerked away, causing the tip of the knife to prick her cheek. He sighed. “If you would just calm
down . . .” Sliding the knife under the blindfold, he snapped his wrist, pulling the blade through the material over her eyes in a single, swift movement. “Okay, new tactic,” he muttered, watching her blink furiously to clear her vision.
The light in the room was minimal, but after the almost thirty-six hours of being blindfolded, it was too bright for her eyes, and it took almost a full minute before she could see anything but spots in front of her face. “New tactic?” she questioned in a venomous tone. “You think something else will work any better? You’re funny.” Her eyes focused on his face, instantly
memorizing every contour, every shadow, his eyes, hair, mouth, jawline. The features would haunt her, but she shook it off, not needing to worry about that, on top of everything else.
“New tactic,” he began, as if to clarify, while he moved behind her and unsnapped one cuff, gripping her arms tightly, causing bruises to form almost instantly. He unthreaded the cuffs from the back of the chair and re-snapped them. “means I get to try something else. something I’ve found that seems to work on women,” he said slowly, as if talking to a small child, as he pulled her into a standing position, by the handcuffs. Her sharp intake of breath as the metal hit the bruises, on her already sore wrists, caused him to laugh. He slapped her with the back of his hand once, enough force behind it to stun her so he could cut the rope from her ankles. His hands gripped around them and he pulled, sending her falling to the floor, her head hitting hard. Sitting heavily on her legs, he reached out for her, and took hold of her blouse collar. He unbuttoned it a couple of buttons, slowly, staring at her with a menacing look on his face. Three buttons down, and he took hold of the material, pulling up hard. The material tore from her back, and up her to her arms. He kept pulling, and it ripped around the front of the arms, tearing free, leaving only the sleeves on her bound arms. He wouldn’t rape her, as he was just following his orders to get inside her head and make her talk any way he could, without that contact. It was the one thing Raines had forbidden, other
than an un-necessary death.
He moved his hand to her legs, sliding up to under her skirt, and ripping her silk panties down her legs, figuring that being in that vulnerable of a position might make her talk faster. Something in the feel, the sound, set off a trigger in Miss Parker’s head. The images that had been floating in front of her eyes since she was taken from her home suddenly jumbled
together to make a clear picture.
~~~~~
A sixteen year old Miss Parker sat at her father’s desk in his office, waiting for him to return from a meeting. She was drawing in a notepad and was rather oblivious of everything around her. With her back to the door, she didn’t hear the sweeper come in, didn’t even notice him until the contents of the syringe in his hand was being injected into her arm. She let out a scream, and tried to fight him off, but the drug worked quickly, and within a minute, she was slumped in the chair, still conscious, but unable to move or speak. The large man lifted her off the chair and carried her out of the room, down to one of the labs. He placed her on the table, and left.
She stared at the grey ceiling, trying to move, terror coursing through her body. The door opened, and she heard footsteps, three sets of them. Voices, saying things she couldn’t make out, drifted into her ears as if from under water. She blinked, as it was the only movement she could achieve, and continued to stare up, seeing nothing.
The voices stopped. Footsteps, two sets this time, left. And one walked towards her, slowly, forcefully. She blinked. Jarod’s face appeared above her. A brief moment of relief crossed into her mind, then she registered the blank stare, the anger, and it
turned into fear.
Never had she feared Jarod. Her best friend, the little boy whom she gave his first kiss. She had always welcomed seeing him, even after her father had tried to split them apart, and had kept her from him. She would sneak around with Angelo when she knew it was safe, and find wherever Jarod was, and she’d watch him.
But staring up at him, unable to do anything *but* watch, she was terrified of him. She could tell he wasn’t thinking clearly, that he was probably under the influence of some drug, as was she. But it didn’t lessen the terror. He reached for her shirt, and unbuttoned it. Tears came to her eyes, and she blinked again, a tear running down the side of her cheek.
Jarod’s hands mauled her small breasts, grabbing at them with hard, unyielding fingers. He reached down and ran a hand up her leg under her skirt, taking hold of the crotch of her panties, ripping them down her legs. He forced her skirt up to her waist, and thrust his hand between her legs, two fingers roughly slipping inside her, probing her sensitive flesh brutally.
Fresh tears came to Miss Parker’s eyes, and ran down her face as she squeezed them shut, no longer able to take looking up at the young man she cared for so deeply, as he violated her as he was. ~Jarod,~ she pleaded inside her head. ~Please, stop. Please.~
She heard, and felt Jarod removing his pants and climbing on top of her. His hands squeezing her thighs, fingers digging into her flesh, he parted her legs and proceeded to thrust his erect penis into her, hard, angrily. He dug his hands into her legs to the point that she knew she’d have bruises by the time she came out of this, and continued to thrust into her, not seeing her tears, or hearing her silent pleas.
~Please, please, please Jarod. Stop. Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease.~
Finally stopping, he climbed off of her, and she heard footsteps walk towards them She heard another voice, still unable to hear what was being said, and heard two sets of footsteps walking away from her.
Tears ran down her face constantly, and she opened her eyes, having to. When they were closed, all she saw was Jarod above her, hurting her.
After what seemed to her like hours, someone came into the lab, and injected her with something. Almost instantly, she was unconscious.
~~~~~
Tears fell fast down Miss Parker’s face as her mind cleared, and she remembered where she was. She looked at the man who was holding her, his hand running over her stomach. Terror coursed through her as she stared at him, memories still popping up and haunting her every moment. She tried to shut her eyes, and only saw Jarod above her, and she was unable to look away, a mirror behind her, and to both sides kept her seeing the man on top of her wherever she looked.
As he watched, the fight went out of her eyes, replaced only be fear, pain and something else. He grinned evilly at her and moved his hand the slightest bit, watching the tears flow faster. “Ahh, I see I was right. So, are you ready to talk Missy? Hmm? Where’s Jarod?” He ran his hand up her torso to just under her breasts. “Just tell me and this is all over.”
Shaking her head, her eyes shut tightly, Miss Parker moved her body as much as she could. Images of Jarod plagued her, but she didn’t care. “Get off me you bastard,” she bit out, her voice lacking most of her usual strength and bravado.
As she felt his hand move slightly closer to her breast, the man fell backwards, his hand skimming down her torso before losing all contact. Her eyes flew open at his shocked, “What the hell . . .?”
“I should be asking you that question, you son of a bitch.” Jarod. He stood over them both, a enraged look on his face, tone to his voice. A gun was in his hand, pointed at the mans head.
Breathing a little easier, but the terror remaining in her eyes, Miss Parker stared up at him. “Jarod,” she said softly, in a scared tone. “Put the gun down.”
Jarod’s hand twitched a little, and he looked down at her. His eyes blazed as he took in how she looked, the blood on her face and arm, the bruises. He clenched his hands tightly, momentarily forgetting the gun, until it went off, a bullet lodging itself in the brain of the man who had been cowering on the floor. Jarod’s eyes went wide, still staring at Miss Parker, and
the gun fell from his hand. “Oh my god,” he murmured, mostly to himself.
“Jarod.” Finding her voice again, Miss Parker made it as imploring as possible. “Calm down. Uncuff me, please.” She drew her legs up, and swung them enough to sit up before bringing her knees to her chest, leaning against them, her back to him now. “The key is in his pocket.” Forcing back her tears, she leaned into her legs as much as possible, longing to wrap her
arms around them.
Shaking himself, flipping to auto-pilot, Jarod knelt by the dead man and felt inside his pockets for the key. Finding it, he moved to MissParker’s back, and unlocked the cuffs quickly. He watched as she struggled to move her arms around from her back, but her muscles her stiff from lack of movement. Reaching a hand out, he started to massage her shoulder, until he felt
her stiffen from his touch. “Cassandra?” he asked softly, moving his hand. He sighed. “I’m sorry Cassie.”
“Don’t. Jarod, can you . . .” She took a deep, shaky breath and glanced at him. “Can you get me something to put on? A shirt or something?” Wincing with every move, as the feeling started to come back to her arms and the pins and needles effect took it’s place, she brought her arms in front of her, immediately wrapping them around her legs. Jarod stared down at her a moment and nodded, tossing his jacket to the floor and stripping off his t-shirt. He handed it to her wordlessly, and sat in the chair, looking everywhere but at her and the dead body near her as she tried, in vain, to put it on. “Jarod?” she asked softly, looking at him with tear-filled eyes. “Help?”
Sighing, and slipping back to the floor, Jarod took the shirt and carefully, gently, took one of her arms, slipping it into the arm-hole. He did the same with her other arm, and brought the material down over her head. “We need to get out of here,” he said softly, placing a hand on her stiff back. “Can you stand up, or do you need help?”
Forcing herself to her feet, as slowly and carefully as possible, Miss Parker looked at Jarod the briefest moment, before collapsing, unconscious, into his arms. Catching her, Jarod pulled her into his arms and, being careful of where he knew she was hurt, carried her outside to the car he had, and laid her in the back seat. He glanced up once at the door to the small shack
they had been keeping her in, and knew someone would be along soon to check, and find the body. Covering Miss Parker with a blanket, he shut the door and got in, driving away quickly.
~~~~~
My father’s house
Was safe at night
He used to sleep just down the hall
Just like his father before him always would
When he was old
When times were good
He found the time
He found a way
Piece by piece
Day by day
~~~~~
Parking the car at a hotel, after having driven a good seven hours, crossing two state lines, Jarod glanced into the back seat. Miss Parker was curled as tightly as she could be around herself, asleep. She had woken up twice, once screaming, the other sobbing, neither time letting his pull over, or offer her any comfort. She just cried herself back to sleep.
Getting out, he walked to the side of the car and opened the door next to her head. He leaned down and touched her hair lightly, having to hold himself back from touching her more. “Cassandra,” he whispered, a finger running over her cheek. “Wake up.”
Eyes flying open, Miss Parker sat up, scooting away from the touch quickly. She focused on Jarod and stared at him a moment. “Where are we?” she asked quietly.
“At a hotel. I’m too tired and stressed to drive. And you need to sleep on a real bed for a while.” Pain and concern etched on his face, he leaned back from her.
She nodded once, slowly. “Are we far enough away?”
Jarod smiled gently, and a little sadly. “We’ll be fine for at least a couple days. Get your bearings, I’ll go get us a room, okay?”
Biting her lower lip, Miss Parker looked away from him. “Get two beds Jarod,” she said softly, her voice watery.
Shaking off the pain in his chest, Jarod nodded. “Of course. I was planning on it anyway.” Not a lie, even if there had been a hope, somewhere, that they wouldn’t use the other one. He’d known better though, watching her reactions to him. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He stood up and went into the hotel lobby to get a room.
Opening the door to the car, Miss Parker climbed out carefully and slowly, leaning against the side of the car heavily as her legs gave a moment. She stared towards the office door, waiting for Jarod to come out, her mind reeling. She debated getting in the car and driving away, not even caring that Jarod had the keys. A sigh left her lips when he walked out, two room keys in his hand. Walking towards him, she raised an eyebrow. “Got it?”
Jarod nodded, handing her a key, being careful not to touch her. “Yeah, room 1310. There’s two queen-sized beds, and a bathtub, in case you just want to soak a while.” He sighed deeply. “I’m going to probably just fall asleep, so whatever you want to do . . . unless you need me.”
Already walking towards the lobby, she shook her head. “No Jarod, I don’t need you.” She got into the elevator before he was through the lobby, so she was laying on the bed furthest from the door, curled up, a pillow clutched to her chest, when he walked in.
Looking at her, Jarod shut the door and pulled the covers back on his bed, tossing his jacket to the chair and lying on the mattress. “Just wake me if you need me,” he said softly. At her lack of response, he shut his eyes and evened his breathing, forcing himself to sleep.
~~~~~
Tossing and turning, caught in a nightmare, Jarod forced his way to being awake. Opening his eyes as quickly as he could, he looked around. The man’s dead body wasn’t in the room, and he took a deep breath to calm himself. He’d never killed anyone, and it was eating at him. ~It was an accident,~ he told himself over and over again. ~And the son of a bitch deserved it.~ He turned over again, his pillow falling to the floor. Grabbing for it, he looked up to Miss Parker’s face, hard and scared, her eyes closed. Sighing, he turned again, unable to look at her like that without the desire to touch her, comfort her, becoming too much.
“Just go to sleep,” he whispered to himself, taking deep, slow breaths. “It’s not your fault, he was the monster,” he reminded himself, still very quiet.
“He was, Jarod. Stop beating yourself up over his death. If you hadn’t killed him, I would have.” Miss Parker’s voice came softly from theother side of the room.
Not saying anything in response, Jarod shut his eyes tightly, clutching another pillow to his chest. His arms ached to hold her, but he knew better, and let his mind drift enough to allow thethought that he was to enter his head. He relaxed almost instantly and began to drift to sleep, leaving Miss Parker to continue to lay in her bed, eyes shut, trying to sort out what she could.
~~~~~
“Cassandra, will you please at least eat something? I don’t know what’s going on, and I would really appreciate it if you’d tell me, but it’s not something I need right now. But please, eat. I’m getting worried about you.” Jarod set a plate of food from the room service tray down on her bed next to her before retreating to his side of the room. The tension between them hadn’t dulled, and both of their levels of stress had continued to rise,hers over her memories, which kept resurfacing, ever time her eyes shut, or her mind stilled, and his from the guilt of killing a man. Even if he did deserve it.
Miss Parker stared at the food, still in the oversized t-shirt and shorts he’d given her when he’d found her three days earlier. She picked up a piece of toast, with jam on it, and eyed it for a moment before throwing it across the room. She almost smiled when it stuck to the wall. Sighing raggedly, she looked at Jarod carefully. “I remembered something,” she murmured
tearfully. “You raped me.”
Jarod sucked in a sharp breath and sat down heavily on his bed. “I did what?” he croaked out in disbelief.
“Not that night Jarod. When we were sixteen.” Not looking up, tears filled her eyes. “I’m sure you don’t remember it any more than I did. I think you were running a SIM for Raines.”
As she talked, Jarod’s mind dug around for memories. He only came up with flashes.
~~~~~
“We’re going to try something a little more intense than usual Jarod. I’m going to have to give you an injection to help your mind get into the places it needs to.” Raines came towards the sixteen year old with a syringe. Jarod had come to truly fear the man, and didn’t say anything as he was injected. Almost immediately, hestarted to feel an intense rage boiling up in his body, and he was quickly losing rational thought. “Good Jarod. Now, we need to know what goes on inside a mans head while he is raping a woman. You’re going to help us with that.”
With a last shred of sensible thought, Jarod started to object. Before he could voice the objection, his mind succumbed to the drug and he was led out of the room into one of the labs.
~~~~~
“And it all came back to me. The rape, getting pregnant, them taking the baby.” Miss Parker sucked in a breath and finally looked at him, her eyes mixed anger and pain. “So, do you understand why I haven’t been exactly . . . normal since you found me?”
Jarod stared at her, a look of horror on his face. He opened and shut his mouth a few times, and shook his head. “I . . .” he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” he whispered as he stood up and grabbed his room key, bolting from the room. He made it as far as the hotel dumpster before he threw up.
Heaving deep breaths, everything in his stomach having been vomited into the dumpster he was now slumped against, Jarod felt tears roll down his cheeks. He wrapped his arms around his knees and leaned his forehead down against his arms, sobbing. The
more he thought, the more images were coming to him. He began piecing them together, running what he prayed
would be the last SIM of this caliber he ever ran.
~~~~~
Raines and one of his sweepers led the young, and now drugged out Jarod down the hall to the lab that the sweeper had placed Miss Parker inminutes before. No longer seeing anything sharply, just images, Jarod walked into the lab, and towards the table. He heard Raines tell him that it was imperative to know what went through a rapists mind at the time of rape, and that he had to put himself into that frame of mind completely. The sweeper told Raines that ‘the girl was totally susceptible.’ Raines smiled and gave Jarod a little push towards the table, as he and the sweeper left.
Reaching the table, Jarod’s hands, taking on an apparent mind of their own, began to unbutton the blouse of the young woman on the table. His fingers touched her breasts, and he grabbed at them more forcefully, the angry and twisted feelings growing inside him. Something about her seemed familiar to the tiny part of his brain that was fighting to take control, but he couldn’t focus on her enough to know why. He ripped her panties from her body, every movement he made, every touch to her skin enraging him and pushing him further into the delusional state of mind Raines wanted him in.
No longer able to fight the drugs in his system, Jarod pulled the young woman’s skirt up to her waist and forced his fingers inside her body. The drugs had taken on a voice inside his head, telling him to be rough, that it wasn’t important to spare her body. Still inside himself, he fought, but his actions and movements were no longer controlled by the small, and growing smaller, rational voice. Removing his pants, he took hold of her thighs forcefully, and crawled on top of her, proceeding to sink into her body, the drugs speaking louder to him, urging him on. He continued his violent rape of her body, never once seeing her tears. When he was finished, he stood back up and fixed his pants, staring, still not seeing much more than shapes and colors.
As he stood there, Jarod stared down at the woman, and the rational voice became louder. His knees buckled as it began to seriously sink in what had happened, and Raines came in at that exact moment to grab him. Jarod’s eyes cleared, the drugs effects beginning to wear off, and as Raines thanked him for ‘helping them with something very important,’ he noticed the
dark hair of the young woman on the table. A sweeper walked past him, a syringe in his hand, and as Raines led him towards his cell, he discreetly injected something else into Jarod, knocking him unconscious by the time he hit the bed.
~~~~~
Tears finally stopping, Jarod realized he didn’t have the car keys on him. Not wanting to go back into the hotel room just then, he forced himself up from the ground, and pulled his wallet out of his back pocket. He stopped at a vending machine and buys a soda, swigging almost half of it to rinse his mouth out with, then drinking the rest in two drinks. He tossed the can into a garbage can and started walking down the street, heading straight into the first bar he came to.
Not a big drinker, he slumped into a booth on the side, and told the waitress just to bring him whatever. He sat and stared at the table, his fingertip tracing the wood grain pattern. The blonde waitress brought him a glass of something, and smiled flirtatiously at him. He ignored her, and drank the dark liquid in the glass in one drink, asking for another without meeting her eyes. He repeated this three times, before she told him that she wasn’t bringing him any more alcohol until he drank it more slowly. He assuredher he wasn’t driving, and proceeded to drink the next glass in normal-sized drinks. He stayed there until the bar closed, before stumbling out into the street. He stared in thedirection of the hotel where he knew she was probably still sitting on the bed crying, unless she had cried herself to sleep. Deciding going back there was a bad idea, he staggered towards a cheap motel across the street from the hotel, the alcohol really kicking in. He got a room for the night and got into it, falling onto the bed. Not moving, he passed out.
~~~~~
Miss Parker was asleep in her bed when Jarod finally came back, almost forty-eight hours after he had left. He sat in the middle of his bed and stared at her, waiting for her to wake up.He’d been awake and pacing the floor of the motel across the street once his hangover wore off. Trying to make things make sense, he’d worn himself out all over again, and had decided that he needed to talk things out with her.
After a while, Miss Parker stirred, and woke up. She blinked, and turned over, looking at Jarod. “You’re back,” she murmurs, her voice raspy.
“I’m back.” Jarod shut his eyes and sighed. “Cassie, I’m so incredibly sorry. So sorry. I can’t . . .”
“Stop.” Miss Parker shook her head. “I don’t want to hear it Jarod. You didn’t know, any more than I did.”
Leaning back, Jarod cringed. “I’m sorry. I knew, you know I knew. I was never taken in completely blind, I always knew . . . *something.* I tried to fight it, I did. Raines gave me something, and it took over. I will never be able to apologize enough to you for this. I only partly knew consciously what I was doing. And none of this is an excuse. If anything, it’s more reason for you to be upset. Cassandra, I’m sickened by what I did to you, and I should never be forgiven for it, because even with the drugs in my body, I should have been strong enough to fight them, and not do it. I knew it was wrong, what I was doing, but I couldn’t pull the part of me that knew that up far enough to stop.” A few tears fall from his eyes. “I’m so, so sorry. I don’t know what else to say, but I’m sorry.”
While listening to him, Miss Parker sat up and wrapped the blanket tightly around her shoulders. “Jarod, stop. I accept your apologies. I know this is hurting you too. And I know you wouldn’t have done it if you had been in control.” She tightened the blanket, part of her wanting to get up and hug him, the rest of her still hurt, and angry, and a little scared.
“There’s nothing I can think of to make any of this right,” Jarod began, taking deep, steadying breaths. “But I promise you Cassandra, I will find your child. Where ever he or she is, I will find them for you. You will know where, how, and who they are as soon as I can find out. And if you want me to get you somewhere safe, and leave you there, only contacting you when I know where your child is, I’ll completely understand. I’m expecting that, in fact.” He glanced at her, and then looked away, laying back on the bed and staring at the ceiling.
Miss Parker laid back in her bed as well, curling into a ball. “Thank you, but Jarod,” she tried to make her voice steady, and failed. “it’s our child.”
“I don’t deserve for he or she to be my child, after the way they were conceived.”
“Still, you are my child’s father.” Her voice broke over the word ‘father’ and she took a shaky breath, shutting her eyes. “And right now, I think I’m safest with you, as opposed to somewhere else.”
Jarod turned onto his side, shutting his eyes as well. “When you change your mind, tell me. There are places, I know people, and you’ll be safe without me.” He curled his hands around a pillow and buried his face in it, forcing back heaving sobs, trying to lull his mind enough to sleep.
Miss Parker curled tighter into a ball and just laid there, knowing he needed to sleep and get whatever he could out of his system.
~~~~~
Jarod was running.
Chasing someone.
Being chased.
Things kept dashing into his path, blindsiding him, knocking him over.
Disembodied voices whispered to him, telling him he was a rapist, telling him his child would never want him, that Cassandra could never love him.
The faces of Kyle, his mother, his sister, Sydney, Miss Parker, feature-less children danced in front of his eyes, each time he reached out for one, they vanished.
Hands grabbed him, pulled him back from reaching out to Miss Parker, who was cradling a child. She turned a steely gaze on him, hatred in her eyes. She screamed at him to stay awayfrom her, that she despised him and he had hurt her one too many times.
The hands yanked him in different directions, pulling at his limbs violently. He cried out in pain, but the hands kept pulling, tearing him away from a circle of the people he loved the most. A voice, sounding much like the one he remembered hearing while he wasin his drugged out state when this had all started, told him that he would never be able to be part of them, that
once they knew, no one would have him around. And he believed it.
~~~~~
Jarod sat bold upright in bed, sweat running down his face, mingling with tears. He was breathing hard, the nightmare still affecting him strongly. He jumped when he felt a gentle hand on his cheek. Miss Parker sat on the bed next to him, and brushed away his tears.
“Don’t,” he croaked out, pulling away a little. “Please . . .” His eyes were pained as more tears flowed down his cheeks.
Taking a deep breath, Miss Parker took his face in her hands and cupped his cheeks, her thumbs wiping away the tears. “Jarod,” she whispered, making him look at her. “I don’t know what’s going on in your head, but don’t do this.” Her voice was gentle, and she looked into his eyes, hers beseeching.
Jarod’s lower lip trembled with tears he was fighting to keep back. He stared back at her, and his face crumbled, a single sob escaping. Miss Parker shut her eyes and gently pulled him into her arms, rocking him. He tensed, but didn’t pull away from her, crying into her shoulder. “I love you Cassandra,” he whispered, almost inaudibly, against her shoulder. “And I am so sorry. So sorry.” She said nothing, but ran her hand over his back in a soothing gesture until his tears stopped. He lifted his head and pulled away from her, glancing at her once. “And I shouldn’t have said that. It’s not something that you needed to hear. Especially when it sounded like a plea for forgiveness or something equally wrong of me.”
Sighing and standing up, walking towards the window, Miss Parker shrugged. “I don’t think that’s how that sounded Jarod. It sounded like an honest statement from a scared and hurt man. Isn’t that what it was?” She glanced back at him for a moment. “And please, if you need forgiveness, you have it.”
Jarod cringed visibly. “Don’t forgive me. I can’t forgive me, you definitely shouldn’t.”
Turning around to look at him, Miss Parker shook her head. “Jarod, stop. I’m sorry for what this is doing to *you.*” She moved to the chair between their beds, and sat down, drawing her legs under herself. “This is hard on both of us. If you had been in control, it wouldn’t have happened. And that we both were made to forget, thanks to whatever drug Raines gave us, it’s not either of our faults. It’s *not* your fault Jarod.”
“Yes it is. I hurt you, I raped you, and whether I was in total control or not, it’s still my fault. I won’t blame drugs for my actions, even if they did make it easier on me to do it.” Jarod took a shaky breath, looking at her. “And there’s no excuse, nothing to blame, for my killing that man. I never would have thought I was capable of things like that, but evidently, I am,
and it scares me. I can only imagine how you felt while it was happening. And after you remembered it. Cassandra, I . . . I have to find you somewhere else to be. You can’t be with me anymore. I can’t have you around.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m afraid.” Jarod’s voice was hard, laced with unshed tears. “I’m afraid that if that ability is in me somewhere, that it could happen again. And Cassandra, I can’t allow there to be any potential for me to hurt you again. I do love you, I’ve loved you since we were children. But if I hurt you consciously . . . it would kill me. This is almost doing it as it is.” He blinked a few times, hard. “I can’t let you be with me. Not now.”
Miss Parker shut her eyes. “Where should I go Jarod? They’re after both of us, they’ve already gotten me the once, and we’re both less powerful alone, you know that.” She sighed, beating herself up for ignoring his statements about hurting her, but
not able to say anything.
“I know.” Moving off the bed, Jarod knelt on the floor at the side of her chair. He laid a hand on her knee for a moment. “This hurts so much Cassie. All of it. But I don’t want to hurt you more, or worse. I think us being apart would be the best. I have a
friend who has a beach house. It’s secluded, no one’s ever around, and I know you could stay there for a while.”
Her eyes opened, full of tears again. “Fine. Tomorrow we’ll figure it all out. I can tell you won’t change your mind, and I won’t sit here and be a painful thing for you to be around, all the while trailing after you like a lost puppy.”
“Good. Maybe things can be better like this. Maybe they can even be right.” Jarod stood up, and touched the side of her face briefly with one fingertip. “If you think you can, you might want to get some sleep. You’ll be in for a bit of a trip tomorrow.”
“Yeah.” Standing up, Miss Parker walked over to Jarod, laying a hand on his back. “I’m only doing this for you,” she said softly before laying down on her bed, burying herself under her blanket and pillows.
Jarod stood, motionless and watched her for about an hour. He sat at the small table once he saw she was asleep, and took out the DSA’s. He popped one in, sat back, and watched the SIM unfold. He was trapped in a burning building with three other people, and only the ability to save two. It was one he’d remembered, from when he was 17. After the rape. He was
categorizing time now, before the rape and after it. And he didn’t even remember most of that time very well. He barely remembered the act itself, just the bits that had come to him after she had told him. Cassie. Cassandra. The woman he loved, who had truly been the reason he kept ties to the Centre.
He chuckled bitterly to himself. Everyone, he knew, thought his tie was Sydney. If Miss Parker left the Centre, Sydney would leave, Jarod knew this. And so he’d tried to get her to leave. He’d sent her on wild chases, given her cryptic little gifts, hoped she’d get the hint.
And in the end, she’d left. The thing he wanted the most for her. But it was under intensely wrong circumstances. After having been taken, beaten, and had probably the worst repressed memory possible surface.
He watched himself on the small screen, watched as he had to make decisions that affected who lived, who died, and how he’d come to his conclusions. He was doing the same thing now that he had in that SIM. Sacrificing his desires, his needs, his life, for another person. Only this time it was for a totally different reason.
He stared at the screen as the SIM ended. He left it, took the other disks, and put them in another case. He took out some of the hotel stationary and a pen. He wrote quickly, and when he was done, left the note sitting on top of the DSA case, with an
envelope. With a last look at her, he took the car keys and left.
~~~~~
(Oh you look so pretty
don’t forget to say your prayers
I will rock you ‘til you’re sleeping
And I’ll carry you upstairs
And I’ll see you in the morning
I’ll see you in your dreams
I will always be here when you need me)
~~~~~
When Miss Parker woke up in the morning, Jarod was nowhere to be found. She sat up, hoping he’d just gone out for a walk, when she saw the DSA case. She got out of bed and went to the table, picking up the envelope first. She opened it, and found a large amount of cash, easily fifteen thousand. Sighing, she tossed it onto the table and picked up the note.
‘Cassandra,
I know, you’re probably more upset with me for leaving like this, and I’m sorry.
I can’t seem to do anything that doesn’t require an apology on my part lately. Anyway, please, don’t be too upset to go to the location I’ve given you on the other side of this letter.’
Flipping the paper over, she found an address, a name, and a few travel routes marked out. She sighed and turned it back to the letter.
‘Do me a favor, and watch the DSA I left you. Let’s just say it’s symbolic, and it might help you understand what I’m doing, or at the least, maybe calm you down. Take the case with you when you leave, and keep it safe for me. I know I don’t have a right
to ask for that, but I’m hoping you’ll do it anyway.
I promised you I’d look for your child, and I will. You’ll know anything I do, as soon as I can get in touch with you after finding it out. I’ll be in touch as soon as I can, if nothing else, with more money. I know your tastes, that fifteen thousand won’t last you too long.
I’m giving you my cell phone number, so if you need anything, just call me. I expect a call soon yelling at me. Please, wait until you get where you’re going first.
Goodbye Cassie,
Jarod.’
Sitting heavily onto the chair, Miss Parker folded the letter and tucked it into the envelope. She shut her eyes in anger, and gripped the edge of the table for a minute. Her eyes opened, and she stared at the DSA case. Opening it, she hit play and sat back, watching Jarod as he reacted to being trapped in the building, making the decision to give up his life for others. When the SIM was over, Raines came into view of the camera, and began yelling at Jarod that his reaction was wrong, that he as supposed to make the choice in a way in which he kept himself alive.
Jarod argued back that he was told to react however he would if he was in the situation for real, and that was how he’d react. “My life’s not the valuable one, other people have families that need them. Children, parents, lovers. And I don’t. Within that context, I gave every one of those people their lives. I didn’t take one of them from the people they love, who love them. It wasn’t my place to make that choice, so I took myself out of the equation.”
Miss Parker knew this was one of the only times Jarod ever stood up to Raines like that, and she watched as one of Raines’ goons came forward and backhanded the boy, sending him to the floor. Raines walked out of the room, promising that Jarod would regret his actions. The screen went blank as she sat there, staring, for a few minutes. She finally stood up and got
dressed in the pair of jeans and button-down shirt he’d left sitting next to the case. Calling a cab to the airport, she gathered up the case, the money, and her wallet, and left the room.
~~~~~
Walking around Miss Parker’s house, Jarod stepped around various items that were strewn across the floor, the room having been gone through rather thoroughly. He set the few things he knew she’d want on the couch, and glanced around, his eyes settling on the corner of the living room. A small smile spread across his face as he walked over to pick up the bunny out
of the hutch. He cuddled the bunny to him and sat back on the couch, pulling his cell phone out and dialing a number.
“Sydney.”
“How do you rectify hurting the person you care most about, when you barely remember hurting them?” Jarod asked quietly, running his hand
over the bunny.
“I suppose it would depend on what they thought of what had happened, on top of what you felt yourself.” Sydney sighed, leaning back in his chair. “What happened Jarod?”
Jarod chuckled bitterly. “I hurt her. A long time ago, when I couldn’t do anything about it consciously, I hurt her. Badly. She’s tried to forgive me, she’s tried to work through it, but I can’t. I can’t let her forgive me, I can’t let it be, and I don’t know
what to do about it.”
“What happened Jarod?” Sydney asked, concerned. “You’re being rather cryptic.”
“I know. I can’t tell you everything, not without her knowing it. Under the guise of a SIM . . . Sydney, she has a child. Somewhere. And it’s my fault.”
Sydney took the phone away from his ear a moment and looked at it. “You’re saying you’re the father of her child?” he asked gently, clarifying.
Jarod set his jaw. “Yes,” he bit out. “Biologically speaking, that’s what I’m saying.”
“But there’s more?” Sydney pinched the bridge of his nose, not wanting to hear what he was afraid he might.
“Yes, but that’s where I won’t go Syd. She needs to know before I say anything.”
Smiling, Sydney nodded. “You’re always protecting her, even when you know she wouldn’t want it.”
“It isn’t what she wouldn’t want, it’s what’s best for her.” Jarod stroked the bunny’s ears, shutting his eyes.
“She never mentioned a child . . . and neither of you, an incident that would have created one. I know she never would have said anything, but you’ve always been pretty forth-coming about things.” Sydney took a breath. “You didn’t know, did you?”
Jarod sighed deeply. “Neither of us did. I was given something to forget what happened, and I suppose she was as well, once the baby was born. Look, Syd, I better go.”
“Jarod, wait. The best advice I could give you, without knowing everything, is to talk to her. Get everything out, and figure out what you both have to work through. You may not be able to get everything settled easily, but maybe you can get some peace back. Both of you.”
“Thanks Syd.” Jarod swallowed, and leaned his head back against the couch. “Bye.”
“Give her my best, and take care of yourself. Goodbye Jarod.” Sydney hung the phone up and shook his head, staring at it.
~~~~~
Jarod sat on the front porch of Broots’ house, Miss Parker’s bunny sitting in his lap, as Broots and Debbie got out of the car. Debbie’s eyes narrowed at Jarod as they approached the house. “Who are you, and what are you doing with Bugs?” she asked
suspiciously.
Jarod smiled gently at the little girl and handed her the bunny. “I’m a friend of Miss Parker’s, and your dad’s. And Miss Parker’s a little busy right now, she needs someone to watch Bugs for awhile. She thought you might want the job.”
Debbie’s eyes lit up briefly before she turned a still-suspicious gaze on Broots. “Is he telling the truth?” she asked pointedly as he cuddled the bunny.
“Yes,” Broots chuckled, patting her head. “Go take Bugs inside and get him some water, okay?” Debbie nodded and went into the house, leaving the men staring at each other. “What the hell are you doing here Jarod? This is stupid.”
Nodding, Jarod exhaled slowly. “I know. And I really don’t care right now. I need some help, and Miss Parker did need someone to rabbit-sit.”
“Where is she Jarod?” Broots leaned against the wall, looking at him. “Sydney and I have both been trying to figure that out.”
Sighing, Jarod leaned back on his elbows. “She’s safe. Now. Look, I can’t stay too long, but . . . I need to get into the Centre computers, and I need you to kind of . . . open the door and leave the house, so to speak. I know you’ve only helped me out a little when you saw it as necessary, but this is really important. To me and Miss Parker.”
Eyes narrowed, Broots shrugged. “What’s going on Jarod?” he asked bluntly.
Jarod shut his eyes. “Bad stuff. I can’t go into details, but . . . I have to find someone for Miss Parker, I made a promise I can’t break. That I *won’t* break. And those computer files are the only way I can. Let me look around a little, and when I think
it’s safe, I’ll tell you what I can. Please.”
Holding up a hand, Broots sighed. “Yes Jarod. Just let me know when, and you’ll have what you need.”
Standing, offering Broots his hand, Jarod nodded. “Thank you. Keep an ear open, will you? Just . . . if you hear anything that sounds unusual, especially about either Miss Parker or me, let me know?”
Broots nodded, shaking his hand quickly. “I will. Get out of here Jarod.”
With a wave, and a smile, Jarod loped off the porch into a truck, and drove off.
~~~~~
Jarod sat in a restaurant in Wyoming, eating what passed as breakfast. He stared at the table, not seeing anything. He’d gotten a call the night before from his friend, telling him that Miss Parker had arrived at the house safe, and he was waiting for her call. He’d sat up all night in the hotel, watching his phone, knowing as soon as she was rested from the trip, she’d be on the phone to him. It’d been almost a week since he’d snuck out of the hotel room in the middle of the night. Since then, he’d made the tiny detour back to Delaware, and had found his way to Wyoming, where he knew someone he could stay with, keeping a low-ish profile. He was calling out most of the favors he had on stock, but he didn’t really care.
The waitress came over to offer him more coffee, and as she was pouring, his phone rang. Reaching for it, he hit the ‘ok’ button and held it to his ear. “Cassandra?”
“Brilliant, genius.” Her voice dripped with a combination of venom and amusement. “Are you out having fun somewhere, I do hope?”
Sighing, Jarod sat back in the booth, taking a sip of coffee. “Just having breakfast. Most important meal of the day, you know. I do hope you plan on eating sometime today.”
Miss Parker let out a bark of laughter. “Just planning on exceeding my recommended daily intake of caffeine and nicotine, perhaps with a side of legal barbiturates.”
“That’s not good for you, you know.”
“There’s a lot that’s not good for me Jarod. I don’t really care. Where the hell are you?” She drummed her nails on the wall loud enough for him to hear.
“In a little diner somewhere in the Wyoming. How’s everything there?” He decided not to play coy, knowing she wasn’t in the mood for it.
“Oh just lovely. It’s hot, muggy, and almost everyone within a fifty mile radius is over the age of sixty. Why does Michael own a house in the middle of a retirement community?”
Jarod chuckled. “Because it’s the perfect place to disappear for a while, no one around talks to you, and they don’t really notice if you’re there. According to him.” He took a breath. “How are you?” he asked gently.
Miss Parker sucked in a breath, leaning against the door frame where she was watching the surf. “Absolutely wonderful, can’t you tell?” she asked in a watery voice. He didn’t say anything. “Why did you leave? I *had* agreed to leave after we talked
some more. You didn’t have to run out on me.”
“Yes I did,” he replied softly. “If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have left, and I wouldn’t have let you go. I’m . . .”
“Don’t say it Jarod. I’m tired of you apologizing for things that you don’t need to.”
“Okay, no apologizing in this conversation. Got it.” Jarod took another drink of his coffee. “Thank you for going there, I know you’re not happy in Florida, but it is a place you can just hide for a while.”
“I understand why you wanted me here. Who knows, maybe I’ll go bake in the sun for a few hours. Hell, skin cancer could be fun,” she mutters bitterly. A long moment of silence ensued. “I watched the DSA,” she practically whispered into the phone.
Jarod nodded. “Good. You have it with you?” His voice told her that he wasn’t concerned about the case, but about it’s impact on her.
“Yes,” she said, still softly. “I think I get it. You’re still wrong, but I understand better.”
“I went back to Blue Cove,” Jarod murmured, changing the subject.
Miss Parker’s eyes widened and she leaned more heavily against the door frame. “What? Jarod, are you insane?”
“Probably. I had to make sure a few things were taken care of. I only went by your place and Broots’. Your house had been pretty trashed, obviously they were trying to figure out wherewe might have gone.”
“Of course. What were you doing there Jarod?”
Jarod smiled. “I had to get a few things of yours. You have a . . . care package, of sorts, on it’s way down there, with some more cash. And Debbie is rabbit-sitting.”
“She is?” Miss Parker’s voice lit up a tiny bit. “Thank you. What were you bugging Broots about, other than that?”
“I wasn’t bugging him, I was asking him for a favor. Broots . . . has been a valuable ally recently.” Jarod chuckled at the sound of her sliding down the wall to the ground heavily. “Careful there, Miss Parker,” he said in a lightly teasing voice. “I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.”
“I’m fine Jarod,” she gritted out. “He was helping you?”
“You have to promise not to kill him later. Besides, if he hadn’t been, who knows what might have happened.”
“That little . . .” Letting out an exasperated chuckle, Miss Parker leaned her head back. “And to think, I always saw Broots as a spineless wimp who’d come groveling to the nearest person at the Centre if he knew where you were just so we didn’t put him
in time-out.”
“You underestimate Broots considerably.” Jarod sighed. “He’s helped me only when he felt it necessary, but I’m forever grateful to him for it.”
“I’m sure you are.” She tapped her fingers on the phone a couple times, the clicking sounding hollow to her ears. “So, what favor were you asking him for?”
“Just to keep his ears open, and occasionally, his eyes shut. I need access to some places in the Centre’s computers that I can only get into if he lets me, and ignores me. So I just cleared a few things with him.” He took a drink of coffee and tossed some cash onto the table, standing up. “And Sydney asked me to pass on his regards. He misses you.”
“Yeah, I’m sure he misses my yelling at him and pulling a gun in his face.” Pulling out a pack of cigarettes, Miss Parker lit one and took a drag, exhaling slowly. “Look, I’m going to go, Ineed to think for a while. I’ll probably take a walk down the beach or something.”
Walking outside, Jarod got into the truck he was driving. “Okay. Try and eat something later. Get some sleep. All of those ‘take care of you’things.”
Miss Parker smiled. “Bye Jarod, I’ll talk to you in a few days, I’m sure. Take care of yourself.” She hung up before he could say anything and sat, staring at the phone.
Jarod smiled a little sadly and tucked his phone into his jacket pocket, turning the ignition on and driving down the road.
~~~~~
Miss Parker opened the door to the house she was staying in, and almost tripped over a box that laid there. She looked down at it, saw it was the box Jarod had mentioned a few days earlier, and carried it into the house.
Setting the box down, she opened it carefully, pulling out first an envelope. It contained another fifteen thousand dollars, and a short note.
‘Cassandra,
A few things I know you’re going to want. Sorry I couldn’t get everything.
Jarod’
Smiling a little, she started pulling things out of the box. Her green nightclothes. ‘Little Women.’ A few pieces of jewelry. A few other pieces of clothing, some of her favorites. At the bottom of the box was a small stuffed teddy bear, old and slightly tattered. Her hand froze over it, and she wondered aloud how he found it. Taking it carefully out of the box, she stared
at it, remembering putting it in the back of her closet, hidden inside of a box, buried under piles of other things. She hadn’t wanted to see it again, to be reminded of her childhood and of the night she’d been given the bear.
It was raining, and her parents had been fighting. They always seemed to fight around that time. Her mother had come into her room, where she had been trying to block out the sounds of yelling, and had given her the bear. It had a bright red ribbon around it’s neck, and it was soft, perfect for holding onto. Mom had told her that it was just an ‘I love you’ present, and that she as sorry about the noise. She promised it would stop soon, that everything would be better, and she’d kissed her cheek. Leaving, mom had given her a little wave, tears sparkling in her eyes.
That had been three weeks before she had been killed. And Miss Parker had held onto that bear so tightly for so long, then she’d decided she didn’t want to see it anymore. And it got stuffed into the back of a closet every time she’d moved.
Now, she swallowed hard, her eyes shutting, and clutched the bear to her chest, a tear escaping from her closed eyelids.
It took almost twenty minutes before she noticed the diary laying at the bottom of the box. Her mother’s diary.
~~~~~
“Thank you.” Miss Parker didn’t even wait for a hello when Jarod answered the phone.
“Hi, and you’re welcome.” Jarod smiled into the phone. “Everything got there okay?”
“Just fine Jarod.” She took a deep, ragged breath, her hand clutching the bear, the diary laying open in her lap.
“I hope I didn’t upset you too much with the bear and the diary, I just figured you might need them about now.” Settling back onto the bed, Jarod leaned his head against a pillow.
“I . . . Jarod, they were things I needed. The bear, just . . . I needed the memories, and you finally decided to let me have the diary. I’m still, constantly, upset that you haven’t given me these things beforehand, but I guess I understand why you haven’t. To some degree.”
“Good. I expected that. Well, okay, not really the understanding part. I hoped, but . . .” Smiling a little, Jarod rolled onto his side, propping his head up with one hand.
“Jarod, look, we need to talk. I know how much you blame yourself for what happened, how much you think it’s your fault. It’s not. I don’t really know how I can get that through to you. I wish, so much, that I could just say ‘everything’s okay, you didn’t hurt me, it’s not your fault,’ but you and I both know that’s true. It’s not your fault, but . . . you did hurt me, and I can’t say otherwise.” Sighing, curling up in the chair, Miss Parker shuts her eyes against tears.
“And that’s why I can’t have you with me. I can’t take the chance of hurting you again.” He fell back onto his back, his eyes shut tightly.
Miss Parker sighed. “Damn it Jarod, you *are* hurting me, don’t you get that? You’re not allowing me to be where I want to, to do what I want to, and unfortunately, with what’s going on right now, I have to pretty much listen to you or else risk being killed. So I’m listening, unhappily. But I’m tired of this. I want to have a moment that I can just breathe, without pain filling every part of my body.”
“And I wish I could do something to change that.” Jarod sighed, switching ears with the phone, pausing briefly to breathe.
“You can. Don’t you get that? You can change it by letting me be with you. Letting me have a little bit of what I want out of this shitty situation.”
“What should I do? You want me to just push everything back and pray every waking moment that I won’t do something else to hurt you?” His voice broke a little over his words.
“No Jarod, I want you to not feel like this at all. I want you to not think that you’re going to hurt me, that you’re capable of hurting me the way you think you are.” Taking a breath, Miss Parker hugged the bear closer to her. “Once, *once* Jarod . . . you, under the influence of a mind-fuck drug, you raped me. Neither of us were in any form on control, if you had been
able to hear me say anything to you, if I had been able to talk, or move, you wouldn’t have done it. If you had a conscious choice, you wouldn’t have done it. And I know you well enough to say, with absolute confidence, that you will *not* do it again, or anything like it.”
Jarod felt tears sting his eyes, and tried, unsuccessfully to force them back. “How can you be that confident? I can’t be. I would love to know how to do that.”
“I can because I trust you, and I trust your heart. After everything, I know that’s hard for you to believe, but it’s true. It’s almost hard for me to understand.” Miss Parker sucked in a deep breath. “But it’s how I feel.”
“Cassandra, I really need some time, okay? I need to know that I won’t do this again, and I don’t right now. I’ll talk to you soon.” Hanging up the phone quickly, Jarod turned the power off and laid it on the pillow next to him, staring at it.
Miss Parker hung the phone up and curled more into the chair, her face pressed against the bear in her arms.
~~~~~
Silent night, holy night
I left a light on in the hallway
All is warm, all is bright
I keep my vision in my hand
Silent night, holy night
Life goes on beyond my eyelids
All is safe, out of sight
~~~~~
Two weeks later, Jarod was walking into the stables on the piece of property his friends owned. He had been trying for weeks to get information about Miss Parker’s child, and had come up empty-handed. He did admit to himself that he had been distracted as well, and it wasn’t helping, so he’d decided to go for a ride, hoping that being out in the middle of nowhere, alone on a horse would clear his head. He entered the stable and picked up a leadrope, going over to a gray mare. “Hey girl,” he murmured to the horse, clicking the leadrope onto her halter and opening the stall door. He led the horse to the center of the barn, and clipped her into the cross-ties, taking out a grooming bucket and giving her a brush down. He tacked her up and unclipped the cross-ties, mounting up, and headed out of the barn towards the open fields by the river.
He rode for an hour, trying to forget everything that was going on. It didn’t work, and as he rode, he kept seeing flashes of his recurring nightmare, everyone and everything he cared about vanishing before his eyes, turning away from him. As he headed back to the stable, the clouds that had been threatening opened up and it began to rain heavily. Within a minute, Jarod and horse were soaked. He kicked the mare into a clipped, careful trot and they got back into the barn quickly. After untacking and giving her a good rub down, he bedded the mare down and ran into the house. Walking into the kitchen, he poured himself a cup of coffee and leaned against the counter, shutting his eyes.
“Aren’t you going to offer me some?” A voice hit his ears from the doorway of the kitchen.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, not opening his eyes.
“I missed you Jarod,” Miss Parker bit out, walking over and pouring herself some coffee. “I got tired of Florida, I hadn’t heard from you in almost two weeks, and I decided to come up here. We need to talk anyway, our last conversation was left hanging.” She looked at him carefully. “Would you like a towel or something?”
Sighing, Jarod opened his eyes. “I was going to take a shower,” he mutters. “I’ll just go change, give me a few minutes. Make yourself comfortable.”
Nodding, Miss Parker sat down at the table and waited, drinking her coffee slowly.
~~~~~
Once in the bedroom he was using, Jarod quickly changed into dry jeans and a t-shirt. He sighed, looking out at the rain and wondering if it had been a foreshadowing of anything. He was about to leave the room when his computer beeped at him. He sat down and downloaded the incoming file he was receiving.
‘J -
Found this, I think it’s what you’re looking for.
B’
Broots had come through, finding the files. Jarod scanned them quickly, and then sat back to read them more carefully. When he was finished, he realized he’d been there almost twenty minutes, and quickly got up, heading back to the kitchen.
~~~~~
“I found her.”
“What?” Miss Parker looked up from her coffee cup.
Jarod leaned against the counter, his arms folded across his chest. “Shelly. You’re daughter. I found her.”
Tears filled Miss Parker’s eyes as she covered her mouth in shock. “Shelly? That’s her name? Where is
she?”
“You don’t want to know,” Jarod muttered, staring down at the floor. “Raines had her taken to a subdivision of the Centre, in Europe, where she was until about two ago. They moved her back to the states, and to a small Centre-owned . . . something, I haven’t found out it’s use yet, housed in a warehouse. She’s become their perfect Pretender. The absolute in what they wanted. Our intelligence combined, and she’s one hundred percent loyal to Raines and his agenda.”
“I was afraid of that,” She said in a hurt and angry tone. “They had her since birth, they could condition her.”
“And that’s what happened.” Jarod smiled a sad, pathetic smile. “She’s in Nebraska. I guess that’s as far in the middle of nowhere as they could get. They’ve had her completely isolated since she was taken from you, she’s only had long-term contact with five people, three of whom are sweepers. Raines and a colleague are the others. From what I’ve found out, she’s never asked, never questioned, where she is, why she is.”
A tear ran down Miss Parker’s cheek. “Of course. Why would she, everything that she needs to know, as far as she’s experienced, has been perfectly explained away by the only person she’s ever known to trust. Heaven forbid she should know what the son-of-a-bitch did to get her into the world in the first place.”
Jarod walked to her side and placed a hand on top of her head. “I don’t know how yet, but we’ll fix this. She won’t be this loyal to him forever. I promise you.”
She nodded. “When did you find her?”
“Just now. Some things came through while I was upstairs. Files, records of where she was, from age one, her medical history, a blood sample that was compared to yours.” Pausing a moment, Jarod sat in the chair next to her. “And mine.”
Miss Parker shut her eyes. “Who compared them?” she asked softly.
“Again, you have to promise not to kill him.”
Sighing, she nodded. “Broots. All hail the concurring hero,” she muttered quietly.
“He’s a good person to have in our corner,” Jarod said softly. “I have all of the information upstairs on my computer, I know you want to read it. It would scare me if you started having blind faith in me.”
Nodding, Miss Parker stood up and held the coffee cup tightly. “Please, I would like to read them.” She waited as Jarod stood up and led the way to his laptop. He motioned to the chair, and took a seat on the bed. Sitting, she tapped the touch-pad mouse once, bringing up a screen of text. She began to read.
‘Case Notes
Re: Shelly
Date: June 24th, 1997
The subject shows incredible potential, and has a loyalty that I perceive only death can break, as long as she is kept within our grasp. She is young, and highly intelligent, showing the likelihood of large amounts of growth. Adapts well, doesn’t want to know the outside world. I recommend Shelly for high-level projects, where the abilities possessed can be utilized at
the most efficient degree. The perfect Pretender, shows no set sense of morality, and is steadfast in completing tasks given to her.
Her need to please is a trait we can’t breed, and her strong desire for our truths is what we’ve wanted. She is the flawless combination of our attempts. Comprised of all of their strengths, none of their weaknesses have surfaced yet. I am confidant that they won’t.
We must push her now, see what she is capable of under more stringent, evere circumstances.
Dr. David Carlyle’
‘To: Triumvirate
From: Dr. Raines
Date: January 3rd, 1997
Re: Shelly’s Move
After careful review, we’ve decided that Shelly’s abilities will be best served by a relocation to the United States. Enclosed, please find travel arrangements, relocation address, and the necessary documentation for the move. We will be setting things into motion next Tuesday, after she has finished her current project.
Mr. Raines’
‘To: Dr. Raines
From: Dr. Carlyle
Date: May 16th, 1994
Re: Shelly’s progress
Dr. Raines,
Shelly has been showing tremendous growth in her abilities, her time tables have been almost cut in half over the past few weeks in her SIMs. She no longer has objections to the small spaces, we seem to have worked past them. Thankfully, that’s been the
only thing that’s come out at all predominately. Please advise about the contact beyond you, Eric and I. I don’t have a desire to keep Eric working twenty hours a day unless I have to, he’ll get sloppy. I know she hasn’t seen anyone but the three of us her entire life, but I think it may be time to bring in a couple more Sweepers.
Also, please provide me a list of things you want her to work on. We’vehad her running some of the same SIMs as Jarod, attempting to see what her results will be. And they have been consistently identical, with the occasional improvements. For such a young girl, Shelly has quite the handle on what’s she’s doing.
Dr. Carlyle’
Shuddering, her face contorted in disgust, Miss Parker leaned back and pulled up the lab results. Staring at them a moment, she sighed, and turned towards Jarod. “They are seriously sick individuals,” she murmurs, tears and anger lacing her voice.
“Yes they are.” Jarod shrugged a little, not sure of what to say. “Are you all right?” he finally asked.
Looking at him, Miss Parker blinked a few times, hard. “No.” she stated simply. “I want my daughter, and I want these bastards dead. And I will not be okay until that, and this . . . tension, problem, whatever you want to call it between us are taken care of.”
Jarod sighed, standing up. He placed a hand on her shoulder, and tapped a few keys on the keyboard, pulling up a picture of a beautiful young girl. Long brown hair. Big, dark, sad eyes. Full lips, in a slight pout. High cheekbones, a strong jawline. The perfect blend of the two of them. “I don’t think you opened this,” he said gently, squeezing her shoulder and stepping back from her a few feet.
Tears filling her eyes, Miss Parker stared at the picture. “When was this taken?” she asked, as a tear slipped down her cheek, her hand came up to touch the screen.
“Five months ago. They have pictures from birth, every six months, documenting her growth. I only have this one, but I will find the rest. You deserve to have them.”
Turning around, Miss Parker stood up and walked over to Jarod, taking his hand in hers and holding it firmly when he tried to pull away. “*We* deserve to have them Jarod. I don’t know how to get this into your head, but she is your daughter as well as mine. She is a part of you, just like she’s a part of me. Why can’t you accept that?”
“Because I don’t, under any circumstances, deserve to be her father.” Jarod gently pried her fingers from his hand and moved away, to the window. “And I don’t see there being something to change my mind, as much as I would like there to be.”
Moving behind him, Miss Parker shut her eyes, and wrapped her arms around his waist tightly, holding him so he couldn’t get away easily. She rested her cheek against his back. “Jarod,” she said softly. “Please, *listen* to me. What happened was not your fault. It was not something you had control over. You *have* to stop beating yourself up over it. I don’t blame you, don’t blame yourself. Blame them. Raines. It was his orchestration that caused the entire thing.” She took a breath, holding him tighter. “And to think that he just had to lock us in a room together for a few hours to achieve the same results. But then again, he wouldn’t have had me under his little drug for as long as he did, and we would have remembered. And that would have hindered his agenda.”
Taking a shuddering breath, Jarod turned in her arms and looked down at her with tears in his eyes. He swallowed hard and wrapped his arms around her waist, crushing her against him, his face buried in her hair, his body wracked with sobs. She held him, a hand running to the back of his neck to hold his head against her lightly. When he was sobbed out, Jarod lifted his
head, not letting her go. “God Cassie, who the hell decided our lives had to be this messed up?” he asked in a hurt little boy voice.
“I don’t know.” Miss Parker’s hand ran from the back of his neck to his cheek and she wiped away the last of his tears. “I guess we must’ve done something wrong in a past life, and we’re paying for it.” She smiled a sad, little smile. “Other than that, I don’t know.”
“I know you’re sick of hearing this,” Jarod kissed her forehead with the lightest of touches. “but I am so sorry. Sorry for what they did to you, for them taking your innocence from you in every way they could. And I’m sorry for every moment in our lives that I’ve done something to hurt you, as unintentional and uncontrollable it may have been.” His voice wavered a few times, trying to be strong and convincing, and failing miserably.
“I know you are Jarod.” Pulling him back against her, she allowed her tears flow, her face pressed into his chest. They just held each other and cried, both needing the solace only the other could provide.
~~~~~
Sitting side by side in Jarod’s truck, Miss Parker checked the map again as Jarod maneuvered through the heavy evening traffic of downtown Lincoln. “Get off at the next exit.”
Jarod nodded, not taking his eyes off the road. Getting off the freeway, he followed the directions she pointed in until they were stopped in front of a large warehouse, nondescript and dark-looking. “Well, home sweet home,” he muttered under his breath. He sized up the warehouse quickly, noting the single door in the front, no access to the rear from where they were, the two sweepers outside the door. “We’ll come back tonight. It’ll be easier to get in, not that I think it’ll be hard now.” He glanced at her. “Is that okay?”
Miss Parker nodded. “Yeah. I’ve waited this long, another few hours won’t hurt.” She settled back as Jarod drove further down the road, out of easy sight.
Turning the ignition off, Jarod sat back, and reached into the back seat of the double cab, pulling out a small bag. He took an extra clip for her gun out and handed it to her, and dug into the bag for a packaged syringe and bottle of liquid sedative. He glanced at her, and tucked it into his jacket.
“Is that necessary?” Voice wavering the slightest bit, Miss Parker eyed the pocket he’d put it into.
“It most likely will be.” Jarod sighed, squeezing her hand briefly. “She knows only Raines, this Dr. Carlyle person, and a few sweepers. Knocking her out may be the only way to get her out without risking all of our lives further. Don’t worry, it’s a strong, yet totally safe sedative.”
“I trust you.”
“That means a lot,” Jarod whispers, smiling sadly at her. “I want you to be prepared for the fact that we may very well have to keep her sedated and possibly under lock and key for a while. I don’t want to keep her tied down anywhere, but there is a good chance we may need to for a little while. Until we can get her to trust us, and we know she won’t bolt. We’ll try
other ways, and since she’s been brought up with the same conditions I was, that we’re both used to, we might get lucky, she might just be curious enough, once she’s calm, to reason with . . . and we’ll have to leave the state tonight, after we get her out. It’s a safe bet that they haven’t really instructed her on the finer points of ‘calling home’ from out of state.”
Sucking in a breath, Miss Parker nodded, her eyes shut. “I know. I’ve thought of all of this. And I hate it. I know I don’t know her, but she’s still my child. God Jarod, this is so bad. I have such a protective streak for her already, and it’s kicking in, wanting to protect her from me. I know what I’m going to have to do to keep her safe from them, but it’s tearing a hole inside me to think of causing her any pain in order to do it.”
“I know it is Cassie.” Jarod brought his feet up on the seat and leaned his arms on his knees. “I can completely relate. It’s how I’ve been feeling myself.” He sighed deeply. “And I know you feel maternal towards her as it is. It’s good, maybe that can be the thing that breaks through fastest. She’s never even seen another woman before, I’m hoping that you can get her to relate to you.”
“Me too.” Sighing, she looked at the clock, which read 6:45pm. “So, when are we going to go in there?”
Jarod nodded at the clock. “Fifteen minutes. There’s a shift change for the Sweepers playing security at seven. We should be able to get in relatively easily. We get in, get to Shelly, inject her with this stuff,” he pats his jacket pocket. “And then get out. I don’t have all the specifics worked out, but I have an idea or two. We should be out of there by eight, and back on the road. Can you handle this?” he asked softly, concerned.
Swallowing hard, Miss Parker nodded. “Yeah,” she said in a watery voice. She cleared her throat, forcing her voice to be steady. “Yeah, I can do this. I’m fine.”
“Lair.” Jarod smiled gently. “I have an idea how you feel.” He glanced at the clock. “Come on, we’re going to go stake out the situation.”
Climbing out of the truck, Miss Parker checked the clip in her gun, and pocketed the extra clip. “I really wish you were going in armed.”
Jarod shook his head. “Nope, I need my hands free, and I’d rather not have a gun on me right about now.” He smiled and started walking in the direction of the warehouse, keeping his pace casual as he eyed the two men who were talking to each other, not really paying attention to the door they were watching.
Miss Parker hung behind him a few feet, and surveyed the area, noting the windows that were ground-level, but with bars over them. She shuddered a little, thinking of any child, but especially hers, being inside that building. She caught up to Jarod and took his hand, glancing at him. “Might look better if we look like a couple just out for a walk.”
Nodding, Jarod squeezed her hand. “I see you saw the windows. We may have to get out through one of those. It’ll depend on how the door is watched on the way out.” He glanced at his watch, noting the time. “Okay, three minutes, and the new people will be here. We should have a two minute window to get in.”
Eyes widening a little, Miss Parker nodded. They walked towards the side of the building, and ducked behind some shrubbery, waiting. As the night guards showed up, they and the evening ones conferred over a clipboard as Jarod pushed Miss Parker
forward where she snuck into the open door quickly. Jarod hung back, waiting for the leaving guards to leave. Once they do, he went up towards the door, slipping a pair of sunglasses on and staggered towards the guards.
“Hey-lo,” he slurred his voice slightly, bumping into one of them. “Didja know there’s someone trying to,” he hiccuped exaggeratedly. “Do something over there, on the side of yer buildin’?”
The sweeper he crashed into shook himself a little, and they both nodded thanks to Jarod, heading to the side of the building when they saw him walking away towards the street. As soon as they were out of sight, he ducked inside, finding Miss Parker hiding in the first shadowed doorway he came to. It was the main office doorway, and he slipped inside, pulling up the security iles and hindering them enough to shut the cameras off. “Come on, let’s go get Shelly.”
Taking a deep breath, Miss Parker tucked her gun into the palm of her hand and tipped her head to the side. “Yeah, let’s go.”
They exited the room, and Jarod took in the inside of the building, noting that it was set up much like the Centre itself, inside. Only he suspected that the cells were on the same floor, and there weren’t many, if any, sub-levels. They made their way towards the back of the building, past a couple labs, to a corridor, at the end of which was a single sweeper, his back to
them, reading a book. Silently, Jarod nodded towards him. “That’s where she is,” he mouthed.
Narrowing her eyes, Miss Parker took off her shoes, and gestured for Jarod to stay where he was. She aimed her gun at the man’s head, and crept towards him, her side pressed to the wall. She got directly behind him and pressed her gun into the base of his skull. “Don’t move, don’t even breathe, unless you hear me tell you to first,” she said in a low, dangerous voice. The man froze, his book falling to the floor. She reached down behind him, pulling his handcuffs from his belt, and cuffed his hands, running the chain through the chair back. By the time she had him cuffed, Jarod was at her side. He picked up the keyring from
by the man’s feet and unlocked the door to Shelly’s room, where the young girl was on her bed, asleep. Jarod was familiar with this schedule, and said a silent prayer of thanks that she had actually fallen asleep. Walking to her side, he kneeled down and pulled the syringe and sedative out of his pocket. Preparing a dose, he reached for her arm, and injected it into her.
Shelly stirred as the needle pierced her skin, and woke as Jarod removed it. “What . . . Who are you?” she asked in a fearful, yet angry voice that sounded to Jarod a lot like Miss Parker’s.
“It’s all right Shelly,” he said in a soothing voice. “Just stay calm.”
“What are you doing in here?” Shelly demanded, the sedative already kicking in on her sleep-addled brain. She looked at the syringe in his hand and let out a loud, ear-piercing scream in terror at the sight. “Get away from me!” she screamed, kicking at him as she moved back into the corner of the bed.
Jarod sat back from her, and swallowed. “Shelly, it’s okay,” he whispered softly, fighting back a wave of pain at the look in her eyes.
Walking into the room, Miss Parker looked at Jarod, then at Shelly. “What’s going on?” she asked casually.
“He . . . I don’t know,” Shelly murmured, her voice slow and slurred as the drug took effect. “What’s happening?”
Sitting on the bed next to Jarod, Miss Parker laid a hand on Shelly’s leg. “It’s all right. We’re taking you out of here.”
Shelly’s eyes widened against the drug, and she shook her head. “No. I can’t leave here. I don’t want to leave here. Who are you? Why are you . . .” The drug kicked in completely, and she slipped into unconsciousness.
Jarod sat, almost frozen, staring at Shelly. Miss Parker shook him a little. “Jarod. You okay?”
“No.” He shook himself and stood up, picking Shelly up in his arms. “But I can be until we’re out of here.” He started out of the room with her, Miss Parker following.
The sweeper who had been guarding Shelly sat, unconscious, his tie used as a gag, and blood running down the side of his head. Miss Parker shrugged. “Hey, I didn’t kill him. I’m proud of myself.”
Jarod shook his head and kept walking. Back in the office, he set the girl down in a chair long enough to set the cameras back on a ten minute start-up delay. He turned to the window, and opened it, unscrewing the screws that kept the bars up quickly with an electric screwdriver, and popped them out onto the ground. He looked at Miss Parker. “Easiest way out,” he murmured, offering her a hand. She smiled and took it, climbing out the window. When she was outside, Jarod picked Shelly back up and climbed out the window himself. They were outside the warehouse, on the side behind the shrubbery again. Jarod turned his back to Miss Parker. “Truck keys are in my back pocket. Go get it and drive it about half a block to this side of the building.”
“Okay.” Sticking her hand into the pocket of his jeans, she quickly pulled the keys out, trying not to think about anything but getting out of there. She hurried across the small area of grass to the sidewalk as soon as the sweeper/guards were turned away from them, and walked along towards the truck. Getting in, she started it and drove back, parking just out of the line of
vision of the door into the warehouse. She waited, impatiently, for Jarod.
Moving quickly, Jarod got to the truck. He opened the door to the back seat with one hand, and gently laid Shelly down, placing the pillow that was lying there under her head, and tucking a blanket around her. He glanced at Miss Parker. “You drive,” he commanded gently. “I can’t right now.”
“No problem, get in.” She watched as he shut the door and moved around the truck, getting in the front. As soon as the door was shut, she took off, heading back the way they came, towards the freeway.
~~~~~
I was away at school
The night I heard the news
That I was all alone
From a stranger’s voice
On the hallway phone
She had to call collect
And mispronounced my name
And said that I should be there
On the morning train
There was no one to meet me
And no one to take me home
~~~~~
Two hours later, having driven in silence the entire way, Miss Parker pulled the truck over at a small all-night diner in Missouri. She looked at Jarod, who was staring blankly out the window. “Jarod?” she asked softly. “I need a break, do you want to come in and get something to eat?”
Jarod shook his head. “No. And we shouldn’t leave her alone in the truck. Go get yourself something and I’ll drive. We’re not far enough away yet, just over the state line.”
Nodding slowly, Miss Parker got out of the truck and went inside. Jarod slid over to the drivers side, and leaned his arms on the steeringwheel, resting his forehead against them. He banged his head silently against his arms, his eyes shut tightly. Once she had her food, Miss Parker came back out and climbed into the passenger seat. She offered him a cup. “I got you some coffee, I know you didn’t want anything, but . . .”
“Thanks.” Jarod lifted his head and took the cup. “Let’s get out of here.” Taking a drink, he set the cup down and looked at her a moment before turning the truck on and pulling out of the parking lot. He headed back to the freeway, and east, not having a set destination in mind, just driving. Miss Parker offered him a french fry, which he took, chewing it slowly. “I got both of you some food, in case you get hungry, or she wakes up and wants something to eat.” She took a sip of her coke and sighed, looking at him carefully. “I know we did the right thing for her, and eventually she’ll even agree with us, but Jarod, this feels so wrong, having to keep such close an eye on her at all times, worrying if she’s going to try and run.”
“What’s going on?” a small, scared voice asked from the back seat of the truck. “Who are you?”
Not looking back at her, Jarod sighed a little. “It’s okay Shelly. I’m Jarod, and we’ve taken you away from where you were.” He glanced at Miss Parker, shrugging an eyebrow.
“But why?” Shelly struggled to sit up, still feeling the effects of the sedative, not coherent enough to put up any resistance.
Miss Parker turned to look at her daughter. “Because, sweetie, where you were wasn’t good for you. We’re trying to help you.”
Shelly’s eyes narrowed. “Who are you?”
“I’m . . .” Miss Parker looked at Jarod, almost desperately. He took her hand and squeezed tightly for a moment, still staring at the road. “Shelly, sweetie, I’m your . . . I’m Cassandra,” she decided, chickening out at the last second, not at all sure why, or how to deal with the feeling.
Shelly reached for the door handle, not caring that they were going down a freeway at sixty five. Jarod noticed and transferred the lock control to only the driver before she could open the door. “Shelly, settle down. We’re not going to hurt you, but if you try, and succeed, to get out of this car right now, while we’re going so fast, you’re likely to get very hurt.”
“What the . . . you kidnapped me, didn’t you? I want to go back! Mr. Raines needs me!” The young woman’s voice raised to a shrill level, and she pounded her fists on the back of Jarod’s seat hard. “TAKE ME BACK!” she screamed.
Miss Parker’s jaw set. “Jarod, pull over somewhere.” She reached back and took hold of Shelly’s wrists forcefully, not letting go. “Shelly, listen to me. No one is going to hurt you now. Where you were however, Raines and Carlyle, were bad people. They were the ones who were hurting you. However, I won’t put up with this attitude young lady. No screaming, no hitting the seats, no trying to climb out of moving vehicles. When you’ve calmed down, we will talk, and explain everything to you. I understand that you’re upset.” She paused a moment when Jarod pulled the car over at a rest stop. “Now, you have two choices, you can settle down, and maybe we can talk a little, try to explain a few things to you, or else we can give you another sedative, and you can sleep until we get where we’re going. The choice is yours.” Jarod stared at her, blinking a few times. “What?” she asked in a slightly exasperated tone.
“Nothing. Nothing at all.” Jarod smiled a little at her, and turned his head to look at Shelly.
“You’re . . .” Shelly’s lower lip trembled, even as her eyes blazed anger. “Giving me a choice. Be awake and talked to, but *have* to abide by your rules, or I can be given a drug to make me sleep *more,* and still have to abide by your rules. Those are the choices, right? I’m not missing anything?”
Nodding, Miss Parker let go of the girl’s wrists. “Yes. Our rules aren’t that bad Shelly, just . . . necessary, and for your safety. You just need to calm down, stop yelling and screaming, stop trying to get away from us. That’s all. And we will do whatever we can to make things easier on you.”
“Will you tell me whatever I want to know?” she asked, her voice wavering a little.
Jarod nodded. “Yes, we will. At the least, you’ll get the short version. We’ll tell you everything, in detail, at some point, which may or may not be now.” He raised an eyebrow. “Is that your choice?”
Shelly nodded. “Yes. I don’t really like being sedated.”
Starting the truck again, Jarod nodded knowingly. “Me either. Neither of us do, and I’m sorry I had to in order to get you out.” He turned the car back onto the freeway, and cast Miss Parker a sidelong glance, smiling the slightest bit at her.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” Shelly bit out, causing Jarod to chuckle. “What’s so funny?” she demanded.
Jarod laughed again, further angering Shelly. “Nothing, you just sound exactly like someone else,” he got out, still laughing at the look on her face. It matched the one Miss Parker got when she was fed up with him.
“Who?” Shelly demanded, getting irate again quickly.
Turning, Miss Parker folded her arms across her chest and stared at the younger woman, a hard look on her face. “Me. So I know how to put up with, and deal with this crap. And I don’t want to have to.”
“Sorry,” Shelly mumbled, not sounding sorry at all. “You said you took me from Mr. Raines and Dr. Carlyle for my own good. Why?” Jarod sighed, knowing he had to field that question. “You’ve done . . . SIMs for them, right?” he asked cautiously.
“SIMs?”
Jarod’s eye’s narrowed a little. “One of them gives you a scenario and you become . . . almost like someone else? You run a simulation of whatever in your head, or sometimes in reality, and come up with an answer or something along those lines?” he explained in the simplest terms he could, knowing she knew what he was talking about.
“Why?” she asked, suspicious.
Jarod chuckled humorlessly, having expected this. “Because I did them for years for Raines myself. Not much fun.”
“Anything Mr. Raines asked me to do was for a good reason. He was helping people with what I was doing, and you took me away from him.” Shelly growled at him quietly. “You don’t understand, you wouldn’t understand, unless you heard it from him.”
“And you’ve got that defending him thing down perfectly. Shelly, trust me, I grew up with that man, and he told me that everything I was doing was for the good of someone. And things that I told them ended up being used to hurt people.” Jarod shrugged. “I know you don’t believe me, I don’t expect you to right now. But I’m not lying to you.”
Shelly leaned forward, her head coming in between the people in the front of the truck, and got in Jarod’s face. “Why the hell do you think I’ll ever believe you? And why do you care what happens to me, if you do happen to be right?”
Miss Parker pushed her back into the back of the truck. “I don’t know if you’ve ever been conscious of being in a car before, but you don’t get in the face of someone who’s driving. Just sit back there and stay until the truck stops.”
“Yes mother,” Shelly spat sarcastically, folding her arms and glaring at the back of Miss Parker’s head.
Jarod glanced quickly at Miss Parker, who was sucking in a sharp breath, her eyes tightly shut. He took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, looking at her again as she opened her eyes, before returning his attention to the road. He ignored Shelly’s
last couple of questions, and kept driving, all of them having fallen into a tense silence.
~~~~~
Stopping the truck at a roadside motel at two am, Jarod turned the ignition off. He waited with Shelly while Miss Parker went in to get them a room for the night. She came out of the office after a few minutes and held up a room key. She unlocked the door to the room directly in front of where he had parked, and walked in, leaving the door open. Jarod turned and looked at Shelly. “So, are we going to do this easily, or am I going to have to carry you in so you don’t run?” he asked simply.
Shelly glared at him. “I don’t have any idea where I am, and I’m in sleeping attire. Somehow I doubt I’d get very far.”
Chuckling, Jarod opened the door and get out. He unlocked Shelly’s door and took hold of her arm, leading her into the room. “You seem to have this wonderful mix of teen-speak and an adult vocabulary, for someone who’s been so isolated.”
“Yeah, well, I talked to Eric a bit too much, I guess.” Shelly wrenched her arm free of his grasp once they were in the room. “Two beds . . . you two sharing, or were you planning on one of you sleeping with me, to make sure I don’t run back to where I belong?”
Jarod looked at Miss Parker and shook his head. “Actually, you’re sleeping in that bed,” he pointed to the one further from the door. “And we’re sleeping in shifts, just for tonight, the awake one sitting in the chair keeping an eye on things.”
“Babysitting, you mean.” Shelly grimaced, and sat on the bed, staring at the wall.
“No, I mean keeping an eye on things.” Jarod pulled the chair over to in front of the door, and sat down. “Babysitting would imply that both people being watched would be children in need of constant attention and care. I don’t honestly think either of
you fit that bill.”
Miss Parker sat perched on the edge of the other bed. “Shelly, this is hard on you, I know. Try and get some sleep, and maybe things will be better in the morning.”
Shelly glared at her and turned onto her side. She stared at the wall, not seeing anything. “I want to go home,” she murmured, queezing her eyes shut.
Jarod and Miss Parker looked at each other, and shrugged, both equally helpless. Getting up, Miss Parker sat on the edge of Shelly’s bed, laying a hand on the girl’s back. Shelly flinched slightly at the touch. “I know Shelly. But you can’t. And eventually, you won’t want to go back there, you’ll want what life can be outside of those places they’ve kept you.”
“I. Want. To. Go. Back.” Shelly said in a slow, angry, measured tone. “I don’t want to ‘eventually want’ something else.” Tears filled her eyes, and she scrunched her face, trying to stopthem from seeping past her closed eyelids.
Patting her back once more, Miss Parker stood up and walked over to Jarod, who was still in the chair by the door. She kneeled down on the floor next to him and glanced at him with hurt eyes. He brought a hand down and touched her cheek lightly, then dropped it to his lap. “What’s wrong Jarod?” she asked softly.
“She was terrified of me,” he whispered, swallowing. “The one reaction I knew to expect, yet knew would drag up every little insecurity in my head, and it’s what she had.”
“Jarod . . .” Laying a hand on his leg, Miss Parker tried to smile at him. “It’s okay. I know her reaction hurt you, it hurt me. It’s still hurting me.” She glanced over at Shelly, who was curled into a tight ball, and dropped her voice to an almost inaudible whisper. “Do you think that having my daughter reject me like that, and not being able to *tell* her are things that are easy for me? She’s never seen people outside of a couple of men who have kept her and brainwashed her from infancy. She didn’t have any other reaction to us, because she didn’t know if we were going to hurt her, and our form of helping her isn’t hers.”
Jarod’s eyes shut and he set his jaw. “This . . . damn it Cassie, this shouldn’t be allowed to bother me, I don’t have a right to be hurt by her.”
Sitting back, Miss Parker took his hand. “Stop. She is your daughter, and if something is bothering you about her, it’s your right, your responsibility, and all that other paternal-type stuff, as her father to feel it.”
“No.” Forcefully, he pulled his hand from hers. “No it’s not. Why don’t you see this?”
Leaning up, Miss Parker took his face in her hands, holding his head firmly. “Because I see what I know in my heart to be true,” she said intensely, but very quietly. She leaned a little further and kissed his forehead. “I know this is all so incredibly painful and confusing for you, but I *know* there’s a voice inside you somewhere that’s telling you not to listen to the loud one that’s being so negative.” She looked him in the eye, hers beseeching. “You told me that my mother’s voice is inside me. It was only recently that I was truly able to hear it. But it’s how I know that voice is telling you the same things I am.”
Jarod pulled his head free of her hands, and brought his feet up onto the chair, putting distance between them. “Get some sleep Cassandra,” he said softly, putting his walls up in his voice.
Knowing she should back down, Miss Parker shook her head. “No.” She stood up and walked around the back of the chair, placing her hands on his shoulders. “Jarod, listen to me. You are reacting in every way I would expect from you, only you’re not working through it. That worries me so much. I had a bad reaction to the memories. But Jarod, I’m getting things straight in my head, and you’re not. I would do anything to fix that, I really would. I . . . shit Jarod, I can’t even figure out why myself, completely. But I want us to be okay. Both of us. Alone, with ourselves, and together. I don’t think I’ve ever been completely okay before, and I want it so badly. But I can’t be, unless you are as well. And if that sounds selfish, it is. I need to just for a little while, god, for five minutes, to be fine. To be okay.”
Turning his head, Jarod looked up at her. “Why do you think I left Cassie? I know, whether you see it or not, that you’re best off without me around. If I’m not with you, you’re less likely to be reminded constantly of that day. You’ll have less stress from dealing with me like this. Maybe you and Shelly can be peaceful, co-exist as mother and daughter easily after a while. But I do *not* see how you can do that with me.”
“And I don’t see how I can without you. Damn it, I hate admitting things like this, you know that.” Sighing, she squeezed his shoulders. “I need you Jarod,” she said in a slightly scared voice. “I don’t need people, I’ve never needed people, but god *damn* it,” she said a little too loudly, causing Shelly to stir a little, but not wake from the sleep she had finally fallen into.
“I need you.”
“Yeah,” Jarod breathed shakily. “I can relate.” He took her hands and tugged her around to in front of him. “I’m sorry. I know this should be worse on you than it is on me. I’m making things worse for you, on you, aren’t I?”
Miss Parker sat back down on the floor. “No. Not the way you think you are. I’ve been working through all these things in my head, actually trying to make the pain stop. It just doesn’t really work when I see how much you’re in.” She studied his face carefully. “You’re exhausted. Lay down, get some sleep. Please. I’ll stay up and keep an eye on Shelly.” She stood, and pulled him to his feet, pushing him towards the bed. He went willingly, too tired all of a sudden to argue. Helping him onto the bed, she laid a hand on his forehead. “Sleep,” she told him gently. He nodded, his eyes shutting. She watched him a moment, making sure he fell asleep, and leaned over, kissing his temple gently. She sat back down in the chair, curled her legs under her body, and watched her daughter and her best friend sleep.
~~~~~
Silent night, holy night
I left a light on in the hallway
All is warm, all is bright
I keep my vision in my hand
Silent night, holy night
Life goes on beyond my eyelids
All is safe, out of sight
~~~~~
As dawn broke, Miss Parker sat outside the hotel room, staring at the phone in her hand. She glanced back into the room, the door ajar. Jarod stirred a little, and she wiped her eyes, not wanting to have to be crying while talking to him. He got out of bed and walked outside to her. “Cassie?” he asked softly, his voice heavy from sleep.
“He knew Jarod,” she said simply, handing him the phone. “Daddy knew everything.”
Cringing a little, Jarod sat down next to her. “I’m so sor . . .”
“Don’t” Miss Parker’s voice was hard. “Do not apologize for him.”
Sitting down, he sighed. “Okay, I won’t. How did you find out? Who’d you talk to?”
“Sydney. He called, and you were so deeply asleep I couldn’t wake you. The phone woke Shelly, I don’t know if she’d ever heard one ring before.” She bit her lower lip. “He . . . I filled in most of the blanks you’d left, not what actually happened, but . . .and he told me he’d heard Daddy and Raines talking once, before you escaped, about her. Some of the things that he remembered them saying stuck with him, and he . . . Daddy knew.”
Jarod’s eyes shut, and he laid a hand on her arm. “What did Syd say?” he asked softly, not sure he wanted to know.
“Just repeated what he’d overheard, that he didn’t understand at the time. Things like ‘it’s good she doesn’t remember, we all know she’d try and do something about it,’ and ‘the only reason Jarod isn’t having to pay for this is the perfect addition to the project.’” Miss Parker shuddered. “He knew, and he didn’t care, because they finally did get their ‘perfect pretender.’ And that’s all that’s important to him.” She let out a small sob, swallowing back another.
“Is there anything I can do?” Jarod asked quietly, concern on his face. She shook her head, leaning it against her arms. He reached out and ran his hand over her back once. “If you think of anything . . .”
“You’ll be the first to know.” She glanced up and saw Shelly standing behind them, watching them. “Good morning.”
Shelly nodded at her. “Yeah, whatever. So what’s the plan for today? Take me further away from everything I know, make sure I still don’t know a damned thing that’s going on?”
Standing up, Jarod shook his head. “We were thinking about getting some breakfast. Maybe even talking a little more, if you can cool the hostility.” He offered Miss Parker a hand, and helped her stand up.
“Oh goody. Do you think I can maybe get something else to wear, or do I have to stay in this forever?” Shelly’s tone was angry, but her eyes flashed sadness and fear, which Jarod caught.
“I have something you can wear,” Miss Parker said gently, taking Shelly’s arm and leading her into the room, taking out a soft leather skirt and a silk blouse. She handed them to the younger woman, as Jarod went into the bathroom to shower. She got dressed herself, into an almost identical outfit, and sat on the edge of the bed, watching Shelly.
Shelly put the blouse on, and eyed the skirt, a little warily. She’d never worn things like these, and they felt so nice against her skin. She scrutinized the zipper, and fumbled over it a couple of times before getting it completely unzipped. Slipping the skirt on, she glanced at Miss Parker, and turned the material around, so the zipper was in back, and got it zipped about halfway when it got stuck. She tried to fix it, and couldn’t, getting frustrated. Another look at the woman on the bed, and she broke down, a tear running down her cheek. “Can you . . .?” she asked softly, not meeting her eyes.
“Of course.” Standing up, Miss Parker walked over, and gently tugged the zipper down and back up. “There,” she said softly, smiling. Shelly brought a hand up and gently touched Miss Parker’s hair, her eyebrows furled. “Do you want me to do your hair?”
Shelly’s eyes widened. She nodded slowly, looking warily at her. “Okay,” she murmured in a small voice. She sat down, and watched, almost fearfully, but with a hint of curiosity, as Miss Parker picked up the brush and began brushing out her long, tangled hair. She cringed a few times as the tangles were worked out, even though Miss Parker tried to be gentle. It got
easier, and after a couple minutes, she sat back and smiled.
“All done. You look beautiful.” Miss Parker nodded at the mirror, and Shelly turned her head a little, looking at her reflection. She touched the end of her hair, never having seen it like that. Granted, she’d never seen it at all before yesterday. “Do you like
it?”
Shelly nodded slowly. “Yeah. I . . . I look like you,” she murmured, looking between her reflection and the woman’s next to her.
Miss Parker sucked in a sharp breath, and tears stung the back of her eyes. She glanced up, in the mirror, and met Jarod’s eyes from where he was standing in the bathroom doorway. He nodded at her. “Yes you do Shelly. You look very much like her,” he said quietly, walking over to his small bag and pulling out a shirt. He put it on over his jeans, and shrugged a little. “You’re both beautiful.”
Sighing, Miss Parker placed a hand on Shelly’s shoulder. “I don’t know if you’ll ever trust us, I hope so, but we do care about you sweetie, and want you happy.”
“Happy.” Shelly looked a little bewildered. “I don’t know if I’ve ever been ‘happy.’” She fell into a moment of thoughtfulness. “I can remember being upset, being sad, but never happy.”
“Then why, may I ask,” Jarod began tenderly. “Do you want to go back there? If you’re not happy, you’ve never been happy, why do you want to continue living like that?”
Tears filled Shelly’s eyes as she looked at Jarod. “Because it’s the only place I’ve ever known. It’s safe there, compared to being out here. Haven’t you ever wanted to just be where you knew you everything, and everyone? Where it was . . . familiar?”
“Yes, I have. But I want to be happy occasionally, to have the choice to have emotional responses, more.” Jarod quirked his lips a little. “Don’t you? Sometimes?”
Shelly shook her head. “No. Emotions hinder the work Dr. Raines does, he needs me to be able to react only how he specifies.”
“Raines hasn’t been a doctor in a long time Shelly,” Miss Parker said carefully.
“And what he’s been doing to you is wrong.” Jarod shut his eyes. “I know, he did the same kind of things to me.” He took a breath, and looked around. “Hey, I’m going to go check out, and ask about a good place to have breakfast. I’ll be back in a few.” He headed out of the room, pausing to touch Miss Parker’s cheek lightly.
Shelly watched the gesture carefully. “What’s with you two?” she asked pointedly. Miss Parker raised a silent eyebrow. “Half the time,” she began to clarify. “You’re practically in different rooms, even sitting next to each other, and the rest of the time, it’s like you can’t get close enough.”
“Jarod and I have . . .” Miss Parker twisted her lips into a half-smile/half-grimace. “An interesting relationship. I’m not sure how to explain it. We were best friends, some things went wrong, we spent a lot of time not getting along at all, and now here we
are.”
“And where’s that?”
A sad laugh left Miss Parker’s lips. “I don’t really know. We’re friends, sometimes. We don’t have the anger problem we did, but we’re not exactly happy with each other either.”
Shelly nodded slowly. “You’re not happy with that.” The woman on the bed shook her head. “Why did you and Jarod take me out of there? Why do you care so much about someone you’ve never met? There has to be a reason other than what you’ve told me. I may not understand life out here very well, but I get that.”
“Things are complex, Shelly.” Miss Parker looked at her for a moment, and shook her head. “Damn it, you’re too much like me. You like things straight forward and blunt, don’t you?” Shelly nodded. “This is hard for me . . . we’re . . .” She took a shaky breath. “Jarod and I are your parents,” she blurted out, her eyes shut.
“What?” Shelly’s eyes went wide, her hands clenching into fists.
“I’m your mother. I know this is a shock. I just found out myself, not too long ago.” Tears threatened behind Miss Parker’s closed eyes. “As did Jarod. If we had known, we wouldn’t have let you stay where you were.”
“You didn’t know?” Shelly sat heavily onto the other bed. “How could *you* not know? You were pregnant for nine months!”
“Shelly, listen to me. Raines initiated everything, my getting pregnant by Jarod, both of us being made to forget, your being taken from me. I was your age when it happened, and he made sure that I was given drugs that erased my memory.” Shaking her head, Miss Parker finally opened her eyes. “And I know this all sounds insane, but I’m not lying to you.”
“And you . . . what? Just decided that it was time to play mommy? Is that it? You’re my mother, so you get to decide what’s best for me, no matter what I want?” Shelly gripped the quilt tightly in her fists. “Better late than never to be my mother? Something like that?”
“Yeah, something like that,” Miss Parker’s voice became hard as she forced the tears back, and let her defensive anger come forward. “I just thought that maybe you might want to know who we were, that maybe you deserved a better life than you were living, than your father had. Shit, than I had. And you know, if I’m so wrong, I’m sorry, but, god damn it, I’m not
taking you back there, and letting Raines have you again.”
Jaw set, Shelly’s eyes blazed. “It’s so wonderful of you to let me decide. I understand you think you know what’s *best,* seeing as you’re mom,” she spat the word. “and all. However, I would have to disagree with you.”
“Fine, disagree with me. It’s not really going to change the present situation at the moment.” Miss Parker shook her head, standing up and packing the last of her things into the bag on top of the dresser. “I guess I probably should have waited to tell you everything, hoped to gain some trust first, but . . . I know how much I hate not knowing things, and I guess I saw that you
were feeling the same way.”
Shelly glared at Miss Parker’s back for a moment, then walked to the door. “I’m going outside. I’ll be back.” she walked out, slamming the door behind her, before Miss Parker could react.
Jarod walked in a minute later, and looked around. “Where’s Shelly?” he asked, eyeing her face.
“She knows, and she stormed out of here. God she’s just like me, isn’t she?”
Nodding, Jarod sat on the bed, patting the space next to him. She sat, and looked at him rather expectantly. “So, you told her. And she didn’t take it well. Understandable.”
Anger and tears mixed on Miss Parker’s face. “I know I should have thought it over first, waited to tell her,” she said in a self-berating voice. “But a little voice in my head just said ‘hey, go for it. maybe she’ll listen. Maybe it won’t be so bad.” She took a shaky breath, meeting his eyes. “Remind me not to listen to those damned voices anymore.”
“Those voices can be good Cassie. They can be healing, and they can be helpful.” He smiled tightly. “And they can be torments, and completely wrong. You have to always listen to them, but not always hear what they say.” He looked at the door. “She’ll
be back, right? I don’t have to go find her?”
Miss Parker shook her head. “No, she’ll be back. Jarod,” she looked at him, her eyes scared, her face hard. “How the hell do I stop this cycle? It’s like abuse, unless you stop it, you perpetrate it. Fuck, it *is* an abuse cycle. Daddy to me, and now me to
Shelly, emotional abuse. Good, I love being able to think like that.”
“At least you are.” Jarod sighed, laying back on the bed. “You could be thinking that nothing was wrong, or ever would be. And as for stopping it, you just took the big step. You *want* to stop. Making a conscious choice to stop the cycle, you bring up inside yourself the ability to change things.”
A quiet snicker left Miss Parker’s throat. “Did I miss the pretend where you were playing shrink to some abused wife or something?” she asked gently. “Never mind. You’re right.” She laid back next to him, her eyes shut. “I never wanted to do to someone else what Daddy did to me as a child, but over the years, I just . . . stopped remembering it as bad. And now I’m
doing it. And I’m fucking tired of it.”
Jarod nodded, shutting his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose lightly. “Yeah, I know you are. Look, she can’t have gotten too far, go find her. Talk to her. Maybe you can work some things out. I doubt everything, but . . . you’re both strong, and opinionated, but you’ve got experience behind you that she doesn’t. If you just use that correctly, maybe you can show her what life’s like out here, what’s important *to* our lives. And how much you love her.” Turning a little, Miss Parker wrapped her arms around his torso, hugging him to her. “I’ll go try,” she murmured, smiling a little when she felt him hug her back. “Thank you, for understanding me like this Jarod. No one else does.”
“I’ve known you so long, it’s hard not to. Go on, go talk to Shelly. I’ll hang out in the truck or something.”
Miss Parker quirked her lips. “Promise you’re not going to take off on us?” she questioned, half-joking.
Jarod nodded. “Promise. Get out of here,” he murmured, giving her a gentle push off the bed.
Getting up, she smiled sadly down at him. “We’ll be back,” she murmured, heading outside.
~~~~~
My father’s house
Is still at night
I hear the silence in the walls
I hear the footsteps in the halls
Just like the child inside me used to do
When she was scared and wide awake
She had her room to keep her warm
Safe from fears, safe from harm
~~~~~
Shelly sat on a rock by the edge of a small creek behind the motel. She had a handful of rocks, and was tossing them into the rushing water, one at a time, watching them just sink, instead of catch on the current. ~My life,~ she thought, picking up a leaf and tossing it, watching it drift. ~Nothing makes sense anymore.~ “Did it ever?” she asked herself out loud. “You were in
that little room or the lab your entire life, does that make sense, when there’s so much out here?”
“No, it doesn’t,” Miss Parker’s voice came floating over her shoulder softly. “And you weren’t in *that* little room your entire life Shelly. You were in Europe most of your life.” She sat down on another rock a couple feet away. “You don’t remember the move, do you?”
Shelly’s eyes narrowed. “Where’s Europe?” she asked quietly, still tossing pebbles into the water.
Taking a breath, Miss Parker picked up her own handful of rocks. “Far away. It’s on the other side of the Atlantic ocean.” She tossed a rock, causing it to skip over the water once. “I’m sorry. And I don’t say that much, because I usually don’t feel it. But I am.”
Nodding, Shelly tried to skip her rocks, watching Miss Parker’s wrist when she did, but trying not to be obvious. “Sounds familiar. Dr. Raines was like that. Only I don’t think I ever actually heard him apologize.” The rock she tossed skipped once, and her face lit up for a moment, before becoming sullen again. “You related to him too, or am I the only lucky one?”
Eyes shut, Miss Parker sighed. “No, just you kiddo.”
Shelly glanced behind them. “Where’s . . . *dad*?” she asked, only a trace of venom over the word.
“Probably sitting in the truck listening to music, waiting for us.” Eyes opening, Miss Parker stared at her daughter. “”He’s hoping we can work something out, maybe just a little. I’m not holding my breath. But it would be nice if we could get in the truck, and finish this trip, without too much animosity. I’ve spent my life fighting with your grandfather, or Raines, or someone, I don’t want to keep it up with you.”
Biting her lip, Shelly skipped another rock. “My . . . grandfather? Your dad?” Miss Parker nodded, silent. “Do I get to meet him too?”
“No.” Miss Parker shook her head forcefully. “I’m sorry, but you don’t get to meet Daddy. Ever. He’s not a nice person.” She smiled a small, ironic smile. “He’d probably kill me if he ever met you,” she muttered under her breath, mostly to herself.
Shelly’s eyes went wide. “But he’s your father. Why would he do that?”
Miss Parker’s face began to crumble, and she stopped it, hardening her expression. “There’s a lot you don’t understand about life out here. You’ll learn, but the basics . . . some people are just evil. And some have enough of it in them that they can very easily go either way. I fall into that catergory. My father is the evil type. So is Raines. And, from what I’ve heard, so is Dr. Carlyle.”
Eyebrow raised, Shelly nodded once. “What about Jarod? Or me, for that matter?”
A small smile broke on Miss Parker’s face. “Jarod is . . . mostly wonderful, he also has a touch of that dark side, but truly, everyone does. And he doesn’t let it out much, not really. And never in a seriously evil capacity.” She eyed her daughter. “And you, well . . . you’ve got the good and bad parts of both of us. I think you’re still growing into them, and I just hope that you turn out more like your father than me.”
“You don’t seem like you’re that bad of a person to be like,” Shelly said quietly, watching the rock she tossed skip, once, twice, a third time, onto the bank on the other side of the creek. She dropped the rest of the rocks and stood up, brushing her hands against each other. “Can we go?”
Tossing the entire handful of rocks into the water, Miss Parker watched the ripples get swept by the current before they formed. “Sure,” she said as she stood. She looked at Shelly carefully. “I want you to know, I don’t expect much. I don’t have illusions of you calling me mom under any pretense but to piss me off, I don’t see you joining in on Jarod’s and my conversations, or wanting to spend more time with us than you have to. But I do have a hope that one day you’ll want to. I’m rather anti-social myself, and I know it’s hard to go from what you know to what we’re trying to tell and show you. Just . . . don’t close your mind, okay? I did, and it nearly cost me everything that matters to me.”
“I’ll do my best, but I don’t know how good that’ll be,” Shelly promised, shrugging. “I don’t know, it might be a lot, because I seem to do things really well for other people.” Miss Parker laid a hand on Shelly’s shoulder for a brief moment. “Don’t do it for me. Don’t do it for Jarod. Do it for yourself. And your best, I have a feeling, is pretty damn good.” She tipped her head towards the motel. “Come on, let’s go.” They walked back to the truck, where Jarod was sitting, and climbed in. “Hey handsome, how’s about giving us two ladies a ride?” she asked jokingly, masking her emotional state as best she could.
Jarod smiled gently. “I’d love to,” he murmured, glancing into the back seat at Shelly as he turned the key in the ignition and put the truck into drive. “Onward, to Camelot,” he said in a slightly mysterious voice as he drove onto the highway.
~~~~~
“Jarod, where are we going?” Miss Parker asked as they drove past the city marker for Gatlinberg, in Tennessee.
Chuckling, he shook his head. “I told you when we left. Camelot.”
Biting her lower lip, Shelly raised an eyebrow. “What’s Camelot?” she asked quietly, the first words she’d spoken since getting into the truck.
Turning a little, Miss Parker smiled. “Camelot is the center of King Arthur's realm, Since Camelot is a legendary place, it is rather futile to speak of its location. However, John Leland identified it with Cadbury Castle,” she quoted, as if reading it. “In England,” she said pointedly to Jarod.
“Are you quoting your college text?” Jarod asked teasingly. “And we’re not leaving the country.”
Narrowed eyes met his quick glance. “Paraphrasing. And if we’re not, then were is this mythological Camelot?”
“It’s not mythological at all. It’s a little inn outside of Gatlinberg, cute place. We have adjoining rooms waiting.” He glanced into the mirror, making eye contact with Shelly. “You’ve got your own room, with a door connecting to ours. We’re trusting you, that you won’t run off, or do anything else of equal or greater stupidity.”
Rolling her eyes, Shelly slumped back into the seat, and stared out the window. “Gee, have some faith,” she muttered under her breath. “And thank you *so* much for that wonderful explanation of what Camelot is.”
“Sorry,” Miss Parker said quietly, only soundly slightly sorry. “We’ll get you a book or something, okay?” She looked back and chuckled at Shelly’s glare. “Or not, it’s up to you.”
Sighing slightly, Jarod pulled the car off the road into a driveway. “We’re here. No more snippiness, I don’t really want to hear it right now.”
Shooting daggers at the back of his head with her eyes, Shelly made her voice as condescending as possible. “Yes *daddy.*” She watched him tense and shook her head a little. “Sorry,” she said softly, only partly sounding apologetic. She opened her door and climbed out, leaning on the side of the truck.
“You okay?” Miss Parker asked gently. “That hurts, I know.”
Nodding a little, Jarod took a deep breath, uncurling his hands from their death grip on the steering wheel. He opened the door and looked at her. “Come on, I need to get out of this car a while.”
“Yeah.” Climbing out herself, Miss Parker stretched a little and looked around. “Nice place. Going for that ‘happy, together family’ thing?”
Jarod nodded silently and headed into the room at the front of the inn to check in. Walking over to Shelly, Miss Parker grabbed her by the shoulder. “Hey, I know you’re unhappy, I know you want to go back to Raines, I know you don’t want us as your parents, but honey, get over it. You’re not, we are, and you’re stuck. Give me as much of a hard time as you want, but leave him alone. You can call me mom in condescension, or in anger, but don’t do it to him. He already has enough problems, things you will *never* understand, some of them, with the idea of being your father.”
Shelly’s jaw set. “Oh, so he doesn’t want me? Then why did you drag him along to “rescue me”?”
“That’s not what I said. Jarod wants to be there for you, wants to be your father, but he doesn’t think . . .” Sighing deeply, Miss Parker leaned against the side of the truck. “Look, I’m trusting you can handle being told a lot, I know Jarod, even growing up like you did, was mature enough to deal with a lot at your age. He doesn’t think he deserves to be your father, for reasons I really can’t and won’t get into with you right now. So just don’t test him like that. He’s tough, he can handle so much, but there are a lot of things falling down on top of his head at once right now, and he just needs . . . to be taken care of, almost. But not.”
Shelly tilts her head to the side consideringly. “Are you two in love?” she questioned casually. “I ran a SIM once . . . so I know about it. And Eric talked about his girlfriend once.” Her eyebrow raised a little. “I think I can tell you love him, the way you defend him, and talk to him. And the way he looks at you . . . I’ll be honest, I don’t know much, but there’s something . . .”
Shaking her head in a slightly amused manner, Miss Parker bit the inside of her lips. “I don’t know, honestly. And I don’t think this is a good discussion for us to be having right now, okay?”
“What, it’s not good for me to know whether my parents love each other or not?” Shelly quirked her lips in a questioning gesture.
Miss Parker shook her head. “Shelly, we’ll talk about all of this later, okay. Just . . . be a little nicer to Jarod. He’s a good guy, much better than I am, and I can take the bitchiness right now. He needs a break. It is almost eerie how much you and I can be alike, and I’m enough of a bitch for him to put up with.” She looked up to see Jarod walking towards them with room keys. “At least for a little while?” she asked, almost pleading.
Shelly nodded. “I’ll try. Should I like, apologize or something?” She smiled a little when her mother shook her head. “Okay, I should just not be myself. I’m used to that.” She looked at Jarod who was standing a few feet away, and back at Miss Parker. Shrugging, she walked towards the man standing at the rear bumper of the truck, and took the key he held out to her.
Taking a deep breath, Miss Parker walked to Jarod’s side. “She asked me if we love each other,” she said to him in an almost inaudible voice.
Placing his hand on her lower back, Jarod gently led her towards the room. “What did you tell her?” He asked in the same low tone.
“That we’d talk later.” Glancing at him out of the corner of her eye, Miss Parker grabbed a room key and unlocked the door when they reached it. Stepping inside in front of Jarod, she looked around. “Jarod, this . . . why here?” she asked quietly, running a hand over the quilt on one of the king sized beds. Both quilts were hand made, as were the curtains. The bathroom opened to a large jacuzzi tub. She looked at him carefully. “Nice place for a full-scale seduction, quite honestly,” she murmured.
Chuckling quietly, the sound causing a shiver to run up her spine, Jarod walked behind her, laying a hand on her shoulder. “I didn’t think of that at all,” he said softly in her ear, his voice serious. “I just found a place that was away from everything, that was mellow, run by nice, sweet people, that perhaps had a touch of magic to it. And here we are.” Sighing a little, he
went to the adjoining door of theirs and Shelly’s rooms. “Sorry if I gave you the wrong impression,” he murmured before knocking loudly on the door and swinging it open. He walked in, asking the younger woman how she liked her room.
“No Jarod, you didn’t,” Miss Parker muttered, lying back on her bed, her eyes shut. “I guess I just wish sometimes you would.”
Her mind drifted a moment to the memories that had surfaced so recently, but she forced them back, refusing to allow the pain to control her any longer. It was time to stop the cycle, it was time to move on, and it was long overdue to learn how to love again.
~~~~~
Sitting next to the small creek by the inn, Shelly leaned back on her elbows, her eyes shut, and let the sun beat down on her. It was a new feeling, but one she had grown to love rather quickly. Her mind raced, trying to make everything make sense.
Why would Dr. Raines and Dr. Carlyle take her from Jarod and Cassandra? Why did they keep her in that room, or the labs, her entire life? They had always told her that it was best for her, that she was helping so many people, and that they were protecting her. Now these other people, her parents, were telling her that the only people she’d known, her entire life, were
wrong.
And she was confused. Her entire life, she’d believed Dr. Raines and Dr.Carlyle, trusting that they’d never lie to her. Now she wanted to believe the people who said they were her parents. The internal confliction was really getting to her.
Picking up a full handful of dirt and rocks, she threw it forcefully towards the water. Shutting her eyes again, tears stung them.
“Hey, is this a private creek, or can I sit down?” Jarod asked quietly as he walked up behind her.
Looking up at him, Shelly shrugged. “Sit, if you want. I don’t care.”
Perching on a rock a few feet from her, Jarod looked down at the creek. “You like the water?” he questioned softly.
Shrugging again, not looking at him, Shelly stared at the opposite creek bank. “I don’t know what I like,” she muttered.
“No, I know you don’t. I remember when I first got out into the real world . . . I couldn’t get enough of being outside, being in the sun.” Smiling wistfully, Jarod toys with a blade of grass. “I know you’re confused, there’s a lot of stuff going on that doesn’t make sense. I just want you to know that you can talk to either Cassandra or me, about anything.”
Raising an eyebrow, looking to Jarod incredibly like Miss Parker, Shelly glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. “Are you trying to . . .bond or something?”
Jarod shook his head. “Not at all Shelly, just to let you know, again, that I understand what you’re going through.” He stood up, preparing to leave.
“Wait,” she said softly, looking at the ground. Jarod turned and looked down at her, silent. “I . . . I’m sorry.”
Smiling gently, Jarod placed a hand on the top of her head briefly. “Don’t apologize,” he said softly. “It doesn’t suit you, any more than it does your mother. And sincere or not, neither of you are very good at it.”
“Will you tell me about her?” she whispered, almost afraid to ask.
Sitting back down, Jarod picked a small daisy and twirled it in his fingers. “When we were children, your mom was . . . the only light I had in my life,” he begins, a sad smile on his face. “When she came to see me, it was the only time I was really happy. She liked the bunnies the Centre had, and she was an old soul, even with the innocence that was in her eyes.”
Glancing at her, he offered her the daisy. Shelly took it, a surprised look on her face. “What changed?” she pressed.
“I really can’t pinpoint that,” Jarod murmured. “She went away to school, and when she came back . . . she was different.” He blinked hard against the newly surfaced memories. “She lost her mother young, and tragically, and her father never really was
the best of role models.”
“You love her?” Shelly asked quietly, her mind desperate to know the true meaning of the word she’d only experienced second hand and in artificial capacities.
Shutting his eyes, Jarod swallowed. “Yes,” he whispered. “I love her.” He looked at Shelly, his eyes piercing. “I know you’re still learning about emotions. I am too, to be honest. And Cassie is about the worst person in the world at showing them. But she loves you.”
Shelly’s lower lip trembles. “She does?” she asked in a voice almost afraid.
“Yes.” He stood up again, preparing to leave. “I just thought you might want to know someone does.” He turned, and walked back towards the inn, slowly.
Staring after him, a tear fell down her cheek. She wiped it away furiously. “What about you, dad?” she asked, too quiet for him to hear.
~~~~~
A week passed, and they managed to stay at the inn, everything completely uneventful. With the exception of a few nightmares on Shelly’s part, ones she refused to talk about, or to let them comfort her after.
Jarod flopped onto the bed, having packed the last of their things into the truck. He picked up the room phone, and dialed Sydney’s number.
“Sydney.” the older man’s voice answered, sounding tired, and worried.
“When was the last time you slept Syd?” Jarod asked gently.
A small, quick smile flashed over Sydney’s features, before the worry lines took over again. “It’s been too long Jarod,” he replied. “Things have been getting progressively worse here. Are you both okay?”
“We’re okay,” Jarod confirmed. “All three of us.”
A sharp intake of breath came through the phone line. “You found your child?” Sydney breathed. “That would be why Raines has been running around like a madman.”
Jarod’s eyes shut. “Shelly, yes, we found her, and have her with us. And I’m sure Raines is upset, we did take her from under his nose.” He took a ragged breath. “That bastard had his perfect pretender Sydney.”
“I’m sorry Jarod,” Sydney whispered.
“We’re working on fixing everything, she’s learning to trust us, slowly.” Jarod dropped his head to the pillow. “I have to go, we’ve stayed too long where we are, but I wanted to let you know we’re all right. I’ll call you when I can, when we’re settled where we’re going.”
Sydney leaded back in his chair. “Can I do anything for you?”
Shaking his head, Jarod sat back up. “No, unless you hear or seeing anything that I need to know, then you know the drill. Oh, wait . . . you can thank Broots for me, and give Debbie a hug from her.”
“Consider it done Jarod.”
“Bye Syd,” Jarod whispered, hanging up the phone and walking outside to the truck. He tossed the phone onto the seat next to Miss Parker, and climbed in, glancing into the back at Shelly.
“Where are we going?” Shelly asked quietly.
Turning the key in the ignition, Jarod pulled the truck onto the highway. “A small island off the coast of Florida, for a while.”
Shifting in her seat, Miss Parker looked into the back seat. “I’m going to have to stay on the mainland, for a little while. I have some things to take care of. But you and Jarod will be fine, and I’ll meet you out there.” She looked up as Jarod pulled into the
small local airport that was a five minute drive from the inn.
“We’re flying?” Shelly asked curiously.
Nodding, Jarod opened his door and climbed out, taking his bags, and Shelly’s out of the truck. “Yes, it’s easiest to get there this way.” He walked straight to the small plane a few feet away from the truck and put the bags inside.
Walking around to the drivers side of the truck, Miss Parker opened Shelly’s door, and waited for her to get out. Placing a hand on her daughter’s arm, Miss Parker smiled gently. “I’ll be back soon, I promise. I just have to take care of some things. Take care of Jarod for me?”
Tears filled Shelly’s eyes for a moment, before she blinked them away. “I will,” she promised, staring down. “Don’t be gone too long, Mom,” she said softly, sounding very much like a little girl, afraid of never seeing her mommy again.
“I won’t. Go on, get in the plane.” Refusing to cry, Miss Parker gently pushed Shelly towards the plane. She looked at Jarod, as he made his way to her side. “Take care of her,” she whispered.
Placing a soft kiss on her temple, Jarod nodded. “Always. Don’t do anything too stupid, I want to see your face in a week, walking into the house on the island.” He opened the driver’s side door and waited for her to get in.
“Bye Jarod,” she whispered. “I’ll be there as soon as I can be.” As he shut the door, she turned the ignition, and drove quickly out of the airport, blinking forcefully against the tears that threatened.
Jarod watched her drive away, and walked slowly to the plane, getting in, and preparing to take off.
~~~~~
Silent night, holy night
I left a light on in the hallway
All is warm, all is bright
I keep my vision in my hand
Silent night, holy night
Life goes on beyond my eyelids
All is safe, out of sight
~~~~~
To Be Continued . . .
