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Disclaimer: See chapter 1
( 09/06/03 )
Stumbling Toward Nirvana
By Phenyx
Chapter 4
Parker woke as she realized that the car was no longer in motion. Blinking in the dark, she could see Jarod, still sitting behind the steering wheel. His dark eyes gazed at her solemnly.
“Have I been asleep long?” she asked with a yawn.
Jarod shrugged. “No. A little over an hour.”
The rain had stopped. Looking around Parker could see a small cabin nestled in the woods a few yards away from the car.
“Where are we?” Parker asked curiously.
“Does it matter?” Jarod replied.
Wincing slightly as she stretched her sore muscles Parker groaned. “Not really. It could be the back woods shack from ‘Deliverance’ and I wouldn’t care, as long as there is a shower.”
Parker could see Jarod frown over the unfamiliar reference. Smirking slightly, he shrugged, filing it away for future exploration.
“Sorry, Parker.” Jarod murmured softly. “No shower.” At the withering glare she shot at him, Jarod chuckled in amusement. “A hot bath will have to suffice.”
Parker rolled eyes. “Don’t tease me, Rat. Hot water is no laughing matter when I’ve gone without for- “ she frowned and glanced questioningly at Jarod. “How long was I a prisoner?”
“Roughly twenty-one hours,” Jarod answered simply.
“What took you so long to find me?” Parker asked sarcastically. She had been missing for less than a day. She hated to admit it but Parker was impressed by the speed and efficiency of the pretender’s actions.
Jarod laughed softly. “Well, I was the one who knew you were in danger, remember?” He cocked his head inquisitively at her. “I knew that Sui Ling’s father was in charge of the Tanaka clan now. It was simply a matter of figuring out where he would take you.”
“How did you manage it?” Parker wondered aloud as she ran her fingers through tangled hair.
Jarod looked a little bemused, almost embarrassed. “Let’s just say that I’ve left several known Yakuza associates a little worse for wear.”
“You beat them up until they snitched,” Parker translated.
The pretender shrugged. “I didn’t have time to be subtle.”
“Subtlety has never been your strong suit, Pez-head, “ Parker replied with a smile. After a moment’s pause she added quietly, “Thank you.”
Even in the darkness that surrounded them, Parker could see Jarod’s eyes light up with amusement. “Wow!” he exclaimed. “I’ll need to write this down on the calendar. A ‘thank you’ from Miss Parker is a rare event.”
Scoffing, but only half irritated, Parker grabbed the handle and tossed open the door. “Come on, Genius,” she ordered haughtily. “I want my bath.”
The cabin was a simple abode, one large room with a kitchenette along one wall. Jarod directed Parker to the small bathroom and began running hot water into the old claw foot tub for her. Pulling clean towels from the cabinet beneath the sink, Jarod glanced warily at her.
“Will you be alright?” he asked with a frown. “Do you need me to help you with anything?”
Parker shook her head. “I can manage.”
Moving about the room quickly, Jarod poured some oil into the deepening water and the room was suddenly filled with the scent of lavender. Parker watched as he dug into his pack again and found a warm cotton sweater and a slender pair of denim jeans.
Handing them to Parker, Jarod said, “These should fit fine.”
Somehow Parker didn’t doubt that they would.
A moment later, Jarod left, carefully closing the door behind him with a click. Parker removed her clothes, cringing as she found every aching muscle during the process. Stepping gingerly into the tub, Parker eased herself down, sighing as the very hot water began to work miracles on her bruised body. When the tub was full, Parker turned off the spigot with her toes and allowed herself to enjoy the simple pleasure of a good soak.
The water had cooled to lukewarm when a new aroma made its way into Parker’s senses. The smell of beef stew and warm bread made her stomach growl. Quickly washing her hair and body, Parker finished in the tub. She toweled dry and dressed in record time, dragging a comb across her scalp in a half-hearted attempt to do something with the tangled tresses.
When Parker entered the main room of the cabin, Jarod was just spooning stew into bowls. He gestured her toward a small table set for two.
“You’re looking better,” Jarod smiled at her.
“I feel almost human again,” Parker agreed.
“Hungry?” he asked, placing a steaming bowl in front of her.
“Starved,” Parker growled. For several minutes, there was silence between them as Parker attacked the food with gusto. She was stuffing a second roll, smothered with butter, into her mouth when she caught the amused gleam in Jarod’s eyes. “What?” she snapped.
“Your ordeal seems to have improved your appetite,” he observed.
“I can’t remember the last time I had anything to eat,” Parker snapped viciously. “I guess a little dance with the ole jumper cables serves to improve the metabolism.”
Jarod flinched as though she had struck him. His eyes turned into smooth pools of remorse. “I’m sorry, Miss Parker. I didn’t realize.”
Parker sighed. “I’m the one who’s sorry, Jarod. I should be grateful, not snarling at you like this.”
A sad smile graced the pretender’s face. “Old habits die hard,” he said.
“Don’t they though?” Parker murmured sorrowfully.
Cleaning the sides of her bowl with the last bite of bread, Parker sat back and sighed with contentment.
“Did you get enough to eat?” Jarod asked. “I could open another can of stew.”
Parker shook her head and belched in a decidedly unladylike manner that made Jarod snicker.
“You must be tired,” he said kindly.
Again Parker shook her head, “Actually, I’ve spent most of the last twelve hours unconscious. The last thing I want to do is sleep. I feel worlds better now that I’m clean and well-fed.” She looked up at Jarod with a hopeful expression on her face. “A couple aspirin would be nice though.”
Jarod smirked with understanding. Crossing the room he rummaged in the ever-present knapsack and found a couple of tablets for her. After she had taken them, Jarod said, “Well, if you aren’t going to use the bed right now, do you mind if I catch an hour or so? I haven’t slept in a couple of days.”
Parker shrugged noncommittally.
Peeling off his sweater, Jarod crossed the room to the double bed along the opposite wall. He kicked off his shoes and flopped down on the mattress with a sigh. Parker tracked him with her eyes, marveling at the sharp angles of his frame.
They remained that way for several long minutes. Jarod was lying on his back with his eyes closed while Parker stared at the easy rise and fall of his chest. Parker was sure that the pretender had fallen asleep. So sure in fact, that when he spoke, his voice startled her and Parker flinched in her chair.
“Are you angry with me?” he asked softly.
Overcoming her small shock, Parker whispered, “Why would I be angry at you, Jarod?”
There was another long silence that stretched between them. Finally Jarod said in a low voice, “I’m sorry about Tanaka, Miss Parker. I know that he meant something to you.”
Parker shrugged, though she doubted that Jarod had opened his eyes to see her do so, “He didn’t give you much choice. “
Jarod nodded. “He would have let them kill you. You know that don’t you?”
“Yes,” Parker answered. “He was only doing his job. It wasn’t personal.”
Jarod propped himself up on one elbow and frowned at her from across the room. “How can you say that, Parker? You loved him. It HAD to have been personal.”
Parker smiled sadly. Jarod just didn’t get it. He couldn’t understand the separation of personal feelings and familial responsibility that had been such a large part of her relationship with Tommy. If wonder-boy was lucky, he would never learn to split himself in two that way. “What Tommy and I had was a long time ago,” she said gently. “We were two affluent young people, offspring of similarly powerful fathers. We traveled in the same circles while I was in Tokyo. We went to the same parties.” She shrugged. “We enjoyed each other.”
Jarod lay back down and stared up at the ceiling, pondering her words in silence for a time.
“I wonder how Lyle is faring,” Parker wondered aloud, if only to change the subject.
“Honestly,” Jarod said bluntly. “I could not possibly care less.”
“I guess he has it coming,” Parker sighed with a shrug.
Jarod snorted with derision.
“Do you think he’s dead?” she asked.
“I doubt it,” the pretender replied coldly. “Lyle is a monster, a hard creature to kill.”
Parker glanced up in irritation. “He is my brother, you know. My twin.”
“Are you going to sit there and defend him?” Jarod sat up and asked with a snarl.
“No,” she admitted. “I just- oh – never mind.”
“Go on,” Jarod urged. “I want to know what you were going to say.“
“It doesn’t matter,” Parker growled. “Go to sleep, Rat-boy.” She crossed her arms over her chest defensively.
There was another long silence.
“You aren’t like him, Parker,” Jarod purred in a warm, sensuous voice. “You have a conscience.”
Tilting her head inquisitively Parker asked, “Why do you always do that?” Standing abruptly, Parker began to pace, anger rising in her voice. Her sense of emotional self-preservation kicked in and she reacted in the only way she knew. “I’m no martyr Jarod,” she yelled. “I’m not the compassionate yet tragic heroine in this story you’ve concocted in that strange little head of yours. I work for The Centre. It is who I am, what I am.”
Jarod rose from the bed and walked across the room until only a few feet separated them. “Are you going to continue to deny the bond that we share?”
“Our only connection is that you run and I chase. Nothing more,” Parker said in voice sounding tired of the repetition.
Jarod shook his head and laughed sadly. “Perhaps you are right,” he whispered. “Maybe I only see what I want to see, not what really exists.”
They stared at each other, saying nothing for a long time.
“I suppose I should congratulate you, Miss Parker,” Jarod said in a smooth, hard tone that made Parker wary. “You’ve succeeded in doing something Raines and Sydney have never been able to manage.”
Parker was afraid to ask. Jarod’s face had that hard, hidden look that meant he was about to be cruel. But curiosity killed the cat, and she asked anyway, “What is that?”
“I have killed for you.” The pretender said in a tight voice. “Six men are dead because I chose your life over theirs.”
Parker looked up into Jarod’s eyes and saw hard flints glittering there. She was suddenly very aware of how much the pretender had changed in the past six years. So much of his innocence had gone since he joined the real word. The naiveté had vanished, replaced by the hardness of survival. Parker felt a deep sense of regret that something so precious had been lost.
Parker knew perfectly well that Jarod’s words had been carefully chosen. He was trying to get her to react; to reveal a soft side that only he knew existed.
“What do you want me to say, Jarod?” she asked with a weary sigh. She was so very tired of this game. “What do you want from me?”
Jarod sighed, sounding just as exasperated as she did. He stepped closer. ”Why do you ask questions when you already know the answers?” He whispered so close that his breath tickled Parker’s cheek.
Parker’s eyes fluttered shut as Jarod’s warmth radiated through her. He was so close that his nearness was oppressive. Need wound its way through Parker’s body, a deep desperate need that made her shiver. ‘This is too dangerous,’ her mind screamed at her. ‘You’ll pay for it with your life. Or worse, he will die in your place.’
“Talk to me, Parker,” Jarod murmured in a voice think with desire.
The pretender’s words flickered into Parker’s brain, but it was Thomas’ voice she heard. Flashing across her mind’s eye she saw the carpenter’s crumpled body sprawled on her porch. She flinched, and the image behind her eyelids morphed into Tommy Tanaka, slumping to his knees in a shirt stained with crimson. Parker’s eyes snapped open and she saw Jarod, leaning in close to kiss her.
Panic slammed into her like a freight train. “No,” she whimpered, recoiling as though snakes had just popped from Jarod’s forehead.
“Parker,” Jarod said tenderly, stepping forward to keep the distance between them close. “You know that we both want this. You’ve known since that night in Ocee’s cottage.”
Miss Parker stepped back and she bumped into the kitchen counter. Cornered and afraid, her well-honed survival skills took over and she lashed out at the man in front of her. She needed to hurt him, to make him withdraw and give her room to breath.
“Do you want me, Jarod?” she purred in a suddenly icy voice.
The pretender nodded warily.
“What would you do to gain what I have to offer you?” the chill in her tone doused the desire in Jarod’s eyes to some degree.
Tilting his head with a frown he said cautiously, “I would do anything for you, Miss Parker. Don’t you understand that yet?”
“Prove it,” Parker purred in a hard sexy voice.
“How?”
Stepping close, Parker went on the attack as her only means of defense. She reached out and raked her fingernails down Jarod’s naked chest, making his breath catch. “I’ll give you anything you want, anything you ask for. Tonight I’m yours,” she whispered seductively against his lips. Her eyes glittered and she straightened defiantly away from his embrace. “But tomorrow, you are mine. You come back to The Centre with me like a good little lab-rat should.”
Jarod blinked, stunned at what Parker had proposed. Of course, that had been her intent all along. She knew that the proposition would only anger him, which was exactly why she had made it.
Parker stood back and folded her arms over her chest, waiting for Jarod’s wrath. A minute passed, then two, and still Jarod had not stormed away from her in disgust. He simply stood there, his big brown eyes gazing soulfully at her. He studied her as if he would see into her very soul if only he could look hard enough.
“Okay,” he said finally.
Parker nearly fell on the floor in shock. She had expected anger and petulance, never for a moment believing that Jarod would agree to so outrageous a plan. Parker was still staring at him, her mouth agape in surprise, when the pretender stepped up to her, wrapped her in his arms and kissed her with a drugging intensity.
Parker could do little more than cling helplessly to his shoulders as Jarod drank from her lips like a man dying of thirst. She couldn’t breath, and deep down she realized she didn’t want to. Her mind was assaulted by sensations of him. His scent, the taste of salt and butter on his lips, the soft steel of muscle beneath her clutching fingertips.
When the kiss ended, they were both panting for air. Jarod snuggled into the crook of Parker’s neck, burying his face in her hair. Holding her tightly against him he whispered with a sad laugh, “I always wondered.”
“Wondered what?” Parker’s voice rasped huskily.
“If I could resist you,” Jarod murmured, trailing kisses along her jaw. “I knew it was only a matter of time, before you realized,”
Parker sighed dreamily as Jarod’s tongue flicked around her ear.
“You could have caught me years ago, Parker,” he went on as he nibbled at her flesh. “Little more than a flash of your panties in my direction and I would have followed you back like a puppy.”
Parker stiffed in his arms but Jarod held her firmly.
“Do you have any idea how much that frightened me?” he sighed.
“Jarod,” Parker whimpered as fear clawed its way into her heart.
“It’s okay,” he whispered, switching his attentions to her other ear. “I’m done fighting it. Buy your freedom with your body, Miss Parker. I pay the price willingly.”
Jarod slipped to his knees so that his lips were now at a level with Parker’s stomach. Strong fingers slid beneath her shirt, revealing tender flesh beneath. He suckled and licked at her belly button until she whimpered with need rather than fright. Jarod gazed up at Parker like a man praying at the foot of the Madonna. His eyes were so full of longing that Parker felt herself drowning in them.
“Tonight you are mine,” Jarod whispered in awe.
With Jarod’s arms wrapped possessively around her thighs and his gaze so full of hope, Parker could no more deny him than she could stop the world from turning.
“Yes,” she whispered tearfully as she stroked one hand through his hair.
The pretender put his head against Parker’s abdomen and hugged her close. “Anything I ask for,” he purred.
“Anything,” Parker agreed.
Jarod paid homage to her body, worshiping every inch of her until Parker was lost in him. As they moved to the bed, Parker pushed aside all her fears. Nothing and no one existed beyond the tight circle of paradise they found together. Rest of the word be damned. The dawn would come all too soon and Parker knew that when it did, she and Jarod would be forced to return to the land of the cursed. But for now there was only the two of them, a man and a woman, clinging to each other in passion and desperation.
When Jarod’s body finally joined with hers in the most intimate of ways, Parker could do nothing but cling to him, reveling in the smell of him, the taste of him, the feel of him. Parker wrapped her arms and legs around Jarod pulling him even closer to her as the world spiraled around them. They were invincible in this place, safe where nothing could hurt them.
They shivered and trembled against each other in the aftermath. Never had Parker felt so completely at one with another human being. Never had she felt so desolate at was to become of them.
“Parker,” Jarod whispered reverently against the damp flesh of her breast.
“Hush,” Parker begged, hugging him tight. “Don’t talk. Don’t ruin this moment.”
Jarod nodded and snuggled tenderly against her. Parker felt his breathing deepen as he drifted to sleep in her arms. Only when she was sure he was asleep did she let the tears come. She cried for what could have been between them. She wept for everything that had been stolen from them, for the happiness neither would ever be able to find. She wept silently until exhaustion overwhelmed her and sleep finally won over despair.
The next morning, Parker woke to find Jarod sitting on the edge of the bed. He was fully clothed, his leather jacket creaking slightly as he moved. Keys to the jeep dangled in his hand. Wordlessly, he handed Parker her clothes and turned away discretely while she dressed. When finished with the simple task, Parker followed meekly as Jarod led the way out of the cabin.
They climbed into the car and Jarod drove away. He never looked back. But Parker couldn’t help herself. She craned in her seat and watched out the rear window until long after the tiny house had disappeared from view.
They rode in silence, neither saying a word. Thirty minutes later, Jarod pulled into the parking lot of a small motel. Disappearing in the office for a moment, Jarod returned with a room key in his grasp. When they arrived in the dingy room, Parker sat morosely on the edge of the bed.
Jarod took the old rotary phone from the nightstand and tenderly placed the device in Parker’s lap. At her worried glance, Jarod smiled reassuringly and briefly caressed her cheek with his fingertips. A moment later he sat cross-legged on the floor with his back against the wall. A pair of handcuffs materialized from one pocket and he used them to calmly chain himself to an old, heavy bureau.
Parker’s lower lip trembled. Jarod had brought her here to fulfill his side of the bargain. She stared down at the telephone in her lap and the image blurred through unshed tears. He had been unwilling to let the sweepers come for him back at the cabin. It was too special, too close to his heart. This place was neutral, and had no emotional meaning for him. Parker knew that neither of them would ever tell another soul what had happened in their little hideaway in the woods.
Parker looked up at Jarod. He simply stared at her, expectation written across his face. With a heavy sigh, Parker closed her eyes and picked up the receiver. Her fingers seemed to dial the phone of their own accord.
The other end of the line was picked up before it could ring twice. “This is Sydney,” the familiar voice said.
“Its me,” Parker said. Her voice was strong, and held not a trace of the shattered creature within. “Come get me. And bring a sweeper team with you.” She felt oddly detached, as if her actions were being performed by someone on a stage and she was only watching. “Your lab-rat is coming home.”
The days that followed blurred together for Miss Parker. When Jarod had been escorted back through the doors of The Centre, she had been heralded as a conquering hero. Raines had promised her a hefty reward, which she had promptly declined. Instead, she had submitted her two weeks notice.
It felt so surreal. Parker had cleaned out her desk and shredded tons of files. She couldn’t quite make herself believe that she was actually going. Strangely enough, she owed this easy departure in large part to Lyle’s persuasion.
Lyle had somehow managed to escape from the fish hatchery. How, Parker didn’t know nor did she care to ask. He had been through the wringer, of course, badly beaten and cut in numerous places. He still had his one arm in a sling and he limped when he walked. But it had been Lyle who had talked Raines into letting Parker go.
Parker knew better than to think it was brotherly concern that made Lyle act in her favor. On the contrary, with Parker out of the picture, Lyle had no other obstacle in his path. If Parker left, Lyle would have no more competition in regards to Centre leadership. Parker was more than glad to let him have it.
Now Parker wandered through these dark corridors for the last time. Her office was bare. Her house was full of boxes and sheet-shrouded furniture. Tomorrow she was leaving town for destinations as yet unknown.
Sydney and Broots had given Parker a small farewell this afternoon. They had taken her to lunch and given her a small gift, a silver necklace. She had been touched, had even cried a little. Her fingertips brushed the delicate chain that now hung around her neck.
Parker trailed one hand along the wall as she rounded a corner. She had known so much sadness here, so much grief and hatred. Yet The Centre had been a huge part of her life, a life she was walking away from. As much as she hated this place, she found herself mentally bidding it farewell.
Realizing that she was on SL-23, Parker became aware of her true destination. There was one more goodbye that she needed to get through.
The room was bathed in shadow. A single bare incandescent bulb hanging from a chain was the only light. The bars of his cell cast crisscrosses of shadow on the floor. Stepping forward quietly, Miss Parker clasped the iron rods between her hands and found them to be very cold.
“Jarod?” she whispered, half hoping he wouldn’t be there.
A dark form, little more than a pile of crumpled rags, shifted in the corner. There was a distinct rattle of chains and the shape stood and shuffled toward the light. Parker’s heart clenched hard when she saw him.
Jarod was shackled around his bare ankles. A leather belt was locked around his waist and to this belt his wrists were closely chained. A similar belt cinched around his throat. This was attached to a chain connected to the wall. Raines was obviously taking no risks this time around. Houdini himself couldn’t get out of that get up.
Not that the pretender seemed to be in any shape to perform a disappearing act. He looked tired and sore. Bruises covered every inch of visible flesh. His head hung low and dejected.
“Hello, Miss Parker,” he said carefully, as though speaking caused him pain. “To what do I owe this honor?”
Parker heaved in a deep breath, fighting for the courage to see this through. “I’m leaving in the morning, Jarod. I won’t be back.”
Jarod’s head rose up and Parker could see his dark eyes shining at her through a curtain of long hair. “I’m glad for you, Parker. I really am.”
“Why didn’t you just run?” Parker sighed woefully, leaning her forehead against the cold bars. “You could have gotten away.”
“A deal is a deal. I made a promise,” Jarod said calmly.
Gazing intently at him, Parker had a startling revelation. Anger flashed through her. “You were testing me,” she accused. “You wanted to see if I would go through with it. To find out how much of a Centre whore I had become.”
Jarod shrugged as best he could in his restraints. “I needed to know. I needed to know if there was any remaining trace of the girl I fell in love with so long ago.” He sighed sadly. “But I understand now. The Parker legacy has stolen her from me forever, just like they’ve taken everything else. I haven’t the power to bring her back.”
Her rage flared out as quickly as it had come. “I’m sorry, Jarod,” she whispered tearfully.
“Don’t be,” the pretender replied in a tender voice. “It isn’t your fault. It was your job. You had a duty to perform.” Jarod closed his eyes as if in prayer. “But for one night,” he murmured. “I could pretend that the most incredible woman in the world loved me. For one magical moment in time, I made myself believe it was true.”
Parker choked back the sob that was building in her throat.
Then Jarod grinned at her. His face broke out in one of those dazzling, beautiful smiles of his. “Hell is so much easier to live in when you have memories of paradise to lean on. Even if paradise was only a dream.”
“Jarod, I,” Parker began.
Jarod cut her off with a shake of his head. “Goodbye, Miss Parker,” he said in a kind voice. “I hope you find what you are looking for someday.”
A sweeper stepped into the room then, with a stainless steel tray in his hands. Parker fled. She ran blindly through the corridors and ran from the building as though the devil was after her. It was two days and twelve hundred miles later that Parker began to wonder exactly how long she could keep running.
Only time would tell.
( 09/06/03 )
Stumbling Toward Nirvana
By Phenyx
Chapter 4
Parker woke as she realized that the car was no longer in motion. Blinking in the dark, she could see Jarod, still sitting behind the steering wheel. His dark eyes gazed at her solemnly.
“Have I been asleep long?” she asked with a yawn.
Jarod shrugged. “No. A little over an hour.”
The rain had stopped. Looking around Parker could see a small cabin nestled in the woods a few yards away from the car.
“Where are we?” Parker asked curiously.
“Does it matter?” Jarod replied.
Wincing slightly as she stretched her sore muscles Parker groaned. “Not really. It could be the back woods shack from ‘Deliverance’ and I wouldn’t care, as long as there is a shower.”
Parker could see Jarod frown over the unfamiliar reference. Smirking slightly, he shrugged, filing it away for future exploration.
“Sorry, Parker.” Jarod murmured softly. “No shower.” At the withering glare she shot at him, Jarod chuckled in amusement. “A hot bath will have to suffice.”
Parker rolled eyes. “Don’t tease me, Rat. Hot water is no laughing matter when I’ve gone without for- “ she frowned and glanced questioningly at Jarod. “How long was I a prisoner?”
“Roughly twenty-one hours,” Jarod answered simply.
“What took you so long to find me?” Parker asked sarcastically. She had been missing for less than a day. She hated to admit it but Parker was impressed by the speed and efficiency of the pretender’s actions.
Jarod laughed softly. “Well, I was the one who knew you were in danger, remember?” He cocked his head inquisitively at her. “I knew that Sui Ling’s father was in charge of the Tanaka clan now. It was simply a matter of figuring out where he would take you.”
“How did you manage it?” Parker wondered aloud as she ran her fingers through tangled hair.
Jarod looked a little bemused, almost embarrassed. “Let’s just say that I’ve left several known Yakuza associates a little worse for wear.”
“You beat them up until they snitched,” Parker translated.
The pretender shrugged. “I didn’t have time to be subtle.”
“Subtlety has never been your strong suit, Pez-head, “ Parker replied with a smile. After a moment’s pause she added quietly, “Thank you.”
Even in the darkness that surrounded them, Parker could see Jarod’s eyes light up with amusement. “Wow!” he exclaimed. “I’ll need to write this down on the calendar. A ‘thank you’ from Miss Parker is a rare event.”
Scoffing, but only half irritated, Parker grabbed the handle and tossed open the door. “Come on, Genius,” she ordered haughtily. “I want my bath.”
The cabin was a simple abode, one large room with a kitchenette along one wall. Jarod directed Parker to the small bathroom and began running hot water into the old claw foot tub for her. Pulling clean towels from the cabinet beneath the sink, Jarod glanced warily at her.
“Will you be alright?” he asked with a frown. “Do you need me to help you with anything?”
Parker shook her head. “I can manage.”
Moving about the room quickly, Jarod poured some oil into the deepening water and the room was suddenly filled with the scent of lavender. Parker watched as he dug into his pack again and found a warm cotton sweater and a slender pair of denim jeans.
Handing them to Parker, Jarod said, “These should fit fine.”
Somehow Parker didn’t doubt that they would.
A moment later, Jarod left, carefully closing the door behind him with a click. Parker removed her clothes, cringing as she found every aching muscle during the process. Stepping gingerly into the tub, Parker eased herself down, sighing as the very hot water began to work miracles on her bruised body. When the tub was full, Parker turned off the spigot with her toes and allowed herself to enjoy the simple pleasure of a good soak.
The water had cooled to lukewarm when a new aroma made its way into Parker’s senses. The smell of beef stew and warm bread made her stomach growl. Quickly washing her hair and body, Parker finished in the tub. She toweled dry and dressed in record time, dragging a comb across her scalp in a half-hearted attempt to do something with the tangled tresses.
When Parker entered the main room of the cabin, Jarod was just spooning stew into bowls. He gestured her toward a small table set for two.
“You’re looking better,” Jarod smiled at her.
“I feel almost human again,” Parker agreed.
“Hungry?” he asked, placing a steaming bowl in front of her.
“Starved,” Parker growled. For several minutes, there was silence between them as Parker attacked the food with gusto. She was stuffing a second roll, smothered with butter, into her mouth when she caught the amused gleam in Jarod’s eyes. “What?” she snapped.
“Your ordeal seems to have improved your appetite,” he observed.
“I can’t remember the last time I had anything to eat,” Parker snapped viciously. “I guess a little dance with the ole jumper cables serves to improve the metabolism.”
Jarod flinched as though she had struck him. His eyes turned into smooth pools of remorse. “I’m sorry, Miss Parker. I didn’t realize.”
Parker sighed. “I’m the one who’s sorry, Jarod. I should be grateful, not snarling at you like this.”
A sad smile graced the pretender’s face. “Old habits die hard,” he said.
“Don’t they though?” Parker murmured sorrowfully.
Cleaning the sides of her bowl with the last bite of bread, Parker sat back and sighed with contentment.
“Did you get enough to eat?” Jarod asked. “I could open another can of stew.”
Parker shook her head and belched in a decidedly unladylike manner that made Jarod snicker.
“You must be tired,” he said kindly.
Again Parker shook her head, “Actually, I’ve spent most of the last twelve hours unconscious. The last thing I want to do is sleep. I feel worlds better now that I’m clean and well-fed.” She looked up at Jarod with a hopeful expression on her face. “A couple aspirin would be nice though.”
Jarod smirked with understanding. Crossing the room he rummaged in the ever-present knapsack and found a couple of tablets for her. After she had taken them, Jarod said, “Well, if you aren’t going to use the bed right now, do you mind if I catch an hour or so? I haven’t slept in a couple of days.”
Parker shrugged noncommittally.
Peeling off his sweater, Jarod crossed the room to the double bed along the opposite wall. He kicked off his shoes and flopped down on the mattress with a sigh. Parker tracked him with her eyes, marveling at the sharp angles of his frame.
They remained that way for several long minutes. Jarod was lying on his back with his eyes closed while Parker stared at the easy rise and fall of his chest. Parker was sure that the pretender had fallen asleep. So sure in fact, that when he spoke, his voice startled her and Parker flinched in her chair.
“Are you angry with me?” he asked softly.
Overcoming her small shock, Parker whispered, “Why would I be angry at you, Jarod?”
There was another long silence that stretched between them. Finally Jarod said in a low voice, “I’m sorry about Tanaka, Miss Parker. I know that he meant something to you.”
Parker shrugged, though she doubted that Jarod had opened his eyes to see her do so, “He didn’t give you much choice. “
Jarod nodded. “He would have let them kill you. You know that don’t you?”
“Yes,” Parker answered. “He was only doing his job. It wasn’t personal.”
Jarod propped himself up on one elbow and frowned at her from across the room. “How can you say that, Parker? You loved him. It HAD to have been personal.”
Parker smiled sadly. Jarod just didn’t get it. He couldn’t understand the separation of personal feelings and familial responsibility that had been such a large part of her relationship with Tommy. If wonder-boy was lucky, he would never learn to split himself in two that way. “What Tommy and I had was a long time ago,” she said gently. “We were two affluent young people, offspring of similarly powerful fathers. We traveled in the same circles while I was in Tokyo. We went to the same parties.” She shrugged. “We enjoyed each other.”
Jarod lay back down and stared up at the ceiling, pondering her words in silence for a time.
“I wonder how Lyle is faring,” Parker wondered aloud, if only to change the subject.
“Honestly,” Jarod said bluntly. “I could not possibly care less.”
“I guess he has it coming,” Parker sighed with a shrug.
Jarod snorted with derision.
“Do you think he’s dead?” she asked.
“I doubt it,” the pretender replied coldly. “Lyle is a monster, a hard creature to kill.”
Parker glanced up in irritation. “He is my brother, you know. My twin.”
“Are you going to sit there and defend him?” Jarod sat up and asked with a snarl.
“No,” she admitted. “I just- oh – never mind.”
“Go on,” Jarod urged. “I want to know what you were going to say.“
“It doesn’t matter,” Parker growled. “Go to sleep, Rat-boy.” She crossed her arms over her chest defensively.
There was another long silence.
“You aren’t like him, Parker,” Jarod purred in a warm, sensuous voice. “You have a conscience.”
Tilting her head inquisitively Parker asked, “Why do you always do that?” Standing abruptly, Parker began to pace, anger rising in her voice. Her sense of emotional self-preservation kicked in and she reacted in the only way she knew. “I’m no martyr Jarod,” she yelled. “I’m not the compassionate yet tragic heroine in this story you’ve concocted in that strange little head of yours. I work for The Centre. It is who I am, what I am.”
Jarod rose from the bed and walked across the room until only a few feet separated them. “Are you going to continue to deny the bond that we share?”
“Our only connection is that you run and I chase. Nothing more,” Parker said in voice sounding tired of the repetition.
Jarod shook his head and laughed sadly. “Perhaps you are right,” he whispered. “Maybe I only see what I want to see, not what really exists.”
They stared at each other, saying nothing for a long time.
“I suppose I should congratulate you, Miss Parker,” Jarod said in a smooth, hard tone that made Parker wary. “You’ve succeeded in doing something Raines and Sydney have never been able to manage.”
Parker was afraid to ask. Jarod’s face had that hard, hidden look that meant he was about to be cruel. But curiosity killed the cat, and she asked anyway, “What is that?”
“I have killed for you.” The pretender said in a tight voice. “Six men are dead because I chose your life over theirs.”
Parker looked up into Jarod’s eyes and saw hard flints glittering there. She was suddenly very aware of how much the pretender had changed in the past six years. So much of his innocence had gone since he joined the real word. The naiveté had vanished, replaced by the hardness of survival. Parker felt a deep sense of regret that something so precious had been lost.
Parker knew perfectly well that Jarod’s words had been carefully chosen. He was trying to get her to react; to reveal a soft side that only he knew existed.
“What do you want me to say, Jarod?” she asked with a weary sigh. She was so very tired of this game. “What do you want from me?”
Jarod sighed, sounding just as exasperated as she did. He stepped closer. ”Why do you ask questions when you already know the answers?” He whispered so close that his breath tickled Parker’s cheek.
Parker’s eyes fluttered shut as Jarod’s warmth radiated through her. He was so close that his nearness was oppressive. Need wound its way through Parker’s body, a deep desperate need that made her shiver. ‘This is too dangerous,’ her mind screamed at her. ‘You’ll pay for it with your life. Or worse, he will die in your place.’
“Talk to me, Parker,” Jarod murmured in a voice think with desire.
The pretender’s words flickered into Parker’s brain, but it was Thomas’ voice she heard. Flashing across her mind’s eye she saw the carpenter’s crumpled body sprawled on her porch. She flinched, and the image behind her eyelids morphed into Tommy Tanaka, slumping to his knees in a shirt stained with crimson. Parker’s eyes snapped open and she saw Jarod, leaning in close to kiss her.
Panic slammed into her like a freight train. “No,” she whimpered, recoiling as though snakes had just popped from Jarod’s forehead.
“Parker,” Jarod said tenderly, stepping forward to keep the distance between them close. “You know that we both want this. You’ve known since that night in Ocee’s cottage.”
Miss Parker stepped back and she bumped into the kitchen counter. Cornered and afraid, her well-honed survival skills took over and she lashed out at the man in front of her. She needed to hurt him, to make him withdraw and give her room to breath.
“Do you want me, Jarod?” she purred in a suddenly icy voice.
The pretender nodded warily.
“What would you do to gain what I have to offer you?” the chill in her tone doused the desire in Jarod’s eyes to some degree.
Tilting his head with a frown he said cautiously, “I would do anything for you, Miss Parker. Don’t you understand that yet?”
“Prove it,” Parker purred in a hard sexy voice.
“How?”
Stepping close, Parker went on the attack as her only means of defense. She reached out and raked her fingernails down Jarod’s naked chest, making his breath catch. “I’ll give you anything you want, anything you ask for. Tonight I’m yours,” she whispered seductively against his lips. Her eyes glittered and she straightened defiantly away from his embrace. “But tomorrow, you are mine. You come back to The Centre with me like a good little lab-rat should.”
Jarod blinked, stunned at what Parker had proposed. Of course, that had been her intent all along. She knew that the proposition would only anger him, which was exactly why she had made it.
Parker stood back and folded her arms over her chest, waiting for Jarod’s wrath. A minute passed, then two, and still Jarod had not stormed away from her in disgust. He simply stood there, his big brown eyes gazing soulfully at her. He studied her as if he would see into her very soul if only he could look hard enough.
“Okay,” he said finally.
Parker nearly fell on the floor in shock. She had expected anger and petulance, never for a moment believing that Jarod would agree to so outrageous a plan. Parker was still staring at him, her mouth agape in surprise, when the pretender stepped up to her, wrapped her in his arms and kissed her with a drugging intensity.
Parker could do little more than cling helplessly to his shoulders as Jarod drank from her lips like a man dying of thirst. She couldn’t breath, and deep down she realized she didn’t want to. Her mind was assaulted by sensations of him. His scent, the taste of salt and butter on his lips, the soft steel of muscle beneath her clutching fingertips.
When the kiss ended, they were both panting for air. Jarod snuggled into the crook of Parker’s neck, burying his face in her hair. Holding her tightly against him he whispered with a sad laugh, “I always wondered.”
“Wondered what?” Parker’s voice rasped huskily.
“If I could resist you,” Jarod murmured, trailing kisses along her jaw. “I knew it was only a matter of time, before you realized,”
Parker sighed dreamily as Jarod’s tongue flicked around her ear.
“You could have caught me years ago, Parker,” he went on as he nibbled at her flesh. “Little more than a flash of your panties in my direction and I would have followed you back like a puppy.”
Parker stiffed in his arms but Jarod held her firmly.
“Do you have any idea how much that frightened me?” he sighed.
“Jarod,” Parker whimpered as fear clawed its way into her heart.
“It’s okay,” he whispered, switching his attentions to her other ear. “I’m done fighting it. Buy your freedom with your body, Miss Parker. I pay the price willingly.”
Jarod slipped to his knees so that his lips were now at a level with Parker’s stomach. Strong fingers slid beneath her shirt, revealing tender flesh beneath. He suckled and licked at her belly button until she whimpered with need rather than fright. Jarod gazed up at Parker like a man praying at the foot of the Madonna. His eyes were so full of longing that Parker felt herself drowning in them.
“Tonight you are mine,” Jarod whispered in awe.
With Jarod’s arms wrapped possessively around her thighs and his gaze so full of hope, Parker could no more deny him than she could stop the world from turning.
“Yes,” she whispered tearfully as she stroked one hand through his hair.
The pretender put his head against Parker’s abdomen and hugged her close. “Anything I ask for,” he purred.
“Anything,” Parker agreed.
Jarod paid homage to her body, worshiping every inch of her until Parker was lost in him. As they moved to the bed, Parker pushed aside all her fears. Nothing and no one existed beyond the tight circle of paradise they found together. Rest of the word be damned. The dawn would come all too soon and Parker knew that when it did, she and Jarod would be forced to return to the land of the cursed. But for now there was only the two of them, a man and a woman, clinging to each other in passion and desperation.
When Jarod’s body finally joined with hers in the most intimate of ways, Parker could do nothing but cling to him, reveling in the smell of him, the taste of him, the feel of him. Parker wrapped her arms and legs around Jarod pulling him even closer to her as the world spiraled around them. They were invincible in this place, safe where nothing could hurt them.
They shivered and trembled against each other in the aftermath. Never had Parker felt so completely at one with another human being. Never had she felt so desolate at was to become of them.
“Parker,” Jarod whispered reverently against the damp flesh of her breast.
“Hush,” Parker begged, hugging him tight. “Don’t talk. Don’t ruin this moment.”
Jarod nodded and snuggled tenderly against her. Parker felt his breathing deepen as he drifted to sleep in her arms. Only when she was sure he was asleep did she let the tears come. She cried for what could have been between them. She wept for everything that had been stolen from them, for the happiness neither would ever be able to find. She wept silently until exhaustion overwhelmed her and sleep finally won over despair.
The next morning, Parker woke to find Jarod sitting on the edge of the bed. He was fully clothed, his leather jacket creaking slightly as he moved. Keys to the jeep dangled in his hand. Wordlessly, he handed Parker her clothes and turned away discretely while she dressed. When finished with the simple task, Parker followed meekly as Jarod led the way out of the cabin.
They climbed into the car and Jarod drove away. He never looked back. But Parker couldn’t help herself. She craned in her seat and watched out the rear window until long after the tiny house had disappeared from view.
They rode in silence, neither saying a word. Thirty minutes later, Jarod pulled into the parking lot of a small motel. Disappearing in the office for a moment, Jarod returned with a room key in his grasp. When they arrived in the dingy room, Parker sat morosely on the edge of the bed.
Jarod took the old rotary phone from the nightstand and tenderly placed the device in Parker’s lap. At her worried glance, Jarod smiled reassuringly and briefly caressed her cheek with his fingertips. A moment later he sat cross-legged on the floor with his back against the wall. A pair of handcuffs materialized from one pocket and he used them to calmly chain himself to an old, heavy bureau.
Parker’s lower lip trembled. Jarod had brought her here to fulfill his side of the bargain. She stared down at the telephone in her lap and the image blurred through unshed tears. He had been unwilling to let the sweepers come for him back at the cabin. It was too special, too close to his heart. This place was neutral, and had no emotional meaning for him. Parker knew that neither of them would ever tell another soul what had happened in their little hideaway in the woods.
Parker looked up at Jarod. He simply stared at her, expectation written across his face. With a heavy sigh, Parker closed her eyes and picked up the receiver. Her fingers seemed to dial the phone of their own accord.
The other end of the line was picked up before it could ring twice. “This is Sydney,” the familiar voice said.
“Its me,” Parker said. Her voice was strong, and held not a trace of the shattered creature within. “Come get me. And bring a sweeper team with you.” She felt oddly detached, as if her actions were being performed by someone on a stage and she was only watching. “Your lab-rat is coming home.”
The days that followed blurred together for Miss Parker. When Jarod had been escorted back through the doors of The Centre, she had been heralded as a conquering hero. Raines had promised her a hefty reward, which she had promptly declined. Instead, she had submitted her two weeks notice.
It felt so surreal. Parker had cleaned out her desk and shredded tons of files. She couldn’t quite make herself believe that she was actually going. Strangely enough, she owed this easy departure in large part to Lyle’s persuasion.
Lyle had somehow managed to escape from the fish hatchery. How, Parker didn’t know nor did she care to ask. He had been through the wringer, of course, badly beaten and cut in numerous places. He still had his one arm in a sling and he limped when he walked. But it had been Lyle who had talked Raines into letting Parker go.
Parker knew better than to think it was brotherly concern that made Lyle act in her favor. On the contrary, with Parker out of the picture, Lyle had no other obstacle in his path. If Parker left, Lyle would have no more competition in regards to Centre leadership. Parker was more than glad to let him have it.
Now Parker wandered through these dark corridors for the last time. Her office was bare. Her house was full of boxes and sheet-shrouded furniture. Tomorrow she was leaving town for destinations as yet unknown.
Sydney and Broots had given Parker a small farewell this afternoon. They had taken her to lunch and given her a small gift, a silver necklace. She had been touched, had even cried a little. Her fingertips brushed the delicate chain that now hung around her neck.
Parker trailed one hand along the wall as she rounded a corner. She had known so much sadness here, so much grief and hatred. Yet The Centre had been a huge part of her life, a life she was walking away from. As much as she hated this place, she found herself mentally bidding it farewell.
Realizing that she was on SL-23, Parker became aware of her true destination. There was one more goodbye that she needed to get through.
The room was bathed in shadow. A single bare incandescent bulb hanging from a chain was the only light. The bars of his cell cast crisscrosses of shadow on the floor. Stepping forward quietly, Miss Parker clasped the iron rods between her hands and found them to be very cold.
“Jarod?” she whispered, half hoping he wouldn’t be there.
A dark form, little more than a pile of crumpled rags, shifted in the corner. There was a distinct rattle of chains and the shape stood and shuffled toward the light. Parker’s heart clenched hard when she saw him.
Jarod was shackled around his bare ankles. A leather belt was locked around his waist and to this belt his wrists were closely chained. A similar belt cinched around his throat. This was attached to a chain connected to the wall. Raines was obviously taking no risks this time around. Houdini himself couldn’t get out of that get up.
Not that the pretender seemed to be in any shape to perform a disappearing act. He looked tired and sore. Bruises covered every inch of visible flesh. His head hung low and dejected.
“Hello, Miss Parker,” he said carefully, as though speaking caused him pain. “To what do I owe this honor?”
Parker heaved in a deep breath, fighting for the courage to see this through. “I’m leaving in the morning, Jarod. I won’t be back.”
Jarod’s head rose up and Parker could see his dark eyes shining at her through a curtain of long hair. “I’m glad for you, Parker. I really am.”
“Why didn’t you just run?” Parker sighed woefully, leaning her forehead against the cold bars. “You could have gotten away.”
“A deal is a deal. I made a promise,” Jarod said calmly.
Gazing intently at him, Parker had a startling revelation. Anger flashed through her. “You were testing me,” she accused. “You wanted to see if I would go through with it. To find out how much of a Centre whore I had become.”
Jarod shrugged as best he could in his restraints. “I needed to know. I needed to know if there was any remaining trace of the girl I fell in love with so long ago.” He sighed sadly. “But I understand now. The Parker legacy has stolen her from me forever, just like they’ve taken everything else. I haven’t the power to bring her back.”
Her rage flared out as quickly as it had come. “I’m sorry, Jarod,” she whispered tearfully.
“Don’t be,” the pretender replied in a tender voice. “It isn’t your fault. It was your job. You had a duty to perform.” Jarod closed his eyes as if in prayer. “But for one night,” he murmured. “I could pretend that the most incredible woman in the world loved me. For one magical moment in time, I made myself believe it was true.”
Parker choked back the sob that was building in her throat.
Then Jarod grinned at her. His face broke out in one of those dazzling, beautiful smiles of his. “Hell is so much easier to live in when you have memories of paradise to lean on. Even if paradise was only a dream.”
“Jarod, I,” Parker began.
Jarod cut her off with a shake of his head. “Goodbye, Miss Parker,” he said in a kind voice. “I hope you find what you are looking for someday.”
A sweeper stepped into the room then, with a stainless steel tray in his hands. Parker fled. She ran blindly through the corridors and ran from the building as though the devil was after her. It was two days and twelve hundred miles later that Parker began to wonder exactly how long she could keep running.
Only time would tell.
