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Chapter or Story
Legal disclaimer: The recognizable characters of the TV-show 'The Pretender' don't belong to me but to MTM, NBC Television and 20th Century Fox. I just borrowed them. Every other character does belong to me. This story was only written and published for my pleasure and that of other fans. I don't pursue any financial interests whatsoever. No copyright infringement is intended.
The story: Miss Parker has lost the love of her life - or has she?
My thanks go out to Cate - you've done a splendid job, and I never could have done this without your help!! BTW, all mistakes left in here are mine... ^_^
Insights
Part 6
by Miss Bit
Sydney's flat
Blue Cove, Delaware
03:18 p.m.
"So, what are you going to do now, Miss Parker?" Sydney asked gently. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, letting his gaze wander over the boxes and containers in his bedroom. Now that the Centre was no longer a threat to anyone there was no more reason for him to stay in Blue Cove.
Miss Parker, who was standing in front of the window, half turned. Her face was lit up by the sun, revealing to Sydney both the sorrow of the last weeks and the relief of the last few days. In addition to that there was this unmistakable glow in her eyes. She returned his gaze, shrugging her shoulders ever so slightly.
"I'll leave Blue Cove as well. There's nothing here to hold me back. The few things I've left from my mother I can take with me wherever I go."
"That sounds rather... definite."
"It's about time for me to consider my past finished. If I recall that correctly you have been telling me to do just that for some years now, Syd", she answered, smiling slightly.
"It's nice to see you finally listen to me, Miss Parker", he replied and got up from the bed. "Do you have any idea where you want to go yet?" he wanted to know, rummaging through one of the small containers.
"No, I haven't really thought about that yet", she admitted. "First I wanted to get this whole Centre mess behind me. You should never plan too far ahead."
Sydney nodded affirmatively, then he finally found what he'd been looking for.
"Ah, yes, here it is."
Satisfied, he looked at the key-ring in his hand.
"What's the key for?" Miss Parker asked, curious.
"That is... was my emergency plan. A place I could go to and hide from the Centre for a while. Since this won't be necessary anymore - and I decided to go abroad for some time - I thought that maybe you would like to go there."
Miss Parker stared at him, completely speechless.
"Shortly after Jacob and I began to work for the Centre we bought a house in Canada. It was Jacob who insisted we do it, and by now I'm quite sure that it was Catherine who gave him the idea. The house is very spacious and situated near Lake Dauphin. A little isolated perhaps..."
He trailed off and shrugged. Miss Parker walked over to him and hugged him.
"Thank you, Sydney", she murmured against his shoulder. Now that the Centre was destroyed none of them would have to worry about their financial situation, but Sydney's gesture moved her anyway. "This really means a lot to me."
"Oh, well, actually I only wanted to make sure that I'll know where to find you when I return from my travels", Sydney said with mock seriousness. Miss Parker made a step backwards and looked at him, mild reproach evident in her eyes, then her lips formed a warm smile.
"I expect you to visit us once you've returned", she said.
"I promise. Uhm, I know that it's really none of my business but... Will you go alone?"
"You're talking about the father of my child", she stated matter-of-factly, sighing softly. For a short moment there was a hurt expression on her face. Sydney was seized by worry, but the moment was over so fast that he almost believed he'd only imagined it.
"Yes. Look, it'll be really lonely up there. What if you need help?"
She gently touched his arm.
"Sydney, I'm glad to know that you care about my child and me, but be assured that I'll manage perfectly on my own. That's one of the more useful skills I acquired at the Centre."
Sydney realized that it was no use to try and convince her of his opinion. She could be unbelievably stubborn sometimes. He hadn't succeeded in persuading her to inform the father of her child about her pregnancy and he wouldn't be successful in this case, either. For some reason she believed that this was what's best for everyone involved, case closed.
"All right", he said, giving in to her. "But please do promise to take extra good care of yourself, okay?"
"Of course, Syd."
He left it at that, hoping that she was sensible enough to change her opinion sometime.
"And Syd?"
"Yes?"
"My name's Marine."
***
Sydney's flat
Blue Cove, Delaware
Two days later
06:08 p.m.
The last of Sydney's belongings had been safely stored away, and little was left that told of his life in this place. Sydney gazed at the sad remains of his furnishings. Like Miss Parker he didn't plan to ever return to Blue Cove. He'd been a prisoner here for too long.
In the afternoon he had taken Miss Parker to the airport where they had said their good-byes. He had spent the past two days at her house, helping her with packing and shipping the things she wanted to keep.
He was the last of them to leave this place. Broots and Debbie had left first, promising to contact them soon. They had all agreed to stay in touch with each other. In a few months, when things had calmed down, they would meet.
Sydney couldn't help but smile. He tried to imagine Broots' reaction to Miss Parker's child. Broots would definitely be very surprised - just like Sydney had been. But maybe all this had had to happen. She was so much like Catherine...
A soft tap on his door startled Sydney out of his musings. He rose to open the door.
"Jarod!"
"Hello, Sydney. Can I come in?"
"Yes, of course."
Jarod went past him, casting furtive glances around him.
"So you're leaving as well", Jarod stated the obvious.
"Yes, but only for a while. I can't stay here any longer."
"Understandable. When did you plan to tell me?"
"Jarod, I..."
"When, Sydney?"
Sydney heaved a sigh. He had dreaded this moment. He felt as if he were betraying Jarod, letting him down. The rational part of him knew that this was nonsense because Jarod could do very well on his own. And this part also told him that Jarod was wishing him all the best, that he understood Sydney's urge to leave this place. But still...
Undecided, Sydney looked at his former protégé. Jarod looked awful. He seemed to be jumpy and tired, was restlessly pacing the living room. Sydney frowned worriedly.
"Jarod, what's wrong?"
"Where is she, Syd? And don't tell me you don't know. I know she told you."
A faint sense of deja vu washed through Sydney - and suddenly he knew what this was about. Who this was about.
"You're talking about Miss Parker."
"Who else?"
Suddenly every bit of the puzzle fell into place. 'God, how on earth could I have ever been so blind?' Sydney asked himself. He slightly shook his head. If only he had guessed it a little earlier then he might have spared these two a lot of pain.
"She is in Canada. Jacob and I own a house there."
"Canada... Did she say why she went away?"
Sydney felt a wave of pity for Jarod but he decided to leave the explanations to Miss Parker - Marine, he corrected himself mentally.
"I suppose her reasons are very similar to mine. She probably just needed to bring some distance between her and this place so that she will have some peace to think about everything", Sydney answered evasively. He suddenly remembered the hurt expression he had seen on Marine's face. "Weren't there any signals for her wanting to leave?"
"God, Sydney, no. I have no idea why she went away without a word. She didn't even leave me a note or any other kind of explanation. Something must have happened..."
Sydney stepped up to him, putting an arm around his shoulders.
"Jarod, listen to me. She loves you. Very much, as far as I can tell. Follow her and talk to her - then everything will be all right again."
Something like hope was flashing up in Jarod's eyes, replacing some of his pain and confusion. "Do you really think so?"
"Yes", Sydney assured him firmly. "That's exactly what she wants, too. I'm absolutely sure about that."
Jarod leaned against a wall, clearly exhausted.
"I miss her so much", he whispered, closing his eyes for a moment. "Where will you go, Sydney? Won't I ever see you again either?"
"Jarod, look at me."
The pretender did as Sydney had asked him to. His eyes didn't reveal the wish to hurt Sydney, only the fear of losing everyone he loved.
"I'll leave the States for a while, travel across Europe maybe. But afterwards I'll return - to you and Marine. You two are like my own children; I could never leave you. I'd miss you way too much."
"Thank you, Sydney." Jarod walked over to him, hugging him briefly. "Thank you for everything." He made a few steps backwards, a sheepish smile on his face. "I'm really sorry for being so... aggressive when I came here."
"That's okay, Jarod. I can fully comprehend your feelings. Come, let's go to my car. There should be a map of Lake Dauphin in there. If not I think I'll have to try and remember the way to the house and describe it for you."
Jarod half-heartedly returned his grin, but followed him out. Sydney really hoped that Jarod and Marine would be able to settle things between them. It was painful for him to see them suffer like that. But if Jarod acted as sensibly as he used to everything would be in order when Sydney returned from Europe. And if not, Sydney would take matters in his own hands.
***
Home of the Stiller family
Hazen, North Dakota
03:56 p.m.
It was a cold day in the little suburb of Hazen. The wind was freshening up as Miss Parker got out of her car. This was the only stop she was going to make on her journey, and she was only doing it because it meant a lot to her personally. And it would probably mean even more to the parents of Ruth Stiller.
Before coming to the Stillers' house she had gone to a small graveyard only a few blocks away to visit Ruth's grave. She had simply stood there for a long time, thinking about the life Ruth had never been able to lead. Since Miss Parker had shared part of Ruth's memory she could at least imagine what her wishes and hopes might have been. Hopes that had never been fulfilled.
Carefully she opened the garden gate, slowly walking up to the well cared-for house. A typical terraced house, with a terrible story behind its facade. Miss Parker had made some inquiries about the family. Apart from Ruth the Stillers also had a son who was now living somewhere in California.
She had thought about coming here for a long time. Her coming here would bring up matters that had long since been regarded finished and would probably break open long-healed wounds. But she thought that Ruth's parents had every right to learn the truth. Miss Parker was sure that Ruth would have wanted it that way.
After a moment's hesitation she rang the doorbell. Shortly afterwards she could hear the sound of steps inside and then the door was opened. An elderly woman stood before her. The expression on her face was friendly but couldn't completely hide the traces of past suffering. This had to be Ruth's mother.
"Mrs. Stiller?" Miss Parker inquired gently. The woman tilted her head slightly to the side.
"Yes. How can I help you?"
Miss Parker smiled. For a split second, part of her remembered scenes of a childhood that wasn't her own. This woman had been a loving mother.
"My name's Marine Parker. You don't know me, but if you don't mind too much I'd like to talk to you about your daughter Ruth."
A mixture of surprise and a hint of pain crossed Mrs. Stiller's face. She thought for a moment, then she nodded and made a step to the side. "Please come in."
Miss Parker followed her inside. Mrs. Stiller led her into the living room and invited her to have a seat. Her eyes were attentively watching Miss Parker, and at the same time revealed her fear of what Miss Parker might have to say.
"You're too young - you couldn't have known her personally", Mrs. Stiller stated.
"That's true", Miss Parker admitted immediately. "Still I have some information about her." She leaned forward, filled by a compassion that surprised her. "Mrs. Stiller, I lost my mother when I was very young. I can comprehend your pain or at least part of it. As far as I know your daughter has been a wonderful young woman who lost her future by making a terrible mistake. I'm very sorry for making you live through it again but there is something about your daughter I thought you should know."
Ruth's mother looked at her for a long time, without saying a word. She seemed to consider what to think of Miss Parker. Miss Parker realized with some surprise that it was important to her what Mrs. Stiller thought of her.
"Ruth has been dead for a long time now. What could be so important for you to make this long journey just to tell me about it?"
"Until recently I have been working for an organization that - among other things - was occupied with documenting the past. While doing my job I found something out about your daughter. Mrs. Stiller, your daughter was no murderer. She might have made a mistake - but she has never killed anyone."
Mrs. Stiller leaned back in her armchair. "I knew it", she whispered. "I've always known it." There were justified hope and pride in her dead daughter audible in her voice. "You only came to tell me that?" she then asked.
Miss Parker nodded. "Yes. As I've already told you - I thought you should know. I'm sorry if I wasted your time..."
The older woman smiled with warmth. "No, Miss Parker, not at all. Quite the contrary. I don't know many people who would have gone to so much trouble just to try and make up for something that happened such a long time ago. Thank you very much."
"You really don't need to thank me, Mrs. Stiller. Ruth's fate really touched me. I didn't want those who loved her to have a wrong image of her."
"I have never doubted the innocence of my daughter - still, it's good to have certainty."
Miss Parker rose. "It's been a pleasure to meet you."
"The pleasure's mine, Miss Parker." Mrs. Stiller took her hand and squeezed it firmly. "Thank you", she repeated, her voice filled with warmth. Her visitor smiled slightly.
"You're welcome", she replied simply. Now she was glad that she had come. Ruth's mother brought her to the door.
"Good-bye, Miss Parker", Mrs. Stiller said with a gentle smile. Miss Parker returned the smile, gently squeezing Mrs. Stiller's hand.
"Good-bye, Mrs. Stiller."
After a last long look Miss Parker turned and went back to her car. Now there was nothing left standing between her and her new life in Canada. For a split second, she regretted this fact, but then her determination returned. A new life was lying in front of her even if it wasn't quite what she had wanted for herself.
****
Sydney's house
Lake Dauphin, Canada
07:37 p.m.
Dusk was falling as Miss Parker drove the last miles to her new home. Sydney had been right; the house was really isolated. The last house she had driven past lay by now three miles behind her.
Eventually her house appeared behind a bend in the road. She cast a glance through the trees but it was already too dark to have a decent look at the house. Miss Parker drove up to the house, pulled to the side and turned off the engine. She left the headlights on for a moment longer so that she could at least get a short impression of her new home.
Like most of the other houses in the area it was made of wood. With its two floors it looked really spacious from the outside. So she would at least have enough space. 'But no one to share it with', she thought with a sudden surge of bitterness. Angrily she pushed the thought away. After all she had come here to have some time on her own.
She switched the headlights off and reached for the bag that was standing on the passenger seat. The rest of her things could remain in the car until the morning. Miss Parker got out of the car and walked the few yards to the house. After a few moments of rummaging through her bag she found the key that Sydney had given her. She unlocked the door, and after another few seconds she had found the light switch. Skeptical, she pressed it.
Much to her surprise, the light did go on. "Oh, good", Miss Parker murmured contentedly. Curious, she looked around. The house was in a remarkably good state; the furniture had been covered with cloths and there was hardly any dust to be seen. Miss Parker recalled Sydney telling her that there had been someone looking after the house, just in case he needed to move in quickly.
She left her bag standing in the living room to have a look at the rest of the house. First, she went into the kitchen which was equally as clean as the living room. When she opened some of the cupboards she even found food supplies. It really seemed as if she could do very well here.
Her gaze swept through the room, came to rest on the sink. Now, if the water was running as well she would be satisfied. She opened the faucet and made a face as there was only a gurgling sound coming from the depth of the sink, but shortly afterwards the water started to run into the sink, looking clear enough to her. Relieved, she turned the water off.
Next, she went to the upper floor to continue her inspection round. She found two bedrooms, a spacious bathroom and a kind of atelier that gave her an enthusiastic feeling about the house. Miss Parker returned into the living room thinking that she liked this house better with every minute that passed. She locked the door, took her bag with her and went back upstairs. There she took a minute to decide which bedroom she should choose and opted for the bigger one. Not only did the large bed in it look very comfortable, it was also closer to the bathroom.
Miss Parker smiled about herself. Actually, she wasn't feeling all that bad - as long as she managed not to think of the end of the Centre or Jarod. Her smile faded. It would probably take her while to accomplish that.
Absently, she unpacked her things and went into the bathroom. A nice hot bath was all she wanted right now.
****
Sydney's house
Lake Dauphin, Canada
The next day
10:12 a.m.
A gentle breeze was rocking the treetops high above the ground. Miss Parker got out of her car and looked up to the sky. The sun had driven the last clouds away and was now shining with full strength. It was really astonishing how calm and peaceful everything seemed, Miss Parker mused. An elementary satisfaction tentatively began to fill her.
She took her purchases out of the trunk and carried them into the house. The last night had been short for her although she had gone to sleep early. About four o'clock she had woken up from a nightmare, bathed in sweat, and had been unable to go back to sleep. So she had got up at five - also because her morning sickness had driven her out of bed.
In spite of the long journey and lack of sleep she was full of energy which she had used to do what little cleaning the house had required. By the time the sun had risen she had been finished with the house. She had then fetched the rest of her things from the car. The few larger things she had decided to take with her wouldn't arrive before the end of the week.
After she had put away her things she had tried to find some coffee but had soon given up and had made do with tea. Next, she had driven into the small town that was about fifteen minutes away from her house.
She smiled as she remembered her little shopping tour. In this neighborhood people knew each other so that a new face naturally got a lot of attention. Miss Parker had already made a few acquaintances in the town, and she was quite sure that she would get a visit or two during the next days. Just a few months ago she would have surely thought her neighbors to be obtrusive but now she only grinned about the silent scrutiny she had encountered. In a few more weeks, once her pregnancy had become visible, people would probably get even more... ready to help.
Miss Parker put her purchases away, thinking about what she could do next. The living room and the kitchen were all clean, so maybe she should take care of the upper level. Some careful questions in the town had made it clear that she would have no problem finding someone who would take care of those jobs around the house that she couldn't do on her own. And Mr. Morris, who owned the grocery store, had assured her that she could always turn to him if there was anything wrong with the house.
She went into the living room, thoughtfully staring at her bed. Hopefully, her sleep problems wouldn't last too long. There were of course ways to do something about that but most of them held disadvantages for her child. Besides she had never thought much of sleeping drugs. Maybe she should try and stay awake until she was too tired for having nightmares...
Lost in thought, she went to one of the large windows which caught the first rays of the morning sun. The fact that this bedroom had bay windows had been another reason for her to choose it above the other one. She sat down, gazing outside on a landscape that was yet strange to her. To her right there was mostly woods; a lot of the trees looked as though they were at least an eternity old. On the left side she could see the shimmering blue waters of the lake which she had only seen while driving past.
Miss Parker got up again and went back downstairs. The weather was far too good to waste her time sitting in the house all day. She went through the small dining-room next to the kitchen to get out on the terrace. It was a large terrace that lead to a verandah on both the left and the right side so that the house was framed on three sides. The view from the terrace was marvelous; you could see a large part of the lake. For a long while Miss Parker simply leaned against the railing, gazing at the calm blue water. 'Almost like home', she mused, but then shook her head about herself. This was her home now. Hers and that of her daughter. She lovingly stroked her belly. Just a few more months and she would be a mother... The thought was still new to her; but at the same time it filled her with a familiar warmth. Whenever she had thought about her future, children had played no role in it but now it was already impossible for her to imagine a future without her daughter. 'A scant few days ago a life without Jarod in it was just as unimaginable', she thought bitterly. Pain accompanied the thought. She shut her eyes for a moment, trying to think of something else. But then she decided that she could no longer run away from the thought. She had to deal with it.
Miss Parker cast a last look at the lake before she went back inside. A walk would help her to clear her mind and focus her thoughts, so that she could think about it peacefully.
***
It was already late in the afternoon when Miss Parker returned from her walk. Though she hadn't lost her way she had underestimated the distance she had walked while heading away from the house. The sun was slowly setting as Miss Parker unlocked the door and entered her house.
After taking off her jacket Miss Parker went into the kitchen to eat something. She didn't really want to but regular meals were important for the well-being of her child. Her thoughts were still revolving around her mother for she was the person she had mainly thought about during her walk. Her mother had planned to leave the father of her child to live alone with her daughter as well. During the last weeks Miss Parker had often wondered how much different her life would have been if her mother had really taken her to Europe. She knew that these reflections led her nowhere but she simply couldn't help it.
Absentmindedly, she put her plate in the sink; she would clean it later. She went upstairs into her bedroom and pulled a small box from under her bed. It contained everything she had left from her mother. Miss Parker pulled an album and an old, worn teddy bear out of the box, then pushed it back under the bed. Then she went back downstairs and made herself comfortable in the living room. Though it wasn't really cold she made a fire in the fireplace, just for the comforting sight and sound of it. There was enough chopped wood and lighter as well so that it didn't take her long to get the fire started.
Afterwards she settled down on the couch. She took the album from the couch table, opening it almost reverently. It was her baby book; her mother had continued it even when Miss Parker had grown out of the baby age. Miss Parker was quite sure that her father didn't even know this book existed - and even if he knew it would probably mean nothing to him.
Catherine Parker had recorded every single important moment in Miss Parker's life - and in Catherine's opinion there had been a lot of them. Her birth, birthdays, her first word, her first steps and so many more - everything had been put down lovingly. This book was the most precious memento she had of her mother. Jarod had sent it to her, right after she had learned of her father's engagement. Jarod...
She couldn't hinder herself from thinking about him. He was too much a part of her life, of her, for that. God, she missed him so much. Damn, she didn't even have the memories of happier times with him to comfort her! There was always the nagging doubt, the question if he had been lying to her all the time, if he had been thinking about another woman when he had been with her. Miss Parker reached for the teddy bear, hugging it tightly to herself. When she had been a child it had often comforted her.
Had it really been right to simply go away, without talking to Jarod first? Maybe there was a simple explanation for everything... Now she would never know.
Tears were streaming down her face. She had lost so much, and Jarod had been the only one who had really understood her, who had always been there for her. How could he have done this to her? All she had left of him now was her child. As if on their own volition her hands softly glided down to her stomach.
"I'm sorry for being so sad, little one", she whispered. "But it's hurting so much - I miss your father so much. God, I love him so much..." Her voice broke. The tears didn't bring her any comfort - not yet. But hopefully they would soon.
***
Lake Dauphin, Canada
07:51 p.m.
It was almost completely dark as Jarod was driving through the woods. Only a small part of his attention was focused on the road before him. His thoughts were incessantly revolving around his imminent encounter with Marine. Fear and insecurity were holding him in a tight grip. He still didn't understand why she had gone away. Jarod knew that Sydney hadn't told him everything he knew. But no matter how much Jarod had asked him, his old mentor had remained silent.
The house came in sight. Jarod could see light filtering through the trees. Now was his last chance to return - but that wasn't what he wanted at all. All he wanted was to see her again and find out what was standing between them. The pain he was feeling was different from anything else he had ever felt. Being separated from Marine hurt him almost physically.
During the last nights he had barely slept. He had incessantly wondered what he might have done wrong. But he had shrunk back from using his last, most powerful means: his pretender talents.
Jarod reached the house. Almost numbly he turned off the engine but stayed seated in the now dark car. Now that he was here - so very close to her - his insecurity intensified but so did his wish to see her. He got out of the car and walked to the door. Nervously he searched for the key Sydney had given him. Nothing was hindering him now to simply walk in to her.
His gaze wandered to the window next to the door. He could see her. She was sitting on a couch, her head lowered, a teddy bear in her arm. Marine. His heart skipped a beat or two.
"Marine", he whispered.
His insecurity was replaced by determination as Jarod pulled out the key to unlock the door.
***
Sydney's house
Lake Dauphin, Canada
08:03 p.m.
The fire in the fireplace was crackling softly. Miss Parker was still sitting on the couch. Her tears had ceased; the pain had not. Maybe she should go to bed but somehow the thought of the large, empty bed held no attraction for her.
A sound from the front door startled her. Someone was out there. And judging from what she could hear, this someone had a key to the house. Had Sydney followed her?
For a moment she wondered if she should get her gun from upstairs but then thought better of it. Nobody knew she was here, and she didn't need a gun to deal with a simple burglar. She listened intently. Whoever her visitor might be hesitated a moment before he slowly opened the door. Miss Parker held her breath and tensed her muscles.
The door was gradually opened. At first there was only a tiny crack, then, finally, Miss Parker was able to catch a glimpse of her unexpected visitor. It only took her a split second to identify him. Jarod. Her thoughts ran wild and her anyhow shaken emotional world was threatening to collapse.
Jarod stood in the doorway, merely staring at her. The look in his eyes told her everything she needed to know. Most of all she recognized helplessness and in addition to that... fear?
She felt paralyzed. Relief threatened to wash every other emotion in her away. Jarod had followed her. He was here to see her.
"Marine?"
His voice was soft, betraying his insecurity. An eternity seemed to pass before Miss Parker found the strength to answer him. Adamantly, she reminded herself of the envelope she had found and what it had to mean. No matter how hard she tried - she couldn't convince herself that he was here because he loved her, because he had missed her as much as she had missed him.
"Hello, Jarod", she got out softly. 'He doesn't know I found out', she suddenly thought. She shut her eyes for a short moment. Why was everything feeling so wrong suddenly? When she reopened her eyes she noticed that Jarod hadn't moved. His gaze was still resting on her, searching, almost pleading. Her compassion was roused, but she ignored it. Now she had the opportunity to detach herself from him. The fact that she didn't really want to do it only played a minor role.
"Why are you here?" she asked calmly though there was an emotional storm raging in her. Stunned, he kept staring at her.
"Why?" he asked in an incredulous tone. It was obvious that he thought her question to be absurd. He looked tired, tired and exhausted, Miss Parker noticed, worried. And there was pain evident in his dark eyes. Could it be that he...
"Sydney told me where you were", he explained, watching her expectantly. Her heart sank; her tentative joy of seeing him again was crushed. Now she knew why he was here. Sydney had betrayed her. He had told Jarod about the child and that was the only reason why Jarod had followed her all the way to Canada. All her hopes dissolved. She felt tears burning in her eyes and forced them back, using every ounce of her willpower.
"I see", she said flatly. It was time to settle things between them. "You mustn't feel obliged to me", she continued, astonishingly calm. "You're free, Jarod; you can spend your life wherever you want to - with whomever you want to."
Jarod stared at her, uncomprehending. Several emotions were playing across his face, reflecting his inner conflict.
"Damnit, Marine, what the hell is wrong?" he suddenly burst out. It was only now that he moved away from the door, making two steps in her direction. Everything about him told her how helpless he was feeling. The look in his eyes, his posture, the way he clenched his fists only to relax them a few seconds later. Incredulous, she realized that he, too, was on the verge of tears. Still she refused to believe what her heart had already recognized as the truth.
"I love you, Jarod", she whispered. "But I'd never ask of you to stay with us. You should be with the woman you love."
He took a few wavering breaths. "But I am right now, Marine! Please, tell me what's wrong. If it's something I've done..." His voice was but a hoarse whisper, but his words were ringing in her head, as loud as thunder.
"But... But what about Nia?" she heard herself ask. She seemed to be far away and much too close at the same time. Something hindered her from seeing everything clearly.
The confusion evident in Jarod's eyes intensified. He seemed to have a hard time controlling himself. Jarod shut his eyes ever so briefly, slightly shaking his head. "Are you trying to say that this has something to do with Nia?" he wanted to know, only superficially calm.
For the first time since he had arrived Miss Parker felt anger rise in her. How dare he ask that? Why else should she have gone away if not to release him from his obligations to her? Unable to speak, she merely nodded.
"Marine..."
He turned and walked to the door. Panic seized her.
"Jarod!" She couldn't let him go just like that. Now she realized that it was impossible - she needed him.
Jarod closed the door without turning to her. He leaned against the cool wood for a moment. When he turned to face her, dawning realization was evident in his eyes, combined with relief. He walked over to her, squatted down in front of her and took her hands in his own.
"Marine", he began, his voice soft and very gentle, "I love you with all my heart and all my soul. Since the first time I met you, you've got a very special place in my heart. A future without you I can't imagine. I don't know what I can do to dispel your doubts about my love for you - but I want to do it, more than anything else. Nia is no competition for you; she's never been. I met her in a time when my life seemed empty and joyless to me. She's been a good friend and a great comfort to me - and nothing more. Nia was there for me when I needed comfort and support, but she never took your place. Nobody could ever do that. My love belongs to you, and only you. I love you, Marine. And if I hurt you, then please forgive me because I didn't mean to. I couldn't ever knowingly hurt you."
His words erased every doubt, every suspicion from her heart, let her see that she had made a mistake. The relief she felt was almost painful in its intensity. Still there was one thing left she had to be sure of.
"What about the letter?" she asked almost fearfully. Confused, he looked at her, an almost desperate expression on his face, but then his face lit up.
"The letter? You found the letter? And you thought that I..." His relief was almost palpable. "Oh god, love, I wanted to tell you but I simply forgot about it! If only I had guessed..." Jarod laughed, this way venting his pent-up emotions. Tenderly his fingers stroked hers. "Nia got married, more than a month ago. Shortly after you and I finally got together I called her, simply because I wanted to know how she was doing. I planned to tell you but I wasn't too sure how you would react so I thought I'd wait a little bit longer. The letter you found... there's nothing in it but my best wishes for Nia's future."
Miss Parker felt more relieved than ever before in her life. Wordlessly, she freed her hands from his, tenderly putting them to both sides of his face. She drew him to her, holding him tight, reveling in his presence.
"I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry", she whispered, her voice trembling with emotion. Jarod gently shook his head.
"Don't be", he replied softly. "But please, promise me that you'll talk to me whenever you feel there's something wrong. You know you can trust me. Whatever you are feeling, I want to know about it, share it with you, help you however I can."
"I promise." She kissed him lightly on the head. "I love you so much, Jarod. Without you, I'm not whole. I need you. Right now I wish I'd never have to let go of you again."
"You don't have to", he answered. For a long while they just stood holding each other. None of them was ready to give up their newly won closeness so soon. Then, all of a sudden, Miss Parker remembered something. Reluctantly, she stepped away from Jarod who looked at her questioningly.
"Sydney didn't tell you anything? About us, I mean?"
He looked at her, confusion evident in his eyes. "About us? No." Slight worry flashed up in his eyes. This time it was her who laughed with relief.
"Jarod, this 'us' doesn't mean you and me. Oh, I've been such a fool! I was afraid to tell you." She continued very gently. "I'm talking about another 'us'."
Excited, she watched him. At first she saw understanding dawning in his eyes, followed by vague hope. He stared at her unbelievingly. She nodded.
"I'm pregnant, Jarod. We're going to be parents soon. I'm expecting your child - our child."
Wild joy erased every trace of pain from his face.
"Marine!"
He pulled her up with him, hugging her elatedly, then letting go of her to gently cup her face in his hands and look deeply into her eyes.
"Our child", he whispered, overjoyed. Then his face clouded for a brief moment. "Why on earth were you afraid to tell me? God, there is nothing I could want more than starting a family with you!"
Miss Parker smiled sheepishly. "Like I've said - I was a fool. Blame it on the hormones", she said, shrugging slightly. "You're going to see more of them during my pregnancy, I'd say", she warned mockingly.
"I'm looking forward to it", he assured her. She laughed softly.
"Yeah, that's what you're saying now! Do you want to know the baby's sex?"
Baffled, he looked at her, merely able to nod.
"We will have a daughter", she informed him. His reaction exceeded all her expectations.
"A daughter", he repeated dreamily. "We're gonna have a little girl!" His gaze came to a rest on her stomach. Very gently he put one of his hands on it. "A little daughter..."
"It's way too early to feel any movements", she teased him gently. When he looked up at her the beaming smile in his eyes took her breath away. A single tear ran down his cheek. Carefully, she wiped it away.
"I love you, Marine. I love you both."
He drew her to him, kissing her gently. But soon the kiss changed, became longing and passionate. They reassured each other of their love, without using a single word, leaving the pain of the past behind them.
***
Sydney's house
Lake Dauphin, Canada
The next day
09:09 a.m.
Jarod opened his eyes, not completely sure what to expect. The events of the last day and night replayed in his mind. He smiled, fully opening his eyes. Marine.
She was lying in his arms, fast asleep. Carefully, he drew her even closer to him. Finally. Having her so close to him had been something he'd sorely missed. He watched her lovingly, feeling his heartbeat quicken. No matter what the future would bring he wouldn't allow that they were separated like that ever again.
Marine, the mother of his child, his daughter. Excitement accompanied this thought. He would be a father soon, and together with the woman he loved more than life itself he would raise their child. Not only would their daughter have a loving home, she would also have everything else Marine and he had missed in their own childhood. A daughter... Jarod hoped that she was going to resemble her mother, that she would be just as loveable and uncompromising as Marine.
He tenderly kissed her forehead. She stirred slightly, her lips forming a gentle smile, but she didn't wake up. During the last days Jarod had given much thought to their relationship, but it had been only yesterday that he had realized that there was much more to it than just being in love. A partnership also meant work. They shared a deep understanding that would enable them to win back the trust they had lost during the past years. He smiled. There would also be bad times, of course - but he was looking forward to them as well as long as he had Marine by his side.
"You're brooding again", he suddenly heard a soft murmur. Marine's eyes were still closed but she was smiling knowingly.
"No", he contradicted, "I've only made some plans for our future." His voice became soft. "Did you sleep you well?" Her smile broadened.
"Better than ever", she replied gently. "And you?"
"I didn't sleep at all", he admitted somewhat sheepishly. She sat up, looking at him with some surprise. He grinned reassuringly. "Oh, well, maybe a bit", he continued, his expression sobering. "I simply couldn't stop watching you", he said, shrugging. The expression on Marine's face changed, now radiating a deep warmth.
"Jarod..." The way she whispered his name as an endearment touched something deep inside of him. She moved closer to him, tenderly kissing him on the lips. He was about to return the kiss, slowly pulling her closer, when she suddenly broke free from his arms.
"I'm sorry", was all she said before she fled from the bed. For a moment he merely stared after her, utterly confused. Then he got up to follow her, stopping in front of the bathroom door.
"Marine?"
Jarod stared at the closed door, frowning worriedly for the sounds he heard were indicating that she was being sick. He didn't get any answer, but a few minutes later she came back out, a faint smile on her lips.
"Dr. Simmerson said the morning sickness would probably ease off after the first three months", she explained. "I, for my part, can hardly await it."
"Are you all right?" Jarod wanted to know, still worried about her. Marine chuckled softly.
"Sure! Billions of other women before me have gone through it as well - and survived. Don't you worry, I'll do just fine. How about some breakfast now?"
The sudden change of subject stunning him, Jarod was merely able to stare at her. She had to bite back her laughter as he finally nodded, still a bit dumbfounded. True, he had heard a few remarks about the antics of pregnant women, but being confronted with them personally was quite a remarkable experience. Especially since the pregnant woman he'd have to deal with was Marine Parker.
"Okay", he got out, trying to overcome his insecurity about the situation. Marine looked at him for a long time, then she leaned in to him, lightly kissing him on the cheek. Then she was on her way to the kitchen.
"Simply regard it as a challenge", she advised, amusement clearly audible in her voice. He gazed after her for some seconds, then a slow grin began to spread on his face as he followed her downstairs. Apparently he was about to have a very interesting time.
****
Sydney's house
Lake Dauphin, Canada
04:29 p.m.
Miss Parker sipped at her tea, wistfully staring at the tea pot that was still half full. Dr. Simmerson had recommended this special blend to her, saying that it would help against her morning sickness. There had been little success yet, though.
She left the kitchen, crossing the dining-room to get out on the terrace. Jarod was sitting there, gazing at the lake. When he heard her, he half-turned and smiled warmly.
"Hey", he greeted her softly.
"Would you rather be left alone?" she asked instead of a greeting, slowly walking around him to sit down next to him. He shook his head in immediate refusal. Miss Parker smiled knowingly.
"Of course not", he replied. She got down next to him on the small wooden bench, and he put his arm around her shoulders. "It's beautiful out here."
"Mhm", she agreed, lending her voice an absent tone. Jarod looked at her questioningly. "Now you finally have the chance to find your family", she continued. "The Centre will no longer get in your way, nor does it pose a threat anymore."
Jarod nodded. "I've already started to search for them but after all that happened it will be quite difficult to get in touch with them." There were both regret and determination audible in his voice.
"I don't think it will be as difficult as you seem to believe", Miss Parker said enigmatically. When she saw Jarod's bewildered expression she couldn't help but feel pity for him and decided to let him in on her secret. This matter was way too important to tease him with it. "This was in the mail this morning." She pulled out an envelope that was addressed to both of them and handed it over to Jarod. He took it from her, eyeing it curiously.
"A letter from Sydney?"
"No. It's from Charles."
Surprised at her mentioning his father he looked at her. "He knows we're here?"
"Obviously, yes. You're not the only in your family who's got a knack for keeping informed. Go on, read it", she asked him impatiently. "It's good news."
She watched his face while he was reading, thinking back to her own reaction. Charles really was well-informed. As soon as he had got wind of their imminent campaign against the Centre he had contacted his family. Jarod's parents and his sister were already reunited, impatiently waiting to see Jarod again. Now that the Centre was no longer a threat to anyone there was nothing that stood against a meeting.
Miss Parker shared the joy she saw in Jarod's dark eyes when he had reached the end of the letter. Stunned, he shook his head.
"I... can hardly believe it", he managed to get out.
"Believe it. It'll be only a few more days until you'll see your family again." She lovingly tousled his short hair. "Then you'll fully understand who you are and where you come from."
He nodded absently, looking back down on the letter he was holding in his hand. "How come he knows about all this?" he then asked, looking at her. "I mean, he even knows about you and me."
Miss Parker shrugged. "He knows a lot about people. And as far as we're concerned - I think he knew about us long before either one of us did."
Jarod thought about her words. Eventually a slow smile spread on his lips. "But I bet he doesn't know yet that he's going to be a grandfather."
She returned his smile. "No, he definitely doesn't know. I can hardly wait to see his face when we tell him!"
"Yeah, me too", Jarod agreed. He looked as though he had suddenly remembered something. "Please wait a moment, okay? Just stay right here. I'll be back in a second!" Without waiting for her answer he jumped up and went into the house. Miss Parker gazed after him, mildly surprised. What was he up to now? Well, she would surely see in a minute or two.
She leant back, gazing at the calm waters of Lake Dauphin, letting her thoughts drift. During the last weeks not only had her life changed fundamentally - she herself had become a new person. There was a lot she had lost but that paled in comparison to all the things she had gained and achieved. Jarod was with her now, loving her with a fierceness that almost frightened her a bit. But with every day that went by it was easier for her to let him get closer to her, to open up her self to him. And their love for each other seemed to grow on and on, deepening in the process - which was something she was more than grateful for. And then there was their daughter...
Miss Parker thought of her own mother, wondering if she could be as good a mother to her daughter as Catherine had been. Even now she was feeling an overwhelming love for her unborn child and she was determined to be the best mother she possibly could be. And even though her new role was frightening her a great deal at times, she was sure that she would manage with Jarod by her side. He would be a splendid father. She smiled when she tried to imagine it. Yes, he would be an awesome father.
There was really a lot she should be grateful for. The Centre was almost completely destroyed; the few remaining parts weren't posing any threat anymore. For the first time ever since her mother had died Miss Parker was really free. No one was trying to make any decisions about her life. The future she was looking forward to was the one she had chosen for herself. And this future might even contain a new family she could feel happy with - if Jarod's family was ready to accept her...
"Who's brooding now?" Jarod suddenly breathed into her ear. She blinked, returning to the present. Jarod was standing next to the bench, an unreadable expression in his eyes. One of his hands was hidden behind his back, the other reaching out to her. When she took it, he pulled her up, leading her to the railing of the terrace.
"Jarod, what's up?" she wanted to know, but he only smiled, gazing deeply into her eyes. For a long while she just returned his gaze, getting lost in his wonderful dark eyes, exploring the depths of his warm gaze.
"I love you, Marine", he said eventually, in a tone that filled her with an intense warmth. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you - every single day, every hour of it. You're the most important person in my life and I've thought a lot about how I could prove it to you."
"You don't have to prove anything to me", she began, but he interrupted her gently.
"I know, but I want to. There's something I want you to have... something I want to ask you..."
All of a sudden, he became a helpless little boy again. She looked at him with big eyes, not completely sure what he was up to. He smiled a bit awkwardly and finally pulled his hand from behind his back. Miss Parker looked down on his hand, and an idea began to form in the back of her mind. A small box was resting in his hand. Jarod fumbled with it for a few moments, then he had it open. "You surely remember how I sent you your mother's engagement ring. This is", he said, indicating the now open box, "my mother's engagement ring."
Completely speechless, she stared at the ring in his hand. It was a simple ring with a small diamond but in her eyes it was the most beautiful ring she'd ever seen. "Where... where did you get it from?" she asked, astonished. She looked at him, tears shimmering in her eyes, but she didn't even notice. Miss Parker was way too happy.
"It was in the envelope you brought with you from England. My mother gave it to my father when he had to leave her all those years ago - as a memento. I believe you were right. My father really knew all about us before we did."
Jarod looked at her with so much love in his eyes that she believed her heart would stop beating any second now. "Our daughter will have a loving family - no matter what your answer will be. But it would make me unspeakably happy if you said yes. Marine, will you marry me?"
As he looked at her, waiting for her answer, he didn't even dare to breathe. Miss Parker was filled with so intense a joy she had to close her eyes for a moment. Never before in her whole life had she ever felt as happy as in this moment. She opened her eyes again, returning Jarod's gaze, gently cupping his face in her hands.
"I love you, Jarod. More than I could ever say. Except for my mother no one has ever been as close to me as you are - and no one could ever understand me the way you do. Not only are you a part of my life, you are a part of me. Without you I wouldn't be whole. Yes, Jarod, I will - there's nothing I want more."
"Marine..."
He folded her in his arms and kissed her passionately, almost fiercely, making any words unnecessary.
***
Epilogue
Sydney's house
Lake Dauphin, Canada
Ten months later
Jarod stood before the crib he had built six months ago. His gaze was full of awe as he looked at the little girl who was sleeping soundly in the wooden cradle. Catherine, his little daughter, who resembled her mother so very much.
"Do you plan to stand here all night?" Marine suddenly whispered into his ear, her voice clearly amused. She stepped up to him from behind, putting her arms around his waist. He laid his hands on hers as he answered her question.
"I simply had to look at her again", he explained softly so he wouldn't rouse their daughter. Marine made two steps to stand next to him, gazing at Catherine as well.
"I know what you mean. It's like a miracle. Only now I can understand how my mother must have felt."
Jarod pulled her closer to him, kissing her on the forehead. Ever since their daughter had been born there had hardly been this sad undertone in her voice whenever she was speaking of her mother. But Jarod knew how much it hurt Marine that Catherine Parker had never known her granddaughter.
"She's got your eyes, did you notice?" he said in order to distract her. She looked at him, an amused expression on her face.
"Jarod, all babies have blue eyes."
"But not this special blue", he contradicted. "Besides, she's past the age when the color of the eyes still changes."
Marine gazed pensively at the crib, a faint smile playing about her lips. When she looked back at him, her eyes were sparkling.
"You know, I wouldn't mind having a son sometime soon...", her smile deepened, "who might have your eyes."
Her words filled him with a warmth that was inseparably connected to her presence.
"That sounds marvelous", he murmured, gazing deeply into her eyes. She folded her hands around his neck, pulling him closer to her, kissing him tenderly. After a while she stepped back before he got the chance to return the favor.
"I've talked to Ben", Marine said so suddenly that Jarod raised his eyebrows inquisitively. "Did you know that he had a twin brother? He died when Ben was only three years old. So, if he really is my father..."
Jarod knew what she was about to say. In that case their chances of having twins as well were quite good. He smiled.
"Maybe I should think about building a second crib..."
"Sounds like a good idea to me. And now... how about going back to bed?"
He leaned in to her, his lips brushing against her ear.
"That sounds like another good idea", he whispered.
They remained standing before the crib for a few more moments, gazing at their sleeping daughter. Then they left the room. Automatically, Jarod took the way to their bedroom but Marine took his hand in hers and pulled him with her.
"I thought we were going back to bed?"
"I've changed my mind. It's such a beautiful night."
Jarod chuckled softly while following her. She led him outside on the verandah. He sat down on one of the comfortable garden chairs and pulled her on his lap.
"You're thinking about tomorrow, right?" he asked gently.
She nodded almost imperceptibly, her blank gaze fixed upon her wedding ring. "I'm really looking forward to seeing them all again. Sydney, Broots, Debbie, Ben, your parents and your sister Emily... They have become my - our - family. But don't you let Broots know the way I feel about him!" she threatened laughingly.
"Never", Jarod reassured her, laughing as well. "But I'm afraid he already knows."
"Yeah", she said, heaving a mock sigh. Then she looked at Jarod, and the sparkling had returned to her eyes. "I'm more than glad that Catherine's got so many people who love her and care for her. She will never even know a place named the Centre existed."
"Thanks to you." Jarod smiled and kissed her.
"Oh, I'd rather say that Broots, Sergej and Tommy are the ones we should thank. They have done most of the work. However, I'm sure we're all going to enjoy our get-together."
"If we manage to get up at a decent time", Jarod said, trying in vain to stifle a yawn.
"Catherine will wake us up early enough, my heart. But you're right - we should really try to get some sleep now."
Instead of answering right away, Jarod folded her in his arms.
"I love you, Marine", he said tenderly.
"And I love you", she answered, her voice sounding a bit sleepy. She blinked a few times, then directed a gaze at him that reflected her deepest emotions. "I'm unspeakably glad that you are here, love. You and Catherine, you are what's most important to me in life. I love you so much. For the first time since my mother died I've got a real family again."
"Marine", Jarod whispered, his voice trembling with emotion. "I'll always be there for you - both of you; I hope you know that. I couldn't live without you. You are everything to me. I love you", he repeated, simply because he felt she needed to hear it.
She kissed him, long and passionately. Then they got up and returned into the house. No matter what the future might hold in store for them - no one would be able to take away from them what they had finally found. Together they were walking through a life in freedom, connected by a love that had grown with them ever since they had been children - and that was growing deeper every day, until nothing would be able to stop it.
The end.
The story: Miss Parker has lost the love of her life - or has she?
My thanks go out to Cate - you've done a splendid job, and I never could have done this without your help!! BTW, all mistakes left in here are mine... ^_^
Insights
Part 6
by Miss Bit
Sydney's flat
Blue Cove, Delaware
03:18 p.m.
"So, what are you going to do now, Miss Parker?" Sydney asked gently. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, letting his gaze wander over the boxes and containers in his bedroom. Now that the Centre was no longer a threat to anyone there was no more reason for him to stay in Blue Cove.
Miss Parker, who was standing in front of the window, half turned. Her face was lit up by the sun, revealing to Sydney both the sorrow of the last weeks and the relief of the last few days. In addition to that there was this unmistakable glow in her eyes. She returned his gaze, shrugging her shoulders ever so slightly.
"I'll leave Blue Cove as well. There's nothing here to hold me back. The few things I've left from my mother I can take with me wherever I go."
"That sounds rather... definite."
"It's about time for me to consider my past finished. If I recall that correctly you have been telling me to do just that for some years now, Syd", she answered, smiling slightly.
"It's nice to see you finally listen to me, Miss Parker", he replied and got up from the bed. "Do you have any idea where you want to go yet?" he wanted to know, rummaging through one of the small containers.
"No, I haven't really thought about that yet", she admitted. "First I wanted to get this whole Centre mess behind me. You should never plan too far ahead."
Sydney nodded affirmatively, then he finally found what he'd been looking for.
"Ah, yes, here it is."
Satisfied, he looked at the key-ring in his hand.
"What's the key for?" Miss Parker asked, curious.
"That is... was my emergency plan. A place I could go to and hide from the Centre for a while. Since this won't be necessary anymore - and I decided to go abroad for some time - I thought that maybe you would like to go there."
Miss Parker stared at him, completely speechless.
"Shortly after Jacob and I began to work for the Centre we bought a house in Canada. It was Jacob who insisted we do it, and by now I'm quite sure that it was Catherine who gave him the idea. The house is very spacious and situated near Lake Dauphin. A little isolated perhaps..."
He trailed off and shrugged. Miss Parker walked over to him and hugged him.
"Thank you, Sydney", she murmured against his shoulder. Now that the Centre was destroyed none of them would have to worry about their financial situation, but Sydney's gesture moved her anyway. "This really means a lot to me."
"Oh, well, actually I only wanted to make sure that I'll know where to find you when I return from my travels", Sydney said with mock seriousness. Miss Parker made a step backwards and looked at him, mild reproach evident in her eyes, then her lips formed a warm smile.
"I expect you to visit us once you've returned", she said.
"I promise. Uhm, I know that it's really none of my business but... Will you go alone?"
"You're talking about the father of my child", she stated matter-of-factly, sighing softly. For a short moment there was a hurt expression on her face. Sydney was seized by worry, but the moment was over so fast that he almost believed he'd only imagined it.
"Yes. Look, it'll be really lonely up there. What if you need help?"
She gently touched his arm.
"Sydney, I'm glad to know that you care about my child and me, but be assured that I'll manage perfectly on my own. That's one of the more useful skills I acquired at the Centre."
Sydney realized that it was no use to try and convince her of his opinion. She could be unbelievably stubborn sometimes. He hadn't succeeded in persuading her to inform the father of her child about her pregnancy and he wouldn't be successful in this case, either. For some reason she believed that this was what's best for everyone involved, case closed.
"All right", he said, giving in to her. "But please do promise to take extra good care of yourself, okay?"
"Of course, Syd."
He left it at that, hoping that she was sensible enough to change her opinion sometime.
"And Syd?"
"Yes?"
"My name's Marine."
***
Sydney's flat
Blue Cove, Delaware
Two days later
06:08 p.m.
The last of Sydney's belongings had been safely stored away, and little was left that told of his life in this place. Sydney gazed at the sad remains of his furnishings. Like Miss Parker he didn't plan to ever return to Blue Cove. He'd been a prisoner here for too long.
In the afternoon he had taken Miss Parker to the airport where they had said their good-byes. He had spent the past two days at her house, helping her with packing and shipping the things she wanted to keep.
He was the last of them to leave this place. Broots and Debbie had left first, promising to contact them soon. They had all agreed to stay in touch with each other. In a few months, when things had calmed down, they would meet.
Sydney couldn't help but smile. He tried to imagine Broots' reaction to Miss Parker's child. Broots would definitely be very surprised - just like Sydney had been. But maybe all this had had to happen. She was so much like Catherine...
A soft tap on his door startled Sydney out of his musings. He rose to open the door.
"Jarod!"
"Hello, Sydney. Can I come in?"
"Yes, of course."
Jarod went past him, casting furtive glances around him.
"So you're leaving as well", Jarod stated the obvious.
"Yes, but only for a while. I can't stay here any longer."
"Understandable. When did you plan to tell me?"
"Jarod, I..."
"When, Sydney?"
Sydney heaved a sigh. He had dreaded this moment. He felt as if he were betraying Jarod, letting him down. The rational part of him knew that this was nonsense because Jarod could do very well on his own. And this part also told him that Jarod was wishing him all the best, that he understood Sydney's urge to leave this place. But still...
Undecided, Sydney looked at his former protégé. Jarod looked awful. He seemed to be jumpy and tired, was restlessly pacing the living room. Sydney frowned worriedly.
"Jarod, what's wrong?"
"Where is she, Syd? And don't tell me you don't know. I know she told you."
A faint sense of deja vu washed through Sydney - and suddenly he knew what this was about. Who this was about.
"You're talking about Miss Parker."
"Who else?"
Suddenly every bit of the puzzle fell into place. 'God, how on earth could I have ever been so blind?' Sydney asked himself. He slightly shook his head. If only he had guessed it a little earlier then he might have spared these two a lot of pain.
"She is in Canada. Jacob and I own a house there."
"Canada... Did she say why she went away?"
Sydney felt a wave of pity for Jarod but he decided to leave the explanations to Miss Parker - Marine, he corrected himself mentally.
"I suppose her reasons are very similar to mine. She probably just needed to bring some distance between her and this place so that she will have some peace to think about everything", Sydney answered evasively. He suddenly remembered the hurt expression he had seen on Marine's face. "Weren't there any signals for her wanting to leave?"
"God, Sydney, no. I have no idea why she went away without a word. She didn't even leave me a note or any other kind of explanation. Something must have happened..."
Sydney stepped up to him, putting an arm around his shoulders.
"Jarod, listen to me. She loves you. Very much, as far as I can tell. Follow her and talk to her - then everything will be all right again."
Something like hope was flashing up in Jarod's eyes, replacing some of his pain and confusion. "Do you really think so?"
"Yes", Sydney assured him firmly. "That's exactly what she wants, too. I'm absolutely sure about that."
Jarod leaned against a wall, clearly exhausted.
"I miss her so much", he whispered, closing his eyes for a moment. "Where will you go, Sydney? Won't I ever see you again either?"
"Jarod, look at me."
The pretender did as Sydney had asked him to. His eyes didn't reveal the wish to hurt Sydney, only the fear of losing everyone he loved.
"I'll leave the States for a while, travel across Europe maybe. But afterwards I'll return - to you and Marine. You two are like my own children; I could never leave you. I'd miss you way too much."
"Thank you, Sydney." Jarod walked over to him, hugging him briefly. "Thank you for everything." He made a few steps backwards, a sheepish smile on his face. "I'm really sorry for being so... aggressive when I came here."
"That's okay, Jarod. I can fully comprehend your feelings. Come, let's go to my car. There should be a map of Lake Dauphin in there. If not I think I'll have to try and remember the way to the house and describe it for you."
Jarod half-heartedly returned his grin, but followed him out. Sydney really hoped that Jarod and Marine would be able to settle things between them. It was painful for him to see them suffer like that. But if Jarod acted as sensibly as he used to everything would be in order when Sydney returned from Europe. And if not, Sydney would take matters in his own hands.
***
Home of the Stiller family
Hazen, North Dakota
03:56 p.m.
It was a cold day in the little suburb of Hazen. The wind was freshening up as Miss Parker got out of her car. This was the only stop she was going to make on her journey, and she was only doing it because it meant a lot to her personally. And it would probably mean even more to the parents of Ruth Stiller.
Before coming to the Stillers' house she had gone to a small graveyard only a few blocks away to visit Ruth's grave. She had simply stood there for a long time, thinking about the life Ruth had never been able to lead. Since Miss Parker had shared part of Ruth's memory she could at least imagine what her wishes and hopes might have been. Hopes that had never been fulfilled.
Carefully she opened the garden gate, slowly walking up to the well cared-for house. A typical terraced house, with a terrible story behind its facade. Miss Parker had made some inquiries about the family. Apart from Ruth the Stillers also had a son who was now living somewhere in California.
She had thought about coming here for a long time. Her coming here would bring up matters that had long since been regarded finished and would probably break open long-healed wounds. But she thought that Ruth's parents had every right to learn the truth. Miss Parker was sure that Ruth would have wanted it that way.
After a moment's hesitation she rang the doorbell. Shortly afterwards she could hear the sound of steps inside and then the door was opened. An elderly woman stood before her. The expression on her face was friendly but couldn't completely hide the traces of past suffering. This had to be Ruth's mother.
"Mrs. Stiller?" Miss Parker inquired gently. The woman tilted her head slightly to the side.
"Yes. How can I help you?"
Miss Parker smiled. For a split second, part of her remembered scenes of a childhood that wasn't her own. This woman had been a loving mother.
"My name's Marine Parker. You don't know me, but if you don't mind too much I'd like to talk to you about your daughter Ruth."
A mixture of surprise and a hint of pain crossed Mrs. Stiller's face. She thought for a moment, then she nodded and made a step to the side. "Please come in."
Miss Parker followed her inside. Mrs. Stiller led her into the living room and invited her to have a seat. Her eyes were attentively watching Miss Parker, and at the same time revealed her fear of what Miss Parker might have to say.
"You're too young - you couldn't have known her personally", Mrs. Stiller stated.
"That's true", Miss Parker admitted immediately. "Still I have some information about her." She leaned forward, filled by a compassion that surprised her. "Mrs. Stiller, I lost my mother when I was very young. I can comprehend your pain or at least part of it. As far as I know your daughter has been a wonderful young woman who lost her future by making a terrible mistake. I'm very sorry for making you live through it again but there is something about your daughter I thought you should know."
Ruth's mother looked at her for a long time, without saying a word. She seemed to consider what to think of Miss Parker. Miss Parker realized with some surprise that it was important to her what Mrs. Stiller thought of her.
"Ruth has been dead for a long time now. What could be so important for you to make this long journey just to tell me about it?"
"Until recently I have been working for an organization that - among other things - was occupied with documenting the past. While doing my job I found something out about your daughter. Mrs. Stiller, your daughter was no murderer. She might have made a mistake - but she has never killed anyone."
Mrs. Stiller leaned back in her armchair. "I knew it", she whispered. "I've always known it." There were justified hope and pride in her dead daughter audible in her voice. "You only came to tell me that?" she then asked.
Miss Parker nodded. "Yes. As I've already told you - I thought you should know. I'm sorry if I wasted your time..."
The older woman smiled with warmth. "No, Miss Parker, not at all. Quite the contrary. I don't know many people who would have gone to so much trouble just to try and make up for something that happened such a long time ago. Thank you very much."
"You really don't need to thank me, Mrs. Stiller. Ruth's fate really touched me. I didn't want those who loved her to have a wrong image of her."
"I have never doubted the innocence of my daughter - still, it's good to have certainty."
Miss Parker rose. "It's been a pleasure to meet you."
"The pleasure's mine, Miss Parker." Mrs. Stiller took her hand and squeezed it firmly. "Thank you", she repeated, her voice filled with warmth. Her visitor smiled slightly.
"You're welcome", she replied simply. Now she was glad that she had come. Ruth's mother brought her to the door.
"Good-bye, Miss Parker", Mrs. Stiller said with a gentle smile. Miss Parker returned the smile, gently squeezing Mrs. Stiller's hand.
"Good-bye, Mrs. Stiller."
After a last long look Miss Parker turned and went back to her car. Now there was nothing left standing between her and her new life in Canada. For a split second, she regretted this fact, but then her determination returned. A new life was lying in front of her even if it wasn't quite what she had wanted for herself.
****
Sydney's house
Lake Dauphin, Canada
07:37 p.m.
Dusk was falling as Miss Parker drove the last miles to her new home. Sydney had been right; the house was really isolated. The last house she had driven past lay by now three miles behind her.
Eventually her house appeared behind a bend in the road. She cast a glance through the trees but it was already too dark to have a decent look at the house. Miss Parker drove up to the house, pulled to the side and turned off the engine. She left the headlights on for a moment longer so that she could at least get a short impression of her new home.
Like most of the other houses in the area it was made of wood. With its two floors it looked really spacious from the outside. So she would at least have enough space. 'But no one to share it with', she thought with a sudden surge of bitterness. Angrily she pushed the thought away. After all she had come here to have some time on her own.
She switched the headlights off and reached for the bag that was standing on the passenger seat. The rest of her things could remain in the car until the morning. Miss Parker got out of the car and walked the few yards to the house. After a few moments of rummaging through her bag she found the key that Sydney had given her. She unlocked the door, and after another few seconds she had found the light switch. Skeptical, she pressed it.
Much to her surprise, the light did go on. "Oh, good", Miss Parker murmured contentedly. Curious, she looked around. The house was in a remarkably good state; the furniture had been covered with cloths and there was hardly any dust to be seen. Miss Parker recalled Sydney telling her that there had been someone looking after the house, just in case he needed to move in quickly.
She left her bag standing in the living room to have a look at the rest of the house. First, she went into the kitchen which was equally as clean as the living room. When she opened some of the cupboards she even found food supplies. It really seemed as if she could do very well here.
Her gaze swept through the room, came to rest on the sink. Now, if the water was running as well she would be satisfied. She opened the faucet and made a face as there was only a gurgling sound coming from the depth of the sink, but shortly afterwards the water started to run into the sink, looking clear enough to her. Relieved, she turned the water off.
Next, she went to the upper floor to continue her inspection round. She found two bedrooms, a spacious bathroom and a kind of atelier that gave her an enthusiastic feeling about the house. Miss Parker returned into the living room thinking that she liked this house better with every minute that passed. She locked the door, took her bag with her and went back upstairs. There she took a minute to decide which bedroom she should choose and opted for the bigger one. Not only did the large bed in it look very comfortable, it was also closer to the bathroom.
Miss Parker smiled about herself. Actually, she wasn't feeling all that bad - as long as she managed not to think of the end of the Centre or Jarod. Her smile faded. It would probably take her while to accomplish that.
Absently, she unpacked her things and went into the bathroom. A nice hot bath was all she wanted right now.
****
Sydney's house
Lake Dauphin, Canada
The next day
10:12 a.m.
A gentle breeze was rocking the treetops high above the ground. Miss Parker got out of her car and looked up to the sky. The sun had driven the last clouds away and was now shining with full strength. It was really astonishing how calm and peaceful everything seemed, Miss Parker mused. An elementary satisfaction tentatively began to fill her.
She took her purchases out of the trunk and carried them into the house. The last night had been short for her although she had gone to sleep early. About four o'clock she had woken up from a nightmare, bathed in sweat, and had been unable to go back to sleep. So she had got up at five - also because her morning sickness had driven her out of bed.
In spite of the long journey and lack of sleep she was full of energy which she had used to do what little cleaning the house had required. By the time the sun had risen she had been finished with the house. She had then fetched the rest of her things from the car. The few larger things she had decided to take with her wouldn't arrive before the end of the week.
After she had put away her things she had tried to find some coffee but had soon given up and had made do with tea. Next, she had driven into the small town that was about fifteen minutes away from her house.
She smiled as she remembered her little shopping tour. In this neighborhood people knew each other so that a new face naturally got a lot of attention. Miss Parker had already made a few acquaintances in the town, and she was quite sure that she would get a visit or two during the next days. Just a few months ago she would have surely thought her neighbors to be obtrusive but now she only grinned about the silent scrutiny she had encountered. In a few more weeks, once her pregnancy had become visible, people would probably get even more... ready to help.
Miss Parker put her purchases away, thinking about what she could do next. The living room and the kitchen were all clean, so maybe she should take care of the upper level. Some careful questions in the town had made it clear that she would have no problem finding someone who would take care of those jobs around the house that she couldn't do on her own. And Mr. Morris, who owned the grocery store, had assured her that she could always turn to him if there was anything wrong with the house.
She went into the living room, thoughtfully staring at her bed. Hopefully, her sleep problems wouldn't last too long. There were of course ways to do something about that but most of them held disadvantages for her child. Besides she had never thought much of sleeping drugs. Maybe she should try and stay awake until she was too tired for having nightmares...
Lost in thought, she went to one of the large windows which caught the first rays of the morning sun. The fact that this bedroom had bay windows had been another reason for her to choose it above the other one. She sat down, gazing outside on a landscape that was yet strange to her. To her right there was mostly woods; a lot of the trees looked as though they were at least an eternity old. On the left side she could see the shimmering blue waters of the lake which she had only seen while driving past.
Miss Parker got up again and went back downstairs. The weather was far too good to waste her time sitting in the house all day. She went through the small dining-room next to the kitchen to get out on the terrace. It was a large terrace that lead to a verandah on both the left and the right side so that the house was framed on three sides. The view from the terrace was marvelous; you could see a large part of the lake. For a long while Miss Parker simply leaned against the railing, gazing at the calm blue water. 'Almost like home', she mused, but then shook her head about herself. This was her home now. Hers and that of her daughter. She lovingly stroked her belly. Just a few more months and she would be a mother... The thought was still new to her; but at the same time it filled her with a familiar warmth. Whenever she had thought about her future, children had played no role in it but now it was already impossible for her to imagine a future without her daughter. 'A scant few days ago a life without Jarod in it was just as unimaginable', she thought bitterly. Pain accompanied the thought. She shut her eyes for a moment, trying to think of something else. But then she decided that she could no longer run away from the thought. She had to deal with it.
Miss Parker cast a last look at the lake before she went back inside. A walk would help her to clear her mind and focus her thoughts, so that she could think about it peacefully.
***
It was already late in the afternoon when Miss Parker returned from her walk. Though she hadn't lost her way she had underestimated the distance she had walked while heading away from the house. The sun was slowly setting as Miss Parker unlocked the door and entered her house.
After taking off her jacket Miss Parker went into the kitchen to eat something. She didn't really want to but regular meals were important for the well-being of her child. Her thoughts were still revolving around her mother for she was the person she had mainly thought about during her walk. Her mother had planned to leave the father of her child to live alone with her daughter as well. During the last weeks Miss Parker had often wondered how much different her life would have been if her mother had really taken her to Europe. She knew that these reflections led her nowhere but she simply couldn't help it.
Absentmindedly, she put her plate in the sink; she would clean it later. She went upstairs into her bedroom and pulled a small box from under her bed. It contained everything she had left from her mother. Miss Parker pulled an album and an old, worn teddy bear out of the box, then pushed it back under the bed. Then she went back downstairs and made herself comfortable in the living room. Though it wasn't really cold she made a fire in the fireplace, just for the comforting sight and sound of it. There was enough chopped wood and lighter as well so that it didn't take her long to get the fire started.
Afterwards she settled down on the couch. She took the album from the couch table, opening it almost reverently. It was her baby book; her mother had continued it even when Miss Parker had grown out of the baby age. Miss Parker was quite sure that her father didn't even know this book existed - and even if he knew it would probably mean nothing to him.
Catherine Parker had recorded every single important moment in Miss Parker's life - and in Catherine's opinion there had been a lot of them. Her birth, birthdays, her first word, her first steps and so many more - everything had been put down lovingly. This book was the most precious memento she had of her mother. Jarod had sent it to her, right after she had learned of her father's engagement. Jarod...
She couldn't hinder herself from thinking about him. He was too much a part of her life, of her, for that. God, she missed him so much. Damn, she didn't even have the memories of happier times with him to comfort her! There was always the nagging doubt, the question if he had been lying to her all the time, if he had been thinking about another woman when he had been with her. Miss Parker reached for the teddy bear, hugging it tightly to herself. When she had been a child it had often comforted her.
Had it really been right to simply go away, without talking to Jarod first? Maybe there was a simple explanation for everything... Now she would never know.
Tears were streaming down her face. She had lost so much, and Jarod had been the only one who had really understood her, who had always been there for her. How could he have done this to her? All she had left of him now was her child. As if on their own volition her hands softly glided down to her stomach.
"I'm sorry for being so sad, little one", she whispered. "But it's hurting so much - I miss your father so much. God, I love him so much..." Her voice broke. The tears didn't bring her any comfort - not yet. But hopefully they would soon.
***
Lake Dauphin, Canada
07:51 p.m.
It was almost completely dark as Jarod was driving through the woods. Only a small part of his attention was focused on the road before him. His thoughts were incessantly revolving around his imminent encounter with Marine. Fear and insecurity were holding him in a tight grip. He still didn't understand why she had gone away. Jarod knew that Sydney hadn't told him everything he knew. But no matter how much Jarod had asked him, his old mentor had remained silent.
The house came in sight. Jarod could see light filtering through the trees. Now was his last chance to return - but that wasn't what he wanted at all. All he wanted was to see her again and find out what was standing between them. The pain he was feeling was different from anything else he had ever felt. Being separated from Marine hurt him almost physically.
During the last nights he had barely slept. He had incessantly wondered what he might have done wrong. But he had shrunk back from using his last, most powerful means: his pretender talents.
Jarod reached the house. Almost numbly he turned off the engine but stayed seated in the now dark car. Now that he was here - so very close to her - his insecurity intensified but so did his wish to see her. He got out of the car and walked to the door. Nervously he searched for the key Sydney had given him. Nothing was hindering him now to simply walk in to her.
His gaze wandered to the window next to the door. He could see her. She was sitting on a couch, her head lowered, a teddy bear in her arm. Marine. His heart skipped a beat or two.
"Marine", he whispered.
His insecurity was replaced by determination as Jarod pulled out the key to unlock the door.
***
Sydney's house
Lake Dauphin, Canada
08:03 p.m.
The fire in the fireplace was crackling softly. Miss Parker was still sitting on the couch. Her tears had ceased; the pain had not. Maybe she should go to bed but somehow the thought of the large, empty bed held no attraction for her.
A sound from the front door startled her. Someone was out there. And judging from what she could hear, this someone had a key to the house. Had Sydney followed her?
For a moment she wondered if she should get her gun from upstairs but then thought better of it. Nobody knew she was here, and she didn't need a gun to deal with a simple burglar. She listened intently. Whoever her visitor might be hesitated a moment before he slowly opened the door. Miss Parker held her breath and tensed her muscles.
The door was gradually opened. At first there was only a tiny crack, then, finally, Miss Parker was able to catch a glimpse of her unexpected visitor. It only took her a split second to identify him. Jarod. Her thoughts ran wild and her anyhow shaken emotional world was threatening to collapse.
Jarod stood in the doorway, merely staring at her. The look in his eyes told her everything she needed to know. Most of all she recognized helplessness and in addition to that... fear?
She felt paralyzed. Relief threatened to wash every other emotion in her away. Jarod had followed her. He was here to see her.
"Marine?"
His voice was soft, betraying his insecurity. An eternity seemed to pass before Miss Parker found the strength to answer him. Adamantly, she reminded herself of the envelope she had found and what it had to mean. No matter how hard she tried - she couldn't convince herself that he was here because he loved her, because he had missed her as much as she had missed him.
"Hello, Jarod", she got out softly. 'He doesn't know I found out', she suddenly thought. She shut her eyes for a short moment. Why was everything feeling so wrong suddenly? When she reopened her eyes she noticed that Jarod hadn't moved. His gaze was still resting on her, searching, almost pleading. Her compassion was roused, but she ignored it. Now she had the opportunity to detach herself from him. The fact that she didn't really want to do it only played a minor role.
"Why are you here?" she asked calmly though there was an emotional storm raging in her. Stunned, he kept staring at her.
"Why?" he asked in an incredulous tone. It was obvious that he thought her question to be absurd. He looked tired, tired and exhausted, Miss Parker noticed, worried. And there was pain evident in his dark eyes. Could it be that he...
"Sydney told me where you were", he explained, watching her expectantly. Her heart sank; her tentative joy of seeing him again was crushed. Now she knew why he was here. Sydney had betrayed her. He had told Jarod about the child and that was the only reason why Jarod had followed her all the way to Canada. All her hopes dissolved. She felt tears burning in her eyes and forced them back, using every ounce of her willpower.
"I see", she said flatly. It was time to settle things between them. "You mustn't feel obliged to me", she continued, astonishingly calm. "You're free, Jarod; you can spend your life wherever you want to - with whomever you want to."
Jarod stared at her, uncomprehending. Several emotions were playing across his face, reflecting his inner conflict.
"Damnit, Marine, what the hell is wrong?" he suddenly burst out. It was only now that he moved away from the door, making two steps in her direction. Everything about him told her how helpless he was feeling. The look in his eyes, his posture, the way he clenched his fists only to relax them a few seconds later. Incredulous, she realized that he, too, was on the verge of tears. Still she refused to believe what her heart had already recognized as the truth.
"I love you, Jarod", she whispered. "But I'd never ask of you to stay with us. You should be with the woman you love."
He took a few wavering breaths. "But I am right now, Marine! Please, tell me what's wrong. If it's something I've done..." His voice was but a hoarse whisper, but his words were ringing in her head, as loud as thunder.
"But... But what about Nia?" she heard herself ask. She seemed to be far away and much too close at the same time. Something hindered her from seeing everything clearly.
The confusion evident in Jarod's eyes intensified. He seemed to have a hard time controlling himself. Jarod shut his eyes ever so briefly, slightly shaking his head. "Are you trying to say that this has something to do with Nia?" he wanted to know, only superficially calm.
For the first time since he had arrived Miss Parker felt anger rise in her. How dare he ask that? Why else should she have gone away if not to release him from his obligations to her? Unable to speak, she merely nodded.
"Marine..."
He turned and walked to the door. Panic seized her.
"Jarod!" She couldn't let him go just like that. Now she realized that it was impossible - she needed him.
Jarod closed the door without turning to her. He leaned against the cool wood for a moment. When he turned to face her, dawning realization was evident in his eyes, combined with relief. He walked over to her, squatted down in front of her and took her hands in his own.
"Marine", he began, his voice soft and very gentle, "I love you with all my heart and all my soul. Since the first time I met you, you've got a very special place in my heart. A future without you I can't imagine. I don't know what I can do to dispel your doubts about my love for you - but I want to do it, more than anything else. Nia is no competition for you; she's never been. I met her in a time when my life seemed empty and joyless to me. She's been a good friend and a great comfort to me - and nothing more. Nia was there for me when I needed comfort and support, but she never took your place. Nobody could ever do that. My love belongs to you, and only you. I love you, Marine. And if I hurt you, then please forgive me because I didn't mean to. I couldn't ever knowingly hurt you."
His words erased every doubt, every suspicion from her heart, let her see that she had made a mistake. The relief she felt was almost painful in its intensity. Still there was one thing left she had to be sure of.
"What about the letter?" she asked almost fearfully. Confused, he looked at her, an almost desperate expression on his face, but then his face lit up.
"The letter? You found the letter? And you thought that I..." His relief was almost palpable. "Oh god, love, I wanted to tell you but I simply forgot about it! If only I had guessed..." Jarod laughed, this way venting his pent-up emotions. Tenderly his fingers stroked hers. "Nia got married, more than a month ago. Shortly after you and I finally got together I called her, simply because I wanted to know how she was doing. I planned to tell you but I wasn't too sure how you would react so I thought I'd wait a little bit longer. The letter you found... there's nothing in it but my best wishes for Nia's future."
Miss Parker felt more relieved than ever before in her life. Wordlessly, she freed her hands from his, tenderly putting them to both sides of his face. She drew him to her, holding him tight, reveling in his presence.
"I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry", she whispered, her voice trembling with emotion. Jarod gently shook his head.
"Don't be", he replied softly. "But please, promise me that you'll talk to me whenever you feel there's something wrong. You know you can trust me. Whatever you are feeling, I want to know about it, share it with you, help you however I can."
"I promise." She kissed him lightly on the head. "I love you so much, Jarod. Without you, I'm not whole. I need you. Right now I wish I'd never have to let go of you again."
"You don't have to", he answered. For a long while they just stood holding each other. None of them was ready to give up their newly won closeness so soon. Then, all of a sudden, Miss Parker remembered something. Reluctantly, she stepped away from Jarod who looked at her questioningly.
"Sydney didn't tell you anything? About us, I mean?"
He looked at her, confusion evident in his eyes. "About us? No." Slight worry flashed up in his eyes. This time it was her who laughed with relief.
"Jarod, this 'us' doesn't mean you and me. Oh, I've been such a fool! I was afraid to tell you." She continued very gently. "I'm talking about another 'us'."
Excited, she watched him. At first she saw understanding dawning in his eyes, followed by vague hope. He stared at her unbelievingly. She nodded.
"I'm pregnant, Jarod. We're going to be parents soon. I'm expecting your child - our child."
Wild joy erased every trace of pain from his face.
"Marine!"
He pulled her up with him, hugging her elatedly, then letting go of her to gently cup her face in his hands and look deeply into her eyes.
"Our child", he whispered, overjoyed. Then his face clouded for a brief moment. "Why on earth were you afraid to tell me? God, there is nothing I could want more than starting a family with you!"
Miss Parker smiled sheepishly. "Like I've said - I was a fool. Blame it on the hormones", she said, shrugging slightly. "You're going to see more of them during my pregnancy, I'd say", she warned mockingly.
"I'm looking forward to it", he assured her. She laughed softly.
"Yeah, that's what you're saying now! Do you want to know the baby's sex?"
Baffled, he looked at her, merely able to nod.
"We will have a daughter", she informed him. His reaction exceeded all her expectations.
"A daughter", he repeated dreamily. "We're gonna have a little girl!" His gaze came to a rest on her stomach. Very gently he put one of his hands on it. "A little daughter..."
"It's way too early to feel any movements", she teased him gently. When he looked up at her the beaming smile in his eyes took her breath away. A single tear ran down his cheek. Carefully, she wiped it away.
"I love you, Marine. I love you both."
He drew her to him, kissing her gently. But soon the kiss changed, became longing and passionate. They reassured each other of their love, without using a single word, leaving the pain of the past behind them.
***
Sydney's house
Lake Dauphin, Canada
The next day
09:09 a.m.
Jarod opened his eyes, not completely sure what to expect. The events of the last day and night replayed in his mind. He smiled, fully opening his eyes. Marine.
She was lying in his arms, fast asleep. Carefully, he drew her even closer to him. Finally. Having her so close to him had been something he'd sorely missed. He watched her lovingly, feeling his heartbeat quicken. No matter what the future would bring he wouldn't allow that they were separated like that ever again.
Marine, the mother of his child, his daughter. Excitement accompanied this thought. He would be a father soon, and together with the woman he loved more than life itself he would raise their child. Not only would their daughter have a loving home, she would also have everything else Marine and he had missed in their own childhood. A daughter... Jarod hoped that she was going to resemble her mother, that she would be just as loveable and uncompromising as Marine.
He tenderly kissed her forehead. She stirred slightly, her lips forming a gentle smile, but she didn't wake up. During the last days Jarod had given much thought to their relationship, but it had been only yesterday that he had realized that there was much more to it than just being in love. A partnership also meant work. They shared a deep understanding that would enable them to win back the trust they had lost during the past years. He smiled. There would also be bad times, of course - but he was looking forward to them as well as long as he had Marine by his side.
"You're brooding again", he suddenly heard a soft murmur. Marine's eyes were still closed but she was smiling knowingly.
"No", he contradicted, "I've only made some plans for our future." His voice became soft. "Did you sleep you well?" Her smile broadened.
"Better than ever", she replied gently. "And you?"
"I didn't sleep at all", he admitted somewhat sheepishly. She sat up, looking at him with some surprise. He grinned reassuringly. "Oh, well, maybe a bit", he continued, his expression sobering. "I simply couldn't stop watching you", he said, shrugging. The expression on Marine's face changed, now radiating a deep warmth.
"Jarod..." The way she whispered his name as an endearment touched something deep inside of him. She moved closer to him, tenderly kissing him on the lips. He was about to return the kiss, slowly pulling her closer, when she suddenly broke free from his arms.
"I'm sorry", was all she said before she fled from the bed. For a moment he merely stared after her, utterly confused. Then he got up to follow her, stopping in front of the bathroom door.
"Marine?"
Jarod stared at the closed door, frowning worriedly for the sounds he heard were indicating that she was being sick. He didn't get any answer, but a few minutes later she came back out, a faint smile on her lips.
"Dr. Simmerson said the morning sickness would probably ease off after the first three months", she explained. "I, for my part, can hardly await it."
"Are you all right?" Jarod wanted to know, still worried about her. Marine chuckled softly.
"Sure! Billions of other women before me have gone through it as well - and survived. Don't you worry, I'll do just fine. How about some breakfast now?"
The sudden change of subject stunning him, Jarod was merely able to stare at her. She had to bite back her laughter as he finally nodded, still a bit dumbfounded. True, he had heard a few remarks about the antics of pregnant women, but being confronted with them personally was quite a remarkable experience. Especially since the pregnant woman he'd have to deal with was Marine Parker.
"Okay", he got out, trying to overcome his insecurity about the situation. Marine looked at him for a long time, then she leaned in to him, lightly kissing him on the cheek. Then she was on her way to the kitchen.
"Simply regard it as a challenge", she advised, amusement clearly audible in her voice. He gazed after her for some seconds, then a slow grin began to spread on his face as he followed her downstairs. Apparently he was about to have a very interesting time.
****
Sydney's house
Lake Dauphin, Canada
04:29 p.m.
Miss Parker sipped at her tea, wistfully staring at the tea pot that was still half full. Dr. Simmerson had recommended this special blend to her, saying that it would help against her morning sickness. There had been little success yet, though.
She left the kitchen, crossing the dining-room to get out on the terrace. Jarod was sitting there, gazing at the lake. When he heard her, he half-turned and smiled warmly.
"Hey", he greeted her softly.
"Would you rather be left alone?" she asked instead of a greeting, slowly walking around him to sit down next to him. He shook his head in immediate refusal. Miss Parker smiled knowingly.
"Of course not", he replied. She got down next to him on the small wooden bench, and he put his arm around her shoulders. "It's beautiful out here."
"Mhm", she agreed, lending her voice an absent tone. Jarod looked at her questioningly. "Now you finally have the chance to find your family", she continued. "The Centre will no longer get in your way, nor does it pose a threat anymore."
Jarod nodded. "I've already started to search for them but after all that happened it will be quite difficult to get in touch with them." There were both regret and determination audible in his voice.
"I don't think it will be as difficult as you seem to believe", Miss Parker said enigmatically. When she saw Jarod's bewildered expression she couldn't help but feel pity for him and decided to let him in on her secret. This matter was way too important to tease him with it. "This was in the mail this morning." She pulled out an envelope that was addressed to both of them and handed it over to Jarod. He took it from her, eyeing it curiously.
"A letter from Sydney?"
"No. It's from Charles."
Surprised at her mentioning his father he looked at her. "He knows we're here?"
"Obviously, yes. You're not the only in your family who's got a knack for keeping informed. Go on, read it", she asked him impatiently. "It's good news."
She watched his face while he was reading, thinking back to her own reaction. Charles really was well-informed. As soon as he had got wind of their imminent campaign against the Centre he had contacted his family. Jarod's parents and his sister were already reunited, impatiently waiting to see Jarod again. Now that the Centre was no longer a threat to anyone there was nothing that stood against a meeting.
Miss Parker shared the joy she saw in Jarod's dark eyes when he had reached the end of the letter. Stunned, he shook his head.
"I... can hardly believe it", he managed to get out.
"Believe it. It'll be only a few more days until you'll see your family again." She lovingly tousled his short hair. "Then you'll fully understand who you are and where you come from."
He nodded absently, looking back down on the letter he was holding in his hand. "How come he knows about all this?" he then asked, looking at her. "I mean, he even knows about you and me."
Miss Parker shrugged. "He knows a lot about people. And as far as we're concerned - I think he knew about us long before either one of us did."
Jarod thought about her words. Eventually a slow smile spread on his lips. "But I bet he doesn't know yet that he's going to be a grandfather."
She returned his smile. "No, he definitely doesn't know. I can hardly wait to see his face when we tell him!"
"Yeah, me too", Jarod agreed. He looked as though he had suddenly remembered something. "Please wait a moment, okay? Just stay right here. I'll be back in a second!" Without waiting for her answer he jumped up and went into the house. Miss Parker gazed after him, mildly surprised. What was he up to now? Well, she would surely see in a minute or two.
She leant back, gazing at the calm waters of Lake Dauphin, letting her thoughts drift. During the last weeks not only had her life changed fundamentally - she herself had become a new person. There was a lot she had lost but that paled in comparison to all the things she had gained and achieved. Jarod was with her now, loving her with a fierceness that almost frightened her a bit. But with every day that went by it was easier for her to let him get closer to her, to open up her self to him. And their love for each other seemed to grow on and on, deepening in the process - which was something she was more than grateful for. And then there was their daughter...
Miss Parker thought of her own mother, wondering if she could be as good a mother to her daughter as Catherine had been. Even now she was feeling an overwhelming love for her unborn child and she was determined to be the best mother she possibly could be. And even though her new role was frightening her a great deal at times, she was sure that she would manage with Jarod by her side. He would be a splendid father. She smiled when she tried to imagine it. Yes, he would be an awesome father.
There was really a lot she should be grateful for. The Centre was almost completely destroyed; the few remaining parts weren't posing any threat anymore. For the first time ever since her mother had died Miss Parker was really free. No one was trying to make any decisions about her life. The future she was looking forward to was the one she had chosen for herself. And this future might even contain a new family she could feel happy with - if Jarod's family was ready to accept her...
"Who's brooding now?" Jarod suddenly breathed into her ear. She blinked, returning to the present. Jarod was standing next to the bench, an unreadable expression in his eyes. One of his hands was hidden behind his back, the other reaching out to her. When she took it, he pulled her up, leading her to the railing of the terrace.
"Jarod, what's up?" she wanted to know, but he only smiled, gazing deeply into her eyes. For a long while she just returned his gaze, getting lost in his wonderful dark eyes, exploring the depths of his warm gaze.
"I love you, Marine", he said eventually, in a tone that filled her with an intense warmth. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you - every single day, every hour of it. You're the most important person in my life and I've thought a lot about how I could prove it to you."
"You don't have to prove anything to me", she began, but he interrupted her gently.
"I know, but I want to. There's something I want you to have... something I want to ask you..."
All of a sudden, he became a helpless little boy again. She looked at him with big eyes, not completely sure what he was up to. He smiled a bit awkwardly and finally pulled his hand from behind his back. Miss Parker looked down on his hand, and an idea began to form in the back of her mind. A small box was resting in his hand. Jarod fumbled with it for a few moments, then he had it open. "You surely remember how I sent you your mother's engagement ring. This is", he said, indicating the now open box, "my mother's engagement ring."
Completely speechless, she stared at the ring in his hand. It was a simple ring with a small diamond but in her eyes it was the most beautiful ring she'd ever seen. "Where... where did you get it from?" she asked, astonished. She looked at him, tears shimmering in her eyes, but she didn't even notice. Miss Parker was way too happy.
"It was in the envelope you brought with you from England. My mother gave it to my father when he had to leave her all those years ago - as a memento. I believe you were right. My father really knew all about us before we did."
Jarod looked at her with so much love in his eyes that she believed her heart would stop beating any second now. "Our daughter will have a loving family - no matter what your answer will be. But it would make me unspeakably happy if you said yes. Marine, will you marry me?"
As he looked at her, waiting for her answer, he didn't even dare to breathe. Miss Parker was filled with so intense a joy she had to close her eyes for a moment. Never before in her whole life had she ever felt as happy as in this moment. She opened her eyes again, returning Jarod's gaze, gently cupping his face in her hands.
"I love you, Jarod. More than I could ever say. Except for my mother no one has ever been as close to me as you are - and no one could ever understand me the way you do. Not only are you a part of my life, you are a part of me. Without you I wouldn't be whole. Yes, Jarod, I will - there's nothing I want more."
"Marine..."
He folded her in his arms and kissed her passionately, almost fiercely, making any words unnecessary.
***
Epilogue
Sydney's house
Lake Dauphin, Canada
Ten months later
Jarod stood before the crib he had built six months ago. His gaze was full of awe as he looked at the little girl who was sleeping soundly in the wooden cradle. Catherine, his little daughter, who resembled her mother so very much.
"Do you plan to stand here all night?" Marine suddenly whispered into his ear, her voice clearly amused. She stepped up to him from behind, putting her arms around his waist. He laid his hands on hers as he answered her question.
"I simply had to look at her again", he explained softly so he wouldn't rouse their daughter. Marine made two steps to stand next to him, gazing at Catherine as well.
"I know what you mean. It's like a miracle. Only now I can understand how my mother must have felt."
Jarod pulled her closer to him, kissing her on the forehead. Ever since their daughter had been born there had hardly been this sad undertone in her voice whenever she was speaking of her mother. But Jarod knew how much it hurt Marine that Catherine Parker had never known her granddaughter.
"She's got your eyes, did you notice?" he said in order to distract her. She looked at him, an amused expression on her face.
"Jarod, all babies have blue eyes."
"But not this special blue", he contradicted. "Besides, she's past the age when the color of the eyes still changes."
Marine gazed pensively at the crib, a faint smile playing about her lips. When she looked back at him, her eyes were sparkling.
"You know, I wouldn't mind having a son sometime soon...", her smile deepened, "who might have your eyes."
Her words filled him with a warmth that was inseparably connected to her presence.
"That sounds marvelous", he murmured, gazing deeply into her eyes. She folded her hands around his neck, pulling him closer to her, kissing him tenderly. After a while she stepped back before he got the chance to return the favor.
"I've talked to Ben", Marine said so suddenly that Jarod raised his eyebrows inquisitively. "Did you know that he had a twin brother? He died when Ben was only three years old. So, if he really is my father..."
Jarod knew what she was about to say. In that case their chances of having twins as well were quite good. He smiled.
"Maybe I should think about building a second crib..."
"Sounds like a good idea to me. And now... how about going back to bed?"
He leaned in to her, his lips brushing against her ear.
"That sounds like another good idea", he whispered.
They remained standing before the crib for a few more moments, gazing at their sleeping daughter. Then they left the room. Automatically, Jarod took the way to their bedroom but Marine took his hand in hers and pulled him with her.
"I thought we were going back to bed?"
"I've changed my mind. It's such a beautiful night."
Jarod chuckled softly while following her. She led him outside on the verandah. He sat down on one of the comfortable garden chairs and pulled her on his lap.
"You're thinking about tomorrow, right?" he asked gently.
She nodded almost imperceptibly, her blank gaze fixed upon her wedding ring. "I'm really looking forward to seeing them all again. Sydney, Broots, Debbie, Ben, your parents and your sister Emily... They have become my - our - family. But don't you let Broots know the way I feel about him!" she threatened laughingly.
"Never", Jarod reassured her, laughing as well. "But I'm afraid he already knows."
"Yeah", she said, heaving a mock sigh. Then she looked at Jarod, and the sparkling had returned to her eyes. "I'm more than glad that Catherine's got so many people who love her and care for her. She will never even know a place named the Centre existed."
"Thanks to you." Jarod smiled and kissed her.
"Oh, I'd rather say that Broots, Sergej and Tommy are the ones we should thank. They have done most of the work. However, I'm sure we're all going to enjoy our get-together."
"If we manage to get up at a decent time", Jarod said, trying in vain to stifle a yawn.
"Catherine will wake us up early enough, my heart. But you're right - we should really try to get some sleep now."
Instead of answering right away, Jarod folded her in his arms.
"I love you, Marine", he said tenderly.
"And I love you", she answered, her voice sounding a bit sleepy. She blinked a few times, then directed a gaze at him that reflected her deepest emotions. "I'm unspeakably glad that you are here, love. You and Catherine, you are what's most important to me in life. I love you so much. For the first time since my mother died I've got a real family again."
"Marine", Jarod whispered, his voice trembling with emotion. "I'll always be there for you - both of you; I hope you know that. I couldn't live without you. You are everything to me. I love you", he repeated, simply because he felt she needed to hear it.
She kissed him, long and passionately. Then they got up and returned into the house. No matter what the future might hold in store for them - no one would be able to take away from them what they had finally found. Together they were walking through a life in freedom, connected by a love that had grown with them ever since they had been children - and that was growing deeper every day, until nothing would be able to stop it.
The end.
