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Part 48
By jojarod50 November 11, ¡¥03
Disclaimers - -for full explanation see previous parts
before the last eight or nine. I don¡¦t own them - - the ¡§powers that
be¡¨ refuse to use them. Here¡¦s to the best show that I¡¦ve ever had
the privilege of watching. ļ
St. Fransais Hospital - - Yellow Bird Island
Day 2 afternoon
Room 502
3:45 PM
Jarod stared at the door as it slowly closed, relieved that his
session with Dr. Forums was over. He definitely liked the man, but
having to confide in him, or Sydney for that matter, about things
that shouldn¡¦t be bothering him at all, was extremely demeaning.
Leaving his seat by the window, he padded into the bathroom,
so agitated that he was barely able to focus on what he was doing.
¡§Damn it, Jarod, snap out of it,¡¨ he rebuked, as he rinsed his face
with warm water, disgusted at how easily he cried anymore.
Frightened that he might be in the early stages of depression, he
wadded up his towel and angrily threw it at the mirror, blaming his
symptoms on the new medication he had been forced to take.
Reentering his bedroom, he stepped to the window and observed the
people coming and going below, which had become one of his favorite
things to do.
Again, he resisted the urge to leave the hospital, knowing it would
only further complicate things. It¡¦d be so easy though, and he knew
it.
Taking his Bible from his nightstand, he stretched out on the bed,
immersing himself in the scriptures, hoping to steer his mind away
from the precarious position he had left his wife in, which was
eating him alive.
Dr. Forums¡¦ office
4:04 P.M.
¡§Sydney, just the man I wanted to see,¡¨ the resident psychiatrist
said brightly, finishing his entry on their patient¡¦s chart as the
other man entered the room.
¡§How was your session with Jarod?¡¨ Did he mention anything
further about his ordeal during Han¡¦s death?¡¨
¡§No, he purposefully sidestepped that entire issue. He did
touch briefly on his experience of being shot, though he might have
said more if he weren¡¦t so uncomfortable with me.¡¨
¡§What do you mean?¡¨ the former mentor asked curiously, flipping open
Jarod¡¦s chart as it was handed to him.
¡§He left his bed in the middle of our conversation and
repositioned himself clear across the room.¡¨
¡§Really,¡¨ Sydney said with slight amusement, surprised that
Jarod, of all people, would express his discomfort so blatantly.
¡§From what little he managed to discuss with me during his
disjointed conversation, I gathered that he¡¦s become terrified that
he won¡¦t be able to keep his wife and child from being taken. Being
totally incapacitated the night he was shot must have unfortunately
triggered that neurotic fear.¡¨
¡§He¡¦ll need extensive counseling in that area, or I¡¦m afraid his
paranoia will ruin his marriage and any chance he has for a normal
life.¡¨
¡§I¡¦ve gathered as much from my discussions with him,¡¨ Sydney
admitted uncomfortably, as he finished skimming the other man¡¦s
notes.
¡§Say, I know a psychiatrist with extensive experience with eye
movement desensitization and reprocessing. I believe that that form
of treatment will reduce his symptoms related to the original trauma
of being taken that undoubtedly feeds into that fear. The duration
of the treatment would be greatly reduced compared with the lengthy
time of conventional talk therapy. Of course, we need to get him
stabilized first.¡¨
¡§It¡¦s ashamed Jarod didn¡¦t share any of the details of being
shot. I was hoping to make a comparison between what he personally
experienced and what he detailed about his clone. I¡¦m hypothesizing
that he might have the two recollections seriously confused and
might actually be reading his own experiences into that of his
clone,¡¨ he said, abruptly changing the topic.
¡§Interesting. That explanation makes a lot more sense to me
than his claim about some unverifiable mental link.¡¨
¡§That¡¦s not quite what I was trying to say. I¡¦m convinced
that Jarod did have a mental link with Hans. He¡¦s experienced a
minor one as well with Michael his younger clone. I just can¡¦t
fandom it¡¦s to the extent that Jarod claims.¡¨
¡§I see,¡¨ the other man said, obviously feeling less than convinced.
¡§Is Jarod experiencing marital problems?¡¨
¡§I¡¦m not sure he sees it that way. I¡¦d characterize his wife
as a rather difficult woman to get along with at times. She¡¦s always
been particularly unforgiving of any show of weakness on his part in
the past, and he knows that. Ironically, she¡¦s been extremely angry
with him the past few days, for not confiding in her about what he¡¦s
been going through.¡¨
¡§A disgruntled wife is the last thing he needs to be dealing
with right now. I¡¦m glad he¡¦s been removed from that situation.
¡§She really loves him very much. I¡¦ve been giving her
marital counseling. I believe she¡¦s beginning to understand what
Jarod needs from her right now.¡¨
¡§I¡¦m relieved to hear that. I don¡¦t want him released,
before he has a stable relational environment to return to.¡¨
¡§I¡¦m in full agreement. Oh, I almost forgot. I would like to
begin Jarod on an appetite stimulant this afternoon. He¡¦s reacted
favorably to that in the past.¡¨
¡§I¡¦m glad you mentioned that, Sydney. I¡¦ve noticed even with
his new medications, he¡¦s not eating well at all.¡¨
¡§If you¡¦ll excuse me, I think I¡¦ll head up to his room now.
I¡¦d like to discuss it with him, ahead of time,¡¨ he said glancing at
his watch.
¡§Of course, Sydney. Jarod is lucky to have such an attentive
friend and doctor,¡¨ he said, giving him a reassuring smile,
suspecting that he was probably riddled with guilt over Jarod¡¦s
continuing emotional problems stemming from his kidnapping,
exploitation, and subsequent unspeakable torture at the Centre.
Room 502
4:35 P.M.
As Sydney entered the room, he was startled by his patient¡¦s frantic
cries, as the terrified man sat bolt upright and scrambled out of
his bed. Pressing his back against the nearest wall, he struggling
to catch his breath, completely oblivious of the older man.
¡§Take it easy, Jarod, you were just having a bad dream,¡¨ his
psychiatrist explained, seeing for the first time how
psychologically damaging his nightmares had become.
¡§What are¡Kyou doing¡Khere?¡¨ he managed, eyeing the older man
nervously as he sank into one of the chairs by the window,
purposefully distancing himself from the bed.
¡§I was wanting to check on you before I went home,¡¨ he said, his
heart skipping a beat as he stooped down to retrieve Jarod¡¦s book
and pencil from the floor, getting his first glimpse of his
patient¡¦s frenzied activities. Most of the margins were filled with
personal notes and he had graphically illustrated the cover sheets
with sketches apparently of Han¡¦s violent death and subsequent
horrific fate.
¡§Dear Lord, Jarod, how on earth am I going to help you,¡¨ Sydney
thought, slipping the pencil he was not permitted to have into his
pocket and placing the disturbing book on the bed.
¡§Jarod, can you tell me what your nightmare was about?¡¨ he
asked with deep concern, knowing that it rivaled any he had seen him
suffering from in the past.
¡§Let¡¦s just say¡KAndi was¡Khaving a¡KC-section from hell,¡¨ he managed
unevenly, still drastically shaken.
¡§Perhaps we¡¦re throwing too much at you right now. Why don¡¦t we
reduce your sessions to once a day, and see how you do,¡¨ he offered,
beginning to change the orders on his chart.
¡§No, I can handle it. Reducing my sessions will only prolong
my stay here,¡¨ he strenuously argued, suddenly leaving his chair and
starting to pace.
¡§All right, Jarod, we¡¦ll keep it this way for another day,
and see how you do,¡¨ he agreed smoothly, trying to avoid further
upsetting his patient.
¡§Your dietary percentages are still unacceptably low. Why
don¡¦t we start you on an appetite stimulant this afternoon?¡¨
¡§You didn¡¦t need to come all the way up here to explain it
to me,¡¨ he said bitterly, hating what was happening to him.
¡§Jarod, please sit down and try to relax. Pacing will only
exasperate your anxiety level,¡¨ he admonished, realizing that his
tranquilizer wasn¡¦t doing nearly enough to help him.
¡§Well, how did you expect me to react, being trapped in this tiny
cubical?¡¨ he spit, forcing himself back into his chair, trying his
best to be compliant, finding it almost impossible to sit still.
¡§It¡¦s obvious that you¡¦re feeling uncomfortably confined, but your
safety is of paramount importance right now. I requested that
security arrange for you to have exercise privileges in rehab. Be
patient. They assured me they would have something worked out by
tomorrow,¡¨ he explained, dismayed that Jarod had become distracted
by something and wasn¡¦t following along.
¡§Jarod, I couldn¡¦t help but notice your drawings when I retrieved
your book from the floor. You appear to have transformed your Bible
into a workbook of sorts. Would you like a sketchpad as well,¡¨ he
offered, immediately taken back by the radical change in the
pretender¡¦s mood, as he nearly broke down and cried.
¡§I¡¦ll take your silence as a maybe,¡¨ the psychiatrist said with a
puzzled look, unaware of the sketch pad Jarod had feigned interest
in while on a psyche-ward during one of his pretends.
¡§Getting back to your nightmare; Jarod, I want you to understand
that the chances of your child being taken as you were, are
infinitesimally small. Let me remind you that there is no Centre any
more and the remnant of Lyle¡¦s operation in Germany is going the
same way shortly. You mustn¡¦t obsess about Andrea and your child.
You¡¦re making yourself physically ill,¡¨ he said, noticing that every
time he brought up the subject, his patient began involuntarily
shaking.
¡§Don¡¦t you think I know that? I¡¦m not obsessing about that or
anything else, for that matter,¡¨ he said, wrapping his arms
protectively around his waist. ¡§I can¡¦t understand what precipitates
those dreams,¡¨ he offered, breaking eye contact with his doctor and
studying an irregularity in one of the beige tiles on the floor.
¡§Jarod, why can¡¦t you be honest with me?¡¨ he asked in frustration,
unable to understand the convoluted thinking of the genius sitting
before him. ¡§Even a blind man would know that you are deeply
traumatized by your fear concerning your pregnant wife. What are you
gaining by not admitting that to me?¡¨ he asked, getting no response
from the other man.
¡§After you¡¦ve become more stable, we know a doctor who specializes
in eye movement desensitization and reprocessing, who¡¦ll be able to
help you achieve a more healthy view of the safety of your wife and
child.¡¨
¡§How dare you,¡¨ he breathed suddenly tipping over his chair as he
stood up, his expression mutating into one of rage.
¡§I will never become complacent as far as my wife and child¡¦s safety
is concerned. You of all people should know that!¡¨ he yelled angrily
as he advanced on the other man, his dark eyes boring accusingly
into his.
¡§Excuse me, but is everything all right?¡¨ the security guard posted
at the door asked, as he peeked into the room eyeing the over turned
chair and the two men standing face to face.
¡§Everything is under control. Please give us some privacy,¡¨ Sydney
said evenly, waiting until the door was shut before he spoke again.
¡§Jarod you must admit,¡¨ his doctor began attempting to reason with
the neurotic man.
¡§Stop it, Sydney. My family¡¦s safety is not open to debate.¡¨
¡§As you wish, Jarod.¡¨
¡§Don¡¦t look at me that way,¡¨ he said defensively, stepping to the
window deliberately turning his back on the other man, convinced
that he was right.
¡§Jarod, please pick up your chair and try to get a hold of your
self,¡¨ Sydney suggested surprised by how out of control he was
considering how heavily he was being medicated.
¡§Jarod have you been taking all your medications? I want you to be
honest with me,¡¨ he asked, knowing that he had palmed his medication
in the past.
¡§I resent the implications of that question. What do you think I¡¦m
doing, hording them for some fatalistic curtain call. Of course I¡¦ve
been taking them,¡¨ he spit, angry that his former mentor didn¡¦t
understand he was trying his best to comply, considering what was at
stake.
¡§You have my sincerest apology, Jarod. I believe you. Why don¡¦t you
lie down and run through some deep breathing exercises? I have
something I need to attend to. I¡¦ll be back in a little bit.¡¨
Fifteen minutes later¡K
¡§Jarod, you need to sit down now,¡¨ Sydney encouraged as he reentered
the room, noticing that his patient had found his feet again and was
pacing the length of the room.
¡§I believe you¡¦ve experienced far more stress than I had intended
for you to be exposed to today. Perhaps it would be wise if you
leave your Bible alone for tonight. I¡¦d rather see you relax and
watch something light hearted on TV or sleep, if you¡¦d like. You
know as well as I do, that you can¡¦t expect yourself to work through
all your issues in one day,¡¨ he added, wondering if he were getting
through to him as he stared at the floor.
¡§Excuse me, Doctor. I hope I¡¦m not interrupting anything,¡¨ the nurse
offered, sensing the tension in the air as she entered the room.
¡§Certainly not,¡¨ Sydney said, motioning the nurse to go ahead and
give the patient his medications.
¡§Is this really necessary? Jarod asked, searching the other man¡¦s
eyes in disbelief.
¡§Yes Jarod, at least for right now,¡¨ he said, knowing that his
patient was seriously confused and didn¡¦t really understand what it
would take to help him become rational again.
The pretender remained silent as he took his medication, his heart
sinking at the realization that the dose of his tranquilizer had
been increased quite substantially.
Rationalizing that Sydney didn¡¦t know what he was doing, he
dismissed the fact that it was further evidence of his deteriorating
mental health. Opting to take it he decided after one dose, his
former mentor would realize his mistake and reduce his tranquilizer
to a more acceptable level.
¡§You¡¦re going to have me so doped up that I won¡¦t care about
anything any more,¡¨ he accused, knowing that only an extremely
anxious patient could tolerate such a powerful dose without
basically falling asleep.
¡§I assure you we won¡¦t let that happen to you. I give you my word.
Jarod, you¡¦re going to need to trust in me to know what¡¦s best for
you right now,¡¨ he added, realizing by the look in his eyes that he
was frightened and was beginning to distrust him.
¡§Sydney, if you don¡¦t mind, I¡¦d like to be alone right now,¡¨ Jarod
admitted, shifting in his chair uncomfortably, feeling threatened by
his lingering presence.
¡§Certainly. Try your best to eat some dinner. I¡¦m sure your new
medication will help. Don¡¦t hesitate to ask for a sedative if you
have trouble falling asleep again tonight.¡¨
¡§Considering you just doubled the strength of my tranquilizer, I
really don¡¦t think I¡¦ll need¡K¡¨he broke off, as a loud clap of
thunder announced the beginning of another severe tropical storm
¡§Tell me what just happened to you?¡¨ Sydney asked, as the pretender
started to come around.
¡§Oh, um, nothing really; I¡¦m fine,¡¨ he said with a
lighthearted laugh, raking a trembling hand over his face,
struggling to regain his reality base.
¡§You¡¦re not fine at all, Jarod. It¡¦s obvious the thunder just caused
you to have a flashback. Why on earth didn¡¦t you mention that audio
cue to me during the storm we had this morning?¡¨ he asked,
exasperated that he still wasn¡¦t completely leveling with him
concerning his mental health. ¡§We need to be working the problem,
remember?¡¨
¡§I had something else on my mind,¡¨ he admitted, remembering
he¡¦d desperately wanted to rejoin his wife and that admitting to
having flashbacks would have further damaged his cause.
¡§Jarod, what kind of flashback does it trigger,¡¨ Sydney
asked, taking the window seat beside him, knowing it¡¦d be best for
him to get it out in the open.
¡§Basically, my ordeal of being shot¡KHans being shot¡KI don¡¦t
know¡Kit¡¦s like Russian roulette¡Ktake your pick,¡¨ he said quietly
after a prolonged pause, rubbing his eyes with his trembling hand,
hoping to avoid discussing it further with him.
Stepping to the intercom, the doctor requested that a set of
earplugs be brought to his patient¡¦s room, as another clap of
thunder resonated through the room, and heavy rain began to fall.
¡§Those should give you the relief you need for tonight,¡¨ he
said, hating the broken look on his patient¡¦s face.
¡§Jarod don¡¦t be discouraged. You¡¦ve only been here since
yesterday afternoon. Once we find the right balance of medications
for you, you¡¦re going to start feeling more in control again.¡¨
¡§Please, Sydney, just leave me alone.¡¨
¡§As you wish, Jarod, I¡¦ll check in on you first thing
tomorrow morning,¡¨ he said, feeling vaguely unsettled as he left him
alone, needing to remind himself that the hospital had an excellent
psychiatric staff who would be there for him if he needed help.
* * *
St. Fransais Hospital---Yellow Bird Island
Day 3
Room 502
8:00 AM
Jarod fought to open his eyes, as a nurse took his vitals and
redressed his injured shoulder, before nearly falling asleep again.
For the second time in a row, he¡¦d been forced into taking a
sedative in the predawn hours, after experiencing several horrific
night mares, and was still strongly affected by the drug.
Once alone, he made his way into the bathroom, struggled against the
sedative, resorting to splashing his face with cold water trying to
become more alert. Realizing that wasn¡¦t going to help, he stripped
down and forced himself into the shower, trying to keep up the
appearances that he was basically all right, desperately hoping for
an early release.
Afterwards, he put on a short sleeved shirt, skipping the buttons
and slipped on a pair of jogging pants. Falling gingerly back on his
bed, he closed his eyes eagerly craving sleep.
*
8:30 AM
¡§Jarod, how are you feeling today?¡¨ Sydney asked, as he entered the
room, expecting his patient to be rather unresponsive.
¡§How am I feeling?¡¨ he asked, barely opening his eyes. ¡§Sleepy,¡¨ he
finally said. ¡§The night nurse has a hypo that is hard to dodge,¡¨ he
said figuratively, raking a hand over his eyes, as he dutifully hit
the up button on the side of his bed, making himself more assessable
to his doctor.
¡§You had a difficult time again last night.¡¨
¡§So they told me,¡¨ Jarod admitted, feeling decidedly nauseous, just
thinking about it.
¡§Jarod, what were your nightmares about?¡¨
¡§I¡¦m not sure,¡¨ he lied. ¡§Lyle was there¡Kprobably spending some
quality time with him,¡¨ he offered, unable to discuss the horrific
contents of his dreams.
¡§Probably? Are you telling me the truth? I spoke at length with the
psychiatrist who was on call last night,¡¨ he began, noticing he had
gotten the exhausted pretender¡¦s undivided attention.
¡§He said you became hysterical about your wife after about your
fifth nightmare, and demanded that you be taken back to the DOA safe
house. At that point he deemed it necessary for you to be given a
sedative. However, before your medication took effect, you attempted
to slip out of the hospital while the security guard watching your
room went to answer the payphone at the end of the hall. On further
investigation, it was determined that the call had originated in
your room.¡¨
¡§If it weren¡¦t for a charge nurse arriving early for work, you would
have probably gotten out undetected. They¡¦re still trying to figure
out how you appropriated the security codes for the locks on the
doors.¡¨
¡§Jarod what on earth were you thinking? God only knows what would
have happened to you, once your sedative took effect,¡¨ he said,
frightened that he might try to escape again.
¡§Could we talk about this later? I¡¦m really not feeling well.¡¨
¡§No, we¡¦re going to talk about it now.¡¨
¡§Where were you planning on going?¡¨ the frustrated psychiatrist
asked, as the pretender suddenly left his bed for the bathroom,
quickly shutting the door.
*
After a few moments, Jarod reentered the room looking pale and
unsteady, having just become terribly ill.
¡§I had no idea you are still having problems with nausea,¡¨ his
mentor said gently, as the younger man lay down on his bed.
¡§I¡¦m doing much better for the most part,¡¨ he admitted quietly,
feeling totally humiliated.
¡§Jarod, please tell me where you were planning on going last night.¡¨
¡§Back to the DOA safe house to check on Andi,¡¨ he confessed,
desperately wanting to get the discussion over with.
¡§And your concern was driven by your nightmares?¡¨
¡§For the most part,¡¨ he admitted quietly after a prolonged pause.
¡§Jarod, let¡¦s see how you do on your new level of medication today.
If it keeps you from being so volatile, I¡¦ll consider releasing you
sooner than I had planned, providing your appetite improves. It¡¦s
apparent that being separated from your spouse is counter-productive
to your mental health right now. However, you must promise me that
you¡¦ll be willing to take a sedative at bedtime, instead of refusing
it until your nightmares get the best of you.¡¨
¡§I understand,¡¨ Jarod agreed, closing his tired eyes.
¡§Excuse me, Dr. Green, but it¡¦s time for Jarod¡¦s medications.
¡§Just give him the antiemetic and leave his antidepressant at the
nursing station. I want it to be given to him with his health shake.¡¨
¡§Certainly, doctor.¡¨
* * *
After a few moments¡K
¡§Dietary is going to bring you a health shake in a little bit. I
want you to finish your drink before you go back to sleep. Needless
to say, we¡¦ll hold off on your tranquilizer until your sedative has
worn off.¡¨
¡§Jarod, I hope you don¡¦t attempt to leave the facility again. That
would only serve to severely undermine my decision regarding your
early release, he admonished, realizing after looking more closely
at him, that his patient had already fallen back asleep.
Aware that Jarod was going to sleep for quite some time, he lifted
his Bible and took it to his office, anxious to figure out what was
going through the pretender¡¦s
mind.
* * *
Dr. Forum¡¦s Office
9:00 AM
¡§Sydney, an envelope just arrived for you from the FBI Office down
town.¡¨
¡§Thank you, Jacob. I requested the crime scene photos from Germany
of the sting operation that Jarod was involved in. Broots promised
he¡¦d have something for me today,¡¨ he explained placing Jarod¡¦s
Bible on the table and hurriedly opening the oversized envelope,
anxiously removing the photographs.
¡§What¡¦s the matter, Sydney?¡¨ the resident psychiatrist asked,
noticing the other man appeared deeply shaken.
¡§Dear Lord, Jacob,¡¨ he breathed prayerfully, tossing the photos on
the table in plain view of the other man. ¡§This is undeniable proof
that Jarod had a complete mental link with Hans during his
unspeakably violent death,¡¨ he said, opening the Bible to the cover
sheet and placing it on the table beside the photos.
¡§The sketches he made in the Bible are exactly the same as these
photos. I wouldn¡¦t have believed it if I weren¡¦t seeing it with my
own eyes. This is an historic medical discovery,¡¨ Jacob said,
interested in writing a paper for the next medical journal.
¡§No wonder he¡¦s having such a difficult time with his reality base
considering he feels personally responsible for his clone¡¦s death,
not to mention experiencing the horror of what Hans went through
first hand. That guilt coupled with the extreme protectiveness he
feels for his wife and unborn child, must be devastatingly confusing
for him considering for his family to remain safe his clone ended up
dead. Somehow we¡¦re going to have to find a way to help him come to
terms with his actions or he¡¦s going to have a complete mental
breakdown.¡¨
Writing without feedback is a horrible thing jojarod50@... or
jemac@...
By jojarod50 November 11, ¡¥03
Disclaimers - -for full explanation see previous parts
before the last eight or nine. I don¡¦t own them - - the ¡§powers that
be¡¨ refuse to use them. Here¡¦s to the best show that I¡¦ve ever had
the privilege of watching. ļ
St. Fransais Hospital - - Yellow Bird Island
Day 2 afternoon
Room 502
3:45 PM
Jarod stared at the door as it slowly closed, relieved that his
session with Dr. Forums was over. He definitely liked the man, but
having to confide in him, or Sydney for that matter, about things
that shouldn¡¦t be bothering him at all, was extremely demeaning.
Leaving his seat by the window, he padded into the bathroom,
so agitated that he was barely able to focus on what he was doing.
¡§Damn it, Jarod, snap out of it,¡¨ he rebuked, as he rinsed his face
with warm water, disgusted at how easily he cried anymore.
Frightened that he might be in the early stages of depression, he
wadded up his towel and angrily threw it at the mirror, blaming his
symptoms on the new medication he had been forced to take.
Reentering his bedroom, he stepped to the window and observed the
people coming and going below, which had become one of his favorite
things to do.
Again, he resisted the urge to leave the hospital, knowing it would
only further complicate things. It¡¦d be so easy though, and he knew
it.
Taking his Bible from his nightstand, he stretched out on the bed,
immersing himself in the scriptures, hoping to steer his mind away
from the precarious position he had left his wife in, which was
eating him alive.
Dr. Forums¡¦ office
4:04 P.M.
¡§Sydney, just the man I wanted to see,¡¨ the resident psychiatrist
said brightly, finishing his entry on their patient¡¦s chart as the
other man entered the room.
¡§How was your session with Jarod?¡¨ Did he mention anything
further about his ordeal during Han¡¦s death?¡¨
¡§No, he purposefully sidestepped that entire issue. He did
touch briefly on his experience of being shot, though he might have
said more if he weren¡¦t so uncomfortable with me.¡¨
¡§What do you mean?¡¨ the former mentor asked curiously, flipping open
Jarod¡¦s chart as it was handed to him.
¡§He left his bed in the middle of our conversation and
repositioned himself clear across the room.¡¨
¡§Really,¡¨ Sydney said with slight amusement, surprised that
Jarod, of all people, would express his discomfort so blatantly.
¡§From what little he managed to discuss with me during his
disjointed conversation, I gathered that he¡¦s become terrified that
he won¡¦t be able to keep his wife and child from being taken. Being
totally incapacitated the night he was shot must have unfortunately
triggered that neurotic fear.¡¨
¡§He¡¦ll need extensive counseling in that area, or I¡¦m afraid his
paranoia will ruin his marriage and any chance he has for a normal
life.¡¨
¡§I¡¦ve gathered as much from my discussions with him,¡¨ Sydney
admitted uncomfortably, as he finished skimming the other man¡¦s
notes.
¡§Say, I know a psychiatrist with extensive experience with eye
movement desensitization and reprocessing. I believe that that form
of treatment will reduce his symptoms related to the original trauma
of being taken that undoubtedly feeds into that fear. The duration
of the treatment would be greatly reduced compared with the lengthy
time of conventional talk therapy. Of course, we need to get him
stabilized first.¡¨
¡§It¡¦s ashamed Jarod didn¡¦t share any of the details of being
shot. I was hoping to make a comparison between what he personally
experienced and what he detailed about his clone. I¡¦m hypothesizing
that he might have the two recollections seriously confused and
might actually be reading his own experiences into that of his
clone,¡¨ he said, abruptly changing the topic.
¡§Interesting. That explanation makes a lot more sense to me
than his claim about some unverifiable mental link.¡¨
¡§That¡¦s not quite what I was trying to say. I¡¦m convinced
that Jarod did have a mental link with Hans. He¡¦s experienced a
minor one as well with Michael his younger clone. I just can¡¦t
fandom it¡¦s to the extent that Jarod claims.¡¨
¡§I see,¡¨ the other man said, obviously feeling less than convinced.
¡§Is Jarod experiencing marital problems?¡¨
¡§I¡¦m not sure he sees it that way. I¡¦d characterize his wife
as a rather difficult woman to get along with at times. She¡¦s always
been particularly unforgiving of any show of weakness on his part in
the past, and he knows that. Ironically, she¡¦s been extremely angry
with him the past few days, for not confiding in her about what he¡¦s
been going through.¡¨
¡§A disgruntled wife is the last thing he needs to be dealing
with right now. I¡¦m glad he¡¦s been removed from that situation.
¡§She really loves him very much. I¡¦ve been giving her
marital counseling. I believe she¡¦s beginning to understand what
Jarod needs from her right now.¡¨
¡§I¡¦m relieved to hear that. I don¡¦t want him released,
before he has a stable relational environment to return to.¡¨
¡§I¡¦m in full agreement. Oh, I almost forgot. I would like to
begin Jarod on an appetite stimulant this afternoon. He¡¦s reacted
favorably to that in the past.¡¨
¡§I¡¦m glad you mentioned that, Sydney. I¡¦ve noticed even with
his new medications, he¡¦s not eating well at all.¡¨
¡§If you¡¦ll excuse me, I think I¡¦ll head up to his room now.
I¡¦d like to discuss it with him, ahead of time,¡¨ he said glancing at
his watch.
¡§Of course, Sydney. Jarod is lucky to have such an attentive
friend and doctor,¡¨ he said, giving him a reassuring smile,
suspecting that he was probably riddled with guilt over Jarod¡¦s
continuing emotional problems stemming from his kidnapping,
exploitation, and subsequent unspeakable torture at the Centre.
Room 502
4:35 P.M.
As Sydney entered the room, he was startled by his patient¡¦s frantic
cries, as the terrified man sat bolt upright and scrambled out of
his bed. Pressing his back against the nearest wall, he struggling
to catch his breath, completely oblivious of the older man.
¡§Take it easy, Jarod, you were just having a bad dream,¡¨ his
psychiatrist explained, seeing for the first time how
psychologically damaging his nightmares had become.
¡§What are¡Kyou doing¡Khere?¡¨ he managed, eyeing the older man
nervously as he sank into one of the chairs by the window,
purposefully distancing himself from the bed.
¡§I was wanting to check on you before I went home,¡¨ he said, his
heart skipping a beat as he stooped down to retrieve Jarod¡¦s book
and pencil from the floor, getting his first glimpse of his
patient¡¦s frenzied activities. Most of the margins were filled with
personal notes and he had graphically illustrated the cover sheets
with sketches apparently of Han¡¦s violent death and subsequent
horrific fate.
¡§Dear Lord, Jarod, how on earth am I going to help you,¡¨ Sydney
thought, slipping the pencil he was not permitted to have into his
pocket and placing the disturbing book on the bed.
¡§Jarod, can you tell me what your nightmare was about?¡¨ he
asked with deep concern, knowing that it rivaled any he had seen him
suffering from in the past.
¡§Let¡¦s just say¡KAndi was¡Khaving a¡KC-section from hell,¡¨ he managed
unevenly, still drastically shaken.
¡§Perhaps we¡¦re throwing too much at you right now. Why don¡¦t we
reduce your sessions to once a day, and see how you do,¡¨ he offered,
beginning to change the orders on his chart.
¡§No, I can handle it. Reducing my sessions will only prolong
my stay here,¡¨ he strenuously argued, suddenly leaving his chair and
starting to pace.
¡§All right, Jarod, we¡¦ll keep it this way for another day,
and see how you do,¡¨ he agreed smoothly, trying to avoid further
upsetting his patient.
¡§Your dietary percentages are still unacceptably low. Why
don¡¦t we start you on an appetite stimulant this afternoon?¡¨
¡§You didn¡¦t need to come all the way up here to explain it
to me,¡¨ he said bitterly, hating what was happening to him.
¡§Jarod, please sit down and try to relax. Pacing will only
exasperate your anxiety level,¡¨ he admonished, realizing that his
tranquilizer wasn¡¦t doing nearly enough to help him.
¡§Well, how did you expect me to react, being trapped in this tiny
cubical?¡¨ he spit, forcing himself back into his chair, trying his
best to be compliant, finding it almost impossible to sit still.
¡§It¡¦s obvious that you¡¦re feeling uncomfortably confined, but your
safety is of paramount importance right now. I requested that
security arrange for you to have exercise privileges in rehab. Be
patient. They assured me they would have something worked out by
tomorrow,¡¨ he explained, dismayed that Jarod had become distracted
by something and wasn¡¦t following along.
¡§Jarod, I couldn¡¦t help but notice your drawings when I retrieved
your book from the floor. You appear to have transformed your Bible
into a workbook of sorts. Would you like a sketchpad as well,¡¨ he
offered, immediately taken back by the radical change in the
pretender¡¦s mood, as he nearly broke down and cried.
¡§I¡¦ll take your silence as a maybe,¡¨ the psychiatrist said with a
puzzled look, unaware of the sketch pad Jarod had feigned interest
in while on a psyche-ward during one of his pretends.
¡§Getting back to your nightmare; Jarod, I want you to understand
that the chances of your child being taken as you were, are
infinitesimally small. Let me remind you that there is no Centre any
more and the remnant of Lyle¡¦s operation in Germany is going the
same way shortly. You mustn¡¦t obsess about Andrea and your child.
You¡¦re making yourself physically ill,¡¨ he said, noticing that every
time he brought up the subject, his patient began involuntarily
shaking.
¡§Don¡¦t you think I know that? I¡¦m not obsessing about that or
anything else, for that matter,¡¨ he said, wrapping his arms
protectively around his waist. ¡§I can¡¦t understand what precipitates
those dreams,¡¨ he offered, breaking eye contact with his doctor and
studying an irregularity in one of the beige tiles on the floor.
¡§Jarod, why can¡¦t you be honest with me?¡¨ he asked in frustration,
unable to understand the convoluted thinking of the genius sitting
before him. ¡§Even a blind man would know that you are deeply
traumatized by your fear concerning your pregnant wife. What are you
gaining by not admitting that to me?¡¨ he asked, getting no response
from the other man.
¡§After you¡¦ve become more stable, we know a doctor who specializes
in eye movement desensitization and reprocessing, who¡¦ll be able to
help you achieve a more healthy view of the safety of your wife and
child.¡¨
¡§How dare you,¡¨ he breathed suddenly tipping over his chair as he
stood up, his expression mutating into one of rage.
¡§I will never become complacent as far as my wife and child¡¦s safety
is concerned. You of all people should know that!¡¨ he yelled angrily
as he advanced on the other man, his dark eyes boring accusingly
into his.
¡§Excuse me, but is everything all right?¡¨ the security guard posted
at the door asked, as he peeked into the room eyeing the over turned
chair and the two men standing face to face.
¡§Everything is under control. Please give us some privacy,¡¨ Sydney
said evenly, waiting until the door was shut before he spoke again.
¡§Jarod you must admit,¡¨ his doctor began attempting to reason with
the neurotic man.
¡§Stop it, Sydney. My family¡¦s safety is not open to debate.¡¨
¡§As you wish, Jarod.¡¨
¡§Don¡¦t look at me that way,¡¨ he said defensively, stepping to the
window deliberately turning his back on the other man, convinced
that he was right.
¡§Jarod, please pick up your chair and try to get a hold of your
self,¡¨ Sydney suggested surprised by how out of control he was
considering how heavily he was being medicated.
¡§Jarod have you been taking all your medications? I want you to be
honest with me,¡¨ he asked, knowing that he had palmed his medication
in the past.
¡§I resent the implications of that question. What do you think I¡¦m
doing, hording them for some fatalistic curtain call. Of course I¡¦ve
been taking them,¡¨ he spit, angry that his former mentor didn¡¦t
understand he was trying his best to comply, considering what was at
stake.
¡§You have my sincerest apology, Jarod. I believe you. Why don¡¦t you
lie down and run through some deep breathing exercises? I have
something I need to attend to. I¡¦ll be back in a little bit.¡¨
Fifteen minutes later¡K
¡§Jarod, you need to sit down now,¡¨ Sydney encouraged as he reentered
the room, noticing that his patient had found his feet again and was
pacing the length of the room.
¡§I believe you¡¦ve experienced far more stress than I had intended
for you to be exposed to today. Perhaps it would be wise if you
leave your Bible alone for tonight. I¡¦d rather see you relax and
watch something light hearted on TV or sleep, if you¡¦d like. You
know as well as I do, that you can¡¦t expect yourself to work through
all your issues in one day,¡¨ he added, wondering if he were getting
through to him as he stared at the floor.
¡§Excuse me, Doctor. I hope I¡¦m not interrupting anything,¡¨ the nurse
offered, sensing the tension in the air as she entered the room.
¡§Certainly not,¡¨ Sydney said, motioning the nurse to go ahead and
give the patient his medications.
¡§Is this really necessary? Jarod asked, searching the other man¡¦s
eyes in disbelief.
¡§Yes Jarod, at least for right now,¡¨ he said, knowing that his
patient was seriously confused and didn¡¦t really understand what it
would take to help him become rational again.
The pretender remained silent as he took his medication, his heart
sinking at the realization that the dose of his tranquilizer had
been increased quite substantially.
Rationalizing that Sydney didn¡¦t know what he was doing, he
dismissed the fact that it was further evidence of his deteriorating
mental health. Opting to take it he decided after one dose, his
former mentor would realize his mistake and reduce his tranquilizer
to a more acceptable level.
¡§You¡¦re going to have me so doped up that I won¡¦t care about
anything any more,¡¨ he accused, knowing that only an extremely
anxious patient could tolerate such a powerful dose without
basically falling asleep.
¡§I assure you we won¡¦t let that happen to you. I give you my word.
Jarod, you¡¦re going to need to trust in me to know what¡¦s best for
you right now,¡¨ he added, realizing by the look in his eyes that he
was frightened and was beginning to distrust him.
¡§Sydney, if you don¡¦t mind, I¡¦d like to be alone right now,¡¨ Jarod
admitted, shifting in his chair uncomfortably, feeling threatened by
his lingering presence.
¡§Certainly. Try your best to eat some dinner. I¡¦m sure your new
medication will help. Don¡¦t hesitate to ask for a sedative if you
have trouble falling asleep again tonight.¡¨
¡§Considering you just doubled the strength of my tranquilizer, I
really don¡¦t think I¡¦ll need¡K¡¨he broke off, as a loud clap of
thunder announced the beginning of another severe tropical storm
¡§Tell me what just happened to you?¡¨ Sydney asked, as the pretender
started to come around.
¡§Oh, um, nothing really; I¡¦m fine,¡¨ he said with a
lighthearted laugh, raking a trembling hand over his face,
struggling to regain his reality base.
¡§You¡¦re not fine at all, Jarod. It¡¦s obvious the thunder just caused
you to have a flashback. Why on earth didn¡¦t you mention that audio
cue to me during the storm we had this morning?¡¨ he asked,
exasperated that he still wasn¡¦t completely leveling with him
concerning his mental health. ¡§We need to be working the problem,
remember?¡¨
¡§I had something else on my mind,¡¨ he admitted, remembering
he¡¦d desperately wanted to rejoin his wife and that admitting to
having flashbacks would have further damaged his cause.
¡§Jarod, what kind of flashback does it trigger,¡¨ Sydney
asked, taking the window seat beside him, knowing it¡¦d be best for
him to get it out in the open.
¡§Basically, my ordeal of being shot¡KHans being shot¡KI don¡¦t
know¡Kit¡¦s like Russian roulette¡Ktake your pick,¡¨ he said quietly
after a prolonged pause, rubbing his eyes with his trembling hand,
hoping to avoid discussing it further with him.
Stepping to the intercom, the doctor requested that a set of
earplugs be brought to his patient¡¦s room, as another clap of
thunder resonated through the room, and heavy rain began to fall.
¡§Those should give you the relief you need for tonight,¡¨ he
said, hating the broken look on his patient¡¦s face.
¡§Jarod don¡¦t be discouraged. You¡¦ve only been here since
yesterday afternoon. Once we find the right balance of medications
for you, you¡¦re going to start feeling more in control again.¡¨
¡§Please, Sydney, just leave me alone.¡¨
¡§As you wish, Jarod, I¡¦ll check in on you first thing
tomorrow morning,¡¨ he said, feeling vaguely unsettled as he left him
alone, needing to remind himself that the hospital had an excellent
psychiatric staff who would be there for him if he needed help.
* * *
St. Fransais Hospital---Yellow Bird Island
Day 3
Room 502
8:00 AM
Jarod fought to open his eyes, as a nurse took his vitals and
redressed his injured shoulder, before nearly falling asleep again.
For the second time in a row, he¡¦d been forced into taking a
sedative in the predawn hours, after experiencing several horrific
night mares, and was still strongly affected by the drug.
Once alone, he made his way into the bathroom, struggled against the
sedative, resorting to splashing his face with cold water trying to
become more alert. Realizing that wasn¡¦t going to help, he stripped
down and forced himself into the shower, trying to keep up the
appearances that he was basically all right, desperately hoping for
an early release.
Afterwards, he put on a short sleeved shirt, skipping the buttons
and slipped on a pair of jogging pants. Falling gingerly back on his
bed, he closed his eyes eagerly craving sleep.
*
8:30 AM
¡§Jarod, how are you feeling today?¡¨ Sydney asked, as he entered the
room, expecting his patient to be rather unresponsive.
¡§How am I feeling?¡¨ he asked, barely opening his eyes. ¡§Sleepy,¡¨ he
finally said. ¡§The night nurse has a hypo that is hard to dodge,¡¨ he
said figuratively, raking a hand over his eyes, as he dutifully hit
the up button on the side of his bed, making himself more assessable
to his doctor.
¡§You had a difficult time again last night.¡¨
¡§So they told me,¡¨ Jarod admitted, feeling decidedly nauseous, just
thinking about it.
¡§Jarod, what were your nightmares about?¡¨
¡§I¡¦m not sure,¡¨ he lied. ¡§Lyle was there¡Kprobably spending some
quality time with him,¡¨ he offered, unable to discuss the horrific
contents of his dreams.
¡§Probably? Are you telling me the truth? I spoke at length with the
psychiatrist who was on call last night,¡¨ he began, noticing he had
gotten the exhausted pretender¡¦s undivided attention.
¡§He said you became hysterical about your wife after about your
fifth nightmare, and demanded that you be taken back to the DOA safe
house. At that point he deemed it necessary for you to be given a
sedative. However, before your medication took effect, you attempted
to slip out of the hospital while the security guard watching your
room went to answer the payphone at the end of the hall. On further
investigation, it was determined that the call had originated in
your room.¡¨
¡§If it weren¡¦t for a charge nurse arriving early for work, you would
have probably gotten out undetected. They¡¦re still trying to figure
out how you appropriated the security codes for the locks on the
doors.¡¨
¡§Jarod what on earth were you thinking? God only knows what would
have happened to you, once your sedative took effect,¡¨ he said,
frightened that he might try to escape again.
¡§Could we talk about this later? I¡¦m really not feeling well.¡¨
¡§No, we¡¦re going to talk about it now.¡¨
¡§Where were you planning on going?¡¨ the frustrated psychiatrist
asked, as the pretender suddenly left his bed for the bathroom,
quickly shutting the door.
*
After a few moments, Jarod reentered the room looking pale and
unsteady, having just become terribly ill.
¡§I had no idea you are still having problems with nausea,¡¨ his
mentor said gently, as the younger man lay down on his bed.
¡§I¡¦m doing much better for the most part,¡¨ he admitted quietly,
feeling totally humiliated.
¡§Jarod, please tell me where you were planning on going last night.¡¨
¡§Back to the DOA safe house to check on Andi,¡¨ he confessed,
desperately wanting to get the discussion over with.
¡§And your concern was driven by your nightmares?¡¨
¡§For the most part,¡¨ he admitted quietly after a prolonged pause.
¡§Jarod, let¡¦s see how you do on your new level of medication today.
If it keeps you from being so volatile, I¡¦ll consider releasing you
sooner than I had planned, providing your appetite improves. It¡¦s
apparent that being separated from your spouse is counter-productive
to your mental health right now. However, you must promise me that
you¡¦ll be willing to take a sedative at bedtime, instead of refusing
it until your nightmares get the best of you.¡¨
¡§I understand,¡¨ Jarod agreed, closing his tired eyes.
¡§Excuse me, Dr. Green, but it¡¦s time for Jarod¡¦s medications.
¡§Just give him the antiemetic and leave his antidepressant at the
nursing station. I want it to be given to him with his health shake.¡¨
¡§Certainly, doctor.¡¨
* * *
After a few moments¡K
¡§Dietary is going to bring you a health shake in a little bit. I
want you to finish your drink before you go back to sleep. Needless
to say, we¡¦ll hold off on your tranquilizer until your sedative has
worn off.¡¨
¡§Jarod, I hope you don¡¦t attempt to leave the facility again. That
would only serve to severely undermine my decision regarding your
early release, he admonished, realizing after looking more closely
at him, that his patient had already fallen back asleep.
Aware that Jarod was going to sleep for quite some time, he lifted
his Bible and took it to his office, anxious to figure out what was
going through the pretender¡¦s
mind.
* * *
Dr. Forum¡¦s Office
9:00 AM
¡§Sydney, an envelope just arrived for you from the FBI Office down
town.¡¨
¡§Thank you, Jacob. I requested the crime scene photos from Germany
of the sting operation that Jarod was involved in. Broots promised
he¡¦d have something for me today,¡¨ he explained placing Jarod¡¦s
Bible on the table and hurriedly opening the oversized envelope,
anxiously removing the photographs.
¡§What¡¦s the matter, Sydney?¡¨ the resident psychiatrist asked,
noticing the other man appeared deeply shaken.
¡§Dear Lord, Jacob,¡¨ he breathed prayerfully, tossing the photos on
the table in plain view of the other man. ¡§This is undeniable proof
that Jarod had a complete mental link with Hans during his
unspeakably violent death,¡¨ he said, opening the Bible to the cover
sheet and placing it on the table beside the photos.
¡§The sketches he made in the Bible are exactly the same as these
photos. I wouldn¡¦t have believed it if I weren¡¦t seeing it with my
own eyes. This is an historic medical discovery,¡¨ Jacob said,
interested in writing a paper for the next medical journal.
¡§No wonder he¡¦s having such a difficult time with his reality base
considering he feels personally responsible for his clone¡¦s death,
not to mention experiencing the horror of what Hans went through
first hand. That guilt coupled with the extreme protectiveness he
feels for his wife and unborn child, must be devastatingly confusing
for him considering for his family to remain safe his clone ended up
dead. Somehow we¡¦re going to have to find a way to help him come to
terms with his actions or he¡¦s going to have a complete mental
breakdown.¡¨
Writing without feedback is a horrible thing jojarod50@... or
jemac@...
