Table of Contents [Report This]
Chapter or Story 
Chapter or Story
This fanfic is written to keep alive my favorite show, The Pretender, as we wait for more movies. I do not own the characters of The Pretender or The Profiler. TNT, AOL, NBC, FOX, and I’m not sure who else owns the show. Please don’t sue me—Just make more Pretender shows! Author’s note - -Andrea Marie is the name I came up with for Miss Parker and has nothing to do with the actress that plays that role. In one of the episodes, it was mentioned that Charles was Jarod’s dad’s last name, so I gave him the first name of John. Gemini’s new name is Michael. And for those of you who don’t know it, Green is not the real last name of Sydney. Since it is well know, I’ve been using it in this piece.
Aug. 1, ‘01
In Pursuit Of Happiness
Part 37
by jojarod50
The Charles cabana
6:01 PM
“Thank you for calling, Sydney. No, don’t worry about us. We’d rather find out this way, than have something happen to him that could have prevented. Yes, I understand. I’ll be in touch. Good by.”
“John, what was that all about? That was Jarod’s doctor, wasn’t it?” Margaret asked nervously, knowing by the look on her husband’s face, that what ever it was had really upset him.
“Why don’t we take a walk on the beach,” he suggested, glancing across the room at Michael, who appeared deeply engrossed in one of his marine life books. “There’s plenty of time before we go out for dinner,” Major Charles suggested, gesturing toward the door
Sensing a red flag go up, Michael, waited until his parents were out of sight, before heading to Jarod’s room. It had been painfully obvious to him, the depths that Jarod had been suffering from the after effects of the hallucinogen all day, but he also understood his deep desire for privacy concerning his mental health. What he had found particularly sad was that his brother had been desperately trying to hide the truth of his frightening situation from his own family. At least, hiding it from everyone he could, except his clone. Yet there seemed to be a definite undercurrent of something else unsettling going on, and he was determined to get to the bottom of it, for all of their sakes.
*
Jarod’s room moments later…
“Jarod don’t!” Michael shouted, as he pushed open the door and saw the knife in his hand deliberately angled at his wrist.
“What the????? Haven’t you ever heard of knocking,” Jarod said angrily, as he grabbed the towel that had been draped across the night stand, and started blotting at the blood on his wrist.
“What were you trying to do with that knife?” Michael countered, just as angrily, in an accusatory voice.
“Taking out my stitches,” the pretender said absently, inspecting the damage. “Luckily, I’m not going to need any new ones,” he said, looking up into the worried eyes of his clone. “What did you think I was doing, trying to slit my wrists?” he asked, hating how the whole thing must have looked to his younger self.
“Well, now that you mention it, yes. This may come as news to you, but you haven’t exactly been the most stable person I’ve ever known, Jarod. In fact, your doctor called a little bit ago and upset our dad. Do you want to tell me what that was all about, or should I just take my best guess?” he asked, sitting down in the nearest chair, indicating he wasn’t leaving until Jarod talked.
Jarod let out a long sigh, nervously running his fingers through his hair trying to decide what to say.
“You’ve been having flashbacks all day, haven’t you?” Michael offered, trying to get his reluctant brother to talk.
Jarod, met his clone’s eyes briefly, then dropped his gaze uncomfortably, letting the silence hang between them. “I had no idea it was so easy for you to read me. I haven’t told anyone about that,” he said almost inaudibly.
“That’s just it, isn’t it? I’m pretty new at this, but I don’t think that is how family is supposed to work. Jarod, if you don’t tell anyone what is going on with you, they’re going to conjure up all kinds of crazy things to worry about. Does Sydney know what a difficult time you’re having?”
“That’s almost laughable. No. I spent most of my time with him, trying to convince him I wasn’t going to slit my throat.”
“Are you?”
“Of course not! Damn, that must have been what the phone call was all about,” he said, giving out a painful groan. “How could he do that to my folks?” he asked, shaking his head as he left the room, his clone tagging along at a distance.
***
6:35 PM
“Hi, Em, have you seen mom and dad?” Jarod asked, keeping his voice from betraying his deep apprehension, as he entered the livingroom.
“They went for a walk on the beach. That shirt looks really great on you, Jarod; looks like a perfect fit,” Emily said with satisfaction, as she left her chair. “Guess I better get dressed, too. Sure wouldn’t want to be late for the big event.”
“This whole day has been a big event. Thanks again for the shirt,” Jarod said distractedly, heading into the kitchen. Looking through the blinds, he felt a shroud of dread come over him, as he spotted his parents coming up the walkway toward the cabana.
Squaring his shoulders, the pretender made his way through the sliding glass door onto the patio, hit by a wave of stifling heat and assaulted by the intense smell of the salty brine.
Feeling suddenly nauseous, he studied his parents’ body language as they approached, hurriedly simming the situation from all sides, trying to decide what to say.
Perhaps there was some truth in what Michael had said, yet Jarod was more convinced that the last thing either of them needed was a steady diet of his latest problems. Vacillating on the point, he mused that having his own family was turning out to be the most complicated thing he had ever experienced, unlike his Pretends where he brought people back together and then went his own way.
*
“Hi,” he started with a thin smile. “Michael just told me that Sydney called. I promise you, things are not as bad as he may have led you to believe. Why don’t we all sit down for a moment and have a talk,” Jarod said with a wide gesture, trying for a reassuring smile. He loathed the way he was shaking, nearly undone by the look on their troubled faces.
“You wouldn’t purposefully leave us, would you, Sweetheart?” his mother asked, with tears in her eyes.
“Of course not, Mom. I assure you, I would never do anything like that. It’s hard to put into words how much I love you. And Emily and Michael, too. I’m going to get married, for heaven’s sake. You have to understand that I was so doped up on drugs yesterday, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing.”
“Mom, all I’ve ever wanted my whole life, was to be with my family and to find out who I really am. Though I’m not feeling well today, being with you is like a dream come true. I don’t blame Sydney for being cautious, but there’s no excuse for him unnecessarily alarming you. I promise you, I’m doing just fine.”
“Are you, son? You better be straight with me. I know you had at least one anxiety attack today, and you look like walking death.”
“John, for heaven’s sake. That’s no way to talk to your son.”
“It’s all right, Mom, I deserved that,” he said, letting out a long sigh, hating having to explain the rest. “I’ve been experiencing some moderately severe after effects from the hallucinogen I was on yesterday. I, um, had a terrifying flash back in the bathroom this morning, that precipitated the anxiety attack that dad was talking about. Since then, I’ve had four more; the latest one was just about an hour ago,” he said, studying the texture of the patio tiles.
“I’m sorry, Jarod, I didn’t mean to be so rough on you. I had no idea,” Major Charles said, as his wife stood and took a place on the bench Jarod was sitting on.
“Bless your heart, Jarod. Maybe we should postpone dinner and meet Miss Parker when you are feeling better,” she said, taking his hand in hers.
“No, Mom, that won’t be necessary. They’re hardly affecting me now. I imagine they’ll continue to taper off like they did the other day,” Jarod said, startled when she leaned into him and gave him a lingering hug. Hardly daring to take a breath, Jarod closed his eyes, receiving, the comfort and love he had never known as a child or grown-up until now.
“What have your flashbacks been like, Jarod?” John asked, stricken that he had had no idea what his son had been going through.
Jarod lowered his eyes and swallowed hard, wondering if he was doing the right thing by being so transparent with his folks.
“Sorry, Dad, I’d rather not…dwell on them any more, if you don’t mind,” he said, meeting his eyes for a fleeting moment.
“Um, it’s getting late, I need to get going,” Jarod said, feeling emotionally naked in front of his parents.
“Son, wait just a minute. I’d rather not have to bring this up now, but I don’t think you should be using the car, considering your flashbacks and so forth. I’d never forgive myself if you…”
“I know,” Jarod said, squeezing the bridge of his nose with his trembling hand. ”Another thing to thank Lyle for,” he said bitterly. “Don’t worry, Dad, I’m picking up Parker in a cab,” he said glancing at his watch again. “It should be waiting outside right now. I’ll see you in just a minute,” he said, giving both of them a nervous smile before abruptly heading through the sliding glass door, disappearing inside the cabana.
“John, do you think he’s all right?” Margaret asked, nervously searching her husband’s face.
“I hope so. He just seems understandably nervous and tired, to me. Sydney said depression was the warning sign to look for; something about the after effects of LSD, and I don’t see any signs of that. Besides, he’s starting to become more willing to be honest in discussing what’s really going on with him. I think it’s a good sign. Like Jarod said, he has so much to live for now; I can’t believe he’d throw it all away. Let’s just keep a close eye on him, and play it by ear.”
“It’s really bothering me, the way Jarod is throwing himself at that woman, considering how emotionally unstable he is. John, you know as well as I do, he can’t be thinking straight, with all those flashbacks and his severe nerves. Why don’t you have a talk with him, after his date tonight. Surely there’s some way you can explain to him that he has no business getting married until he’s had time to recuperate.”
“Margaret, that’s exactly what I told him the other day, but after a lengthy discussion with Jarod’s doctor, I changed my mind. I know that Jarod’s having a setback right now. God only knows how he managed to survive being drugged again considering a similar drug sent him into deep psychosis for weeks and these kinds of drugs seem to loosen the mind. But Sydney insisted that Jarod was not mentally incapacitated any more. He’ll probably bounce back like he did the other day. I’m not sure we have the right to interfere.”
“Oh John how can you say that after his doctor informed us that he almost committed suicide yesterday. Obviously, things have changed for Jarod since you had that talk. Come on John, open your eyes. Please talk to him, he needs our help.”
“If you don’t mind, I’d like to make a suggestion,” Michael said shyly, stepping away from the wall where he’s been standing. “Jarod and Miss Parker may have some kind of natural affection for each other, but I’m afraid it runs much deeper than that. I overheard Raines’ discussion with a molecular geneticists at Donoterase, about the work done through gene manipulation guaranteeing their physical attraction to each other. I believe it would be disastrous for Jarod, if you stood in the way of their coupling. From what I overheard, I don’t believe either of them know the truth,” Michael said, in what he hoped would be a simplified explanation they would understand.
“My God, how could the Centre have done such an unholy thing?”
***
Miss Parker’s cabana 5 minutes later…
“Jarod, come in,” Andy Marie said, trying to stifle a laugh. “Great shirt, Jarod. Is that left over from one of your pretends?” she teased, wondering why he was wearing such a ridiculously gaudy shirt.
“It was a present from my sister, Emily. She selected it for me to wear tonight,” he said, his eyes boring into hers. “It’s nice, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. I’m sorry. It’s just that…”
“I know,” Jarod said, finally breaking into a smile. “I thought the same thing when I saw it. Give it a chance, Parker, it’ll grow on you,” he said leaning in with passionate kiss.
“Mmmm, it’s starting to look better to me already,” she said, giving him a seductive once over. “What do you think?” she asked nervously, turning slightly in her new dress. “Will I pass inspection?”
“With flying colors,” Jarod said, eyeing her beautiful curves, ice blue eyes, and alluring lips. “Mmm, you even taste good,” he said playfully, pulling her into another embrace and pressing her warm body close to his.
“Why don’t we skip dinner and go straight for dessert,” Parker said, breathlessly, as Jarod nibbled on her ear.
“You have no idea how tempting that is, but, um, my parents are waiting,” he offered feebly, feeling the deep desire he’d been denied for so long almost getting the best of him. “You’re not going to get out of meeting my mom and Emily that easy.”
***
The Charles cabana
7:20 PM
“I was wondering when you’d two get here. I was beginning to think I’d been mistaken and was supposed to meet you two at the restaurant,” he said, scrutinizing their flushed faces and some smeared lipstick on Jarod’s neck.
“Sorry, Dad. We got hung up in traffic,” Jarod said, barely able to keep a straight face, as he fastened a stray button on his shirt he had missed.
“Traffic? Her cabana’s only a quarter of a mile away.”
“Um, Mom, this is Andy Marie Parker, my fiancée,” he said with a big smile, gently steering her closer to his mom.
“I’m so happy to meet you, Miss Parker. Jarod, she’s just lovely.”
“Parker, this is my sister, Emily,” Jarod offered, frightened that they might place her in Boston, as one of the Centre operatives that had prevented them from being reunited..
“Hi, Andy, I can’t wait to get to know you,” his sister said, giving her brother a reassuring wink.
“I guess you already know my Dad and Michael, who you probably remember as Gemini,” Jarod said, glad that introductions were over. “Well, we better get going. I hope everyone is hungry.”
“Starving is more like it,” Michael said, anxious to get the show on the road.
***
The Brown Booby Inn
7:35 PM
Well, so far so good, Jarod thought, as his party was escorted through the dim smoky lights to their seats in full view of a pianist playing softly on a grand piano.
“Great atmosphere, Booby,” Miss Parker teased, as he pulled out her seat slightly and she gracefully sat down.
“Come on, Parker. It’s a clever name for a restaurant. Brown Booby is an indigenous gull-like bird, that frequents nesting islands specifically in this area. Spanish sailors called them bobo, or stupid, considering how fickled the weather on the islands is, where they trustingly build their nests. Consider it a name with historical significance.”
“How on earth did you know that piece of trivia?” Emily asked, amazed by her brother’s incredible wealth of knowledge.
“I ran into a retired fisherman walking the beach, on my way back from my visit with Sydney this afternoon,” he said, glancing up at the waitress approaching their table.
“Good evening. My name is Kim. I will be serving you tonight,” the vivacious Polynesian waitress said, as she passed out their menus then ice water. “Our specialties tonight are : Grilled sea bass wrapped in cornhusks with maque choux, ancho-fired flank steak, with grilled smashed potatoes, and smoky plank-cooked chicken on pineapple with grilled cherry tomatoes drenched in our special sun dressing.”
“For your appetizer may I recommend our coconut shrimp and papaya satays.
“What do you all think? Should we give the satays a try?” Jarod asked, receiving a resounding affirmative. “Yes, that will be fine.”
“I’ll give you a chance to look over your menus, for a moment, while I bring you your complementary drinks.”
*
“Here we go, these are courtesy of the house, “ Kim said, passing out the coconut drinks. “Are you ready to order or would you like a little more time?”
“Hmmm, a tropical fruit drink in a coconut shell, with miniature parasols and assorted fruit on a sword,” he said, taking a deep draw on the straw. “It’s very refreshing,” Jarod said to the waitress, then took another long draw on his straw..
“Jarod, I believe that’s an alcoholic drink.”
“Mmmm, no wonder it burned all the way down,” Jarod said, giving his “bride to be” a flirtatious smile.
“No you don’t Jarod, we’ve already been down that road and it was a disaster,” she said gently, removing the drink from his hand.
It only took one sip of their drinks for Margaret and Major Charles to figure out what Miss Parker was doing, as they watched her put their son’s drink aside and whisper something in his ear, causing him to smile.
“Are you ready to order now ma’am?” their waitress reiterated, stepping between the two.
“I’ll have the sea bass,” Miss Parker said, then deferring to Jarod.
“Sir?
“I’ll have the same,” he said distractedly not really caring what he ate. Looking around the table, he felt a thrill of excitement, being surrounded by the people he loved.
***
In no time at all, everyone was having a great time, sharing stories of how they alluded the Centre and all the crazy professions they had had.
The tiny shish-ka-bob type appetizers were a big hit, especially with Michael who was ravenous and couldn’t understand why adults waited until so late in the evening to eat.
By the time the entrees came, everyone had gotten to know Parker surprisingly well, and found her very intriguing, considering her very precarious background with the Centre. What struck them all, was her having been coerced into retrieving Jarod, and how may times her cleverness had helped him get away.
After the entrees were passed out, Margaret had insisted on having a prayer of thanks, which reminded Parker of how her own mother had done the same thing so many years ago.
*
Well into the meal…
“Excuse me for a moment,” Jarod said, knocking over his water as he abruptly left his seat and headed toward the foyer.
Miss Parker slid her chair out and started to follow him, but Major Charles cut her off.
“Let me handle this, for now,” John said with a tense smile, as he left the room to find his son, who had looked like he was going to be ill.
***
“Jarod?” his dad inquired as he approached, relieved to find his son still upright, sitting beside the front windows at the bar in a padded chair.
“Oh, hi, Dad,” he said in a quiet voice, letting his head rest heavily against the back of the chair. “I didn’t mean to cause such a scene. Guess it was an error in judgement thinking I could handle going out tonight, after feeling ill on and off all day,” he said, suddenly leaning his head in his hand and falling silent for a moment. “Good way to make a fool out of my self, don’t you think?” he said more than asked, bitterly.
“Jarod, don’t be so hard on yourself. Everyone is having a wonderful dinner and I think Parker won your mother’s heart. You had another flashback, didn’t you?”
“They should have let up by now,” he said quietly, letting out a frustrated sigh.
“I think it would be wise if you called it a night after dinner, instead of going out on a date. Miss Parker will understand. She cares very deeply about you. Son, listen to me. It’s all right to take care of yourself. You’re special and deserve to be treated with dignity and love,” his father said, saddened that Jarod didn’t seem to believe that, after all his years in captivity.
“Um, I’m feeling better now, Dad, why don’t we go back to our seats. I’d hate to have everyone miss dessert,” he said, with a shy smile, his coloring beginning to return to normal.
“If that’s what you want. Son,” Major Charles said, hoping he would take his advice and go straight home after he dropped Parker off.
***
Miss Parker’s Cabana..
“I want to stay,” Jarod repeated staring at her with his big brown eyes, hating the look of pity in her eyes.
“We can get together later. I don’t want to see you again until you gotten some rest. Don’t look at me that way; I can tell by looking at you that you’re dead on your feet. Why don’t you take a few days to catch up on your sleep. I promise, I’m not going anywhere,” she said, leaning in and giving her run down counterpart a reassuring kiss.
****
Charles’ cabana 10:45 PM…
“Jarod, I’m glad you decided to come home early. We had a wonderful time tonight. Everything was perfect and Miss Parker seems very nice.”
“Thanks, Mom,” he said loosening his tie, feeling deeply depressed. “If you two don’t mind, I’m just going to go on to bed.”
“Of course we don’t mind. I think we’re going to turn in now, too. It’s been a big day for all of us. Good night, Son.”
***
Jarod’s bedroom moments later…
Jarod slipped out of his clothes and hung up what didn’t need to be washed. Then he padded his way to the bathroom and threw cold water on his face for several moments, trying to calm down. Looking up for a hand towel, he caught sight of himself in the mirror and quickly averted his eyes, not able to stand the sight of himself.
After brushing his teeth, he rummaged through one of his drawers, finding the Thorozine he had carelessly tossed inside when he had hurriedly unpacked this morning.
Pouring the entire contents of the bottle in his hand, he stood staring at the huge pile of orange pills for what seemed like an eternity, before selecting only 3 and putting the rest back in the bottle. The clinical side of his brain reminded him that he was upset and extremely depressed right now, but that this too would pass. Getting sleep was key.
“Damn, you’ve got to pull yourself together,” he whispered, as he downed the heavy dose and padded his way over to his bed, trying not to think of how foolish he must have looked to Parker tonight.
Physician, heal thine self, he mused, as he slipped under the cool sheets and adjusted his pillow to the angle he liked. As he dropped off to sleep he could hear his own words echoing in his head, “No, Mom, I would never do that…never do that.
***
Charles cabana
Friday 10:23 AM
“Jarod was awake, if you could call it that, for a while around 7:30 AM. He ate a little breakfast with us and then went back to bed. I just peeked in on him a little bit ago and he was sound asleep. He’s just completely worn out.”
“I’m glad he’s finally getting some rest, but keep an eye on him. Sometimes sleep can be used as a way to withdrawal. Unless he shows any other signs of depression like we discussed, tell him it’s unnecessary to come down this afternoon. I’d rather have him get some meaningful rest. When I talked to him yesterday, it was obvious to me he was suffering from acute exhaustion. I’m sorry, on second thought, I think I’ll drop by later anyway. I don’t want to take any chances with him, after what happened Wednesday.”
*
Jarod’s room around noon
“Jarod, Mom wanted me to check with you and see if you wanted any lunch. Jarod?” he repeated, as he stepped over to the sleeping form of his brother, and giving his shoulder a little shake.
“Hmmm, what do you want?” Jarod mumbled, his eyes at half mast.
“Mom was wondering if you wanted any lunch. Are you all right?” he asked suspiciously, wondering why he seemed so out of it and noticing his dilated pupils.
“Oh, um, I’m fine. Just trying to catch up on my sleep,” he said groggily, slipping out of bed and pulling on his black pants. “I’ll be right out.”
***
Jarod’s room 12:34
After a brief appearance at the dinning room table, Jarod excused himself obsessed with going back to sleep. Hurriedly downing 3 more pills, he slipped back under the covers, wanting to forget about reality for a while. He hoped that if he could catch up on enough sleep, he’d be better equipped to get his life back on track, but subconsciously there was really more to it than that.
Tossing and turning, he was tormented by a mired of negative thoughts, that seemed to be attacking him from all sides. Punching his pillow angrily, he futilely tried to quiet his mind that was stuck on overdrive. Too agitated to fall back to sleep, he threw back the covers and headed back to the bathroom his depression spiraling out of control. Solemnly, he stared at himself in the mirror feeling shear hopelessness, as he came to the realization that he would continue to cause his mom and dad nothing but grief. Weaving slightly, he suffered another severe flashback sending him straight over the edge.
About a half an hour later, Michael decided to check on his brother again. He had a gnawing feeling that something was terribly wrong.
Entering Jarod’s room, he tried to wake him, but it was a lost cause. After looking around the room, he made his way to the bathroom and spotted an empty Thorozine bottle on the floor. Returning to the still form, he realized Jarod was barely breathing.
Aug. 1, ‘01
Part 37
by jojarod50
The Charles cabana
6:01 PM
“Thank you for calling, Sydney. No, don’t worry about us. We’d rather find out this way, than have something happen to him that could have prevented. Yes, I understand. I’ll be in touch. Good by.”
“John, what was that all about? That was Jarod’s doctor, wasn’t it?” Margaret asked nervously, knowing by the look on her husband’s face, that what ever it was had really upset him.
“Why don’t we take a walk on the beach,” he suggested, glancing across the room at Michael, who appeared deeply engrossed in one of his marine life books. “There’s plenty of time before we go out for dinner,” Major Charles suggested, gesturing toward the door
Sensing a red flag go up, Michael, waited until his parents were out of sight, before heading to Jarod’s room. It had been painfully obvious to him, the depths that Jarod had been suffering from the after effects of the hallucinogen all day, but he also understood his deep desire for privacy concerning his mental health. What he had found particularly sad was that his brother had been desperately trying to hide the truth of his frightening situation from his own family. At least, hiding it from everyone he could, except his clone. Yet there seemed to be a definite undercurrent of something else unsettling going on, and he was determined to get to the bottom of it, for all of their sakes.
*
Jarod’s room moments later…
“Jarod don’t!” Michael shouted, as he pushed open the door and saw the knife in his hand deliberately angled at his wrist.
“What the????? Haven’t you ever heard of knocking,” Jarod said angrily, as he grabbed the towel that had been draped across the night stand, and started blotting at the blood on his wrist.
“What were you trying to do with that knife?” Michael countered, just as angrily, in an accusatory voice.
“Taking out my stitches,” the pretender said absently, inspecting the damage. “Luckily, I’m not going to need any new ones,” he said, looking up into the worried eyes of his clone. “What did you think I was doing, trying to slit my wrists?” he asked, hating how the whole thing must have looked to his younger self.
“Well, now that you mention it, yes. This may come as news to you, but you haven’t exactly been the most stable person I’ve ever known, Jarod. In fact, your doctor called a little bit ago and upset our dad. Do you want to tell me what that was all about, or should I just take my best guess?” he asked, sitting down in the nearest chair, indicating he wasn’t leaving until Jarod talked.
Jarod let out a long sigh, nervously running his fingers through his hair trying to decide what to say.
“You’ve been having flashbacks all day, haven’t you?” Michael offered, trying to get his reluctant brother to talk.
Jarod, met his clone’s eyes briefly, then dropped his gaze uncomfortably, letting the silence hang between them. “I had no idea it was so easy for you to read me. I haven’t told anyone about that,” he said almost inaudibly.
“That’s just it, isn’t it? I’m pretty new at this, but I don’t think that is how family is supposed to work. Jarod, if you don’t tell anyone what is going on with you, they’re going to conjure up all kinds of crazy things to worry about. Does Sydney know what a difficult time you’re having?”
“That’s almost laughable. No. I spent most of my time with him, trying to convince him I wasn’t going to slit my throat.”
“Are you?”
“Of course not! Damn, that must have been what the phone call was all about,” he said, giving out a painful groan. “How could he do that to my folks?” he asked, shaking his head as he left the room, his clone tagging along at a distance.
***
6:35 PM
“Hi, Em, have you seen mom and dad?” Jarod asked, keeping his voice from betraying his deep apprehension, as he entered the livingroom.
“They went for a walk on the beach. That shirt looks really great on you, Jarod; looks like a perfect fit,” Emily said with satisfaction, as she left her chair. “Guess I better get dressed, too. Sure wouldn’t want to be late for the big event.”
“This whole day has been a big event. Thanks again for the shirt,” Jarod said distractedly, heading into the kitchen. Looking through the blinds, he felt a shroud of dread come over him, as he spotted his parents coming up the walkway toward the cabana.
Squaring his shoulders, the pretender made his way through the sliding glass door onto the patio, hit by a wave of stifling heat and assaulted by the intense smell of the salty brine.
Feeling suddenly nauseous, he studied his parents’ body language as they approached, hurriedly simming the situation from all sides, trying to decide what to say.
Perhaps there was some truth in what Michael had said, yet Jarod was more convinced that the last thing either of them needed was a steady diet of his latest problems. Vacillating on the point, he mused that having his own family was turning out to be the most complicated thing he had ever experienced, unlike his Pretends where he brought people back together and then went his own way.
*
“Hi,” he started with a thin smile. “Michael just told me that Sydney called. I promise you, things are not as bad as he may have led you to believe. Why don’t we all sit down for a moment and have a talk,” Jarod said with a wide gesture, trying for a reassuring smile. He loathed the way he was shaking, nearly undone by the look on their troubled faces.
“You wouldn’t purposefully leave us, would you, Sweetheart?” his mother asked, with tears in her eyes.
“Of course not, Mom. I assure you, I would never do anything like that. It’s hard to put into words how much I love you. And Emily and Michael, too. I’m going to get married, for heaven’s sake. You have to understand that I was so doped up on drugs yesterday, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing.”
“Mom, all I’ve ever wanted my whole life, was to be with my family and to find out who I really am. Though I’m not feeling well today, being with you is like a dream come true. I don’t blame Sydney for being cautious, but there’s no excuse for him unnecessarily alarming you. I promise you, I’m doing just fine.”
“Are you, son? You better be straight with me. I know you had at least one anxiety attack today, and you look like walking death.”
“John, for heaven’s sake. That’s no way to talk to your son.”
“It’s all right, Mom, I deserved that,” he said, letting out a long sigh, hating having to explain the rest. “I’ve been experiencing some moderately severe after effects from the hallucinogen I was on yesterday. I, um, had a terrifying flash back in the bathroom this morning, that precipitated the anxiety attack that dad was talking about. Since then, I’ve had four more; the latest one was just about an hour ago,” he said, studying the texture of the patio tiles.
“I’m sorry, Jarod, I didn’t mean to be so rough on you. I had no idea,” Major Charles said, as his wife stood and took a place on the bench Jarod was sitting on.
“Bless your heart, Jarod. Maybe we should postpone dinner and meet Miss Parker when you are feeling better,” she said, taking his hand in hers.
“No, Mom, that won’t be necessary. They’re hardly affecting me now. I imagine they’ll continue to taper off like they did the other day,” Jarod said, startled when she leaned into him and gave him a lingering hug. Hardly daring to take a breath, Jarod closed his eyes, receiving, the comfort and love he had never known as a child or grown-up until now.
“What have your flashbacks been like, Jarod?” John asked, stricken that he had had no idea what his son had been going through.
Jarod lowered his eyes and swallowed hard, wondering if he was doing the right thing by being so transparent with his folks.
“Sorry, Dad, I’d rather not…dwell on them any more, if you don’t mind,” he said, meeting his eyes for a fleeting moment.
“Um, it’s getting late, I need to get going,” Jarod said, feeling emotionally naked in front of his parents.
“Son, wait just a minute. I’d rather not have to bring this up now, but I don’t think you should be using the car, considering your flashbacks and so forth. I’d never forgive myself if you…”
“I know,” Jarod said, squeezing the bridge of his nose with his trembling hand. ”Another thing to thank Lyle for,” he said bitterly. “Don’t worry, Dad, I’m picking up Parker in a cab,” he said glancing at his watch again. “It should be waiting outside right now. I’ll see you in just a minute,” he said, giving both of them a nervous smile before abruptly heading through the sliding glass door, disappearing inside the cabana.
“John, do you think he’s all right?” Margaret asked, nervously searching her husband’s face.
“I hope so. He just seems understandably nervous and tired, to me. Sydney said depression was the warning sign to look for; something about the after effects of LSD, and I don’t see any signs of that. Besides, he’s starting to become more willing to be honest in discussing what’s really going on with him. I think it’s a good sign. Like Jarod said, he has so much to live for now; I can’t believe he’d throw it all away. Let’s just keep a close eye on him, and play it by ear.”
“It’s really bothering me, the way Jarod is throwing himself at that woman, considering how emotionally unstable he is. John, you know as well as I do, he can’t be thinking straight, with all those flashbacks and his severe nerves. Why don’t you have a talk with him, after his date tonight. Surely there’s some way you can explain to him that he has no business getting married until he’s had time to recuperate.”
“Margaret, that’s exactly what I told him the other day, but after a lengthy discussion with Jarod’s doctor, I changed my mind. I know that Jarod’s having a setback right now. God only knows how he managed to survive being drugged again considering a similar drug sent him into deep psychosis for weeks and these kinds of drugs seem to loosen the mind. But Sydney insisted that Jarod was not mentally incapacitated any more. He’ll probably bounce back like he did the other day. I’m not sure we have the right to interfere.”
“Oh John how can you say that after his doctor informed us that he almost committed suicide yesterday. Obviously, things have changed for Jarod since you had that talk. Come on John, open your eyes. Please talk to him, he needs our help.”
“If you don’t mind, I’d like to make a suggestion,” Michael said shyly, stepping away from the wall where he’s been standing. “Jarod and Miss Parker may have some kind of natural affection for each other, but I’m afraid it runs much deeper than that. I overheard Raines’ discussion with a molecular geneticists at Donoterase, about the work done through gene manipulation guaranteeing their physical attraction to each other. I believe it would be disastrous for Jarod, if you stood in the way of their coupling. From what I overheard, I don’t believe either of them know the truth,” Michael said, in what he hoped would be a simplified explanation they would understand.
“My God, how could the Centre have done such an unholy thing?”
***
Miss Parker’s cabana 5 minutes later…
“Jarod, come in,” Andy Marie said, trying to stifle a laugh. “Great shirt, Jarod. Is that left over from one of your pretends?” she teased, wondering why he was wearing such a ridiculously gaudy shirt.
“It was a present from my sister, Emily. She selected it for me to wear tonight,” he said, his eyes boring into hers. “It’s nice, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. I’m sorry. It’s just that…”
“I know,” Jarod said, finally breaking into a smile. “I thought the same thing when I saw it. Give it a chance, Parker, it’ll grow on you,” he said leaning in with passionate kiss.
“Mmmm, it’s starting to look better to me already,” she said, giving him a seductive once over. “What do you think?” she asked nervously, turning slightly in her new dress. “Will I pass inspection?”
“With flying colors,” Jarod said, eyeing her beautiful curves, ice blue eyes, and alluring lips. “Mmm, you even taste good,” he said playfully, pulling her into another embrace and pressing her warm body close to his.
“Why don’t we skip dinner and go straight for dessert,” Parker said, breathlessly, as Jarod nibbled on her ear.
“You have no idea how tempting that is, but, um, my parents are waiting,” he offered feebly, feeling the deep desire he’d been denied for so long almost getting the best of him. “You’re not going to get out of meeting my mom and Emily that easy.”
***
The Charles cabana
7:20 PM
“I was wondering when you’d two get here. I was beginning to think I’d been mistaken and was supposed to meet you two at the restaurant,” he said, scrutinizing their flushed faces and some smeared lipstick on Jarod’s neck.
“Sorry, Dad. We got hung up in traffic,” Jarod said, barely able to keep a straight face, as he fastened a stray button on his shirt he had missed.
“Traffic? Her cabana’s only a quarter of a mile away.”
“Um, Mom, this is Andy Marie Parker, my fiancée,” he said with a big smile, gently steering her closer to his mom.
“I’m so happy to meet you, Miss Parker. Jarod, she’s just lovely.”
“Parker, this is my sister, Emily,” Jarod offered, frightened that they might place her in Boston, as one of the Centre operatives that had prevented them from being reunited..
“Hi, Andy, I can’t wait to get to know you,” his sister said, giving her brother a reassuring wink.
“I guess you already know my Dad and Michael, who you probably remember as Gemini,” Jarod said, glad that introductions were over. “Well, we better get going. I hope everyone is hungry.”
“Starving is more like it,” Michael said, anxious to get the show on the road.
***
The Brown Booby Inn
7:35 PM
Well, so far so good, Jarod thought, as his party was escorted through the dim smoky lights to their seats in full view of a pianist playing softly on a grand piano.
“Great atmosphere, Booby,” Miss Parker teased, as he pulled out her seat slightly and she gracefully sat down.
“Come on, Parker. It’s a clever name for a restaurant. Brown Booby is an indigenous gull-like bird, that frequents nesting islands specifically in this area. Spanish sailors called them bobo, or stupid, considering how fickled the weather on the islands is, where they trustingly build their nests. Consider it a name with historical significance.”
“How on earth did you know that piece of trivia?” Emily asked, amazed by her brother’s incredible wealth of knowledge.
“I ran into a retired fisherman walking the beach, on my way back from my visit with Sydney this afternoon,” he said, glancing up at the waitress approaching their table.
“Good evening. My name is Kim. I will be serving you tonight,” the vivacious Polynesian waitress said, as she passed out their menus then ice water. “Our specialties tonight are : Grilled sea bass wrapped in cornhusks with maque choux, ancho-fired flank steak, with grilled smashed potatoes, and smoky plank-cooked chicken on pineapple with grilled cherry tomatoes drenched in our special sun dressing.”
“For your appetizer may I recommend our coconut shrimp and papaya satays.
“What do you all think? Should we give the satays a try?” Jarod asked, receiving a resounding affirmative. “Yes, that will be fine.”
“I’ll give you a chance to look over your menus, for a moment, while I bring you your complementary drinks.”
*
“Here we go, these are courtesy of the house, “ Kim said, passing out the coconut drinks. “Are you ready to order or would you like a little more time?”
“Hmmm, a tropical fruit drink in a coconut shell, with miniature parasols and assorted fruit on a sword,” he said, taking a deep draw on the straw. “It’s very refreshing,” Jarod said to the waitress, then took another long draw on his straw..
“Jarod, I believe that’s an alcoholic drink.”
“Mmmm, no wonder it burned all the way down,” Jarod said, giving his “bride to be” a flirtatious smile.
“No you don’t Jarod, we’ve already been down that road and it was a disaster,” she said gently, removing the drink from his hand.
It only took one sip of their drinks for Margaret and Major Charles to figure out what Miss Parker was doing, as they watched her put their son’s drink aside and whisper something in his ear, causing him to smile.
“Are you ready to order now ma’am?” their waitress reiterated, stepping between the two.
“I’ll have the sea bass,” Miss Parker said, then deferring to Jarod.
“Sir?
“I’ll have the same,” he said distractedly not really caring what he ate. Looking around the table, he felt a thrill of excitement, being surrounded by the people he loved.
***
In no time at all, everyone was having a great time, sharing stories of how they alluded the Centre and all the crazy professions they had had.
The tiny shish-ka-bob type appetizers were a big hit, especially with Michael who was ravenous and couldn’t understand why adults waited until so late in the evening to eat.
By the time the entrees came, everyone had gotten to know Parker surprisingly well, and found her very intriguing, considering her very precarious background with the Centre. What struck them all, was her having been coerced into retrieving Jarod, and how may times her cleverness had helped him get away.
After the entrees were passed out, Margaret had insisted on having a prayer of thanks, which reminded Parker of how her own mother had done the same thing so many years ago.
*
Well into the meal…
“Excuse me for a moment,” Jarod said, knocking over his water as he abruptly left his seat and headed toward the foyer.
Miss Parker slid her chair out and started to follow him, but Major Charles cut her off.
“Let me handle this, for now,” John said with a tense smile, as he left the room to find his son, who had looked like he was going to be ill.
***
“Jarod?” his dad inquired as he approached, relieved to find his son still upright, sitting beside the front windows at the bar in a padded chair.
“Oh, hi, Dad,” he said in a quiet voice, letting his head rest heavily against the back of the chair. “I didn’t mean to cause such a scene. Guess it was an error in judgement thinking I could handle going out tonight, after feeling ill on and off all day,” he said, suddenly leaning his head in his hand and falling silent for a moment. “Good way to make a fool out of my self, don’t you think?” he said more than asked, bitterly.
“Jarod, don’t be so hard on yourself. Everyone is having a wonderful dinner and I think Parker won your mother’s heart. You had another flashback, didn’t you?”
“They should have let up by now,” he said quietly, letting out a frustrated sigh.
“I think it would be wise if you called it a night after dinner, instead of going out on a date. Miss Parker will understand. She cares very deeply about you. Son, listen to me. It’s all right to take care of yourself. You’re special and deserve to be treated with dignity and love,” his father said, saddened that Jarod didn’t seem to believe that, after all his years in captivity.
“Um, I’m feeling better now, Dad, why don’t we go back to our seats. I’d hate to have everyone miss dessert,” he said, with a shy smile, his coloring beginning to return to normal.
“If that’s what you want. Son,” Major Charles said, hoping he would take his advice and go straight home after he dropped Parker off.
***
Miss Parker’s Cabana..
“I want to stay,” Jarod repeated staring at her with his big brown eyes, hating the look of pity in her eyes.
“We can get together later. I don’t want to see you again until you gotten some rest. Don’t look at me that way; I can tell by looking at you that you’re dead on your feet. Why don’t you take a few days to catch up on your sleep. I promise, I’m not going anywhere,” she said, leaning in and giving her run down counterpart a reassuring kiss.
****
Charles’ cabana 10:45 PM…
“Jarod, I’m glad you decided to come home early. We had a wonderful time tonight. Everything was perfect and Miss Parker seems very nice.”
“Thanks, Mom,” he said loosening his tie, feeling deeply depressed. “If you two don’t mind, I’m just going to go on to bed.”
“Of course we don’t mind. I think we’re going to turn in now, too. It’s been a big day for all of us. Good night, Son.”
***
Jarod’s bedroom moments later…
Jarod slipped out of his clothes and hung up what didn’t need to be washed. Then he padded his way to the bathroom and threw cold water on his face for several moments, trying to calm down. Looking up for a hand towel, he caught sight of himself in the mirror and quickly averted his eyes, not able to stand the sight of himself.
After brushing his teeth, he rummaged through one of his drawers, finding the Thorozine he had carelessly tossed inside when he had hurriedly unpacked this morning.
Pouring the entire contents of the bottle in his hand, he stood staring at the huge pile of orange pills for what seemed like an eternity, before selecting only 3 and putting the rest back in the bottle. The clinical side of his brain reminded him that he was upset and extremely depressed right now, but that this too would pass. Getting sleep was key.
“Damn, you’ve got to pull yourself together,” he whispered, as he downed the heavy dose and padded his way over to his bed, trying not to think of how foolish he must have looked to Parker tonight.
Physician, heal thine self, he mused, as he slipped under the cool sheets and adjusted his pillow to the angle he liked. As he dropped off to sleep he could hear his own words echoing in his head, “No, Mom, I would never do that…never do that.
***
Charles cabana
Friday 10:23 AM
“Jarod was awake, if you could call it that, for a while around 7:30 AM. He ate a little breakfast with us and then went back to bed. I just peeked in on him a little bit ago and he was sound asleep. He’s just completely worn out.”
“I’m glad he’s finally getting some rest, but keep an eye on him. Sometimes sleep can be used as a way to withdrawal. Unless he shows any other signs of depression like we discussed, tell him it’s unnecessary to come down this afternoon. I’d rather have him get some meaningful rest. When I talked to him yesterday, it was obvious to me he was suffering from acute exhaustion. I’m sorry, on second thought, I think I’ll drop by later anyway. I don’t want to take any chances with him, after what happened Wednesday.”
*
Jarod’s room around noon
“Jarod, Mom wanted me to check with you and see if you wanted any lunch. Jarod?” he repeated, as he stepped over to the sleeping form of his brother, and giving his shoulder a little shake.
“Hmmm, what do you want?” Jarod mumbled, his eyes at half mast.
“Mom was wondering if you wanted any lunch. Are you all right?” he asked suspiciously, wondering why he seemed so out of it and noticing his dilated pupils.
“Oh, um, I’m fine. Just trying to catch up on my sleep,” he said groggily, slipping out of bed and pulling on his black pants. “I’ll be right out.”
***
Jarod’s room 12:34
After a brief appearance at the dinning room table, Jarod excused himself obsessed with going back to sleep. Hurriedly downing 3 more pills, he slipped back under the covers, wanting to forget about reality for a while. He hoped that if he could catch up on enough sleep, he’d be better equipped to get his life back on track, but subconsciously there was really more to it than that.
Tossing and turning, he was tormented by a mired of negative thoughts, that seemed to be attacking him from all sides. Punching his pillow angrily, he futilely tried to quiet his mind that was stuck on overdrive. Too agitated to fall back to sleep, he threw back the covers and headed back to the bathroom his depression spiraling out of control. Solemnly, he stared at himself in the mirror feeling shear hopelessness, as he came to the realization that he would continue to cause his mom and dad nothing but grief. Weaving slightly, he suffered another severe flashback sending him straight over the edge.
About a half an hour later, Michael decided to check on his brother again. He had a gnawing feeling that something was terribly wrong.
Entering Jarod’s room, he tried to wake him, but it was a lost cause. After looking around the room, he made his way to the bathroom and spotted an empty Thorozine bottle on the floor. Returning to the still form, he realized Jarod was barely breathing.
