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I do not own the Pretender or any of the characters. They belong to NBC, Pretender Productions, and others. I'm just borrowing them for my Pretender fanfic story. No money has or will be made off this story. Please don't sue me, as I have no money. This story is purely for entertainment and promotion of my favorite show, The Pretender!
Jarod is in a psychiatric hospital struggling to regain his sanity with the help of his former captor/mentor, Sydney, who had defied the Centre and risked his life in the process. A Centre directive has now placed Miss Parker's life in imminent danger and has sent her on a collision course with the truths she has refused, with every part of her being, to believe. 3/14/00
In Pursuit Of Happiness
Part 10
by jojarod50
Menninger Psychiatric Hospital
Overland Park, Kansas
Room 319
6:30 am
The minute he woke up, Jarod headed for the shower. He knew his father would be back to visit him today, some time after his talk with Sydney.
Throwing on his robe and drying his hair briskly with a towel, he thought about Sydney. He's doing everything he can to help me, but Jarod wondered darkly if he'd ever be able to recover his mind. No you don't. It's going to be all right. It's just going to take a little time.
Jarod studied his face in the mirror and didn't like what he saw. He noted the dark circles under his sunken eyes and gaunt features. I'm going to have to start eating and sleeping more, he thought. Breaking into a big smile, he remembered the Butterfinger Blizzard his dad had brought him last night.
A knock at the door startled Jarod out of his thoughts, and he hurried off to see who it was.
"Jarod, here's the razor you requested. How's everything going this morning? You're sure up bright and early," Allen, the day nurse said, stepping into the room and proffering the razor.
"I'm going to see my dad sometime today," Jarod said gleaming with pride.
"I didn't know you had any family, Jarod," the nurse said noticing his excitement. "Better keep a steady hand with that razor. You don't want to end up with tissue all over you face," Allen joked escorting Jarod to the bathroom.
"They don't trust me alone with a razor, do they," Jarod commented with a wane smile as he lathered up.
"Yeah well, I have to go by the chart. Say, where did you get that gold ring?" Allen asked quickly changing the subject.
Jarod stopped for a moment to show Allen the "Circle of Fire" ring his dad had given him last night.
"My father gave it to me."
"Hey, that's sharp. What does the crown stand for?"
"That was his military unit in the Air Force," Jarod said as he went back to his shaving.
After a few moments rinsing, Jarod wiped his face off with a towel and offered the razor to Allen.
"Well, here's your razor back and I didn't even slit my throat," Jarod said with slight irritation.
"No, but you nicked yourself twice,"Allen observed trying to keep things light.
"Well, the numbers keep going down," Jarod retorted with a slight smile.
"Have a great visit with you father," Allen said relieved to see Jarod upbeat and rational.
"I will," Jarod said, as he got ready to head for the cafeteria, promising himself to eat something today.
* * *
Interstate 435 at the Anderson Mall exit
Sydney took the morning off from work, as he was at the hospital all day and again in the evening with Jarod the day before.
After some much-needed sleep and a quick breakfast, he and Major Charles were off and running. Sydney and the Major had been having an in-depth conversation about Jarod's state of mind and what he had and hadn't remembered to date. Apparently, Jarod still had no recollection of Gemini, which would be understandable considering how profoundly it had affected him when he had discovered the Centre had cloned him. Being so protective of children and knowing what had probably been done to that boy was probably something his mind still wasn't ready to deal with. Sydney planned to drop the Major off at the mall to pick up a few things for Jarod and, while the Major was there, he wanted to swing around to the hospital to visit with Jarod. He would meet with Miss Parker and Broots later.
Sydney was elated to have the Major, Miss Parker and Broots here, but deep down inside, he was having trouble fighting off his fear that the Centre would soon be on their heels.
Shaking off his worried thoughts, Sydney gave Major Charles a sidelong look of amused frustration as they inched their way through the snarled rush hour traffic and into the shopping mall parking lot.
"Guess this puts us behind schedule," the Major said giving Sydney a guilty look.
"It might take me a while to pick up some things for Jarod, but I'll probably be at the hospital around noon or so," the Major said with a big smile as he thought about seeing his son.
"I'm really grateful for the time we've had together. It's been along time since I've had anyone to really talk to," the psychiatrist confessed.
"It's been a long time for me, too," the Major said, remembering all the sleepless nights he had endured since losing Jarod again. Gemini was a wonderful son and companion for him, yet he would never burden the child with the more weighty matters.
Sydney, thanks for all you're doing for Jarod," Major Charles said giving Sydney a squeeze on the arm and hopping out of the car." "You're certainly welcome, Major, I'll see you later at the hospital," Sydney said, as the Major left and hurried off down the sidewalk.
* * *
Menniger Hospital
Patient Cafeteria
"Jarod, I missed you last night at supper. I heard you were having a hard time. I'm really sorry," a pretty young girl named Aimee said smiling at him shyly, a hint of worry showing in her eyes.
"Oh, that," Jarod said, looking down at his sausage and stabbing it forcibly. "Aimee, it really wasn't a big deal. Don't worry about it, ok?" Jarod said hoping she'd drop it right there.
Aimee's eyes met his and she smiled brightly, though one look at him told her it must have been pretty bad.
"Sure, Jarod. Sometimes I forget how much people love to exaggerate about things around here."
After a few minutes of silence, she looked back over at Jarod who was pushing his other sausage around on his plate with a big grin on his face totally lost in thought.
"You know, there's something different about you today, Jarod. What's going on? I've never seen you this happy."
"My father came to visit me last night and he's coming back sometime today," he said looking up at her with his big brown eyes.
"Jarod, I didn't know you had any family. You never mentioned it before."
"I just couldn't remember for a while." Jarod said trying to drink his orange juice and almost spilling it, as he hand started to shake.
"You better calm down, Jarod, or you'll be wearing your breakfast," Aimee teased giving him a wink."
Jarod slammed the glass down and ran his fingers through his unruly hair.
"Jarod, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you," she said, her dove gray eyes filling with tears.
Realizing what he had done, Jarod took Aimee's hand and gave it a little squeeze.
"I'm sorry, it's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. It's just that I….. I just can't…. Look, I'll see you later," Jarod said grabbing his tray and leaving without another word.
* * *
Miss Parker and Broots rental home
Overland Park, Kansas
Miss Parker sat on the balcony off her bedroom, sipping tea and watching the sun climb above a single bank of clouds, which was the only remnant from last night's thunderstorm.
She was glad Broots was probably still asleep, giving her time to try to sort things out. It's funny, she thought, that she had spent all those years chasing Jarod with a vengeance, and now, she just wanted to be with him and maybe help him find some happiness. She felt nauseous, as she remembered the DSA of everything Jarod had been through, and fought off the fearful thoughts that it might be too late to help him. Remembering what Broots told her, about Sydney's reaction to the news that she was here, made her feel unclean. She closed her eyes attempting to block her memories of Jarod's frantic expression when she was almost capturing him and ended up with his father, the day they rescued Gemini.
She got up and walked over to the balcony rail and gazed at the house-studded hillside. He'll be afraid of me. I've made myself his enemy. How can I ever change that?
Memories of all the times Jarod had reached out to her flooded her mind. She hoped some where in his heart he could find a way to forgive her for her relentless cruelty toward him.
Looking at her watch, she realized she better get dressed. Sydney was going to be here in a few hours and she had some things to take care of first.
* * *
The Centre
Blue Cove, Delaware
Mr. Parker's office
"You've got to be kidding. What do you mean it was a dead end. I thought Mr. White had proof that they were in Florida." Mr. Parker left his chair and went to his wet bar to pour himself a drink.
"You better not turn this into another big fiasco, Lyle, or Big Mutumbo will have you tracked down like an animal and it won't matter who's son you are," Mr. Parker hissed slamming down the phone.
* * *
Menninger Hospital
Room 319
8:14 AM
Jarod was at the dresser combing his hair when Sydney came in. Dropping the comb, he spun around with a fearful expression on his face.
"I'm sorry, Jarod. I didn't mean to startle you. I'll knock a little louder next time," Sydney said giving him a sympathetic look.
Jarod just shook his head and walked over to the window.
"You could prescribe something for that. I can barely take a drink any more the way my hands shake and I'm getting sick and tired to of nearly jumping out of my skin."
"I have noticed a dramatic increase of your startle response in the last 24 hours, Jarod. I agree that your symptoms of hyperarousal need to be dealt with. I've been wrestling with that very thing. Perhaps we can try you on some Thorozine. I'm reluctant to put you on a minor tranquilizer, because of their addictive properties and more significantly, the way they quickly become a crutch."
"Don't you think I already know that," Jarod exploded. "You're treating me like I'm an idiot. And another thing, why do you have me on suicide watch, Sydney? I would never do anything like that and you know it. Whatever problems I'm having now aren't really any different than what I've managed to live with my entire life, and I'm sure not emotionally ill."
"I'm afraid that's not true at all, Jarod. There are things you are not aware of concerning your illness and I believe you're also experiencing a good measure of denial. You've been suffering from amnesia and only yesterday retrieved, let me emphasize some of your memory. I don't know exactly what you remember, but you have eluded to suicide several times during you stay here as well as at the other hospital."
"The other hospital?" Jarod said turning around with a sick look on his face. "I don't remember that."
"No Jarod, I'm sure you don't," Sydney said fighting not to show the deep pain of those memories.
The blood drained from Jarod's face.
"How long have I been here, Sydney? Jarod asked, his eyes darting around the room.
"You've been here several weeks, Jarod. Does that seem about right to you?"
Jarod seemed lost in thought. He stood there tugging on the belt to his robe for a few moments and then just walked off toward the closet opened it and stood there staring straight ahead.
Sydney observed him for a few minutes to see what he would do next. When he did nothing more, Sydney walked over to Jarod and spoke.
"Jarod, what are you doing?"
"Oh, I was just…I don't know," Jarod said obviously very confused.
"That's alright, Jarod. I'm sure you just lost your train of thought."
"Jarod you're going to have to trust my judgement, as far as your treatment is concerned, until you are better. It's impossible for you to be objective right now. I'm sorry to be so blunt with you, but I want you to get better and you're just going to have to cooperate with me so that can happen."
Jarod just stood there entirely speechless.
„Jarod, I have suspicions that you are starting to remember things about what happened to you. The night nurse has documented your night terrors and severe nightmares. That incident in the cafeteria last night was one of many flashbacks you’ve had about what happened to you, wasn’t it? Jarod, even your the memories don’t make sense, we need to talk about them; you know that better than anyone. Please help me help you," Sydney pleaded, noticing that his patient was still just standing there, totally unresponsive.
„ Jarod, it says on your chart that last night you suffered extremely disturbing nightmares and that you were found screaming the name Miss Parker. How long has this been going on?"
„I don’t know. For a while, I guess," Jarod said looking at the floor.
Jarod rubbed his hand over his face and started to pace.
"I see…graphic images… of Miss Parker…there's…blood everywhere," he said with difficulty. I think there's someone being beaten…no…I'm not sure," Jarod said quietly sitting down on his bed. "I remember there was a tray…Hypos…no, yes…and leather straps… I can't talk about this," Jarod said getting up and moving to the windows fighting to catch his breath.
"Jarod, you're hyperventilating. Slow down your…"
"I know… that… Sydney…why don't you," Jarod said bitterly, his words trailing off, as he sank into one of the chairs.
After a few minutes, Jarod spoke again.
"Miss Parker was really shot, wasn't she?" Jarod said looking up with fear in his eyes.
"Yes, Jarod, but she is much better, now."
"Thank goodness," Jarod whispered, "I thought…she was dead."
Jarod sat in silence, his head in his hands, then spoke quietly.
"I see blurred images…horrible things," he said struggling to keep his breathing steady. "I was captured again, wasn't I Sydney," Jarod said angrily, wrapping his arms around himself.
"Yes, Jarod, you were," Sydney said simply.
"I was given drugs too?"
"Several and an overdose of one in particular, that is causing you the most trouble," the psychiatrist said carefully evaluating Jarod's reaction.
"I'm tired, Sydney. I want to be alone for a while," Jarod said, looking away.
"I'm not sure that would be a good idea right now. You don't have to talk to me anymore, but I would rather stay," Sydney said sitting down in the other chair by the window and opening Jarod's chart.
Jarod didn't say anything else. He just went over to his bed and laid down facing the wall.
* * *
Hospital recreation room
12:00 noon
Jarod was standing near some maintenance workers, watching them install a lighting bar with several lamps attached to it in the recreation room. Wondering why the lighting bar had given him such a horrible feeling of dread, he searched his mind for an answer that just wasn't there
"Hey Jarod. Sorry man, didn't mean ta startle ya. Ya helpin those guys or do ya want to check out the new Air Combat 3 video game? I'll play ya for the five candy bars you won off me a couple of days ago, but I'm not playin ping pong with ya any more. Got that?"
"I'm not sure, Gaelan," Jarod said, his eyes wandering to the lighting bar and then back to him.
Gaelan gave Jarod a skeptical look.
"Jarod, you don't look so good, even for you. You've been talkin to that shrink of yours again, haven't ya."
Jarod eyes drifted back to the lighting bar.
Gaelan patted Jarod on the back. Come on boy, you need ta tell him ya need a day off. That's what I do with mine. Here, I'll show ya how ta play that game, but ya better not try too hard. Lunch stinks today and I'm going ta need those candy bars back," Gaelan said ushering Jarod over to the game center.
* * *
Miss Parker and Broots rental home
Overland Park, Kansas
1:30 PM
"That wouldn't be good for Jarod right now. He's having a very difficult time at the moment and I can't see putting him under any more emotional stress. He's already walking a very thin line. Why don't you wait until tomorrow and let me see how he does. If the rest of his day is uneventful, it will probably be fine. I just discovered that he has been secretly trying to deal with horrible flashbacks of you being shot. I believe he actually thought you were dead. I told him you are fine, but seeing you may help allay his fears. I'm afraid the after effect of that drug overdose has seriously undermined his psychological stability and coping skills.
Miss Parker closed her eyes as she digested what Sydney was telling them.
"Is Jarod going to be all right, Sydney?" Miss Parker asked almost choking on the words.
"Jarod is a real fighter. I'd say anyone else who would have gone through what he did, would have to be locked in a padded cell for the rest of his life. Jarod's still experiencing some psychotic moments, but moreover, he's improving every day. He doesn't really understand how ill he is and is very angry and impatient to get on with his life. He's going to need a lot of love and support to make it through this. But, I believe he will."
"That's su sure a relief to hear," Broots said with as big smile. "After watching what Lyle di did to Jarod on that DSA, I never thought he would, well, I sure feel better now. I think the coffee is done. Would anyone like some?"
"That would be very nice, Broots. Make mine black, please."
"Nothing for me, Broots," Miss Parker said walking over to the balcony rail.
"How are you doing, Miss Parker? Broots told me you have severed relations with the Centre. I care deeply about you, Parker, as if you were my own daughter. I just want you to know I'm here if you want to talk about it."
Miss Parker turned around to face Sydney with tears beginning to form in her eyes.
"He ordered my mother's death. My own father! And I have spent my entire life doing everything I could to gain that bastard's approval. How could I've possibly been that blind?" she said he voice breaking. I went along with every evil plans of his, right down to tracking Jarod all over kingdom come, as if he deserved that."
"Miss Parker, it's not as if you had any real choice, or any of us for that matter. Complying with the Centre has always been a life or death decision. Perhaps we've all slit our throats by being here now," he said giving her a wane smile.
"It's different this time. A house divided will fall. The Centre is no longer an impregnable force, and by God, it's going down."
"Strong words, Parker. I remember saying something to that effect recently myself."
"Um, excuse me, he here's your coffee, Sydney."
"Broots, our discussion has taken a very interesting turn," Sydney said taking a sip of his coffee.
* * *
Menninger Hospital
Room 319
3:30
Sydney knocked and entered Jarod's room and found himself face to face with his patient standing there dressed in black jeans, a black T-shirt, and black shoes, taking a big gulp from what appeared to be another Blizzard shake.
"Hi Sydney, my dad is here," Jarod said grinning, casting a glance toward the Major, who had planted himself in one of the chairs by the window.
"He looks pretty good, doesn't he, if I do say so myself," the Major said standing up and crossing over to where the two of them stood. "I think Jarod has had enough of those hospital clothes for a while."
"I must say, Jarod, you look more like your old self again," Sydney said with a pleased expression.
"Thanks. I'm, um, sorry I gave you a hard time this morning, it's just that…"
"Jarod, I'm your doctor. I can see what you're going through. You don't owe me an apology, by any means. Your reactions are perfectly understandable."
"Sydney, if you two need to talk, I can leave for a little while."
"I don't think that will be necessary. Perhaps we can shorten our talk this after noon, and you can spend more time with your father. What do you say, Jarod?"
"It's strange that you should say that," Jarod said with a puzzled look on his face. Glancing at his father, Jarod quickly added," That will be just fine."
Sydney sat down and briefly went over Jarod's chart.
"Jarod, it looks like you have had two doses of Thorozine. How are you doing with it?"
"It seems alright. It makes my mouth dry, though," Jarod said sitting down on his bed and taking a sip of his Blizzard.
"Yes, that's a common side effect. I'm sorry, you probably know that already. If it's not causing you any other problems, we'll keep you on it for a while and see if it helps keep you anxiety level more manageable. I started you on a rather high dose. We can always adjust it if there are any problems."
"Thank you, Sydney."
"I see you went down to the rec. room for a while. How did that go?"
Jarod thought about the new lighting that was being installed there and started tugging on the bed spread fringe. Noticing what Jarod was doing, Sydney realized that something was wrong.
"Jarod, what happened in the rec. room?"
"Not much. I played video games with Gaelen and won 5 candy bars."
"Was he mad at you for winning?"
"Of course not; but he was hungry, so I gave them back," Jarod said sipping on his shake again.
"Ok Jarod," Sydney said, continuing to observe him.
"It says here that you failed to show up at lunch again," Sydney said with a knowing look, spying some hamburger wrappers in the trash. "Looks to me like you had something better to eat. I'll make a note of that."
"You've wasted no time in corrupting Jarod, have you, Major Charles?"
"I take my job as Jarod's parent very seriously."
"Anything else you want to discuss before I leave, Jarod?" Sydney asked, knowing Jarod was sidestepping something.
"Not right now, Sydney."
"Well, you two have a great afternoon. I'll check back this evening before I leave."
"Thank you, Sydney," the Major said shaking his hand and walking him to the door.
"Let me know if anything comes up. I'll be in the building," Sydney said under his breath.
"Don't worry, I will."
* * *
Menninger's Hospital
The next morning
Hospital foyer
8:05 AM
Sydney met with Miss Parker briefly before she went up to visit Jarod. He wanted to make sure she was as prepared as she could be for the types of things that might come up during her visit. Jarod had had an uneventful evening and a fairly good nights sleep, so he felt this was as good a time as ever for them to see each other again. They had been at odds with each a painfully long time. As he stood there at the elevator watching the doors close behind her, he prayerfully hoped the two of them could finally begin to find some healing.
* * *
Jarod heard the soft knock at the door and immediately wished he were somewhere else. He knew that Miss Parker wanted to see him, but he would have given anything if it weren't like this. Reluctantly, he went to the door and opened it. There she stood, dressed in pastel pink and more beautiful than he could have ever remembered. He stood there mesmerized by her beauty.
"Jarod," Miss Parker half whispered half gasped, as she got her first look at him.
Jarod closed his eyes for a moment trying to erase the look of pity and shock he had seen flicker across her face.
"Miss Parker," Jarod said, motioning for her to come in. "You sure look better than the last time I saw you," he said managing a small smile. "Would you like to sit down?" he asked, glancing over at the two seats by the window.
"Thanks, Jarod," she said noticing how badly his hands shook, but keeping her eyes on his face.
"You're not going to change your mind and drag me back to the Centre, are you?" he said with a characteristic slight smirk on his face. Jarod didn't seriously think she would, but suddenly started having an anxiety attack.
"Jarod are you all right?" Miss Parker asked hurrying over to where he stood, worry etched across her face.
"I'm…all right, just give me a minute," Jarod said with a sick look on his face. "I've been doing this a lot lately. Just need to sit down," he said collapsing on the bed.
Miss Parker sat down by him and held his trembling hands until it passed.
It was then that she noticed the deep scaring encircling his wrists and gave an involuntary shutter.
"Not exactly how I thought things would go," Jarod said blushing fiercely with a hint of anger in his voice.
"I'm so sorry for what they did to you, Jarod."
"How do you know what they did to me when I hardly know myself," Jarod questioned her dreading the answer.
"Jarod, Broots stole the DSA from Lyle's office," she said, watching him get up and walk over to the window with an unsteady gate.
After a few minutes he turned back toward her.
"Lyle did this to me?"
"Lyle and Raines."
"I might have guessed as much," Jarod said sinking down in one of the chairs.
Miss Parker walked over and sat beside him and neither spoke for a little while.
"Jarod, I'm so sorry for all the pain I've caused you. I was wrong. I'll never be able to forgive myself," Miss Parker said her eyes welling up with tears.
Jarod took her hands in his, gently lifting her out of her seat and held her close to him.
"Listen to me. None of this is your fault. It's the Centre that destroys lives. They specialize in it. We're just part of the collateral damage. Sydney told me what you've been going through. I can see the pain in your eyes. If you want to talk about it, I'm a good listener." Jarod said looking deeply into her eyes.
"Don't Jarod."
"What?" Jarod asked genuinely confused.
"You really don't know, do you? My God, Jarod, look at you. After all they did to you, you're worried about me?"
"Well, you've been on my mind lately," Jarod said uncomfortably, stepping away and starting to straighten the room.
Miss Parker's heart sank as she watched him, remembering what Sydney had told her about his flash backs and how he had thought that she was dead.
"Jarod, it's a beautiful day, why don't we go for a walk."
"I don't know," Jarod said, glancing around the room.
"Trust me. It will do you a lot of good. I'm sure Sydney will sign for you. I think he said he was going to be in his office until 9:30." Jarod broke into a real smile as they headed out the door.
* * *
Angelo waited until everyone left the room before he stopped the video camera and hurried down the air duct toward his secrete room, where he would be able to send Broots the warning.
"Must help friends. Must not hurt Jarod and daughter. Must not find."
Jarod is in a psychiatric hospital struggling to regain his sanity with the help of his former captor/mentor, Sydney, who had defied the Centre and risked his life in the process. A Centre directive has now placed Miss Parker's life in imminent danger and has sent her on a collision course with the truths she has refused, with every part of her being, to believe. 3/14/00
Part 10
by jojarod50
Menninger Psychiatric Hospital
Overland Park, Kansas
Room 319
6:30 am
The minute he woke up, Jarod headed for the shower. He knew his father would be back to visit him today, some time after his talk with Sydney.
Throwing on his robe and drying his hair briskly with a towel, he thought about Sydney. He's doing everything he can to help me, but Jarod wondered darkly if he'd ever be able to recover his mind. No you don't. It's going to be all right. It's just going to take a little time.
Jarod studied his face in the mirror and didn't like what he saw. He noted the dark circles under his sunken eyes and gaunt features. I'm going to have to start eating and sleeping more, he thought. Breaking into a big smile, he remembered the Butterfinger Blizzard his dad had brought him last night.
A knock at the door startled Jarod out of his thoughts, and he hurried off to see who it was.
"Jarod, here's the razor you requested. How's everything going this morning? You're sure up bright and early," Allen, the day nurse said, stepping into the room and proffering the razor.
"I'm going to see my dad sometime today," Jarod said gleaming with pride.
"I didn't know you had any family, Jarod," the nurse said noticing his excitement. "Better keep a steady hand with that razor. You don't want to end up with tissue all over you face," Allen joked escorting Jarod to the bathroom.
"They don't trust me alone with a razor, do they," Jarod commented with a wane smile as he lathered up.
"Yeah well, I have to go by the chart. Say, where did you get that gold ring?" Allen asked quickly changing the subject.
Jarod stopped for a moment to show Allen the "Circle of Fire" ring his dad had given him last night.
"My father gave it to me."
"Hey, that's sharp. What does the crown stand for?"
"That was his military unit in the Air Force," Jarod said as he went back to his shaving.
After a few moments rinsing, Jarod wiped his face off with a towel and offered the razor to Allen.
"Well, here's your razor back and I didn't even slit my throat," Jarod said with slight irritation.
"No, but you nicked yourself twice,"Allen observed trying to keep things light.
"Well, the numbers keep going down," Jarod retorted with a slight smile.
"Have a great visit with you father," Allen said relieved to see Jarod upbeat and rational.
"I will," Jarod said, as he got ready to head for the cafeteria, promising himself to eat something today.
* * *
Interstate 435 at the Anderson Mall exit
Sydney took the morning off from work, as he was at the hospital all day and again in the evening with Jarod the day before.
After some much-needed sleep and a quick breakfast, he and Major Charles were off and running. Sydney and the Major had been having an in-depth conversation about Jarod's state of mind and what he had and hadn't remembered to date. Apparently, Jarod still had no recollection of Gemini, which would be understandable considering how profoundly it had affected him when he had discovered the Centre had cloned him. Being so protective of children and knowing what had probably been done to that boy was probably something his mind still wasn't ready to deal with. Sydney planned to drop the Major off at the mall to pick up a few things for Jarod and, while the Major was there, he wanted to swing around to the hospital to visit with Jarod. He would meet with Miss Parker and Broots later.
Sydney was elated to have the Major, Miss Parker and Broots here, but deep down inside, he was having trouble fighting off his fear that the Centre would soon be on their heels.
Shaking off his worried thoughts, Sydney gave Major Charles a sidelong look of amused frustration as they inched their way through the snarled rush hour traffic and into the shopping mall parking lot.
"Guess this puts us behind schedule," the Major said giving Sydney a guilty look.
"It might take me a while to pick up some things for Jarod, but I'll probably be at the hospital around noon or so," the Major said with a big smile as he thought about seeing his son.
"I'm really grateful for the time we've had together. It's been along time since I've had anyone to really talk to," the psychiatrist confessed.
"It's been a long time for me, too," the Major said, remembering all the sleepless nights he had endured since losing Jarod again. Gemini was a wonderful son and companion for him, yet he would never burden the child with the more weighty matters.
Sydney, thanks for all you're doing for Jarod," Major Charles said giving Sydney a squeeze on the arm and hopping out of the car." "You're certainly welcome, Major, I'll see you later at the hospital," Sydney said, as the Major left and hurried off down the sidewalk.
* * *
Menniger Hospital
Patient Cafeteria
"Jarod, I missed you last night at supper. I heard you were having a hard time. I'm really sorry," a pretty young girl named Aimee said smiling at him shyly, a hint of worry showing in her eyes.
"Oh, that," Jarod said, looking down at his sausage and stabbing it forcibly. "Aimee, it really wasn't a big deal. Don't worry about it, ok?" Jarod said hoping she'd drop it right there.
Aimee's eyes met his and she smiled brightly, though one look at him told her it must have been pretty bad.
"Sure, Jarod. Sometimes I forget how much people love to exaggerate about things around here."
After a few minutes of silence, she looked back over at Jarod who was pushing his other sausage around on his plate with a big grin on his face totally lost in thought.
"You know, there's something different about you today, Jarod. What's going on? I've never seen you this happy."
"My father came to visit me last night and he's coming back sometime today," he said looking up at her with his big brown eyes.
"Jarod, I didn't know you had any family. You never mentioned it before."
"I just couldn't remember for a while." Jarod said trying to drink his orange juice and almost spilling it, as he hand started to shake.
"You better calm down, Jarod, or you'll be wearing your breakfast," Aimee teased giving him a wink."
Jarod slammed the glass down and ran his fingers through his unruly hair.
"Jarod, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you," she said, her dove gray eyes filling with tears.
Realizing what he had done, Jarod took Aimee's hand and gave it a little squeeze.
"I'm sorry, it's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. It's just that I….. I just can't…. Look, I'll see you later," Jarod said grabbing his tray and leaving without another word.
* * *
Miss Parker and Broots rental home
Overland Park, Kansas
Miss Parker sat on the balcony off her bedroom, sipping tea and watching the sun climb above a single bank of clouds, which was the only remnant from last night's thunderstorm.
She was glad Broots was probably still asleep, giving her time to try to sort things out. It's funny, she thought, that she had spent all those years chasing Jarod with a vengeance, and now, she just wanted to be with him and maybe help him find some happiness. She felt nauseous, as she remembered the DSA of everything Jarod had been through, and fought off the fearful thoughts that it might be too late to help him. Remembering what Broots told her, about Sydney's reaction to the news that she was here, made her feel unclean. She closed her eyes attempting to block her memories of Jarod's frantic expression when she was almost capturing him and ended up with his father, the day they rescued Gemini.
She got up and walked over to the balcony rail and gazed at the house-studded hillside. He'll be afraid of me. I've made myself his enemy. How can I ever change that?
Memories of all the times Jarod had reached out to her flooded her mind. She hoped some where in his heart he could find a way to forgive her for her relentless cruelty toward him.
Looking at her watch, she realized she better get dressed. Sydney was going to be here in a few hours and she had some things to take care of first.
* * *
The Centre
Blue Cove, Delaware
Mr. Parker's office
"You've got to be kidding. What do you mean it was a dead end. I thought Mr. White had proof that they were in Florida." Mr. Parker left his chair and went to his wet bar to pour himself a drink.
"You better not turn this into another big fiasco, Lyle, or Big Mutumbo will have you tracked down like an animal and it won't matter who's son you are," Mr. Parker hissed slamming down the phone.
* * *
Menninger Hospital
Room 319
8:14 AM
Jarod was at the dresser combing his hair when Sydney came in. Dropping the comb, he spun around with a fearful expression on his face.
"I'm sorry, Jarod. I didn't mean to startle you. I'll knock a little louder next time," Sydney said giving him a sympathetic look.
Jarod just shook his head and walked over to the window.
"You could prescribe something for that. I can barely take a drink any more the way my hands shake and I'm getting sick and tired to of nearly jumping out of my skin."
"I have noticed a dramatic increase of your startle response in the last 24 hours, Jarod. I agree that your symptoms of hyperarousal need to be dealt with. I've been wrestling with that very thing. Perhaps we can try you on some Thorozine. I'm reluctant to put you on a minor tranquilizer, because of their addictive properties and more significantly, the way they quickly become a crutch."
"Don't you think I already know that," Jarod exploded. "You're treating me like I'm an idiot. And another thing, why do you have me on suicide watch, Sydney? I would never do anything like that and you know it. Whatever problems I'm having now aren't really any different than what I've managed to live with my entire life, and I'm sure not emotionally ill."
"I'm afraid that's not true at all, Jarod. There are things you are not aware of concerning your illness and I believe you're also experiencing a good measure of denial. You've been suffering from amnesia and only yesterday retrieved, let me emphasize some of your memory. I don't know exactly what you remember, but you have eluded to suicide several times during you stay here as well as at the other hospital."
"The other hospital?" Jarod said turning around with a sick look on his face. "I don't remember that."
"No Jarod, I'm sure you don't," Sydney said fighting not to show the deep pain of those memories.
The blood drained from Jarod's face.
"How long have I been here, Sydney? Jarod asked, his eyes darting around the room.
"You've been here several weeks, Jarod. Does that seem about right to you?"
Jarod seemed lost in thought. He stood there tugging on the belt to his robe for a few moments and then just walked off toward the closet opened it and stood there staring straight ahead.
Sydney observed him for a few minutes to see what he would do next. When he did nothing more, Sydney walked over to Jarod and spoke.
"Jarod, what are you doing?"
"Oh, I was just…I don't know," Jarod said obviously very confused.
"That's alright, Jarod. I'm sure you just lost your train of thought."
"Jarod you're going to have to trust my judgement, as far as your treatment is concerned, until you are better. It's impossible for you to be objective right now. I'm sorry to be so blunt with you, but I want you to get better and you're just going to have to cooperate with me so that can happen."
Jarod just stood there entirely speechless.
„Jarod, I have suspicions that you are starting to remember things about what happened to you. The night nurse has documented your night terrors and severe nightmares. That incident in the cafeteria last night was one of many flashbacks you’ve had about what happened to you, wasn’t it? Jarod, even your the memories don’t make sense, we need to talk about them; you know that better than anyone. Please help me help you," Sydney pleaded, noticing that his patient was still just standing there, totally unresponsive.
„ Jarod, it says on your chart that last night you suffered extremely disturbing nightmares and that you were found screaming the name Miss Parker. How long has this been going on?"
„I don’t know. For a while, I guess," Jarod said looking at the floor.
Jarod rubbed his hand over his face and started to pace.
"I see…graphic images… of Miss Parker…there's…blood everywhere," he said with difficulty. I think there's someone being beaten…no…I'm not sure," Jarod said quietly sitting down on his bed. "I remember there was a tray…Hypos…no, yes…and leather straps… I can't talk about this," Jarod said getting up and moving to the windows fighting to catch his breath.
"Jarod, you're hyperventilating. Slow down your…"
"I know… that… Sydney…why don't you," Jarod said bitterly, his words trailing off, as he sank into one of the chairs.
After a few minutes, Jarod spoke again.
"Miss Parker was really shot, wasn't she?" Jarod said looking up with fear in his eyes.
"Yes, Jarod, but she is much better, now."
"Thank goodness," Jarod whispered, "I thought…she was dead."
Jarod sat in silence, his head in his hands, then spoke quietly.
"I see blurred images…horrible things," he said struggling to keep his breathing steady. "I was captured again, wasn't I Sydney," Jarod said angrily, wrapping his arms around himself.
"Yes, Jarod, you were," Sydney said simply.
"I was given drugs too?"
"Several and an overdose of one in particular, that is causing you the most trouble," the psychiatrist said carefully evaluating Jarod's reaction.
"I'm tired, Sydney. I want to be alone for a while," Jarod said, looking away.
"I'm not sure that would be a good idea right now. You don't have to talk to me anymore, but I would rather stay," Sydney said sitting down in the other chair by the window and opening Jarod's chart.
Jarod didn't say anything else. He just went over to his bed and laid down facing the wall.
* * *
Hospital recreation room
12:00 noon
Jarod was standing near some maintenance workers, watching them install a lighting bar with several lamps attached to it in the recreation room. Wondering why the lighting bar had given him such a horrible feeling of dread, he searched his mind for an answer that just wasn't there
"Hey Jarod. Sorry man, didn't mean ta startle ya. Ya helpin those guys or do ya want to check out the new Air Combat 3 video game? I'll play ya for the five candy bars you won off me a couple of days ago, but I'm not playin ping pong with ya any more. Got that?"
"I'm not sure, Gaelan," Jarod said, his eyes wandering to the lighting bar and then back to him.
Gaelan gave Jarod a skeptical look.
"Jarod, you don't look so good, even for you. You've been talkin to that shrink of yours again, haven't ya."
Jarod eyes drifted back to the lighting bar.
Gaelan patted Jarod on the back. Come on boy, you need ta tell him ya need a day off. That's what I do with mine. Here, I'll show ya how ta play that game, but ya better not try too hard. Lunch stinks today and I'm going ta need those candy bars back," Gaelan said ushering Jarod over to the game center.
* * *
Miss Parker and Broots rental home
Overland Park, Kansas
1:30 PM
"That wouldn't be good for Jarod right now. He's having a very difficult time at the moment and I can't see putting him under any more emotional stress. He's already walking a very thin line. Why don't you wait until tomorrow and let me see how he does. If the rest of his day is uneventful, it will probably be fine. I just discovered that he has been secretly trying to deal with horrible flashbacks of you being shot. I believe he actually thought you were dead. I told him you are fine, but seeing you may help allay his fears. I'm afraid the after effect of that drug overdose has seriously undermined his psychological stability and coping skills.
Miss Parker closed her eyes as she digested what Sydney was telling them.
"Is Jarod going to be all right, Sydney?" Miss Parker asked almost choking on the words.
"Jarod is a real fighter. I'd say anyone else who would have gone through what he did, would have to be locked in a padded cell for the rest of his life. Jarod's still experiencing some psychotic moments, but moreover, he's improving every day. He doesn't really understand how ill he is and is very angry and impatient to get on with his life. He's going to need a lot of love and support to make it through this. But, I believe he will."
"That's su sure a relief to hear," Broots said with as big smile. "After watching what Lyle di did to Jarod on that DSA, I never thought he would, well, I sure feel better now. I think the coffee is done. Would anyone like some?"
"That would be very nice, Broots. Make mine black, please."
"Nothing for me, Broots," Miss Parker said walking over to the balcony rail.
"How are you doing, Miss Parker? Broots told me you have severed relations with the Centre. I care deeply about you, Parker, as if you were my own daughter. I just want you to know I'm here if you want to talk about it."
Miss Parker turned around to face Sydney with tears beginning to form in her eyes.
"He ordered my mother's death. My own father! And I have spent my entire life doing everything I could to gain that bastard's approval. How could I've possibly been that blind?" she said he voice breaking. I went along with every evil plans of his, right down to tracking Jarod all over kingdom come, as if he deserved that."
"Miss Parker, it's not as if you had any real choice, or any of us for that matter. Complying with the Centre has always been a life or death decision. Perhaps we've all slit our throats by being here now," he said giving her a wane smile.
"It's different this time. A house divided will fall. The Centre is no longer an impregnable force, and by God, it's going down."
"Strong words, Parker. I remember saying something to that effect recently myself."
"Um, excuse me, he here's your coffee, Sydney."
"Broots, our discussion has taken a very interesting turn," Sydney said taking a sip of his coffee.
* * *
Menninger Hospital
Room 319
3:30
Sydney knocked and entered Jarod's room and found himself face to face with his patient standing there dressed in black jeans, a black T-shirt, and black shoes, taking a big gulp from what appeared to be another Blizzard shake.
"Hi Sydney, my dad is here," Jarod said grinning, casting a glance toward the Major, who had planted himself in one of the chairs by the window.
"He looks pretty good, doesn't he, if I do say so myself," the Major said standing up and crossing over to where the two of them stood. "I think Jarod has had enough of those hospital clothes for a while."
"I must say, Jarod, you look more like your old self again," Sydney said with a pleased expression.
"Thanks. I'm, um, sorry I gave you a hard time this morning, it's just that…"
"Jarod, I'm your doctor. I can see what you're going through. You don't owe me an apology, by any means. Your reactions are perfectly understandable."
"Sydney, if you two need to talk, I can leave for a little while."
"I don't think that will be necessary. Perhaps we can shorten our talk this after noon, and you can spend more time with your father. What do you say, Jarod?"
"It's strange that you should say that," Jarod said with a puzzled look on his face. Glancing at his father, Jarod quickly added," That will be just fine."
Sydney sat down and briefly went over Jarod's chart.
"Jarod, it looks like you have had two doses of Thorozine. How are you doing with it?"
"It seems alright. It makes my mouth dry, though," Jarod said sitting down on his bed and taking a sip of his Blizzard.
"Yes, that's a common side effect. I'm sorry, you probably know that already. If it's not causing you any other problems, we'll keep you on it for a while and see if it helps keep you anxiety level more manageable. I started you on a rather high dose. We can always adjust it if there are any problems."
"Thank you, Sydney."
"I see you went down to the rec. room for a while. How did that go?"
Jarod thought about the new lighting that was being installed there and started tugging on the bed spread fringe. Noticing what Jarod was doing, Sydney realized that something was wrong.
"Jarod, what happened in the rec. room?"
"Not much. I played video games with Gaelen and won 5 candy bars."
"Was he mad at you for winning?"
"Of course not; but he was hungry, so I gave them back," Jarod said sipping on his shake again.
"Ok Jarod," Sydney said, continuing to observe him.
"It says here that you failed to show up at lunch again," Sydney said with a knowing look, spying some hamburger wrappers in the trash. "Looks to me like you had something better to eat. I'll make a note of that."
"You've wasted no time in corrupting Jarod, have you, Major Charles?"
"I take my job as Jarod's parent very seriously."
"Anything else you want to discuss before I leave, Jarod?" Sydney asked, knowing Jarod was sidestepping something.
"Not right now, Sydney."
"Well, you two have a great afternoon. I'll check back this evening before I leave."
"Thank you, Sydney," the Major said shaking his hand and walking him to the door.
"Let me know if anything comes up. I'll be in the building," Sydney said under his breath.
"Don't worry, I will."
* * *
Menninger's Hospital
The next morning
Hospital foyer
8:05 AM
Sydney met with Miss Parker briefly before she went up to visit Jarod. He wanted to make sure she was as prepared as she could be for the types of things that might come up during her visit. Jarod had had an uneventful evening and a fairly good nights sleep, so he felt this was as good a time as ever for them to see each other again. They had been at odds with each a painfully long time. As he stood there at the elevator watching the doors close behind her, he prayerfully hoped the two of them could finally begin to find some healing.
* * *
Jarod heard the soft knock at the door and immediately wished he were somewhere else. He knew that Miss Parker wanted to see him, but he would have given anything if it weren't like this. Reluctantly, he went to the door and opened it. There she stood, dressed in pastel pink and more beautiful than he could have ever remembered. He stood there mesmerized by her beauty.
"Jarod," Miss Parker half whispered half gasped, as she got her first look at him.
Jarod closed his eyes for a moment trying to erase the look of pity and shock he had seen flicker across her face.
"Miss Parker," Jarod said, motioning for her to come in. "You sure look better than the last time I saw you," he said managing a small smile. "Would you like to sit down?" he asked, glancing over at the two seats by the window.
"Thanks, Jarod," she said noticing how badly his hands shook, but keeping her eyes on his face.
"You're not going to change your mind and drag me back to the Centre, are you?" he said with a characteristic slight smirk on his face. Jarod didn't seriously think she would, but suddenly started having an anxiety attack.
"Jarod are you all right?" Miss Parker asked hurrying over to where he stood, worry etched across her face.
"I'm…all right, just give me a minute," Jarod said with a sick look on his face. "I've been doing this a lot lately. Just need to sit down," he said collapsing on the bed.
Miss Parker sat down by him and held his trembling hands until it passed.
It was then that she noticed the deep scaring encircling his wrists and gave an involuntary shutter.
"Not exactly how I thought things would go," Jarod said blushing fiercely with a hint of anger in his voice.
"I'm so sorry for what they did to you, Jarod."
"How do you know what they did to me when I hardly know myself," Jarod questioned her dreading the answer.
"Jarod, Broots stole the DSA from Lyle's office," she said, watching him get up and walk over to the window with an unsteady gate.
After a few minutes he turned back toward her.
"Lyle did this to me?"
"Lyle and Raines."
"I might have guessed as much," Jarod said sinking down in one of the chairs.
Miss Parker walked over and sat beside him and neither spoke for a little while.
"Jarod, I'm so sorry for all the pain I've caused you. I was wrong. I'll never be able to forgive myself," Miss Parker said her eyes welling up with tears.
Jarod took her hands in his, gently lifting her out of her seat and held her close to him.
"Listen to me. None of this is your fault. It's the Centre that destroys lives. They specialize in it. We're just part of the collateral damage. Sydney told me what you've been going through. I can see the pain in your eyes. If you want to talk about it, I'm a good listener." Jarod said looking deeply into her eyes.
"Don't Jarod."
"What?" Jarod asked genuinely confused.
"You really don't know, do you? My God, Jarod, look at you. After all they did to you, you're worried about me?"
"Well, you've been on my mind lately," Jarod said uncomfortably, stepping away and starting to straighten the room.
Miss Parker's heart sank as she watched him, remembering what Sydney had told her about his flash backs and how he had thought that she was dead.
"Jarod, it's a beautiful day, why don't we go for a walk."
"I don't know," Jarod said, glancing around the room.
"Trust me. It will do you a lot of good. I'm sure Sydney will sign for you. I think he said he was going to be in his office until 9:30." Jarod broke into a real smile as they headed out the door.
* * *
Angelo waited until everyone left the room before he stopped the video camera and hurried down the air duct toward his secrete room, where he would be able to send Broots the warning.
"Must help friends. Must not hurt Jarod and daughter. Must not find."
