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Chapter or Story 
Chapter or Story
Disclaimer: Jarod, Parker, Broots...Own them? I wish! That ingeniusness goes to NBC, though. Also, the song's by Sarah MacLauchlan. Thanx for not suing.
History Repeats, Love Endures
Part VII
by Oriana Lemke
7/7
Not going.
She wasn't going with him. That one sentence she'd said was running through his mind over and over. He hadn't replied. Hell, he couldn't have moved, if he'd tried. Jarod just stood there, trying to absorb her words. Already ideas were popping into his head: It was a bad joke... He'd done something wrong... Something was scaring her away. The only thing that seemed clear to Jarod was that this was just a mistake, her leaving, an awful mistake. Something had gone wrong, obviously, but he was sure it wasn't something that couldn't be fixed.
All of these thoughts came in and went in a matter of seconds. A few seconds, however, was all it took for Parker to walk out the door, and head down the hall towards the nearest elevator. Jarod ran out the door, mentally hitting himself for not stopping her immediately, and looked both ways down the hall. He spotted her, with her back facing him, just as the elevator doors were sliding together. He dashed down the hall.
"Parker, wait! Please--" He reached the doors just as they finished closing. "Damn it!" Not wanting to wait for the next elevator, Jarod ran back down the hall, passed their room to the end, to where the stairs were located.
Parker stood in the elevator, staring at the shiny metal wall. This was so unfair-- she was running away from the one place she wanted to be most. The Centre always won in the end, Parker thought. This was proof. She felt her eyes begin to well, but she forced herself to remain in contral, clenching her jaw and straightening her posture. Then she noticed her reflection on the elevator's metal side, and the tears fell anyhow. Not the angry tears that she felt like shedding, the kind always accompanied by a few satisfying cries of pain and anger. No, the composed woman permitted herself just two tears, two warm moist drops that slowly made their way down her cheek. As the doors slid open, Parker impatiently wiped them away as she turned and walked out into the hotel lobby.
Jarod pushed through the doors at the bottom of the stairwell, finding himself in the hotel lobby. He silently cursed the size of this bottom level, the waves of parents and children heading in a hundred directions, and the numerous shops that could be searched, all the while making his way quickly through the crowd, desperately searching for Parker.
Then he spotted her, just entering the revolving glass doors leading outside, and his heart lifted.
"Parker! Parker, wait! Parker!" Jarod shouted over and over as he impatiently pushed his way through the crowd.
Parker heard, and it ripped her heart apart. She debating forgeting her rental car and just grabbing a taxi, but it was obvious there wasn't one in sight, so she began to walk faster, determined to lose Jarod. Despite the fact that she was outside, she could still hear Jarod's shouts from inside the hotel.
"God, why does he have to make this any harder?" Parker asked in a quaivering voice.
"Parker!" Jarod could see her just entering the large park across the street, as he finally made it out of the building. He resumed full-speed running, though he was slowed by the cars he had to weave around in the street. As he made it to the park, he could see her nearing the large marble fountain.
She was close enough to feel the cool mist of the approaching fountain, but her steps didn't slow. Parker had no intention of slowing down until she was out of Atlanta, and far enough away that Jarod would no longer be in danger.
At last, he reached her, just in front of the fountain. She sensed him behind her. The thought casually came and went, of just how long she'd had that sixth sense when it came to him. Forever, she realized was the answer. Since they were children, since that first meeting, she'd always had that instinct about him.
"Parker, would you stop?" And she did. Everything inside of her was screaming for Parker to keep going, to protect him. Yet she stopped, simply because he had asked her. She didn't turn to face him, though. That would just be too hard.
Jarod reached out to touch her, his hand brushing the small of her back. He was surprised to feel the solid form of her gun. The dark suit, her gun... He heard her reach for something in her coat jacket, and the sound of her working a lighter was like the final puzzle piece. She was returning to the way she used to be, Jarod realized. To the protective shell of the Ice Queen that nobody screwed with, let alone got close to.
"Parker, please," Jarod whispered. "Talk to me. Tell me what's going on." Immediately, Parker tensed.
"Go away," Parker insisted.
"I know you don't want that."
"I don't give a damn what you think you know," she snapped, hoping her old attitude would come in handy. "Jesus, I've packed my bags, I've told you straight out that I wasn't going with you--what the hell do you need to get the hint? I want nothing to do with you!" Silence. Complete and painful silence. She closed her eyes tight, wishing for it all to be over.
"I know you're hurting," Jarod whispered after a moment. "I don't know what's going on...but please, just let me help."
"Would you just leave?!" Parker shouted.
"Can't we at least try to work this out together?" No answer. "Is there a reason you won't let me help you?" Still nothing. Parker didn't trust her own voice, and besides, what was there left to say that would make him leave?
"There's nothing I can do to change your mind, is there?" There was a sad tinge of acceptance in his low voice. "I don't want to lose you, but you... you really want me to leave, don't you?" A single tear slipped through Parker's still-closed eye.
Neither one spoke. There was no need.
Jarod reached out.
It would take everything he had to stop his fingers from touching her.
He turned around and walked back to the hotel. He had two plane tickets to cancel. California just didn't offer the same interest for him anymore.
It took her awhile to realize that he wasn't coming back. It took her even longer to accept it. But she wouldn't cry. She wouldn't allow herself to lose control like that. After all, the old Miss Parker was back, and the old Miss Parker never cried. She silently slid her sunglasses on, and took a final puff of her cigarette before snuffing it out with her heel. She walked the rest of the way across the park to her rented car, her face emotionless and her footsteps certain.
~~~~~~~~~
Jarod drove along the busy highway, his mind nowhere near the road in front of him. He didn't even know where he was going. As long as it was away from Atlanta, he supposed it didn't really matter. Deciding he needed something to distract him, Jarod reached over and turned on the radio. A song he hadn't heard before was just beginning.
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard
"Great," Jarod muttered as he turned the radio off. "Like I really need to hear something like that right now."
~~~~~~~~~
Parker drove aimlessly, completely oblivious to her surroundings. She hadn't touched the lit cigarette resting in the ashtray, which was now burned all the way to the butt, and cutting and passes that usually drew a line of profanities out of her mouth now occured without notice.
A car blared it horn as it passed her, snapping Parker out of her reverie. She glared at the car, but the truth was that she was grateful for the distraction. A distraction from thoughts of beautiful brown eyes, that adorable smile...
"I am truly pathetic," Parker remarked. She pressed a button to turn on the stereo, positive that music was just the thing to keep her from thinking of a certain man. The song that filled her car had already begun, but the background music had a sort of sad note to it that caught Parker's attention.
And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
"Oh, yeah, this'll really help me get Jarod out of my head," Parker muttered as she pressed the tuning button a couple times, switching to the only other station she remembered as having decent music. There was a slight pause as the radio changed, then the same tune resumed.
I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh, you gave me light
"Fate's having a hayday with my misery," Parker murmured, pressing the on/off button hard with one well-manicured finger.
~~~~~~~~~
"Sir? Excuse me, sir, but you forgot your briefcase," the flight attendant said, pointing back to a black leather case placed in one of the hard blue plastic chairs of the airport terminal. Jarod, dressed in a navy blue Armani suit, looked down at his hand, realizing that she was right--all he had in his hand was his laptop carrying case.
"Thank you," Jarod smiled politely. He walked back to his chair and picked up the briefcase, only to have it open on him. Papers spilled out onto the floor.
"Oh, no," the attendant said as she walked back to him. "Here, let me help you with that." She bent down and picked up a few folders; from between two of them fluttered down a polaroid picture. She caught the picture, and smiled at it as she handed the folders back to Jarod.
"What a lovely picture. Your family?" Glancing up from his briefcase, a sad sort of smile grew on his face as he saw what she was talking about.
"No, they're not. But they're both very dear to me," Jarod said as he took the picture from her, tucking it into the breast pocket of his suit. "Um, thank you for helping with my papers, but my plane's about to leave, so I'd better get going." He made his way past the flight attendant and boarded the plane.
The airplane wasn't at all crowded, which was best, since it'd give Jarod a chance to rest. This last pretend, in a Chicago law firm, had been exhausting, with horrible hours and a very detailed trap to be set for a kidnapper. It would feel good to get home for a few days, before he left again.
Home... It had taken awhile for him to find the perfect spot, but he'd finally done it: a cozy two-story house, white with blue trimming, in a picture-perfect neighborhood overflowing with families. Best of all, he was right on the beach. Cape Cod was certainly his favorite out of all the places he'd visited. The house was his home now, the place he belonged, and knew would always be there when a pretend was over. He felt comfortable there, safe. The realtor had described it as the perfect family home, a chief attraction for Jarod.
Families. The thought led his hand into the breast pocket. Jarod was staring at the polaroid before he even realized it. He was standing with an arm around Parker, with Emily in between, all beaming; a happy moment frozen in time. He remembered when the picture had been taken: back in Chicago, while they were looking around a mall, Parker had spotted a photo booth. Emily and she had each grabbed one of his hands and tugged him over, giggling as they nudged him inside and closed the curtain. He'd been blinded by the flash, but it had been worth it, knowing that Parker had that picture of him. Then Emily had insisted on having a picture of he and Parker together, which neither had argued to. And, in the end, he got the picture of them all together.
"Three months," Jarod thought with a sigh. "Seems more like an eternity." He looked out the window, lost in his thoughts, as his hand -still holding the picture- came to rest on his chest. He eventually nodded off into a sleep filled with happy memories, from their childhood, to their time in Chicago. Even the white rabbit he'd given her.
When the plane landed over three hours later in Cape Cod, Jarod silently gathered his laptop and briefcase, left the plane, and walked out to where his car had waited for nearly two weeks, without once returning the smiles of friendly strangers.
Jarod drove slowly towards home, unconsciously using the streets crowded with specialty shops, a much longer route. It was as he was waiting for a light to turn green that a small store on the corner caught his eye. Placed in the window, amidst stuffed animals and cribs, was an oak rocking chair with a baby blue afghan hanging over one armrest. He could almost picture Parker slowly rocking in that chair, with a baby held snug in her arms... She would turn, and smile at him, her blue eyes sparkling... He'd bend down, kiss the forehead of their precious child, then kiss her on lips... Everything would be perfect...
A car horn snapped Jarod out of his reverie, and he glanced up to see that the light had changed. Without a second thought, he turned the corner, driving until he reached a parking garage a few blocks away. He impatiently unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of his car, not bothering to stop long enough to lock it. He hurried back to the baby shop, and entered, heading straight for the nearest salesperson.
"Hello, sir," the young brunette said. "Is there anything I can help you with?"
"Yes," Jarod smiled. "I'd like to have you deliver something to my house."
"Of course. What is it you want?"
"I'd like to buy that chair in the window."
~~~~~~~~~
Parker wasn't driving in her usual speed-demon manner. In fact, though she wasn't aware of it, she was driving nearly 10 miles beneath the posted limit of 35. And it wasn't as if there was traffic to slow her down; in fact, with it nearing dusk, it seemed everyone had opted to stay home tonight, leaving the streets empty save for a rare few cars or joggers. No one to actually notice the woman lost in her troubled thoughts.
He'd be in danger again, if she stayed.
It wasn't the only sign of her nervous and hesistant condition. In fact, anyone observing Parker would immediately notice that something was up: she was clicking her nails on the steering wheels, and constantly chewing on her lower lip. She'd attempted to smoke two cigarettes already, but each would nearly burn her fingers before she even remembered lighting them.
But going on without him was just too hard. Impossible.
Her mind was so completely full with other thoughts that she didn't even register the red light until she'd practically run it. Natural reaction sent her foot slamming against the brake. She bent forward a little from the sudden momentum, and it was as she was settling back in her seat that a store window caught her eye. It was closed, but lights illuminated the displays. She smiled wistfully at the cute stuffed animals, tiny baby clothes, and all the furniture a child could ever need. She especially liked the oak rocking chair set in the middle of the display--it was absolutely perfect.
The light had turned green, but there were no cars behind her to make Parker aware of this fact. She finally glanced up to the light and, with a sigh, released the break peddle. She continued down the deserted streets, heading for the beachfront of Cape Cod.
Maybe they could find a way. Together, they always had seemed stronger. Even as children.
She'd found a public parking lot six blocks or so from his place. Somehow going straight up his driveway seemed too... abrupt. It made things real and immediate. And suddenly, despite the long hours she'd already spent debating this decision, Parker needed time to sort out some thoughts.
She got out of the car, and took off her shoes, tossing them inside. They'd made her pink sweater set and black skirt more business-like, but heels seemed like an unnecessary nuisance for a walk on the beach. The shoes landed on the passenger's side seat, next to her polaroid of Jarod. She permitted herself only a quick glance at his happy grin before slamming the door shut.
She headed straight down to the water, slowly walking along, enjoying the feel of moist sand under her bare feet. At first she just walked quietly along, occassionally looking back at her footprints in the sand. Then, she saw the amazing colors that dusk was reflecting on the water, and she just stopped, and sat down.
In the distance, thunder began. Thick, dark clouds were quickly making their way to the ocean. It didn't take long for the rain to start, foregoing the traditional sprinkles to begin with a sudden rush of water. The downfall drenched Parker within moments, but she continued to just stare out at the remains of the sunset.
And with the hundreds of raindrops came her hundreds of doubts and concerns, all overflowing in her mind until finally they burst through in tears.
Parker sat, in the pouring rain, her face dripping with raindrops and tears, watching the sun disappear and the sky be overtaken by the dark, menacing storm, feeling more alone than ever.
~~~~~~~~~
Jarod stood in his bedroom, near the doors leading out onto the balcony, watching the storm. No lights on, just the last beams of dusk filling the room. It was all so mesmerizing, the way the waves clashed against the sand, the patterns lightning cut in the sky, even the paths raindrops made down the glass. Usually these storms, so frequent in this area, calmed him; tonight, however, nothing could keep his unhappy thoughts at bay.
He looked over at the rocking chair, and sighed. He'd bought it without any hesitation. At the time it'd made sense--the image that seeing that rocking chair had brought forth had been great. He'd had this incredible need to own that chair, to have it in that one certain spot on the balcony. Not that it had been a bad purchase; the rocking chair seemed to be made for the house, like the finishing touch to make it feel like home. He'd brought it inside a few hours ago, to protect it from the rain.
Jarod walked over to it, his figure barely illuminated, and ran his fingers over the smooth wood. He'd really bought it for her. It seemed to fit her so well, or at least the Miss Parker that he knew, not the persona she used to protect herself from being hurt.
He shook his head. It wasn't as if it really mattered. She'd never see it anyway.
Jarod walked out of the room, and headed to the staircase, stopping to glance back into the room. He stared at the chair, his face brightened by the lights turned on downstairs. He knew it was a gift he'd never be able to give her. Still, he just couldn't bring himself to get rid of it.
He walked down the stairs, and went into the kitchen to make some hot cocoa. From the window above the sink he could see the houses across the street, their windows glowing from lights within. He always liked to wonder what the families were doing inside. Then, as always, came the question that ruined the moment: Would he ever know firsthand?
It was as he was pouring the steaming liquid that he heard -barely- a knock on the front door. There was a short pause, followed by another knock, as short and quiet -almost hesitant- as the first.
"Who could possibly be out in this weather?" Jarod mused. He made his way through the kitchen and living room to the front door. He set down the mug of hot cocoa, and opened the door.
There stood Parker. Her head had risen immediately as the door opened, and she seemed startled to actually see Jarod. She'd been staring at her bare feet, on the verge of walking away while there was still time. Now, as she saw him, Parker knew there was nowhere else she could be.
Jarod was speechless. He could only stand, and stare at her. She was soaked; her clothes were clinging to her skin, and her dark hair was dripping, with stray strands dangling around her cheeks. Her blue eyes -a little moist with a few remaining tears- glistened as they reflected the warm light coming from inside the house. She was here. She was really here.
For a moment, for a brief, breath-stopping moment, she just stood, absorbing every detail about him, trying to freeze the moment in time. It wasn't as if she could speak--were there words to fit what she feeling? She was soaked, she was freezing, but Parker felt safe and warm and content, just being this close to him.
"Parker," Jarod breathed, an ecstatic smile instantly appearing on his face. That was all she needed. She took the one step between them, and threw her arms around him, nestling her head next to his neck. His arms went around her, enclosing her in a tight hug, unable to do anything but smile joyously, reveling in the sensation of having her so near to him. A single set of tears escaped her eyes, but they were -for the first time in a long while- tears of happiness and relief. She tightened her hold on him, not wanting to ever let go.
They remained that way, in the doorway, in each other's arms, for a long while, as a starry night replaced the storm. They were together, finally, and home.
~~~~~~~~
A man walked through that same doorway, but long after that night. He stopped first, by the mantle over the fireplace, to stare at mementos and photographs collected to reflect so many happy memories. He then headed up the stairs, and entered the nearest room with an open door. It was a lovely bedroom, decorated in the same warm spirit as the rest of the house. A white antique canopy bed took up some of the space, but it was the balcony that really caught your eye.
An ocean breeze lazily billowed through white curtains as the man made his way, through the open balcony doors, outside. He stood, enjoying the salty sent and bright sunlight. He glanced over at a rocking chair placed close to the edge, a teddy bear resting in its seat. He smiled, then headed back inside. The bedside tables were neatly kept, but the large dresser and mirror placed near the center of the wall showed signs of a busy family. The mirror's frame had snapshots stuck into it, and a variety of seashells and postcards were lying all over the top of the dresser, along with a few PEZ dispensers.
It was the three pictures, the only ones framed, in the middle of the souveniers that caught his attention. To one side was an older photo, Miss Parker's favorite, that contained her mother. To the other side was a polaroid of three people, taken over six years ago. And, in the middle, was a photo from a wedding. In a beautiful white gown was Parker, and looking rather handsome in a black suit was Jarod; it was a picture of their first dance at the reception, and it was obvious from the way they held each other close and stared into each other's eyes, how much in love they were.
"Hey, Sydney!" called a familiar voice from the bottom of the stairs. "The others are here!" Sydney looked up from the photos, and smiled as he heard the ruckus downstairs as a small mass of people greeted each other.
"Coming, Broots!" Sydney assured him. He walked out of the bedroom, and down to meet with everyone else. Everyone was beaming as they made the introductions, which were plenty. Sydney had brought his wife, Michelle, and his son, Nicholas, who had ended up bringing his own wife and three children along. Emily and Constance were there as well, along with Debbie and Broots. When it finally seemed that introductions were finished, and being replaced with the chatter of catching up, Emily spoke what was on everyone's minds.
"So where are our hosts? You'd think they'd be here to greet us!"
"Yeah," Debbie agreed. "They should be here, celebrating the big day, shouldn't they?"
"Actually, I found a note from them in the kitchen," Sydney explained. "They want us all to make ourselves comfortable. The note said they'd be back by noon, so it shouldn't be too much longer." Nodding, everyone went back to their own little conversations.
"Wasn't this idea of hers great?" Debbie asked Emily. "Our first official reunion -with everybody together for the first time- here in Cape Cod. It's gonna be wonderful--a whole week together. And that barbecue Jarod has planned on the beach tomorrow sounds like a blast!"
"Yeah, it'll be nice to be around you guys again. I mean, we all stay in touch, and we've gotten together in smaller numbers a lot--"
"Especially Sydney and Jarod's clone. They're really close," Debbie interrupted.
"Right. But everyone together at once, now that's the best part. And isn't it wonderful, how we're starting this whole reunion today, on their 5th wedding anniversary?"
"I know. It's so romantic," Debbie sighed, "those two finally getting together, after everything they'd been through. I learned a lot more about them after daddy moved us out to Texas. I always thought those two had something going on."
"Yes, it was quite obvious to everyone, at one point or another," Sydney agreed, joining in their conversation. "I always wondered how things would have turned out between those two, if everything with the Centre had never happened."
"I don't think it matters, really," Debbie said confidently. "They're meant to be, simple as that. They'd have found a way to find each other. That's just the way they are."
"Hey!" Nicholas shouted from the doorway. "Two more cars are pulling up--it's Jarod's family!"
"About time!" Debbie laughed as a new group of people flooded into the house. The first one inside was the younger Jarod, though he really wasn't that young anymore.
"Sydney!" Jarod called out, moving over to the older man. "We finally made it!"
~~~~~~~~~
Across town, inside a building with the sign "Capeside Photo Studio", sat a happy family of four. Already they'd had a few shots taken of each child, but it was the family pictures that were more important to the parents, so they were waiting while the photographer changed frames.
Jarod sat with their boy, Sydney, in his lap. It never ceased to amaze Jarod just how quickly their children were growing up. They had turned four just last week.
"Daddy," Sydney said as he looked up to his father with large blue eyes, "I'm bored. I wanna go home and see Uncle Broots and everyone. Are we almost done?"
"Almost. Just one more, a family portrait, and we're done." Jarod smiled, ruffling the boy's dark hair. His son huffed impatiently. He had to admit, the boy had his mother's looks and personality. He was quick-witted like her too.
Parker smiled over at the two most important guys in her life, then down at the small brunette sitting next to her. Catherine was Sydney's twin; they were the same in practically every way: their favorite food was PEZ (Parker blamed that one on Jarod), if that could be considered a food, their favorite color was green, and so on. They were both smart as a whip, too. In fact, the only real difference between the two was that Catherine tended to be much more calm than her brother.
Parker knelt down, and began to tickle her daughter. Catherine giggled uncontrollably, her brown eyes sparkling. Jarod soon joined in, tickling Sydney. Everyone was laughing.
The photographer saw her opportunity, and quickly snapped an impromptu picture.
"That one's on the house," she said as the family finally began to calm down. "And now, why don't we try for a more serious pose?" The kids moved next to each other, sitting between their parents. Everyone smiled, and looked into the camera. Right before the photographer could shoot the photo, Jarod whispered, "I love you." Parker's smile grew even wider just before the bulb flashed.
A computer set up at the back of the room was already showing a digital picture of their first family picture. The screen was filled with the shot of the family, a laughing mass of parents and children playing with each other, caught in the perfect moment of joy, that seemed to hold promise for a wonderful future.
End.
Part VII
by Oriana Lemke
7/7
Not going.
She wasn't going with him. That one sentence she'd said was running through his mind over and over. He hadn't replied. Hell, he couldn't have moved, if he'd tried. Jarod just stood there, trying to absorb her words. Already ideas were popping into his head: It was a bad joke... He'd done something wrong... Something was scaring her away. The only thing that seemed clear to Jarod was that this was just a mistake, her leaving, an awful mistake. Something had gone wrong, obviously, but he was sure it wasn't something that couldn't be fixed.
All of these thoughts came in and went in a matter of seconds. A few seconds, however, was all it took for Parker to walk out the door, and head down the hall towards the nearest elevator. Jarod ran out the door, mentally hitting himself for not stopping her immediately, and looked both ways down the hall. He spotted her, with her back facing him, just as the elevator doors were sliding together. He dashed down the hall.
"Parker, wait! Please--" He reached the doors just as they finished closing. "Damn it!" Not wanting to wait for the next elevator, Jarod ran back down the hall, passed their room to the end, to where the stairs were located.
Parker stood in the elevator, staring at the shiny metal wall. This was so unfair-- she was running away from the one place she wanted to be most. The Centre always won in the end, Parker thought. This was proof. She felt her eyes begin to well, but she forced herself to remain in contral, clenching her jaw and straightening her posture. Then she noticed her reflection on the elevator's metal side, and the tears fell anyhow. Not the angry tears that she felt like shedding, the kind always accompanied by a few satisfying cries of pain and anger. No, the composed woman permitted herself just two tears, two warm moist drops that slowly made their way down her cheek. As the doors slid open, Parker impatiently wiped them away as she turned and walked out into the hotel lobby.
Jarod pushed through the doors at the bottom of the stairwell, finding himself in the hotel lobby. He silently cursed the size of this bottom level, the waves of parents and children heading in a hundred directions, and the numerous shops that could be searched, all the while making his way quickly through the crowd, desperately searching for Parker.
Then he spotted her, just entering the revolving glass doors leading outside, and his heart lifted.
"Parker! Parker, wait! Parker!" Jarod shouted over and over as he impatiently pushed his way through the crowd.
Parker heard, and it ripped her heart apart. She debating forgeting her rental car and just grabbing a taxi, but it was obvious there wasn't one in sight, so she began to walk faster, determined to lose Jarod. Despite the fact that she was outside, she could still hear Jarod's shouts from inside the hotel.
"God, why does he have to make this any harder?" Parker asked in a quaivering voice.
"Parker!" Jarod could see her just entering the large park across the street, as he finally made it out of the building. He resumed full-speed running, though he was slowed by the cars he had to weave around in the street. As he made it to the park, he could see her nearing the large marble fountain.
She was close enough to feel the cool mist of the approaching fountain, but her steps didn't slow. Parker had no intention of slowing down until she was out of Atlanta, and far enough away that Jarod would no longer be in danger.
At last, he reached her, just in front of the fountain. She sensed him behind her. The thought casually came and went, of just how long she'd had that sixth sense when it came to him. Forever, she realized was the answer. Since they were children, since that first meeting, she'd always had that instinct about him.
"Parker, would you stop?" And she did. Everything inside of her was screaming for Parker to keep going, to protect him. Yet she stopped, simply because he had asked her. She didn't turn to face him, though. That would just be too hard.
Jarod reached out to touch her, his hand brushing the small of her back. He was surprised to feel the solid form of her gun. The dark suit, her gun... He heard her reach for something in her coat jacket, and the sound of her working a lighter was like the final puzzle piece. She was returning to the way she used to be, Jarod realized. To the protective shell of the Ice Queen that nobody screwed with, let alone got close to.
"Parker, please," Jarod whispered. "Talk to me. Tell me what's going on." Immediately, Parker tensed.
"Go away," Parker insisted.
"I know you don't want that."
"I don't give a damn what you think you know," she snapped, hoping her old attitude would come in handy. "Jesus, I've packed my bags, I've told you straight out that I wasn't going with you--what the hell do you need to get the hint? I want nothing to do with you!" Silence. Complete and painful silence. She closed her eyes tight, wishing for it all to be over.
"I know you're hurting," Jarod whispered after a moment. "I don't know what's going on...but please, just let me help."
"Would you just leave?!" Parker shouted.
"Can't we at least try to work this out together?" No answer. "Is there a reason you won't let me help you?" Still nothing. Parker didn't trust her own voice, and besides, what was there left to say that would make him leave?
"There's nothing I can do to change your mind, is there?" There was a sad tinge of acceptance in his low voice. "I don't want to lose you, but you... you really want me to leave, don't you?" A single tear slipped through Parker's still-closed eye.
Neither one spoke. There was no need.
Jarod reached out.
It would take everything he had to stop his fingers from touching her.
He turned around and walked back to the hotel. He had two plane tickets to cancel. California just didn't offer the same interest for him anymore.
It took her awhile to realize that he wasn't coming back. It took her even longer to accept it. But she wouldn't cry. She wouldn't allow herself to lose control like that. After all, the old Miss Parker was back, and the old Miss Parker never cried. She silently slid her sunglasses on, and took a final puff of her cigarette before snuffing it out with her heel. She walked the rest of the way across the park to her rented car, her face emotionless and her footsteps certain.
~~~~~~~~~
Jarod drove along the busy highway, his mind nowhere near the road in front of him. He didn't even know where he was going. As long as it was away from Atlanta, he supposed it didn't really matter. Deciding he needed something to distract him, Jarod reached over and turned on the radio. A song he hadn't heard before was just beginning.
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard
"Great," Jarod muttered as he turned the radio off. "Like I really need to hear something like that right now."
~~~~~~~~~
Parker drove aimlessly, completely oblivious to her surroundings. She hadn't touched the lit cigarette resting in the ashtray, which was now burned all the way to the butt, and cutting and passes that usually drew a line of profanities out of her mouth now occured without notice.
A car blared it horn as it passed her, snapping Parker out of her reverie. She glared at the car, but the truth was that she was grateful for the distraction. A distraction from thoughts of beautiful brown eyes, that adorable smile...
"I am truly pathetic," Parker remarked. She pressed a button to turn on the stereo, positive that music was just the thing to keep her from thinking of a certain man. The song that filled her car had already begun, but the background music had a sort of sad note to it that caught Parker's attention.
And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
"Oh, yeah, this'll really help me get Jarod out of my head," Parker muttered as she pressed the tuning button a couple times, switching to the only other station she remembered as having decent music. There was a slight pause as the radio changed, then the same tune resumed.
I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh, you gave me light
"Fate's having a hayday with my misery," Parker murmured, pressing the on/off button hard with one well-manicured finger.
~~~~~~~~~
"Sir? Excuse me, sir, but you forgot your briefcase," the flight attendant said, pointing back to a black leather case placed in one of the hard blue plastic chairs of the airport terminal. Jarod, dressed in a navy blue Armani suit, looked down at his hand, realizing that she was right--all he had in his hand was his laptop carrying case.
"Thank you," Jarod smiled politely. He walked back to his chair and picked up the briefcase, only to have it open on him. Papers spilled out onto the floor.
"Oh, no," the attendant said as she walked back to him. "Here, let me help you with that." She bent down and picked up a few folders; from between two of them fluttered down a polaroid picture. She caught the picture, and smiled at it as she handed the folders back to Jarod.
"What a lovely picture. Your family?" Glancing up from his briefcase, a sad sort of smile grew on his face as he saw what she was talking about.
"No, they're not. But they're both very dear to me," Jarod said as he took the picture from her, tucking it into the breast pocket of his suit. "Um, thank you for helping with my papers, but my plane's about to leave, so I'd better get going." He made his way past the flight attendant and boarded the plane.
The airplane wasn't at all crowded, which was best, since it'd give Jarod a chance to rest. This last pretend, in a Chicago law firm, had been exhausting, with horrible hours and a very detailed trap to be set for a kidnapper. It would feel good to get home for a few days, before he left again.
Home... It had taken awhile for him to find the perfect spot, but he'd finally done it: a cozy two-story house, white with blue trimming, in a picture-perfect neighborhood overflowing with families. Best of all, he was right on the beach. Cape Cod was certainly his favorite out of all the places he'd visited. The house was his home now, the place he belonged, and knew would always be there when a pretend was over. He felt comfortable there, safe. The realtor had described it as the perfect family home, a chief attraction for Jarod.
Families. The thought led his hand into the breast pocket. Jarod was staring at the polaroid before he even realized it. He was standing with an arm around Parker, with Emily in between, all beaming; a happy moment frozen in time. He remembered when the picture had been taken: back in Chicago, while they were looking around a mall, Parker had spotted a photo booth. Emily and she had each grabbed one of his hands and tugged him over, giggling as they nudged him inside and closed the curtain. He'd been blinded by the flash, but it had been worth it, knowing that Parker had that picture of him. Then Emily had insisted on having a picture of he and Parker together, which neither had argued to. And, in the end, he got the picture of them all together.
"Three months," Jarod thought with a sigh. "Seems more like an eternity." He looked out the window, lost in his thoughts, as his hand -still holding the picture- came to rest on his chest. He eventually nodded off into a sleep filled with happy memories, from their childhood, to their time in Chicago. Even the white rabbit he'd given her.
When the plane landed over three hours later in Cape Cod, Jarod silently gathered his laptop and briefcase, left the plane, and walked out to where his car had waited for nearly two weeks, without once returning the smiles of friendly strangers.
Jarod drove slowly towards home, unconsciously using the streets crowded with specialty shops, a much longer route. It was as he was waiting for a light to turn green that a small store on the corner caught his eye. Placed in the window, amidst stuffed animals and cribs, was an oak rocking chair with a baby blue afghan hanging over one armrest. He could almost picture Parker slowly rocking in that chair, with a baby held snug in her arms... She would turn, and smile at him, her blue eyes sparkling... He'd bend down, kiss the forehead of their precious child, then kiss her on lips... Everything would be perfect...
A car horn snapped Jarod out of his reverie, and he glanced up to see that the light had changed. Without a second thought, he turned the corner, driving until he reached a parking garage a few blocks away. He impatiently unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of his car, not bothering to stop long enough to lock it. He hurried back to the baby shop, and entered, heading straight for the nearest salesperson.
"Hello, sir," the young brunette said. "Is there anything I can help you with?"
"Yes," Jarod smiled. "I'd like to have you deliver something to my house."
"Of course. What is it you want?"
"I'd like to buy that chair in the window."
~~~~~~~~~
Parker wasn't driving in her usual speed-demon manner. In fact, though she wasn't aware of it, she was driving nearly 10 miles beneath the posted limit of 35. And it wasn't as if there was traffic to slow her down; in fact, with it nearing dusk, it seemed everyone had opted to stay home tonight, leaving the streets empty save for a rare few cars or joggers. No one to actually notice the woman lost in her troubled thoughts.
He'd be in danger again, if she stayed.
It wasn't the only sign of her nervous and hesistant condition. In fact, anyone observing Parker would immediately notice that something was up: she was clicking her nails on the steering wheels, and constantly chewing on her lower lip. She'd attempted to smoke two cigarettes already, but each would nearly burn her fingers before she even remembered lighting them.
But going on without him was just too hard. Impossible.
Her mind was so completely full with other thoughts that she didn't even register the red light until she'd practically run it. Natural reaction sent her foot slamming against the brake. She bent forward a little from the sudden momentum, and it was as she was settling back in her seat that a store window caught her eye. It was closed, but lights illuminated the displays. She smiled wistfully at the cute stuffed animals, tiny baby clothes, and all the furniture a child could ever need. She especially liked the oak rocking chair set in the middle of the display--it was absolutely perfect.
The light had turned green, but there were no cars behind her to make Parker aware of this fact. She finally glanced up to the light and, with a sigh, released the break peddle. She continued down the deserted streets, heading for the beachfront of Cape Cod.
Maybe they could find a way. Together, they always had seemed stronger. Even as children.
She'd found a public parking lot six blocks or so from his place. Somehow going straight up his driveway seemed too... abrupt. It made things real and immediate. And suddenly, despite the long hours she'd already spent debating this decision, Parker needed time to sort out some thoughts.
She got out of the car, and took off her shoes, tossing them inside. They'd made her pink sweater set and black skirt more business-like, but heels seemed like an unnecessary nuisance for a walk on the beach. The shoes landed on the passenger's side seat, next to her polaroid of Jarod. She permitted herself only a quick glance at his happy grin before slamming the door shut.
She headed straight down to the water, slowly walking along, enjoying the feel of moist sand under her bare feet. At first she just walked quietly along, occassionally looking back at her footprints in the sand. Then, she saw the amazing colors that dusk was reflecting on the water, and she just stopped, and sat down.
In the distance, thunder began. Thick, dark clouds were quickly making their way to the ocean. It didn't take long for the rain to start, foregoing the traditional sprinkles to begin with a sudden rush of water. The downfall drenched Parker within moments, but she continued to just stare out at the remains of the sunset.
And with the hundreds of raindrops came her hundreds of doubts and concerns, all overflowing in her mind until finally they burst through in tears.
Parker sat, in the pouring rain, her face dripping with raindrops and tears, watching the sun disappear and the sky be overtaken by the dark, menacing storm, feeling more alone than ever.
~~~~~~~~~
Jarod stood in his bedroom, near the doors leading out onto the balcony, watching the storm. No lights on, just the last beams of dusk filling the room. It was all so mesmerizing, the way the waves clashed against the sand, the patterns lightning cut in the sky, even the paths raindrops made down the glass. Usually these storms, so frequent in this area, calmed him; tonight, however, nothing could keep his unhappy thoughts at bay.
He looked over at the rocking chair, and sighed. He'd bought it without any hesitation. At the time it'd made sense--the image that seeing that rocking chair had brought forth had been great. He'd had this incredible need to own that chair, to have it in that one certain spot on the balcony. Not that it had been a bad purchase; the rocking chair seemed to be made for the house, like the finishing touch to make it feel like home. He'd brought it inside a few hours ago, to protect it from the rain.
Jarod walked over to it, his figure barely illuminated, and ran his fingers over the smooth wood. He'd really bought it for her. It seemed to fit her so well, or at least the Miss Parker that he knew, not the persona she used to protect herself from being hurt.
He shook his head. It wasn't as if it really mattered. She'd never see it anyway.
Jarod walked out of the room, and headed to the staircase, stopping to glance back into the room. He stared at the chair, his face brightened by the lights turned on downstairs. He knew it was a gift he'd never be able to give her. Still, he just couldn't bring himself to get rid of it.
He walked down the stairs, and went into the kitchen to make some hot cocoa. From the window above the sink he could see the houses across the street, their windows glowing from lights within. He always liked to wonder what the families were doing inside. Then, as always, came the question that ruined the moment: Would he ever know firsthand?
It was as he was pouring the steaming liquid that he heard -barely- a knock on the front door. There was a short pause, followed by another knock, as short and quiet -almost hesitant- as the first.
"Who could possibly be out in this weather?" Jarod mused. He made his way through the kitchen and living room to the front door. He set down the mug of hot cocoa, and opened the door.
There stood Parker. Her head had risen immediately as the door opened, and she seemed startled to actually see Jarod. She'd been staring at her bare feet, on the verge of walking away while there was still time. Now, as she saw him, Parker knew there was nowhere else she could be.
Jarod was speechless. He could only stand, and stare at her. She was soaked; her clothes were clinging to her skin, and her dark hair was dripping, with stray strands dangling around her cheeks. Her blue eyes -a little moist with a few remaining tears- glistened as they reflected the warm light coming from inside the house. She was here. She was really here.
For a moment, for a brief, breath-stopping moment, she just stood, absorbing every detail about him, trying to freeze the moment in time. It wasn't as if she could speak--were there words to fit what she feeling? She was soaked, she was freezing, but Parker felt safe and warm and content, just being this close to him.
"Parker," Jarod breathed, an ecstatic smile instantly appearing on his face. That was all she needed. She took the one step between them, and threw her arms around him, nestling her head next to his neck. His arms went around her, enclosing her in a tight hug, unable to do anything but smile joyously, reveling in the sensation of having her so near to him. A single set of tears escaped her eyes, but they were -for the first time in a long while- tears of happiness and relief. She tightened her hold on him, not wanting to ever let go.
They remained that way, in the doorway, in each other's arms, for a long while, as a starry night replaced the storm. They were together, finally, and home.
~~~~~~~~
A man walked through that same doorway, but long after that night. He stopped first, by the mantle over the fireplace, to stare at mementos and photographs collected to reflect so many happy memories. He then headed up the stairs, and entered the nearest room with an open door. It was a lovely bedroom, decorated in the same warm spirit as the rest of the house. A white antique canopy bed took up some of the space, but it was the balcony that really caught your eye.
An ocean breeze lazily billowed through white curtains as the man made his way, through the open balcony doors, outside. He stood, enjoying the salty sent and bright sunlight. He glanced over at a rocking chair placed close to the edge, a teddy bear resting in its seat. He smiled, then headed back inside. The bedside tables were neatly kept, but the large dresser and mirror placed near the center of the wall showed signs of a busy family. The mirror's frame had snapshots stuck into it, and a variety of seashells and postcards were lying all over the top of the dresser, along with a few PEZ dispensers.
It was the three pictures, the only ones framed, in the middle of the souveniers that caught his attention. To one side was an older photo, Miss Parker's favorite, that contained her mother. To the other side was a polaroid of three people, taken over six years ago. And, in the middle, was a photo from a wedding. In a beautiful white gown was Parker, and looking rather handsome in a black suit was Jarod; it was a picture of their first dance at the reception, and it was obvious from the way they held each other close and stared into each other's eyes, how much in love they were.
"Hey, Sydney!" called a familiar voice from the bottom of the stairs. "The others are here!" Sydney looked up from the photos, and smiled as he heard the ruckus downstairs as a small mass of people greeted each other.
"Coming, Broots!" Sydney assured him. He walked out of the bedroom, and down to meet with everyone else. Everyone was beaming as they made the introductions, which were plenty. Sydney had brought his wife, Michelle, and his son, Nicholas, who had ended up bringing his own wife and three children along. Emily and Constance were there as well, along with Debbie and Broots. When it finally seemed that introductions were finished, and being replaced with the chatter of catching up, Emily spoke what was on everyone's minds.
"So where are our hosts? You'd think they'd be here to greet us!"
"Yeah," Debbie agreed. "They should be here, celebrating the big day, shouldn't they?"
"Actually, I found a note from them in the kitchen," Sydney explained. "They want us all to make ourselves comfortable. The note said they'd be back by noon, so it shouldn't be too much longer." Nodding, everyone went back to their own little conversations.
"Wasn't this idea of hers great?" Debbie asked Emily. "Our first official reunion -with everybody together for the first time- here in Cape Cod. It's gonna be wonderful--a whole week together. And that barbecue Jarod has planned on the beach tomorrow sounds like a blast!"
"Yeah, it'll be nice to be around you guys again. I mean, we all stay in touch, and we've gotten together in smaller numbers a lot--"
"Especially Sydney and Jarod's clone. They're really close," Debbie interrupted.
"Right. But everyone together at once, now that's the best part. And isn't it wonderful, how we're starting this whole reunion today, on their 5th wedding anniversary?"
"I know. It's so romantic," Debbie sighed, "those two finally getting together, after everything they'd been through. I learned a lot more about them after daddy moved us out to Texas. I always thought those two had something going on."
"Yes, it was quite obvious to everyone, at one point or another," Sydney agreed, joining in their conversation. "I always wondered how things would have turned out between those two, if everything with the Centre had never happened."
"I don't think it matters, really," Debbie said confidently. "They're meant to be, simple as that. They'd have found a way to find each other. That's just the way they are."
"Hey!" Nicholas shouted from the doorway. "Two more cars are pulling up--it's Jarod's family!"
"About time!" Debbie laughed as a new group of people flooded into the house. The first one inside was the younger Jarod, though he really wasn't that young anymore.
"Sydney!" Jarod called out, moving over to the older man. "We finally made it!"
~~~~~~~~~
Across town, inside a building with the sign "Capeside Photo Studio", sat a happy family of four. Already they'd had a few shots taken of each child, but it was the family pictures that were more important to the parents, so they were waiting while the photographer changed frames.
Jarod sat with their boy, Sydney, in his lap. It never ceased to amaze Jarod just how quickly their children were growing up. They had turned four just last week.
"Daddy," Sydney said as he looked up to his father with large blue eyes, "I'm bored. I wanna go home and see Uncle Broots and everyone. Are we almost done?"
"Almost. Just one more, a family portrait, and we're done." Jarod smiled, ruffling the boy's dark hair. His son huffed impatiently. He had to admit, the boy had his mother's looks and personality. He was quick-witted like her too.
Parker smiled over at the two most important guys in her life, then down at the small brunette sitting next to her. Catherine was Sydney's twin; they were the same in practically every way: their favorite food was PEZ (Parker blamed that one on Jarod), if that could be considered a food, their favorite color was green, and so on. They were both smart as a whip, too. In fact, the only real difference between the two was that Catherine tended to be much more calm than her brother.
Parker knelt down, and began to tickle her daughter. Catherine giggled uncontrollably, her brown eyes sparkling. Jarod soon joined in, tickling Sydney. Everyone was laughing.
The photographer saw her opportunity, and quickly snapped an impromptu picture.
"That one's on the house," she said as the family finally began to calm down. "And now, why don't we try for a more serious pose?" The kids moved next to each other, sitting between their parents. Everyone smiled, and looked into the camera. Right before the photographer could shoot the photo, Jarod whispered, "I love you." Parker's smile grew even wider just before the bulb flashed.
A computer set up at the back of the room was already showing a digital picture of their first family picture. The screen was filled with the shot of the family, a laughing mass of parents and children playing with each other, caught in the perfect moment of joy, that seemed to hold promise for a wonderful future.
End.
