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Chapter or Story 
Chapter or Story
Disclaimer: "The Pretender" and all it’s characters don’t belong to me, but to some wonderful people at NBC, who deserve promotions. Please don’t sue me, I am making no money from this. I just really enjoy the show. Also, the song is owned by its respective artist, I don’t take credit for it.
Note: This is the continuation of "To Honor" (you should start with part one). I have chosen to turn it into a six part series, so look for more stories soon.
To Honor
part 4
"To Comfort: Two Miracles"
By Dede
He was shifting in his chair for the third time since the meeting had started over four hours ago. He disliked the Tower enough as it was, but the discussion had become repetitive and trying. Mr. Parker kept growling about how he never should have been allowed to see it coming. The Director’s file of loyal employees who had worked for Raines too long to be less than under his control was extensive. And the general census was worried frustration. Sydney was the only one there Lyle could identify with. He had concern for Raines’ intentions toward the Parkers, Jarod, and probably himself; however, he left his name out as an obvious addition to the target list.
"Raines must be found. We can’t have him out there, especially with Jarod still on the loose. If he should find him first, the scales would be tipped greatly in his favor," Sydney insisted. Lyle gazed hard at him. ‘No mention of Emily… thanks, Syd.’
"The matter should be considered carefully. Thank you for your input gentlemen," was the Director’s less than subtle dismissal of Sydney, Lyle, Mr. Parker and all except her two top advisors. Lyle stood without a word, straightened his suit, and was halfway to the elevator when his cell-phone rang.
"Yes," he managed, as he stepped in next to Mr. Parker.
"Are you alone?" a sweet Russian accent craved a response. Lyle tensed.
"Something wrong?" Mr. Parker inquired suspiciously. Sydney glanced at Lyle, confirming a thought.
"No." Lyle answered both parties.
"Mr. Parker about Donoterase, is it still operational?" Sydney stole the attention from Lyle. Mr. Parker sighed slightly.
"I don’t believe so. The Tower didn’t want Raines to gain access to the information, so they shut the place down. The cloning data has disappeared and we’re sure the bastard took everything when he heard his case wasn’t going well." Mr. Parker was annoyed with this development; however, Sydney was pleased. Now, if they could just kill Raines the possibility of cloning Jarod again would be lost forever. The problem being if Raines decided to continue with his experiments, well….
Lyle didn’t hear another word on the phone, until he had slipped out of the elevator on SL 7 and into an empty office.
"I’m alone," he whispered and flopped into the abandoned chair he found.
"Lyle, I went to see the doctor today…" Emily started slowly in her own voice. Panic boiled in Lyle’s chest.
"What’s wrong?"
"Nothing’s wrong… per se…" she squirmed in the conversation, not really wanting to give him such a shock over the phone, still… "Is there a history of twins in your family?"
"Yes," he sounded like an electronic answering service. Then silence whipped through like a deafening wind.
"Are you there, Lyle?" Emily nervously prompted a reply. Her fingers twisted the phone cord in her new bedroom.
"Yes."
"Do you understand?" She hoped he did. Lyle always seemed to know what she was thinking; yet his grasp of concepts was slightly slower than hers.
"Yes." Again the word had a dull edge on it.
"Lyle?" Emily pleaded. Lyle sighed heavily, feeling the air move in and out of his lungs. Rubbing his eyes a moment, he put the phone back up to his ear.
"I’ll come see you."
-----------
Emily had just hung up the phone with Lyle, when Jarod looked in. He had with him a notebook from his computer project. He examined her appearance. She was only three and half months and hadn’t really put on any weight, nor was she experiencing more than the occasional headache and morning sickness.
"How are you feeling, Sis?" Jarod greeted her warmly.
"Still normal, despite today’s surprise." Emily avoided his eyes.
"You spoke with him," Jarod scolded as he sat down on her bed.
"Yes. He’s coming here," she admitted.
"Then I’m leaving." Jarod stood to exit.
"Why?" Emily asked gently. In every person there exists a few key triggers and once hit the reaction is not only explosive but can be completely out of personality for the individual. This seemingly innocence yet loaded question was one of those triggers.
"Why? Why? You invite the murderer of my bother to this house and have the nerve to ask me why," Jarod seethed. He couldn’t believe this insanity and didn’t want to deal with it.
"Our brother and yes, I do," she corrected him boldly.
"You didn’t even know him. You weren’t there. You weren’t the one aimed at, only to have Kyle take the bullet for you. He gave his life for mine… and now you expect me to walk around with his killer like nothing happened?" he growled in her face as she rose to challenge him. The pain was similar to raw slits across his heart and she was causing them to bleed.
"You don’t have to act like nothing happened, but you could at least tolerate…" she tried to pacify her brother.
"No!" he shouted, then calming down the best he could, Jarod resumed speaking, "No. I was holding my brother’s hands when he died. I watched the life drain out of him and I won’t do this for you." Jarod couldn’t handle all this. He had always done things his way, and never had to alter that for others. Now, he had a family with their own demands. Jarod was exact in pleasing them, because he was so glad to have a mother and a sister, however, this problem drove deep into his core. He couldn’t bring himself to let go of the anger or the guilt, not yet anyway.
"Jarod, I don’t kid myself. Lyle is a killer, but he’s trying to change. That should be worth something, shouldn’t it?" Emily placed a hand on his shoulder, rubbing the tension out.
"Do you love him?" he asked, looking at her firmly.
"I don’t know." Her words sounded true, but she dropped her eyes to say them.
"Don’t lie to me, ever," he begged her. If they lost trust, they would lose everything.
"Yes, Jarod, on some small levels, but I love you so much more," she attempted to reassure. Jarod thought a minute, wrestling with whether or not to test her.
"Then don’t see him." The tone was defeated and hurt, as if it needed no answer to understand the situation.
"You can’t ask that," she said in disbelief. Emily turned and paced, stopping when she heard his voice again.
"I just did."
"Jarod why don’t you understand, if I can get through to Lyle, think of all the people I’ll have saved… starting with him. Besides, honestly Kyle and Lyle aren’t that different. They both just needed someone to give them…" Jarod threw his notebook in frustration and it hit hard against the wall.
"… a chance," Emily finished. She had touched on a sore subject. Jarod knew all too well that Kyle was raised by Raines with complete negative reinforcement, had become a serial killer, and needed Jarod to open his eyes. The thought that Lyle could be anything like his brother was a bit much, though. Jarod was carrying around this hatred, and unfortunately Emily had voiced it.
"I’ll be home in the morning. Call me… if you need anything," were his only words to her. Emily shuddered as he left and walked over to pick up the papers from his notebook that had scattered.
---------
"Broots?" Sydney called as he entered his office. The afternoon had dragged on since the meeting. Lyle had ‘unexpectedly’ disappeared and Miss Parker was even considering going home early tonight. Meanwhile, Sydney found one person still working vigorously.
"Yeah, Syd…" Broots answered, spinning his chair to see if anyone else was with his friend.
"How’s the project coming?" Sydney inquired. He walked to the stereo on the desk and placed a CD in to play.
"No luck so far… what’s that?" Broots replied.
"Classical… ‘Notturno’ from Midsummernight’s Dream by Mendelssohn," he explained patiently.
"Oh." Broots tried to sound knowledgeable, but Sydney noticed his confusion.
"I find it much more enchanting than what today’s youth listens to," he commented.
"It’s nice."
"No sign of the Major?" Sydney returned to Broots’ computer.
"None of J. C. either," he reported grimly. Broots wanted to help Jarod find the rest of his family. Over the last year, he had really gained a respect and admiration for the pretender. Besides, everything was different now and things had changed so rapidly, he could only imagine how Jarod was dealing with all of it. Sydney said Jarod was well, but that only meant Jarod cared enough about his mentor to appear fine.
"J. C.?" Sydney asked.
"You know, Jarod’s Clone. I couldn’t imagine a kid going through life without a name, so I just thought it up. I guess it’s kinda stupid," he clarified.
"Don’t be so hard on yourself, Broots. I think it shows how compassionate you are, however, perhaps we should change the meaning. Instead of J. C. standing for Jarod’s Clone, what if it stands for Jarod Charles after his ‘brother’ and the good Major." Sydney always knew how to make something perfect.
"I like it." Broots smiled. He then turned back to his search only to have the Mainframe fold up on him.
"Oh, great! Not again," Broots growled in frustration.
"What is it?" Sydney examined the screen.
"Someone has been hacking into the database and copying files, especially on the Parkers," he said between the clicking of his keyboard.
"I’ve heard. It isn’t only files on the Parkers though, almost all the major research subjects’ files, classified or not, have been compromised," Sydney explicated with a note of anxiety.
"Well, whoever’s doing this is good. He’s broken into areas, I can’t access!" Broots glanced back, "Syd, what if this guy’s after Miss Parker?"
"I wouldn’t worry, Broots. These days, I would be more concerned with Lyle and his situation," he assured. Although, inside Sydney was concerned that it was Raines and his associates hiding out wherever they were, planning revenge.
"That is one arrangement, I will never understand," Broots remarked, when he thought of Lyle and Jarod’s sister Emily together.
"I don’t know. Maybe there’s hope for all of us," Sydney mused.
--------
Lyle knocked more boldly than usual. He was actually eager to see Emily and he didn’t care what anyone thought. It was a happiness like this which made him forget his own name.
Margaret answered the door in a long dark dress and her coat already on. Lyle wasted no time following her in.
"Good evening, Ms. Riter," he started, trying to impress upon her what good manners he had.
"Well, it’s a bit chilly," she observed and tightened her coat tie. "She’s waiting for you upstairs."
"Thanks," Lyle responded on his way toward the stairs.
"Mr. Lyle… a moment?" Margaret requested hesitantly. Lyle stopped mid-stride and came quickly back to her.
"Of course," he replied obediently. She was never one to shrink away from a difficult topic, so looking him in the eye, she said,
"I will never forgive you for killing my son. I loved him very much and you ended his life before I ever saw him." Lyle stood frozen for a time, trying to find the words. Nothing came to him. He hadn’t realized she would confront him so plainly about what happened.
"I’m sorry." He must have sounded like a child, who had broken a priceless family heirloom.
"Your apology, I don’t care about. I care about my little girl, soon to be a big girl. I also am concerned with you and my first-born who still has hatred in his eyes," Margaret again surprised him with her bluntness.
"Both of you have a right to that hate. As for your daughter, I swear to you…"
"Not to me, to her and him," she corrected.
"I won’t allow anything to harm Emily," Lyle vowed to her. The elderly woman searched in his eyes for several seconds.
"Thank you." She smiled faintly and turned to pick up her night bag. He didn’t know what she had seen, but was grateful for her approval. The comfort from this, however, left him wondering over his own motives.
"No, thank you," Lyle managed to say before Margaret reached the front door.
--------------
Sitting alone with the moonlight mere wisps about the room, Emily heard the front door open. He was here. The man who was soon to be a father, the one who was a lover, a killer, and a very frightened little boy inside. She hadn’t done much since Jarod left but think about the next few minutes. She didn’t blame Jarod’s outrage or her mother’s more subtle disapproval. They were within their rights. Still she desired this happy ending with Lyle. Emily scolded herself for the indulgence. Honestly, hadn’t life taught her not to trust… to look out for family? She didn’t love him after all.
Oh, Lyle was infatuated with her and the idea of her having his children. Emily didn’t question his obsessive love. She questioned her own emotions. What did she feel deep in her core? It was then that she decided she wasn’t in love. No, love wasn’t the word. She had been impressed by the man she discovered, when she had gone searching for a demon. Emily had been struck by his strength and empathized with his pain, even that could had been caused by her undercover persona. Once released from the shackles of Emma, she had surely just been surprised by his intensity and kindness. When a man as complex, distant, and normally cold as Lyle serves you his heart and soul on a silver platter, refusing the offering can result in a violent shattering of the fragile gift and utter destruction of future ventures. Lyle might have been scarred so traumatically that he would have never opened up. Besides, it seemed the more candid with her he became, the less cruel and angry he was. She had comforted herself in the knowledge that she was taming the fires of his rage.
Now, everything was all eschew. Emily had no doubt Jarod was headed over to Parker’s, the very woman he used to run from and Lyle, the killer of her brother, was downstairs having a conversation with her mother. The world is upside down where enemies are friends. She could feel the changes coming under her skin. Yes, changes were going to be made and it was her choice alone. As the stairs creaked of his entry, Emily finally decided to do what she hadn’t wanted to, what she needed to, if she was going to protect those she cared about.
"Hi," he greeted her coming through her door. She was wearing loose cargo jeans, and a man’s dress shirt with her hair falling in locks about her face. Emily was motionless at first trapped with her mind.
"Lyle. Is my mother gone yet?" Emily finally acknowledged his presence while he removed his coat, setting it on the end of the bed.
"Yeah, I think she just left." Lyle slid over to her and, with a gentle pull on her hands, helped her stand.
"Good." Emily felt like being sick. She didn’t know how to tell him, but she had to end this. Jarod was too important and maybe he was right. She was certainly too close to see clearly.
"Aishiteru," he whispered romantically in her ear.
"I see you studied up, since we were together," she remarked lightly.
"That’s not the proper reply." Lyle gazed devilishly at her, running a hand through her silk hair.
"What do you want me to say?" She was staling. Why was she staling? Emily wasn’t afraid of him, besides she was her mother’s daughter.
"Translate it," he urged.
"Lyle…" she began to protest, then caught his eye, " ‘I love you.’" The contentment in his features was nearly comical.
"We can make this work."
"No, Lyle, we can’t," she declared, walking away from his embrace so not to have to look at him.
"Emily, I want to be with you and my children." He followed and reached for her arm.
"It’s impossible," she hissed and pulled away in frustration. Emily wasn’t angry with him, of course, she just didn’t have anyone else to take it out on.
"No if we…" he started, upset as well.
"Lyle… Lyle, I… we have to leave the area soon." There she said it. The truth in this statement was small, but Jarod and her mother would understand, if she wanted to move.
"Where?"
"I can’t tell you," she whispered. The words hit Lyle like a bullet. The fear was crippling to him.
"Why?" He begged for logic, reason, anything that he could argue with.
"I can’t do this anymore. I’m going to have two little babies soon. It’s too dangerous." Emily tried to explain in such a way, that he wouldn’t think it was this love she was convinced she didn’t feel.
"Not with Parker and me heading the search," he assured her.
"Eventually the Triumvirate will get tired of waiting and they’ll fire you. At the Centre, they don’t call it termination for nothing." Lyle heard her fear, fear for the children, fear for him, but no fear for herself.
"I would rather die than leave you." He was being possessive again, but part of her wanted to be possessed. He was a constant, something in her life that didn’t move and wasn’t going to abandon or forget her.
"What about the twins? What about Jarod?" she attempted to remain strong.
"You would give up everything for family…" Lyle marveled and began to understand what she was really doing.
"I fight for them. This is what’s needed.." Emily’s voice was lost and sad, yet loyal and obedient.
"But not all you want or deserve…" He came toward her, angry at the injustice.
"I want a normal life!" she screamed in his face and walked over to stand in front of the window.
"And I can’t give it to you." Now, Lyle was lost.
"No, you can’t." Her voice was quiet and defeated.
"So round and round we go…" Lyle sighed painfully.
"And where it stops, nobody knows," she whispered looking over at him, loss in her eyes.
"You’re wrong. It stops here. It stops right here." Lyle pulled her against him and kissed Emily with all the urgency of his words. She pushed back and stared but only a moment. Emily took sides of his face in her hands and pressed a heated kiss into his lips.
Somewhere a song played.
("Do I Have To Say The Words?" by Bryan Adams)
"Rescue me from the mire
Whisper words of desire
Rescue me - darling rescue me
With your arms open wide
Want you here by my side
Come to me - darling rescue me
When this world's closing in
There's no need to pretend
Set me free - darling rescue me
I don't wanna let you go
So I'm standing in your way
I never needed anyone like I'm needin' you today
Do I have to say the words?
Do I have to tell the truth?
Do I have to shout it out?
Do I have to say a prayer?
Must I prove to you how good we are together?
Do I have to say the words…"
-----------------
Jarod was cruising down a dusty road for the millionth time in the last few years, but everything in his life had once again changed. His eyes were trained on the endlessness of the highway, but his mind was lost elsewhere. Lyle? What was it about the man that made him act so crazy? It wasn’t like Miss Parker or Sydney had done much less to him. In fact, when one thought about it, Lyle temporarily stopped his heart, kidnapped him, and killed his brother. That was it. The total sum of hatred in Jarod was over these three major events. The other murders that Lyle had committed and what he had done to Miss Parker were important, however, they simply added to his fury.
Since these atrocities had been committed, Lyle had romanced his sister. This had understandably annoyed Jarod. Now, Lyle was trying to…. well, what the hell was he trying to do!? He had been civil with Jarod, even pleasant. He had helped them hid from the Centre and seemed to care about this… these children Emily was having. He loved Emily. So could that make up for all the hurt he had caused?
No. Not in Jarod’s opinion, it couldn’t. Then the more he thought about it, he became concerned that some small part of this, the most angry, violent part, was jealousy. Was he jealous because (just as when he found his brother) now that he had found his sister, Lyle was trying to take her from him? She was in love with Lyle; he knew that, even if she didn’t. But she loved Jarod too. He was deathly afraid that Lyle would take his family from him, again. Jarod couldn’t breathe when he imagined living without them.
That’s why he needed to leave. He didn’t want to lose Emily and standing there arguing wasn’t going to help anything. Jarod had to go to someone who understood, who knew the same confusion, and had the same view of this strange relationship… someone who could tell him what to do.
---------------
About the time Lyle arrived at Emily’s, Miss Parker was relaxing in her livingroom. She was contemplating how fast things were changing for Lyle, she hoped he could handle this. Then gradually as most of her thought had drifted lately, she began imagining Jarod. Two sides of the same coin or, as he once let roll off his tongue, two pieces of the same puzzle, Jarod and her were definitely and irreconcilably together for life. Parker wasn’t sure she minded that. He had saved her in so many ways and she just didn’t have hate in her heart for him, but she had her pride to think about, right? She was stronger than Lyle. He was ready to change who he was for Emily. Since when was Lyle noble?
The phone next to her rang, causing Parker to fall back to reality.
"What?" she answered lazily.
"Open your back door," were the simple words spoken before the dial tone sounded.
"WH…?" Miss Parker stayed on her couch, staring at the phone for what seemed like a long time; then finally she pushed herself off the cushions and straightened her black suit. After walking through the darkened kitchen, she pulled the shade up on the back door. There he stood, staring at her with pleading eyes. His hands idle at his sides, his emotion indiscernible, and his stance straight. At least he had been polite enough not to break in this time. She sighed and unlocked the latch. Hesitating to check his expression again, she opened the door.
"Jarod?" She responded to his entrance.
"Miss Parker, how has your evening been?" He tried to sound nonchalant as he looked around the kitchen and back at her.
"Quiet," she shut the door behind him and locked it, "What are you doing here?" she asked, after all he was violating the rules, wasn’t he? She had her gun, but suddenly she realized he didn’t appear the least concerned with the Centre.
"Lyle’s probably with her by now. Emily called and he said he would come, so I left." His explanation was reasonable to her.
"Where are they?" Parker inquired.
"Five hours away."
"You drove five hours to get here? What’s wrong?" Parker was surprised although she blushed when she recognized how much flattery hid in that journey.
"You haven’t heard then?" he asked casually.
"Heard what?" Parker followed him as he explored the hall moving toward her livingroom.
"Emily’s having twins." He collapsed down into the couch.
"Twins!" Her expression was a little of everything including exhaustion and annoyance.
"Don’t look at me, they don’t run in my family… at least not to my knowledge," Jarod defended.
"It’s just…. He didn’t say…"
"Now, try imagine they’re coming over right now," he added.
"Want a drink?" Parker asked, still somewhat in shock. An amused smirk played on Jarod’s lips and he nodded.
"For once, very much." Miss Parker couldn’t resist a response like that particularly coming from Jarod.
"Thank you. To one relationship, I don’t comprehend," he toasted. After clinking glasses, Parker watched him throw the wine down his throat and waited for the inexperienced reaction, but to her disappointment it never came. Jarod knew how alcohol burns and he prepared for it mentally before she finished pouring.
"Oh, who the hell knows why they love each other. Love’s an enigma." Parker sighed.
"It’s just they have so much conspiracy and past and pain swirling around them, but do they care? Not a bit. They only see each other and nothing else," Jarod complained openly.
"Well, you know in Shakespeare’s plays, he never gave a reason for love." She set her glass on the coffee table and came to rest next to him on the cushions.
"Except the stars," he observed and placed his glass along side hers.
"Yeah." They both leaned back and caught each other’s gaze. Romeo and Juliet, forbidden love and passion, Lyle and Emily? Maybe not, however perhaps…
"Do you remember me telling you ‘Love can change people?’" Jarod asked.
"Yes." Miss Parker remembered nearly everything he said to her.
"Was I right?" he pleaded for an easy answer with his abyss-like eyes.
"I don’t know." She placed her hand in his and gently squeezed. The reaction she got was a mix of surprise and wonder.
"What?" she asked, but not in the rude, demanding tone she normally formed the word. Her voice was soft, intimate yet unsure maybe even nervous. His brown eyes grew soft, but intense as he leaned closer to her. She thought about backing away when his lips grazed hers, but the moment they had shared in his cell all those months ago left a hunger in her, a desire.
(song continues)
"Rescue me from despair
Tell me you will be there
Help me please - darlin' rescue me
Every dream that we share
Every cross that we bear
Come to me - darlin' rescue me
I don't wanna let you go
So I'm standing in your way
I never needed anyone like I'm needin' you today
Do I have to say the words?
Do I have to tell the truth?
Do I have to shout it out?
Do I have to say a prayer?
Must I prove to you how good we are together?
Do I have to say the words?"
The End
E-mail: Please send me feedback, good or bad; just write a little note if you don’t want to write alot.
Note: This is the continuation of "To Honor" (you should start with part one). I have chosen to turn it into a six part series, so look for more stories soon.
part 4
"To Comfort: Two Miracles"
By Dede
He was shifting in his chair for the third time since the meeting had started over four hours ago. He disliked the Tower enough as it was, but the discussion had become repetitive and trying. Mr. Parker kept growling about how he never should have been allowed to see it coming. The Director’s file of loyal employees who had worked for Raines too long to be less than under his control was extensive. And the general census was worried frustration. Sydney was the only one there Lyle could identify with. He had concern for Raines’ intentions toward the Parkers, Jarod, and probably himself; however, he left his name out as an obvious addition to the target list.
"Raines must be found. We can’t have him out there, especially with Jarod still on the loose. If he should find him first, the scales would be tipped greatly in his favor," Sydney insisted. Lyle gazed hard at him. ‘No mention of Emily… thanks, Syd.’
"The matter should be considered carefully. Thank you for your input gentlemen," was the Director’s less than subtle dismissal of Sydney, Lyle, Mr. Parker and all except her two top advisors. Lyle stood without a word, straightened his suit, and was halfway to the elevator when his cell-phone rang.
"Yes," he managed, as he stepped in next to Mr. Parker.
"Are you alone?" a sweet Russian accent craved a response. Lyle tensed.
"Something wrong?" Mr. Parker inquired suspiciously. Sydney glanced at Lyle, confirming a thought.
"No." Lyle answered both parties.
"Mr. Parker about Donoterase, is it still operational?" Sydney stole the attention from Lyle. Mr. Parker sighed slightly.
"I don’t believe so. The Tower didn’t want Raines to gain access to the information, so they shut the place down. The cloning data has disappeared and we’re sure the bastard took everything when he heard his case wasn’t going well." Mr. Parker was annoyed with this development; however, Sydney was pleased. Now, if they could just kill Raines the possibility of cloning Jarod again would be lost forever. The problem being if Raines decided to continue with his experiments, well….
Lyle didn’t hear another word on the phone, until he had slipped out of the elevator on SL 7 and into an empty office.
"I’m alone," he whispered and flopped into the abandoned chair he found.
"Lyle, I went to see the doctor today…" Emily started slowly in her own voice. Panic boiled in Lyle’s chest.
"What’s wrong?"
"Nothing’s wrong… per se…" she squirmed in the conversation, not really wanting to give him such a shock over the phone, still… "Is there a history of twins in your family?"
"Yes," he sounded like an electronic answering service. Then silence whipped through like a deafening wind.
"Are you there, Lyle?" Emily nervously prompted a reply. Her fingers twisted the phone cord in her new bedroom.
"Yes."
"Do you understand?" She hoped he did. Lyle always seemed to know what she was thinking; yet his grasp of concepts was slightly slower than hers.
"Yes." Again the word had a dull edge on it.
"Lyle?" Emily pleaded. Lyle sighed heavily, feeling the air move in and out of his lungs. Rubbing his eyes a moment, he put the phone back up to his ear.
"I’ll come see you."
-----------
Emily had just hung up the phone with Lyle, when Jarod looked in. He had with him a notebook from his computer project. He examined her appearance. She was only three and half months and hadn’t really put on any weight, nor was she experiencing more than the occasional headache and morning sickness.
"How are you feeling, Sis?" Jarod greeted her warmly.
"Still normal, despite today’s surprise." Emily avoided his eyes.
"You spoke with him," Jarod scolded as he sat down on her bed.
"Yes. He’s coming here," she admitted.
"Then I’m leaving." Jarod stood to exit.
"Why?" Emily asked gently. In every person there exists a few key triggers and once hit the reaction is not only explosive but can be completely out of personality for the individual. This seemingly innocence yet loaded question was one of those triggers.
"Why? Why? You invite the murderer of my bother to this house and have the nerve to ask me why," Jarod seethed. He couldn’t believe this insanity and didn’t want to deal with it.
"Our brother and yes, I do," she corrected him boldly.
"You didn’t even know him. You weren’t there. You weren’t the one aimed at, only to have Kyle take the bullet for you. He gave his life for mine… and now you expect me to walk around with his killer like nothing happened?" he growled in her face as she rose to challenge him. The pain was similar to raw slits across his heart and she was causing them to bleed.
"You don’t have to act like nothing happened, but you could at least tolerate…" she tried to pacify her brother.
"No!" he shouted, then calming down the best he could, Jarod resumed speaking, "No. I was holding my brother’s hands when he died. I watched the life drain out of him and I won’t do this for you." Jarod couldn’t handle all this. He had always done things his way, and never had to alter that for others. Now, he had a family with their own demands. Jarod was exact in pleasing them, because he was so glad to have a mother and a sister, however, this problem drove deep into his core. He couldn’t bring himself to let go of the anger or the guilt, not yet anyway.
"Jarod, I don’t kid myself. Lyle is a killer, but he’s trying to change. That should be worth something, shouldn’t it?" Emily placed a hand on his shoulder, rubbing the tension out.
"Do you love him?" he asked, looking at her firmly.
"I don’t know." Her words sounded true, but she dropped her eyes to say them.
"Don’t lie to me, ever," he begged her. If they lost trust, they would lose everything.
"Yes, Jarod, on some small levels, but I love you so much more," she attempted to reassure. Jarod thought a minute, wrestling with whether or not to test her.
"Then don’t see him." The tone was defeated and hurt, as if it needed no answer to understand the situation.
"You can’t ask that," she said in disbelief. Emily turned and paced, stopping when she heard his voice again.
"I just did."
"Jarod why don’t you understand, if I can get through to Lyle, think of all the people I’ll have saved… starting with him. Besides, honestly Kyle and Lyle aren’t that different. They both just needed someone to give them…" Jarod threw his notebook in frustration and it hit hard against the wall.
"… a chance," Emily finished. She had touched on a sore subject. Jarod knew all too well that Kyle was raised by Raines with complete negative reinforcement, had become a serial killer, and needed Jarod to open his eyes. The thought that Lyle could be anything like his brother was a bit much, though. Jarod was carrying around this hatred, and unfortunately Emily had voiced it.
"I’ll be home in the morning. Call me… if you need anything," were his only words to her. Emily shuddered as he left and walked over to pick up the papers from his notebook that had scattered.
---------
"Broots?" Sydney called as he entered his office. The afternoon had dragged on since the meeting. Lyle had ‘unexpectedly’ disappeared and Miss Parker was even considering going home early tonight. Meanwhile, Sydney found one person still working vigorously.
"Yeah, Syd…" Broots answered, spinning his chair to see if anyone else was with his friend.
"How’s the project coming?" Sydney inquired. He walked to the stereo on the desk and placed a CD in to play.
"No luck so far… what’s that?" Broots replied.
"Classical… ‘Notturno’ from Midsummernight’s Dream by Mendelssohn," he explained patiently.
"Oh." Broots tried to sound knowledgeable, but Sydney noticed his confusion.
"I find it much more enchanting than what today’s youth listens to," he commented.
"It’s nice."
"No sign of the Major?" Sydney returned to Broots’ computer.
"None of J. C. either," he reported grimly. Broots wanted to help Jarod find the rest of his family. Over the last year, he had really gained a respect and admiration for the pretender. Besides, everything was different now and things had changed so rapidly, he could only imagine how Jarod was dealing with all of it. Sydney said Jarod was well, but that only meant Jarod cared enough about his mentor to appear fine.
"J. C.?" Sydney asked.
"You know, Jarod’s Clone. I couldn’t imagine a kid going through life without a name, so I just thought it up. I guess it’s kinda stupid," he clarified.
"Don’t be so hard on yourself, Broots. I think it shows how compassionate you are, however, perhaps we should change the meaning. Instead of J. C. standing for Jarod’s Clone, what if it stands for Jarod Charles after his ‘brother’ and the good Major." Sydney always knew how to make something perfect.
"I like it." Broots smiled. He then turned back to his search only to have the Mainframe fold up on him.
"Oh, great! Not again," Broots growled in frustration.
"What is it?" Sydney examined the screen.
"Someone has been hacking into the database and copying files, especially on the Parkers," he said between the clicking of his keyboard.
"I’ve heard. It isn’t only files on the Parkers though, almost all the major research subjects’ files, classified or not, have been compromised," Sydney explicated with a note of anxiety.
"Well, whoever’s doing this is good. He’s broken into areas, I can’t access!" Broots glanced back, "Syd, what if this guy’s after Miss Parker?"
"I wouldn’t worry, Broots. These days, I would be more concerned with Lyle and his situation," he assured. Although, inside Sydney was concerned that it was Raines and his associates hiding out wherever they were, planning revenge.
"That is one arrangement, I will never understand," Broots remarked, when he thought of Lyle and Jarod’s sister Emily together.
"I don’t know. Maybe there’s hope for all of us," Sydney mused.
--------
Lyle knocked more boldly than usual. He was actually eager to see Emily and he didn’t care what anyone thought. It was a happiness like this which made him forget his own name.
Margaret answered the door in a long dark dress and her coat already on. Lyle wasted no time following her in.
"Good evening, Ms. Riter," he started, trying to impress upon her what good manners he had.
"Well, it’s a bit chilly," she observed and tightened her coat tie. "She’s waiting for you upstairs."
"Thanks," Lyle responded on his way toward the stairs.
"Mr. Lyle… a moment?" Margaret requested hesitantly. Lyle stopped mid-stride and came quickly back to her.
"Of course," he replied obediently. She was never one to shrink away from a difficult topic, so looking him in the eye, she said,
"I will never forgive you for killing my son. I loved him very much and you ended his life before I ever saw him." Lyle stood frozen for a time, trying to find the words. Nothing came to him. He hadn’t realized she would confront him so plainly about what happened.
"I’m sorry." He must have sounded like a child, who had broken a priceless family heirloom.
"Your apology, I don’t care about. I care about my little girl, soon to be a big girl. I also am concerned with you and my first-born who still has hatred in his eyes," Margaret again surprised him with her bluntness.
"Both of you have a right to that hate. As for your daughter, I swear to you…"
"Not to me, to her and him," she corrected.
"I won’t allow anything to harm Emily," Lyle vowed to her. The elderly woman searched in his eyes for several seconds.
"Thank you." She smiled faintly and turned to pick up her night bag. He didn’t know what she had seen, but was grateful for her approval. The comfort from this, however, left him wondering over his own motives.
"No, thank you," Lyle managed to say before Margaret reached the front door.
--------------
Sitting alone with the moonlight mere wisps about the room, Emily heard the front door open. He was here. The man who was soon to be a father, the one who was a lover, a killer, and a very frightened little boy inside. She hadn’t done much since Jarod left but think about the next few minutes. She didn’t blame Jarod’s outrage or her mother’s more subtle disapproval. They were within their rights. Still she desired this happy ending with Lyle. Emily scolded herself for the indulgence. Honestly, hadn’t life taught her not to trust… to look out for family? She didn’t love him after all.
Oh, Lyle was infatuated with her and the idea of her having his children. Emily didn’t question his obsessive love. She questioned her own emotions. What did she feel deep in her core? It was then that she decided she wasn’t in love. No, love wasn’t the word. She had been impressed by the man she discovered, when she had gone searching for a demon. Emily had been struck by his strength and empathized with his pain, even that could had been caused by her undercover persona. Once released from the shackles of Emma, she had surely just been surprised by his intensity and kindness. When a man as complex, distant, and normally cold as Lyle serves you his heart and soul on a silver platter, refusing the offering can result in a violent shattering of the fragile gift and utter destruction of future ventures. Lyle might have been scarred so traumatically that he would have never opened up. Besides, it seemed the more candid with her he became, the less cruel and angry he was. She had comforted herself in the knowledge that she was taming the fires of his rage.
Now, everything was all eschew. Emily had no doubt Jarod was headed over to Parker’s, the very woman he used to run from and Lyle, the killer of her brother, was downstairs having a conversation with her mother. The world is upside down where enemies are friends. She could feel the changes coming under her skin. Yes, changes were going to be made and it was her choice alone. As the stairs creaked of his entry, Emily finally decided to do what she hadn’t wanted to, what she needed to, if she was going to protect those she cared about.
"Hi," he greeted her coming through her door. She was wearing loose cargo jeans, and a man’s dress shirt with her hair falling in locks about her face. Emily was motionless at first trapped with her mind.
"Lyle. Is my mother gone yet?" Emily finally acknowledged his presence while he removed his coat, setting it on the end of the bed.
"Yeah, I think she just left." Lyle slid over to her and, with a gentle pull on her hands, helped her stand.
"Good." Emily felt like being sick. She didn’t know how to tell him, but she had to end this. Jarod was too important and maybe he was right. She was certainly too close to see clearly.
"Aishiteru," he whispered romantically in her ear.
"I see you studied up, since we were together," she remarked lightly.
"That’s not the proper reply." Lyle gazed devilishly at her, running a hand through her silk hair.
"What do you want me to say?" She was staling. Why was she staling? Emily wasn’t afraid of him, besides she was her mother’s daughter.
"Translate it," he urged.
"Lyle…" she began to protest, then caught his eye, " ‘I love you.’" The contentment in his features was nearly comical.
"We can make this work."
"No, Lyle, we can’t," she declared, walking away from his embrace so not to have to look at him.
"Emily, I want to be with you and my children." He followed and reached for her arm.
"It’s impossible," she hissed and pulled away in frustration. Emily wasn’t angry with him, of course, she just didn’t have anyone else to take it out on.
"No if we…" he started, upset as well.
"Lyle… Lyle, I… we have to leave the area soon." There she said it. The truth in this statement was small, but Jarod and her mother would understand, if she wanted to move.
"Where?"
"I can’t tell you," she whispered. The words hit Lyle like a bullet. The fear was crippling to him.
"Why?" He begged for logic, reason, anything that he could argue with.
"I can’t do this anymore. I’m going to have two little babies soon. It’s too dangerous." Emily tried to explain in such a way, that he wouldn’t think it was this love she was convinced she didn’t feel.
"Not with Parker and me heading the search," he assured her.
"Eventually the Triumvirate will get tired of waiting and they’ll fire you. At the Centre, they don’t call it termination for nothing." Lyle heard her fear, fear for the children, fear for him, but no fear for herself.
"I would rather die than leave you." He was being possessive again, but part of her wanted to be possessed. He was a constant, something in her life that didn’t move and wasn’t going to abandon or forget her.
"What about the twins? What about Jarod?" she attempted to remain strong.
"You would give up everything for family…" Lyle marveled and began to understand what she was really doing.
"I fight for them. This is what’s needed.." Emily’s voice was lost and sad, yet loyal and obedient.
"But not all you want or deserve…" He came toward her, angry at the injustice.
"I want a normal life!" she screamed in his face and walked over to stand in front of the window.
"And I can’t give it to you." Now, Lyle was lost.
"No, you can’t." Her voice was quiet and defeated.
"So round and round we go…" Lyle sighed painfully.
"And where it stops, nobody knows," she whispered looking over at him, loss in her eyes.
"You’re wrong. It stops here. It stops right here." Lyle pulled her against him and kissed Emily with all the urgency of his words. She pushed back and stared but only a moment. Emily took sides of his face in her hands and pressed a heated kiss into his lips.
Somewhere a song played.
("Do I Have To Say The Words?" by Bryan Adams)
"Rescue me from the mire
Whisper words of desire
Rescue me - darling rescue me
With your arms open wide
Want you here by my side
Come to me - darling rescue me
When this world's closing in
There's no need to pretend
Set me free - darling rescue me
I don't wanna let you go
So I'm standing in your way
I never needed anyone like I'm needin' you today
Do I have to say the words?
Do I have to tell the truth?
Do I have to shout it out?
Do I have to say a prayer?
Must I prove to you how good we are together?
Do I have to say the words…"
-----------------
Jarod was cruising down a dusty road for the millionth time in the last few years, but everything in his life had once again changed. His eyes were trained on the endlessness of the highway, but his mind was lost elsewhere. Lyle? What was it about the man that made him act so crazy? It wasn’t like Miss Parker or Sydney had done much less to him. In fact, when one thought about it, Lyle temporarily stopped his heart, kidnapped him, and killed his brother. That was it. The total sum of hatred in Jarod was over these three major events. The other murders that Lyle had committed and what he had done to Miss Parker were important, however, they simply added to his fury.
Since these atrocities had been committed, Lyle had romanced his sister. This had understandably annoyed Jarod. Now, Lyle was trying to…. well, what the hell was he trying to do!? He had been civil with Jarod, even pleasant. He had helped them hid from the Centre and seemed to care about this… these children Emily was having. He loved Emily. So could that make up for all the hurt he had caused?
No. Not in Jarod’s opinion, it couldn’t. Then the more he thought about it, he became concerned that some small part of this, the most angry, violent part, was jealousy. Was he jealous because (just as when he found his brother) now that he had found his sister, Lyle was trying to take her from him? She was in love with Lyle; he knew that, even if she didn’t. But she loved Jarod too. He was deathly afraid that Lyle would take his family from him, again. Jarod couldn’t breathe when he imagined living without them.
That’s why he needed to leave. He didn’t want to lose Emily and standing there arguing wasn’t going to help anything. Jarod had to go to someone who understood, who knew the same confusion, and had the same view of this strange relationship… someone who could tell him what to do.
---------------
About the time Lyle arrived at Emily’s, Miss Parker was relaxing in her livingroom. She was contemplating how fast things were changing for Lyle, she hoped he could handle this. Then gradually as most of her thought had drifted lately, she began imagining Jarod. Two sides of the same coin or, as he once let roll off his tongue, two pieces of the same puzzle, Jarod and her were definitely and irreconcilably together for life. Parker wasn’t sure she minded that. He had saved her in so many ways and she just didn’t have hate in her heart for him, but she had her pride to think about, right? She was stronger than Lyle. He was ready to change who he was for Emily. Since when was Lyle noble?
The phone next to her rang, causing Parker to fall back to reality.
"What?" she answered lazily.
"Open your back door," were the simple words spoken before the dial tone sounded.
"WH…?" Miss Parker stayed on her couch, staring at the phone for what seemed like a long time; then finally she pushed herself off the cushions and straightened her black suit. After walking through the darkened kitchen, she pulled the shade up on the back door. There he stood, staring at her with pleading eyes. His hands idle at his sides, his emotion indiscernible, and his stance straight. At least he had been polite enough not to break in this time. She sighed and unlocked the latch. Hesitating to check his expression again, she opened the door.
"Jarod?" She responded to his entrance.
"Miss Parker, how has your evening been?" He tried to sound nonchalant as he looked around the kitchen and back at her.
"Quiet," she shut the door behind him and locked it, "What are you doing here?" she asked, after all he was violating the rules, wasn’t he? She had her gun, but suddenly she realized he didn’t appear the least concerned with the Centre.
"Lyle’s probably with her by now. Emily called and he said he would come, so I left." His explanation was reasonable to her.
"Where are they?" Parker inquired.
"Five hours away."
"You drove five hours to get here? What’s wrong?" Parker was surprised although she blushed when she recognized how much flattery hid in that journey.
"You haven’t heard then?" he asked casually.
"Heard what?" Parker followed him as he explored the hall moving toward her livingroom.
"Emily’s having twins." He collapsed down into the couch.
"Twins!" Her expression was a little of everything including exhaustion and annoyance.
"Don’t look at me, they don’t run in my family… at least not to my knowledge," Jarod defended.
"It’s just…. He didn’t say…"
"Now, try imagine they’re coming over right now," he added.
"Want a drink?" Parker asked, still somewhat in shock. An amused smirk played on Jarod’s lips and he nodded.
"For once, very much." Miss Parker couldn’t resist a response like that particularly coming from Jarod.
"Thank you. To one relationship, I don’t comprehend," he toasted. After clinking glasses, Parker watched him throw the wine down his throat and waited for the inexperienced reaction, but to her disappointment it never came. Jarod knew how alcohol burns and he prepared for it mentally before she finished pouring.
"Oh, who the hell knows why they love each other. Love’s an enigma." Parker sighed.
"It’s just they have so much conspiracy and past and pain swirling around them, but do they care? Not a bit. They only see each other and nothing else," Jarod complained openly.
"Well, you know in Shakespeare’s plays, he never gave a reason for love." She set her glass on the coffee table and came to rest next to him on the cushions.
"Except the stars," he observed and placed his glass along side hers.
"Yeah." They both leaned back and caught each other’s gaze. Romeo and Juliet, forbidden love and passion, Lyle and Emily? Maybe not, however perhaps…
"Do you remember me telling you ‘Love can change people?’" Jarod asked.
"Yes." Miss Parker remembered nearly everything he said to her.
"Was I right?" he pleaded for an easy answer with his abyss-like eyes.
"I don’t know." She placed her hand in his and gently squeezed. The reaction she got was a mix of surprise and wonder.
"What?" she asked, but not in the rude, demanding tone she normally formed the word. Her voice was soft, intimate yet unsure maybe even nervous. His brown eyes grew soft, but intense as he leaned closer to her. She thought about backing away when his lips grazed hers, but the moment they had shared in his cell all those months ago left a hunger in her, a desire.
(song continues)
"Rescue me from despair
Tell me you will be there
Help me please - darlin' rescue me
Every dream that we share
Every cross that we bear
Come to me - darlin' rescue me
I don't wanna let you go
So I'm standing in your way
I never needed anyone like I'm needin' you today
Do I have to say the words?
Do I have to tell the truth?
Do I have to shout it out?
Do I have to say a prayer?
Must I prove to you how good we are together?
Do I have to say the words?"
The End
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