Total Recall by KB
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Chapter or Story 
Chapter or Story
Interlude
Jarod blinked several times in the bright light, trying to look past it into the thick blackness that was obvious beyond the bright beam. He could hear a loud and regular booming that filled his ears and was, in some strange way, comforting to him. Pain coursed through him at intervals and he felt as if he had been drained of energy. Making an effort, he stood and looked around, hesitantly going first in one direction and then moving back and stepping in another. Eventually giving up, he sank back to his previous position and closed his eyes. A shadow moved over him and forced Jarod to look up. A man stood beside him, a person that he knew he had never seen before but from whom emanated a sense of comfort. As he spoke, the booming faded into the background.
"How are you feeling?"
Jarod shook his head and pulled himself up into a sitting position, his voice a hoarse whisper. "I can't go on."
"You've reached the right place."
"You mean...this is..."
"This is the place where the future is decided on. You can go on fighting or you can give up."
Jarod closed his eyes to stop the tears of exhaustion and pain slipping down his cheeks. "I can't take it any more. It's too hard." He could feel sympathy from the figure that now knelt beside him.
"Jarod, the rest is now up to you."
"I don't understand."
"You have to make a decision."
"About what?"
Suddenly the blackness on one side vanished, to be replaced by an image of a room containing a bed. A woman slept in a chair beside it, her hand wrapped in the hand of the person lying down. Her red hair cascaded down her back and she looked tired. An older man sat in a chair at the other side of the bed as a small boy played in the corner.
"Jennifer...and Sydney?"
"And yourself, Jarod."
Suddenly the pain made sense and he found himself looking at the figure on the bed with perfect understanding. The weariness came back and Jarod realized how easy it would be to give up and simply stay where he was. As if he could read his thoughts, the other man looked over at him.
"Are you going to keep fighting, Jarod?"
"It's so hard..."
"Are you?"
"I don't know if I can..."
"It's not easy, I agree. But sometimes you find things in life that aren't."
Jarod stood up and turned to face the man. "But why are you here?"
"To help you decide."
"And how can you do that?"
A picture appeared on another wall as the first faded. The frozen image showed a small room with a woman whose hair now showed strands of gray. An older version of the boy sat at a desk, writing, and the woman played with a baby as it sat in her lap.
"What's this?"
"This could happen if you give up."
"I don't understand."
The man turned and faced the pretender. "You're to make the choice about the fate of the people who mean so much to you. This is the first possibility."
"Wait." Jarod held out a protesting hand. "I have to decide?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because you're the one deciding whether to live or not. To balance that, you must also decide what is to happen to those you leave behind."
Jarod looked again at the picture and then back at the man who stood patiently beside him. "But I don't know anything about what's going on."
"Then we'll find out."
The two men walked forward and Jarod gasped in surprise as the scene in front of him came suddenly to life. Music from a small radio could be heard in the corner and Jennifer hummed softly as she rocked the baby in her arms. Jarod walked over and knelt in front of her.
"Jenn? Jennifer?"
The woman didn't respond and Jarod was about to put a hand on her shoulder when his companion spoke.
"She can't hear you, Jarod. Nor can she see you. You can't contact her. All you can do is watch and listen."
"So they don't know...I'm here?"
"You aren't here, Jarod. Neither am I."
"What?"
"This scene will only exist if you want it to."
Jarod watched as Jennifer picked up the baby and carried it through into another room, placing it into a small cradle. Jarod looked around the room in disgust.
"Why would she live here?"
"She doesn't have a choice. After you died, she broke off all contact with anyone from the Centre and fled. This is the best she can afford on a small salary."
"But surely she could get a job...?"
"The last time she tried, the Centre found her. She only escaped with minutes to spare." The man paused. "You know how that feels."
Before Jarod could reply, Jennifer came out of the other room and went into the small kitchenette.
"Momma?"
"Yes, my baby?"
"Can we go outside and play?"
"After Baby wakes up. Then we'll go to the park."
The boy’s dark eyes lit up in delight. "Really?"
"Really."
There was a pause, during which Jarod looked more closely around the room. It was broken when Jennifer spoke again
"What are you writing, Kyle?"
"A letter."
"To whom?"
"Daddy."
Jarod watched as Jennifer turned back to the sink and looked out of the window. Tears formed in her eyes and her lip trembled slightly before she steadied it and began to get some vegetables out of the fridge.
"Kyle remembers me?"
"Oh yes," the other man assured him. "And he misses you terribly. He cried for you every night for the first weeks after you died. And Jennifer can't even go and see where you're buried, because Sydney took your body and she doesn't know where it is."
"Sydney did?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"He felt that he had to. Also Miss Parker forced him to."
There was a pause, during which Jennifer continued to prepare dinner and Kyle kept writing.
"What's going to happen now? I mean, why are we here?"
"You have to decide."
"Between this and what else?"
"There are other options. But first you have to see the whole of this one."
Jarod was about to continue when he heard Jennifer gasp. She spun around and pulled Kyle up from the table, carrying him in her arms. As she was about to go into the bedroom, the door to the apartment slammed back against the wall. A barrage of bullets entered the apartment, smashing glass and creating holes in walls. Jarod ran forward as Jennifer slumped to the floor, blood pouring from holes in her body, but his hands went straight through her and he could do nothing as Mr Parker walked in through the doorway and looked down at the two lifeless bodies on the floor. Then he walked into the other room and emerged with a screaming child in his arms.
"Get a cleaner team in here."
"Yes sir."
The man looked at the child he held. "So, finally we have our future Pretender."
"Noooo!"
Jarod's agonized scream broke out and echoed, as the scene was suddenly as still as if it were a photograph. He turned to the other man, a look of anguish and terror on his face. "I don't care what other options there are," he whispered. "None of them can be as bad as this one!"
"That remains to be seen, Jarod."
"What do you mean?"
"Life is never easy."
Jarod looked around at the destroyed room, his finally eyes coming to rest on the two figures at his feet, and sank slowly to his knees. His voice, when he finally spoke, was a soft and tortured whisper. "It couldn't be any worse than this."
"It depends what you consider to be bad."
"Do I have to...?"
"Shall we see the other options?"
"Yes." Jarod finally dragged his eyes away from the scene of devastation and got to his feet as the picture slowly backed away, leaving the two men standing in the black space.
"Look at this."
Jarod turned around and looked at another black wall, on which a picture began to develop until another scene was presented to them. The two stepped forward, the scene coming alive as before, but now the place was different. A darkened room was where they found themselves, with a figure lying in a bed. As they watched, a boy of about seven ran into the room and gently shook the figure into wakefulness. Had it not been for the red hair, Jarod would never have recognized Jennifer as the woman who gradually pulled herself up in bed.
"Sydney's here, Momma. And Miss Parker, and Broots."
"That's good, sweetie. Do you want to go and play while I talk to Sydney?"
The little boy nodded and skipped out of the room while Jennifer pulled open the blinds to reveal a bright blue sky. She reached over and pulled on a bathrobe before pulling a brush through her hair several times. But it was the lack of emotion in her face that scared Jarod most.
"What's wrong with her?"
"She lost the baby that she was carrying after you died. She fell down a flight of stairs and the child died before they could deliver it."
"But she...wouldn't still be upset over that - would she?"
Jarod was interrupted as the door opened to show a familiar figure. Sydney sat on a chair in the corner and looked at Jennifer.
"How are you feeling?"
"The same. Sometimes I wonder if there's actually a purpose to getting up in the morning." The voice was as expressionless as the face and Jarod shuddered as he looked at her.
"But you manage?"
"Some days. Others it's easier just to stay here."
"You know that Jarod would hate to see you like this." Jarod nodded in total and silent concurrence with his former mentor's statement.
"He won't get that chance." Tears glittered in her eyes and Jarod looked over at the stranger.
"She's still thinking about me?"
"It's sent her into a deep depression. It's been several years now and she's still badly affected by the fact that you gave up. If it weren't for Sydney, Broots and Miss Parker, I don't know how she'd cope."
"But...the Centre?"
"They all worked together to destroy it after you died, but once that was over, this is what happened to Jennifer."
Sydney's calm voice interrupted their discussion. "If you wanted to come to the Centre, there are plenty of things you could do."
"You don't need me. Broots can do anything I can, and better."
"You know that's not strictly true."
Sydney looked at the woman as she turned away. He gently placed one hand on hers and she glanced at him
"You know what I still can't understand."
"What?"
"Why Jarod gave up. I mean, one day it seemed like he might make it, and the next he..." She paused. "I just wish I knew why he did it."
"Maybe he felt like he had to. He probably thought you would be able to manage without him."
"Well, he was wrong." Jennifer's mouth twisted and tears started to roll down her cheeks as Sydney watched. Suddenly, as if what she was doing wasn't allowed, Jennifer covered her mouth with her hands. "I'm sorry."
"Why? It's been two years and this is the first time you've cried. Things always get better once you let the emotion out." Sydney sat on the edge of the bed. He gently took her face in his hands and forced it up to look at him. The tears poured over his fingers and dripped onto the bed. He looked her into her eyes for a long moment until she made a sound that was almost a howl to Jarod and collapsed into the waiting arms of the psychiatrist.
The Pretender looked from the weeping woman to the man who stood beside him with a look of deep sorrow on his face and tears glistening in his eyes. "Please tell me things get better now."
"You can't get over feelings like this in one day. But, yes, things do improve to a certain extent."
Jarod caught the hesitation. "Why, what happens?"
The man looked at him. "I told you that life isn't fair. Kyle will be killed in a plane crash in several years time, leaving Jennifer completely alone. After that…" he trailed off and shrugged.
Jarod's eyes widened in terror. "And that will happen anyway, won't it?"
"Every place his its own future, Jarod. Just because it happens in one time and place doesn't mean it will happen in others. But then it might. It's not for me to say."
"Is that the end?"
"For now. There's no more of this scene for you to see."
"How many choices do I have again?"
"Three. This is the last."
Jarod watched over his shoulder as the figures froze into stillness and he passed from the picture into the single spotlight once more. The new image was already waiting for them on the third wall. This time, however, it was very different. The figure of a woman stood at a sink, washing dishes, as the kitchen gradually grew lighter with the rising sun. The long, red hair was intermingled with gray and hung down her back in a thick plait. She hummed along to the music on the radio as she scrubbed at the last pot and, after rinsing, put it gently and almost silently onto the sink. A smart suit hugged her slim figure and an apron prevented her from splashing the clothes. As she completed the washing-up, the clock in the kitchen clicked over to seven and, in another part of the house, an alarm could be heard. Jennifer calmly hung up the dishtowel and took off the apron, carefully hanging it up before walking over to a cupboard. She got out a bowl and large container of cereal, both of which she placed on the table. From the fridge she got out a glass of juice and a spoon from a nearby drawer. Finally she poured boiling water into a waiting mug and then sat at the table, reading the paper for a moment. Jarod watched as, with perfect timing, she lifted her head and a male voice called from the depths of the house.
"Debbie Broots, you get yourself out of bed this instant!"
Jarod turned to the other man with a look of astonishment. "Broots and Debbie live here - with Jennifer?"
"Oh, yes."
"And our children?"
The man pointed slowly at a small, framed newspaper article that hung on the wall, almost out of sight. There, Jarod read about a car accident that had killed two children and injured the other two occupants of the car. He didn't need to be told who the two children were.
"When?"
"Six years after you died. It was a terrible time." The man's face showed his sorrow as he looked from the black and white photos to the woman sitting at the kitchen table.
"But she's..." Jarod's voice trailed away as he looked up at the color photos on the opposite wall, the boy's face showing the clear eyes and strong features of his father and the girl's eyes gleaming with paternal intelligence and the kindness that had been inherited from her mother. Before he could say anything more, a girl burst through the doorway and pulled the chair out from under the table, sitting in it.
"Good morning, Debbie."
"Morning." The girl grinned as she began to eat the cereal and Jennifer, a smile on her face, continued to read the paper.
"Have you packed your bag?"
"Yup. It's all ready to go. Have you done my lunch?"
"In the refrigerator, as usual. Where's your father?"
As if in response, Broots rushed into the kitchen, still knotting his tie. He kissed Debbie on the top of her head and then picked up the mug from where it sat on the kitchen table. In two gulps he emptied it and then headed for the door.
"Broots!" The man turned in time to see Jennifer holding out a case. With two steps he grabbed it and was back at the doorway.
"See you later!" His voice could be heard even after his body was out of sight and within a few seconds a motor could be heard starting up.
"Ten minutes." Jennifer grinned at Debbie as she spoke and then got up and turned the kettle on to boil more water.
"Are we going to pick up Miss P.?"
"Don't we always? And I thought she didn't like you calling her that."
Debbie blushed and giggled.
"Make sure you're nice to her today. It's a sad day for her."
"And for you, too."
Jarod watched as Jennifer struggled for a moment to keep her composure before she spoke. "Yes, but she's always found it more difficult to deal with than I have."
Jarod turned to his companion. "Why? What's today?"
"An anniversary." He pointed at the calendar on the wall that showed the days crossed off and the date told him everything he needed to know. May 8. Jarod turned to the stranger with one question.
"But what does that have to do with Jennifer?"
"It's not just the anniversary of Thomas' death, Jarod. It's yours as well. Ten years ago today. And, tragically, that of your children too."
Jarod looked from the calendar to the man and there was pure horror written all over his face.
"But...why...?" The whisper was more tortured than the one during the earlier scene had been.
"There's no answer to that question, Jarod. There's no reason why. Things just happen."
"H...how does she cope?"
"Remarkably well. But she does keep busy."
The two men watched as Jennifer filled a mug with the hot water, adding a large dash of milk and a spoonful of coffee, and then headed up to the other end of the house. The two men followed her but, before they even reached the room, a grumbling but still familiar voice could be through from an open doorway.
"Where's my coffee?"
"Good morning to you, too, Sydney." Jennifer's voice was cheerful and, as the two men entered the room, they saw the answering smile that it grudgingly brought to the face of the man in the bed.
"I thought you might have left already."
"Then it wouldn't have done much good, yelling for your coffee, would it? You'd have had to get up and get it yourself." She smiled and Jarod saw the lines that had formed around her eyes.
"Get up? I don't know that I'll ever be able to do that again."
"Old bear!" She teased him laughingly as she picked up a couple of pillows from the floor. "You could be in trouble if you didn't. What would you do all day in bed, until we got home?" She helped him to sit up and then gently pushed a few pillows in behind him. "Besides, one sip of that coffee and you'll be as active as you ever are." She picked up the mug and put it in his hand before turning to leave the room.
"Are you all right?" The voice startled Jarod, being so different from what it had been before. The woman about to exit the room paused at the doorway and stared at the wall in front her.
"I'll be better once today is over. The sooner I get to work, the better."
"Don't work too late."
"I can't. I have to pick Debbie up after school and then do some shopping. We'll probably be home about five."
She left the room and, after one final look over his shoulder at Sydney, Jarod followed, looking over at his companion. "Where to now?"
"Parker's house and then, after dropping Debbie at school, to the Centre." The two men got into the car as Debbie and Jennifer did.
"Why do they still work there?"
"Nobody other than Broots and Miss Parker have any idea you were ever associated with Jennifer, and Raines was insistent that she return."
"What about Sydney?"
"He's no longer able to work. They were compelled to allow him to retire and for time some they've had no idea where he is. Broots and Jennifer have never let that information become public knowledge and even Miss Parker isn't aware of it."
Jarod now focused his attention on the discussion that was taking place in the front seat.
"You know that Miss Parker is never in a great mood on this date..."
"…so I'm not to say anything that will upset her. I know. You tell me every time."
Jennifer smiled. "Just to make sure. We wouldn't want her to get angry with you, would we? Now, into the back seat, young lady."
Pulling over to the curb, Jennifer stopped the car. Debbie jumped out, climbing into the back seat. Seconds later, a figure stepped out of the front door of the house and walked over to the car. Jarod drew in his breath sharply to see how the years had affected the woman for, while she maintained the tall and slender figure she had always had, her face was creased with lines and her hair, like Jennifer's, had streaks of gray. There was silence during the car trip that even Jarod, despite knowing that they wouldn't hear him, didn't feel he could break. Finally, as they stopped to let Debbie out of the car at school, he turned to his still-unnamed companion.
"Why has Sydney stopped working at the Centre?"
"He's unable to put up with the constant traveling required."
"Why? What happened?"
"A car accident."
Jarod silently absorbed that fact for a moment, his face sober. When he turned back, tears glistened in his eyes. "Sydney was driving the car when my children died."
"And he's never forgiven himself for an accident that wasn't his fault and was unavoidable."
"The Centre...?"
"No, not the Centre. Raines would never have ordered such a thing to be done to Jennifer and nobody else has the power to override his orders. This was a simple accident, but it's the reason Sydney can no longer work. He received serious internal injuries and, for some time, was in danger of losing his life."
Jarod watched as Jennifer and Miss Parker got out of the car and walked up the stairs and into the familiar building.
"Is that all?"
"You know everything."
"But I don't! I mean I have to decide..."
"You've seen more of this option than any other."
Jarod turned and faced the other man. "Please. Just a little longer."
"Why would you want to? This time is full of painful memories."
"Please...I...need to see..."
The man sighed, and then smiled. "All right. A little longer."
As they walked down the hallway of the Centre, Jarod couldn't help shuddering slightly and the man looked over at him.
"This was what I was trying to avoid."
"It's okay. I'll be all right."
They entered Jennifer's office in time to see her turn on her computer and sit in her chair with a sigh. She glanced over at the air vent cover in her room and then sadly shook her head and focused on her work.
"Angelo?"
"He's gone, Jarod. He died a few years ago, after another experiment to try and enhance his abilities. He died in Jennifer's arms and she finds it very hard to forgive herself."
"Like Catherine?"
"Very similar, yes. In fact, Jennifer's had a great deal to do with removing children from the Centre completely. She thought for a while she'd succeeded. Recently, though, she's found others that she's trying to release."
Jarod was about to comment when a groan from the chair made him look over and he watched as Jennifer placed her hands on the back of her neck and began to rub gently, working slowly up to her head. As she did so, she swept some of the hair aside to reveal several large scars on the back of her neck that ran down below her shirt.
Jarod looked over at the stranger.
"What...?"
"She received those four years ago."
"She was in the car."
"Yes. It left her with severe neck and back injuries and she required surgery to recover properly. She still has pain from them."
Jarod stared in horror, unable to speak. Then he turned back to look at her and the tears that he had managed not to shed before now started to spill down his cheeks. His companion placed a hand on his shoulder.
"There's no more time. You have to decide now."
At his words, the scene froze and began to recede. Looking around, Jarod found himself faced with scenes from each of the possibilities he had witnessed. The expression on his face as he looked at the stranger showed his understanding at the magnitude of his choice but also the difficulty he was having in making it.
"I can't do it. Not any of these - they aren't fair!"
"Life isn't fair, Jarod. But it's your decision and you have to make it. Between these three and - "
"And? And what?" Jarod eagerly embraced the other option, forgetting momentarily what it was and how much effort was required by him to fulfill it.
"You could go on, Jarod. Continue to fight."
"It's hard..."
"I never said it was easy."
Jarod looked slowly from one scene, brilliantly lit before his eyes, to another and then finally back to the stranger.
"Why are you here? Who are you?"
"I'm a guide. I help people to make these types of decisions."
"But who are you - really? Why do I feel as though I know you?"
"Because I'm you. I'm the you that would have existed if you hadn't been kidnapped by the Centre."
"You mean...there...?"
"Different versions of your life exist and, depending what happens in those, you change. That means the 'you' who was a part of the scene that didn't occur fails to exist. So I've been here, waiting for you to come and make this decision."
"And depending on what I choose...?"
"Life itself will alter. The beings belonging to a version you don't select will be discarded. That's why I wasn't able to say whether the situation in one scene would occur in another. It all depends on what happens during that scene. And now you have to choose."
Jarod looked for one final time at the three scenes in front of him and then turned to the one behind, showing the first image he had seen of time as it was and not as it could be.
"If I do go on, will I remember this?"
The man, the other version of himself, smiled. "How can you possibly remember something that doesn't exist? If you do decide to continue fighting, this whole situation won't ever have happened."
"I'm not sure I understand. How can something not exist when it's existing now?"
"Time is fairly complicated. I'm not sure I could make you understand, at least not in the short time we have available."
"Why short?"
"Listen."
Jarod heard the regular beating become louder and also slower.
"If you don't hurry, the choice won't be yours to make. Quickly, Jarod."
The Pretender looked for one final time around the room and then at the original image.
"I can't...I can't do it to her. To them. I choose...this."
"You choose life. The best choice." The man smiled. "Now go and embrace life. It's yours for the taking."
Jarod glanced briefly at the other version of himself and then forwards. Slowly at first, and then faster, he stepped towards the picture and into the future.
