The proper reviews I promised.. I was on an emotional rollercoaster at the time and needed to consume art. I had no desire to write a review but you are so understanding. This second chapter pushes deeper into the pain Parker feels and the pain Jarod felt to have caused that pain. It's no excuse for rape but he had demons and we've seen them in him before just not this out of control. I'm not excusing him..just saying he's in pain too. Just yo know how close they were and lost each other. ..hurts. You describe it all beautifully. It must've been hared to write so thank you for doing it.
Reviewer: Angela Penn Signed
[Report This]Date: 18/05/23 05:55 pm
He keeps doing it. He could help it, stop himself but he's making Parker feel like the bad person for caring about her daughter, for not attending mass, for not trusting him. He did this and keeps trying to fix it because he's not just a rapist he's a rapist with a god complex and savior complex. You capture that perfectly.
It's easy to hate Astra. It's easy to love Astra. Astra is like the ultimate die hard fangirly shipper. She wants Parker and Jarod to overcome adversity and be together no matter what, even if it kills them and it porobably will if that cycle isn't broken. They are her parents, her favorite poeple. She can't begin to understand the complications, the reasons they already weren't together or understand that if they had a reason not to be together already then they probably still have a reason not to be together and always will. You're unique in your depictions of children. Yours are realistic. Children are sometimes little assholes that drive us nuts. Some writers aren't honest about that.
Reviewer: Thara Nicole Signed
[Report This]Date: 31/03/23 02:32 am
Oh, Mirage, I love your strange turns and twists. You do the thing no one does and you probably piss loads of peeps off too lol but pay them no mind. You gotta be you.
"Oh, I know where I am, I just don't know who the hell is here with me," She hissed, caustic words underscored by a supercilious smile."
I feel it when I read it, feel it so hard.
These are the most Jarod things Jarod has said that Jarod has ever said:
"You don't hate me, Parker.
If you can't find your answers, it's not because they aren't here," Jarod explained. "It's because you're asking the wrong questions."
"Go back to the start, Parker," suggested Jarod lightly, "to when the hate began."
Jarod would try to help women through the crimes he himself committed against Parker instead of having the selfawareness to know he can't help. He can't help Parker. Of course we know that the person Parker hates is herself and Jarod contributed to that. WE see her self hate in the series so this all ties it all together.
Reviewer: Thara Nicole Signed
[Report This]Date: 31/03/23 01:59 am
I never did like Jarod's b&e bits. He really did terrorize her during the series and for a guy trying to be left alone to be free that was totally not a smart move. Like, hey Jarod, maybe stop waving a red flag at the bull, maybe stop telling them where you are, stop leaving breadcrumbs little Handsel if you really don't want to be found. WE never see how that bothers Parker on the series because she's got the facade and doesn't let it show but it must be nervewrecking even on the series.
Jarod doesn't want Parker to drink or be drunk knowing how he hurt her and how hard it is to cope with that pain he caused but he wants to be drunk himself to confess to Ethan. Jarod always has been a hypocrite even on the series telling Kyle not to take revenge when what Jarod does every episode is revenge. He could give the evidence to cops without making the perps cry and plead and fear for their lives. That's revenge. Jarod has always a hypocrite.
Reviewer: Thara Nicole Signed [Report This]Date: 31/03/23 01:47 am
Dorothy Parker! I love her, too. Always wondered if Parker's "aunt Dorothy" was that Dorothy.
Oh, that's heart crushing the way she confessed that she loved him. Time doesn't heal. I love the honesty. What you've written is dark and hard but it's not a lie. It's life. It's true. I admire that. You were brave for writing something like this. Jarod's like at God status in the fandom. A lot of rapists are. OHhh. I see what you did there now. Well done.
Reviewer: Thara Nicole Signed [Report This]Date: 31/03/23 01:40 am
I'm just going to say that I love that Parker is the fire in this chapter titled Playing With Fire. Gun fire. I'm glad she was able to retain her dignity. I already know how this ends and how realistic and plausible it is. I see others reviewing each chapter with their thoughts and I hope it's ok that I do the same. I have thoughts. I love Parker with Nicholas. It's also semiincestuous as Sydney is like her real Dad.
Reviewer: Thara Nicole Signed [Report This]Date: 31/03/23 01:36 am
Thank you for the continuity with Ethan. It's good to know that he's got himself sorted. Parker's denial in this is so accurate to her character. She was like this during the entire four seasons and 2 movies with her dad or dads. Crazy show inn't? She helped Jarod escape and that makes sense. A place like the Centre having mold is unthinkable. They would have searched his room. Todd just happening to show up on a road that close to the Centre and if the waters were patroled the road should have been as well. This is my canon now. Parker faciliated the escape. I just wanted you to know.
Reviewer: Thara Nicole Signed [Report This]Date: 31/03/23 01:33 am
Rapes her and is now demanding to be a part of the child's life. See, and there are legislators who want to make rape victims stay pregnant and then raise the rape baby with the rapist! That's why these stories are important. And it's important to amplify victims' voices too. Some women would rather die than stay pregnant with a rapist's spawn and I'M one of them. Thank you for writing what must have been daunting and difficult.
Reviewer: Thara Nicole Signed [Report This]Date: 14/03/23 02:29 am
Was just having a conversation about domestic violence weeks ago and it goes down like this all of the time. People would be shocked if they knew.
Her voice telling her it's adultery... after she already said no to him. That's what happens. It's so insidious this kind of abuse the way it turns victims against themselves. You really highlight it all here. I don't know why your muse said all of this but I'm thankful it did.
Reviewer: Thara Nicole Signed [Report This]Date: 14/03/23 02:25 am
A couple of things I will mention is how oblivious Zoe and everyone else is about what Jarod really is. That's the thing about Jarod, right? And it's the thing about literally all rapists. Only the victims will ever know the truth.
So yes on one hand rapey dark Jarod is my favorite as far as what I read. On the other hand too is that you go deeper and .. it really resonates. I don't really like rapists of course just that dark Jarod is more believable for me and that maybe he would even do all of that good to better hide his crimes.
He's set up to be the perfect bad guy. Plus he's gorgeous, right? No one would suspect. You have done what I always knew could happen and wanted to see written all the way out. I have Forces of Nature open in another tab, too. I'm doing a whole analysis thing here. No one really shows the long term trauma like this. It's brilliant.
Reviewer: Thara Nicole Signed [Report This]Date: 14/03/23 02:19 am
SO this first chapter was so...calm and it makes what comes after all the more so horrific. Such a contrast. I love this story. You are the Queen of Darkness.
Reviewer: Thara Nicole Signed [Report This]Date: 14/03/23 02:12 am
This is still as terrifying as I remember it being. Something about darkJarod always brings me back and there are no "Raine's forced drug experimentation" for Jarod to blame it all on.
This story needed to be written because people don't expect certain people to commit this crime. They don't expect the millionaire, the hollywood movie star, the former guy who actually bragged about because orange koolaid melts the brain. The don't exect the football star, the coach of the soccer team, the pastor, the priest, or even the sweet boy next door who was always helpful and who "never raped me."
You don't glorify it either. And most importantly, you don't have Parker begging him to come back. She wants nothing to do with him. She has to let him back in her life because of the forced spawn. You show how every domestic abuse situation spirals from there on. I've seen it happen. I recently witnessed something exactly like what you've written here. I work in a police department. This is why abortion needs to be legal, accessible, and free... everywhere and not just in Israel.
This can happen to someone even as strong as Parker pretends to be (we know she really isn't that strong).
People like sweet Jarod can do things like this to others.
It happens every day. I think you're raising awareness. I don't know if that was your intention. But it's a chilling story and it's plausible, and I think everyone should read it.
Thank you for writing this and writing it well.
Reviewer: Miss Parkere Signed [Report This]Date: 24/05/22 06:00 pm
This is a scary but plausible tale and that could be a part of the series and I wish you would add the fan art you are making now in all of these scenes.Or make video that matches the scenes! I know you can do it.. if you can photoshop Jarod in a shipping crate!! Please? Merci.
Reviewer: Garbiella Signed [Report This]Date: 19/05/22 10:39 pm
There is it again that she tries to come on to him to induce him to have rough sex with her. It's all she wants from him and maybe on some level it's punishing herself for having feelings for him. Her father, the Centre, blaming herself for her mother's death,so many reasons for things to get complicated and mixed up in her mind.
I love Jarod's reaction to his daughter's first period. Typical father reaction there. Not my little girl not yet.
Later, again, Miss Parker offers Jarod anything. He could do anything, even touch her belly. She just can't stop making it all about sex and she can't handle his tenderness or maybe thinks she doesn't deserve his tenderness. It's such an accurate portrayal.
You tie this brilliantly together and the circle goes unbroken to answer the old question. I think it would never break between. I think they can't leave it alone what they have, the competition they have, the power struggle, they can't stop it. On the series I got the impression they could argue, be nice, argue, play nice, point a gun at each other, play nice, glare at each other, play nice, play cat and mouse, but then play nice, keep the truth from each other, and then almost kiss each other and then go back to pointing guns and glaring again it never ends. They can't quit. They thrive on driving each other up the wall. You brilliantly demonstrated that. Thank you. It's been my pleasure to read and study and think so deeply about this tragedy piece.
Reviewer: Sammi Anonymous [Report This]Date: 14/01/22 03:12 am
Really sexy sexy sex smut scenes and although rough..and some people do like it rough, it was consensual even if dark at times. I have read stories written by others in books where the rapist was gentle and the reviewers liked that gentle rape more than consensual rough sex so that's interesting. In this story it's clear already that Parker doesn't want that tenderness from him again. You established that many chapters back without saying it in those words. It's there in the story. It's the tenderness that shatters her. She wants to disconnect from her own feelings and needs it rough and maybe even needs to resent him later for the roughness that she consented to but she did consent. She doesn't say no, she doesn't fight to stop him, she fights herself it seems is what you are saying in this.
She even says interneally it can only be this way.
"I don't want to do this," he said thickly, "not here (in church, for Christ's sake), not like this." He added softly. "Not this, please." He beseeched, observed as she drew a tremulous breath, glared at him, clawed at him, drew blood. "You bastard." She hissed.
Not this. As if there could be any other way. This is all there is!
That "not this. as if there could be any other way. This is all there is!" are HER internal thoughts isn't it?
This roughness is the only way she can be with Jarod is what she is saying.
Just gotta say that I know people with similar experiences who are exactly like her.
I can't stop studying this story. It's brilliant.
Reviewer: Sammi Anonymous [Report This]Date: 14/01/22 02:53 am
Again, it's Jarod's tenderness with her that shatters her. He's saying I love you I'm concerned her and showering her with this concern and sweetness and she sits hard on the stair and begins crying. The exhaustion, the way they try to best each other and control each other even while loving each other it can't sustain too long but never ends either. He's the man she loves. He's the man that raped her. She hates some parts and loves some parts and can't fix either part, can't stop loving him and can't stop hating because she should hate him just as much as she has reasons to love him. This is a masterpiece. I want to write my own papers on it for a class in uni and I would like to talk to you more about it. My emails to you aren't going through.
Reviewer: Sammi Anonymous [Report This]Date: 14/01/22 01:31 am
Oh oh oh. "(because he and Parker both would kill Alan for groping her and the pair felt the rigmarole of social nuance and grace was exhausting enough without the added hassle of hiding of body)."
I love that. I love Jarod and Miss Parker are still a team here despite all of the hell they are going through.
""Don't be silly", Jarod answered, and then fashioned a smile and shook the man's offered hand (and forced himself not to crush every bone in the aforesaid hand), "there's no way to hide a diamond that sparkles as brilliantly as my wife."
I just love it.
"She searched Parker's face, observed the mocking curve of her lips, as something downright insidious took shape in the Parker's eyes. "I- I was only joking, of course. Lord, honey! I hope you aren't angry at me or that you think- why he's a priest and I- I have to go." The woman stammered and then- - craven and pale- - toddled away, her gait faltering."
It's something like the thought of Jarod having an affair, possible jealously, at play here with Miss Parker. Most people would probably think that human emotion isn't possible after all that Jarod has done to her but she still loves him because she can't turn off love so she wouldn't turn off any doubt or tinglings of almost-jealousy either.
Jarod even feels unworthy of her emotion in that moment, again pointing to deep remorse on his part. "Her husband was supremely disinterested in the small talk, was looking directly at her, a faint melancholy smile tugging at his lips. He'd caught her, dead to rights. He knew precisely what she was thinking, and couldn't imagine why. "
He knew only one thing for certain: there was no accounting for the vagaries of the heart."
I love thee musical selections in all 0f this please tell me how you discovered Rosemary Clooney.
That last line...ooof. Breath gone out of me.
Reviewer: Sammi Anonymous
[Report This]Date: 14/01/22 01:16 am
Jarod has always been a real lunatic about family and that makes this even more plausible and we all know how much he likes being in control. The way you write, your words,just blow me away. I was so afraid to read this story but now I'm so glad I did.
Reviewer: Sammi Anonymous [Report This]Date: 14/01/22 12:58 am
St. Michael's ahh? Nice. Saint Michael. Michael. The actor. lol. Love it. They always did that on The Pretender too. Parker sleeping with Michael Partrick (that's Michael AND Patrick, actors). I love what you did there. This gem sparkles "He never doubted that Parker loved him- it had never been a question of love; love doesn't necessarily make one infallible, however, and even the best intentions could crumble in a single instant, after all, his certainly had."
I mean...oof. Your prose knocks the breath of me Mirage.
I'm glad Miss Parker had the abortion. I love that you push all of the boundaries and normalize talking about rape, sexual abuse, abortion. It's informative too. There are still people who think rape can't occur between a married couple and I'm like what, yes, it can. Abortion is just heatlhcare and it's no one's business but the person getting that healthcare. I'd love to have a larger conversation with you. My email reviews aren't going through at all. Another reader said the same that they aren't able to contact you and they were once able to. I thank you millions of times for not glossing over these topics but showing that rape has lasting bad effects.
Reviewer: Sammi Anonymous [Report This]Date: 14/01/22 12:44 am
You made me cry here.
"Parker had dropped her defenses, dropped them at Jarod's feet, and he had crushed them."
The thought that she would finally let the facade go and then he would shatter her that way.. it kills me. Why does this seem so real and plausible. Honestly gotta say this is probably a favorite story of mine and always will be because of the plausibility, characterisations, the realism, just that the story needed to be told.
Reviewer: Sammi Anonymous [Report This]Date: 14/01/22 12:16 am
Most first sexual experiences I read here and in books or other places online are always so perfect and not believable or relatable. Miss Parker was really a precocious girl and would think she knew everything like she still thinks she knows everything. She makes up her mind and it won't be changed. Like now she thinks Jarod doesn't love her. He did a terrible thing to her and she thinks that means he hates her. She would go into the first experience with sex believing she knew everything and that it would be perfect. She has no mum at this time to explain this to her and isn't allowed to read proper books because the catholic school doesn't allow that. I think back then she did really love him even if it was just childhood love and adoration. She seemed to think the world of him back then and would think he could do everything perfect. When everything that could go wrong went wrong in that first experience I was like yes this is more like it is. I think purity and virginity are myths and I also know that the first time I had sex it wasn't fun and I hated it. It was an older guy who knew what he was doing but there was still blood and pain and anyway I like girls now. This chapter totally resonated with me.
What blew my mind is how Jarod got lost in the past and transported and totally forgot where he was. It's more proof of his remorse I think. I still think so even after reading all of this three times.
Reviewer: Sammi Anonymous [Report This]Date: 14/01/22 12:04 am
"Jarod had officiated a livelier funerals " lol. I love that little tad of comedic relief at the right time. I also welcomed Broots' laughter at the moment, his disbelief and thinking Miss Parker was joking about marrying Jarod.
What I almost missed is that Astra had tugged on Miss Parker's wedding dress and Jarod didn't see that, but it's that tugging that brought Miss Parker back to reality and that made her say yes to marrying Jarod.
The thing I love about this story and I noticed in others and want to talk about is society's perspective on virginity. The church women here are busy bodies who care that Miss Parker was wearing white or almond white-like after already being married to another man and after having a child already and not being a virgin. Society is virgin obsessed and especially in churches and it's really a myth, a patriarchal, empirical construct focused only on keeping women and girls in line and never is used to constrict or shame men. Men get to be studs for having loads of sex but women are called slut for only having sex the 1 time.
Oh I nearly jumped out of my seat when Astra talked about the birth control pills.
For all of the unintended deceit and the pain they caused each other I gotta say when you write a tender scene between them it's all the more sweet. Jarod tucking Miss Parker into bed and that, the tenderness, being the thing that breaks her... it's the truest thing to her character. She didn't get much tenderness from her mum because Catherine was murdered. Mr. Parker didn't give her any tenderness or love. She married Robert who was also emotionally unavailable and cheap with care. She's so unused to affection, love, tenderness that those rare moments nearly shatter her, it's like she's tried to train herself not to like tenderness because she's had to live so long without it and like she's afraid of it, or maybe because it's so fleeting. I just never thought out so thoroughly a character like her and how her losses could affect her. You put so much time and care into this. I can tell. It shows. You really know what you're doing.
Reviewer: Sammi Anonymous [Report This]Date: 13/01/22 11:43 pm
I literally held my breath until I read the next chapter. Mirage you are evil.
Reviewer: Sammi Anonymous [Report This]Date: 13/01/22 11:15 pm
ahhhwww dear all of the gods and godesses... this this I didn't see this coming. You didn't either according to your chapter end notes. You seemed really beside yourself after posting that one. I'm glad you let the muse lead. These situations happen exactly like that, so unexpected. She was sure she'd never do that with Jarod and then did the thing she was sure she wouldn't do and she knew that she needed Nicholas there to prevent her from doing it.
She didn't even have to ask hmm and that says it all.
Reviewer: Sammi Anonymous [Report This]Date: 13/01/22 09:17 pm
I'm just over here nodding. That's another things humans will do and especially Miss Parker. Save face. She has to keep up the facade even if it kills her. She can't admit that he took control of her, that he hurt her, that she loved him, still loves him. Can't back away from the fight. It's just so like her to keep fighting a battle she can't win and that I think everyone would agree that she has already lost to Jarod. You said it someone else that he's been in control from the beginning anyway, leading her, making her curious, making her play fetch and she has two reasons for playing that game we saw on tv. One is she wants to win because Jarod is taunting her. The other is she wants to do anything to get some love from her father and the only way to do that is to please him by catching Jarod. I read so many of your review replies and you said so many times that Jarod knew all of this. He told Mr. Parker on that jet that she craved the little affection he gave her over the years. Jarod knows what he's doing is a genius and has predicted human nature and behaviors. He knows her. Your story here is more of what we already know about Jarod and a plausible eventual possible scenario if he gets too caught up in besting her and always being in control. He has a god complex already and that could get out of hand. There's so much more to say that I don't know how to say and I've emailed you too but they aren't going through. I love this story for it's accuracy. It is really terrifying gotta say.
Reviewer: Sammi Anonymous [Report This]Date: 13/01/22 09:11 pm
