Characters: All the characters
Classifications: Genres: Angst, General
Warnings: Warning: Violence
Series: None
Chapters: 17 Table of Contents
Completed:Yes
Word count: 55671
Read Count: 65870
Author: I write a little bit of everything really. Some angst, some comedy, some neither. Basically what I'm in the mood for. I haven't written all that much lately, but I do have a couple of stories planned...
Beta: I also do a bit of beta work and find it thoroughly enjoyable. So if you need a beta, just give me a poke and I'll see what I can do. (Strong points: characterization, plotting, rewording etc. Weaker points: grammar and other rule bound things. )
Reviewer: I try to review everything I read, because I really do believe communication is what makes this fandom not just shrivel up and die. Feedback is especially important in a fandom as small as ours. Not only is it important to encourage the authors, and one review really makes a lot of difference. As an extra boost for all you budding reviewers here, since it is such a small fandom you have a real chance of influencing the future plot of the story by making suggestions of what you'd like see happen (or if it's an already completed story: The writer's next story).
But it is a two way street. Like a reader has a responsibility to write a review, the author has a responsibility to reply.) If you don't, how is the reviewer supposed to know someone appreciate it, or even read it?
Reader: I will read (and enjoy) pretty much everything. From angst to comedy to all that is in between. I don't care who (or what, this is the Pretender after all...) you ship, if you're a fan of happy endings or not. If it's Pretender, I would probably love to read it, if I haven't already.
And no, I'm never brief .
All I can say is wow. I just read four chapters straight and you kept me on the edge of my seat(actually I think I was more hovering a meter over my seat for the most part) throughout the whole story. Every time you think it's going to work out, you read the next paragraph and everything is ten times worse than it was five minutes ago.Who lives and who dies? There's what I want to happen, and there is what makes the best story. I'll just leave that up to you.
Love your story and cannot wait for more.
Reviewer: Manoline SignedWow what an ending! You kept the suspense up right until the last paragraph. Very well executed.
I don't think I have ever read a story more focused on what is usually "fade to black" because it becomes to violent for the series, but you pull it off remarkably well. It isn't blood gushing everywhere that's the focus, it's the emotional trauma, which gives it many more layers than your average action fic.
Every once in a while it can be a little hard to follow what's actually happening, but I think that's mostly due to the fact that you don't rely on the classic clishe's when describing something. You use a much more vibrant and creative language, so you actually have to pay attention to every word, you can't just skim it. So it's really a good thing.
I think you did a great job describing what kind of pain, both emotional and physical, Lyle can inflict if he is truly given free range. And also how hard it is to recover from such deep trauma. You can't just go home and expect everything to be fine, there are consequences to abuse. You pictured that wonderfully both in Jarod and the clone.
Thank you for an amazing thrill ride down the path of psychological thrillers. An epic is complete.
- Sarah
Reviewer: Manoline SignedYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *inhales* AAAAAAAAAY NEW CHAPTER!
I remember reading the first three chapters oh-so-very long ago (actually think we're talking years...boy time passes quickly), loving every part of it, so rereading leading up to the new chapter was a real thrill. Exactly why I didn't review *gives self stern look* I don't know, but I should have.
I love the idea of Miss Parker as a 'bookworm'. Fits in flawlessly with her character (especially given the whole "gift from mom"-scenario).
I love Jarod in his various costumes, I can just see him. So very very Jarod, and so very very amusing. Can't wait to see what else he's got in store. I can't help to notice this is slightly more elaborate than the shows he usually put on. Is it all just for fun or is there perhaps a reason for that..? Hmmmm.
Well I can't wait to read more. I was chuckling loudly in my chair more than once, which is quite a task let me tell you.Nice little story. I like how you used so many famous quotes from the series as "Jarod's thoughts" and the lyrics fit really well
Author's Response: Thank you, I just wish I had fitting screencaps or even a video to better illustrate this with. After all, the series was nice and visual :)
Wow, very surprising ending. You're really good with finding lyrics that fit the story, and tP in general.
I especially liked this line: to read just like an open book, like the one whose pages are being scattered in the wind by her hands.
Thank you once again :)
Reviewer: Manoline SignedPoor fellow, reminds her of two dead guys. I'm just kidding, I love this story. Mostly because I don't know what will happen next. And I wouldn't mind if John turned out to be Jarod *nudge nudge*. If he does and he has amnesia, then why would he falsify his death certificate? And should Parker tell him about the Centre or just let him be blissfully unaware? *waits anxiously for the next chapter*
I like this story :)
Aw, so sweet. Please continue.
I'm so happy you decided to continue working on this story!
And it was well worth the wait. *waits excitedly for next update*
Reviewer: Manoline SignedOh I am really liking this. Will be very interested to see where you take the whole scrolls-thing
Reviewer: Manoline SignedSo I finally got around to reading your latest chapter Whashaza. And I love it!
The intro-scene from Stand Up Guy (?) was just a perfect fit, and you wrote it very nicely I must say. Also love how you portray Jarod's need to believe all is right with Ben, when he obviously knows it isn't.
Reviewer: Manoline SignedJust on a general note, it's so cool how you start every chappie with a famous scene from The Pretender that fits with the chapter. And you tell them so well too.
I must say, I really like your Lyle (watch out 'Nothing Means Something' :P ) how you manage to tell him so grotesquely genuine.
Yet another great chapter
*sitting on the edge of her seat slowly scooting further out* ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!
I must say you are tying this up unexpectedly well. All the pieces fits, and suddenly we're right back where we started, only with so much more information.
And the mini-phone call, so sweet.
I'll be looking forward to seeing what happens next.
Reviewer: Manoline SignedOooh intrigue!
Like how Jarod is semi-confused as to whether or not his memories are real. Makes ofr an interesting twist
We're gonna find out more about what Parker was told in the Tower meating, right?
Hm...Parker breaking the Centre, sounds good to me
*sits and waits for next chapter*
Reviewer: Manoline SignedOooh, the plot thickens. Especially loved the Triumvirate part. Can't wait to see what Parker has in mind
Reviewer: Manoline SignedOoooh intrigue *hears the music swell dramatically (August Rush, anyone?)*
Lovelove the scene with the flashbacks and the sweeper-slashing. With a bit of fine tuning it turned out great.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
as per request, this is me responding and saying thanks to a super beta who helped to fine tune said scene, with Terra's help. ;-) heheheh, seriously, thanks for the input in making a good chapter great.
Reviewer: Manoline SignedAwwwww, how cute.
But seriously, I think in the end you tied this chapter very nicely together. Especially like the scene when they're reviving Parker with the flashbacks. And the Margaret-scene... And - well, the whole thing really.
Great job!
Ooooh Intrigue!
Really think you tied this chapter well together in the end. Some of the lines just hit you hard, in a good way. My fave has to be (in the propper context of course) "and then Lyle found her." Chills every single time.
Then I suppose the biggest question of all is: Is Parker dead or alive? Hmmm. Guess we'll all just have to wait for the next chapter
Reviewer: Manoline SignedOooooh I love love love the Margaret/evil Daddy interaction. And I love the idea of her going back to the old house. Really helps to give a look inside the mind of mommy...feel really bad for her poor thing.
And I think you do the "half immobilized/ half not"-Parker verrry well. Lyle as always both freaks and creeps me out. And poor poor Sydney (and his head. Ouch!).
*bites nails* (yeah yeah, bad habit I know). What will you think of next?
Reviewer: Manoline SignedI love the chapter.
I'm so happy to see that you're writing again. Can't wait to see where you go from here.
- S
What price will someone pay for what they want?
I really like how you mix the sarcasem with the awful torture and pain. Keep up the good work. (Don't make me call Willy and Gar. Trust me, that's not something you want)
Cute story. Seems just like Jarod to leave a virtual notebook after that kind of a pretend.
Reviewer: Manoline SignedTheir plane is ready for lift-off, two pretenders and their father. But Jarod is not leaving after all. Why?
I think this piece provides great insight into what must have been running through Jarod's mind when everything unraveled in the final moments of Donoterase. On top of that it's a great read, you manage to pack a lot of excitement into just a few words.
Five stars easy
Reviewer: Manoline SignedI was laughing so hard when he overpowered the poor sweepers the way he did, very Jarod like. I really like how Jarod thinks about possible escape rutes in his daily life, seems very logical. And I can't wait to find out more about Reyna and her past.
TBC? - I hope so