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Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They are owned by MTM and NBC. No infringement intended.
Simulation Parker
by Ulrike Romberg
She can kill with her smile
She can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child but
She's always a woman to me.
She can leave you to love
She can take you or leave you
She can ask for the truth but she'll never believe you
And she'll take what you give her as long as it's free
Yes she steals like a thief but
She's always a woman to me.
Oh she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
She's ahead of her time
Oh and she never gives out
And she never gives in
She just changes her mind
She is frequently kind then she's suddenly cool
She can do as she pleases she's nobody's fool
And she can't be convincted she's earned her degree
And the most she will do is throw shadows at you but
She's always a woman to me.
© Billy Joel
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11 a.m.
August 1998
Norton, Connecticut
"Jarod!" Miss Parker yelled, probably for the hundredth time in two years, and ran after the figure in black whom she could see fleeing in front of her. This time, Boy Wonder, she said to herself but didn't finish the thought. She was more concentrated on running as quickly as possible on the sand. The people on the beach stared at her, some amused, some scared, and all of them wide-eyedly at the gun she was holding in her hand. Normally, she wasn't being so careless, after all the police could come and ask why the hell she was pursuing this innocent man - and that would get her into a lot of trouble, at least until Daddy would come to get her out of it. But till then Jarod would be far away and she would again be sitting in the Centre, cursing his name.
She was alone this time. Sam had been ordered to go with Raines, who was doing whatever his evil mind was telling him to do. Well, they couldn't wait to prove that she was incapable of catching Jarod, could they? She opened her mouth to gasp for air and realized her condition left something to be desired. She was totally out of breath and Jarod was still a lot of yards ahead.
Jarod suddenly made an abrupt turn to the left, leaving the beach and running onto the street. Probably to get the people on the beach out of danger, it crossed her mind quickly. That was so typical for him, and that was what she found so disgusting.
He came to a stop suddenly in front of the street when several cars and a truck passed by, his instincts overcoming him - he could obviously not run into death consciously, not even when thinking about the Centre. Very wise of him. "Stop Jarod!" she screamed and stopped behind him, breathing fast. "One move and I'll shoot you."
He turned around slowly, looking at her with the arrogant expression she hated so much. Or did she? Whatever was it that made something inside her flutter when standing in front of him again after two months? No! she shouted and banished the thoughts from her mind. She would certainly not ponder over her motivations right now.
She put up the mask again, grinning at him evilly. "Nice to see you, Jarod."
He nodded, raising his hands in defeat. "This time, Miss Parker, huh?" Her eyes widened. Why did he always seem to read her thoughts? Why? That made her so furious. "Don't try to get smart with me, Jarod."
He smiled mockingly. "I'd never dare to."
She took out her handcuffs and put them on his hands. With her head, she motioned for him to start walking in the direction of her car. Considering her pulse and state of breath, it was quite a distance from here.
Of course, Mr. Pretender had to start a conversation again. "So this was your last gun action?"
She threw him a deadly look saying, don't even start. "You can bet it was. As soon as you're back in the Centre..." she let the sentence trail and knew it was mean. She was gonna be free and him not. Her butt for his.
Jarod understood and nodded, staying silent.
3.20 p.m.
The Centre
Blue Cove, Delaware
She found it quite interesting to watch the different expressions when Jarod was brought in. Mr. Parker went over to her, a smile of joy on his face. "Darling, I knew you would make it. After all, you're a Parker."
"Just stop it, Daddy", she sighed and watched Jarod being surrounded by sweepers.
Her father smiled, used to her tone but not knowing her real thoughts and feelings about him. He thought she was his Princess. Ridiculous. How could he believe he still had her trust after all the times he had lied to her, done things behind her back, and when it wasn't even sure what role he had played in April of 1970? When his wife had died. The woman who had nearly destroyed most of the Centre's work, which was after all still his life's work. Miss Parker blinked back tears -something she'd had to do too often in the last weeks- when wondering: What had been more important for him, his wife or the Centre?
She saw Raines watching her from the shadows and despite her bitter thoughts, she felt a smile creep upon her face. There you go, bastard. Take your blond Briton and try speaking up against me.
Miss Parker turned to the right and saw two figures she knew all too well, standing in a corner and watching the whole scene.
One carried an expression of disbelief and nervousness - wondering what he'd be ordered to do now that Jarod was back. And the other one...
Her stomach turned when she saw Sydney's face. It was rare that he gave up his mask -if she was the Ice Queen, he was Dr. Freud- but now... she could see directly into his heart, and that made her want to cry out in anger and sadness. He loved Jarod, she saw it clearly now, and the son his heart had adopted was now in captivity again. Jarod's whole life was ruined and so was Sydney's.
Quickly, she turned away from the elder man and with one more satisfied look at Jarod being led away -ignoring the glance he threw her- she turned and stalked out.
3 hours later
Mr. Parker turned his gaze away from the window when his daughter came in. He smiled at her. "So, have you packed yet?"
She smiled back, for once freely. "I couldn't wait to." With sudden fear, she quickly asked, "You are gonna let me go Daddy, aren't you?"
He laughed, opening his desk's drawer and taking out some documents. "I keep my promises." He handed her the papers. "You're free, Princess."
She looked down at the papers she was holding, seeing recommendations - a lot of them. "Helps you find a job", Mr. Parker explained. She looked up to him accusingly, and he held up his hands. "Hey - you don't have to use them. It's just Daddy who's afraid to send his little girl into the world."
She stood up. "I'm gonna get along." He stood up as well, going around the desk and hugging her. "I'm gonna miss you, Princess."
"Me too, Daddy", she whispered, suddenly afraid. But the little girl didn't stay long. "I'll be calling you, of course."
"Me too", he replied. "You can bet on that."
She nodded, suddenly thinking that one person wouldn't be troubling her anymore with his mysterious calls, many of them at times like 3 a.m. She was free. Freed from the Centre and from Jarod. But what did freedom really mean?
Giving her Dad another hug and smile, she left his office and parted into the great wide world.
The first thing she felt the urge to do was to get as far away from the Centre as possible. Far away from Blue Cove, far away from Delaware. What better way to achieve this than going back to Tokio? She had once gone to college there for a year - it was a city she'd liked to live in and people she'd got along with quite well. Not speaking of the distance to the US! And she still had some friends there who would maybe look for a job for her.
She wasn't about to show Daddy's recommendations to anyone.
Two days later
Miss Parker's apartment
Miss Parker just came in from a walk at the beach when her phone rang. "What?"
"Hello Parker", a voice she hadn't heard for decades greeted her cheerfully. She sat down, surprised. "Oniko?" She had spoken some words onto her old friend's answering machine yesterday.
The woman affirmed, still with a smile in her voice. "Parker, how have you been doing?" she went on in Japanese. "You stopped writing after a while."
Miss Parker grimaced, knowing what her friend would be thinking of her. "Yeah, I know, and now suddenly Parker calls and asks for a job. I've been busy, you know. Very busy. Sorry."
"Hey, calm down. I know the Americans, and I know you, Parker. I'm not offended." Parker smiled. Oniko was still as sweet as she had been back in the days. "I'm sorry anyway."
Oniko laughed. "Apology accepted. Now, Parker, I've asked at the Tokio Institute for Linguistic Research, and I can tell they'd be pleased to have you."
Miss Parker shook her head. "Did you lie about my competence or what?"
"No, they just have a shortage on US Americans. You’d be the second one - the others are all from other nations."
She smiled. "Sounds good. What should I do there?"
"Do some research", Oniko replied and Miss Parker could hear her grin. "On languages. In Tokio."
"Hilarious."
"Listen Parker, I suggest you get over here and look at it yourself. Always had so much money, didn't you?"
Miss Parker rolled her eyes. There was her weak point. Daddy would be providing her with an inexhaustible account for her whole life -his favorite way of showing affection. But she didn't like staying dependent from her father and in that way, the Centre. "One has to save his money in times like these", she said dramatically.
"Well, I just think it's the right thing for you. Don't you trust an old friend's judgment?"
Miss Parker sighed. "I guess I have no other chance. I'll be coming in about a week or so."
"See you then, Parker. And don't you dare forgetting me again!" Oniko laughed and ended the call.
With a smile, Miss Parker put down the receiver. And decided it was time to call somebody else.
"This is Sydney", a weak voice answered. Weak? Or was that only her weird imagination playing a trick on her?
"Sydney, it's me. How are you doing?" She didn't know why she asked this question. It was certainly not Parkeresque, much less her Ice Queen manner. But what did it matter - her life had started new.
To her surprise and concern, he answered with a bitter laugh. "Oh, I'm doing great. What's up Miss Parker?"
She remained silent for a moment, her thoughts racing. She felt guilty all of a sudden. She had completed her task, she was free, and Sydney? And what had she done in these two days - not even a single thought had been wasted on him. "Oh, I'm just calling to tell you I'll be going to Tokio and..." She rolled her eyes, realizing she was babbling and not getting to the point.
Despite his obvious distress, Sydney's voice smiled when he answered: "That far away, Miss Parker? Daddy's gonna miss you."
"I'll be grateful to have some vacations from him", she confessed. "Sydney, I saw your face when I brought Jarod." She didn't say more. It wasn't necessary.
Sydney's only answer was one more of his bitter laughs that went right through her heart.
"Sydney, I just want you to know if you wanna talk..."
He laughed, this time a little more humorful. "You playing the psychiatrist, reine de la glace?"
She smiled a small smile. "You can't be your own therapist."
"Oh believe me I can."
She sighed. "Syd-"
"Look, he's there, I can't do anything, and they won't let me talk to him. What do you expect me to do?"
She blinked, knowing her answer would be harsh. "Forget him, Sydney. As I will", she added in a low voice.
"Good luck." He hung up and left her contemplating on the tone of his voice - ironical, humorous, bitter, encouraging...?
9 p.m.
The Centre
Blue Cove, Delaware
It was the blonde pacing up and down who kept Jarod from concentrating. He was trying to calm down, or better, to look like trying to calm down. They'd be watching their Pretender very intensely now they had him back.
Suddenly Brigitte stopped in her tracks and looked at him. Her face twisted into a broad smile. "You all right Baby Boy?"
Her didn't waste his energy on giving her an answer. Instead he looked the other way, fixing his eyes on the grey wall to his right. He could only hear the clicking of her heels when she approached him. Then he felt her grabbing his chin with her hand and turning his head to face her. "No desire to chat?" she queried, again smiling in her own special way.
"Not with you", he replied shortly and continued to look into her eyes calmly. He wasn't about to let her drag him out of his composure.
"That's a pity", she said. "'Cus there are only two ways of communicating with me." She made a delicious pause. "Chatting and..."
He looked at her in disgust, almost seeing her cool carelessness. She wouldn't hesitate torturing or killing him, not her. It was hard for him to keep himself from pretending to be her - an experience he'd rather not make.
Brigitte shot him another grin, flashing her teeth. "I bet we'd be having some fun, you and I - pity the Centre wants a fit Pretender."
Jarod stared back, unimpressed.
10.15 p.m. (local time)
Tokio, Japan
Miss Parker walked through Tokio airport and looked around her, for once not smoking a cigarette. The person she was about to meet was a health fanatic. She rolled her eyes, thinking of the instructions she would hear in the following days.
She'd forgotten that the jetlag was this terrible. She even had to force herself to walk straight.
"Parker! Parker!" She heard Oniko's high but still pleasant voice shouting, she turned and saw her friend rushing towards her.
Oniko surprised her with a loving hug. "Parker, I've been missing you." A smile appeared on Miss Parker's lips, and she pulled away. "For 15 years?"
Oniko grinned. "You're not a person to be forgotten so easily. Come on, I'll take you to my apartment."
"But I'm staying in a hotel", Miss Parker protested weakly.
"Nonsense", Oniko said, wiping away all her arguments with one careless gesture. She took her friend's arm. "You'll stay with me till it's clear you stay in Tokio for a longer while, and then till you've found your own apartment." She smiled apologetically. "I'd let you stay forever , but there's Tenchi."
"Tenchi?" Miss Parker had trouble keeping up with the fast little steps of Oniko's that took them outside and up to her car. The little woman climbed into it, and when Miss Parker sat next to her, she started the car. "My 13-year-old son."
Miss Parker's eyebrows rose, and for some seconds she sat there wondering. Then suddenly, realization dawned. "Juijiro? You have a son with him?" She stared at her friend who smiled a little strangely. "Well, he's Tenchi's father but he never behaved like that. We broke up two months after the boy's birth, you know."
"Oh", Miss Parker said. "I'm sorry." She watched the red lights in front of them glowing mysteriously in the dark.
Oniko flashed her another smile."Oh, I'm over it. And Tenchi's really a bright boy."
"I believe he is."
"What about you, Parker - any loves of your life so far?"
She let out a contemptuous laugh. "Oh, certainly not."
Oniko threw her a quick glance and frowned slightly. "Parker, you're hiding something."
Flash through body. "What?"
Oniko grinned. "Oh, come on. I've spent twenty years studying the human being and I know what I'm talking about. There's a man in your life."
Parker rolled her eyes. Mad-doctors everywhere she went. Oh well, there were many men in her life she didn't even want to waste a thought on: Raines plus all of his killers, momentarily her father, Lyle... She shivered in disgust.
Jarod. Again that flash that went from head to toes. She shook her head, trying to clear her head of the images appearing and troubling her.
"I don't know what you're talking about", she lied, turning to the window. They left the highway, turning into an avenue with street lamps every five yards.
Oniko looked at her concernedly and frowned. She was, so she intended, definitely going to touch that subject again. Next time more carefully.
The next day
Tokio, Japan
Miss Parker left the institute and looked at her watch. 3 p.m. She decided to take a walk. From here, it was only twenty minutes up to Oniko's apartment, and the fresh air - the institute and the apartment were in a kind of outskirt- improved her health a lot. Not that she'd ever been too much of a health freak - every bit of fresh air had been inhaled along with a proper portion of nicotine. But she'd made a deal with Oniko, the medicine woman: No cigarettes for one week. And if that didn't kill her, for another week, and another. It was kind of the prize she paid for living in that apartment.
The people in the institute were quite okay. Well, if she were another person, she would have said they were wonderful people. But being Miss Parker, she thought of their negative sides that would undoubtedly show in time and told herself she was gonna get along with them somehow.
Oniko had been right - they'd welcomed her with open arms, almost too easy a way to find a job in today's world. But she obviously had a lot of luck - it seemed to be a suitable work, regarding her skills and interests, and it included a friendly environment that pleased her - although she'd never admit that, of course.
She didn't miss the Centre at all. Should she feel guilty because of that? Probably not concerning her father who had never really paid attention to her anyway - but she felt she owed something to Sydney and Broots. And she hadn't thought of them once. Miss Parker shook her head when remembering Sydney's tone in their last conversation. She was gonna call him tonight - now it would be 1 a.m. in Blue Cove.
She wondered how Jarod was. Was he holding her responsible for bringing him back into the worst prison of all times? Probably. "There's always a choice, Miss Parker." She closed her eyes for a second when almost being able to hear his voice, to see his smile. She shook her head and tried to recall the arrogant, patronizing smile he'd always spared for her, but the only one she saw was the kind, empathic smile of the Pretender. Who could be anyone he wanted to be.
Only the smile stayed the same. So much pain and loneliness behind his mask, but still having an open heart for others. Even for her.
This is not my fault! she cried to Jarod as if talking to him on the phone - like so many times before. It was my job. If I hadn't done it, somebody else would have hunted you. It's not fair of you to hold me responsible for that!
"AAGH!" she shouted and kicked a stone into a bush. It didn't feel better now. Why in the world was she trying to justify her actions before herself? This was certainly the result of Jarod's influence. She wondered whether she was still having her own will and thoughts or if that half-empath had hypnotized her by his talking, on and on and on... So convincing, and so much sounding like the truth. The truth that never seemed to be pleasant.
Let's resume, she thought and smiled sarcastically. Jarod told me my mother was killed, my biological father is probably Ben Miller, my adopted father keeps lying to me about things and besides, doesn't really care about me, my twin brother is either Angelo or Lyle. Great!
She hadn’t noticed Tenchi join her some minutes ago - now she turned around surprised when suddenly hearing somebody shuffling his feet.
The Japanese boy looked up at her and smiled. "Hello Parker. Are you well?" He was learning English in school, and Oniko sometimes spoke it with him; still, his accent was obvious. But it was the first accent that didn't sounding like abusing the English language (as German, Russian and many other accents). It was just cute.
Oniko had asked her to speak English with him so he'd learn it a little more. She did just that.
"I feel okay", she replied. "And you?"
He shrugged, grinning. He wasn't a person of too many words. Maybe it was the language - but then, Oniko had said he never really talked much. Just kept showing his polite smile - one way to go through life.
But today, he seemed to feel like talking. "You don't have the face of 'okay'", he said, looking at her attentively.
Oh no, she groaned. He's trying to be like his mother. Of course, she told herself, he's just speculating and not right in any way. "I never look like feeling good", she said and wasn't even lying. "There are people who say my personality is hidden under twenty inches of ice." She spoke those words in Japanese so he'd understand them.
Tenchi shook his head, walking backwards in front of her so that he could look into her face. "I know I'm not that good at analyzing people", he had switched languages too. "But you seem to me like thinking of something sad or unpleasant."
One second before an icy, cynical comment wanted to jump from her tongue, she was able to stop herself. She smiled a half-smile and watched him in turn. "Maybe you're right. Tell me... what would you do if you had done something terrible to a person you respected and wanted to make up for it?" She had to grin to herself. She was asking this philosophical -and personal- question to a thriteen-year-old boy whom she didn't even really know?
To her surprise, Tenchi seemed ahead of his age. A lot. "I'd ask the person to forgive me. That does help sometimes, you know."
She closed her eyes. "Yes, but it's something never to be forgiven. His life his ruined and it's my fault." Here you go, she thought. Breaking your own barriers in a conversation with a boy.
"And you can't do anything to build up his life again?" Tenchi asked. He had no idea what she was talking about but didn't ask any questions. Again remarkable for his age.
She rolled her eyes. "Not if I want to stay alive."
Tenchi smiled and turned his face into the sun. "Well then, I guess it's a question of how high you esteem that person."
She sighed loudly and turned away to hide the expression on her face, full of emotion.
11.30 a.m.
The Centre
Blue Cove, Delaware
Jarod looked up from his laptop when hearing a loud scratch. Angelo? He threw a glance at the air vent, but it was empty.
The door to his room opened, and Sydney came in. Or rather, sneaked in. Jarod's eyes widened when he realized what Syd was up to.
Sydney put his finger to his lips and looked around. Jarod hadn't noticed the cameras go out, but they were now. Broots?
"Sydney, what...?" he asked with a questioning look on his face.
"I'm gonna get you out of here", Sydney whispered. "Come on." He dragged the Pretender with him up to the door.
Jarod shook his head wildly. "Sydney, stop! You're never gonna make it out of here safe."
Sydney turned to him and smiled wearily. "But you are. If we hurry up."
"But Syd-" They were walking down the corridor very fast, Jarod hesitatingly and Sydney pulling him along.
"Broots helped shut down the electricity", he continued whispering. "If everything worked out alright, he and Debbie are sitting in a plane right now. To the west."
Jarod's mind worked fast. He couldn't let this happen. He alone could have made it, but not Sydney, too. They would get him sooner or later.
Sydney knocked out a sweeper standing in front of a door. Jarod noticed Syd taking the man's gun, and a plan began to form in his head. Sydney wouldn't understand it, but that wasn't important. What was important was that Sydney came out this alive - and him, too, if it was possible.
When Sydney went into the room that would lead to a flight of stairs, Jarod stayed behind and pushed a button named LOCATION. It blinked in a continuous red.
Sydney turned to see what Jarod had done and stared at him with wide eyes. "Jarod, whatever did you do that for?"
Jarod took a step forward and reached into Syd's jacket, pulling out the gun. "It's not gonna work out this time", he said and aimed the gun at the wall, firing a shot. The sound echoed through the corridor.
Jarod heard fast steps run up the stairs, the sweepers had almost reached their position when he tossed the gun at Sydney. The elder man caught it and Jarod staggered backwards. Willie and another man came running up the stairs and saw Jarod slumped against the wall and Sydney holding a gun.
"Everything under control here?" Willie gasped and watched the motionless figure of Jarod.
Sydney looked at him, still completely irritated, and then nodded slightly.
12.20 p.m.
Tokio, Japan
Oniko looked up from her bowl of rice and gave her son a disapproving look. "Tenchi, how often must I tell you not to eat this loud."
"Sorry", Tenchi said with his mouth full of rice and earned another glare from his mother.
Oniko shook her head and sighed. "Did you ever plan to get children, Parker?"
Miss Parker raised her eyebrows and let out a short -as well disapproving- laugh. "I plan to never get children."
Oniko grinned. "Now, that's my stubborn Parker. I'm not trying to tell you children are but a plague - they are nice, if you teach them to be respectful." She shot Tenchi a deadly glare, which he returned with an impudent grin.
Parker shrugged. "Well, I don't seem to get along with children anyway, so..."
Oniko frowned. "Why's that? Forbid them everything and shout at them if they ask questions?"
She laughed. "Yeah, like that. But -and that's very astonishing- there's one girl who likes me. She... somehow broke through my shell, as you called it back in the days."
Oniko laughed as well. "I was the only female person to be allowed to talk to you. Though... you actually didn't use the male beings at the college for talking, but..."
"Oniko!" Parker shot her a killing look; then she motioned to Tenchi. "There are innocent children in here."
Tenchi grinned broadly. "There were." With that, he was gone.
Oniko sighed contentedly. "Don't I have an attentive son... no reason for you to hide anything now."
Parker rolled her eyes. "Hey, we discussed that back then. I was the sex hungry American, right?!"
Oniko started to laugh and Parker joined in. When the Japanese was breathing normally again, she grabbed Parker's arm and they sat down on the colored carpet in the living-room. "By the way, did you get as much attention from the American men?" Oniko queried, with a wink.
Parker rolled her eyes. "American men are boring."
"Well, Japanese are the better lovers, everybody knows that", Oniko retorted without batting an eyelid. "But is it really true?"
Parker sighed. "Stop beating round the bush, Oniko. You want to know something."
"Okay." Oniko shifted closer to her and looked inquiringly into her eyes. "I mentioned a man in your life two days ago and was met with a rebuff."
Her shoulders fell. Why did those people always hunt her down - was this fair? Not even she was able to maintain a shield around her emotions for long. "Look, if I didn't talk about that, I'll have had my reason, don't you think?"
Oniko shrugged. "I doubt the fact you don't wanna talk about it."
Parker laughed cynically. "Well, humans always wanna talk about everything, don't they? Don't you damned psychiatrists ever think it possible that there are persons who don't?!"
Oniko backed away, surprised. "It seems you're suffering from a trauma concerning psychiatrists."
"Oniko, just give me a break, will you?"
Her friend smiled. "Sorry. But... I do have the feeling that you still need somebody's advice in this."
Miss Parker shook her head and sighed, laying down on the carpet. Oniko sat next to her and looked down, a reassuring smile on her face. "Do you love him?"
She froze and closed her eyes. "Who knows? Maybe I do."
"And does he love you?"
Parker laughed, abruptly, bitterly. "Well, how could he? He doesn't even know what love is. Nobody ever taught him." She felt tears dwelling in her eyes. "Aside from that, I never gave him a reason to."
"Why?" Oniko's voice sounded from far away, echoing in Parker's mind and almost hypnotizing her.
"Because I'm supposed to hate him", she said and shook her head once more; trying to shake off all the truth that was penetrating her mind. "Because he's the person who ruined my life." She frowned, and after a while, said, "No, I'm lying to myself again."
Oniko smiled and put her hand on Parker's. "Isn't he a victim too, just the object that seems to be ruining your life?"
Parker sat up and opened her eyes. She tried to smile. "It's not as philosophical as you think. It's just... I made a mistake. My whole life is a mistake."
Oniko shook her head. "That's not true for anybody." After a moment of silence, she added: "Tenchi told me about your conversation yesterday."
Parker laughed. "I should have expected that. He tried to play the psychiatrist and I even ran into the trap."
"Well, he's not doing that bad after all", Oniko defended him. "He's right and you know it", she sang.
Miss Parker smiled at the sudden upcoming humor of Oniko's. "Okay. He's right. 'It's a question of how high I esteem that person', huh?"
Oniko looked down and smiled wryly. "That's unfortunately a thing psychiatrists can't control. But judging from your words and the way you said them..."
"I have a hopeless crush on him." Parker didn't try to hide the irony in her voice.
"Your lives are hopelessly bound up", Oniko corrected. "You can't escape those feelings by travelling some thousand miles, Parker."
Parker nodded. "So it's not 'out of sight, out of mind'?"
Oniko shook her head, smiling ruefully. "I'm afraid it isn't."
The following day
Today was her first day in the institute and she found out the people were really great to get along with. But there was something she missed, and it was because of Oniko's "open your mind"-session the night before that she could admit to herself: She missed Jarod. Not mentioning Sydney and even Broots.
But there was something she'd never realized in the USA while pursuing Jarod, a feeling that left her totally confused. Whether it was an 'after-effect' of their love at child age or a new, even deeper feeling that tied her to this man, she didn't know.
One thing was for sure: She would never be the same again.
Her handy dragged her out of her thoughts in the morning.
"Parker", she answered, surprising herself.
"What, no what?" Sydney asked ironically.
She smiled. "Changing life, changing habits."
"Ah."
"How are you Syd?" she asked, the concern in her voice obvious. But she didn't care.
"Comme ci, comme ca. And you?"
"Oh, I'm great. Sydney what's that in the last few days - getting back to your roots?"
"You mean the French comments?" He laughed. "Maybe your life changing influences me as well."
"Yeah, maybe." She wondered whether she should ask how Jarod was, but there was still too much arrogance in her it seemed. "How's the Centre doing? Still everything as dark and scary as before?"
Sydney made a contemptuous sound. "Still as unnerving as before. I'm calling from a phone booth because I have to tell you something. Is your handy safe?"
She frowned. Some conspirations again? Would they haunt her till she was dead? "I let it be debugged before I went. By Angelo."
"Angelo?" Sydney asked, suprised. "And he helped you?"
She shrugged. "He may be my brother."
"Well, that's a reason." Irony? Well, what did it matter. "So, what did you want to tell me?" she asked.
"I tried to free Jarod yesterday." She sat upright. "What?!"
Sydney laughed, somewhat sarcastically. "What did you expect, Parker?"
Yeah, what did I expect. Good question. It should have been clear to her that he'd try sooner or later. "And what happened?"
"Jarod stopped me. He put on the alarm and made it look like I'd stopped him in his try to get free."
Parker frowned and shook her head in confusion. "Well, he didn't want you to get hurt."
"Don't you understand, Parker, Jarod would have found a way. Without him or me getting hurt. He's planning something."
For a while she sat motionless, realizing what Sydney had just said. "Do you mean he wanted me to get him into the Centre?"
"That's what I'm saying."
"But, but Sydney", she stammered, unable to believe the truth.
"Parker, Jarod's a Pretender. He's even the best of all Pretenders. He went in and out of the Centre for several times now."
She rolled her eyes. "So the message is: Stand by, you might be called back to start hunting again."
"Mhm." They stayed silent. Then she couldn't stand it anymore. "Syd, how is Jarod right now?"
She was almost able to see his all-knowing smile. But she didn't care. "I guess he's quite okay. I thought he was lethargic first, but now..."
Miss Parker sighed and shook her head. Now she found out she had made this decision long before without knowing it. "It's no use. I'm coming back, Syd."
5 a.m.
Blue Cove, Delaware
Blue Cove Airport. How she loved it. She could almost smell the Centre here - she realized suddenly she had never seen anything of the town. She wondered if there was a town? Maybe the Centre formed it.
Her flight had been almost empty - no wonder at this time. She rubbed her eyes to get the sleep out of it.
She stepped into the hall slowly. Maybe she was trying to prolong the time before getting to the Centre again. The five or six persons from her flight had long since vanished when she sat down in a waiting-room and buried her face in her hands. She was tired and angry, so angry because of her fate that seemed unchangeable.
It was only some minutes later that she became aware of a person standing in front of her. She raised her head to see Jarod standing there, smiling at her. She was even too tired to search for her gun.
He sat down beside her. "How was life out there?" he asked, in a normal conversation tone.
She smiled. "Exciting."
He nodded. "My stay in the Centre encouraged me in running away even more."
Miss Parker nodded, too. "I can imagine it did." She turned her head to face him. "Did you like playing that game?"
Jarod frowned. "Not game. Call it... simulation."
She shrugged. "Whatever. I guess you achieved what you wanted. I'm here."
He smiled. "Only because Syd told you I was behaving suspect."
"Oh, I see", she seemed to be gradually regaining her sarcastic tone. "So the aim was to find out if Miss Parker could stand life without having the deep pleasure of running after Jarod to be failing anyway at the end."
"The question is if you would have come back without the call." Jarod rested his elbows on his knees and looked out of the window.
She nodded once more. "I guess we'll never find out."
They sat there, next to each other, remaining silent.
_____________________________________________________________
Feedback please! tpren@gmx.de
by Ulrike Romberg
She can kill with her smile
She can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child but
She's always a woman to me.
She can leave you to love
She can take you or leave you
She can ask for the truth but she'll never believe you
And she'll take what you give her as long as it's free
Yes she steals like a thief but
She's always a woman to me.
Oh she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
She's ahead of her time
Oh and she never gives out
And she never gives in
She just changes her mind
She is frequently kind then she's suddenly cool
She can do as she pleases she's nobody's fool
And she can't be convincted she's earned her degree
And the most she will do is throw shadows at you but
She's always a woman to me.
© Billy Joel
------------------------------------------------------------------
11 a.m.
August 1998
Norton, Connecticut
"Jarod!" Miss Parker yelled, probably for the hundredth time in two years, and ran after the figure in black whom she could see fleeing in front of her. This time, Boy Wonder, she said to herself but didn't finish the thought. She was more concentrated on running as quickly as possible on the sand. The people on the beach stared at her, some amused, some scared, and all of them wide-eyedly at the gun she was holding in her hand. Normally, she wasn't being so careless, after all the police could come and ask why the hell she was pursuing this innocent man - and that would get her into a lot of trouble, at least until Daddy would come to get her out of it. But till then Jarod would be far away and she would again be sitting in the Centre, cursing his name.
She was alone this time. Sam had been ordered to go with Raines, who was doing whatever his evil mind was telling him to do. Well, they couldn't wait to prove that she was incapable of catching Jarod, could they? She opened her mouth to gasp for air and realized her condition left something to be desired. She was totally out of breath and Jarod was still a lot of yards ahead.
Jarod suddenly made an abrupt turn to the left, leaving the beach and running onto the street. Probably to get the people on the beach out of danger, it crossed her mind quickly. That was so typical for him, and that was what she found so disgusting.
He came to a stop suddenly in front of the street when several cars and a truck passed by, his instincts overcoming him - he could obviously not run into death consciously, not even when thinking about the Centre. Very wise of him. "Stop Jarod!" she screamed and stopped behind him, breathing fast. "One move and I'll shoot you."
He turned around slowly, looking at her with the arrogant expression she hated so much. Or did she? Whatever was it that made something inside her flutter when standing in front of him again after two months? No! she shouted and banished the thoughts from her mind. She would certainly not ponder over her motivations right now.
She put up the mask again, grinning at him evilly. "Nice to see you, Jarod."
He nodded, raising his hands in defeat. "This time, Miss Parker, huh?" Her eyes widened. Why did he always seem to read her thoughts? Why? That made her so furious. "Don't try to get smart with me, Jarod."
He smiled mockingly. "I'd never dare to."
She took out her handcuffs and put them on his hands. With her head, she motioned for him to start walking in the direction of her car. Considering her pulse and state of breath, it was quite a distance from here.
Of course, Mr. Pretender had to start a conversation again. "So this was your last gun action?"
She threw him a deadly look saying, don't even start. "You can bet it was. As soon as you're back in the Centre..." she let the sentence trail and knew it was mean. She was gonna be free and him not. Her butt for his.
Jarod understood and nodded, staying silent.
3.20 p.m.
The Centre
Blue Cove, Delaware
She found it quite interesting to watch the different expressions when Jarod was brought in. Mr. Parker went over to her, a smile of joy on his face. "Darling, I knew you would make it. After all, you're a Parker."
"Just stop it, Daddy", she sighed and watched Jarod being surrounded by sweepers.
Her father smiled, used to her tone but not knowing her real thoughts and feelings about him. He thought she was his Princess. Ridiculous. How could he believe he still had her trust after all the times he had lied to her, done things behind her back, and when it wasn't even sure what role he had played in April of 1970? When his wife had died. The woman who had nearly destroyed most of the Centre's work, which was after all still his life's work. Miss Parker blinked back tears -something she'd had to do too often in the last weeks- when wondering: What had been more important for him, his wife or the Centre?
She saw Raines watching her from the shadows and despite her bitter thoughts, she felt a smile creep upon her face. There you go, bastard. Take your blond Briton and try speaking up against me.
Miss Parker turned to the right and saw two figures she knew all too well, standing in a corner and watching the whole scene.
One carried an expression of disbelief and nervousness - wondering what he'd be ordered to do now that Jarod was back. And the other one...
Her stomach turned when she saw Sydney's face. It was rare that he gave up his mask -if she was the Ice Queen, he was Dr. Freud- but now... she could see directly into his heart, and that made her want to cry out in anger and sadness. He loved Jarod, she saw it clearly now, and the son his heart had adopted was now in captivity again. Jarod's whole life was ruined and so was Sydney's.
Quickly, she turned away from the elder man and with one more satisfied look at Jarod being led away -ignoring the glance he threw her- she turned and stalked out.
3 hours later
Mr. Parker turned his gaze away from the window when his daughter came in. He smiled at her. "So, have you packed yet?"
She smiled back, for once freely. "I couldn't wait to." With sudden fear, she quickly asked, "You are gonna let me go Daddy, aren't you?"
He laughed, opening his desk's drawer and taking out some documents. "I keep my promises." He handed her the papers. "You're free, Princess."
She looked down at the papers she was holding, seeing recommendations - a lot of them. "Helps you find a job", Mr. Parker explained. She looked up to him accusingly, and he held up his hands. "Hey - you don't have to use them. It's just Daddy who's afraid to send his little girl into the world."
She stood up. "I'm gonna get along." He stood up as well, going around the desk and hugging her. "I'm gonna miss you, Princess."
"Me too, Daddy", she whispered, suddenly afraid. But the little girl didn't stay long. "I'll be calling you, of course."
"Me too", he replied. "You can bet on that."
She nodded, suddenly thinking that one person wouldn't be troubling her anymore with his mysterious calls, many of them at times like 3 a.m. She was free. Freed from the Centre and from Jarod. But what did freedom really mean?
Giving her Dad another hug and smile, she left his office and parted into the great wide world.
The first thing she felt the urge to do was to get as far away from the Centre as possible. Far away from Blue Cove, far away from Delaware. What better way to achieve this than going back to Tokio? She had once gone to college there for a year - it was a city she'd liked to live in and people she'd got along with quite well. Not speaking of the distance to the US! And she still had some friends there who would maybe look for a job for her.
She wasn't about to show Daddy's recommendations to anyone.
Two days later
Miss Parker's apartment
Miss Parker just came in from a walk at the beach when her phone rang. "What?"
"Hello Parker", a voice she hadn't heard for decades greeted her cheerfully. She sat down, surprised. "Oniko?" She had spoken some words onto her old friend's answering machine yesterday.
The woman affirmed, still with a smile in her voice. "Parker, how have you been doing?" she went on in Japanese. "You stopped writing after a while."
Miss Parker grimaced, knowing what her friend would be thinking of her. "Yeah, I know, and now suddenly Parker calls and asks for a job. I've been busy, you know. Very busy. Sorry."
"Hey, calm down. I know the Americans, and I know you, Parker. I'm not offended." Parker smiled. Oniko was still as sweet as she had been back in the days. "I'm sorry anyway."
Oniko laughed. "Apology accepted. Now, Parker, I've asked at the Tokio Institute for Linguistic Research, and I can tell they'd be pleased to have you."
Miss Parker shook her head. "Did you lie about my competence or what?"
"No, they just have a shortage on US Americans. You’d be the second one - the others are all from other nations."
She smiled. "Sounds good. What should I do there?"
"Do some research", Oniko replied and Miss Parker could hear her grin. "On languages. In Tokio."
"Hilarious."
"Listen Parker, I suggest you get over here and look at it yourself. Always had so much money, didn't you?"
Miss Parker rolled her eyes. There was her weak point. Daddy would be providing her with an inexhaustible account for her whole life -his favorite way of showing affection. But she didn't like staying dependent from her father and in that way, the Centre. "One has to save his money in times like these", she said dramatically.
"Well, I just think it's the right thing for you. Don't you trust an old friend's judgment?"
Miss Parker sighed. "I guess I have no other chance. I'll be coming in about a week or so."
"See you then, Parker. And don't you dare forgetting me again!" Oniko laughed and ended the call.
With a smile, Miss Parker put down the receiver. And decided it was time to call somebody else.
"This is Sydney", a weak voice answered. Weak? Or was that only her weird imagination playing a trick on her?
"Sydney, it's me. How are you doing?" She didn't know why she asked this question. It was certainly not Parkeresque, much less her Ice Queen manner. But what did it matter - her life had started new.
To her surprise and concern, he answered with a bitter laugh. "Oh, I'm doing great. What's up Miss Parker?"
She remained silent for a moment, her thoughts racing. She felt guilty all of a sudden. She had completed her task, she was free, and Sydney? And what had she done in these two days - not even a single thought had been wasted on him. "Oh, I'm just calling to tell you I'll be going to Tokio and..." She rolled her eyes, realizing she was babbling and not getting to the point.
Despite his obvious distress, Sydney's voice smiled when he answered: "That far away, Miss Parker? Daddy's gonna miss you."
"I'll be grateful to have some vacations from him", she confessed. "Sydney, I saw your face when I brought Jarod." She didn't say more. It wasn't necessary.
Sydney's only answer was one more of his bitter laughs that went right through her heart.
"Sydney, I just want you to know if you wanna talk..."
He laughed, this time a little more humorful. "You playing the psychiatrist, reine de la glace?"
She smiled a small smile. "You can't be your own therapist."
"Oh believe me I can."
She sighed. "Syd-"
"Look, he's there, I can't do anything, and they won't let me talk to him. What do you expect me to do?"
She blinked, knowing her answer would be harsh. "Forget him, Sydney. As I will", she added in a low voice.
"Good luck." He hung up and left her contemplating on the tone of his voice - ironical, humorous, bitter, encouraging...?
9 p.m.
The Centre
Blue Cove, Delaware
It was the blonde pacing up and down who kept Jarod from concentrating. He was trying to calm down, or better, to look like trying to calm down. They'd be watching their Pretender very intensely now they had him back.
Suddenly Brigitte stopped in her tracks and looked at him. Her face twisted into a broad smile. "You all right Baby Boy?"
Her didn't waste his energy on giving her an answer. Instead he looked the other way, fixing his eyes on the grey wall to his right. He could only hear the clicking of her heels when she approached him. Then he felt her grabbing his chin with her hand and turning his head to face her. "No desire to chat?" she queried, again smiling in her own special way.
"Not with you", he replied shortly and continued to look into her eyes calmly. He wasn't about to let her drag him out of his composure.
"That's a pity", she said. "'Cus there are only two ways of communicating with me." She made a delicious pause. "Chatting and..."
He looked at her in disgust, almost seeing her cool carelessness. She wouldn't hesitate torturing or killing him, not her. It was hard for him to keep himself from pretending to be her - an experience he'd rather not make.
Brigitte shot him another grin, flashing her teeth. "I bet we'd be having some fun, you and I - pity the Centre wants a fit Pretender."
Jarod stared back, unimpressed.
10.15 p.m. (local time)
Tokio, Japan
Miss Parker walked through Tokio airport and looked around her, for once not smoking a cigarette. The person she was about to meet was a health fanatic. She rolled her eyes, thinking of the instructions she would hear in the following days.
She'd forgotten that the jetlag was this terrible. She even had to force herself to walk straight.
"Parker! Parker!" She heard Oniko's high but still pleasant voice shouting, she turned and saw her friend rushing towards her.
Oniko surprised her with a loving hug. "Parker, I've been missing you." A smile appeared on Miss Parker's lips, and she pulled away. "For 15 years?"
Oniko grinned. "You're not a person to be forgotten so easily. Come on, I'll take you to my apartment."
"But I'm staying in a hotel", Miss Parker protested weakly.
"Nonsense", Oniko said, wiping away all her arguments with one careless gesture. She took her friend's arm. "You'll stay with me till it's clear you stay in Tokio for a longer while, and then till you've found your own apartment." She smiled apologetically. "I'd let you stay forever , but there's Tenchi."
"Tenchi?" Miss Parker had trouble keeping up with the fast little steps of Oniko's that took them outside and up to her car. The little woman climbed into it, and when Miss Parker sat next to her, she started the car. "My 13-year-old son."
Miss Parker's eyebrows rose, and for some seconds she sat there wondering. Then suddenly, realization dawned. "Juijiro? You have a son with him?" She stared at her friend who smiled a little strangely. "Well, he's Tenchi's father but he never behaved like that. We broke up two months after the boy's birth, you know."
"Oh", Miss Parker said. "I'm sorry." She watched the red lights in front of them glowing mysteriously in the dark.
Oniko flashed her another smile."Oh, I'm over it. And Tenchi's really a bright boy."
"I believe he is."
"What about you, Parker - any loves of your life so far?"
She let out a contemptuous laugh. "Oh, certainly not."
Oniko threw her a quick glance and frowned slightly. "Parker, you're hiding something."
Flash through body. "What?"
Oniko grinned. "Oh, come on. I've spent twenty years studying the human being and I know what I'm talking about. There's a man in your life."
Parker rolled her eyes. Mad-doctors everywhere she went. Oh well, there were many men in her life she didn't even want to waste a thought on: Raines plus all of his killers, momentarily her father, Lyle... She shivered in disgust.
Jarod. Again that flash that went from head to toes. She shook her head, trying to clear her head of the images appearing and troubling her.
"I don't know what you're talking about", she lied, turning to the window. They left the highway, turning into an avenue with street lamps every five yards.
Oniko looked at her concernedly and frowned. She was, so she intended, definitely going to touch that subject again. Next time more carefully.
The next day
Tokio, Japan
Miss Parker left the institute and looked at her watch. 3 p.m. She decided to take a walk. From here, it was only twenty minutes up to Oniko's apartment, and the fresh air - the institute and the apartment were in a kind of outskirt- improved her health a lot. Not that she'd ever been too much of a health freak - every bit of fresh air had been inhaled along with a proper portion of nicotine. But she'd made a deal with Oniko, the medicine woman: No cigarettes for one week. And if that didn't kill her, for another week, and another. It was kind of the prize she paid for living in that apartment.
The people in the institute were quite okay. Well, if she were another person, she would have said they were wonderful people. But being Miss Parker, she thought of their negative sides that would undoubtedly show in time and told herself she was gonna get along with them somehow.
Oniko had been right - they'd welcomed her with open arms, almost too easy a way to find a job in today's world. But she obviously had a lot of luck - it seemed to be a suitable work, regarding her skills and interests, and it included a friendly environment that pleased her - although she'd never admit that, of course.
She didn't miss the Centre at all. Should she feel guilty because of that? Probably not concerning her father who had never really paid attention to her anyway - but she felt she owed something to Sydney and Broots. And she hadn't thought of them once. Miss Parker shook her head when remembering Sydney's tone in their last conversation. She was gonna call him tonight - now it would be 1 a.m. in Blue Cove.
She wondered how Jarod was. Was he holding her responsible for bringing him back into the worst prison of all times? Probably. "There's always a choice, Miss Parker." She closed her eyes for a second when almost being able to hear his voice, to see his smile. She shook her head and tried to recall the arrogant, patronizing smile he'd always spared for her, but the only one she saw was the kind, empathic smile of the Pretender. Who could be anyone he wanted to be.
Only the smile stayed the same. So much pain and loneliness behind his mask, but still having an open heart for others. Even for her.
This is not my fault! she cried to Jarod as if talking to him on the phone - like so many times before. It was my job. If I hadn't done it, somebody else would have hunted you. It's not fair of you to hold me responsible for that!
"AAGH!" she shouted and kicked a stone into a bush. It didn't feel better now. Why in the world was she trying to justify her actions before herself? This was certainly the result of Jarod's influence. She wondered whether she was still having her own will and thoughts or if that half-empath had hypnotized her by his talking, on and on and on... So convincing, and so much sounding like the truth. The truth that never seemed to be pleasant.
Let's resume, she thought and smiled sarcastically. Jarod told me my mother was killed, my biological father is probably Ben Miller, my adopted father keeps lying to me about things and besides, doesn't really care about me, my twin brother is either Angelo or Lyle. Great!
She hadn’t noticed Tenchi join her some minutes ago - now she turned around surprised when suddenly hearing somebody shuffling his feet.
The Japanese boy looked up at her and smiled. "Hello Parker. Are you well?" He was learning English in school, and Oniko sometimes spoke it with him; still, his accent was obvious. But it was the first accent that didn't sounding like abusing the English language (as German, Russian and many other accents). It was just cute.
Oniko had asked her to speak English with him so he'd learn it a little more. She did just that.
"I feel okay", she replied. "And you?"
He shrugged, grinning. He wasn't a person of too many words. Maybe it was the language - but then, Oniko had said he never really talked much. Just kept showing his polite smile - one way to go through life.
But today, he seemed to feel like talking. "You don't have the face of 'okay'", he said, looking at her attentively.
Oh no, she groaned. He's trying to be like his mother. Of course, she told herself, he's just speculating and not right in any way. "I never look like feeling good", she said and wasn't even lying. "There are people who say my personality is hidden under twenty inches of ice." She spoke those words in Japanese so he'd understand them.
Tenchi shook his head, walking backwards in front of her so that he could look into her face. "I know I'm not that good at analyzing people", he had switched languages too. "But you seem to me like thinking of something sad or unpleasant."
One second before an icy, cynical comment wanted to jump from her tongue, she was able to stop herself. She smiled a half-smile and watched him in turn. "Maybe you're right. Tell me... what would you do if you had done something terrible to a person you respected and wanted to make up for it?" She had to grin to herself. She was asking this philosophical -and personal- question to a thriteen-year-old boy whom she didn't even really know?
To her surprise, Tenchi seemed ahead of his age. A lot. "I'd ask the person to forgive me. That does help sometimes, you know."
She closed her eyes. "Yes, but it's something never to be forgiven. His life his ruined and it's my fault." Here you go, she thought. Breaking your own barriers in a conversation with a boy.
"And you can't do anything to build up his life again?" Tenchi asked. He had no idea what she was talking about but didn't ask any questions. Again remarkable for his age.
She rolled her eyes. "Not if I want to stay alive."
Tenchi smiled and turned his face into the sun. "Well then, I guess it's a question of how high you esteem that person."
She sighed loudly and turned away to hide the expression on her face, full of emotion.
11.30 a.m.
The Centre
Blue Cove, Delaware
Jarod looked up from his laptop when hearing a loud scratch. Angelo? He threw a glance at the air vent, but it was empty.
The door to his room opened, and Sydney came in. Or rather, sneaked in. Jarod's eyes widened when he realized what Syd was up to.
Sydney put his finger to his lips and looked around. Jarod hadn't noticed the cameras go out, but they were now. Broots?
"Sydney, what...?" he asked with a questioning look on his face.
"I'm gonna get you out of here", Sydney whispered. "Come on." He dragged the Pretender with him up to the door.
Jarod shook his head wildly. "Sydney, stop! You're never gonna make it out of here safe."
Sydney turned to him and smiled wearily. "But you are. If we hurry up."
"But Syd-" They were walking down the corridor very fast, Jarod hesitatingly and Sydney pulling him along.
"Broots helped shut down the electricity", he continued whispering. "If everything worked out alright, he and Debbie are sitting in a plane right now. To the west."
Jarod's mind worked fast. He couldn't let this happen. He alone could have made it, but not Sydney, too. They would get him sooner or later.
Sydney knocked out a sweeper standing in front of a door. Jarod noticed Syd taking the man's gun, and a plan began to form in his head. Sydney wouldn't understand it, but that wasn't important. What was important was that Sydney came out this alive - and him, too, if it was possible.
When Sydney went into the room that would lead to a flight of stairs, Jarod stayed behind and pushed a button named LOCATION. It blinked in a continuous red.
Sydney turned to see what Jarod had done and stared at him with wide eyes. "Jarod, whatever did you do that for?"
Jarod took a step forward and reached into Syd's jacket, pulling out the gun. "It's not gonna work out this time", he said and aimed the gun at the wall, firing a shot. The sound echoed through the corridor.
Jarod heard fast steps run up the stairs, the sweepers had almost reached their position when he tossed the gun at Sydney. The elder man caught it and Jarod staggered backwards. Willie and another man came running up the stairs and saw Jarod slumped against the wall and Sydney holding a gun.
"Everything under control here?" Willie gasped and watched the motionless figure of Jarod.
Sydney looked at him, still completely irritated, and then nodded slightly.
12.20 p.m.
Tokio, Japan
Oniko looked up from her bowl of rice and gave her son a disapproving look. "Tenchi, how often must I tell you not to eat this loud."
"Sorry", Tenchi said with his mouth full of rice and earned another glare from his mother.
Oniko shook her head and sighed. "Did you ever plan to get children, Parker?"
Miss Parker raised her eyebrows and let out a short -as well disapproving- laugh. "I plan to never get children."
Oniko grinned. "Now, that's my stubborn Parker. I'm not trying to tell you children are but a plague - they are nice, if you teach them to be respectful." She shot Tenchi a deadly glare, which he returned with an impudent grin.
Parker shrugged. "Well, I don't seem to get along with children anyway, so..."
Oniko frowned. "Why's that? Forbid them everything and shout at them if they ask questions?"
She laughed. "Yeah, like that. But -and that's very astonishing- there's one girl who likes me. She... somehow broke through my shell, as you called it back in the days."
Oniko laughed as well. "I was the only female person to be allowed to talk to you. Though... you actually didn't use the male beings at the college for talking, but..."
"Oniko!" Parker shot her a killing look; then she motioned to Tenchi. "There are innocent children in here."
Tenchi grinned broadly. "There were." With that, he was gone.
Oniko sighed contentedly. "Don't I have an attentive son... no reason for you to hide anything now."
Parker rolled her eyes. "Hey, we discussed that back then. I was the sex hungry American, right?!"
Oniko started to laugh and Parker joined in. When the Japanese was breathing normally again, she grabbed Parker's arm and they sat down on the colored carpet in the living-room. "By the way, did you get as much attention from the American men?" Oniko queried, with a wink.
Parker rolled her eyes. "American men are boring."
"Well, Japanese are the better lovers, everybody knows that", Oniko retorted without batting an eyelid. "But is it really true?"
Parker sighed. "Stop beating round the bush, Oniko. You want to know something."
"Okay." Oniko shifted closer to her and looked inquiringly into her eyes. "I mentioned a man in your life two days ago and was met with a rebuff."
Her shoulders fell. Why did those people always hunt her down - was this fair? Not even she was able to maintain a shield around her emotions for long. "Look, if I didn't talk about that, I'll have had my reason, don't you think?"
Oniko shrugged. "I doubt the fact you don't wanna talk about it."
Parker laughed cynically. "Well, humans always wanna talk about everything, don't they? Don't you damned psychiatrists ever think it possible that there are persons who don't?!"
Oniko backed away, surprised. "It seems you're suffering from a trauma concerning psychiatrists."
"Oniko, just give me a break, will you?"
Her friend smiled. "Sorry. But... I do have the feeling that you still need somebody's advice in this."
Miss Parker shook her head and sighed, laying down on the carpet. Oniko sat next to her and looked down, a reassuring smile on her face. "Do you love him?"
She froze and closed her eyes. "Who knows? Maybe I do."
"And does he love you?"
Parker laughed, abruptly, bitterly. "Well, how could he? He doesn't even know what love is. Nobody ever taught him." She felt tears dwelling in her eyes. "Aside from that, I never gave him a reason to."
"Why?" Oniko's voice sounded from far away, echoing in Parker's mind and almost hypnotizing her.
"Because I'm supposed to hate him", she said and shook her head once more; trying to shake off all the truth that was penetrating her mind. "Because he's the person who ruined my life." She frowned, and after a while, said, "No, I'm lying to myself again."
Oniko smiled and put her hand on Parker's. "Isn't he a victim too, just the object that seems to be ruining your life?"
Parker sat up and opened her eyes. She tried to smile. "It's not as philosophical as you think. It's just... I made a mistake. My whole life is a mistake."
Oniko shook her head. "That's not true for anybody." After a moment of silence, she added: "Tenchi told me about your conversation yesterday."
Parker laughed. "I should have expected that. He tried to play the psychiatrist and I even ran into the trap."
"Well, he's not doing that bad after all", Oniko defended him. "He's right and you know it", she sang.
Miss Parker smiled at the sudden upcoming humor of Oniko's. "Okay. He's right. 'It's a question of how high I esteem that person', huh?"
Oniko looked down and smiled wryly. "That's unfortunately a thing psychiatrists can't control. But judging from your words and the way you said them..."
"I have a hopeless crush on him." Parker didn't try to hide the irony in her voice.
"Your lives are hopelessly bound up", Oniko corrected. "You can't escape those feelings by travelling some thousand miles, Parker."
Parker nodded. "So it's not 'out of sight, out of mind'?"
Oniko shook her head, smiling ruefully. "I'm afraid it isn't."
The following day
Today was her first day in the institute and she found out the people were really great to get along with. But there was something she missed, and it was because of Oniko's "open your mind"-session the night before that she could admit to herself: She missed Jarod. Not mentioning Sydney and even Broots.
But there was something she'd never realized in the USA while pursuing Jarod, a feeling that left her totally confused. Whether it was an 'after-effect' of their love at child age or a new, even deeper feeling that tied her to this man, she didn't know.
One thing was for sure: She would never be the same again.
Her handy dragged her out of her thoughts in the morning.
"Parker", she answered, surprising herself.
"What, no what?" Sydney asked ironically.
She smiled. "Changing life, changing habits."
"Ah."
"How are you Syd?" she asked, the concern in her voice obvious. But she didn't care.
"Comme ci, comme ca. And you?"
"Oh, I'm great. Sydney what's that in the last few days - getting back to your roots?"
"You mean the French comments?" He laughed. "Maybe your life changing influences me as well."
"Yeah, maybe." She wondered whether she should ask how Jarod was, but there was still too much arrogance in her it seemed. "How's the Centre doing? Still everything as dark and scary as before?"
Sydney made a contemptuous sound. "Still as unnerving as before. I'm calling from a phone booth because I have to tell you something. Is your handy safe?"
She frowned. Some conspirations again? Would they haunt her till she was dead? "I let it be debugged before I went. By Angelo."
"Angelo?" Sydney asked, suprised. "And he helped you?"
She shrugged. "He may be my brother."
"Well, that's a reason." Irony? Well, what did it matter. "So, what did you want to tell me?" she asked.
"I tried to free Jarod yesterday." She sat upright. "What?!"
Sydney laughed, somewhat sarcastically. "What did you expect, Parker?"
Yeah, what did I expect. Good question. It should have been clear to her that he'd try sooner or later. "And what happened?"
"Jarod stopped me. He put on the alarm and made it look like I'd stopped him in his try to get free."
Parker frowned and shook her head in confusion. "Well, he didn't want you to get hurt."
"Don't you understand, Parker, Jarod would have found a way. Without him or me getting hurt. He's planning something."
For a while she sat motionless, realizing what Sydney had just said. "Do you mean he wanted me to get him into the Centre?"
"That's what I'm saying."
"But, but Sydney", she stammered, unable to believe the truth.
"Parker, Jarod's a Pretender. He's even the best of all Pretenders. He went in and out of the Centre for several times now."
She rolled her eyes. "So the message is: Stand by, you might be called back to start hunting again."
"Mhm." They stayed silent. Then she couldn't stand it anymore. "Syd, how is Jarod right now?"
She was almost able to see his all-knowing smile. But she didn't care. "I guess he's quite okay. I thought he was lethargic first, but now..."
Miss Parker sighed and shook her head. Now she found out she had made this decision long before without knowing it. "It's no use. I'm coming back, Syd."
5 a.m.
Blue Cove, Delaware
Blue Cove Airport. How she loved it. She could almost smell the Centre here - she realized suddenly she had never seen anything of the town. She wondered if there was a town? Maybe the Centre formed it.
Her flight had been almost empty - no wonder at this time. She rubbed her eyes to get the sleep out of it.
She stepped into the hall slowly. Maybe she was trying to prolong the time before getting to the Centre again. The five or six persons from her flight had long since vanished when she sat down in a waiting-room and buried her face in her hands. She was tired and angry, so angry because of her fate that seemed unchangeable.
It was only some minutes later that she became aware of a person standing in front of her. She raised her head to see Jarod standing there, smiling at her. She was even too tired to search for her gun.
He sat down beside her. "How was life out there?" he asked, in a normal conversation tone.
She smiled. "Exciting."
He nodded. "My stay in the Centre encouraged me in running away even more."
Miss Parker nodded, too. "I can imagine it did." She turned her head to face him. "Did you like playing that game?"
Jarod frowned. "Not game. Call it... simulation."
She shrugged. "Whatever. I guess you achieved what you wanted. I'm here."
He smiled. "Only because Syd told you I was behaving suspect."
"Oh, I see", she seemed to be gradually regaining her sarcastic tone. "So the aim was to find out if Miss Parker could stand life without having the deep pleasure of running after Jarod to be failing anyway at the end."
"The question is if you would have come back without the call." Jarod rested his elbows on his knees and looked out of the window.
She nodded once more. "I guess we'll never find out."
They sat there, next to each other, remaining silent.
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