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Disclaimer: I'm on school holidays, completely broke and raiding a jar of 5 cent coins I have so as I can catch a bus to Chermside tomorrow, because I am so sick to death of watching the olympics (except Kathy Freeman and Ian Thorpe, go you guys!). Do I sound as though I own The Pretender? I don't think so.
Indecent Obsession
by Krystal McDermott
The first thing that strikes me is your beauty, your dark hair, your unbelievably blue eyes. You are more beautiful than I have ever imagined. For over thirty years I have been waiting for this moment, just to be able to see you, to hear your sweet voice beside me rather than just echoing through my mind while I sat in my prison.
I have reached out to you, but you just push me aside with a sarcastic remark. I know better than to take it to heart though. That is your way, that is how you deal with your pain. I understand, I have had to deal with pain to. We are alike, you and I. We are the same. We both hide in the dark, we hide from shadows that haunt us.......people. We try to hurt others before they hurt us, to protect ourselves from more pain. I would never hurt you.
I often travel the dark, twisting road alone. Alone I unlock my front door and alone I pour myself a drink and try to wash away the nightmares that haunt me with alcohol. You do same. You are always alone too, I can feel it. I can feel the tears as they stain your cheeks.........as they stain mine. I want to go to you, to hold you to take away the pain, but I know that you would just cast me aside. You would throw me out in the cold like you do to all those who try to help you. I know, because I do the same.
You begin to reflect upon your life, your family. I can see the pictures, they flood my mind. Our mother, a lady you loved more than words could ever express, but she left you, she hurt you. You don't need her, I would never hurt you. Our father, he tortures your soul, he abuses your trust and plays with your love. Forget about him, I'll take care of him for you, like I took care of my father. Finally Jarod. He plays with your emotions, manipulates your mind and abuses your past. Yet still you care for him. Why? You don't need him. He hurts you. Why do you love him? You should love me. We are the same. I understand you, he doesn't. He is not like us.
I know it's wrong for me to love you but, we are of the same flesh and blood. We are intertwined, one and the same. Why can't you see that? The only man you care about is Jarod. You think about him twenty four hours a day, while my mind is constantly filled with thoughts about you. The way you absently play with the square silver ring on your left index finger whenever you feel alone. The sound of your stiletto heels as they echo throughout the Centre corridors. The way your hair dances about your face as you violently cast aside the doors to my office. The way your blue eyes dance with menace whenever I am near.
Do you remember that day in my office, when you confronted me about Thong and those Asian women? That was the first time I had ever seen fear in your eyes. I edged towards you and you backed away, that angered me. I wanted nothing more than to hurt you. Those women feared me too and at that moment you were just like them. Brave and tough while there was an audience around but, as soon as we were alone, as soon as you saw me, you were frightened. I wanted to hurt you but, I couldn't. I realised that it was Jarod who made you so frightened of me, who made you loathe me. I couldn't be mad. I understand. Jarod has tried to get inside your mind, to manipulate you so as he can have you for himself, so as he can control you. I know because my father tried to do the same to me but, together you and I we can overcome our demons.
I know you have been defying Centre protocol when it comes to Jarod. I watch you constantly. I have every one of the conversations you have had with Jarod on tape. I saw you with him at the bar after Thomas died, and then again at the car yard. I saw you together at the cemetery and I know that he was at your house the night before the 7477 explosion. I think you know I'm watching you and you do these things just to taunt me. To make me jealous but, I see the tears in your eyes now and I can not help but wonder if you truly do care for Jarod.
The desperation that was in your voice tears at my heart and I have to surrender to your request. Gently I lay you within his arms. I rest your head against his chest and wrap your hand within his. I place two fingers upon your lips and then upon his, your last and final kiss. I vow the man who did this will pay for his mistake. I wanted to hurt Jarod, to make him feel the pain that I do, to make him regret ever falling in love with you, regret taking your heart away from me but, the truth is I could never bring myself to do it. He made a part of you happy, he was your salvation and I could never take that away from you. My salty tears mix with your crimson blood and I know his fate is sealed. He is watching me now as I lay you both to rest in each others arms. The hunted and the huntress finally together, killed by the same bullet. It entered his back, pierced his heart and then pierced yours. The memory of you collapsing on the grass is etched in my mind. I can still see the tears as they glisten on your cheeks, and I can hear you whisper to me, as I gently stroke your hair and will you to hold on. He will pay.
I feel his hand as he rests it on my shoulder, commanding me to get up and be a man. The rage, the bitter aching within me takes over and he barely has time to blink before he two is resting at my feet. I carry him away from where you both lay. He will not disturb your peace. Sweet dreams Daddy.
feedback at : little_miss_krystal@hotmail.com
by Krystal McDermott
The first thing that strikes me is your beauty, your dark hair, your unbelievably blue eyes. You are more beautiful than I have ever imagined. For over thirty years I have been waiting for this moment, just to be able to see you, to hear your sweet voice beside me rather than just echoing through my mind while I sat in my prison.
I have reached out to you, but you just push me aside with a sarcastic remark. I know better than to take it to heart though. That is your way, that is how you deal with your pain. I understand, I have had to deal with pain to. We are alike, you and I. We are the same. We both hide in the dark, we hide from shadows that haunt us.......people. We try to hurt others before they hurt us, to protect ourselves from more pain. I would never hurt you.
I often travel the dark, twisting road alone. Alone I unlock my front door and alone I pour myself a drink and try to wash away the nightmares that haunt me with alcohol. You do same. You are always alone too, I can feel it. I can feel the tears as they stain your cheeks.........as they stain mine. I want to go to you, to hold you to take away the pain, but I know that you would just cast me aside. You would throw me out in the cold like you do to all those who try to help you. I know, because I do the same.
You begin to reflect upon your life, your family. I can see the pictures, they flood my mind. Our mother, a lady you loved more than words could ever express, but she left you, she hurt you. You don't need her, I would never hurt you. Our father, he tortures your soul, he abuses your trust and plays with your love. Forget about him, I'll take care of him for you, like I took care of my father. Finally Jarod. He plays with your emotions, manipulates your mind and abuses your past. Yet still you care for him. Why? You don't need him. He hurts you. Why do you love him? You should love me. We are the same. I understand you, he doesn't. He is not like us.
I know it's wrong for me to love you but, we are of the same flesh and blood. We are intertwined, one and the same. Why can't you see that? The only man you care about is Jarod. You think about him twenty four hours a day, while my mind is constantly filled with thoughts about you. The way you absently play with the square silver ring on your left index finger whenever you feel alone. The sound of your stiletto heels as they echo throughout the Centre corridors. The way your hair dances about your face as you violently cast aside the doors to my office. The way your blue eyes dance with menace whenever I am near.
Do you remember that day in my office, when you confronted me about Thong and those Asian women? That was the first time I had ever seen fear in your eyes. I edged towards you and you backed away, that angered me. I wanted nothing more than to hurt you. Those women feared me too and at that moment you were just like them. Brave and tough while there was an audience around but, as soon as we were alone, as soon as you saw me, you were frightened. I wanted to hurt you but, I couldn't. I realised that it was Jarod who made you so frightened of me, who made you loathe me. I couldn't be mad. I understand. Jarod has tried to get inside your mind, to manipulate you so as he can have you for himself, so as he can control you. I know because my father tried to do the same to me but, together you and I we can overcome our demons.
I know you have been defying Centre protocol when it comes to Jarod. I watch you constantly. I have every one of the conversations you have had with Jarod on tape. I saw you with him at the bar after Thomas died, and then again at the car yard. I saw you together at the cemetery and I know that he was at your house the night before the 7477 explosion. I think you know I'm watching you and you do these things just to taunt me. To make me jealous but, I see the tears in your eyes now and I can not help but wonder if you truly do care for Jarod.
The desperation that was in your voice tears at my heart and I have to surrender to your request. Gently I lay you within his arms. I rest your head against his chest and wrap your hand within his. I place two fingers upon your lips and then upon his, your last and final kiss. I vow the man who did this will pay for his mistake. I wanted to hurt Jarod, to make him feel the pain that I do, to make him regret ever falling in love with you, regret taking your heart away from me but, the truth is I could never bring myself to do it. He made a part of you happy, he was your salvation and I could never take that away from you. My salty tears mix with your crimson blood and I know his fate is sealed. He is watching me now as I lay you both to rest in each others arms. The hunted and the huntress finally together, killed by the same bullet. It entered his back, pierced his heart and then pierced yours. The memory of you collapsing on the grass is etched in my mind. I can still see the tears as they glisten on your cheeks, and I can hear you whisper to me, as I gently stroke your hair and will you to hold on. He will pay.
I feel his hand as he rests it on my shoulder, commanding me to get up and be a man. The rage, the bitter aching within me takes over and he barely has time to blink before he two is resting at my feet. I carry him away from where you both lay. He will not disturb your peace. Sweet dreams Daddy.
feedback at : little_miss_krystal@hotmail.com
