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Chapter or Story 
Chapter or Story
Jarod's face grew hard and he looked at her with an expression of hurt and confusion.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I only found out after you had taken Catie away." she said.
"What about all those phone conversations?" he said referring to the times she had called him in order to discuss Catie's well being and they had talked well into the night. "Why didn't you tell me then?"
"It is not exactly something you blurt out over the phone, Jarod!" She said angrily, upset that he still held her captive.
"What else?" Jarod said, instinctively knowing there was more.
"I was...afraid." she said still trying to pull out of his grip.
"Afraid? Of what? That I would hurt her?" Jarod asked incredulously.
"Of course not!" Miss Parker said shocked he would even think that of her, even after all the anger and hurt that was between them..
"I was afraid that you wouldn't bring her back to me." Miss Parker said truthfully and looked up into his eyes. The pain and the silent plea in her eyes made his hear skip a beat and he forced himself to listen to her.
"Now that you know, you can't take her away from me. I won't let you. They took away the one person I loved most in the world once and I won't let you do the same." She said fiercely, her mouth slimming into a line of determination on her angry face.
"I could never take Catie away from you. I saw how she was when we were hiding and waiting for you. She missed you so much, she cried every night and a few times even I couldn't calm her down. I had to give her a child's sedative." Jarod told her and brushed an escaped tear away from her cheek.
Miss Parker searched his face for any sign of deception and when she found none she released the breath she didn't even know she had been holding. Again she tried to slip away to go into her bedroom, but again he held tight to her arm. She looked at him in confusion and what she saw in his eyes took her breath away. It was raw desire and she felt the warmth in her body spread again and lick at her insides.
"It's a shame, isn't it?" Jarod asked her looking into her eyes. Miss Parker shook her head slightly, telling him that she didn't understand.
"That they didn't let us make Catie the old fashioned way." he continued. Miss Parker caught his meaning and he watched her eyes widen. Without giving her time to realize what was going on, he scooped her up into his arms and carried her into her bedroom. After Jarod shut the door and carefully deposited her on the bed, she gently pushed him away.
"Jarod, we can't. Don't do this." she said looking hard into his eyes.
"Don't tell me you don't want this." Jarod said running his hand down her front and hearing her breath suck in sharply. "Go ahead. Tell me that when we are together you don't feel it. What people call 'chemistry'."
All the while he was tracing his finger up and down the valley between her breasts. His touch was hard enough that she felt it, but light enough that she wanted more. A lot more than she cared to admit, especially to herself.
"Jarod..." Miss Parker got out in a ragged breath. She was going to tell him to stop, knowing that he would if she even sounded like she was thinking the word. She even knew that he wouldn't hold it against her. The only problem was she didn't want to say no. Without any more hesitation she made up her mind.
"Catie...might...hear us." she breathed out in pants.
"No, she won't." Jarod assured her. "I was a child psychologist once. I know for a fact that she will sleep a good 12 hours without even stirring after a exciting series events like today."
He looked down on the bed to see Miss Parker staring up at him with an unreadable expression.
"What?" he asked.
"Get over here or so help me God, I'll get my gun." She demanded half- serious.
He laughed and then came at her again with a playful grin, "That could be fun."
Clothes were shed as were inhibitions that had kept them apart outside of their obvious circumstances. The pleasure of the following closeness between them could never be described, except maybe as close to heaven as two people could ever get.
When they both finally came back to earth, he felt tears on his chest where she was huddled against him.
"What? What is wrong? Parker, please, what's the matter?" he asked her smoothing her hair away from her face.
"I am so sorry. For everything. But especially for Catie." she said muffling her words by keeping her head tucked under his chin.
"Aww, shhh. Don't cry. It is okay. I understand. Really, I do. Just promise me one thing, okay?" he said rocking her gently in his arms. He felt her nod and continued. "Let's tell her tomorrow, in case I have to go."
Miss Parker looked up sharply and her eyes glared him.
"We'll tell her tomorrow, but don't say anything like that again." she asked him, her eyes bright in the moon's glow.
"I won't. I promise." he said and he felt her shift so that her back was to his chest and she was spooned up into his body. He crossed his arms in front of her and she covered them with her own. They both relaxed and succumbed to the peace and sated state of their bodies, falling asleep simultaneously. **********************************************************************
Miss Parker slept without dreaming and awoke to find herself entangled with Jarod. She lay in his arms and their lower ends were a mass of legs and feet. For a moment she couldn't tell where she left of and he began. After untangling herself, she propped herself up on her elbow and studied him in the early morning light.
The beautiful angles of his face were blurred by the growth of an overnight beard, his dark lashes long against his cheeks, his tousled hair going in all directions on his head. She tucked the image of him sleeping in the section of her heart, she kept for the long and lonely days she knew had to come. They always did, when she gave her heart away. It was better to prepare now, then let herself be hurt again.
She slid from the bed, soundlessly. Her body, tender in places she had almost forgotten existed, and her heart encouraged her to slip back into bed and continue where they left off last night. But in the light of the early morning, Miss Parker could think straight and she headed for the shower. After she turned off the pulsing water, she toweled off her body and her hair, then hurriedly got dressed in a light blue T-shirt and a pair of denim cutoffs, still resisting the temptation of climbing right back in bed with Jarod. Not bothering to blow-dry her hair, she piled it up in a clip and ignored the few tendrils that escaped and hung down the back of her neck. She went into the kitchen and started brewing a pot of coffee and glanced at the clock. She knew from experience and from what Jarod had said last night that Catie would be up within an hour and so Miss Parker took out the ingredients for pancakes. She heard a movement behind her and turned to see Jarod standing in the kitchen doorway.
"Morning," he said leaning against the door frame looking more handsome than he had the right to in a pair of jeans and an unbuttoned green men's work shirt. "Sleep well?"
Her heart rebelled, knowing that it was only a matter of days, maybe even hours before he had to run out the door. Tell him, her conscience prompted her. Tell him to leave now while your heart is still in one piece instead of breaking it into a million little ones when he does actually go. But she wouldn't, she couldn't. Selfishly she craved more memories to store away in that little section her heart and she knew that she would do anything to keep him with her and Catie as long as possible.
"I slept fine. You?" she said smiling over the carton of milk she carried to the counter.
"Like a baby. I could get used to that," he said coming into the kitchen and standing behind her.
So could I. Miss Parker bit her lip, holding back the words. She wouldn't let herself care. She couldn't afford to. Not with all the promises she wanted him to make and the promises she knew he couldn't keep. Ones they both couldn't keep. She shifted away from him and moved over to the window to look out at the wide creek that surrounded the cabin. He placed his hands on her shoulders and looked out with her. She shrugged his hands off and turned to move away again. But this time he caught her and held her fast, just like the night before.
"What's going on here?" Jarod asked impatiently.
"Nothing. I don't know what you mean." She answered him, but refused to meet his eyes.
"What do you mean, nothing? What's with the cold shoulder?" he insisted.
"I don't know what you're talking about." she said and again made a move to get away from him.
Once more he held her fast and made her stay where she was. "After last night, what is this?"
"What was so special about last night?" she asked hating herself for it, but continued anyway. "It was fun, but it was a mistake. Enough said."
"That's a lie!" he said angrily. He forced her to meet his gaze and saw why she had refused to look at him. Tears were shining in her eyes and her lip was trembling. "Parker, what is the matter? I care about you, please tell me what is wrong?"
"I know you care about me Jarod, that's the problem. I can't care about you," she said.
"What are you talking about?" he asked confused.
"You said you could get used to us and the truth is so could I, but it is only a matter of days before you have to leave again. Then I go back to chasing you for my freedom and to rid you of yours and I can't do that, feeling the way I feel right now. I can't!" she said letting it all out in one explanation.
"Geez, Parker." he gathered her into his arms and felt her arms encircle his waist. "Don't you know, that as soon as I find my family we can start a new life? I will find us someplace to be where the Centre could never find us and then you, Catie, and I can be together forever. Don't you realize that is all I want? For us to be together. It is all I ever wanted."
Damn the Centre, damn her father, damn Raines, and damn her too cautious brain. She was going to have "happily ever after" even if only for a few days, Miss Parker thought, and hugged Jarod's waist even harder and pressed her face into his chest, breathing him in deep.
Jarod held her tightly against his chest and he heard the faint rumble of thunder in the distance. "It's going to rain again. I hope Broots and Sydney know not to try and come up."
"They know." Miss Parker said her head still resting on his shoulder. "If not, I am sure one of them will call."
As if on cue, the phone in the living room rang. Miss Parker made a move towards it and waited until the answering machine picked up. "Parker, it's Syd. It's okay. Pick up the phone."
"Hey, Syd."
"Parker listen, there is supposed to be a really bad storm headed your way so I don't think we should try and make it up there. Especially since Debbie says that if I'm going so are she and Broots."
"She is stubborn, isn't she?" Parker said laughing.
"Yeah, I think maybe she is around you too much." Syd shot back jokingly.
"Don't worry, Syd. We'll be fine. And before you lecture me, I will make sure the house is locked up tight." Miss Parker and Sydney said their good-byes and she hung up the phone.
"There is a major storm headed our way and Syd says to lock the window and doors and use the shutters too." Miss Parker said turning to face Jarod.
"I'll go do that, if you make those pancakes I interrupted." Jarod said moving to let her back into the kitchen.
"Oh, sure. You get to lock a few lousy windows and I have to make breakfast for three. Two of whom, eat like there is no tomorrow." Miss Parker said picking up the dishtowel to wipe up a spill on the counter.
"Just get in there and make my breakfast, woman!" Jarod jokingly told her in a Neanderthal tone. He ducked out of the kitchen just in time to escape the dishtowel that hit the door fame where he was standing. Miss Parker heard him laughing all the way upstairs to close those windows. She had just finished mixing the pancake batter when she heard a noise behind her. She turned just in time to have a tiny body fling itself at her.
"Morning, Mommy." Catie said lifting her face from where it had been buried in Miss Parker's stomach.
"Morning, Baby." Miss Parker said giving her daughter a squeeze. "Why don't you help Mama by setting the table, okay?"
She handed Catie three plates and turned her in the direction of the table.
"Where's Jarod?" Catie asked placing the plates down at the appropriate chair. As another bout of thunder rumbled, obviously getting closer for it had gotten louder, Miss Parker looked down to her left at Catie who was waiting patiently for the cups and silverware.
"He went to go shutter the windows. There is a storm coming and Jarod is making sure that we will be safe."
"Oh, okay. Are Uncle Sydney, Uncle Broots and Debbie coming over?" Catie asked as she took the cups, with the silverware in them, over to the table.
"No, we don't want them getting hurt in the storm so they are going to try and come over tomorrow instead." Miss Parker explained as she drizzled the first three pancakes onto the griddle.
"All right. I guess that's okay." Catie said sighing heavily and Miss Parker had to suppress a smile at the dramatically despondent tone.
"I got all the windows and I locked the doors. Since there is a damp chill in the air I brought in some firewood just in case. I know it is summer, but the storms up in the mountains can make it feel pretty cold." Jarod's voice floated in from the den moments before he appeared in the kitchen doorway.
"Jarod!" Catie jumped up from her chair and raced over to give him a hug.
"Catie-Bug! You slept a pretty long time you know?" Jarod said swinging the giggling child up into his arms and settling her onto his shoulders.
"Hi, Mama!" Catie called from her perch. Miss Parker looked up briefly and waved.
"I guess you guys don't want any pancakes, huh? Oh well, I will have to eat them all by myself." Miss Parker said feigning putting all of the pancakes onto her plate.
"No!" Catie cried and wiggled to get down and ran over to her plate. "I want three blueberry."
"Well, I don't know..." Miss Parker said looking up at Jarod and winking.
"Please, Mama?" Catie pleaded and began to pout. Miss Parker laughed along with Jarod and placed the three pancakes onto Catie's plate. As soon as Miss Parker had finished cutting her pancakes, Catie was attacking them with the syrup and her fork.
"Catherine, what do you say?" Miss Parker scolded gently as she watched Catie shovel more of the syrup-covered, fluffy pancakes into her already full mouth.
"Fank oo!" the girl said and kept on eating. Miss Parker and Jarod shook their heads and began to eat their breakfast as well. Miss Parker looked up and met Jarod's gaze. She nodded and he nodded back, understanding what she was telling him. After breakfast they would tell Catie. They would tell their daughter who Jarod was and he never felt more scared in his entire life.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I only found out after you had taken Catie away." she said.
"What about all those phone conversations?" he said referring to the times she had called him in order to discuss Catie's well being and they had talked well into the night. "Why didn't you tell me then?"
"It is not exactly something you blurt out over the phone, Jarod!" She said angrily, upset that he still held her captive.
"What else?" Jarod said, instinctively knowing there was more.
"I was...afraid." she said still trying to pull out of his grip.
"Afraid? Of what? That I would hurt her?" Jarod asked incredulously.
"Of course not!" Miss Parker said shocked he would even think that of her, even after all the anger and hurt that was between them..
"I was afraid that you wouldn't bring her back to me." Miss Parker said truthfully and looked up into his eyes. The pain and the silent plea in her eyes made his hear skip a beat and he forced himself to listen to her.
"Now that you know, you can't take her away from me. I won't let you. They took away the one person I loved most in the world once and I won't let you do the same." She said fiercely, her mouth slimming into a line of determination on her angry face.
"I could never take Catie away from you. I saw how she was when we were hiding and waiting for you. She missed you so much, she cried every night and a few times even I couldn't calm her down. I had to give her a child's sedative." Jarod told her and brushed an escaped tear away from her cheek.
Miss Parker searched his face for any sign of deception and when she found none she released the breath she didn't even know she had been holding. Again she tried to slip away to go into her bedroom, but again he held tight to her arm. She looked at him in confusion and what she saw in his eyes took her breath away. It was raw desire and she felt the warmth in her body spread again and lick at her insides.
"It's a shame, isn't it?" Jarod asked her looking into her eyes. Miss Parker shook her head slightly, telling him that she didn't understand.
"That they didn't let us make Catie the old fashioned way." he continued. Miss Parker caught his meaning and he watched her eyes widen. Without giving her time to realize what was going on, he scooped her up into his arms and carried her into her bedroom. After Jarod shut the door and carefully deposited her on the bed, she gently pushed him away.
"Jarod, we can't. Don't do this." she said looking hard into his eyes.
"Don't tell me you don't want this." Jarod said running his hand down her front and hearing her breath suck in sharply. "Go ahead. Tell me that when we are together you don't feel it. What people call 'chemistry'."
All the while he was tracing his finger up and down the valley between her breasts. His touch was hard enough that she felt it, but light enough that she wanted more. A lot more than she cared to admit, especially to herself.
"Jarod..." Miss Parker got out in a ragged breath. She was going to tell him to stop, knowing that he would if she even sounded like she was thinking the word. She even knew that he wouldn't hold it against her. The only problem was she didn't want to say no. Without any more hesitation she made up her mind.
"Catie...might...hear us." she breathed out in pants.
"No, she won't." Jarod assured her. "I was a child psychologist once. I know for a fact that she will sleep a good 12 hours without even stirring after a exciting series events like today."
He looked down on the bed to see Miss Parker staring up at him with an unreadable expression.
"What?" he asked.
"Get over here or so help me God, I'll get my gun." She demanded half- serious.
He laughed and then came at her again with a playful grin, "That could be fun."
Clothes were shed as were inhibitions that had kept them apart outside of their obvious circumstances. The pleasure of the following closeness between them could never be described, except maybe as close to heaven as two people could ever get.
When they both finally came back to earth, he felt tears on his chest where she was huddled against him.
"What? What is wrong? Parker, please, what's the matter?" he asked her smoothing her hair away from her face.
"I am so sorry. For everything. But especially for Catie." she said muffling her words by keeping her head tucked under his chin.
"Aww, shhh. Don't cry. It is okay. I understand. Really, I do. Just promise me one thing, okay?" he said rocking her gently in his arms. He felt her nod and continued. "Let's tell her tomorrow, in case I have to go."
Miss Parker looked up sharply and her eyes glared him.
"We'll tell her tomorrow, but don't say anything like that again." she asked him, her eyes bright in the moon's glow.
"I won't. I promise." he said and he felt her shift so that her back was to his chest and she was spooned up into his body. He crossed his arms in front of her and she covered them with her own. They both relaxed and succumbed to the peace and sated state of their bodies, falling asleep simultaneously. **********************************************************************
Miss Parker slept without dreaming and awoke to find herself entangled with Jarod. She lay in his arms and their lower ends were a mass of legs and feet. For a moment she couldn't tell where she left of and he began. After untangling herself, she propped herself up on her elbow and studied him in the early morning light.
The beautiful angles of his face were blurred by the growth of an overnight beard, his dark lashes long against his cheeks, his tousled hair going in all directions on his head. She tucked the image of him sleeping in the section of her heart, she kept for the long and lonely days she knew had to come. They always did, when she gave her heart away. It was better to prepare now, then let herself be hurt again.
She slid from the bed, soundlessly. Her body, tender in places she had almost forgotten existed, and her heart encouraged her to slip back into bed and continue where they left off last night. But in the light of the early morning, Miss Parker could think straight and she headed for the shower. After she turned off the pulsing water, she toweled off her body and her hair, then hurriedly got dressed in a light blue T-shirt and a pair of denim cutoffs, still resisting the temptation of climbing right back in bed with Jarod. Not bothering to blow-dry her hair, she piled it up in a clip and ignored the few tendrils that escaped and hung down the back of her neck. She went into the kitchen and started brewing a pot of coffee and glanced at the clock. She knew from experience and from what Jarod had said last night that Catie would be up within an hour and so Miss Parker took out the ingredients for pancakes. She heard a movement behind her and turned to see Jarod standing in the kitchen doorway.
"Morning," he said leaning against the door frame looking more handsome than he had the right to in a pair of jeans and an unbuttoned green men's work shirt. "Sleep well?"
Her heart rebelled, knowing that it was only a matter of days, maybe even hours before he had to run out the door. Tell him, her conscience prompted her. Tell him to leave now while your heart is still in one piece instead of breaking it into a million little ones when he does actually go. But she wouldn't, she couldn't. Selfishly she craved more memories to store away in that little section her heart and she knew that she would do anything to keep him with her and Catie as long as possible.
"I slept fine. You?" she said smiling over the carton of milk she carried to the counter.
"Like a baby. I could get used to that," he said coming into the kitchen and standing behind her.
So could I. Miss Parker bit her lip, holding back the words. She wouldn't let herself care. She couldn't afford to. Not with all the promises she wanted him to make and the promises she knew he couldn't keep. Ones they both couldn't keep. She shifted away from him and moved over to the window to look out at the wide creek that surrounded the cabin. He placed his hands on her shoulders and looked out with her. She shrugged his hands off and turned to move away again. But this time he caught her and held her fast, just like the night before.
"What's going on here?" Jarod asked impatiently.
"Nothing. I don't know what you mean." She answered him, but refused to meet his eyes.
"What do you mean, nothing? What's with the cold shoulder?" he insisted.
"I don't know what you're talking about." she said and again made a move to get away from him.
Once more he held her fast and made her stay where she was. "After last night, what is this?"
"What was so special about last night?" she asked hating herself for it, but continued anyway. "It was fun, but it was a mistake. Enough said."
"That's a lie!" he said angrily. He forced her to meet his gaze and saw why she had refused to look at him. Tears were shining in her eyes and her lip was trembling. "Parker, what is the matter? I care about you, please tell me what is wrong?"
"I know you care about me Jarod, that's the problem. I can't care about you," she said.
"What are you talking about?" he asked confused.
"You said you could get used to us and the truth is so could I, but it is only a matter of days before you have to leave again. Then I go back to chasing you for my freedom and to rid you of yours and I can't do that, feeling the way I feel right now. I can't!" she said letting it all out in one explanation.
"Geez, Parker." he gathered her into his arms and felt her arms encircle his waist. "Don't you know, that as soon as I find my family we can start a new life? I will find us someplace to be where the Centre could never find us and then you, Catie, and I can be together forever. Don't you realize that is all I want? For us to be together. It is all I ever wanted."
Damn the Centre, damn her father, damn Raines, and damn her too cautious brain. She was going to have "happily ever after" even if only for a few days, Miss Parker thought, and hugged Jarod's waist even harder and pressed her face into his chest, breathing him in deep.
Jarod held her tightly against his chest and he heard the faint rumble of thunder in the distance. "It's going to rain again. I hope Broots and Sydney know not to try and come up."
"They know." Miss Parker said her head still resting on his shoulder. "If not, I am sure one of them will call."
As if on cue, the phone in the living room rang. Miss Parker made a move towards it and waited until the answering machine picked up. "Parker, it's Syd. It's okay. Pick up the phone."
"Hey, Syd."
"Parker listen, there is supposed to be a really bad storm headed your way so I don't think we should try and make it up there. Especially since Debbie says that if I'm going so are she and Broots."
"She is stubborn, isn't she?" Parker said laughing.
"Yeah, I think maybe she is around you too much." Syd shot back jokingly.
"Don't worry, Syd. We'll be fine. And before you lecture me, I will make sure the house is locked up tight." Miss Parker and Sydney said their good-byes and she hung up the phone.
"There is a major storm headed our way and Syd says to lock the window and doors and use the shutters too." Miss Parker said turning to face Jarod.
"I'll go do that, if you make those pancakes I interrupted." Jarod said moving to let her back into the kitchen.
"Oh, sure. You get to lock a few lousy windows and I have to make breakfast for three. Two of whom, eat like there is no tomorrow." Miss Parker said picking up the dishtowel to wipe up a spill on the counter.
"Just get in there and make my breakfast, woman!" Jarod jokingly told her in a Neanderthal tone. He ducked out of the kitchen just in time to escape the dishtowel that hit the door fame where he was standing. Miss Parker heard him laughing all the way upstairs to close those windows. She had just finished mixing the pancake batter when she heard a noise behind her. She turned just in time to have a tiny body fling itself at her.
"Morning, Mommy." Catie said lifting her face from where it had been buried in Miss Parker's stomach.
"Morning, Baby." Miss Parker said giving her daughter a squeeze. "Why don't you help Mama by setting the table, okay?"
She handed Catie three plates and turned her in the direction of the table.
"Where's Jarod?" Catie asked placing the plates down at the appropriate chair. As another bout of thunder rumbled, obviously getting closer for it had gotten louder, Miss Parker looked down to her left at Catie who was waiting patiently for the cups and silverware.
"He went to go shutter the windows. There is a storm coming and Jarod is making sure that we will be safe."
"Oh, okay. Are Uncle Sydney, Uncle Broots and Debbie coming over?" Catie asked as she took the cups, with the silverware in them, over to the table.
"No, we don't want them getting hurt in the storm so they are going to try and come over tomorrow instead." Miss Parker explained as she drizzled the first three pancakes onto the griddle.
"All right. I guess that's okay." Catie said sighing heavily and Miss Parker had to suppress a smile at the dramatically despondent tone.
"I got all the windows and I locked the doors. Since there is a damp chill in the air I brought in some firewood just in case. I know it is summer, but the storms up in the mountains can make it feel pretty cold." Jarod's voice floated in from the den moments before he appeared in the kitchen doorway.
"Jarod!" Catie jumped up from her chair and raced over to give him a hug.
"Catie-Bug! You slept a pretty long time you know?" Jarod said swinging the giggling child up into his arms and settling her onto his shoulders.
"Hi, Mama!" Catie called from her perch. Miss Parker looked up briefly and waved.
"I guess you guys don't want any pancakes, huh? Oh well, I will have to eat them all by myself." Miss Parker said feigning putting all of the pancakes onto her plate.
"No!" Catie cried and wiggled to get down and ran over to her plate. "I want three blueberry."
"Well, I don't know..." Miss Parker said looking up at Jarod and winking.
"Please, Mama?" Catie pleaded and began to pout. Miss Parker laughed along with Jarod and placed the three pancakes onto Catie's plate. As soon as Miss Parker had finished cutting her pancakes, Catie was attacking them with the syrup and her fork.
"Catherine, what do you say?" Miss Parker scolded gently as she watched Catie shovel more of the syrup-covered, fluffy pancakes into her already full mouth.
"Fank oo!" the girl said and kept on eating. Miss Parker and Jarod shook their heads and began to eat their breakfast as well. Miss Parker looked up and met Jarod's gaze. She nodded and he nodded back, understanding what she was telling him. After breakfast they would tell Catie. They would tell their daughter who Jarod was and he never felt more scared in his entire life.
