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Parker had finally finished her ever so boring needlepoint class and had gone in search of the new boy. A little birdie had told her he was in Sydney's library and Parker knew she was forbidden to go in there. Only Sydney, her twin and her father were permitted in there, Jarod also now, she never was though and it was most likely because she was a girl. As Sydney had said to her numerous times before, he didn’t want to fill her pretty head with these things. So she found Sydney instead and smiled up at him innocently.
"And to what do I owe the honour of this visit Milady?” Sydney asked her, knowing what she would be wanting. She must have been waiting for him, knowing he was ensconced in the library.
"Can I go see the boy Sydney? He is in your library and I can't go in without you. So please come along to the library." Parker told him, taking his hand to try and pull him back in the right direction. Parker hoped if she told him he had to take her, that he would so she could see the new boy.
"Why the interest in this boy Milady? He is only a serf, far beneath your station.” Sydney said, not moving. She was far too smart and inquisitive for her own good and it was going to get her in trouble, of that he was certain.
"He talks.” She whispered, "He looked upset and scared, he would be fun to play with. Bobby isn't much fun, too interested in his studies and being father's heir.” She sulked unhappily. Parker would give anything for her brother to be interested in playing with her, being a kid with her, but she knew he didn’t want that. He wanted to be a grown up right now to do all the things her father does.
“Of course he talks,” Sydney said, not entirely sure what she meant by that. He didn’t think she had a clue just how uninterested her brother was in his studies. If he had his way he would be all grown up and running his father's forces conquering the world. Young Lord Lyle was an ambitious one and he often wondered just what Raines was teaching him sometimes.
“No, I mean he talks," Parker said again, still tugging his hand. Unlike every one else, Jarod did not speak to her like she was just a girl and shouldn’t have important things said to her, he didn’t speak like she was of noble blood and just say yes Milady, no Milady to her every word. "Can we go see him please?"
“Not now, I am sure your father wouldn't approve of this and he is just settling in.” Sydney told her, wondering why she was so surprised by the fact that he could talk. She seemed always to find her way into trouble and places where she wasn’t supposed to be.
"Then more reason for him to get used to me now while he is settling in." Parker explained. If he wouldn't take her, she would get in there herself. She had lived here her whole life, she knew all the secret ways in and out. Parker wondered if they knew that, if they were even away she knew all about the secret passages, if they knew about them.
"What is it that is so fascinating about him?” Sydney asked her, seeing her determination. Perhaps he should let her and then her father would put a stop to it quickly enough and she would stop bothering him.
"He is different." Parker whispered, as if it were a big secret. "He could by my friend. I don't have any friends.” She had her 'friends' who attended the balls and sucked up to her father, but they weren't really her friends, their parents just made them play with her.
"I don't think your father would approve of that Milady,” Sydney said gently, crouching down in front of her. "This boy will be very busy with much work to do and probably no time for play.” He wondered though if she knew more than she was letting on. When she had said he was different , it had sent a shiver down his spine. Surely she couldn’t know just how special and different he really was.
Parker looked at him with wide ice blue eyes, sadness and loneliness shinning in them. "Please?” She whispered pleadingly. "He doesn't have to know. Just our secret. Please Sydney? I need a friend, I want a friend." Parker begged him shamelessly, desperate to have one real friend, someone she could talk to no matter what their social rank was or their sex was. One person she could hug if she was upset, one person she could talk to about her problems, one person that cared for her just because she was her and not because her father was rich.
"It is very hard for you here isn't it?” He asked her gently. Her family had everything they could ever want, all the wealth and power and yet she was so lonely. None of that money could buy her what she yearned for.
She nodded a little, looking down at the ground. "I have no one to play with. Father wants me to be a lady, I just want to play. I don't even want to learn stupid needlepoint, I want to learn mathematics and Latin like Bobby, Bobby won't even play with me." Parker looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "I want my mother, I want hugs and kisses and father won't give them to me."
Sydney grabbed his kerchief and wiped her tears away gently. "Come on then, just this once and I don't want you to interfere with his duties, understood?"
“Yes sir," Parker agreed easily, holding onto his hand so he couldn't stand up yet. Reaching over, she gave him a kiss to thank him. Sometimes, when she was alone in her big bed, in her bedroom that was much larger than she needed or wanted, Parker thought what it would have been like to be Sydney’s daughter instead. He would love her, care for her, hold her and give her kisses.
"Our secret,” He smiled, putting his finger to his lips. He did have a soft spot for her in his heart and he wished she had someone who would love her the way she deserved. He felt sorry for the girl, she was bright and intelligent and prevented from all the same opportunities as her brother simply because she was a girl. Had Catherine not died in childbirth things would have been very different for her. She was a generous and kind woman and died far too early.
Smiling at that, she began to walk back to the library with him. "I can see him often? Just as long as it does not interfere with his duties?" Parker asked, dying for a friend, hoping she could have this boy as a friend. “I promise I will never stop him working, I swear. I can see him when he isn’t doing work for you.”
"I don't now Milady, you know how your father is about these matters.” He sighed. The boy would be very busy with his own duties and due to much of the sensitive nature of what he would be seeing and doing, Sydney didn’t think the Duke would want him roaming about with the possibility of divulging all of his dirty secrets.
“Yes, servant and peasants are beneath our family, we should not associate with them, speak to them, look at them. We should only spend our time by ourselves, with our family or nobility." Parker recited in a bored voice, disagreeing with that statement so much. Parker had to wonder though, would she think the same when she was old like Sydney? Or by then would it be drummed so much into her head she would believe it? "But you're not nobility Sydney, yet we talk to you."
“Yes I suppose you do, but I am not your father's friend, I serve him, it is different Milady." She was far too clever for her own good and just made things that much harder on her. It would have been easier if she didn’t have a thought in her head beyond which colour was the prettiest and which dress to wear today.
"But you're my friend," Parker whispered. She had never thought of him as a servant before though, it didn't occur to her that because he did serve her father, worked as their teacher that he was a servant. To her, Sydney was an authority figure most of the times, not a servant to her.
"I am very honoured,” Sydney said, bowing his head to her. He used to like her mother very much and wished that she had not died. The girl needed her, especially now as she was getting older. He had been surprised the Duke had not yet remarried, but even if he did, it would most likely be to a girl not much older than his daughter and there would be no mother for her to turn to even then.
Smiling at him, Parker tugged his hand. "The boy?” She reminded him, eager to get back to see him. "Why is he in your care Sydney? Why isn't he in the stables cleaning them out or in the kitchen or the gardens?" That was what their servants generally tended to do, so Parker had to be curious as to why the boy wasn’t doing those jobs either.
"Because he is going to be an apprentice to me, learn my craft as a tutor and scribe,” Sydney informed her, although his duties really went far beyond that. He didn't want anybody to know right now about what he had already discovered and what he suspected. Jarod was going to far exceed his skills before too long and Sydney couldn’t wait to see what he could develop into. "He has shown some ability towards letters and numbers."
"Why can't I learn my letters and numbers Sydney?" Parker asked, wondering if the boy could teach her if Sydney wouldn't. Parker just hated how they said she was a girl and couldn't learn the things the males did. Parker wished, just once, they would take her seriously and understand she was smart and sharp and she could do just as much, if not more, than Bobby.
“You know why Milady,” Sydney said, having had this discussion over and over again. "What would people say?"
"What does it matter what they say?" Parker shot back. "I want to learn them, just because I'm a young girl doesn't mean nothing. It's not fair.” She cried out, stomping her foot to show how annoyed and frustrated it made her.
"Doesn't mean anything,” He corrected her without thinking as they approached the library door.
Parker frowned at him, she would learn her letters and numbers, no matter what. When they got to the library door, she grinned as he opened it. "Jarod." Parker moved straight over to him, sitting on the floor next to him.
Jarod looked up at her in surprise and then over to the man Sydney, who smiled and nodded at him. He didn't know what he was supposed to do with the girl though. She had been nice to him before and he was glad to see her again.
"How are you?" Parker asked, lying down in front of him, eyeing off the book and the boy's writing, trying to make sense of it. She wondered what it would feel like to understand what was on those pages, to recognise the letters and words and know what they meant by just glancing at them.
"I am reading a book,” He said, his voice low with awe. The idea of reading still enthralled him and there were enough books in here that he might never get to read them all. And the best part was that they were all different, about different things.
Parker nodded in agreement. "What book?” She asked, her interested piqued as well.
"A book on medicine and doctoring,” He told her proudly, so glad to read something aside from the Bible. He had enjoyed that book but he had read it over and over again now and thirsted for new material. The monks hadn’t allowed him anything else and he had tried to explain that he didn’t need to keep rereading it to remember it.
"Ohh," Parker whispered, moving around to lie next to him instead of in front of him, eyeing the pages, imagining what they said. "It must be exciting to be able to read the letters.” She whispered in jealously. “To be able to open any book and read new and exciting things.”
“You can't read?” He asked, unaware that not everybody could. He knew his parents couldn't, although his father could count and knew some numbers, but rich people could he would have thought.
"Father won't let me learn. I'm a girl and a lady's duty is to stand there and look pretty and serve her man." Parker said begrudgingly, hating that that was all her future held for her.
"Ohh," Jarod said, seeing how upset she was at that notion. His mother wasn't unhappy and he wondered if when she grew up and got married, maybe she wouldn't be unhappy too.
"I want to learn letters and numbers, I want to learn everything I can.” She whispered. "But no one will let me. You are so lucky." Parker said in jealously, wishing she were a boy so they would let her learn all the interesting things in the world.
Jarod nodded and looked at her. "But it is easy,” He told her, not seeing why she couldn't learn if she wanted to.
Parker looked at Sydney, who was watching them carefully. "Didn't you have work to do Sydney?" Parker asked innocently, wanting him gone without being too rude about it this time.
"My work is right here and is Jarod now,” He told her, hiding his smile at her not so subtle hint. Her interest in him though was a little worrying.
"Then why were you not with him when I saw you? You were heading off to go do some work away from him." Parker argued.
Jarod quickly lost interest in her argument and turned his attention back to the book instead. He didn’t know when he would be able to look at it again and didn’t want to waste time with useless talk.
Sydney just raised his eyebrows at her and watched her to see what she would do next.
"Can you please leave us Sydney." Parker said more direct when he hadn't moved. Since he was her father's servant, he had to do what she told him. Though he rarely ever did though. Sydney always did what her father told him to, but never what her or Bobby told him to do, even though he probably had to.
"Afraid not Milady,” Sydney said, amused by this. “You know I cannot leave the two of you unattended in the library." He really was very interested in how this conversation was going to end, and just what she would try next.
Parker stood up and folded her arms, "I asked you to leave us. I am not going to touch your books, and Jarod will not move from where he lays on the floor. I want some privacy with him." Parker ordered him with a frown, knowing he wasn't going to leave though.
It was a struggle to hide his smile, although sometimes, like now, she reminded him so much of her mother sometimes that it made his heart ache. "Then you can leave,” Sydney said, not about to be chased out of his inner sanctum. Her father might rule the castle and all the lands he held, but in here, Sydney was king.
Her frown deepened at that. "Then go stand on the other side of the room and do your work so we can talk by ourselves." Parker ordered him, pointing to the other side of the room.
Any impulse to smile fled as he saw her father in her now. "Just this once young lady,” Sydney said, not liking her ordering him around in here imperiously like that. He would put up with a lot of things so that he could keep his position here, but taking orders from a child always rubbed him the wrong way. He moved over to the side of the room, opening the document he was working on.
That got a smile from her and moved over to give him a little hug, moving to lay back down next to Jarod, not caring her expensive dress was being dirtied. Parker kept her eyes on Sydney, following his movements to make sure he did as he was told.
Jarod had watched her with wide eyes, barely believing she could order him around like that. He would have received the beating of his life if he had talked to a monk like that.
When Sydney had moved away from them, Parker wiggled a little closer to Jarod, both lying on their bellies. "Are you good at keeping secrets?” She asked in a hushed tone, so Sydney would not over hear them.
Jarod nodded, he had been keeping secrets ever since he was little. Secrets about his drawings and then secrets for the monks and now secrets for this girl too. It seemed his whole life was run by keeping secrets.
"Can you teach me my letters and numbers? So no one else knows? If they know, I will get into trouble.” She asked in a whisper, shooting a glance at Sydney to make sure he was reading his book and not listening to them.
"Me teach you?" Jarod blinked in surprise, but puffed up with pride as well as he thought about that. He looked at Sydney and then looked at her. "Will we get into trouble?” He asked fearfully, not understanding anything about this new place at all and how it worked. If she wasn’t supposed to be learning her numbers then maybe he wasn’t supposed to teach her.
“Not if they don't find out.” She whispered back, a big smile on her white face as his whole being changed as the pride flowed through him. “You can read and write already and you're only 5!" Parker whispered in awe, holding 5 fingers up. She could count, she needed to count for certain things, but only to ten and only on her fingers. If someone gave her a piece of paper with the figures written down, Parker would be at a complete loss to understand it, and she wanted to learn.
“Yes," Jarod nodded, “You can't?” He asked. He knew he was smarter than the other kids, but they were farmer's kids, peasants and there was no time or money for education.
Parker shook her head, she had already told him that. "Only the boys get taught. Girls aren't good enough to get taught.” She told him once more. “You are a servant, a peasant. None of you learn, almost none, you did though. But I am nobility, I have a title, so does my brother and father and all their friends. Out of all of them, not just me, the girls don't get taught, just the boys."
"That is silly, are boys smarter than girls?” He asked, wondering at such a strange custom. It made him wonder though if the differences between them were beyond simply physical. He knew that male animals acted differently from the female ones, but you could train both of them the same. A male dog wasn’t any smarter than a female dog.
Parker shook her head, “No, girls are nothing. All we are here for is to be married to the boys at the age of 13, have their babies so they have an heir and to make them happy. They don't think we are worth anything else." Parker frowned for a minute in thought, the boy should already know this. Peasant women were thought of the same way, she was sure. "Did you not notice it when you lived with your parents in the village?"
He shook his head. What little he remembered was that his life revolved around his parents, not much else. They had lived on the very edge of the village and he didn’t really interact with too many people unless he went into the village for some reason, and then he mostly listened rather than actually interacted with them. They had thought he was strange and he learned quickly it was best to shut up and make himself not very noticeable.
"Ohh, well it is same for peasants too. Father will find a suitor for me in a couple of years and when I'm older, he will send me away to marry. Doesn't even matter if the suitor is Sydney's age." Parker said in despair. It wasn't unusual for the young girls to be wed to the old men, as long as they were wealthy. All Parker was to her father, all the other girls were to their fathers, were breeding stock basically. They were there to be wed off to a worthy male, young, old, almost dead, it did not matter. When they were there, they had to make lots of male babies with them so they could have an heir to their wealth and land.
"Oh," Jarod whispered, not knowing what to say about that. He had never met anyone like her before. She had such strong opinions on just about everything.
"So you will teach me?" Parker asked in a quiet voice, her eyes running over the words in the book and it just looked gibberish to her.
Jarod looked at her and then nodded a little. He didn't know how to teach anybody though and he wasn't sure he was going to be able to do it. "Maybe not this first, this is hard,” He told her looking at his list of words he didn't know already. If she didn’t know any words at all then this book was going to be too hard for her. He thought though that maybe as he taught her he should write down all the words that she didn’t understand as well so that she could look at them later.
"It looks good though." Parker argued, running her fingers over the pages. "Maybe I could become a doctor when I grow old." She thought wistfully, knowing it would never happen at all. Women NEVER became doctors.
"I don't think there are lady doctors," Jarod frowned at that thought.
"Why not? Why can't there be?" Parker demanded. "I can help the ladies and the men can help the men. It only seems fair." Parker said with conviction, determined now to try and learn everything to be a doctor for all the ladies.
He had to agree with that and nodded. He decided he liked this girl very much, never having met anyone his age before that he could really talk to like this. She was smart and she didn’t seem scared that he was smart, or thought him some kind of freak or devil.
"What do you want to be when you grow up?" Parker asked, curious as to what he wanted to do. Parker wanted to do anything but be married and be a proper lady.
"I don't know,” He said after a moment of thought. Since his parents had died he hadn't really thought much beyond the day he was living in. "Maybe raise horses like my father.” He had always assumed he would grow up and do what his father did, that was how things worked.
“Your papa was a farmer?" Parker asked curiously, wondering what a farm would be like to live on. She bet it would be like a dream. Out on the open fields, able to just run and run and run, get dirty and play without being told off for not acting like a proper lady.
“No, not really, he trained horses, and he was the best." Jarod said with fierce pride.
"But don't horses live on farms?" Parker asked with confusion, though she didn't miss the pride in his voice. "We have lots of horses in the castle. Maybe father will let you train them too."
"I don't know how to,” His whispered, his voice dropping. He had been too young for his father to teach him, although he already knew quite a lot about it.
“You can learn, I know you can. And then you can train all the horses and be sooo good you will be as good as your father. I know you will." Parker said with a huge amount of confidence in him.
"I miss him," Jarod smiled sadly at her. Since they had died, he hadn’t been allowed to talk about them at all. He tried so hard not to forget his parents, yet each day he seemed to lose a little of them and soon there would be nothing left.
"I'm sorry," Parker whispered, moving closer to him and slinging her arm over his shoulders, balancing on her elbow as she lay on the ground next to him. "How did they die?” Parker asked without any thought of how it might make him feel, only interested in the story he might tell her.
"I don't know," Jarod whispered, never having really talked about it before. The monks had told him the past was the past and it was God's will. Pushing it all aside had been hard for him, he had learnt though, eventually and suppressed his feelings as much as he could. The monks drummed into his head that he was only here to serve God, not pander to his foolish and childish feelings. Emotions, they said, clouded his ability to copy things down properly and were frowned up, punished.
"Well what happened? Something must've for you not to have them. Tell me.” She said gently, watching him, supporting him with her arm, comforting him.
"They were just gone," Jarod said, his voice dropping to a painful whisper. "Everyone was dead and I couldn't find them anywhere.” He said, tears filling his eyes. Sometimes he felt so lonely it was as if he had been actually hurt, the pain was that acute. It was nice to have her arm around him, nobody ever touched him anymore, except to hit or drag him somewhere.
"Why was everyone dead?" Parker asked him in a whisper, not understanding how everyone could just be dead. "Where did you live?"
"Far away," Jarod sighed and looked at her. "The whole village was killed, the horses taken, people taken and killed.” He had no idea why or who had done it. All he knew is that his parents were gone.
"What was the name of the village?" Parker pushed a little more, wanting to see if her father could find if his parents were killed. If he couldn’t find them, then maybe the two of them had managed to escape from all the bad people.
"A village, but we lived on the outskirts not really in the village, Larkhill," Jarod whispered, having told himself the name over and over so he wouldn't forget that as well, the way he was with everything else about his life before that terrible day.
"It sounds pretty." Parker said, not sure what else to say to him. Getting up, she moved over to Sydney where he was reading and stood next to the man, her hand on his leg.
"I think you need to be running along Milady, it is almost time for the evening meal and you don't want your father querying why you were late do you?” Sydney asked softly.
“No sir," Parker shook her head. "Will Jarod be joining us? After our meal, can I take him out back to the horses?” If she could show him the horses, let him ride and play with them, maybe it might help him remember his papa a little more.
“No, Jarod most certainly will not be joining you and I have things for him to do after evening meal.” Sydney told her, knowing that this had been a mistake. Never should he permitted her in here as now she had formed an attachment to the boy. There would be no end of her whining to come in and wanting to play with him. Not that Sydney was opposed to that as such, but the Duke would be and this was only going to stir up trouble.
"What about tomorrow morning, before you gave him his work? Can I take him out then, just for a ride and then I will bring him back in time for morning meals." Parker bargained, pleading for a yes.
"I am sorry Milady,” Sydney said closing the discussion. “Now run along."
Parker shook her head stubbornly. "I will get up before the dawn of the sun, and take him out then. And he can be back in his room before his meal comes, before you come. You won't even notice. It's only out riding in our gardens." She pushed, really wanting to take him out to the horses and play with him. Parker could just see they would be the best of friends.
Sydney gave her a stern look which told her exactly what he thought of that plan. "Run along to your father now before you get into trouble,” He told her, dismissing her.
Parker decided she would do it anyway, Sydney would never know. Frowning and growling softly at him, Parker turned on her heel and marched away from Sydney. Stopping at Jarod, she crouched down. "I have to go now Jarod, I need to dress myself for evening meal."
Jarod looked up at her and blinked. She was already dressed and it wasn't Sunday so there was no special dinner. He nodded, wondering where she would go and what she would do, but too interested in the book to really care all that much right now.
Parker smiled a little before pulling open the heavy door and leaving. She would sneak in, in the morning to get him to go horse riding. Sydney would never know. She even knew what room he was in. Though an empty room with hay in the corner to sleep didn't seem too appealing to her.
Sydney moved back over to Jarod and leant down to pick up the book. "It is evening meal time Jarod, come now.” He instructed, putting the book carefully away. “You can store your parchments on your desk, nobody will interfere with them."
Jarod nodded, surprised that he would be eating again so soon. The monks lived frugally and ate only one meal a day and sometimes they fasted and ate nothing for days at a time.
"And to what do I owe the honour of this visit Milady?” Sydney asked her, knowing what she would be wanting. She must have been waiting for him, knowing he was ensconced in the library.
"Can I go see the boy Sydney? He is in your library and I can't go in without you. So please come along to the library." Parker told him, taking his hand to try and pull him back in the right direction. Parker hoped if she told him he had to take her, that he would so she could see the new boy.
"Why the interest in this boy Milady? He is only a serf, far beneath your station.” Sydney said, not moving. She was far too smart and inquisitive for her own good and it was going to get her in trouble, of that he was certain.
"He talks.” She whispered, "He looked upset and scared, he would be fun to play with. Bobby isn't much fun, too interested in his studies and being father's heir.” She sulked unhappily. Parker would give anything for her brother to be interested in playing with her, being a kid with her, but she knew he didn’t want that. He wanted to be a grown up right now to do all the things her father does.
“Of course he talks,” Sydney said, not entirely sure what she meant by that. He didn’t think she had a clue just how uninterested her brother was in his studies. If he had his way he would be all grown up and running his father's forces conquering the world. Young Lord Lyle was an ambitious one and he often wondered just what Raines was teaching him sometimes.
“No, I mean he talks," Parker said again, still tugging his hand. Unlike every one else, Jarod did not speak to her like she was just a girl and shouldn’t have important things said to her, he didn’t speak like she was of noble blood and just say yes Milady, no Milady to her every word. "Can we go see him please?"
“Not now, I am sure your father wouldn't approve of this and he is just settling in.” Sydney told her, wondering why she was so surprised by the fact that he could talk. She seemed always to find her way into trouble and places where she wasn’t supposed to be.
"Then more reason for him to get used to me now while he is settling in." Parker explained. If he wouldn't take her, she would get in there herself. She had lived here her whole life, she knew all the secret ways in and out. Parker wondered if they knew that, if they were even away she knew all about the secret passages, if they knew about them.
"What is it that is so fascinating about him?” Sydney asked her, seeing her determination. Perhaps he should let her and then her father would put a stop to it quickly enough and she would stop bothering him.
"He is different." Parker whispered, as if it were a big secret. "He could by my friend. I don't have any friends.” She had her 'friends' who attended the balls and sucked up to her father, but they weren't really her friends, their parents just made them play with her.
"I don't think your father would approve of that Milady,” Sydney said gently, crouching down in front of her. "This boy will be very busy with much work to do and probably no time for play.” He wondered though if she knew more than she was letting on. When she had said he was different , it had sent a shiver down his spine. Surely she couldn’t know just how special and different he really was.
Parker looked at him with wide ice blue eyes, sadness and loneliness shinning in them. "Please?” She whispered pleadingly. "He doesn't have to know. Just our secret. Please Sydney? I need a friend, I want a friend." Parker begged him shamelessly, desperate to have one real friend, someone she could talk to no matter what their social rank was or their sex was. One person she could hug if she was upset, one person she could talk to about her problems, one person that cared for her just because she was her and not because her father was rich.
"It is very hard for you here isn't it?” He asked her gently. Her family had everything they could ever want, all the wealth and power and yet she was so lonely. None of that money could buy her what she yearned for.
She nodded a little, looking down at the ground. "I have no one to play with. Father wants me to be a lady, I just want to play. I don't even want to learn stupid needlepoint, I want to learn mathematics and Latin like Bobby, Bobby won't even play with me." Parker looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "I want my mother, I want hugs and kisses and father won't give them to me."
Sydney grabbed his kerchief and wiped her tears away gently. "Come on then, just this once and I don't want you to interfere with his duties, understood?"
“Yes sir," Parker agreed easily, holding onto his hand so he couldn't stand up yet. Reaching over, she gave him a kiss to thank him. Sometimes, when she was alone in her big bed, in her bedroom that was much larger than she needed or wanted, Parker thought what it would have been like to be Sydney’s daughter instead. He would love her, care for her, hold her and give her kisses.
"Our secret,” He smiled, putting his finger to his lips. He did have a soft spot for her in his heart and he wished she had someone who would love her the way she deserved. He felt sorry for the girl, she was bright and intelligent and prevented from all the same opportunities as her brother simply because she was a girl. Had Catherine not died in childbirth things would have been very different for her. She was a generous and kind woman and died far too early.
Smiling at that, she began to walk back to the library with him. "I can see him often? Just as long as it does not interfere with his duties?" Parker asked, dying for a friend, hoping she could have this boy as a friend. “I promise I will never stop him working, I swear. I can see him when he isn’t doing work for you.”
"I don't now Milady, you know how your father is about these matters.” He sighed. The boy would be very busy with his own duties and due to much of the sensitive nature of what he would be seeing and doing, Sydney didn’t think the Duke would want him roaming about with the possibility of divulging all of his dirty secrets.
“Yes, servant and peasants are beneath our family, we should not associate with them, speak to them, look at them. We should only spend our time by ourselves, with our family or nobility." Parker recited in a bored voice, disagreeing with that statement so much. Parker had to wonder though, would she think the same when she was old like Sydney? Or by then would it be drummed so much into her head she would believe it? "But you're not nobility Sydney, yet we talk to you."
“Yes I suppose you do, but I am not your father's friend, I serve him, it is different Milady." She was far too clever for her own good and just made things that much harder on her. It would have been easier if she didn’t have a thought in her head beyond which colour was the prettiest and which dress to wear today.
"But you're my friend," Parker whispered. She had never thought of him as a servant before though, it didn't occur to her that because he did serve her father, worked as their teacher that he was a servant. To her, Sydney was an authority figure most of the times, not a servant to her.
"I am very honoured,” Sydney said, bowing his head to her. He used to like her mother very much and wished that she had not died. The girl needed her, especially now as she was getting older. He had been surprised the Duke had not yet remarried, but even if he did, it would most likely be to a girl not much older than his daughter and there would be no mother for her to turn to even then.
Smiling at him, Parker tugged his hand. "The boy?” She reminded him, eager to get back to see him. "Why is he in your care Sydney? Why isn't he in the stables cleaning them out or in the kitchen or the gardens?" That was what their servants generally tended to do, so Parker had to be curious as to why the boy wasn’t doing those jobs either.
"Because he is going to be an apprentice to me, learn my craft as a tutor and scribe,” Sydney informed her, although his duties really went far beyond that. He didn't want anybody to know right now about what he had already discovered and what he suspected. Jarod was going to far exceed his skills before too long and Sydney couldn’t wait to see what he could develop into. "He has shown some ability towards letters and numbers."
"Why can't I learn my letters and numbers Sydney?" Parker asked, wondering if the boy could teach her if Sydney wouldn't. Parker just hated how they said she was a girl and couldn't learn the things the males did. Parker wished, just once, they would take her seriously and understand she was smart and sharp and she could do just as much, if not more, than Bobby.
“You know why Milady,” Sydney said, having had this discussion over and over again. "What would people say?"
"What does it matter what they say?" Parker shot back. "I want to learn them, just because I'm a young girl doesn't mean nothing. It's not fair.” She cried out, stomping her foot to show how annoyed and frustrated it made her.
"Doesn't mean anything,” He corrected her without thinking as they approached the library door.
Parker frowned at him, she would learn her letters and numbers, no matter what. When they got to the library door, she grinned as he opened it. "Jarod." Parker moved straight over to him, sitting on the floor next to him.
Jarod looked up at her in surprise and then over to the man Sydney, who smiled and nodded at him. He didn't know what he was supposed to do with the girl though. She had been nice to him before and he was glad to see her again.
"How are you?" Parker asked, lying down in front of him, eyeing off the book and the boy's writing, trying to make sense of it. She wondered what it would feel like to understand what was on those pages, to recognise the letters and words and know what they meant by just glancing at them.
"I am reading a book,” He said, his voice low with awe. The idea of reading still enthralled him and there were enough books in here that he might never get to read them all. And the best part was that they were all different, about different things.
Parker nodded in agreement. "What book?” She asked, her interested piqued as well.
"A book on medicine and doctoring,” He told her proudly, so glad to read something aside from the Bible. He had enjoyed that book but he had read it over and over again now and thirsted for new material. The monks hadn’t allowed him anything else and he had tried to explain that he didn’t need to keep rereading it to remember it.
"Ohh," Parker whispered, moving around to lie next to him instead of in front of him, eyeing the pages, imagining what they said. "It must be exciting to be able to read the letters.” She whispered in jealously. “To be able to open any book and read new and exciting things.”
“You can't read?” He asked, unaware that not everybody could. He knew his parents couldn't, although his father could count and knew some numbers, but rich people could he would have thought.
"Father won't let me learn. I'm a girl and a lady's duty is to stand there and look pretty and serve her man." Parker said begrudgingly, hating that that was all her future held for her.
"Ohh," Jarod said, seeing how upset she was at that notion. His mother wasn't unhappy and he wondered if when she grew up and got married, maybe she wouldn't be unhappy too.
"I want to learn letters and numbers, I want to learn everything I can.” She whispered. "But no one will let me. You are so lucky." Parker said in jealously, wishing she were a boy so they would let her learn all the interesting things in the world.
Jarod nodded and looked at her. "But it is easy,” He told her, not seeing why she couldn't learn if she wanted to.
Parker looked at Sydney, who was watching them carefully. "Didn't you have work to do Sydney?" Parker asked innocently, wanting him gone without being too rude about it this time.
"My work is right here and is Jarod now,” He told her, hiding his smile at her not so subtle hint. Her interest in him though was a little worrying.
"Then why were you not with him when I saw you? You were heading off to go do some work away from him." Parker argued.
Jarod quickly lost interest in her argument and turned his attention back to the book instead. He didn’t know when he would be able to look at it again and didn’t want to waste time with useless talk.
Sydney just raised his eyebrows at her and watched her to see what she would do next.
"Can you please leave us Sydney." Parker said more direct when he hadn't moved. Since he was her father's servant, he had to do what she told him. Though he rarely ever did though. Sydney always did what her father told him to, but never what her or Bobby told him to do, even though he probably had to.
"Afraid not Milady,” Sydney said, amused by this. “You know I cannot leave the two of you unattended in the library." He really was very interested in how this conversation was going to end, and just what she would try next.
Parker stood up and folded her arms, "I asked you to leave us. I am not going to touch your books, and Jarod will not move from where he lays on the floor. I want some privacy with him." Parker ordered him with a frown, knowing he wasn't going to leave though.
It was a struggle to hide his smile, although sometimes, like now, she reminded him so much of her mother sometimes that it made his heart ache. "Then you can leave,” Sydney said, not about to be chased out of his inner sanctum. Her father might rule the castle and all the lands he held, but in here, Sydney was king.
Her frown deepened at that. "Then go stand on the other side of the room and do your work so we can talk by ourselves." Parker ordered him, pointing to the other side of the room.
Any impulse to smile fled as he saw her father in her now. "Just this once young lady,” Sydney said, not liking her ordering him around in here imperiously like that. He would put up with a lot of things so that he could keep his position here, but taking orders from a child always rubbed him the wrong way. He moved over to the side of the room, opening the document he was working on.
That got a smile from her and moved over to give him a little hug, moving to lay back down next to Jarod, not caring her expensive dress was being dirtied. Parker kept her eyes on Sydney, following his movements to make sure he did as he was told.
Jarod had watched her with wide eyes, barely believing she could order him around like that. He would have received the beating of his life if he had talked to a monk like that.
When Sydney had moved away from them, Parker wiggled a little closer to Jarod, both lying on their bellies. "Are you good at keeping secrets?” She asked in a hushed tone, so Sydney would not over hear them.
Jarod nodded, he had been keeping secrets ever since he was little. Secrets about his drawings and then secrets for the monks and now secrets for this girl too. It seemed his whole life was run by keeping secrets.
"Can you teach me my letters and numbers? So no one else knows? If they know, I will get into trouble.” She asked in a whisper, shooting a glance at Sydney to make sure he was reading his book and not listening to them.
"Me teach you?" Jarod blinked in surprise, but puffed up with pride as well as he thought about that. He looked at Sydney and then looked at her. "Will we get into trouble?” He asked fearfully, not understanding anything about this new place at all and how it worked. If she wasn’t supposed to be learning her numbers then maybe he wasn’t supposed to teach her.
“Not if they don't find out.” She whispered back, a big smile on her white face as his whole being changed as the pride flowed through him. “You can read and write already and you're only 5!" Parker whispered in awe, holding 5 fingers up. She could count, she needed to count for certain things, but only to ten and only on her fingers. If someone gave her a piece of paper with the figures written down, Parker would be at a complete loss to understand it, and she wanted to learn.
“Yes," Jarod nodded, “You can't?” He asked. He knew he was smarter than the other kids, but they were farmer's kids, peasants and there was no time or money for education.
Parker shook her head, she had already told him that. "Only the boys get taught. Girls aren't good enough to get taught.” She told him once more. “You are a servant, a peasant. None of you learn, almost none, you did though. But I am nobility, I have a title, so does my brother and father and all their friends. Out of all of them, not just me, the girls don't get taught, just the boys."
"That is silly, are boys smarter than girls?” He asked, wondering at such a strange custom. It made him wonder though if the differences between them were beyond simply physical. He knew that male animals acted differently from the female ones, but you could train both of them the same. A male dog wasn’t any smarter than a female dog.
Parker shook her head, “No, girls are nothing. All we are here for is to be married to the boys at the age of 13, have their babies so they have an heir and to make them happy. They don't think we are worth anything else." Parker frowned for a minute in thought, the boy should already know this. Peasant women were thought of the same way, she was sure. "Did you not notice it when you lived with your parents in the village?"
He shook his head. What little he remembered was that his life revolved around his parents, not much else. They had lived on the very edge of the village and he didn’t really interact with too many people unless he went into the village for some reason, and then he mostly listened rather than actually interacted with them. They had thought he was strange and he learned quickly it was best to shut up and make himself not very noticeable.
"Ohh, well it is same for peasants too. Father will find a suitor for me in a couple of years and when I'm older, he will send me away to marry. Doesn't even matter if the suitor is Sydney's age." Parker said in despair. It wasn't unusual for the young girls to be wed to the old men, as long as they were wealthy. All Parker was to her father, all the other girls were to their fathers, were breeding stock basically. They were there to be wed off to a worthy male, young, old, almost dead, it did not matter. When they were there, they had to make lots of male babies with them so they could have an heir to their wealth and land.
"Oh," Jarod whispered, not knowing what to say about that. He had never met anyone like her before. She had such strong opinions on just about everything.
"So you will teach me?" Parker asked in a quiet voice, her eyes running over the words in the book and it just looked gibberish to her.
Jarod looked at her and then nodded a little. He didn't know how to teach anybody though and he wasn't sure he was going to be able to do it. "Maybe not this first, this is hard,” He told her looking at his list of words he didn't know already. If she didn’t know any words at all then this book was going to be too hard for her. He thought though that maybe as he taught her he should write down all the words that she didn’t understand as well so that she could look at them later.
"It looks good though." Parker argued, running her fingers over the pages. "Maybe I could become a doctor when I grow old." She thought wistfully, knowing it would never happen at all. Women NEVER became doctors.
"I don't think there are lady doctors," Jarod frowned at that thought.
"Why not? Why can't there be?" Parker demanded. "I can help the ladies and the men can help the men. It only seems fair." Parker said with conviction, determined now to try and learn everything to be a doctor for all the ladies.
He had to agree with that and nodded. He decided he liked this girl very much, never having met anyone his age before that he could really talk to like this. She was smart and she didn’t seem scared that he was smart, or thought him some kind of freak or devil.
"What do you want to be when you grow up?" Parker asked, curious as to what he wanted to do. Parker wanted to do anything but be married and be a proper lady.
"I don't know,” He said after a moment of thought. Since his parents had died he hadn't really thought much beyond the day he was living in. "Maybe raise horses like my father.” He had always assumed he would grow up and do what his father did, that was how things worked.
“Your papa was a farmer?" Parker asked curiously, wondering what a farm would be like to live on. She bet it would be like a dream. Out on the open fields, able to just run and run and run, get dirty and play without being told off for not acting like a proper lady.
“No, not really, he trained horses, and he was the best." Jarod said with fierce pride.
"But don't horses live on farms?" Parker asked with confusion, though she didn't miss the pride in his voice. "We have lots of horses in the castle. Maybe father will let you train them too."
"I don't know how to,” His whispered, his voice dropping. He had been too young for his father to teach him, although he already knew quite a lot about it.
“You can learn, I know you can. And then you can train all the horses and be sooo good you will be as good as your father. I know you will." Parker said with a huge amount of confidence in him.
"I miss him," Jarod smiled sadly at her. Since they had died, he hadn’t been allowed to talk about them at all. He tried so hard not to forget his parents, yet each day he seemed to lose a little of them and soon there would be nothing left.
"I'm sorry," Parker whispered, moving closer to him and slinging her arm over his shoulders, balancing on her elbow as she lay on the ground next to him. "How did they die?” Parker asked without any thought of how it might make him feel, only interested in the story he might tell her.
"I don't know," Jarod whispered, never having really talked about it before. The monks had told him the past was the past and it was God's will. Pushing it all aside had been hard for him, he had learnt though, eventually and suppressed his feelings as much as he could. The monks drummed into his head that he was only here to serve God, not pander to his foolish and childish feelings. Emotions, they said, clouded his ability to copy things down properly and were frowned up, punished.
"Well what happened? Something must've for you not to have them. Tell me.” She said gently, watching him, supporting him with her arm, comforting him.
"They were just gone," Jarod said, his voice dropping to a painful whisper. "Everyone was dead and I couldn't find them anywhere.” He said, tears filling his eyes. Sometimes he felt so lonely it was as if he had been actually hurt, the pain was that acute. It was nice to have her arm around him, nobody ever touched him anymore, except to hit or drag him somewhere.
"Why was everyone dead?" Parker asked him in a whisper, not understanding how everyone could just be dead. "Where did you live?"
"Far away," Jarod sighed and looked at her. "The whole village was killed, the horses taken, people taken and killed.” He had no idea why or who had done it. All he knew is that his parents were gone.
"What was the name of the village?" Parker pushed a little more, wanting to see if her father could find if his parents were killed. If he couldn’t find them, then maybe the two of them had managed to escape from all the bad people.
"A village, but we lived on the outskirts not really in the village, Larkhill," Jarod whispered, having told himself the name over and over so he wouldn't forget that as well, the way he was with everything else about his life before that terrible day.
"It sounds pretty." Parker said, not sure what else to say to him. Getting up, she moved over to Sydney where he was reading and stood next to the man, her hand on his leg.
"I think you need to be running along Milady, it is almost time for the evening meal and you don't want your father querying why you were late do you?” Sydney asked softly.
“No sir," Parker shook her head. "Will Jarod be joining us? After our meal, can I take him out back to the horses?” If she could show him the horses, let him ride and play with them, maybe it might help him remember his papa a little more.
“No, Jarod most certainly will not be joining you and I have things for him to do after evening meal.” Sydney told her, knowing that this had been a mistake. Never should he permitted her in here as now she had formed an attachment to the boy. There would be no end of her whining to come in and wanting to play with him. Not that Sydney was opposed to that as such, but the Duke would be and this was only going to stir up trouble.
"What about tomorrow morning, before you gave him his work? Can I take him out then, just for a ride and then I will bring him back in time for morning meals." Parker bargained, pleading for a yes.
"I am sorry Milady,” Sydney said closing the discussion. “Now run along."
Parker shook her head stubbornly. "I will get up before the dawn of the sun, and take him out then. And he can be back in his room before his meal comes, before you come. You won't even notice. It's only out riding in our gardens." She pushed, really wanting to take him out to the horses and play with him. Parker could just see they would be the best of friends.
Sydney gave her a stern look which told her exactly what he thought of that plan. "Run along to your father now before you get into trouble,” He told her, dismissing her.
Parker decided she would do it anyway, Sydney would never know. Frowning and growling softly at him, Parker turned on her heel and marched away from Sydney. Stopping at Jarod, she crouched down. "I have to go now Jarod, I need to dress myself for evening meal."
Jarod looked up at her and blinked. She was already dressed and it wasn't Sunday so there was no special dinner. He nodded, wondering where she would go and what she would do, but too interested in the book to really care all that much right now.
Parker smiled a little before pulling open the heavy door and leaving. She would sneak in, in the morning to get him to go horse riding. Sydney would never know. She even knew what room he was in. Though an empty room with hay in the corner to sleep didn't seem too appealing to her.
Sydney moved back over to Jarod and leant down to pick up the book. "It is evening meal time Jarod, come now.” He instructed, putting the book carefully away. “You can store your parchments on your desk, nobody will interfere with them."
Jarod nodded, surprised that he would be eating again so soon. The monks lived frugally and ate only one meal a day and sometimes they fasted and ate nothing for days at a time.
