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Disclaimer: All rights to all characters within this story are owned by NBC, Fox or TNT. No profits are made in any way in the writing or distribution of the work. It's just my overactive imagination :o).
He couldn't sleep well. Almost at all. Never could, though. But it was something different this time. He thought about it for a long time but couldn't quite point what it was. Something was holding him down. Some kind of void. 'Give it time... It'll go away', he thought. But the shadows remained. He didn't know what to do. It's been almost half a year now. Called Sydney once but Sydney couldn't help... Not this time.
It took some time. Then he realized... Well, not quite realized. He actually knew all along. He just couldn't admit it to himself.
It hits fast and it hits so forcefully. He wasn't prepared for it. No one really is.
He tried to call her. Talk to her about it. It's never easy. Especially with her.
Once he managed to dial a whole number. Once even waited for her to answer... Her harsh 'What!?'.. He couldn't holdback the faint smile on his lips... And the rapid beating of his heart. Then silence... Sadness. Fear. Few seconds. Felt like lifetimes. Always do when it comes to fear. He almost managed to say something. Opened his mouth. Inhaled. Tried so hard... But nothing... Damn fear.
What the hell could he say, anyway. She doesn't know. She doesn't feel the same... Void. She doesn't understand. She rejected him before (left him to bleed), she'll reject him again. He couldn't take it. He was weak. Weak when it comes to a real life... Feelings.
Then he heard her say: 'Jarod?'. He trembled. Than hung up... She actually sounded worried. No... It's just a delusion... Weakness toying him...
Weak... That's what he is.
She was tired. So tired of everything... Life. Her life. Solitude.
Threw her bag and the coat on the floor. Keys on the table by the door. Didn't even think about turning the lights on. She wanted obscurity. Wanted peace...
Dark. Except a pale light from a fireplace. 'Just like my life', she thought and smiled sadly looking at it for a moment.
Laid on the couch. So tired...
After a few minutes just laying there (and deluding herself that she could actually relax) she reached for a bottle in that special gap in the coffee table.
But the bottle wasn't there. She moved her weary muscles to reach deeper but still nothing. That was strange...
'I started to drink, you know.'. She wanted to jump but all she could do at that moment is to sit upright. Then she saw a faint figure opposite of her.
'Jarod?!' she couldn't believe... After all this time. No calls.... No trails... No nothing... Her heart stared to beat faster. Much faster...
'A lot.'.
'What?... What the hell are you doing here?!' she managed to stand up somehow. Heart still beating fast.
'I started to drink. A lot... Your bottle is here', he lifted his hand holding the bottle.
'What are you talking about!?!? What are you doing here?!'... already on the verge of her nerves. Ice Queen mode. But her knees stared to buckle.
'I came here to tell you...' he slowly stood up.
She impatiently turned her head at side.
'Please, just sit and listen to me... I'll be brief.', he never really was a much of a drinker. But this time scotch helped him gather his strength.
First she wanted just to tell him to go to hell (ruining her 'rest' time)... But she was curious (worried actually; but she would never admit it.... not even to herself... especially to herself... she was very good at deluding) why did he disappear, just like that.
Then she locked her eyes on his... Just for a few moments but saw a certain grief... Solitude... Same as hers... Something was not right.
Hesitated a little then sat down. Her knees wouldn't hold on for much longer, anyway.
'OK. Talk.'.. Checked the watch.
'You have 1 minute to explain... And it better be good or I'm taking your sorry ass straight to the Center, lab-rat.'
'I'll need just about 5 seconds, actually.', he said with a faint smile trying to gather his strength, then sat on the couch.
'Well...', she was really loosing her patience now. And him sitting next to her. She could smell his scent. She always liked his scent.
His mind was clouding. His heartbeat racing. He couldn't manage to speak. Even the scotch couldn't help now.
Then he looked at her (beautiful) eyes and saw something there. Something she couldn't hide from him (she never could hide anything from him). It was so clear. So sharp. So distinct. Something familiar... Familiar sadness... Tiredness... And at that moment he understood everything. He feared no more.
'I love you.', his eyes locked on hers. The words just flew out. He wasn't even aware he did it. It was like a trans.
First she was shocked. Her eyes widened. Her heart was beating even faster. And then it felt like it's the first time she hear those words. Her mind screaming to let herself go. Let herself feel. But the Ice Queen...
'You are waaay lost, monkey-boy!' she said it sarcastically and actually managed to smile faintly as she quickly stood up. But she blushed. She couldn't hide it. Not this time. Not ever... From him.
'I love you. I always have.', he stood up and said it calmly, his eyes still locked on hers, not taking her fuming seriously because he knew. He saw it in her eyes. He felt it.
Another shock. He said it again... Her mind was blurring. A struggle within... Panic attack... Until the weariness took the best of her and then she did something unexpected, for the both of them.
She hesitated, then pulled out her 9mm and aimed it at his forehead.
He was calm. He actually smiled. 'She's doing it again. Doesn't she know that when we bleed, we bleed the same? Doesn't she know by now, that weapons can't really hurt me? Only she can. Her sharp, witty words that cuts right through. Her thick defense walls that rises every time I get closer. Her rejections... But I'm not weak anymore. Because now I know that she feels the same void. That she cares for me, too.'
Her hand, holding a gun, started to tremble. 'Damn him! He's smiling... And I don't know what I'm doing! Losing control... Fast!...... But what's... His eyes are tearing now.... '
Then he took her trembling hand, holding a gun, and slowly pointed it down, towards his chest, never leaving her eyes. He stopped at his heart.
A single tear streaming down his cheek.
Lifetimes... She was so tired. Tired of pretending. Her own eyes started to tear, as well. Her heart ached. And at that exact moment, looking at his teary eyes and his drawn face, she understood his pain, her pain... And finally gave up. She couldn't fight it no more. She didn't want to.
It took so much time and so much pain. So much struggle. She was blinded by hate and lies. Blunt lies, empty hate. But it was so clear from the beginning... That she loved him, too. She always had.
Lifetimes... She slowly dropped the gun on the floor and started to sob. Like never before.
He slowly approached and embraced her. Few moments passed and he felt her relaxing into his arms, into his touch, ever so slowly and shyly, embracing him too. Gently kissing her forehead and eyelids, he let his own tears merge with hers.
He finally found home. She finally found him. They both finally found love.
They never really needed words. You never need words when it's a matter of a heart. All they ever had to do is let go.
To find release in each other.
So, The End...
(Is actually The Beginning... Always is.)
Thanks for reading!
Feedback would be much appreciated. This is my first (and probably the last) fanfic. It was just a thing of a moment. A fling... BTW, English is not my first language, so please don't mind a missed tense or a misspelled word :o)
So, hit me :o) Thanx.
P.S. Please, let's gather our aspirations and get a third movie (the link below). Join us.
http://forums.prospero.com/foxpretender/messages
