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Faith

The Centre

The only witness to her grief was Jarod and Angelo. She couldn’t believe that somebody she barely knew could touch her like this. It felt liked everyone she knew had died. Her mom and now Faith.

“Are you going to be all right?”

“I think so…Where did she go?”

“I don’t know,” Jarod answered, “At least she didn’t die alone.”

“I wonder if we will ever see her again.”

“Have faith,” Angelo stated with conviction. It only increased her tears and she couldn’t hold the empty feeling inside anymore.

“She said she’ll always be watching over us.”

“I miss her and I don’t even know who she was.”

Jarod didn’t answer her, instead he drew her into an embrace, hugging her tight as she cried onto his shoulder her grief and loneliness.

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Two months ago

“Excuse me, nurse. Please, can you help me? A man had been brought in…hit and run…”

She only stood there, watching as Sydney frantically tried to get any information on Jarod. Her mind was a blur, she couldn’t seem to focus. Broots asked something but she didn’t answer. She noticed Sydney’s shirt was covered in blood spots. She closed her eyes but they still danced in front of her. She opened her eyes again and they still haven’t disappeared. She was aware that Broots was looking at her funny and she thought maybe it was because he saw the blood too.

She only registered the glass that was pressed against her lips and then found that somewhere she had lost time. She was seated on a dull orange plastic chair, Sydney next to her, coaxing her to take another sip. Pushing his hand away, she mumbled that she was fine.

“Dr Green, Dr Walker will see you now.”

She watched Sydney disappear, dissolving into air while her stomach crammed with a familiar ache she had not experienced since Faith. But she was older and wiser and not about to cry in front of Broots. And Jarod wasn’t there to tell her that everything will work out all right.

“You promised you would be watching over us.” She screamed inside, wanting to blame anyone but herself. “You promised!”

“Miss Parker, do you need anything else.”

She remembered Broots. Tiredly she dropped her head into her hands. “I need some aspirin.” He left, making his way towards a nurse and she leaned against the hard back plastic of the chair to rest her upper body against the wall.

“Where did you go, Faith?”

Her own question went unanswered in the void that had opened inside her. She had no idea how long she sat there. At some stage Broots returned with the white capsules clutched in his hand and more water. She had downed the pills without a word and then continued to wait.

Sydney’s haggard face was her answer and her undoing. The pit in her stomach grew until she could barely keep it in. Her throat went tight and for a moment she struggled to breath but she kept it open. Her vision blurred and all she could focus on again was the blood spots on the older man’s shirt.

“Miss Parker. He…he’s gone. They…,” Sydney broke down and then managed to compose himself again, “His injuries was just…”

She nodded and then left the emergency room that smelled of blood and disinfectant without a word.

“At least you didn’t die alone, Jarod.” She murmured, clutching the letter to her chest. “I miss you.”

With those words, she finally allowed sleep to steal her thoughts and dull her pain.

She had just washed her hair, having spent most of the morning in bed, when the door bell rang. She wasn’t in the mood to deal with anyone, especially after last night. Ben wasn’t home. He had gone to visit an old friend and she had been glad to have the whole house to herself.

The doorbell rang a second time. She wanted whoever it was to go away. When it stubbornly rang the fourth time, she got up from the couch she had been lounging on, and stalked over, forgetting about the fact that she was in her bathrobe with a towel wrapped around her hair. She jerked the door open, ready to tell the person to get lost.

“Uhm, Miss Parker?”

She grabbed her robe, pulling it tight while she could only stare at John blushing in front of her. Their conversation of yesterday came back with a bang and she groaned. Wanting to do nothing but disappear, she slammed the door shut in his face.

“Shit.”

The closed door glared back at her. A tentative knock sounded. Leaning her head against the dark wood, she considered her options. She could always shoot him. That way no-one else will ever hear about her little mishap.

“Shit.”

She could always claim insanity and hope he believed her. Again a soft knock accompanied by an even softer, “Miss Parker?” She could always leave him standing there until he left.

“What?”

His voice was muffled by the barrier between them. “I’m always early. I’m sorry. I can come back later.”

For a minute she seriously considered disappearing while he left but instead she opened the door. It’s not as if she had anywhere else to go.

“Do you mind waiting?”

He smiled, his warm eyes bringing life to his face. “I’ll wait on the porch. Take all the time you need.”

She was eternally grateful for those words.

“What would you like to drink, Miss Parker?”

She browsed the menu again, not really seeing anything stronger than caffeine. She needed something stronger after what had happened earlier. John cleared his throat and she looked up, noticing the waitress for the first time.

“I’ll have what he’s having,” she said, hoping that it wasn’t something exotic. She hasn’t really been concentrating on what he had asked for. The waitress left with a bustling efficiency and Miss Parker was alone with John.

“Do you always answer the door in your bathrobe?” John asked, his eyes dancing with mischief, a smile tucking at the corner of his mouth.

“Only when dates arrive. It ensures that no illusions are kept regarding who I am.”

“I like your illusions.”

She didn’t have an answer. She could feel her skin glow and suddenly she wondered why she was blushing like a school girl. If I giggle, I’m going to shoot myself, she thought murderously.

“Miss Parker is a bit formal, isn’t it? What’s your first name?”

She smiled, feeling the glow dissipate. “My secret.”

He laughed and again it struck her how much it reminded her of Jarod. “What if I find out from other sources? Will I have earned the right to use it?”

She grinned, enjoying the game. “I’ll decide but I don’t think you’ll succeed.”

They were interrupted by the waitress bringing their coffee, and she relaxed, enjoying the company.

“I don’t usually fail, Miss Parker.”

“Really. You know the saying, there’s always a first time.”

He took a sip, watching her over the rim of the cup. A small slice of cream stuck to his upper lift and it made crinkles when he said, “Not on this.”

She laughed, watching the cream lines disintegrate. “Well, good luck then, milk boy.”

He finally seemed to understand and with a slight embarrassment, he licked the cream from his upper lip. They sat and talked, content in their banter and companionship. The second cup had just finished, when Miss Parker lowered the tone of the conversation and asked, “How did you get your scars?”

He touched the side of his face and grew somber. “I don’t remember much. Apparently somebody drove into my car and the impact flung my body out. The glass and tar road made a mess but they managed to restore most of my skin. The doctor who treated me told me more than once that I was lucky to be alive. And I am. I got to meet you.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”

“Not at all. How did you get your scars?”

“My what?” As far as she knew, she had none.

“The ones inside, Miss Parker.”

She dropped her gaze. This man was far too observant. “I lost someone close a few months back. I’m just learning to deal with it.” She had no idea why she had told him. She had never opened herself like this before to anyone but Jarod. Not even Tommy.

A gentle hand took her by her chin, lifting her face until she could see into his eyes. He had come around the table and was now crouching before her, his eyes compassionate and full of understanding. “I’m sorry.”

Nothing more. But it was enough and she allowed him to pull her into his arms, feeling the strength of his shoulders. She forgot about the coffee shop or anyone else who would be watching. Her steely resolve crumbled and she allowed her grief to be spent in his embrace.