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Chapter or Story Chapter or Story
It's time for Animaniacs
And we're zany to the max
So just sit back and relax
You'll laugh 'til you collapse
Come join the Warner Brothers
And the Warner Sister,
Just for fun we run around the Warner movie lot.
They lock us in the tower whenever we get caught
But we break loose and then vamoose And now you know the plot!
Dot is cute and Yakko yaks.
Wakko packs away the snacks
We've got wisecracks by the stacks.
Meet Pinky and the Brain who want to rule the universe.
Goodfeathers flock together; Slappy whacks 'em with her purse.
Buttons chases Mindy, while Rita sings a verse.
The writers flipped; we have no script; why bother to rehearse?
We have pay-or-play contracts.
We're zany to the max
There's baloney in our slacks.
There’s the wheezing Rainey
Animaniacs! Those are the facts
- - - -
Jarod was walking down a street in Burbank, California, looking at a map. He had just arrived from the airport and was trying to figure out where his apartment was located so he could get started on his latest Pretend, but he wasn’t having much luck. He turned around when he heard a loud commotion, and blinked repeatedly at the sight before him.
He saw three . . . well, he wasn’t sure what to call them, but they looked almost like small, dogs running on their hind legs. The tallest one was wearing just a pair of brown pants with a black belt. The second was wearing just a light blue, over-sized shirt and a red baseball cap on backwards. The third was a girl (at least, Jarod hoped it was a girl), wearing a pink skirt and a flower on her head. And, to top that, they were animated. They looked absolutely terrified as they head head-on into Jarod, the four of them tumbling to the ground.
Jarod shook his head, then slowly sat up. He was a little confused to see stars circling his head. “Ow,” he moaned, rubbing his head.
“Yeah, no joke,” the one with the pants said, rubbing his head. He glanced at the other two. “You guys okay?”
“I can’t take this running anymore,” the one with the cap said with a British accent.
“Running?” Jarod asked, instantly forgetting his pain. He sat up and looked at the three. “Who are you running from?”
“Why don’t they leave us alone?” the girl asked dramatically. She twirled around, instantly changing her attire into a long, black tattered robe. She began sobbing, her voice changing to a cockney accent. “We’re just poor children, really we are. We’ve done nothing wrong, sir. We’re innocent!”
Jarod’s heart went out to them; he knew what is was like to be chased. “Look, maybe I can help you,” he said.
The trio’s expressions instantly cheered up, the girl changing back to her formal attire. “You really can?” they asked at the same time.
“Sure, why not?” Jarod replied.
“Ahh . . . I think they went this way!” a goofy male voice said. The four looked up and saw a fat, police officer appear from around a corner, heading their way. He was running at full speed, carrying a net, and looking very unhappy. The trio looked around for a place to hide.
“There’s no place to hide!” the girl said.
The one with the brown pants sized up Jarod. “Well, almost no place,” he said. Before Jarod could react, the trio jumped inside his leather jacket pockets, startling Jarod just as the officer came running up.
“Uh . . . did you see three warners run dis way?” he asked.
Jarod quickly composed himself. “Uh, yeah.” He pointed down the street. “They went that way.”
“Thank you.” The police office took off running, holding his net. “I’m goings ta get yous!”
Jarod watched him as he ran off and disappeared around another corner. He glanced at his pockets. “Um . . . he’s gone . . .” The trio jumped out of his pockets and started jumping around, cheering. Then they jumped into Jarod’s arms and kissed him on the lips. Jarod quickly dropped them, wiping his mouth and sputtering.
“Thank you so much!” the one with the pants said. “Whoever you are.”
“I’m Jarod,” the Pretender replied.
“I’m Yakko,” the one with the pants said.
“I’m Wakko,” the one with the baseball cap replied.
And I’m CUTE!” the girl replied, batting her eyelashes.
“Actually, she’s Dot,” Yakko added.
“Uh, nice to meet you,” Jarod replied slowly. “So, who are you?”
“We’re the Warner Brothers,” Yakko and Wakko said.
“And the Warner Sister,” Dot added.
“And we owe you a debt of gratitude,” Yakko replied. “Name your price, and we’ll do it.”
“Why was that officer chasing you?” Jarod asked.
“The Warner Studios thinks we’re a menace to society,” Dot answered. “As if.”
“So, they keep up locked in the water tower,” Yakko added. “But it’s all a sham, really. Everyday it’s the same old, same old. We run, they chase. It’s starting to get boring. We need something new to do.”
“Something new to see!” Dot said.
“Something new to eat!” Wakko added.
Jarod cocked his head to the side, thinking. Then he grinned mischievously. “You know, there is something good can do for me, if you want. You see, I’m on the run too, and I was wondering if you would do me a small favor.”
“Just name it, Jarod,” Yakko said. Jarod leaned over, and the four got into a small huddle. They whispered and talked, then the Warners started giggling as they broke up.
“Consider it done,” the trio said gleefully.
(End of Chapter 1)