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She could pinpoint the exact day, the exact moment when she'd become pregnant. It was a pity that she'd been unconscious at the time, she'd always enjoyed the act that usually accompanied the process. She laughed mirthlessly, a laugh to swallow the sob that was trying to escape her throat. Pregnant. She ran her hands over her face, bringing her fingers to rest against her lips as her eyes stared unfocused into the distance. She'd known for days now. The news just wouldn't settle, she couldn't comprehend the enormity of it. Raines had told her. *Told* her, like it was a way of her proving herself to them. They'd made her pregnant.

She'd gone for the mandatory yearly physical, she thought they were going to take a blood sample, she hadn't been watching the needle, she should have known better. She'd woken up and been told that she'd fainted. She should have known. Of course she should have, it was the Center. But she'd let it pass, her mind occupied with a million other things, or just one, one man and not for the reasons that they it should have been. A lot of things should have been. But right now she couldn't think of any of it.

She'd stood there as he'd told her that she was bearing Jarod's child and the only thought that had entered her mind was his words in the limo on the airstrip "Is that what you want to pass on to your children?". At the time she'd wanted to laugh at him. Children? Who did he think that she was? Mommy dearest? And yet here she sat at an hour that was no more night then day, a life inside her. She felt the nausea build and standing on shaking legs she made her way to the bathroom.

When she emerged she wasn't surprised to see him standing there. She didn't know whether to be overjoyed that she wasn't startled at his presence or frustrated at the reminder that there was another thing that she apparently had not control over. She had claimed the ground just passed the doorway, her hands fidgeting at her sides. He was staring at her with such intensity. She'd never seen it from him before, she thought she'd seen it all at some time in their lives or another. This look was new, it was searching and possessive and compassionate and felt like it was boring into her essence, like he was inside of her. It caused her to fidget more.

Sydney must have told him. She was annoyed with herself that she felt disappointed that it hadn't been her.

He moved closer to her, a small step to gauge her reaction. She made none. He positioned himself in front of her, his eyes never leaving her face.

He had hold of her waist, his hands now pushing her shirt up, an inch above her navel as he dropped to his knees in front of her. One hand held the shirt in place, the other now spread open fingered across her abdomen. She stilled. She didn't know what to do, didn't know what he was doing. His fingers moved slightly to be replaced by his mouth. His lips touched her skin in a single place, holding there in longer then a kiss, shorter then a caress. She heard him whisper to the life that was growing inside her. An introduction. Her own hand came unconsciously to rest in his hair. He was talking to her child, their child. A child no more then a bundle of cells inside her, a life they'd had no say in creating but inextricably part of each of them. Her head fell back and her eyes closed.

The quiet and intimacy of his act was swallowed by the anger that arose within her. She pushed him away, suddenly, he lost balance and fell back. She readjusted her shirt and folded her arms in front of her, closing herself off. No one had asked her if she wanted this, the Centre had made her decision for her, they were using her, using him. It wasn't enough to create a child with his DNA, they had to use her, try to capture her inner sense, she told herself that was the reason they had chosen her. It wasn't. Not wholly. They both knew that they would never have used another surrogat. It had to be her. They were using *her* against him, using her as bait to lure him in. And here he sat, still on the floor, looking at her with confusion and hurt. Yet understanding. He understood her rage and he felt it too.

They had yet to speak. She moved further into the corner of the room, wrapping her arms tighter around herself. She loathed the tears that were clawing at her to escape, she loathed herself for not being in control and at that very moment she loathed him for not being out of it.

"Get out" She wanted him to leave, to go before she broke.

He stood again. "No. Parker...."

"No, Jarod, No, don't...don't do this, don't come here and act like this changes anything, like this magics away everything, because it doesn't."

"I won't let you push me away Parker, not this time, it's my child too."

She inhaled sharply. She thought her chest would collapse with the pain, he was only here for the baby, why did it hurt so much? She was suppossed to hate him.

"I want you to go" Her voice was even, as she tried to convince them both.

His hands appeared on her arms, she tried to shrug them off, to move away, to stop the burning on her skin that they caused. He held tighter, turning her around.

"Its *our* child. I'm not leaving. I'm not leaving *you*"

She jerked away violently and turned to at glare at him "Don't you get it wonderboy?! Thats exactly what they want!" Her voice rose with ever word that passed her mouth. "They want you to be here" she was practically shouted "this is how they're going to get you, its all a trap Jarod, I'm amazed that I haven't been sequestered there already for you to try and rescue. They know you'd never be able to walk away from...". From a part of your family. She hung her head, unable to say the words out loud, it was too personal. But even unspoken they managed to hang in the air.

"They wouldn't need to get you pregnant for me to come for you, and you're an idiot Parker if you think otherwise"

Parker shoved him away and took a step back. It was too much all at once, she couldn't have this conversation with him right now, she needed more time to clear her head. She ran a hand through her hair and moved to sit on the bed away from him. His eyes never left her, but this time he made no move to get closer, he knew she needed the physical space right now. He'd put a foot too far with his outburst, she wasn't ready for what he was trying to tell her, and he knew in his heart, that right now, *they* weren't ready for it. The connection that he felt to her went beyond anything that even he was capable of understanding, that in itself was complicated enough given their lives, now they had a whole new problem. He mentally shook himself.

No, complication, but not a problem, I refuse to think of our child as a problem.

The silence between them was palpable.

"We need to decide what to do" Jarod's voice was low, but rang loud in her ears.

"There is no *we* Jarod, this is my decision, I won't have a child forced on me, I wasn't asked, I wasn't consulted, this was done *to* me and I won't be a party to it. The first chance I get, this child is gone" Her tone was flat, monotoned. In the seconds that he'd been staring at her she'd shut down completely. She was out of control and this was her way of trying to regain it.

"Parker.."

"No, no more talking. Just get out"

"I won't let you do this"

"LET me?! You bastard" It erupted from inside of her. She was on her feet again before he knew it, her fist striking his face before he had time to react and for the second time that evening he found himself on her floor. "Don't you DARE try and tell me what to do Lab Rat, this, ALL of this is your fault. If you hadn't escaped in the first place then none of this would be happening right now" She was pacing as her tirade built, hands shaking, eyes wild. "Goddamn you Jarod, you're just as bad as they are. I don't want this *freak* growing inside of me" At the word her hand gripped her stomach and in doing so the reality of what was happened to her, to them at that moment hit her and she stopped. She was breathing uneasily. She couldn't focus. She couldn't think. She was starting to panic.

"And if they'd asked?"

She heard his voice, somewhere outside her clouding mind she heard him ask but she didn't understand. She swallowed to try and regain some moisture in her now dry throat.

"What?"

"If they'd asked you to do it, would you have?" His words were measured.

"No, of course not, don't be so ridiculous"

"Why is it ridiculous? You said yourself, its the perfect plan, knock you up with my child, let me find out, then sit back and watch me come running."

"If I'd known about it then they wouldn't have needed to get me pregnant genuise, I could have just lied, we could have planted false records, you'd still have come running, this way, they get a home made pretender to boot."

"It wouldn't have worked."

Her eyes narrowed but her tone lacked its previous venom. "What makes you so sure wonderboy?"

He gingerly took a step towards her, he could see the remnants of panic still in her eyes and knew he needed to tread carefully. "Because you can't lie to me."
She shook her head in disbelief. The contradiction was in her mouth but his words emerged first "Anymore then I can lie to you."

Damn him

"You're scared. And you're out of control and I understand if you want to" he paused to take a breath to steady himself "terminate because you don't want to be a mother, or a least a mother to my child" She eyes flicked to his briefly "but please don't do something just to strike back at them, or at me. I'll do whatever you want, Parker, everything on your terms." He was gradually getting closer to her, until he was less then an arms reach away. "Whatever you want Parker."

A tear rolled down her cheek, and she swiped at it, disgusted with herself in that moment. She was silent for a long time, thinking. Turning everything over in her head. "I can't deal with you here right now."

He considered her for a moment, and kept his word - her terms. "I'll go" He moved to pick up a black back pack that he'd obviously brought with him, she hadn't even noticed it until then. Somewhere in her brain it registered that he was leaving her house without question and that she didn't think that she'd meant that, she called out his name and he stalled.

"I meant *here*, in my bedroom. You" She faltered for a second "you can stay in the guest room" She didn't look at him, she couldn't. His eyes would be her undoing and she couldn't handle that right now.

He let go of a deep breath and even though she wasn't looking she sensed his shoulders drop with relief. She knew he wanted to say something but he merely murmured for her to try and get some sleep before closing the door behind him.

End of part 1









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