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Disclaimer: The characters of the Pretender - Jarod, Sydney yadda yadda yadda ,Miss Parker, are owned by NBC et all. Hawkeye and his friends at MASH 4077 belong to FOX productions. No intention to harm 'em -- just to extend their fame.
It Takes One To Know One
By Gables
~~~~~
San Girolamo Hospital
Jarod opened his red book and re-read the headlines, "Patients Harmed by Faulty Equipment" "Equip Ok Says Maker" "Patient Dies When Machine Quits" The problem finally caught his attention yesterday. A number of vital machines were failing at key points during patient's recoveries. The manufactures were puzzled, because every time they sent an inspector, the machine passed with flying colors. Jarod suspected sabotage, and it usually led to one thing: money.
"Dr. Livingston I presume?" The man laughed at his seemingly original joke.
Jarod closed his booklet and looked up smiling.
"Ahh, I bet you get that all the time" The personal director smiled again. He was in his 50s, and looked like he was sick of his job.
"Well, not *all* the time" Jarod smiled again knowingly.
"Well, your records look great, when can you start?'
"Whenever."
"OK then, I'll call somebody to give you a tour and put you on rotation. I tell ya, being the newbie won't be fun, and that will be you until next year. You are the second doctor in two weeks that I've hired, and I won't be hiring anybody else until negotiations start again!"
"You hired another doctor recently?" Jarod's eyebrows raised and a suspicion flag went up in his head.
"Yeah, I hired Dr. Casey two weeks ago. I bet he'll be happy not to be the young guy anymore!" The man laughed again at his joke.
"Thank you Mr. Carragie Have a nice day." The two men shook hands and Jarod exited to find the cardiac unit.
~~~~~
The next day
Cardiac Unit
"Dr. Livingston huh? Nice name. I'm Dr. Casey."
Jarod looked at the man in from of him. He looked 75. He was overweight and had little hair left. On his nose sat thick glasses in black frames.
"Hello Dr. Casey. Please, call me Jarod."
"Sure Jarod. Tell me, where'd you come from?"
"Excuse me?"
"Where did you come from? This isn't a very big hospital, and despite having an excellent success rate, it's not very well known. So I'm just wondering if you are moving up, or down."
Jarod nodded and smiled. He decided that Dr. Casey was not likely his culprit. "Just moving." He replied with a twinkle in his eye.
Dr. Casey smiled back.. Both of the knew that the conversation was going to end there, but it wasn't a problem because a nurse came up to them.
"Dr. Casey, Dr. Livingston, do you two know about our holiday party? It's tomorrow night. There is only one rule, you have to bring food to get food." The nurse smiled and looked directly at Jarod.
He just smiled innocently back, "Sure sounds good. What type of food should I bring?"
"Well, something homemade would be better, but the doctors either never have the time or never put the effort out to do so."
"Well I'll see what I can do." Jarod smiled once more and continued his rounds.
~~~~~
Miss Parker's Office
"What?" Jarod heard the tell-tale sign of Miss Parker's phone.
"Miss Parker. I have a question, what do you bring to the Centre holiday party?"
"Holiday Party, Jarod?" At that phrase Sydney and Broots looked at her.
"Yes, I've been invited to a staff party, but I don't know what to bring. Any suggestions?"
"Alcohol" she said before she could stop herself.
"Alcohol huh? And what does Sydney bring?"
She looked at the psychiatrist. "Sydney doesn't bring anything. He leaves before the party."
"Party, Miss Parker?" Sydney raised an eyebrow.
"Here Syd, your labrat needs cooking advice." She thrust the phone at him.
"Hello Jarod." Sydney was smiling when he spoke, because he had an idea what Jarod asked Miss Parker
"Sydney. What should I bring to a staff party?"
"What type of people are they?"
"Nobody who would work at the Centre, so maybe I should ignore Miss Parker's suggestion."
"That might be wise Jarod."
"Well, Merry Christmas Sydney. Tell Miss Parker, Mr. Broots and his daughter too." Jarod disconnected the phone and a smiling Sydney returned the phone back to Miss Parker.
"Well Syd, what did he say?"
"He said Merry Christmas Miss Parker, and to you and your daughter, Broots."
"Ahh gee" Broots smiled, happy that Jarod remembered his family.
"Ugh, please" Miss Parker replaced the phone on her belt and walked back to her desk.
~~~~~
Jarod's Lair
Jarod looked up some recipes on the internet, and decided to cook sweet and sour chicken appetizers. Even though he got off work at 3:00 am, he stayed up and cooked. He finally finished at 5:30 am. He had a short shift today, only working from 12:00 to 7:00 PM. Not being a big sleeper, Jarod calculated that he had about three hours before he needed to get some sleep.
He logged back on the computer and spent the time going over the personal files of all the doctors. Only one caught his eye, and he was sad at the result. Jarod leaned back in his chair, contemplating.
"Dr. Casey, what are you doing there?"
~~~~~
The Cardiac Unit
7:07 PM
Jarod finished his round and entered the staff lounge. He happily noticed that most of his chicken was gone. The nurse who invited him came walked up chewing on a piece.
"Jarod, where did you *find* these?"
"The recipe is off the internet. I can give it to you if you like."
"Oh my, you mean these are homemade? Your wife must be a gourmet chef!"
"I'm not married" He was not interested in her, and frankly wanted her to leave. There was only one person at this party who Jarod wanted to talk to.
"Really?"
"Uhh excuse me Jannie," Jarod briefly nodded his head at her, then walked over to Dr. Casey.
"Jarod. How are you tonight?"
"Good, good. Tell me Dr. Casey, where do you come from?"
"Excuse me?"
"Well I was just wondering if you were going up or down."
"Down I suppose. I'm too old to do hands on work anymore, I just do consulting. But they let me do that because I pass all their senility tests" The doctor smiled with triumph.
"Why don't you just retire?"
"Ahh, I tried that once, got too boring."
Jarod nodded and looked around the room, to attempt like he was thinking of something to say.
"You don't seem like a real doctor." Jarod's statement was a true accusation, but he said it flippantly.
"Oh? Why's that?"
"Well your history is a bit splotchy. You last hospital didn't have very good records on your employment."
"Oh is that so? Well you know Dr. Livingston, *you* don't seem like a real doctor either."
Jarod's mind panicked for a moment, nobody had ever accused him before.
"Oh? Why's that?"
"Because only people with something to hide search their co-workers' profiles so in-depth."
The two men stared at each other for a moment.
"Jarod, why don't we leave and go get a drink? There is a bar down the street where we can talk." Dr. Casey's manner was cautious, but still fun-going
"Ok Dr. Casey" Jarod's manner however, was dark.
~~~~~
Madox Bar
Jarod ordered a beer, but kept it on the table. Dr. Casey ordered a dry martini.
"Ok Jarod, who's going to confess first? Why both know that neither one of us is a licensed doctor, so the question is, why?"
"I'm here to help David Brown's family."
"Ahh the boy that died due to the heart monitor that broke. Yep, I understand."
"Do you know why it broke?"
"Nope. I just - make sure that it doesn't happen to my patients."
"So you know why I'm here, mind telling me what you are doing?"
"You thought I was the one fiddling with the machines huh? Ahh, I guess that's reasonable, the failures started right about the time I was hired. But the truth is, I don't know what happening. I'm at the hospital to give offer my advice only."
"I don't understand."
"I don't think I missed the mark on you Jarod. You and I are a like. I've never held the same job for more than two months. I've had more professions than days in a year."
Jarod hesitated. "You're not, from the Centre are you?"
"The Centre? Nope. Never worked there."
Relieved, Jarod relaxed his position and got ready to listen to the man's tale.
"I can do what I want, but I never had the patience to do it officially. I skipped around the army for a while, their books are so messed up that changing my identity was easy. I served in Korea *and* Vietnam. Whoa, what a party. So who are you?"
"I was taken from my home when I was young. I was taught to "pretend" as I call it. I too can do anything I want."
"So know, you are out these using your super powers to better mankind? Right the wrong type of thing? Excellent goal. Very ambitious. You get your job and the extra mystery bonus. I myself never did that. I just chose a job then moved on when I was bored."
"Will you help me find the saboteur?"
"Yeah sure, why not? I'd suggest you look at the patients family's rather than the hospital staff. The staff is great, from the top rung to the bottom rung."
"Thank you, Dr. Casey."
~~~~~
Cardiac Unit
Four days later
Jarod watched David Brown's brother be taken away by the police. The mystery was solved. The brother wanted to kill David, but felt as though he couldn't just tamper with the one machine. He thought that by disrupting the rest of them, the hospital would be responsible for David's death, and the brother would get the insurance money. Since he was by his brother's bedside so often, he knew when the inspectors were coming so that he could cover his tampering.
Jarod then turned around and found Dr. Casey.
"I'm leaving now."
"Where you going now? Firefighter? Explorer? I don't have the body to do those anymore; or the eyesight."
"I think I'll go skiing. I sure do love the snow. This is for the woman I told you about. She should be here shortly."
"You know what Jarod? I once met a doctor in Korea. I was working in a MASH unit. This guy was the most talented doctor around, and funny guy too. He was the one who found me out. He told me that if I left the camp then I'd be free, but to never touch a patient again until I got a license. I feel a bit bad that I never got a license, but then again, I've never touched a patience, -- only done consulting. Anyway, I'll never forget the last thing he said to me. You've got to understand that that camp was crazy, everybody there was either elbow deep in blood or trying to forget that they were in a war. So he says to me, 'In a place crawling with characters, you certainly held your own.' " And let me tell you, Hawkeye *was* the biggest character you'd ever see. So the point is Jarod, we've all got to do what it takes to fit in, and you just go on doing what you are doing. You'll help a lot more people that way."
"Dr. Casey.."
"Actually my name is Swartz, Casey is the name I use when I'm a doctor.. easier on my old memory."
Jarod laughed, "OK Dr. Swartz, I never thought that I would meet a person like me. I've sometimes felt guilty about not getting into my professions 'by the books' but you have certainly made me feel better."
"Have a good life Jarod. There is so much to do, and I don't see any harm in trying to touch it all."
~~~~~
One hour later
Miss Parker entered the cardiac unit with Sydney and Broots in wake.
Dr. Casey walked right up to them smiling. "Miss Parker I presume?" He chuckled. "Dr. Livingston asked me to give you this."
He handed her a small book. She opened it up and read the title page. In Jarod handwriting was printed, "Ideas for the Centre Holiday Party." The index listed a recipe for everybody: Mincemeat Pie for Lyle, Devils Food Cake for Raines, Goat Cheese for Sydney, Chocolate Chip Cookies for Broots, and a recipe titled 'Miss Parker's Sweet and Sour.' She flipped to her namesake recipe. And the bottom Jarod wrote, "Watch out for these, because you first taste the sweetness, but then comes the sourness. They always leaves you with that bad impression, but also yearning for more."
Miss Parker looked up right at Dr. Casey. "Do you have any idea where he's going?"
"Nope, but I hope he doesn't give up cooking. Parker's Sweet 'n' Sour chicken was the hit of the party. Everybody kept wondering who Miss Parker was, and whether or not Jarod liked her."
When she didn't reply, Dr. Casey looked to Broots and Sydney. Neither one of them answer either.
"Well I could have guessed as much, because when we asked him, all he said was 'She is nothing if not saucy.' " Dr. Casey laughed again.
Miss Parker rolled her eyes and exited the room, followed by a smirking Broots and Sydney.
~~~~~
The End
Yes, for those who are wondering, There really was a M*A*S*H episode with Dr. Casey. The guy said he'd been a teacher, a lawyer, and an engineer, but never "had the patience to do it by the books." The good doctor left Hawkeye, promising not to practice without a license again, but also left Hawkeye dumbfounded, because he already had his next profession picked out, chaplain - on his color instead of the medical insignia, sat a cross. Dr. Casey left Hawkeye saying, "Good bye my son."
Now if that isn't the origins of tP...
Until Next Time, same bat time, same bat webpage :) :)
Feedback please
By Gables
~~~~~
San Girolamo Hospital
Jarod opened his red book and re-read the headlines, "Patients Harmed by Faulty Equipment" "Equip Ok Says Maker" "Patient Dies When Machine Quits" The problem finally caught his attention yesterday. A number of vital machines were failing at key points during patient's recoveries. The manufactures were puzzled, because every time they sent an inspector, the machine passed with flying colors. Jarod suspected sabotage, and it usually led to one thing: money.
"Dr. Livingston I presume?" The man laughed at his seemingly original joke.
Jarod closed his booklet and looked up smiling.
"Ahh, I bet you get that all the time" The personal director smiled again. He was in his 50s, and looked like he was sick of his job.
"Well, not *all* the time" Jarod smiled again knowingly.
"Well, your records look great, when can you start?'
"Whenever."
"OK then, I'll call somebody to give you a tour and put you on rotation. I tell ya, being the newbie won't be fun, and that will be you until next year. You are the second doctor in two weeks that I've hired, and I won't be hiring anybody else until negotiations start again!"
"You hired another doctor recently?" Jarod's eyebrows raised and a suspicion flag went up in his head.
"Yeah, I hired Dr. Casey two weeks ago. I bet he'll be happy not to be the young guy anymore!" The man laughed again at his joke.
"Thank you Mr. Carragie Have a nice day." The two men shook hands and Jarod exited to find the cardiac unit.
~~~~~
The next day
Cardiac Unit
"Dr. Livingston huh? Nice name. I'm Dr. Casey."
Jarod looked at the man in from of him. He looked 75. He was overweight and had little hair left. On his nose sat thick glasses in black frames.
"Hello Dr. Casey. Please, call me Jarod."
"Sure Jarod. Tell me, where'd you come from?"
"Excuse me?"
"Where did you come from? This isn't a very big hospital, and despite having an excellent success rate, it's not very well known. So I'm just wondering if you are moving up, or down."
Jarod nodded and smiled. He decided that Dr. Casey was not likely his culprit. "Just moving." He replied with a twinkle in his eye.
Dr. Casey smiled back.. Both of the knew that the conversation was going to end there, but it wasn't a problem because a nurse came up to them.
"Dr. Casey, Dr. Livingston, do you two know about our holiday party? It's tomorrow night. There is only one rule, you have to bring food to get food." The nurse smiled and looked directly at Jarod.
He just smiled innocently back, "Sure sounds good. What type of food should I bring?"
"Well, something homemade would be better, but the doctors either never have the time or never put the effort out to do so."
"Well I'll see what I can do." Jarod smiled once more and continued his rounds.
~~~~~
Miss Parker's Office
"What?" Jarod heard the tell-tale sign of Miss Parker's phone.
"Miss Parker. I have a question, what do you bring to the Centre holiday party?"
"Holiday Party, Jarod?" At that phrase Sydney and Broots looked at her.
"Yes, I've been invited to a staff party, but I don't know what to bring. Any suggestions?"
"Alcohol" she said before she could stop herself.
"Alcohol huh? And what does Sydney bring?"
She looked at the psychiatrist. "Sydney doesn't bring anything. He leaves before the party."
"Party, Miss Parker?" Sydney raised an eyebrow.
"Here Syd, your labrat needs cooking advice." She thrust the phone at him.
"Hello Jarod." Sydney was smiling when he spoke, because he had an idea what Jarod asked Miss Parker
"Sydney. What should I bring to a staff party?"
"What type of people are they?"
"Nobody who would work at the Centre, so maybe I should ignore Miss Parker's suggestion."
"That might be wise Jarod."
"Well, Merry Christmas Sydney. Tell Miss Parker, Mr. Broots and his daughter too." Jarod disconnected the phone and a smiling Sydney returned the phone back to Miss Parker.
"Well Syd, what did he say?"
"He said Merry Christmas Miss Parker, and to you and your daughter, Broots."
"Ahh gee" Broots smiled, happy that Jarod remembered his family.
"Ugh, please" Miss Parker replaced the phone on her belt and walked back to her desk.
~~~~~
Jarod's Lair
Jarod looked up some recipes on the internet, and decided to cook sweet and sour chicken appetizers. Even though he got off work at 3:00 am, he stayed up and cooked. He finally finished at 5:30 am. He had a short shift today, only working from 12:00 to 7:00 PM. Not being a big sleeper, Jarod calculated that he had about three hours before he needed to get some sleep.
He logged back on the computer and spent the time going over the personal files of all the doctors. Only one caught his eye, and he was sad at the result. Jarod leaned back in his chair, contemplating.
"Dr. Casey, what are you doing there?"
~~~~~
The Cardiac Unit
7:07 PM
Jarod finished his round and entered the staff lounge. He happily noticed that most of his chicken was gone. The nurse who invited him came walked up chewing on a piece.
"Jarod, where did you *find* these?"
"The recipe is off the internet. I can give it to you if you like."
"Oh my, you mean these are homemade? Your wife must be a gourmet chef!"
"I'm not married" He was not interested in her, and frankly wanted her to leave. There was only one person at this party who Jarod wanted to talk to.
"Really?"
"Uhh excuse me Jannie," Jarod briefly nodded his head at her, then walked over to Dr. Casey.
"Jarod. How are you tonight?"
"Good, good. Tell me Dr. Casey, where do you come from?"
"Excuse me?"
"Well I was just wondering if you were going up or down."
"Down I suppose. I'm too old to do hands on work anymore, I just do consulting. But they let me do that because I pass all their senility tests" The doctor smiled with triumph.
"Why don't you just retire?"
"Ahh, I tried that once, got too boring."
Jarod nodded and looked around the room, to attempt like he was thinking of something to say.
"You don't seem like a real doctor." Jarod's statement was a true accusation, but he said it flippantly.
"Oh? Why's that?"
"Well your history is a bit splotchy. You last hospital didn't have very good records on your employment."
"Oh is that so? Well you know Dr. Livingston, *you* don't seem like a real doctor either."
Jarod's mind panicked for a moment, nobody had ever accused him before.
"Oh? Why's that?"
"Because only people with something to hide search their co-workers' profiles so in-depth."
The two men stared at each other for a moment.
"Jarod, why don't we leave and go get a drink? There is a bar down the street where we can talk." Dr. Casey's manner was cautious, but still fun-going
"Ok Dr. Casey" Jarod's manner however, was dark.
~~~~~
Madox Bar
Jarod ordered a beer, but kept it on the table. Dr. Casey ordered a dry martini.
"Ok Jarod, who's going to confess first? Why both know that neither one of us is a licensed doctor, so the question is, why?"
"I'm here to help David Brown's family."
"Ahh the boy that died due to the heart monitor that broke. Yep, I understand."
"Do you know why it broke?"
"Nope. I just - make sure that it doesn't happen to my patients."
"So you know why I'm here, mind telling me what you are doing?"
"You thought I was the one fiddling with the machines huh? Ahh, I guess that's reasonable, the failures started right about the time I was hired. But the truth is, I don't know what happening. I'm at the hospital to give offer my advice only."
"I don't understand."
"I don't think I missed the mark on you Jarod. You and I are a like. I've never held the same job for more than two months. I've had more professions than days in a year."
Jarod hesitated. "You're not, from the Centre are you?"
"The Centre? Nope. Never worked there."
Relieved, Jarod relaxed his position and got ready to listen to the man's tale.
"I can do what I want, but I never had the patience to do it officially. I skipped around the army for a while, their books are so messed up that changing my identity was easy. I served in Korea *and* Vietnam. Whoa, what a party. So who are you?"
"I was taken from my home when I was young. I was taught to "pretend" as I call it. I too can do anything I want."
"So know, you are out these using your super powers to better mankind? Right the wrong type of thing? Excellent goal. Very ambitious. You get your job and the extra mystery bonus. I myself never did that. I just chose a job then moved on when I was bored."
"Will you help me find the saboteur?"
"Yeah sure, why not? I'd suggest you look at the patients family's rather than the hospital staff. The staff is great, from the top rung to the bottom rung."
"Thank you, Dr. Casey."
~~~~~
Cardiac Unit
Four days later
Jarod watched David Brown's brother be taken away by the police. The mystery was solved. The brother wanted to kill David, but felt as though he couldn't just tamper with the one machine. He thought that by disrupting the rest of them, the hospital would be responsible for David's death, and the brother would get the insurance money. Since he was by his brother's bedside so often, he knew when the inspectors were coming so that he could cover his tampering.
Jarod then turned around and found Dr. Casey.
"I'm leaving now."
"Where you going now? Firefighter? Explorer? I don't have the body to do those anymore; or the eyesight."
"I think I'll go skiing. I sure do love the snow. This is for the woman I told you about. She should be here shortly."
"You know what Jarod? I once met a doctor in Korea. I was working in a MASH unit. This guy was the most talented doctor around, and funny guy too. He was the one who found me out. He told me that if I left the camp then I'd be free, but to never touch a patient again until I got a license. I feel a bit bad that I never got a license, but then again, I've never touched a patience, -- only done consulting. Anyway, I'll never forget the last thing he said to me. You've got to understand that that camp was crazy, everybody there was either elbow deep in blood or trying to forget that they were in a war. So he says to me, 'In a place crawling with characters, you certainly held your own.' " And let me tell you, Hawkeye *was* the biggest character you'd ever see. So the point is Jarod, we've all got to do what it takes to fit in, and you just go on doing what you are doing. You'll help a lot more people that way."
"Dr. Casey.."
"Actually my name is Swartz, Casey is the name I use when I'm a doctor.. easier on my old memory."
Jarod laughed, "OK Dr. Swartz, I never thought that I would meet a person like me. I've sometimes felt guilty about not getting into my professions 'by the books' but you have certainly made me feel better."
"Have a good life Jarod. There is so much to do, and I don't see any harm in trying to touch it all."
~~~~~
One hour later
Miss Parker entered the cardiac unit with Sydney and Broots in wake.
Dr. Casey walked right up to them smiling. "Miss Parker I presume?" He chuckled. "Dr. Livingston asked me to give you this."
He handed her a small book. She opened it up and read the title page. In Jarod handwriting was printed, "Ideas for the Centre Holiday Party." The index listed a recipe for everybody: Mincemeat Pie for Lyle, Devils Food Cake for Raines, Goat Cheese for Sydney, Chocolate Chip Cookies for Broots, and a recipe titled 'Miss Parker's Sweet and Sour.' She flipped to her namesake recipe. And the bottom Jarod wrote, "Watch out for these, because you first taste the sweetness, but then comes the sourness. They always leaves you with that bad impression, but also yearning for more."
Miss Parker looked up right at Dr. Casey. "Do you have any idea where he's going?"
"Nope, but I hope he doesn't give up cooking. Parker's Sweet 'n' Sour chicken was the hit of the party. Everybody kept wondering who Miss Parker was, and whether or not Jarod liked her."
When she didn't reply, Dr. Casey looked to Broots and Sydney. Neither one of them answer either.
"Well I could have guessed as much, because when we asked him, all he said was 'She is nothing if not saucy.' " Dr. Casey laughed again.
Miss Parker rolled her eyes and exited the room, followed by a smirking Broots and Sydney.
~~~~~
The End
Yes, for those who are wondering, There really was a M*A*S*H episode with Dr. Casey. The guy said he'd been a teacher, a lawyer, and an engineer, but never "had the patience to do it by the books." The good doctor left Hawkeye, promising not to practice without a license again, but also left Hawkeye dumbfounded, because he already had his next profession picked out, chaplain - on his color instead of the medical insignia, sat a cross. Dr. Casey left Hawkeye saying, "Good bye my son."
Now if that isn't the origins of tP...
Until Next Time, same bat time, same bat webpage :) :)
Feedback please
