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Chapter or Story 
Chapter or Story
Part 9
Ashe, New York
Margaret laughed softly, but Jarod never moved. "And after that?"
"We played for several hours, until I said that he was keeping me away from two vitally important things that are compulsory in that kind of weather. Naturally, he asked me what they were. I said I'd show him."
"And those two things are? As if I couldn't guess..."
"So you haven't forgotten?" Helen smiled. "I did wonder..."
"Helen, if those two things aren't hot cocoa and an open fire to bask in front of, I'll never speak to you again."
"What would you do if I said you were wrong?"
"I'd get angry with you for lying."
"You're right. It was the first open fire I'd had since bringing him to my house and he stared into it for ages."
"Well, that would have made two of you. If anybody can stare dreamily into leaping flames better than you, I'll be very surprised."
"Just because you talked to me for twenty minutes and I never heard a word..."
"And you even made little acquiescent noises as if you were listening."
"You know," Helen looked at Margaret thoughtfully, "I never picked you as being the type to hold grudges."
"Just tell me what you did next."
"We spent the rest of the day inside. Just after we came in, it started to snow and I wouldn't let him go outside in it for more than ten minutes. Of all the new things he had to experience, I thought influenza was probably one of the least pleasant. And you're right. After we finished our fire gazing, we played games - board and card games - for the whole day. We also drank nearly all the cocoa I had here. I don't know if you remember how much I like it, but Eddie liked it even more than me."
"Not possible."
"Not only possible, but actual. Still, after more than thirty years of no sweet things, the way I make cocoa..."
"So the spoon dissolves from the amount of sugar?"
"Just like that, yes. Well, he drank two mugs to every one of mine and, after I told him I only drank it when it snowed, made me teach him how to make it so he wouldn't have to wait for that sort of weather to have it himself."
Margaret looked down at her son. "I suppose Jarod was like that, too, at first."
"I don't think he's changed all that much." Helen smiled. "I hid his bag so you wouldn't see all the junk food inside it, but he's definitely addicted to PEZ and he probably won't object when he learns ice cream is my recommended invalid diet."
"Have you gone shopping yet?"
"No, but I got the supermarket to deliver some groceries around here and I made sure that there was plenty of ice cream included in the order. Jelly too. A little bird told me that that was one of Debbie's favorite foods."
Helen carried the tray into the room and put it down on the little girl's lap, placing the spoon in her eager hand and then lifting the lid. For several seconds Debbie stared at the contents before she looked up and beamed.
"How did you know?"
"A little birdie told me."
"Which birdie?
Broots started whistling as he stared out of the window and Helen nodded in his direction. "That birdie."
Debbie glanced at her father and then at Helen, the spoon already moving up to her mouth. "Isn't he a big birdie, not a little one?"
Hiding her laughter, Helen nodded as she sat on the bed. "I think you may just be right about that. But he's a very useful birdie. He told me how much you love jelly and ice cream, so there's lots of it down in the kitchen."
"How long do I get it for?" The words were muffled and the doctor smiled.
"As long as you don't choke on it, the next few days anyway."
"Is that all?"
"Well, if you and Jarod don't finish it between you, I might have to give you what's left over to take home."
The girl's face fell as she looked up. "We have to go home?"
"Don't you want to go home, Debbie?"
"No." A tear slipped down her face. "I want to stay here. When we go home, you'll be left all alone here and I'll never see you again."
"But when you go home, you'll be able to sleep in your own bed again and see all your friends at school..."
"But you won't be there!" The girl’s voice was a dismal wail as Debbie, ignoring the tray, threw her arms around the woman sitting beside her and began to sob. "I don't want to get better. I want to be sick forever so that you'll be here."
"If you stay sick then your Daddy will be worrying about you. You don't want him to do that, do you?" Helen watched as Broots silently picked up the bowl, using it to scoop the spilled food off the blankets.
"No, but I don't want to leave you either. Everybody else has a mom and I hoped I'd get to keep you as my mom, too. And now you're going to send us home and I'll never see you again."
"Did I say that?" Helen looked down at the small, tear-stained face. "Did I say a single thing about you never seeing me again?"
"But you'll be here and we'll be back in Delaware..."
"And do you know how far away from Delaware we are?"
She felt as Debbie, face buried in Helen's shoulder, shook her head. "We're only two states away. You drive through a bit of New Jersey and a bit of Pennsylvania and then you're in Delaware. It's only a few hours away. Considering I brought you, your dad and Sydney here, do you think I can't drive that little distance and come to visit you a lot?"
"But I won't see you every day, and you won't be able to drive me to school like I was hoping you would, and you won't be there to help me with my homework..."
"Sweetie, even if I did come and leave nearby, I'd still have to work."
"But you'd be able to find time, I know you would. But you can't do that from here; it's too far."
"Debbie, I'm in Delaware, right in Blue Cove, just about every third day and I plan on being there that often in the future too, once everything gets back to normal. I think I'll be able to find time to come and see you during that time."
"How come?"
"How come what, baby?"
"How come you're in Blue Cove so often?"
Helen exchanged amused glances with Broots. "I often visit your Daddy's work."
"Do you help them?"
"Yes," Helen responded slowly. "That's right."
The girl's sobs were less frequent and Helen picked up the blanket, folded on the end of the bed. Wrapping it around Debbie, she stood up and carried her over to the armchair, sitting down while Broots stripped and remade the bed. Gently she began to stroke the girl's hair, holding her close with the other hand, and feeling as her heart rate began to slow down.
"If you don't get better, sweetie, then Miss Parker can't come up and see you and I know that she's looking forward to that. Aren't you looking forward to seeing her too?"
"Not if I don't get to see you afterwards."
"That's just silly, Debbie." Helen's voice became firmer. "You're both going to still be here when you see her again and I'll still be here too. In fact, I'll probably even stay in the room while she's here."
"P… promise?"
"I don't promise because I don't know for sure but I think it's pretty likely." Smiling down at the girl, Helen produced her trump card. "You know that book she gave you?"
"Mmm hmm."
"Well, I've got the others in the series and she could read those to you when you see her. Won't that be nice?"
"Uh huh." Debbie yawned, snuggling into Helen's neck as her eyes closed. "Very nice."
Her voice was drowsy and she let one hand drop down from its position on the back of Helen's neck, finally hanging down against the woman's chest. Within a few moments, the other began to fall as well, slipping along Helen's arm until it was hanging down beside the arm of the chair. As soon as the bed was remade, Helen stood up and gently placed the girl down on it, letting Broots to tuck her in. A sigh escaped her lips as Helen sank into the chair and turned to stare out of the window.
"Miss Parker?"
The woman looked up from her book with a smile. "Is it that time of the day again already? How time flies when you're doing nothing."
Helen laughed. "Well, can I make an appointment in your frantic schedule for you to go up and visit a little girl who wants to see you?"
"What, and disrupt the nine o'clock nap that I somehow squeeze in between that at eight and at ten?" Miss Parker sighed in mock-annoyance. "Let me talk about it with my secretary and I'll get back to you."
"Well don't take too long," Helen laughed as she put the thermometer in the other woman's ear. "If you do, Debbie might fill up her own hectic day."
Miss Parker smiled again. "I'd love to see her, if you think it's safe."
"Well, she's not infectious anymore, and if you're going to get it, you'll have those lovely bacterium infesting your system already. I’ll ask you to keep away from my other patient for another couple of days though."
"Surely Jarod won't be infectious for that much longer than Debbie?"
"No, but he seems to be taking a bit longer to be getting over it than she is. Oh, and Debbie asked if you'd read the other books in the Little Women series, which I also have, when you go up and see her."
"That sounds great." Miss Parker looked at Helen as she sat down on a chair on the other side of the room. "Did you like that series, too?"
"I still do." The doctor smiled. "It was in a package of things that my mother left to be given to me when I turned thirteen. It took a grand total of four days for me to get through all four books."
"How?"
"Reading under the desk in class, under the covers in bed, under the table during meals; every spare moment that I had, I was reading them. I finished the last one during dinner on the fourth night."
"And you didn't get into trouble?"
"When I fell asleep in class the next day, I was slightly less than popular, yes."
The brunette laughed. "I bet you were. And how is Debbie?"
"Well, she's a bit thinner than she was when you last saw her but, with all the ice cream and jelly she's eating, it shouldn't be too long before she's back to normal. She's got a nasty-sounding cough but that's standard for the measles; don't let it worry you. And her skin looks like you could play 'join the dots' on her tummy, but unless you want to suggest it, that's just another thing to ignore. The one thing I'll ask is that you don't encourage her into any vigorous activity. She's still got fairly small reserves of energy and I don't want them tried much yet," Helen smiled. "Clothes shopping, for example, or anything of that sort."
Miss Parker laughed and got off the bed. "I see that it's time somebody was up in the kitchen, making dinner. Has anyone accepted that job yet?"
"Sydney and Broots are doing it. Want to make sure they don't burn my house to the ground?"
"Sure." She smiled. "Is Broots still scared of me?"
"Oh, of course. We'll have to hope that he isn't holding anything when you come up the stairs or he might drop it."
Laughing, the two women headed up into the kitchen.
The Centre
Blue Cove, Delaware
"So we've still heard nothing from Miss Parker or any of the other members of the pursuit team?"
"Not an email. Nor, it might interest you to hear, have we heard from our missing Pretender in all that time."
The first man sneered. "What do you expect him to do, call up to say hello?"
"It seems rather strange that he hasn't shown any concern in the fact that Sydney’s missing."
"What are you suggesting, that Jarod was the one who kidnapped them and sent Miss Parker that email?"
"Well, it's possible, isn't it?"
"And what good can that possibly do him? He can't hold them indefinitely and he hasn't sent a ransom demand thus far. What could he be planning to do?"
"I don't know; that's the problem."
The first man leaned forward, his elbows resting on the marble tabletop with his fingers pressed together. "How long have they been missing exactly?"
"It's going on for two weeks now."
"Fine. They've got one more week. If we don't hear from either Jarod or else one of the team in that time, we'll start scouring the country for them."
Ashe, New York
The light tapping roused Helen from the sleep into which she had just fallen and she rolled over. Recognizing the silhouette in the doorway, she sat up.
"What is it, Sydney?"
"It's Jarod, Helen. It seems like his fever's gone up again, but he's tossing around so much that I can't get an accurate temperature reading."
Getting out of bed, she pulled on her silk bathrobe, and the two doctors hurried up the two flights of stairs to the bedroom. As Sydney had stated, Jarod was tossing violently on the bed, muttering incoherently and inaudibly. Helen took her bag from Sydney and moved to the bedside, glancing at the women in the corner and then at the psychiatrist. Pulling out a stethoscope, she held Jarod down with a gentle hand on his shoulder, moving the instrument across his chest. Two fingers on his neck allowed her to feeling the heightened pulse and Helen flashed a light into his eyes before turning to the other occupants of the room.
"I want to give him a full examination. Will you go downstairs, please? I'll call you when it's over."
Seeing the look of anxiety on Margaret's face, she stepped over and rested one hand on her arm.
"I'll wager my reputation that this isn't anything serious. He'll be fine very soon, I promise."
As the door closed behind the three departing people, she replaced the light back in her bag and pulled the stethoscope away from her throat. Taking a seat in the corner, Helen watched as Jarod continued to toss on the bed in front of her. After several moments, she spoke.
"Okay, Jarod. You and I both know that this is just 'pretend'. Were you worried about losing your touch or is there some other reason for this extreme behaviour that's causing your mother, sister and Sydney to panic so much?"
When he didn't respond, she leaned forward.
"It must have been very irritating for you to hear that Sydney was going downstairs to get me. You knew that I wouldn't be as upset as they were, and that I'd be able to see through it. The fact that you've got enough energy for this little display tells me just how put on your weakness of the last few days has been. You've been saving yourself for it, haven't you, Jarod? In fact, I'd suggest you've had this planned for a while."
The man on the bed quietened, no longer moving so violently, and Helen got up, walking over to glare at him.
"Oh, stop it," she spat. "As I said, we both know this is fake, so it's going to be no great shock to me when you open your eyes."
Jarod lay still for a moment before looking at her. "How did you know?"
"You might be able to fake a delirious episode, but it's virtually impossible to raise your pulse the way it must have been with the other signs. There was no obvious cause either - no pneumonia, no infections, no head injuries. I was always rather good at arithmetic, Jarod, and I never had any problem getting four when I added two and two."
"S… so what are you going to do?"
"You're going to tell me why and then I'll go down and calm your poor mother and sister." Helen glared at him again. "Although you don't deserve me to listen to you, doing that to her or Sydney either. You've probably aged all of them ten years in ten minutes, and it would serve you right if the fear behind this disgusting display tonight were to be fulfilled."
"You...know?"
"I know you're simply pulling a more high-tech version of the tearful begging I heard from Debbie today when she realized that she's going to lose her 'mommy' after she goes back to Delaware. This is the same idea, but I wouldn't have expected to see such a despicably selfish show from a person that usually thinks about other people before himself."
Jarod flinched at the scornful tone in her voice. His voice when he finally spoke was hesitant. "So why are you wanting me to tell you when you already know the reason for it?"
"Because if you have to explain it, you'll realize even more just how deplorable it was. And I want to make sure you know that." She pulled up a chair to the side of the bed and sat down. "I've had patients younger than six with more maturity and consideration than you showed tonight, and all because of a fear that's not really even justified."
"I… it isn't?"
"Has your mother told you she's going to leave when you're well?"
"Well..."
"Yes or no, Jarod. I'm not listening to maybes now."
"No."
"Have you got any reason for thinking that she will?"
"I… I guess…"
Helen slammed a fist on the bedside table, causing both Jarod and the bottle of medicine to jump. "Have you?"
"No," he admitted in a tiny voice.
"So, on the basis of an unjustified fear you pull the most revolting stunt I've ever seen in my whole medical career, and worst of all, you make your own mother frantic; a mother who's seen you on only one other occasion since you were four years old! If you were young enough, Jarod, I'd slap you! For selfish, immature and inconsiderate behaviour, I'm yet to see your equal."
Jarod blushed redder than he had been at any point during his illness and stared at his hands as Helen continued, her voice revealing as much of the disgust she felt as her words.
"I'm not quite sure what you thought it was going to gain either. You must have known that even if Sydney didn't spot this, I would. Do you really think he'd be negligent enough not to call me? I'm your doctor, not him. If he hadn't called me and there really had been something wrong, Margaret could have sued him for every penny he's got! As a man aware of the rules of law, and also with the benefit of several days of planning, not to mention your supposedly heightened mental ability, I wouldn't have expected that point not to register at some stage."
"I… I didn't think…"
"No, I'll say you didn't think! That's probably the most sensible statement that I've ever heard you make. The only possible way for you to have thought less about this is if you'd been in a coma."
"I… I just wanted…" The sharp words made him even more hesitant. "I was… kind of hoping…"
"You were 'kind of hoping' it would lengthen the time your mother, Emily and Sydney were here. You thought about your point of view, but not about their feelings and concerns. Sydney, at least, knows that complications of the measles can be fatal. How do you think he's feeling now, having seen you seemingly raving?"
"Well, I… I thought…" He fell silent and Helen spoke again.
"The fact is that you didn't think at all, did you?"
Jarod hesitated. "No," he confessed finally.
"Good." She folded her arms. "I'm glad you can at least admit that."
After a pause of almost five minutes, Helen spoke again. "So, why did you do it? Let me hear a nice, concise, genius explanation to raise my opinion of you, that, right at this moment, is sinking quicker than the Titanic on fast-forward."
"I don't want to be alone anymore!" The words were almost forced out and Jarod turned eyes on her that begged for understanding. Helen's voice was ice-cold in response.
"I've been alone for several years. You'd cope."
"I don't want to cope! I don't want to leave here and have it all go back to the way it was before, where I only see the people I love more than anything in the world by chance. I want them near me, close to me, so that I can talk to them whenever I want. You can't possibly understand!"
"Oh, can't I?" Helen's tones were hard. "I lost my best friend when Alex murdered him, and I lost contact with my favorite teacher after she tried to protect me from the Centre by not sending letters anymore, meaning that I'll never be able to talk to one of them and I thought I'd never hear from the other again - so tell me, do I understand?"
"M… maybe…"
"Besides all that, what makes you think your mother's going to let you go? She's just got you back again - do you really think she'll just happily wave goodbye and turn away for another four years? If you don't know her that well, I do and I'm sure that she has no intention of it." Helen raised an eyebrow. "In future, Jarod, it's a far better idea to get confirmation before you let your imagination run riot. And if you didn't feel comfortable asking her, you could always have asked me."
"You were… with Debbie."
"And she said I was with you. Somebody had better tell me where I really was, because I had a feeling I'd been spending all my time with at least one of you."
He looked up at her, but the expression on her face sent his gaze back to the blanket, and Jarod remained silent as Helen returned to the former topic.
"Do you know how absolutely terrified Margaret looked when I entered this room before? I've seen your mother experience a wide range of emotions, Jarod, but I've never seen her look as frantic as she did at that moment. And your sister wasn't a lot better. I think they were both waiting for me to say that you were going to die then and there. And Sydney was trying to hide his concern so it wasn't adding to those of Margaret and Emily, but I learnt many years ago how to see through that sort of professional detachment and he was just as worried as they were. Of all the things you could have done to make them stay, this was the worst. It was also, I should add, the most easy to see through."
"So… what are you going to do?"
"I'm going to tell them it was just a temporary setback but you'll be a lot better in the morning. Whether you've got enough courage to admit the real reason for it to them is up to you."
"Courage?" He finally met her gaze, a look of outrage on his face. "Are you trying to suggest that I'm a coward?"
"What would you call your recent behaviour? 'Gee, if I don't do something drastic, my mom might leave when I get better. I know, I'll fake an illness so she doesn't. Maybe I should ask if that fear's justified? No, I'm too scared of the answer. I'll do my plan instead.' Anything in there sounding familiar?"
She got up, pushed the chair back and walked to the door. Turning, her face was expressionless, but a gleam in her eye still hinted at the anger she felt.
"Jarod, in the morning I'm going to act like this never happened, but it's done serious things to the good opinion I had of you. If you want to resurrect that opinion, it'll take a lot of work. Whether you feel it's worth the effort is a decision you'll have to make yourself."
She left the room, quietly closing the door.
"How is he? Is he okay?"
"He's fine." Helen tried to push aside the anger that was still simmering, and filled her voice with the profession calm that she had used so often to anxious parents in the hospital. "I told you that it wouldn't be anything serious and it isn't. But I'm sure he'd like you to go up and see him."
"He…" Margaret swallowed hard. "He won't… die?"
Helen silently cursed but the reassuring smile on her face never moved. "Die? Of course he won't die. It was just a temporary setback. You've got to expect those sometimes. But he'll be just fine in the morning. As I said before, I'm positive he'd like to see you before you go to bed."
"B… bed?" Margaret looked at Helen as if she had grown an extra leg.
"You weren't planning to sit up again tonight, were you? Of course you ought to go to bed. Like I said, he'll be fine tomorrow, and he'll want to talk to you then. It's not going to help if you're both half-asleep because you've been up all night worrying about him. There’s no need for it anyway. But he'll be better for a night on his own. If you're there, he'd want to talk and Jarod really needs a good night's sleep just to be sure that he gets over this properly. In fact, I think it’d be a good idea if we go up now and tell him that you're going to bed."
With a mixture of reassurance and encouragement, she urged the two women up to the bedroom, Sydney following them silently, his eyes revealing his tension. Helen walked over, gently shaking the man who was lying on the bed with his eyes closed.
"Jarod, nap time's over."
Opening his eyes, he looked past her up to where his mother was standing, her face pale, and he hesitated. The doctor filled the gap.
"They've come up to say goodnight, Jarod. I'm sure you won't mind if your mom and Em go off to bed now. It's been a long day, in more ways than one, and they can probably both do with a good night's sleep."
Margaret eyed her former student for a minute before bending down to brush her son's hair away from his face, kissing his forehead softly. "Good night, Jarod. I'll see you in the morning, okay?"
He nodded silently, hugging his mother with a firmness that surprised her, but gave her greater confidence in Helen's statement. Emily eyed him briefly before turning to the doctor.
"But… are you sure…?"
"Positive." Helen's voice was firm, full of authority and left no room for arguments. "Jarod can do with a night of peace and quiet on his own. He'll appreciate the two of you even more when you come in tomorrow. But I think he'd agree that one night for the two of you, away from the stress of caring for him, has to be a good thing." She turned, eyeing Jarod with a degree of severity. "Right?"
He nodded and then hugged his sister. "Sleep well, Em. I'll be fine."
"Well," she stepped back hesitantly. "As long as you're sure…"
The two women went out of the room, Emily looking over her shoulder before she pulled the door almost closed and then Helen glanced at Sydney. At the expression on his face, she raised an eyebrow.
"No, Sydney, as his doctor I won't even allow you to sit up here with him. That's a medical order. He needs some time on his own."
He turned to her. "Don't you think, in view of what happened before..."
"I'll stay up here for a while, just in case anything happens, but I'm sure it won't."
Nodding slowly, the psychiatrist gently squeezed Jarod's hand before going over to the door.
"Oh, Sydney?"
Looking back, he saw a light of amusement in Helen's face and paused. "Yes?"
"Do you need something to help you sleep or will you be able to manage on your own this time?"
Jarod watched as the door opened and Helen came in, closing it behind her and sitting in a chair on the other side of the room.
"Are they asleep?"
"Your sister is, and your mother should be soon, as should Sydney."
"So you…?"
"I added a little something to the drinks I gave them. Nobody asked if I'd done so, or refused, so either they knew I'd do it or they were too tired and worried about you to think of it. Regardless of whatever's true, none of them will wake up until late-ish tomorrow morning, and they all need it."
"And this is punishment, right?"
"Actually I prefer to think of it as giving you time for serious consideration. I don't like the idea that I punish my patients, although sometimes it's necessary." Helen turned a cool gaze on him. "But usually only to the very young ones."
"I…" He paused. "I'm sorry, Helen."
"I'm not the one you need to be apologizing to, Jarod." The hard tone of her voice began to fade. "I'm not the one who suffered because of what you did."
"I'm going to tell them. Tomorrow."
She smiled faintly. "I'm glad to hear it. They won't worry as much about you when they know it wasn't anything medical."
"And… tomorrow… after that…?"
"What about 'tomorrow after that'?"
"Can I get up?"
"I'd be surprised, after your little display, if you have the energy. One more day in bed wouldn't hurt, but we'll see."
"But I can eat, right?"
"You'd have been eating for two days now if you hadn't pulled that silly stunt."
He blushed again before looking up. "You weren't kidding when you said you could be severe, were you?"
"No, although I didn't think I'd need to be quite this severe. But then a little child's game like that doesn't really deserve much better, does it?"
He stared at the bedclothes and didn't answer, the red still burning in his cheeks.
"I suppose you like ice cream as much as Eddie did?"
"It's…" He trailed off and stared at her. "How do you know Eddie?"
"I did know Eddie," she stressed the past tense sadly, "after picking him up along a road in Blue Cove." A slight smile pulled the corners of her mouth. "Unlike one other person I could name, he didn't go to the extent of getting hit by my car and then jumping into it. He just begged for a ride, so I gave him one."
She told him the story that Sydney and Margaret had heard earlier, seeing the same emotion on his face that she could feel in her heart. When she had finished, he looked up.
"Was that what you meant before when you said Alex killed your best friend?"
"Yes, Jarod." She spoke softly. "Eddie lived here for almost six months, getting to know the world and the people in it."
"And you were… close?"
"He thought he was in love with me. He even asked me to marry him."
"You refused?"
"I never believed that he really felt that way about me. He changed very suddenly once he met his future wife and that, more than anything else, convinced me that I'd been right in refusing him."
"But you stayed friends?"
"He relied on my advice, my answers to his questions, and he continued to be as affectionate as he'd ever been, but there was something different. The warmth of earlier days wasn't there anymore."
"And then he married?"
"Yes. I'd introduced him to one of my old friends from school and I could see right away that she fell for him, hard. When, a few days later, he came to talk to me in the same way that you talked to Sydney about women, I knew that he was falling in love with her. It made me glad that I'd refused him."
"But it still hurt."
She smiled again, faintly. "It always hurts, Jarod, particularly when you know that something you said was painful for the other person to hear. But seeing them so happy together made it easier."
"Did he do what I did?"
"Go out and help people, you mean? Not in the same way as you do. The Centre wasn't looking for him so it wasn't dangerous for him to get to know people. But if he'd starting changing his job every other week, I think some of them might have begun to wonder, don't you?"
Jarod grinned faintly. "So what did he do?"
"Eddie started working at the NSA a month before he got married, a bit over five months after you both escaped. He worked there until his death, as you know."
"How did you...?"
"I read the reports that you and the other agents had to put in about that incident, and then the final report on Alex after he 'fell', as they saw it."
"You don't believe that?"
"There was a security camera on that tower nobody knew about. Nobody thought to look for one. But I wanted to know what happened, if there could have been a way for Alex to survive. Once the investigation was over, I went up there and scouted around. I found the camera, located the recording room and 'lifted' the tape from that day." She looked at him sadly. "I heard every word."
Jarod shook his head slightly to erase the memory of that conversation from his mind before he looked up. "Do you think he could have survived?"
"As I said to Sydney, I don't know. It's possible."
"He never surfaced."
"From my view of the scene, he could have swum underwater and come up somewhere else."
"He must have had broken bones."
"It's possible to swim with broken bones. It hurts like crazy, but it can be done."
"Personal experience?"
"Sadly." She smiled. "I broke my leg by falling into deep water and had to swim back to the shore for help. It took a while but, as it was a choice between that or drowning, I decided to put up with the pain. I'm big on life."
"How old were you?"
"Nearly twelve." Helen laughed softly. "I don't suggest you try it. As I said, it hurts like mad."
"I had no plans to." He paused. "Will you tell me more about...what Eddie did when he got out of the Centre?"
"Not now." Glancing at her watch, the doctor stood up. "It's late now and even if you don't want to sleep, I do."
Walking over, she put the back of her hand against his forehead, nodding in quiet satisfaction. "I think you'll be fine for tonight but I arranged with Broots to sleep in Debbie's room, on the camp bed, instead of him, so you can call me if anything's wrong."
Before she could walk away, he seized her hand in both of his and looked into her eyes. "I really am very sorry, Helen."
"Yes, Jarod." She released her hand gently. "I know you are."
Softly she entered the other bedroom, walking over to kiss the little girl in the bed before taking off the silk bathrobe and lying down. She closed her eyes, but opened them again after a moment as her right hand rubbed a point on the ring finger of her other hand where the gold band had rested for a few minutes before she took it off and gave it back. The memory of the pain on his face as she did so brought tears to her eyes; tears she hadn't shed since the day of his marriage. It's true, she told herself firmly. Eddie wasn't really in love with you. But you were in love with him. A small, treacherous voice spoke softly in the back of her mind and wouldn't be silenced. Tears starting to slide down her face, she sat up, leaning against the wall.
Shaking her head sadly, she got out of bed and went over to the window. For a minute she rested her face against the glass, looking at the stars that shone, clear and cold, in the night's sky. She didn't think that she was in love with him anymore. She had felt her feelings fading when she saw him with his wife, his children. It hurt when she had watched him gunned down at the hospital but it was the pain of friendship broken forever, nothing else. All this, she told herself firmly as she got back into bed, is needlessly painful. It's only making it harder to do what you said you’d do: treat Jarod as if nothing happened. Nodding slightly, she closed her eyes and tried to sleep.
Feeling the warm body lying beside her, Helen opened her eyes, looking down at the face that was turned up to hers.
"Debbie? What's the matter, baby?"
"Why were you crying, Mommy?"
Helen pulled back slightly in surprise. "What makes you think I was?"
Reaching up, Debbie wiped off the traces of moisture that clung treacherously to Helen's cheek. "I saw you. They shone in the light from the window. What was making you sad?"
"I was...thinking about somebody I miss."
"So why don't you go and find them, like you found Jarod's mom?"
"I can't find this person, Debbie. Not anymore."
"Are they dead?"
"Yes." Helen put out an arm and pulled the little girl close to her, thankfully changing the subject. "Now tell me why you get out of bed when I told you specifically not to."
"I wanted to make sure you weren't too sad." Debbie looked up again and a look of fear came into her eyes. "Don't be mad, Mommy!"
"I'm not mad, sweetie." Helen began to stroke the girl's hair. "I promise I'm not."
"You were mad before."
"How do you know?"
"I could hear you. Daddy and I could both hear you. You sounded really angry."
"I was, sweetheart, but I'm not mad now. And certainly not with you."
"Were you mad with Jarod?"
"Yes, I was."
"Why?"
"Because he did something very selfish that made his mommy worry about him and I don't like selfish people."
Fear flashed in the girl's eyes again. "I'm not selfish, am I?"
"Of course not, Debbie. What made you think that?"
"Well, I got sick and you've spent all your time here with me, when you haven't sat with Jarod or been asleep, and…"
"And how would that make you selfish?” Helen interrupted soothingly. “I'm a doctor, baby, and I like looking after sick people. That's my job, remember? And I like my job."
"Uh huh." Snuggling closer, the girl put both her hands around Helen's neck. "So you like looking after me?"
"I like you as a person, sweetheart, and it was looking after you that gave me the chance to start liking you."
"And will you always be my Mommy, even if you don't live in Blue Cove?"
"Of course I will." Helen gently kissed the girl's forehead. "Try to sleep now, baby, so you'll have enough energy to get up tomorrow and come downstairs."
Nodding, the girl nestled into the woman's arms as she closed her eyes, her face pressed up into Helen's shoulder and her arms wrapped around her neck.
"Good morning, Broots." With an amused glint in her eye, Miss Parker watched as the technician jumped visibly. Coming into the kitchen, she sat at the table before looking at him. "Is that coffee I could smell all the way down in my room?"
"Y… yes, Miss Parker. Do you want some?"
"That'd be nice." She glanced at him. "What are you waiting for me to do, Broots, bite your head off?"
"To be frank," he turned and looked at her, "yes."
Hiding a smile, she looked up. "Have I done it yet?"
"No. That's why I'm waiting for it."
Quiet laughter from the doorway made the kitchen's occupants turn to see Helen leaning against the doorframe and Broots got up to get out another mug, filling it with coffee.
"How's Debbie?"
"Fine. She had a good night's sleep."
"In your bed, with you."
The doctor looked up, startled. "When did you come in?"
"About three. I was awake and thought I'd check."
Helen raised an eyebrow. "Don't you trust me, Broots?"
"Completely, but she was nervous after hearing you… uh, talking to Jarod."
"Yelling at him, you mean. Yes, I hadn't thought until later that she'd have heard it and that you probably would, too. I hope it didn't wake her up."
"No but, like I said, she was a bit nervous."
Miss Parker looked at the other woman. "What did he do?"
"He was playing with his mother's emotions. That's the one thing I can't stand."
"In other words, you aren't going to tell us."
"Not the details, no." Helen eyed her sharply. "It's really none of your business."
"And how is Jarod this morning?"
"A lot better than he was yesterday. If you did want to see him, despite what I said to you then, I think he's well enough to cope with seeing you. So long as he doesn't try to run, anyway..."
The brunette grinned. "I promise, I won't pull a gun on him until I get your medical clearance to do so."
