Table of Contents [Report This]
Disclaimer: The characters in this story do not belong to me. A few of them do, but that's kind of besides the point. The ones that don't belong to me are just being borrowed for a little fun.
How Did We End Up Like This?
by Nicky
*************
Miss Parker quietly peeks her head around the corner of the deserted warehouse, being careful not to make any noise. She strains her ears to hear the muted voices of the building's only other occupants. One of the voices is deep and gruff, tainted by years of life on the streets. The other is smooth and soothing. A voice that she hears in her dreams of times past and in her nightmares of the present.
She eases the rest of her body around the corner and crouches low to the floor to remain out of sight. She can see both the men clearly now. The first body matched the first voice. Big, burly and creepy looking. He was definitely someone she wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley in the middle of the night. The second man appeared to be the dark, avenging angel he worked daily at being. There was no mistaking it. The second man was the one she was looking for. It was Jarod.
Her heart skipped a beat at the anticipation of finally capturing him. The chase had gone on far too long and she was ready for the game to be over. Unfortunately, this wasn't as much of a game for Jarod. This was his life. Self preservation can be a powerful source of motivation. He always managed to stay one step ahead of her. But not today. Today it was her turn to finally catch him.
Her plan was simple this time. No sweepers around to screw things up. No Sydney around to try to play hero. No Lyle around to get on her nerves. It was just going to be her and Jarod. She would wait around until Jarod finished whatever business he was conducting with this shady fellow before she launched her attack. He wouldn't even know what hit him.
"What is this?" Jarod's companion suddenly shouted. Miss Parker tightened her grip around her gun. Something unexpected was about to happen. It looks like she would have to implement her plan sooner than she calculated. She hated to put innocent people in the middle of her Centre business, but somehow she didn't think this man was so innocent. In fact, from the looks of him, she might even get a medal for disposing of him, if it came to that.
"Jarod," the man repeats. "What is this?" he asks, looking into the bag that was between them. His eyes move back up to Jarod and flash him a look of pure hatred. "This is only half of what I paid for . . ."
"Actually," Jarod says, interrupting him. "It's nothing that you paid for." Jarod reaches into his pocket with the swift gracefulness of a cat and pulls out a gun, training it on the man. "It's all fake. None of it's real. You think I'd actually come in here with real drugs?"
"Five-O. I should have guessed. You look like a cop. I don't know why the boss insisted on doing business with you," the man rationalizes.
"I'm not a cop," Jarod replies. "Just a man out for a little justice. You think you just bought drugs from me, but you really just bought yourself a one way ticket to jail. And you're going to be there for a long, long time. You're going to be there for every little kid you tricked into selling this poison for you. You're going to be there for every poor misguided young woman you lured into selling her body for just another hit. You're going to suffer just like you made others suffer."
"Nice story. Nice try. But it's not going to happen, my friend. Because it's just you. And it's just me. Nobody else is here to confirm this crazy tale. And nobody else is here to stop me from taking care of you. I bet you don't have the nerve to use that thing," he says, nodding his head towards the gun in Jarod's hand. "But luckily I won't be around here to see if I win that bet or not."
Quicker than anyone can blink, a gun falls out from the man's sleeve and into his hand. He shoots off a bullet, hitting Jarod in the hand holding the gun. The gun goes flying out of Jarod's hand and sliding across the floor.
"Arghh!!" Jarod lets out a blood-curdling scream that freezes Miss Parker in her position. Things had gotten out of hand so quickly that she didn't have any time to react. All she could do is gasp at the shock of seeing Jarod shot. A gasp that alerted the others to her presence in the warehouse.
"Who's there?" the man yells, turning the gun towards the source of Miss Parker's gasp. "Come on out. I know you're out there."
Miss Parker slowly emerges from the darkness, her gun leading the way. She's not really sure what she's up against, but she puts on a brave face, determined to show no fear.
"Drop the gun, Mister," she growls in her most intimidating voices as she continues to approach him. "I said DROP IT!"
The man looks at her, completely amused, and lets out a grouchy laugh. This too surprises her and makes her stop in her tracks momentarily while she stares at the man. Her pause is long enough, though, for him to get the advantage on her. He's about to shoot when Jarod jumps from out of nowhere and pushes her out of the way, just in time for the bullet to whiz dangerously close by their heads. The force of Jarod's shove sends her gun flying across the room and landing next to his.
"Oh, I see somebody is still trying to play hero," the man taunts Jarod. "What's so special about this little lady?" He walks over to Miss Parker and grabs her off the floor by the top of her head, causing her to yelp in pain. He pulls her in front of his own body, just as Jarod scampers across the floor to reach one of the guns.
"I don't think you want to do that," the man warns Jarod. He holds his gun up to Miss Parker's head and threatens to pull the trigger. He motions for Jarod to put the gun down, and feeling like he has no other choice, he complies with the man.
"Very good, Jarod. Now, I want you to turn around and put your hands up." Jarod complies once again and the man raises the gun to shoot him.
"No!" Miss Parker yells. She manages to wiggle out of the man's grasp enough to get a hold on his gun. They struggle for control and the gun goes off, straight into the air.
"Run, Jarod," she yells again. She'd let him get away this time. There was no need in trying to bring him back to the Centre if he was dead. And if letting him get away this time was the only way to keep him alive, then she'd have to try it.
Jarod takes off down one of the corridors, but turns around one last time to check on Miss Parker. What was she even doing there, he thinks to himself. How did she even find him? He looks back to see the man with both his hands around Miss Parker's throat. She was fighting against him, so she was still alive. It wasn't too late to save her.
Without a second thought, Jarod runs back towards Miss Parker and her captor, barreling full speed into the both of them. All three end up in a huge pile, but only two of them struggle for freedom. The two manage to extricate themselves and Jarod is instantly panic stricken to see Miss Parker's unconscious form still on the floor.
"Parker . . . can you hear me . . . Wake up. Please, Parker. Open those beautiful baby blues," Jarod begs, paying no attention to the drug dealer.
"Still trying to be the hero," the drug dealer laughs. He's standing over Jarod and the seemingly lifeless body of Miss Parker. "I don't think there's anything left for you to do. You can't help her. And you can't help yourself either." He brings the butt of the gun down on the base of Jarod's skull. The world spins around Jarod's head as his body falls and crumples on top of Miss Parker's. He feels the comforting sensation of her warm breath on the side of his face before succumbing to the darkness.
*************
Jarod awakes hours later to a throbbing pain in his head. He groggily blinks his eyes until his vision focuses on his surroundings. He tries to push himself off the ground when his headache is quickly overshadowed by a shooting pain in his hand.
"You're wake," a voice speaks from the darkness.
Jarod looks around once again and finally finds the source.
"Miss Parker," he says with some surprise. "You're alright. I thought he had . . . "
"I thought so, too. But I'm fine. My throats sore where he was squeezing my neck. And I have a bit of a headache. Other than being locked in this room, I'm okay. How about you? I had to wrap that hand up with something to stop the bleeding."
"Thanks," he winces, gently cradling his hand in his lap. "I think the bullet went straight through. But thanks to you, I won't bleed to death. Not that it'll make much of a difference if we can't find a way out of here." He struggles with the injured hand and finally is able to manipulate himself into a standing position where he's able to get a better look around their prison. But his eyes focus on the person sharing the cramped quarters. She was so strong and determined, but he still worried about her. She would never admit it, but he could tell that she was terrified.
"So, do you think we can get out of here?" Miss Parker leans her back wearily against the wall. "Tell me the truth, Jarod. Is there a chance we can get out or are we going to die?"
"I don't know," he replies quietly, walking towards her. He stops right in front of her, resting his arm on the wall next to her. He fingers the brick tentatively, hoping for any sign of weakness in the wall that could be a way out for them. "It doesn't look good," he whispers.
"Oh," she gasps, trying to hold back her tears. But they wouldn't stop. She let them flow freely, sweeping the back of her hand across her face every so often to dry one stream, only to allow new, fiercer ones to take it's place.
She couldn't believe her luck. The one time she decides to make a move without the sweepers or Sydney or even her useless excuse for a brother and she gets herself trapped. She was actually about to die. In that room with Jarod of all people. But she looks up at him and is strangely comforted by the warm, gentleness shining in his eyes. The warmness draws her until she finds herself unexpectedly propelled into his arms.
He couldn't believe what was happening to him. What should have been a routine pretend to send a notorious drug dealer to jail took this drastic turn of events. And now, he's here. Stuck in this cell with Miss Parker of all people. Forced to spend his last few moments alive with her. But she looks at him, and the tender vulnerability in her eyes melt his heart. He wanted nothing more than to hold her and comfort her. And by some miracle, he suddenly finds his arms filled with her presence.
"I'm so sorry," she sobs into his chest. "This is all my fault. If I hadn't . . . "
"Don't blame yourself," he interrupts. "This is something that just happened. It's nobody's fault, really. If anything, I'm the one who should have had the situation more under control. I just didn't realize that Bubba would use you to try to get to me."
"Bubba?" She breaks out into a fit of giggles at the mention of that name.
"Yeah. What's so funny?" he asks with a confused look on his face.
"I'm sorry. Nothing's funny." She breaks out into a deeper laugh. "It's just that he really didn't strike me as a 'Bubba' type."
"No. He didn't, did he?" he asks, joining in her laughter. But the laughter lasts only a moment. "Too bad he didn't seem like the type to leave us in this abandoned warehouse for dead, either. What are we going to do, Parker?"
His hopelessness was heartbreaking for her. This was a new situation for her. She's never seen the Pretender without a trick up his sleeve. He was their 'Houdini'. He always had a way of escape. He could always stay one step ahead of them, no matter what obstacles they tried to throw in his path. Except for that one time last May at the airstrip . . .
"What's the matter?" he asks her with some concern after he realizes that she's crying again.
"This really is my fault, Jarod. Why is it that you end up in the most trouble after trying to protect me? That time I was shot at the airfield. You were trying to help me and got captured. And now tonight. If I didn't show up, things wouldn't have turned out this way. Things are always turning out this way because of me. First my mother was trying to protect me and that killed her. Then Tommy. My poor Tommy. All he ever wanted to do was love me. And I get him killed too. Now you. I get you into this mess . . . "
"Shhhh," he says, holding up a finger to her lips. He allows it to linger there for a second while he's momentarily hypnotized by their beauty. "I told you before. None of this is your fault. You can't go around feeling guilty for things you have no control over."
"Then why do you do it?" she asks abruptly. She doesn't even know what made her say that. But she thinks about it and it actually makes sense. "You go around, trying to right wrongs and trying to fix everything for everybody when your own life is a mess. It's like you feel so guilty about doing those SIM's when you were younger and all of the evil that your ideas were used for that you spend all of your time trying to somehow make it all up to society. You should take your own advice, Jarod. You didn't have any control over what they made you do. Don't feel guilty about it."
"There's one thing I don't get about you, Parker. You know what they did to me when I was little. When we were kids, you used to talk about helping me get out of there. What changed? Why do you want me to go back there?"
His questions stump her. What could she say? How could she answer him? Most importantly, how could she look at herself in the mirror everyday, knowing what she was trying to do? How could she live with herself knowing that one day, Jarod might slip up and she would catch him and have to take him back to that place? So, she decides to be honest.
"I don't know. I'm sorry. That's not much of an answer, but it's the only one I have right now," she admits. And that was true. It was the only answer that she had. Or at least the only answer she was willing to admit to herself. Because if she looked deep down, she could find answers to all of his questions. But they wouldn't be answers she was willing to face at that moment. Jarod, however, wasn't quite as willing to let things go.
"I think you do know, Miss Parker. You have to know. There has to be a reason why you chase after me ever minute of my life, trying to take me back to a place that imprisoned and exploited me for most of my life. There has to be a reason why you hate me so much that you're a willing participant in my torture. Because that's what that place is. Torture. And torture is something nobody deserves to go through."
"You want to know why I chase after you?" she asks incredulously. "You want to know why I want you back there? You want to know why I hate you? Jarod, you've got it all wrong. I'm the one who should be asking why you hate me. Why do you stay away knowing that each day you're out there is another day that I have to be at the Centre? We both grew up at their mercy. So how could you have even left me in a place like that, knowing how they imprisoned and exploited both of us? At least you have your freedom now, Jarod. But what about me? Huh? When do I get my chance to be free? You go around rescuing perfect strangers, but what about me? Were you ever planning to come back for me?" She slides down the wall until she's resting on the floor, drawing her knees up to her chest and burying her face in between. She sits there, rocking herself, her sobs her only comfort.
"I don't know what to say," Jarod stammers. He's utterly amazed at the outpouring of emotion from Miss Parker. Somewhere along the line, their lives have gotten twisted beyond recognition. So many lies. So much deception. So much hurt. How could he begin to fix things? What was there left to fix? He kneels down in front of her and places his good hand on her buried head, gently and soothingly running his fingers through her hair until she's calmed down a bit.
"Look at me, Parker. It sounds like we need to talk."
"What's there to talk about, Jarod?" she asks coldly. "You said yourself that you didn't know what to say."
"Don't shut me out now. Things are finally starting to become clear. I don't know what went on, but we have to straighten things out. Right here and right now. I've made it through the last few years assuming that for some unknown reason, you were chasing me because you hated me. I just figured that you had finally become the daughter your father always wanted. That you were no longer that little girl I knew and loved." He pauses for a minute, catching a surprised look in her eyes after his last declaration. She had let her guard down for only a moment, but it was long enough for him to see straight into her soul. And what he saw there were memories of a pure and innocent love that almost moved him to tears. He quickly looks away to keep his emotions in check.
"What are you trying to say, Jarod?" She quickly regains her composure and pushes aside her momentary attack of nostalgia. "This is all my fault? That I drove you away?"
"I'm not saying that, Parker. What I'm saying is that I left because I thought there was nothing left for me at the Centre. And when I left, I thought the only part of you I was leaving behind was memories of our past. You weren't the same person anymore. A light inside of you had been turned off, and I couldn't turn it back on. I didn't know how to reach you."
"That's because I didn't want you to reach me," she says quietly. "The older we got, Jarod, the more I realized how wrong it was for you to be locked up in there. I tried to be a good friend, though. Since you couldn't go outside, I tried to bring the outside world to you. But every time I started to talk about the beach or school or normal kid stuff, I always felt guilty that you couldn't experience those things. The more I wanted to share with you, the guiltier I felt. Until I couldn't take the guilt anymore. I couldn't stand seeing you. I felt useless."
"Miss Parker, you were a good friend. The best I've ever had. You were the only thing I had to live for. And I didn't care about all that 'outside world' stuff. I was just so happy that you were there. You were my 'fresh air' and 'walks on the beach'. Your face was the star I wished on. The most beautiful sunset I've ever seen was through your eyes. And if I had the chance for a normal childhood, I'd give it all away if it meant I wouldn't have ever known you. Don't you get it, Miss Parker? You are my world. Everything that I know wouldn't be worth anything if I didn't know you. But I left because I thought all of that changed. I thought that you didn't want me around anymore. It kills me now to think that you felt I deserted you. I never would have left you there if I didn't think you wanted me to leave you there. That's what your letter said."
"Letter?" She suddenly looks up, completely shocked. "Jarod, what are you talking about? When did I ever write you a letter?"
"When you left for school. And one more right around the time you came back. The first letter wasn't bad. It just talked about how going away was a change that you really needed. But the last letter pretty much ripped my heart out. You told me how you thought it was pathetic that I sent you all of those letters those years you were gone without a reply. You said that I was the furthest thing from your mind and that I since you'd forgotten about me, I should just do the same."
"You wrote me letters?" she asks, with a new softness in her tone.
"I wrote you a letter almost everyday. While you were gone, they were a little more lenient with me and I was able to go pretty much anywhere in the Centre I wanted. I snuck into the mailroom all the time to mail your letters. Why do you seem so surprised at that?"
"I never got any letters from you. I got a few from my father saying how focused you had become without me around to distract you. But other than that, I had no idea what was going on with you. What happened to the letters, Jarod?"
"I don't know," he sighs. "I saw the letters go out myself. I remembered that I would drop the letters off right around the time they picked up the mail, so I know they left the Centre. But based on your surprise, they never got to you. Your incoming mail must have been monitored."
"Jarod, I'm so sorry. I never knew you wrote the letters. And I never wrote you any letters. I would have never told you any of that in a letter. I couldn't stand seeing you hurt, Jarod. That's why I started to back away from you. That's why I agreed to go away to school. I wouldn't have hurt you like that." She wipes away the fresh tears that have begun to flow.
"Once again, the Centre at work, wreaking havoc on our lives. Listen, don't cry," he says, pulling her into his arms. But she doesn't stop. She can't stop. There were too many unshed tears that have built up over the years. He's soon crying along with her, mourning the loss of the innocent love they once shared.
*************
"Miss Parker. It's time we get this story straight. Once and for all," Jarod says. He lifts her chin up until he can stare directly into her tear-blurred eyes. "For some reason, no matter how hard we try to avoid each other, fate keeps on throwing us in each other's path. Even facing death, we're here together. There's got to be a reason for that."
"I agree," she whispers, trying to keep a check on her emotions. Although she feels she's slowly losing the battle. He's so close that she can feel his warm breath on her face. "So much has gone unsaid for far too long."
"Do you hate me?" Jarod asks shyly and unsurely, not really sure he wanted to know the answer.
"No. I don't hate you, Jarod," she replies. "I never hated you. But I'm really sorry you felt that way. How about you? Do you hate me? I've given you so much reason to hate me."
"I don't hate you. There have been many times that I haven't liked you very much. But I don't hate you." He looks at her and breaths a sigh of relief. "Okay, so we've established that we don't hate each other. That's a starting point."
"But where does that leave us?" she asks impatiently.
"It leaves us with a lot of history to sort through, Miss Parker." He grabs her hand with his good hand and raises it up to his lips, kissing the top of it gently before passing out.
"Jarod!" Miss Parker is alarmed. "Jarod, can you hear me?" She shakes him repeatedly until he finally opens his eyes.
"What happened?" he asks, confused at her anxiety.
"You just passed out, Jarod. You must have lost more blood than we thought."
"I'm okay," he claims. "We still have a lot to talk about."
"Jarod, you need to rest some. We can talk later."
"No, we need to talk now, Miss Parker. I'm not going to waste this chance I've been given."
"Fine. If you insist. I'm all ears," she says. "Talk away, Wonder Boy."
"You know, you're still as beautiful as that first time I ever saw you," he says, lifting his hand up to the side of her face and stroking it gently. He's quiet for awhile as he stares into her deep, blue eyes, getting lost in the wonder. "Do you remember what it was like for us back then? So simple. So easy. I was Jarod. You were Miss Parker. And we were inseparable. The best of friends."
"Of course I remember, Jarod. How could I forget? A girl remembers the first boy she ever kissed," she says with a smile as her mind goes back to the memory.
"Oh yeah, the kiss. That was some kiss, Parker. So sweet and innocent. And I've never forgotten it either. When you kissed me, I remember feeling a warmness all over that I've never felt before. And later that night, I had the sweetest dreams. For the first time I can remember, I had a beautiful dream. But it wasn't like a dream. It was so real. It was the future. And we were there together."
"That does sound beautiful," she sighs. "What was the dream about?"
"I saw two kids playing together," he began. "They looked just like us, but they weren't us because we were watching them. The little girl fell down and skinned her knee. She started to cry. All of a sudden, it was as if the sky opened up. It got really dark and it started to rain. The kids were so afraid. They couldn't do anything but hold on to each other. But then, I saw someone scoop both the children up and kiss them both on the forehead, instantly calming them. The rained stopped and the sky turned into the clearest blue I've ever seen. But as I looked closer, the blue turned out to be the person's eyes. Eyes that were so filled with the power of love that just looking into them cleared away a stormy day and eased all hurts and pains. Eyes that belonged to the little girl that had just kissed me."
He pauses and just stares at her. He stares into the same blue eyes that were becoming warm and soft again. They were beginning to be filled with innocence and love like before and he was having a hard time catching his breath. It was like she was casting a spell that was drawing him in more and more each second. But she makes it easy on him and looks away before he can fall completely into the daze.
"So, that's why you left," she says quietly, looking down at a suddenly interesting stray thread unraveling from the hem of her pants.
"I left because all those visions of the future I had turned out to be ordinary dreams after all," he says sadly. "You were so cold when you came back. You looked at me like you didn't even know me. Something died inside of you. Your eyes were as dead as stones. I didn't see anything when I looked into them. For years I saw your eyes in my dreams. They were the only thing giving me hope and the will to go on. Because I saw our future that day you kissed me. I saw us together forever. I could endure anything as long as I knew we'd be together one day. But when you came back, it was all different. I couldn't stand being in that place another day without any hopes or dreams. It was the only thing keeping me alive. I had to leave."
"You had to leave me," she mutters through her tears. "You couldn't stand what I had become, so you had to leave me."
"No, Parker. That wasn't it. I couldn't leave you. Can't you see that? All of this time I've been out and I'm just barely staying a step ahead of you? You know that I could get away completely if I really wanted to. Disappear without a trace, never to be seen or heard from again. But I couldn't live that way. Not without you in my life. Even if it is as my huntress," he smiles.
"And that's why I never caught you," she admits quietly. "So many times I could see where you were so clearly in my head. Almost like your presences was drawing me to you. But I knew that if I took you back, then I would never see you again. I might see you physically, but who knows what they'd do to your mind. The Jarod I know wouldn't exist anymore if I let my brother have his way with you."
They sit in silence for awhile, each absorbing what the other said. They were both being completely open and honest with each other for the first time since they were kids. There was a lot to adjust to. Getting used to each other's presence and touch again. The silence turns into a comfortable cloak, allowing both of them to rest peacefully in each other's arms. Preparing them for what was still to come.
*************
"Jarod? Are you awake?" Miss Parker gently nudges him with her elbow, causing him to stir a little. She continues to prod him until he wakes up. "Come on, Jarod. You can't sleep for this long. You've lost a lot of blood. You need to stay conscious."
"I'm up," he says groggily. "Talk to me. Say something. Say anything. I need to stay awake."
"Okay. There's something I was always curious about," she starts.
"What's that?"
"Nia. Did you love her?" Her question brings a chilled hush into the room.
"Nia. That's a good question. A question that I've asked myself over and over. Because it wasn't just sex with her. She meant more to me than that. But did I love her? I cared a lot about her. I cared very deeply for her. But did I love her? I really don't know the answer to that question."
"Why can't you answer it?" she prods gently.
"I want to say it's because of where I grew up. I want to say it's because I never got to experience a loving relationship with a woman. Therefore I wouldn't know what love really was and I wouldn't know if I loved her or not. But that would just be a cop out. Because I may not be able to answer the question 'did you love Nia Pedron?', but if someone asked me if I've ever been in love with someone, I could answer that question without any hesitation."
"And what would your answer be?" she asks curiously.
"This," he whispers as he lifts his hand to her face. He gently sweeps the hair from her eyes before pulling her closer and placing a tender kiss on her lips.
"Jarod. I, um . . . " she tries to stutter. But no words come to her mind. Instead, she looks at him. Deep into his eyes. And she's shocked to see the answer to his question written clearly in them. It was a look that he always had in his eyes, but never before had she bothered to notice. Or rather, she didn't want to notice. She never wanted to see that he loved her.
"You love me, Jarod." It was more a statement than a question. She shakes her head in disbelief. "I . . . I . . . I don't really know what to say."
"Oh," he quickly looks away. "You don't have to say anything. But yes. I do love you. I always have. You stole my heart, Parker, that day you kissed me. And you've had it ever since."
"Jarod, don't look away," she begs. "We're almost there. Don't look away now."
"And where is that, Parker?" He turns back to face her. His eyes blazing passionately with fury. Yet the love is still there, and his anger doesn't frighten her. She knows it's just his protective response.
"The truth, Jarod. We're almost to the truth. Lies have ruined our lives and we're finally about to straighten them out. You asked me before how did we end up like this. I didn't know what you were talking about before. But I finally know now. There's something between us. There has always been something between us. And I understand now that you love me. But I didn't know that before. That day I left the Centre, my former life there became a blur. Everything. My father's neglect. My mother's death. And you. Even you, Jarod. All of our happiness seemed more like a hazy dream than reality. But it was a happiness that I know I've felt before. I just didn't have a grasp on it anymore. Your love was just a blur.
"As I got older, I fell into relationship after relationship with man after man trying to spark up that happiness and make it real. But it never worked. Until one day I met Thomas. And we made our own happiness. I know that you can't say if you loved Nia or not, but I loved Thomas. I really loved him. His love was the first real thing I've felt since I left you. But as much as I loved Thomas, it wasn't enough for me to forget you. So I decided to leave Blue Cove. Move away with Thomas. Away from the Centre. Away from you."
"I wish for his sake that you two had gotten away," he whispers. His voice was losing strength, as was the rest of his body. But he was determined to settle things with Parker once and for all, even if it was the last thing he did. "I know you were happy with him. And I know you two loved each other. Even if it comes from another man, your happiness was all that was important to me."
"But how long would I have been happy? Thomas deserved better than me. He loved me more than I could ever love him back. Because he couldn't own my heart. It already belonged to you. Jarod, looking past all of the lies and all of the hurt we've both been through, my life now is more a mess than it's ever been. I don't know what's true or what's been fabricated anymore. But there's one thing I'm sure of. One thing I know to be a truth. That I've loved you for longer than I can remember. Your dreams of us together began the day we met. But when I think of our life, it goes beyond any time that we know. I don't ever remember a time that I didn't love you. No matter what I said to you. No matter what I did to you. Your love was always someplace in my heart." She falls into his arms, tears streaming down her face. But she didn't care anymore. Her heart had been closed off for too long. It was time to open it again. Bring it back to life. Give it back to her love.
They stand there for what seems like an eternity. Holding each other tightly, neither wanting to let go of the other. But Jarod steps back, breaking the seemingly endless embrace. He brings both hands to her face and wipes away her tears. Her eyes pull him into a trance and he gets lost in the deep blue. The deep blue from his dreams that calmed all his fears and eased all his aches. It warms the deathly chill that had begun to settle in his bones and for a moment, he feels as if he's already reached paradise. He soon felt nothing, his pains being erased by the deep blue. He smiled lovingly at her as the blue consumed him, covering him and protecting him so that he didn't even notice the darkness.
*************
"Wake up, Jarod. We're here. We're finally here, just like I promised you." A sweet voice whispers in Jarod's ear, prompting him to open his eyes. It was easier said than done. His eyes felt as if they were bonded shut with super glue. With much effort, he blinks away the sleepiness and looks around at blurred images. He immediately is drawn to two seas of deep blue.
"And where is 'here' . . . . Parker," he manages to mumble.
" 'Here' is the truth. About life. And about love." She smiles through tears of relief. It was touch and go for awhile with him. He had lost so much blood in that warehouse. And they had been in there for so long. It was only a miracle that she was able to get them out. "And now that we're both 'here', we don't ever have to go back to that other place."
"No more lies?" he asks.
"No more lies. Nothing's ever going to tear us apart again, Jarod. They all tried. My father. My brother. Everyone at the Centre. Even death tried to keep us apart. But we won. Truth prevailed. And love."
"I love you," he whispers.
"Then welcome to 'here'. Population: you and me," she says, smiling down on him. "I love you, too." She leans closer to him and covers his lips with gentle kisses.
She wonders how she could have ever forgotten a love like his, but she was glad that he never did. He never gave up on her. He never gave up on their love. Their love was strong enough to wait a lifetime and bring them both from the brink of death. Their love was destined. Meant to be. She couldn't deny that anymore. There was no more doubt as to how they ended up like this. They're together. Forever. Just like they're supposed to be.
The End.
*************
by Nicky
Miss Parker quietly peeks her head around the corner of the deserted warehouse, being careful not to make any noise. She strains her ears to hear the muted voices of the building's only other occupants. One of the voices is deep and gruff, tainted by years of life on the streets. The other is smooth and soothing. A voice that she hears in her dreams of times past and in her nightmares of the present.
She eases the rest of her body around the corner and crouches low to the floor to remain out of sight. She can see both the men clearly now. The first body matched the first voice. Big, burly and creepy looking. He was definitely someone she wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley in the middle of the night. The second man appeared to be the dark, avenging angel he worked daily at being. There was no mistaking it. The second man was the one she was looking for. It was Jarod.
Her heart skipped a beat at the anticipation of finally capturing him. The chase had gone on far too long and she was ready for the game to be over. Unfortunately, this wasn't as much of a game for Jarod. This was his life. Self preservation can be a powerful source of motivation. He always managed to stay one step ahead of her. But not today. Today it was her turn to finally catch him.
Her plan was simple this time. No sweepers around to screw things up. No Sydney around to try to play hero. No Lyle around to get on her nerves. It was just going to be her and Jarod. She would wait around until Jarod finished whatever business he was conducting with this shady fellow before she launched her attack. He wouldn't even know what hit him.
"What is this?" Jarod's companion suddenly shouted. Miss Parker tightened her grip around her gun. Something unexpected was about to happen. It looks like she would have to implement her plan sooner than she calculated. She hated to put innocent people in the middle of her Centre business, but somehow she didn't think this man was so innocent. In fact, from the looks of him, she might even get a medal for disposing of him, if it came to that.
"Jarod," the man repeats. "What is this?" he asks, looking into the bag that was between them. His eyes move back up to Jarod and flash him a look of pure hatred. "This is only half of what I paid for . . ."
"Actually," Jarod says, interrupting him. "It's nothing that you paid for." Jarod reaches into his pocket with the swift gracefulness of a cat and pulls out a gun, training it on the man. "It's all fake. None of it's real. You think I'd actually come in here with real drugs?"
"Five-O. I should have guessed. You look like a cop. I don't know why the boss insisted on doing business with you," the man rationalizes.
"I'm not a cop," Jarod replies. "Just a man out for a little justice. You think you just bought drugs from me, but you really just bought yourself a one way ticket to jail. And you're going to be there for a long, long time. You're going to be there for every little kid you tricked into selling this poison for you. You're going to be there for every poor misguided young woman you lured into selling her body for just another hit. You're going to suffer just like you made others suffer."
"Nice story. Nice try. But it's not going to happen, my friend. Because it's just you. And it's just me. Nobody else is here to confirm this crazy tale. And nobody else is here to stop me from taking care of you. I bet you don't have the nerve to use that thing," he says, nodding his head towards the gun in Jarod's hand. "But luckily I won't be around here to see if I win that bet or not."
Quicker than anyone can blink, a gun falls out from the man's sleeve and into his hand. He shoots off a bullet, hitting Jarod in the hand holding the gun. The gun goes flying out of Jarod's hand and sliding across the floor.
"Arghh!!" Jarod lets out a blood-curdling scream that freezes Miss Parker in her position. Things had gotten out of hand so quickly that she didn't have any time to react. All she could do is gasp at the shock of seeing Jarod shot. A gasp that alerted the others to her presence in the warehouse.
"Who's there?" the man yells, turning the gun towards the source of Miss Parker's gasp. "Come on out. I know you're out there."
Miss Parker slowly emerges from the darkness, her gun leading the way. She's not really sure what she's up against, but she puts on a brave face, determined to show no fear.
"Drop the gun, Mister," she growls in her most intimidating voices as she continues to approach him. "I said DROP IT!"
The man looks at her, completely amused, and lets out a grouchy laugh. This too surprises her and makes her stop in her tracks momentarily while she stares at the man. Her pause is long enough, though, for him to get the advantage on her. He's about to shoot when Jarod jumps from out of nowhere and pushes her out of the way, just in time for the bullet to whiz dangerously close by their heads. The force of Jarod's shove sends her gun flying across the room and landing next to his.
"Oh, I see somebody is still trying to play hero," the man taunts Jarod. "What's so special about this little lady?" He walks over to Miss Parker and grabs her off the floor by the top of her head, causing her to yelp in pain. He pulls her in front of his own body, just as Jarod scampers across the floor to reach one of the guns.
"I don't think you want to do that," the man warns Jarod. He holds his gun up to Miss Parker's head and threatens to pull the trigger. He motions for Jarod to put the gun down, and feeling like he has no other choice, he complies with the man.
"Very good, Jarod. Now, I want you to turn around and put your hands up." Jarod complies once again and the man raises the gun to shoot him.
"No!" Miss Parker yells. She manages to wiggle out of the man's grasp enough to get a hold on his gun. They struggle for control and the gun goes off, straight into the air.
"Run, Jarod," she yells again. She'd let him get away this time. There was no need in trying to bring him back to the Centre if he was dead. And if letting him get away this time was the only way to keep him alive, then she'd have to try it.
Jarod takes off down one of the corridors, but turns around one last time to check on Miss Parker. What was she even doing there, he thinks to himself. How did she even find him? He looks back to see the man with both his hands around Miss Parker's throat. She was fighting against him, so she was still alive. It wasn't too late to save her.
Without a second thought, Jarod runs back towards Miss Parker and her captor, barreling full speed into the both of them. All three end up in a huge pile, but only two of them struggle for freedom. The two manage to extricate themselves and Jarod is instantly panic stricken to see Miss Parker's unconscious form still on the floor.
"Parker . . . can you hear me . . . Wake up. Please, Parker. Open those beautiful baby blues," Jarod begs, paying no attention to the drug dealer.
"Still trying to be the hero," the drug dealer laughs. He's standing over Jarod and the seemingly lifeless body of Miss Parker. "I don't think there's anything left for you to do. You can't help her. And you can't help yourself either." He brings the butt of the gun down on the base of Jarod's skull. The world spins around Jarod's head as his body falls and crumples on top of Miss Parker's. He feels the comforting sensation of her warm breath on the side of his face before succumbing to the darkness.
Jarod awakes hours later to a throbbing pain in his head. He groggily blinks his eyes until his vision focuses on his surroundings. He tries to push himself off the ground when his headache is quickly overshadowed by a shooting pain in his hand.
"You're wake," a voice speaks from the darkness.
Jarod looks around once again and finally finds the source.
"Miss Parker," he says with some surprise. "You're alright. I thought he had . . . "
"I thought so, too. But I'm fine. My throats sore where he was squeezing my neck. And I have a bit of a headache. Other than being locked in this room, I'm okay. How about you? I had to wrap that hand up with something to stop the bleeding."
"Thanks," he winces, gently cradling his hand in his lap. "I think the bullet went straight through. But thanks to you, I won't bleed to death. Not that it'll make much of a difference if we can't find a way out of here." He struggles with the injured hand and finally is able to manipulate himself into a standing position where he's able to get a better look around their prison. But his eyes focus on the person sharing the cramped quarters. She was so strong and determined, but he still worried about her. She would never admit it, but he could tell that she was terrified.
"So, do you think we can get out of here?" Miss Parker leans her back wearily against the wall. "Tell me the truth, Jarod. Is there a chance we can get out or are we going to die?"
"I don't know," he replies quietly, walking towards her. He stops right in front of her, resting his arm on the wall next to her. He fingers the brick tentatively, hoping for any sign of weakness in the wall that could be a way out for them. "It doesn't look good," he whispers.
"Oh," she gasps, trying to hold back her tears. But they wouldn't stop. She let them flow freely, sweeping the back of her hand across her face every so often to dry one stream, only to allow new, fiercer ones to take it's place.
She couldn't believe her luck. The one time she decides to make a move without the sweepers or Sydney or even her useless excuse for a brother and she gets herself trapped. She was actually about to die. In that room with Jarod of all people. But she looks up at him and is strangely comforted by the warm, gentleness shining in his eyes. The warmness draws her until she finds herself unexpectedly propelled into his arms.
He couldn't believe what was happening to him. What should have been a routine pretend to send a notorious drug dealer to jail took this drastic turn of events. And now, he's here. Stuck in this cell with Miss Parker of all people. Forced to spend his last few moments alive with her. But she looks at him, and the tender vulnerability in her eyes melt his heart. He wanted nothing more than to hold her and comfort her. And by some miracle, he suddenly finds his arms filled with her presence.
"I'm so sorry," she sobs into his chest. "This is all my fault. If I hadn't . . . "
"Don't blame yourself," he interrupts. "This is something that just happened. It's nobody's fault, really. If anything, I'm the one who should have had the situation more under control. I just didn't realize that Bubba would use you to try to get to me."
"Bubba?" She breaks out into a fit of giggles at the mention of that name.
"Yeah. What's so funny?" he asks with a confused look on his face.
"I'm sorry. Nothing's funny." She breaks out into a deeper laugh. "It's just that he really didn't strike me as a 'Bubba' type."
"No. He didn't, did he?" he asks, joining in her laughter. But the laughter lasts only a moment. "Too bad he didn't seem like the type to leave us in this abandoned warehouse for dead, either. What are we going to do, Parker?"
His hopelessness was heartbreaking for her. This was a new situation for her. She's never seen the Pretender without a trick up his sleeve. He was their 'Houdini'. He always had a way of escape. He could always stay one step ahead of them, no matter what obstacles they tried to throw in his path. Except for that one time last May at the airstrip . . .
"What's the matter?" he asks her with some concern after he realizes that she's crying again.
"This really is my fault, Jarod. Why is it that you end up in the most trouble after trying to protect me? That time I was shot at the airfield. You were trying to help me and got captured. And now tonight. If I didn't show up, things wouldn't have turned out this way. Things are always turning out this way because of me. First my mother was trying to protect me and that killed her. Then Tommy. My poor Tommy. All he ever wanted to do was love me. And I get him killed too. Now you. I get you into this mess . . . "
"Shhhh," he says, holding up a finger to her lips. He allows it to linger there for a second while he's momentarily hypnotized by their beauty. "I told you before. None of this is your fault. You can't go around feeling guilty for things you have no control over."
"Then why do you do it?" she asks abruptly. She doesn't even know what made her say that. But she thinks about it and it actually makes sense. "You go around, trying to right wrongs and trying to fix everything for everybody when your own life is a mess. It's like you feel so guilty about doing those SIM's when you were younger and all of the evil that your ideas were used for that you spend all of your time trying to somehow make it all up to society. You should take your own advice, Jarod. You didn't have any control over what they made you do. Don't feel guilty about it."
"There's one thing I don't get about you, Parker. You know what they did to me when I was little. When we were kids, you used to talk about helping me get out of there. What changed? Why do you want me to go back there?"
His questions stump her. What could she say? How could she answer him? Most importantly, how could she look at herself in the mirror everyday, knowing what she was trying to do? How could she live with herself knowing that one day, Jarod might slip up and she would catch him and have to take him back to that place? So, she decides to be honest.
"I don't know. I'm sorry. That's not much of an answer, but it's the only one I have right now," she admits. And that was true. It was the only answer that she had. Or at least the only answer she was willing to admit to herself. Because if she looked deep down, she could find answers to all of his questions. But they wouldn't be answers she was willing to face at that moment. Jarod, however, wasn't quite as willing to let things go.
"I think you do know, Miss Parker. You have to know. There has to be a reason why you chase after me ever minute of my life, trying to take me back to a place that imprisoned and exploited me for most of my life. There has to be a reason why you hate me so much that you're a willing participant in my torture. Because that's what that place is. Torture. And torture is something nobody deserves to go through."
"You want to know why I chase after you?" she asks incredulously. "You want to know why I want you back there? You want to know why I hate you? Jarod, you've got it all wrong. I'm the one who should be asking why you hate me. Why do you stay away knowing that each day you're out there is another day that I have to be at the Centre? We both grew up at their mercy. So how could you have even left me in a place like that, knowing how they imprisoned and exploited both of us? At least you have your freedom now, Jarod. But what about me? Huh? When do I get my chance to be free? You go around rescuing perfect strangers, but what about me? Were you ever planning to come back for me?" She slides down the wall until she's resting on the floor, drawing her knees up to her chest and burying her face in between. She sits there, rocking herself, her sobs her only comfort.
"I don't know what to say," Jarod stammers. He's utterly amazed at the outpouring of emotion from Miss Parker. Somewhere along the line, their lives have gotten twisted beyond recognition. So many lies. So much deception. So much hurt. How could he begin to fix things? What was there left to fix? He kneels down in front of her and places his good hand on her buried head, gently and soothingly running his fingers through her hair until she's calmed down a bit.
"Look at me, Parker. It sounds like we need to talk."
"What's there to talk about, Jarod?" she asks coldly. "You said yourself that you didn't know what to say."
"Don't shut me out now. Things are finally starting to become clear. I don't know what went on, but we have to straighten things out. Right here and right now. I've made it through the last few years assuming that for some unknown reason, you were chasing me because you hated me. I just figured that you had finally become the daughter your father always wanted. That you were no longer that little girl I knew and loved." He pauses for a minute, catching a surprised look in her eyes after his last declaration. She had let her guard down for only a moment, but it was long enough for him to see straight into her soul. And what he saw there were memories of a pure and innocent love that almost moved him to tears. He quickly looks away to keep his emotions in check.
"What are you trying to say, Jarod?" She quickly regains her composure and pushes aside her momentary attack of nostalgia. "This is all my fault? That I drove you away?"
"I'm not saying that, Parker. What I'm saying is that I left because I thought there was nothing left for me at the Centre. And when I left, I thought the only part of you I was leaving behind was memories of our past. You weren't the same person anymore. A light inside of you had been turned off, and I couldn't turn it back on. I didn't know how to reach you."
"That's because I didn't want you to reach me," she says quietly. "The older we got, Jarod, the more I realized how wrong it was for you to be locked up in there. I tried to be a good friend, though. Since you couldn't go outside, I tried to bring the outside world to you. But every time I started to talk about the beach or school or normal kid stuff, I always felt guilty that you couldn't experience those things. The more I wanted to share with you, the guiltier I felt. Until I couldn't take the guilt anymore. I couldn't stand seeing you. I felt useless."
"Miss Parker, you were a good friend. The best I've ever had. You were the only thing I had to live for. And I didn't care about all that 'outside world' stuff. I was just so happy that you were there. You were my 'fresh air' and 'walks on the beach'. Your face was the star I wished on. The most beautiful sunset I've ever seen was through your eyes. And if I had the chance for a normal childhood, I'd give it all away if it meant I wouldn't have ever known you. Don't you get it, Miss Parker? You are my world. Everything that I know wouldn't be worth anything if I didn't know you. But I left because I thought all of that changed. I thought that you didn't want me around anymore. It kills me now to think that you felt I deserted you. I never would have left you there if I didn't think you wanted me to leave you there. That's what your letter said."
"Letter?" She suddenly looks up, completely shocked. "Jarod, what are you talking about? When did I ever write you a letter?"
"When you left for school. And one more right around the time you came back. The first letter wasn't bad. It just talked about how going away was a change that you really needed. But the last letter pretty much ripped my heart out. You told me how you thought it was pathetic that I sent you all of those letters those years you were gone without a reply. You said that I was the furthest thing from your mind and that I since you'd forgotten about me, I should just do the same."
"You wrote me letters?" she asks, with a new softness in her tone.
"I wrote you a letter almost everyday. While you were gone, they were a little more lenient with me and I was able to go pretty much anywhere in the Centre I wanted. I snuck into the mailroom all the time to mail your letters. Why do you seem so surprised at that?"
"I never got any letters from you. I got a few from my father saying how focused you had become without me around to distract you. But other than that, I had no idea what was going on with you. What happened to the letters, Jarod?"
"I don't know," he sighs. "I saw the letters go out myself. I remembered that I would drop the letters off right around the time they picked up the mail, so I know they left the Centre. But based on your surprise, they never got to you. Your incoming mail must have been monitored."
"Jarod, I'm so sorry. I never knew you wrote the letters. And I never wrote you any letters. I would have never told you any of that in a letter. I couldn't stand seeing you hurt, Jarod. That's why I started to back away from you. That's why I agreed to go away to school. I wouldn't have hurt you like that." She wipes away the fresh tears that have begun to flow.
"Once again, the Centre at work, wreaking havoc on our lives. Listen, don't cry," he says, pulling her into his arms. But she doesn't stop. She can't stop. There were too many unshed tears that have built up over the years. He's soon crying along with her, mourning the loss of the innocent love they once shared.
"Miss Parker. It's time we get this story straight. Once and for all," Jarod says. He lifts her chin up until he can stare directly into her tear-blurred eyes. "For some reason, no matter how hard we try to avoid each other, fate keeps on throwing us in each other's path. Even facing death, we're here together. There's got to be a reason for that."
"I agree," she whispers, trying to keep a check on her emotions. Although she feels she's slowly losing the battle. He's so close that she can feel his warm breath on her face. "So much has gone unsaid for far too long."
"Do you hate me?" Jarod asks shyly and unsurely, not really sure he wanted to know the answer.
"No. I don't hate you, Jarod," she replies. "I never hated you. But I'm really sorry you felt that way. How about you? Do you hate me? I've given you so much reason to hate me."
"I don't hate you. There have been many times that I haven't liked you very much. But I don't hate you." He looks at her and breaths a sigh of relief. "Okay, so we've established that we don't hate each other. That's a starting point."
"But where does that leave us?" she asks impatiently.
"It leaves us with a lot of history to sort through, Miss Parker." He grabs her hand with his good hand and raises it up to his lips, kissing the top of it gently before passing out.
"Jarod!" Miss Parker is alarmed. "Jarod, can you hear me?" She shakes him repeatedly until he finally opens his eyes.
"What happened?" he asks, confused at her anxiety.
"You just passed out, Jarod. You must have lost more blood than we thought."
"I'm okay," he claims. "We still have a lot to talk about."
"Jarod, you need to rest some. We can talk later."
"No, we need to talk now, Miss Parker. I'm not going to waste this chance I've been given."
"Fine. If you insist. I'm all ears," she says. "Talk away, Wonder Boy."
"You know, you're still as beautiful as that first time I ever saw you," he says, lifting his hand up to the side of her face and stroking it gently. He's quiet for awhile as he stares into her deep, blue eyes, getting lost in the wonder. "Do you remember what it was like for us back then? So simple. So easy. I was Jarod. You were Miss Parker. And we were inseparable. The best of friends."
"Of course I remember, Jarod. How could I forget? A girl remembers the first boy she ever kissed," she says with a smile as her mind goes back to the memory.
"Oh yeah, the kiss. That was some kiss, Parker. So sweet and innocent. And I've never forgotten it either. When you kissed me, I remember feeling a warmness all over that I've never felt before. And later that night, I had the sweetest dreams. For the first time I can remember, I had a beautiful dream. But it wasn't like a dream. It was so real. It was the future. And we were there together."
"That does sound beautiful," she sighs. "What was the dream about?"
"I saw two kids playing together," he began. "They looked just like us, but they weren't us because we were watching them. The little girl fell down and skinned her knee. She started to cry. All of a sudden, it was as if the sky opened up. It got really dark and it started to rain. The kids were so afraid. They couldn't do anything but hold on to each other. But then, I saw someone scoop both the children up and kiss them both on the forehead, instantly calming them. The rained stopped and the sky turned into the clearest blue I've ever seen. But as I looked closer, the blue turned out to be the person's eyes. Eyes that were so filled with the power of love that just looking into them cleared away a stormy day and eased all hurts and pains. Eyes that belonged to the little girl that had just kissed me."
He pauses and just stares at her. He stares into the same blue eyes that were becoming warm and soft again. They were beginning to be filled with innocence and love like before and he was having a hard time catching his breath. It was like she was casting a spell that was drawing him in more and more each second. But she makes it easy on him and looks away before he can fall completely into the daze.
"So, that's why you left," she says quietly, looking down at a suddenly interesting stray thread unraveling from the hem of her pants.
"I left because all those visions of the future I had turned out to be ordinary dreams after all," he says sadly. "You were so cold when you came back. You looked at me like you didn't even know me. Something died inside of you. Your eyes were as dead as stones. I didn't see anything when I looked into them. For years I saw your eyes in my dreams. They were the only thing giving me hope and the will to go on. Because I saw our future that day you kissed me. I saw us together forever. I could endure anything as long as I knew we'd be together one day. But when you came back, it was all different. I couldn't stand being in that place another day without any hopes or dreams. It was the only thing keeping me alive. I had to leave."
"You had to leave me," she mutters through her tears. "You couldn't stand what I had become, so you had to leave me."
"No, Parker. That wasn't it. I couldn't leave you. Can't you see that? All of this time I've been out and I'm just barely staying a step ahead of you? You know that I could get away completely if I really wanted to. Disappear without a trace, never to be seen or heard from again. But I couldn't live that way. Not without you in my life. Even if it is as my huntress," he smiles.
"And that's why I never caught you," she admits quietly. "So many times I could see where you were so clearly in my head. Almost like your presences was drawing me to you. But I knew that if I took you back, then I would never see you again. I might see you physically, but who knows what they'd do to your mind. The Jarod I know wouldn't exist anymore if I let my brother have his way with you."
They sit in silence for awhile, each absorbing what the other said. They were both being completely open and honest with each other for the first time since they were kids. There was a lot to adjust to. Getting used to each other's presence and touch again. The silence turns into a comfortable cloak, allowing both of them to rest peacefully in each other's arms. Preparing them for what was still to come.
"Jarod? Are you awake?" Miss Parker gently nudges him with her elbow, causing him to stir a little. She continues to prod him until he wakes up. "Come on, Jarod. You can't sleep for this long. You've lost a lot of blood. You need to stay conscious."
"I'm up," he says groggily. "Talk to me. Say something. Say anything. I need to stay awake."
"Okay. There's something I was always curious about," she starts.
"What's that?"
"Nia. Did you love her?" Her question brings a chilled hush into the room.
"Nia. That's a good question. A question that I've asked myself over and over. Because it wasn't just sex with her. She meant more to me than that. But did I love her? I cared a lot about her. I cared very deeply for her. But did I love her? I really don't know the answer to that question."
"Why can't you answer it?" she prods gently.
"I want to say it's because of where I grew up. I want to say it's because I never got to experience a loving relationship with a woman. Therefore I wouldn't know what love really was and I wouldn't know if I loved her or not. But that would just be a cop out. Because I may not be able to answer the question 'did you love Nia Pedron?', but if someone asked me if I've ever been in love with someone, I could answer that question without any hesitation."
"And what would your answer be?" she asks curiously.
"This," he whispers as he lifts his hand to her face. He gently sweeps the hair from her eyes before pulling her closer and placing a tender kiss on her lips.
"Jarod. I, um . . . " she tries to stutter. But no words come to her mind. Instead, she looks at him. Deep into his eyes. And she's shocked to see the answer to his question written clearly in them. It was a look that he always had in his eyes, but never before had she bothered to notice. Or rather, she didn't want to notice. She never wanted to see that he loved her.
"You love me, Jarod." It was more a statement than a question. She shakes her head in disbelief. "I . . . I . . . I don't really know what to say."
"Oh," he quickly looks away. "You don't have to say anything. But yes. I do love you. I always have. You stole my heart, Parker, that day you kissed me. And you've had it ever since."
"Jarod, don't look away," she begs. "We're almost there. Don't look away now."
"And where is that, Parker?" He turns back to face her. His eyes blazing passionately with fury. Yet the love is still there, and his anger doesn't frighten her. She knows it's just his protective response.
"The truth, Jarod. We're almost to the truth. Lies have ruined our lives and we're finally about to straighten them out. You asked me before how did we end up like this. I didn't know what you were talking about before. But I finally know now. There's something between us. There has always been something between us. And I understand now that you love me. But I didn't know that before. That day I left the Centre, my former life there became a blur. Everything. My father's neglect. My mother's death. And you. Even you, Jarod. All of our happiness seemed more like a hazy dream than reality. But it was a happiness that I know I've felt before. I just didn't have a grasp on it anymore. Your love was just a blur.
"As I got older, I fell into relationship after relationship with man after man trying to spark up that happiness and make it real. But it never worked. Until one day I met Thomas. And we made our own happiness. I know that you can't say if you loved Nia or not, but I loved Thomas. I really loved him. His love was the first real thing I've felt since I left you. But as much as I loved Thomas, it wasn't enough for me to forget you. So I decided to leave Blue Cove. Move away with Thomas. Away from the Centre. Away from you."
"I wish for his sake that you two had gotten away," he whispers. His voice was losing strength, as was the rest of his body. But he was determined to settle things with Parker once and for all, even if it was the last thing he did. "I know you were happy with him. And I know you two loved each other. Even if it comes from another man, your happiness was all that was important to me."
"But how long would I have been happy? Thomas deserved better than me. He loved me more than I could ever love him back. Because he couldn't own my heart. It already belonged to you. Jarod, looking past all of the lies and all of the hurt we've both been through, my life now is more a mess than it's ever been. I don't know what's true or what's been fabricated anymore. But there's one thing I'm sure of. One thing I know to be a truth. That I've loved you for longer than I can remember. Your dreams of us together began the day we met. But when I think of our life, it goes beyond any time that we know. I don't ever remember a time that I didn't love you. No matter what I said to you. No matter what I did to you. Your love was always someplace in my heart." She falls into his arms, tears streaming down her face. But she didn't care anymore. Her heart had been closed off for too long. It was time to open it again. Bring it back to life. Give it back to her love.
They stand there for what seems like an eternity. Holding each other tightly, neither wanting to let go of the other. But Jarod steps back, breaking the seemingly endless embrace. He brings both hands to her face and wipes away her tears. Her eyes pull him into a trance and he gets lost in the deep blue. The deep blue from his dreams that calmed all his fears and eased all his aches. It warms the deathly chill that had begun to settle in his bones and for a moment, he feels as if he's already reached paradise. He soon felt nothing, his pains being erased by the deep blue. He smiled lovingly at her as the blue consumed him, covering him and protecting him so that he didn't even notice the darkness.
"Wake up, Jarod. We're here. We're finally here, just like I promised you." A sweet voice whispers in Jarod's ear, prompting him to open his eyes. It was easier said than done. His eyes felt as if they were bonded shut with super glue. With much effort, he blinks away the sleepiness and looks around at blurred images. He immediately is drawn to two seas of deep blue.
"And where is 'here' . . . . Parker," he manages to mumble.
" 'Here' is the truth. About life. And about love." She smiles through tears of relief. It was touch and go for awhile with him. He had lost so much blood in that warehouse. And they had been in there for so long. It was only a miracle that she was able to get them out. "And now that we're both 'here', we don't ever have to go back to that other place."
"No more lies?" he asks.
"No more lies. Nothing's ever going to tear us apart again, Jarod. They all tried. My father. My brother. Everyone at the Centre. Even death tried to keep us apart. But we won. Truth prevailed. And love."
"I love you," he whispers.
"Then welcome to 'here'. Population: you and me," she says, smiling down on him. "I love you, too." She leans closer to him and covers his lips with gentle kisses.
She wonders how she could have ever forgotten a love like his, but she was glad that he never did. He never gave up on her. He never gave up on their love. Their love was strong enough to wait a lifetime and bring them both from the brink of death. Their love was destined. Meant to be. She couldn't deny that anymore. There was no more doubt as to how they ended up like this. They're together. Forever. Just like they're supposed to be.
