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Written for Emily's Picture Story Challenge.

Prisoner
by Mareen.


"What do you want from me?"

My voice is a harsh whisper, it's hardly there at all. Fear is holding my heart, it's like pressed together. I am a prisoner of it. I have always been, in one way or the other. I can't breath. It's the fear. I've never been good in fighting my fears. People look at me and think I can, but it's a lie. It's always been a lie, like my life is.

"What do you want from me?"

I say it again because it's like she didn't hear me at all.

I am the one with the hands on the wall. I am supposed to keep her prisoner. My hands are on the wall beside her head. Compared to her, I am a giant. She's so small looking, so fragile.

But today, she keeps me prisoner. With her eyes and with demanding an answer to her question.

She looks at me. So much determination. She won't let me escape today. I want to run. But her eyes keep me here. God, how could I let it end like this? It was me who approached her, me who talked first... And kept on talking. Always half truths, always pushing her into finding the answer herself.

Always pushing.

She backed away from me, until she was standing with her back to the wall. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide from the half-truth I told her and I put my hands on both sides of her body, to let her feel even more surrounded by me and by what I told her.

But she asked the question and she demands an answer today and now it's me, me in that cell that's called the Truth and she refuses me escape, just like I always have her.

I don't know what's different today. She has asked me that question before. But this time I just can't get away, like I've always did. Can't just refuse to tell her the real truth. Can't run anymore.

She stares up at me. Keeps on staring. Not saying a word at all. It's my time to talk. Really talk. No half truths. No wriggling out. No meaningful silence. Talking. Real talking.

And that nearly scares me to death.

"Why don't you leave me?"

An easy question. Easy. I know the answer. She probably knows it, too. She just wants to hear me saying it. Why is she doing that to me?

Silence. I don't say anything. My heart is beating that loud I am afraid she can hear it, too. The blood is rushing in my ears.

Why can't I tell her? It's not that unusual, is it? Happens to other people every day.

But there is a difference. Other people aren't on the run from the devil that calls himself "The Centre". Other people do not keep on loosing everyone who means something to them.

Don't you know that? If I'd tell you, you might die or disappear. Happens to everyone who means something to me. Happens every day. Death or disappearance or just me leaving them to keep them alive.

Then so why can't I leave you to keep you alive and secure? Don't know myself. Selfishness maybe. Selfishness. Love is so selfish.

I run away. I leave you without answering your question. To keep you alive.

I hope you hate me now.

It will keep you safe.


End.









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