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Disclaimer; "The Pretender" and it's characters are protected trademark of MTM and NBC.This story is independent fan fiction and no infringement of copy right intended. Many thanks to Danielle for editing, A special thanks to Trisha whose feed back encouraged me to write this.



Not Today
by Ra-Chell





Slowly the DSA slips into the reader and a picture appears on the screen. It shows Lyle pacing before Daddy in his office.

"Your sister's home is hers to do with as she pleases." I can hear Daddy say and the look on his face is firm.

"Yes and look at it. She's turned it into a shrine to Mother and Thomas. If we want to catch Jarod she needs to be focused and she can't be focused if she goes home every night and buries herself in the past."

"But what you suggest..." Daddy starts and is quickly interrupted by Lyle.

"What I'm suggesting is for her own good as well as ours. Don't you see? The Centre...we...need her to be focused if we are to catch Jarod." Lyle stops pacing and stands before Daddy who remains silent.

Then leaning down Lyle lowers his voice and delivers the final blow. "The Triumverate is becoming impatient. Our family's survival in the Centre depends on Jarod's capture. And my sister needs to starting living in the present, not the past if we intend to do that." I can see the look on Daddy's face, the set of his jaw, the clenching of teeth, the way he looks before making a decision. The silence seems surreal as Lyle lets his final words sink in.

And that silence is eventually broken by Daddy's decision. "Very well, do it."

"You've made the right decision. You won't regret this, I promise you." Lyle's smiling face turns towards the camera.

"How do you plan to do it?" Daddy asks in a resigned tone.

"A small fire. It'll look like a accident. No one will ever know."

My hand reaches out and turns the DSA player off as I lean against the wall for support and close my eyes.

"I need a drink." My words spoken out loud echo through the bare apartment. My temporary home thanks to a brother whose 'only concern' is for my welfare. I don't know if I want to laugh or cry.

"That's not good for you." My eyes snap open at the sound of his voice.

"Neither are you." I spit the words back, anger rising up inside.

"You're angry."

"Oh, you are a genius after all, aren't you?" He walks towards me and I can't move. A feeling of despair weighing me down, anchoring me to the spot.

"Just how long did it take you to make that DSA Jarod?" I ask.

"It's not a fake, it's the truth." He leans forward and places his arms on either side of me, bracing himself against the wall. A torment of confused emotions pour over my soul, anger and hate, mixed with comfort and security. Nothing that makes sense, it never does with Jarod.

"I didn't want to have to send it to you but I couldn't keep something like that a secret. You have the right to know who was responsible for the loss of your home." His eyes reflect a depth of sincerity, something I haven't seen in a long time.

"My father? Do you really think he would do that to me?" I shake my head slowly, not wanting to believe him. "You're wrong Jarod."

"How can you trust him?" His voice is low and stirs my doubts.

Suddenly all the angry and hate I feel boil to the surface and I aim it at Jarod. And why not? He's responsible for everything...My mother's death, my job in hell, the loss of Thomas, the loss of my home. Maybe not directly...but indirectly he's responsible for it all.

And he's a safe target to hate. Not my father. Daddy would never hurt me. He's all I have. Everyone else I've ever loved has left me but not Daddy. Thomas, Mom, they're dead and I can't hate them. But Jarod...he's different, he's here and he torments me.

"And why should I trust you?" I spit at him.

He backs away, staring at me as if he can't understand why I don't see things the same as him. After a few awkward moments of silence, he speaks slowly in a disgusted tone. "Maybe...one day you'll see the truth. Not now but one day, when you're ready."

He turns and I watch him leave, not moving or attempting to stop him. I just...let him go.

Closing my eyes I remain pressed against the wall and whisper. "May be someday I'll see things the way you do. But not today Jarod. Not today."


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