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This is a sequel to Reality Check II - Version I, Anne's Storyvisio professional pirata
BREATHE
by Rebeckah
I went to sleep one night; a normal woman in her apartment in the "real" world, and I woke up in a nightmare. I have spent far too many fruitless hours trying to understand what had happened and how and if it was even real or if I am simply having a very long, very real hallucination.
You see, I woke up inside a television program. I haven’t seen much of this world, so I don’t know if there’s a Dr. Mark Sloan running around somewhere, or a Mulder and Scully solving X-Files from their Washington DC basement office, but I know there’s a Centre in Blue Cove, Delaware. I know there’s a man named Jarod here that they kidnapped as a child and exploited for years.
I know he escaped them, several times, and that they seek him still. I know where he is, but I’m certainly not about to tell them. Against my better judgment I’ve gone and fallen in love with the man.
I can hear his peaceful breathing from the bed behind me as I gaze out my window onto the silver and black landscape below. My hands caress my swollen belly, soothing the three fetuses wrestling within my womb. They are his children, created because of the greed of the Centre but loved no less for that reason.
If I could return home tonight I wouldn’t. These infants and their father have grounded me into this reality in a way that no locked doors or basement cells could have ever managed.
But love isn’t enough to soothe my anxiety. Jarod sleeps peacefully now, and I am happy for him, knowing all too well the nightmares that used to plague him. I just wish that I too could sleep peacefully.
Even if I hadn’t been into my 7th month of pregnancy with triplets I’d still be up now, contemplating the stark midnight landscape and contemplating my new life. My nightmares haven’t gone away with my freedom from the Centre. I try not to let them disturb Jarod in his sleep, but they still wake me most nights.
Once again I look over at the man who changed my life in ways that he can’t possibly comprehend, and the words to a song I’d heard in my reality floated through my mind.
BREATHE
‘I can feel the magic floating in the air…’
Yes, the day had been magic. Jarod had returned shortly before dawn from one of his pretends and, as always, my fears had been swept away by the flood of joy in his return. It frightened me to my bones to feel that much happiness simply from being in the presence of another human being. If my life had taught me anything, it was never to get too close to anyone; and yet there I was, tied heart and soul to a man, on the run from a ruthless corporation, and with a hero complex. It was enough to give me a nervous breakdown.
‘Being with you gets me that way.’
Yeah, being with him turned my brain to mush and my well trained instinct for self-preservation to nothing more than an impotent voice in my head. The only other time I had felt this way; felt like my survival was secondary to the happiness of another, had been with my children in my previous life. But with my son and daughter I’d had the power to protect them; at least until I trained them to be cautious too.
Jarod, though, was too well trained to jump into situations that could hurt him. His need for revenge took him out into the world time and time again, and made him taunt the Centre instead of hiding from it the way a prudent person would have. I was terrified that he’d be captured by the Centre, or worse, that he’d lead them to me.
‘As I watch the sunlight dance across your face…’
Okay, it was moonlight, but the sentiment was the same. I loved to watch him, especially when he was asleep and unguarded. His little-boy naiveté and grown-man strength were both easy to see in his sleeping face.
He could still be amazed and enthralled by things that other people took for granted and he was incredibly----earnest. Like a child there were no half measures with him, but his passions were those of an adult. He was such an endearing combination of guileless boy and clever man that I knew I’d never really stood a chance against his appeal. In spite of the cruelty of some of the stings he pulled on the guilty during his pretends, there was an innate goodness to him that drew me like a magnet.
‘I’ve never been this swept away.’
Well, there was no questioning that one. I had never, in either of my lives, felt the same helpless bonding that I did with him. It wasn’t that I couldn’t feel, couldn’t love, but rather that the cautious observer in my head kept those feelings firmly in check. She weighed everyone who entered my life and decided whether or not we could allow ourselves to get close based on one impossible criteria: Could they hurt us?
Of course, everyone was capable of hurting us, so she reserved love for children and animals, who were at least mostly safe. I wondered if it was Jarod’s childlike nature that slipped him past my barriers, or if the Centre had somehow played with my mind during our captivity. I knew that Raines had a fondness for experimental drugs.
‘All my thoughts just seem to settle on the breeze…’
Settle on the breeze? Hah! Blow away on a hurricane was more like it. The doubts, the carefully rehearsed objections to our relationship, every logical thought vanished like a snowball in July when I was with him. I knew that I should leave him, should vanish during one of his journeys and thereby save us both from discovery, but just one thought of his sad brown eyes stopped me before I even started to leave.
Sometimes I felt so torn between my logical, and cautious, mind and my loving heart that I thought I’d rip in half and bleed to death. Sometimes I almost wished I would. I hated this vacillation in my mind and I hated having to make a decision. I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a coward---it’s a trait that has saved me many times. Now, though, my heart had rebelled with a vengeance, and not even my cowardice was enough to save me.
’When I’m lying wrapped up in your arms.’
All he had to do was touch me and all of my arguments vanished. When he held me I felt safer and more loved than I ever had in my life---on either world. If I could have killed that part of me that insisted security is a lie and that giving another person a hold on your heart was dangerous, I would have been blissfully happy. As it was, that part of me was silent when I was in his arms, swept away by the emotions his lightest touch brought out in me. It was later, when he was gone on another crusade and I was alone again, that my insecurities chimed up.
‘The whole world just fades away…’
If only the world was gone, then it would be easy. I’d even settle for the Centre being gone. I just couldn’t seem to shake my terror of that place, Raines, and, most of all, Lyle. I’d recovered from violence once before----well, I learned how to push it to the back of my mind and forget it most of the time, at least, but I couldn’t seem to push away the memories I had of the place.
Unfortunately the only memories the Centre had left me were negative. Jarod assured me, often, that we had some good times during the weeks I’d lost, but I didn’t remember them. I believed him, but it would have been hard not to with the three, rapidly growing proofs of his words turning somersaults in my womb.
‘and the only thing I hear is the beating of your heart.’
I could feel it now, from across the room and not even touching him. It was a good heart, filled with an abundance of love that he wanted to give away. He wanted a family so badly----
‘And that’s why he says he loves you.’ my insecurities insisted.
It didn’t matter how many times I reassured myself that he meant what he said, a large part of me believed that no one as wonderful as Jarod could love someone as damaged as me. Lyle’s attentions were easier for me to accept than Jarod’s open devotion.
BREATHE
by Rebeckah
I went to sleep one night; a normal woman in her apartment in the "real" world, and I woke up in a nightmare. I have spent far too many fruitless hours trying to understand what had happened and how and if it was even real or if I am simply having a very long, very real hallucination.
You see, I woke up inside a television program. I haven’t seen much of this world, so I don’t know if there’s a Dr. Mark Sloan running around somewhere, or a Mulder and Scully solving X-Files from their Washington DC basement office, but I know there’s a Centre in Blue Cove, Delaware. I know there’s a man named Jarod here that they kidnapped as a child and exploited for years.
I know he escaped them, several times, and that they seek him still. I know where he is, but I’m certainly not about to tell them. Against my better judgment I’ve gone and fallen in love with the man.
I can hear his peaceful breathing from the bed behind me as I gaze out my window onto the silver and black landscape below. My hands caress my swollen belly, soothing the three fetuses wrestling within my womb. They are his children, created because of the greed of the Centre but loved no less for that reason.
If I could return home tonight I wouldn’t. These infants and their father have grounded me into this reality in a way that no locked doors or basement cells could have ever managed.
But love isn’t enough to soothe my anxiety. Jarod sleeps peacefully now, and I am happy for him, knowing all too well the nightmares that used to plague him. I just wish that I too could sleep peacefully.
Even if I hadn’t been into my 7th month of pregnancy with triplets I’d still be up now, contemplating the stark midnight landscape and contemplating my new life. My nightmares haven’t gone away with my freedom from the Centre. I try not to let them disturb Jarod in his sleep, but they still wake me most nights.
Once again I look over at the man who changed my life in ways that he can’t possibly comprehend, and the words to a song I’d heard in my reality floated through my mind.
‘I can feel the magic floating in the air…’
Yes, the day had been magic. Jarod had returned shortly before dawn from one of his pretends and, as always, my fears had been swept away by the flood of joy in his return. It frightened me to my bones to feel that much happiness simply from being in the presence of another human being. If my life had taught me anything, it was never to get too close to anyone; and yet there I was, tied heart and soul to a man, on the run from a ruthless corporation, and with a hero complex. It was enough to give me a nervous breakdown.
Yeah, being with him turned my brain to mush and my well trained instinct for self-preservation to nothing more than an impotent voice in my head. The only other time I had felt this way; felt like my survival was secondary to the happiness of another, had been with my children in my previous life. But with my son and daughter I’d had the power to protect them; at least until I trained them to be cautious too.
Jarod, though, was too well trained to jump into situations that could hurt him. His need for revenge took him out into the world time and time again, and made him taunt the Centre instead of hiding from it the way a prudent person would have. I was terrified that he’d be captured by the Centre, or worse, that he’d lead them to me.
Okay, it was moonlight, but the sentiment was the same. I loved to watch him, especially when he was asleep and unguarded. His little-boy naiveté and grown-man strength were both easy to see in his sleeping face.
He could still be amazed and enthralled by things that other people took for granted and he was incredibly----earnest. Like a child there were no half measures with him, but his passions were those of an adult. He was such an endearing combination of guileless boy and clever man that I knew I’d never really stood a chance against his appeal. In spite of the cruelty of some of the stings he pulled on the guilty during his pretends, there was an innate goodness to him that drew me like a magnet.
Well, there was no questioning that one. I had never, in either of my lives, felt the same helpless bonding that I did with him. It wasn’t that I couldn’t feel, couldn’t love, but rather that the cautious observer in my head kept those feelings firmly in check. She weighed everyone who entered my life and decided whether or not we could allow ourselves to get close based on one impossible criteria: Could they hurt us?
Of course, everyone was capable of hurting us, so she reserved love for children and animals, who were at least mostly safe. I wondered if it was Jarod’s childlike nature that slipped him past my barriers, or if the Centre had somehow played with my mind during our captivity. I knew that Raines had a fondness for experimental drugs.
Settle on the breeze? Hah! Blow away on a hurricane was more like it. The doubts, the carefully rehearsed objections to our relationship, every logical thought vanished like a snowball in July when I was with him. I knew that I should leave him, should vanish during one of his journeys and thereby save us both from discovery, but just one thought of his sad brown eyes stopped me before I even started to leave.
Sometimes I felt so torn between my logical, and cautious, mind and my loving heart that I thought I’d rip in half and bleed to death. Sometimes I almost wished I would. I hated this vacillation in my mind and I hated having to make a decision. I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a coward---it’s a trait that has saved me many times. Now, though, my heart had rebelled with a vengeance, and not even my cowardice was enough to save me.
All he had to do was touch me and all of my arguments vanished. When he held me I felt safer and more loved than I ever had in my life---on either world. If I could have killed that part of me that insisted security is a lie and that giving another person a hold on your heart was dangerous, I would have been blissfully happy. As it was, that part of me was silent when I was in his arms, swept away by the emotions his lightest touch brought out in me. It was later, when he was gone on another crusade and I was alone again, that my insecurities chimed up.
If only the world was gone, then it would be easy. I’d even settle for the Centre being gone. I just couldn’t seem to shake my terror of that place, Raines, and, most of all, Lyle. I’d recovered from violence once before----well, I learned how to push it to the back of my mind and forget it most of the time, at least, but I couldn’t seem to push away the memories I had of the place.
Unfortunately the only memories the Centre had left me were negative. Jarod assured me, often, that we had some good times during the weeks I’d lost, but I didn’t remember them. I believed him, but it would have been hard not to with the three, rapidly growing proofs of his words turning somersaults in my womb.
I could feel it now, from across the room and not even touching him. It was a good heart, filled with an abundance of love that he wanted to give away. He wanted a family so badly----
‘And that’s why he says he loves you.’ my insecurities insisted.
It didn’t matter how many times I reassured myself that he meant what he said, a large part of me believed that no one as wonderful as Jarod could love someone as damaged as me. Lyle’s attentions were easier for me to accept than Jarod’s open devotion.
