Episode 888 The Warners at the Center by Jaxie
Summary: What if the Animaniacs visited the Centre?
Categories: During The Series Characters: All the characters
Genres: Comedy
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 5 Completed: No Word count: 2418 Read: 6289 Published: 23/08/05 Updated: 23/08/05

1. Chapter 1 by Jaxie

2. Chapter 2 by Jaxie

3. Chapter 3 by Jaxie

4. Chapter 4 by Jaxie

5. Chapter 5 by Jaxie

Chapter 1 by Jaxie
This story is in response to Laura's crossover challenge (Challenge #240 on the Pretender Challenge list). Just hit me to do this, so hopefully it won't be dumb. Enjoy!

It's time for Animaniacs
And we're zany to the max
So just sit back and relax
You'll laugh 'til you collapse
We're Animaniacs!

Come join the Warner Brothers
And the Warner Sister,
Just for fun we run around the Warner movie lot.
They lock us in the tower whenever we get caught
But we break loose and then vamoose And now you know the plot!

We're Animaniacs!
Dot is cute and Yakko yaks.
Wakko packs away the snacks
We've got wisecracks by the stacks.
We're Animaniacs!

Meet Pinky and the Brain who want to rule the universe.
Goodfeathers flock together; Slappy whacks 'em with her purse.
Buttons chases Mindy, while Rita sings a verse.
The writers flipped; we have no script; why bother to rehearse?

We're Animaniacs!
We have pay-or-play contracts.
We're zany to the max
There's baloney in our slacks.
We're Animanie,
Totally insaney
There’s the wheezing Rainey
Animaniacs! Those are the facts

- - - -

Jarod was walking down a street in Burbank, California, looking at a map. He had just arrived from the airport and was trying to figure out where his apartment was located so he could get started on his latest Pretend, but he wasn’t having much luck. He turned around when he heard a loud commotion, and blinked repeatedly at the sight before him.

He saw three . . . well, he wasn’t sure what to call them, but they looked almost like small, dogs running on their hind legs. The tallest one was wearing just a pair of brown pants with a black belt. The second was wearing just a light blue, over-sized shirt and a red baseball cap on backwards. The third was a girl (at least, Jarod hoped it was a girl), wearing a pink skirt and a flower on her head. And, to top that, they were animated. They looked absolutely terrified as they head head-on into Jarod, the four of them tumbling to the ground.

Jarod shook his head, then slowly sat up. He was a little confused to see stars circling his head. “Ow,” he moaned, rubbing his head.

“Yeah, no joke,” the one with the pants said, rubbing his head. He glanced at the other two. “You guys okay?”

“I can’t take this running anymore,” the one with the cap said with a British accent.

“Running?” Jarod asked, instantly forgetting his pain. He sat up and looked at the three. “Who are you running from?”

“Why don’t they leave us alone?” the girl asked dramatically. She twirled around, instantly changing her attire into a long, black tattered robe. She began sobbing, her voice changing to a cockney accent. “We’re just poor children, really we are. We’ve done nothing wrong, sir. We’re innocent!”

Jarod’s heart went out to them; he knew what is was like to be chased. “Look, maybe I can help you,” he said.

The trio’s expressions instantly cheered up, the girl changing back to her formal attire. “You really can?” they asked at the same time.

“Sure, why not?” Jarod replied.

“Ahh . . . I think they went this way!” a goofy male voice said. The four looked up and saw a fat, police officer appear from around a corner, heading their way. He was running at full speed, carrying a net, and looking very unhappy. The trio looked around for a place to hide.

“There’s no place to hide!” the girl said.

The one with the brown pants sized up Jarod. “Well, almost no place,” he said. Before Jarod could react, the trio jumped inside his leather jacket pockets, startling Jarod just as the officer came running up.

“Uh . . . did you see three warners run dis way?” he asked.

Jarod quickly composed himself. “Uh, yeah.” He pointed down the street. “They went that way.”

“Thank you.” The police office took off running, holding his net. “I’m goings ta get yous!”
Jarod watched him as he ran off and disappeared around another corner. He glanced at his pockets. “Um . . . he’s gone . . .” The trio jumped out of his pockets and started jumping around, cheering. Then they jumped into Jarod’s arms and kissed him on the lips. Jarod quickly dropped them, wiping his mouth and sputtering.

“Thank you so much!” the one with the pants said. “Whoever you are.”

“I’m Jarod,” the Pretender replied.

“I’m Yakko,” the one with the pants said.

“I’m Wakko,” the one with the baseball cap replied.

And I’m CUTE!” the girl replied, batting her eyelashes.

“Actually, she’s Dot,” Yakko added.

“Uh, nice to meet you,” Jarod replied slowly. “So, who are you?”

“We’re the Warner Brothers,” Yakko and Wakko said.

“And the Warner Sister,” Dot added.

“And we owe you a debt of gratitude,” Yakko replied. “Name your price, and we’ll do it.”

“Why was that officer chasing you?” Jarod asked.

“The Warner Studios thinks we’re a menace to society,” Dot answered. “As if.”

“So, they keep up locked in the water tower,” Yakko added. “But it’s all a sham, really. Everyday it’s the same old, same old. We run, they chase. It’s starting to get boring. We need something new to do.”

“Something new to see!” Dot said.

“Something new to eat!” Wakko added.

Jarod cocked his head to the side, thinking. Then he grinned mischievously. “You know, there is something good can do for me, if you want. You see, I’m on the run too, and I was wondering if you would do me a small favor.”

“Just name it, Jarod,” Yakko said. Jarod leaned over, and the four got into a small huddle. They whispered and talked, then the Warners started giggling as they broke up.

“Consider it done,” the trio said gleefully.

(End of Chapter 1)
Chapter 2 by Jaxie
With Broots and Sydney close behind her Parker walked into her office. She was not in a good mood, after having spent all of yesterday in Seattle looking into Jarod’s latest Pretend and coming up empty-handed. All three of them stopped short when they saw the box on Parker’s desk. There was a small note on the top. Parker walked over and grabbed the note.

“‘Have a good time,’” she said. “‘Jarod.’” She sighed. “I really hate it when he does stuff like this.” She opened the top of the box and stumbled back when Yakko, Wakko, and Dot jumped out, landing on the desk. Parker stared in shock, as did Broots. Even Sydney was surprised by the trio’s appearance.

“Hello!” the Warners said cheerfully.

“What the hell are you?” Parker asked.

“We’re the Warner Brothers,” Yakko and Wakko said.

“And the Warner Sister,” Dot added.

“We’re friends of Jarod,” Yakko explained. He and Wakko finally noticed Parker. Their eyes grew to the size of dinner plates and they started drooling.

“Hellooooooooo nurse!” they said.

Dot shrugged, rolling her eyes. “Boys. Go fig.”

“Man, check out these digs,” Yakko said, looking around the office. “They just scream something . . . ” He shrugged. “Aw, heck, they just scream.”

“I’m hungry,” Wakko replied.

“Patience, dear brother,” Yakko said. “First we have fun. Then we eat.”

“You have three seconds to explain yourselves,” Parker said, pointing her gun at them. “Otherwise, you’ll be whistling every time the wind blows.”

“Hey, that’s not a very nice thing to say,” Yakko looked slightly annoyed.

“I hate guns,” Wakko added.

“Tough,” Parker snarled before pulling the trigger. A small, red flag with the word BANG on it popped out of the barrel. She looked at the gun oddly before looking back at Wakko. “What the hell did you do?”

“I prefer anvils,” Wakko continued. Parker looked up, just as an anvil fell right on top of her. “Much better!”

“Come siblings!” Yakko said. “We have work to do!” The Warners started bouncing around, making a mess of the office, before bouncing out of the office. Broots and Sydney just watched, hearing the shouts and commotion from outside.

They turned back to see Parker’s arms flailing from under the anvil. Broots and Sydney both hurried over and lifted the heavy metal object off her. Her body was completely flat, aside from her arms, but she quickly popped back into her usual three dimensional self. Her eyes were crossed and there were stars circling her head.

“Miss Parker, you okay?” Broots asked.

“I’m . . . fine,” Parker said slowly. “What happened?”

“You had an anvil drop on you,” Sydney replied calmly.

“Jarod,” Parker growled. “This is his fault! Get those . . . things back here before they cause any more damage!” Both men left. Parker, still growling, went over and pour herself a glass of scotch. As she drank it, staring at the anvil on the floor, she didn’t even question how she could have survived that. Her only thought was getting those . . . whatever they were and finding Jarod to make him pay.

(End of Chapter 2)
Chapter 3 by Jaxie
Lyle’s head shot up from the papers he was reading when he heard the loud crash outside his office. He immediately got up from his desk and hurried out of the office to the lobby. He wasn’t sure if he was more shocked by the fact that there was an airplane crashed in the lobby or three animated . . . dogs standing next to it, grinning.

“What the hell happened?” he demanded as he walked over to the trio. “Who the hell are you?”

“I’m Yakko.”

“I’m Wakko.”

“And I’m Dot.”

“And your friend, Mr. Cox, was playing a game with us,” Yakko added. “Airplane. He wasn’t very good in the control tower, as you can see.” There was a muffled cry coming from under the plane. “As a result, the plane crashed on top of him. We wanted to change it to the Wizard of Oz, but we couldn’t find a house to compliment the décor.”

“Do you want to play a game with us too?” Dot asked, batting her eyes.

“Oh, let’s play Good Idea, Bad Idea!” Wakko shouted.

“What exactly is that?” Lyle asked, reaching for his gun. He didn’t know what was going on, but he’d shoot first and ask questions later.

“Good idea,” Yakko said. “Having a gun in your pants.”

“Bad idea,” Wakko continued. “Having a school of piranha in your pants.”

Lyle glanced down and saw he wasn’t holding his gun, but a very hungry-looking piranha. A dozen or more jumped out of his pants, snapping at him. Lyle was screaming at the top of his lungs, running down the hall as the piranha chased him, snapping at him.

“Come, siblings,” Yakko said. “We have work to do.” The trio bounced away, leaving a bunch of very shocked sweepers in their wake.

(End of Chapter 3)
Chapter 4 by Jaxie
- - - -

Raines looked up from his desk as his doors opened. He saw the Warners standing there, looking innocent and naïve, and he got to his feet.

“Who are you?” he wheezed as he grabbed his tank and wheeled over, standing over them and glaring down at them.

“We’re the Warner Brothers,” Yakko and Wakko said.

“And the Warner Sister,” Dot added.

“That’s a nice toy you have,” Wakko said, pointing to the tank.

“It is not a toy,” Raines hissed.

“What does this do?” Wakko asked, pulled the clear tube from the tank. Raines immediately started gasping from air.

“Can’t . . . breathe . . .,” the man gasped.

Wakko spun in a circle, dressed in a paramedics outfit. “Stand back,“ he shouted. “Give him some room!” He took a deep breath and blew as hard as he could into the tube. The air traveled through the tube and into Raines’ nose. The man’s head swelled up five times its normal size, his eyes wide and bugging out.

“That, my friend, is definitely an improvement,” Yakko replied. Raines’ head shriveled back to its normal sides, causing Yakko to look disappointed. “Drat.”

“Need . . . air . . .,” Raines continued to wheeze.

Dot sighed and rolled her eyes before reaching into her purse and rummaging around in it. A few moments later she pulled out a tank with wheels, exactly like the one Raines used, complete with air tube. Dot set the tank on the floor, grabbed the tube, and stuck it in Raines’ nose. She stuck the old tank back into her purse. “There you go, baldy,” she replied, a satisfied grin on her face.

“Well, it’s nice -” Raines stopped when he heard his voice. It wasn’t the normal, deep wheeze, but instead it was a high-pitched voice, almost like that of a cartoon chipmunk. He glared at Dot. “What did you do to me?” he squeaked.

“I was out of oxygen tanks,” Dot replied. “Besides, you sound much better with helium.” She waved. “Bye!” She bounced out of the office with her two siblings.

“Get back here!” Raines squeaked as he grabbed the oxygen tank and hurried out after the trio.

(End of Chapter 4)
Chapter 5 by Jaxie
- - - -

Jarod picked up his phone and answered it on the third ring. “Hello, Sydney,” he said.

Sydney chuckled. “How did you know it was me?”

“I figured you’d be calling soon or later when you realized the Warners were my special gift to the Centre. Speaking of which, are they having fun?”

“They’ve wreaked havoc on Lyle, Raines, Miss Parker, and Cox. As of now, they’re calling Parker they’re new ‘special friend.’”

Jarod smiled. “Good. I figure by the time they get done there, you guys will be out of my hair for a while.”

“Is that was this was about, Jarod? Keeping us distracted?”

“You’re the doctor, Syd,” Jarod replied. “You figure it out.” He hung up the phone and reached into his pocket. He pulled out the photograph of his mother and stared at it. After a few moments, there was a knock on his door. Jarod tucked the photograph back into his pocket, took a deep breath, and went to answer the door. He slowly opened the door and smiled, tears filling his eyes, as he looked at the person standing on the other side.

THE END
This story archived at http://www.pretendercentre.com/missingpieces/viewstory.php?sid=3880