Usual fanfic disclaimers apply. TNT owns them - I don't. I'll give them back relatively unharmed once I'm finished. No copyright infringements intended. Please don't sue.

Title – Lost for words
Author – CHris
E-mail address – kylaparker@hotmail.com
Written – June 3, 2004
Spoilers – NONE
Note – English is not my native language, please be kind with me *g*


He had only just come home. He had visited Parker. She had needed his help. Being alone didn't become her. She had looked like she had been ready to kill herself. He was worried. Had it come this far in the Centre? Had Miss Parker had enough of this? Where was the sense in hunting him anyway? They wouldn't get him so why bother to try? He couldn't just surrender because it might save Parker.

There were moments when he had cursed her – and there were the nights he had been awake staring at the ceiling wondering what she might be doing right now. He admitted that his heart belonged to her and that he longed for her – but not all the time. There were moments when he really hated her. And other moments when his heart ached so much for her that all he wished for was being in her arms. But why this difference? Why love her and hate her? Why not simply love her? Why not only hate her? Why hadn't he stayed with her? He had been in her house, had held her in his arms and kissed her. Why hadn't he stayed? He could still smell her sweet perfume, could still taste her lips, could still feel her muscular body in his arms. Why had he let her go? He knew the reasons. He knew that she would hunt him down. Knew that she wouldn't admit to him that she loved him, would never slip one word about her feelings – if she still had something like that.

He prepared himself a drink and sat down on the porch. In the distance he could see the Centre. It had been quite a long time since he had been in Blue Cove. He didn't care though. They wouldn't find him. He had left a few clues that indicated him to be in a complete different direction and he knew that Sydney would cover for him if they were close to finding out. He needed to be near Parker. He needed to know that she was alright. She had seemed so fragile and vulnerable. He had never seen her like that. He had never even thought that she would ever try to do something like that. He wondered what she would do if he called her. Would she thank him? Would she scream at him for intruding into her private rooms? He'd never find out if he didn't try. He took his phone and dialed her number. It wasn't her but Sydney who took the call. He said that she was alright. Jarod wanted to talk to her personally. He wanted to hear her voice, her breath.

Sydney handed her the receiver and got up to leave. She smiled at him thankfully and leaned back into the cushions. She pressed the receiver to her ear. She heard Jarod's breath. She didn't know that his breath had saved her life. She didn't know that he had kissed her and that her scent was still lingering in his nostrils. She didn't dare to speak a word. Jarod didn't know what to say either. He remembered the taste of her lips, the way she had laid on the sofa. He tried to imagine how it would have been to lie beside her. How it would have been to take her in his arms and feel her arms close around him. Her fingers playing with his hair, his fingers caressing her cheeks and more things came to his mind. He heard Parker's sharp intake of breath. What had she been thinking of? The very same thing?

Why wasn't she screaming at him anyway? Normally she would have shouted at him how he could have dared to enter her house and worse things. He longed to be with her more than ever. Tell her how much he wanted her, how much he loved her and that he would do everything for her. He opened his mouth to speak. But where to start? What tell her first?
"Thank you," she whispered and hung up on him – her eyes filled with tears.