Sequel to "Damn 'puter"...
Categories: Spoofs / Parodies Characters:
Jarod, Miss Parker
- by Chris
Disclaimer: NBC, TNT and MTM own them, I am not allowed to, but I use them for my purposes
Title: The Chocolate Test
"What now? What did they mean, game over?"
"Game over means game over. No more playing, no more I love you's and no more doing things we don't want to do. We're free to do what we like. I can't explain it but somehow I like being inside a computer."
"Say that again. You like being at the mercy of someone in front of the computer?"
"Why not? Nobody's hunting me, I'm free to do what I please and I'm not alone."
"I hate being inside this computer. By the way, what are you planning to do now?"
"Searching the hard drive for something interesting. Maybe the computer has an internet connection and we can go surfing."
"That was no joke, I meant it. Are you coming with me or do you want to stay here in the darkness?"
"No, I'm coming with you."
"Afraid of the darkness?"
"NO!! You must be kidding."
"Kidding, me? You are kidding. Maybe we can ask the hard drive where to find something interesting. Parker?
"What are you doing?"
"Don't you remember that the hard drive was called Parker?"
"Of course I do. Do you think I'm stupid?"
"No, of course not, sorry. Computer, search your database for documents."
"893 found, narrow search parameters."
"Miss Parker, anything special you would like to read?"
"I'm hungry. Search for something eatable."
"Great idea. Computer, search for the word chocolate."
"One document found."
"Show me. Whoa, that's fast. Look Parker, someone switched on the lights again."
"How were you supposed to read in the darkness? Read it out aloud. I'm not in the mood for reading something where the letters are as big as myself.
"IF YOU WERE BUYING CANDY AND YOU HAD YOUR CHOICE OF THE FOLLOWING WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
ALMOND JOY with ALMONDS
CHOCOLATE COATED RAISINS.
OK - NOW THAT WE HAVE YOUR CHOICE, THIS IS WHAT RESEARCH SAYS ABOUT YOU!!!
And NO....you can't change your mind once you scroll down....!!!!
So think carefully, what your choice will be!!!"
"So, Miss Parker, what's your choice? I love Hershey's."
"I prefer an Energy bar. So, what does your little test tell about me?"
"Sorry if I'm laughing, but this is too funny. Would you like to hear the others first?"
"I don't care. I think these test are idiotic anyway."
"OK, there you are:
BABY RUTH - Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm fuzzy items. A little nutty. Sometimes you need a little treat like an ice cream cone at the end of the day.
3 MUSKETEERS - You are adventurous, love new ideas, are a champion of underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers flare up, you whip out your saber.
BUTTER FINGERS - Smooth articulate, you are an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time.
SNICKERS - Fun-loving, sassy, humorous. Everyone enjoys being around you. But you are a practical joker-others should be cautious in shaking hands!
ALMOND JOY with ALMONDS-Sexy, always ready to give and receive, very energetic, and really like to get into life. The opposite sex is always attracted to you.
CLARK BAR-You like sports, whether baseball, football, basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but enjoy watching sports. You don't like to give up the remote control.
GOOD'N'PLENTY-You are a very fun loving person, who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. People like to go to the movies with you. Children find you amusing. You are a very warm hearted person.
CHOCOLATE COATED RAISINS-You go to the bathroom often.
"Ok, now that I know what I am NOT, tell me what I am."
"Me first. HERSHEY'S - Romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people and can be counted on in a pinch. You tend to melt and get gushy if held too close."
"Aaaha, like giving me a broad hint what I should think about you?"
"Well, why not? Here's yours: ENERGY BAR-You are very active. You are so active, life is passing you by. Get a life!!!! Go eat a plum.
"WHAT? Go eat a plum???"
*Sorry guys, but I can't stop laughing! This is too funny*
"Oh shut up!! By the way, when did you come back?"
*Just switched on the computer and saw the two of you. In case you're interested in hearing: I'm eating a Hershey's at the very moment*
"NOOOO, you're so unfair! I'm hungry!!!"
*Why don't you try the birthday cake in the folder next to you?*
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.