The story started ok but didn't flow well and is not likely to happen. There were some errors...the worst of those being Miss Parker, Jarod and the othes were out of character. You will want to work to improve the shortcomings. Happy Hols.
Author's Response:
Thank you for your review, even if I have to disagree. I understand that there's room for improvement, this is afterall my first ever fan-fiction piece. That said, I don't see how my story doesn't flow properly (although, the first sentence could breathe a little more but the rest flows fine). I set up the story in a manner that could be interpreted as a strange dream or just a slightly quirky, real-life moment for Miss Parker. I also don't see how any of the characters are out-of-character. I appreciate and welcome constructive criticsim but you haven't left me anything I can work with. The least you could do is provide some details about my story 'shortcomings'.
Reviewer: Miss B Anonymous [Report This]Date: 16/12/13 06:06 pm
Well done Christian! Well written and I enjoyed it very much.
Author's Response:
Thanks, KS. I'm glad you enjoyed my story. If you have any pointers on how I could improve my writing, I'd be open to hearing them. :)
Reviewer: KSPretenderFan Signed [Report This]Date: 16/12/13 03:35 pm
Very nice story Christian, very well written also. Merry Christmas !
Rym
Author's Response:
Cheers, Rym! I hope and pray that you have a blessed Christmas. :)
Reviewer: Airsay Signed [Report This]Date: 16/12/13 12:13 pm
