Title: Chapter 7

Oh, I love how Broots tries to reconcile "the stain" and all of his thoughts and fears and his fate - he's just so Broots haha.

Reviewer: Mirage Signed [Report This]
Date: 24/06/11 09:26 pm
Title: Chapter 6

Oooh yes, yes! It's always a blast when Mr. Cox joins the party and even more fun when that party takes place at the T board. Yay! And oh, Jarod- blue notebook? Oh wow and oooh, nice exchange between Parker and Cox.

Reviewer: Mirage Signed [Report This]
Date: 24/06/11 09:14 pm
Title: Chapter 6

Oooh yes, yes! It's always a blast when Mr. Cox joins the party and even more fun when that party takes place at the T board. Yay! And oh, Jarod- blue notebook? Oh wow and oooh, nice exchange between Parker and Cox.

Reviewer: Mirage Signed [Report This]
Date: 24/06/11 09:14 pm
Title: Chapter 5

Miss Parker as a hissing dragon? Nice! Also, I like the concern that slips from her and I loved the twin's confortation but I am just a little bit afraid for her now.

Reviewer: Mirage Signed [Report This]
Date: 24/06/11 09:05 pm
Title: Chapter 4

Nice. Love Brootsie's ohmygoshohmygosh, haha and it's always good to see Syd getting a little hot under the collar, not to mention a very agitated Miss Parker- very characteristic of her. And Jarod under Lyle's complete control? *shudders* Can't wait to click next.

Reviewer: Mirage Signed [Report This]
Date: 24/06/11 08:55 pm
Title: Chapter 3

Oh my god! Alex? I didn't see that one coming but hmm, very plausible that he would have been found by the Centre, re-educated and that Lyle would try again to "flock" with him, haha.

Reviewer: Mirage Signed [Report This]
Date: 24/06/11 08:48 pm
Title: Chapter 2

Ooh, just like Parker to make the play of having Syd's phone bugged. I love the tension brewing in this chapter!

Reviewer: Mirage Signed [Report This]
Date: 24/06/11 08:41 pm
Title: Chapter 2

Ooh, just like Parker to make the play of having Syd's phone bugged. I love the tension brewing in this chapter!

Reviewer: Mirage Signed [Report This]
Date: 24/06/11 08:41 pm
Title: Chapter 1

Oh, wow, you ladies had me at "Broots" haha. Brootsie, Brootsie! It's so like him to believe the leather only made those sounds when he moved and that it must be some Centre secret. Poor guy. I love him! Also love the description of Parker's pent up adrenaline, very nice detail there. Looking forward to see if Jarod is given refuge. Fantastic writing!

Reviewer: Mirage Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 24/06/11 08:35 pm
Title: Chapter 1

Would be great to bring something like this back again. It's a very well thought out story.

Reviewer: Anonymous Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 19/06/11 04:29 am
Title: Chapter 10

Ingenious on the detachment mechanism of Jarod's when confronted with unwanted stimuli. Dialogue is every bit hilarious between the pretender team and true to character for each.

Reviewer: electricq Anonymous starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: 24/03/10 02:28 am
Title: Chapter 10

Just finished chapter 10, and I'd just like to say that the bit about Jarod's room in his mind and his reprogramming of Lyle's reprogramming is brilliant. My favorite part of the whole story so far.

Also I love Sydney's characterization. 

Reviewer: Haiza Tyri Signed [Report This]
Date: 02/07/09 09:53 pm
Title: Chapter 29

Please go on with this  story, its great!

Reviewer: Anonymous Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 02/06/09 12:02 pm
Title: Chapter 29

Hey, what do you mean "There are no more chapters"? You can't just leave me hanging like this, it's not fair!

Anyway, as you could probably guess from my other reviews: I loved the story and I hope that you'll find the time to finish it one day.

Thanks for sharing!

Reviewer: Cathy Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: 08/09/08 11:41 am
Title: Chapter 28

Poor Broots, he deserves a big hug for what you're making him go through ;)
I would feel sorry for Cox being stuck with child!Jarod, but he brought it all on himself. 

I'm curious to see if Alex's plan works and what he's really up to. Somehow I can't see him cooperate with Emily to actually free Jarod.

So, I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter (although it may be a few days before I have internet access again).



Author's Response:

Alex cooperate? Nah, it might sound a littlebit too good to be true perhaps.

*gives Brootsie that big hug he's been waiting for*

- Manoline 

Reviewer: Cathy Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: 29/08/08 09:28 pm
Title: Chapter 27

See, you're a day late in posting and I'm a day late in reviewing, I'd say we're even now ;)

Great chapter as usual. I liked Cox's thoughts on Lyle and Miss Parker. And Miss Parker's and Lyle's conversation was spot-on.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter! 



Author's Response:

We were even, then I was a day late in posting again. Whoopsie.

Thanks again for another lovely review

- Manoline 

Reviewer: Cathy Signed starstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 25/08/08 01:42 pm
Title: Chapter 26

I'm pretty convinced Emily is related to Miss Parker and not to Jarod. She's so wonderfully snarky.
Poor Broots, though, being stuck in a car with her ;)
Jarod on drugs is simply hilarious.

Also, thanks for clearing up the confusion re. the Jarod/MP bit from the last chapter. Now it makes sense to me ;)

I'm looking forward to Saturday. 



Author's Response:

Well, related is a bit of a stretch...*brain starts to rumble* Ethan....Raines/Parker...ok never mind. But now that you mention it, yeah she does perhaps have a touch of Parker in her (or "post kidnapping don't mess with me" as you could also call it), there wasn't really much to go on in the series as far as her personality went, so I pretty much had free range, which is unusual in fanfic land.

Oh yes, poor poor Broots. Talk about wrong place at the wrong time.

Have to agree when it comes to Jarod, cudos goes to Tinanaz.

Well, it turned out to be Sunday, not Saturday...whoopsie *ducks*, hope you still like.

- Manoline 

Reviewer: Cathy Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: 21/08/08 07:20 pm
Title: Chapter 25

The interaction between Parker and Lyle is great, they are both so in character. Jarod's bouncing is hilarious.

Poor Emily really does seem to be having a bad hair day, though ;) And then to be stuck in a car with a mightly nervous Broots...

There's one thing that I don't understand in this chapter, though: How does the first part from Jarod's POV fit together with the rest of the chapter that starts with MP's POV?



Author's Response:

Hehe, "bad hair day" that's one (very clever I might add) way to put it.

Oh yes, got to love the twin powa, yay Whashaza and KatieQ, and Tinanaz's nutty Jarod too of course.

As for the Jarod/Miss P bit, I believe that would be my fault (supposed to be coding it and all), I was supposed to put it all in italics *cheats by going back and doing so now instead* insinuating that it is a druggy dream sequence and therefore not actually taking place outside of Jarod's head. Sort of like when Alex "woke up" a few chapters back, which I coincidentally also forgot to put in italics now that I think about it (I'm not a very good coder, am I? *smacks own wrist*. ). Thanks for asking so I had a chance to clear everything up. After all what would we be without feedback? Not fanfic writers that's for sure.

Enjoy new chapter

- Manoline 

Reviewer: Cathy Signed starstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 16/08/08 03:29 pm
Title: Chapter 24

Are you sure Emily is related to Jarod and not MP? She's so wonderfully snarky and sarcastic!

 But do I want to know what Cox's idea of fun is?

Anyway, great chapter as always and I'm looking forward to the next. 



Author's Response:

Thank you for your regular reviews. It's always great to hear from you. Next chapter is up.

Whashaza

Reviewer: Cathy Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: 09/08/08 01:17 pm
Title: Chapter 24

Wow you've really outdone yourself Manoline! You almost completely stole the show in this installment with your uncanny knack for writing Broots and Emily... and only almost because Washaza's take on Lyle in the car was so awesome...

And Yay more of Jacci's Mr Cox too!

Can't wait for the next chapter guys, as always, this piece simply cannot disappoint!! 



Author's Response:

hey, thanks jk. Agree that Manoline plays a great Broots and Emily. Thanks for your review. Next chapter is up.

Whashaza

Reviewer: _jk_ Signed [Report This]
Date: 08/08/08 02:49 pm
Title: Chapter 24

Just caught up on this story ~ I can't believe how smoothly all you gals write together ~ it really shows your talent. 

 This story would make such a great pretender movie!

And I love how fast you update!!



Author's Response:

Actually writing in a team is much easier than you might think. I mean, of course it has its challenges but there are many advantages as well. For instance, if you feel like you're writing yourself into a corner with no idea how to get out, one of your coauthors usually snaps you right out of it with a fresh batch of plot twists.

Thanks for a lovely review.

- Manoline 

Reviewer: jeanneb Signed [Report This]
Date: 08/08/08 02:02 am
Title: Chapter 23

You kick butt, Emily! Poor Broots is close to a nervous breakdown, but I loved the description of him. And the exchange between Lyle and MP was great, so in character. Thanks for the update!



Author's Response: Yes poor poor little Brootsie *pets the nervous fellow*. Thanks for another review

- Manoline 

Reviewer: Cathy Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: 05/08/08 11:52 am
Title: Chapter 22

I think Emily and Miss Parker could really get along well were it not for the whole stealing and hunting her brother thing. I'm almost sure Alex is already regretting kidnapping Emily by now ;)

I love Broots and Sdyney in this chapter, especially Broots' thoughts on the sweepers' IQ. 

And obviously Sam took a page or two out of Miss Parker's book of snark :)

The pace is really picking up now and I'm looking forward to the next part.



Author's Response:

Glad you like

- M 

Reviewer: Cathy Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: 02/08/08 09:32 am
Title: Chapter 22

Good chapter, things are picking up a bit. the story remains well put together, I remain impressed by the fact that so many of you wrote it and worked it into one seamless -suspenseful and well written piece.

Nicely done. Cudos to your editor, and to all you writers.

 



Author's Response: Well thank you Nightowl. But just to clarify, we don't have an editor. I mean I suppose since I add the color to the text I do edit the text, but I don't touch the literary content (except for my own, just can't help myself there every once in a while). So with the exception of a few "self edits", this is all exactly how we wrote it about a year ago (reason for the "chapterization" is so it doesn't look so unbelievably huge for me to code in).

- M 

Reviewer: nightowl Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 01/08/08 04:59 pm
Title: Chapter 21

Drugged-up Jarod keeps getting funnier and funnier and Miss Parker is spot-on.

Loved the exchange between Broots and Sydney and Broots' thoughts on Sydney's marksmanship.

But what do you mean you're not going to tell us Alex's secrets? No fair! 



Author's Response:

Thanks Cathy

Telling you Alex' secrets isn't really up to me. Besides he's got one of my characters tied to...well something I am sure, and the other about ready to pee his pants by the mere sight of him. Or maybe the tables are about to turn...hmmm.

- M 

 

 

Reviewer: Cathy Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: 29/07/08 09:12 pm


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