By now only God knows how many times poor Jarod have been caught by the Centre thanks to the fan fics writers ;) Since it is so often done it's big risk that the story turns into a cliché-o-rama. Your story didn't.
Got the feeling that you have given a lot of thought to how the plot will develop and I'm curois of what will happen next.
Like your style of writing and loved the drunk Miss Parker part. Big kudos for the way you wrote Lyle.
In short: great story :)
Thats such a HUGE compliment Muc-thank you so much!!
I was paranoid it would be cliche ridden so it's such an honour to hear that-thank you!
And Lyle just happens to be a bit of a guilty pleasure to write... I just love the complexity of his character!
Thanks again for your review, I'm really glad you've enjoyed the story so far. Hoping to update sometime tomorrow now that exams are over so hopefully you'll enjoy where this goes!Reviewer: Muc Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 13/06/08 11:01 pm
Yaaaaay - more "Ennui"!!
Yikes. Any time Cox is part of the equation, I get the chills. That guy totally creeps me out. Can't wait to find out what's going on!!
Thank you so much Taryn!! And Yay another review!!!
Exams are now over so I'm hoping to update at some stage tomorrow!
And unfortunately for Jarod, there is more Mr Cox to come...
Thanks again!!Reviewer: Taryn Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 13/06/08 09:21 pm
hmmmm, interesting. Good chapter, good flow of words and it reads well. Hope the exams go well and looking forward to more. As for character death - major or minor?
Exams are finally done (yay!) and I'm hoping to update tomorrow.
As for the character death, I'm WAY too much of a novice to pull off anything big... don't want to say too much but it's minor character with what I'm hoping are reasonable consequences...
Thanks for the review!Reviewer: whashaza Signed [Report This]
Date: 13/06/08 03:00 pm
Still enjoying this story very much ~ looking forward to more!
Thanks so much Jeanne B!
5 stars again is quite an honour!
I'm updating as I'm replying so I really hope you'll enjoy the next chapter!Reviewer: Jeanne B Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 08/06/08 03:35 am
I am really enjoying your story so far - just like the series you keep on raising more questions than you answer. Can't wait to read the next chapter.
Thank you Anonymous!
-and just like the series, you remain an enigma lol!
Thanks for the review, your time is most appreciated and I'm updating today so i hope you'll enjoy!Reviewer: Anonymous Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 06/06/08 09:02 pm
Really intriguind, you got me waiting for another chapter! And looking forward! I am really curious what will be from this.
The 5 stars is quite an honour and I'm really pleased that you're enjoying my first attempt at this!
I'm updating today, hope you enjoy this next chapter.Reviewer: Karla Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 06/06/08 07:37 pm
You're doing an incredible job with this! The character 'voices' are spot-on and I'm dying to know what happens next. More, please?!?
It's great to get feedback and Ask politely and ye shall receive! I'm updating today-hope you keep enjoying.Reviewer: Taryn Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 06/06/08 05:08 am
EWW! That "package" would have pissed me off too. But I'm betting it was a setup orchestrated by the Centre. Someone, somewhere knew that Miss Parker's heart wasn't really into Jarod's capture and therefore decided to make sure she wanted him caught and punished. (of course I'm thinking Mr Parker, he did show up at a mighty convenient time). You know, I just realised that instead of critiquing your writing, I've been speculating on the story itself. Sorry, but I honestly haven't been paying attention to the writing itself because I was so engrossed in the story. Your doing a fantastic job <now...can we have another chapter please? LOL>
Wow! I don't know what to say!
Thank you so much for all of your reviews-I'm so appreciative that you've taken the time and to review each chapter is amazing-thanks!
And I've loved the speculation (even more so because I know *at least partially* where this is going ; p) but enough teasing, I'm updating now so I really hope you enjoy this next installment!!Reviewer: TessaD Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 05/06/08 08:46 pm
Your interactions between Miss Parker and Lyle are "spot on" character-wise. I love the snark between the two of them which is one of the main reasons that I loved this show to begin with. I can't say that I'm surprised that Mr Parker is still alive. I've always believed that his "sacrifice" out the door of the plane was complete bs. He simply had 'other' plans for those scrolls.
The interaction between Miss Parker and Jarod has me a litte curious though. There was so much tension and words not spoken that I'm dying to know what lead up to J's capture. Great story....I'm hurrying on to read the next chapter.
Thanks again TessaD!
That was one of my favourite elements to the show too, so I'm chuffed to hear that you've enjoyed my take on their little quarrels! And hopefully all will be revealed in regards to the Jarod/Miss Parker... situation... shortly.
Thanks for the review!
Reviewer: TessaD Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 05/06/08 08:34 pm
I have very limited "extra" time to devote to reading but I try to always make it a point to stop by this site every so often just to see what's new and I'm glad to have found a new writer to enjoy. I'm enjoying this story already. The way you describe Jarod's current state of mind was excellent. It makes sense that he would would be bored out of his mind. He basically does the same thing over and over <saving some stranger and looking for his family/mom> without any kind of steady emotional bond with anyone unless you count the more than slightly destructive relationship he has with Syd and MP. I guess I must be evil because I enjoyed that the Centre team used one of Jarod's weaknesses ie the kid to capture him. Well on to the next chapter....
I'm so glad that you've enjoyed this chapter and so thankful that you've taken the time to review-I really appreciate it! And hopefully you'll enjoy the rest as things start coming together and answers start becoming known...
Thanks for the review!Reviewer: TessaD Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 05/06/08 08:25 pm
They probably had a puppy...
That was brilliantly funny....and something Parker would think. lol
Thanks for a great chapter. A nice long one and well written. I liked it. Looking forward to more.
Thanks again whashazza!
I'm glad you liked that line, it was something I could imagine her thinking given the context...
Thanks again for another great review, I'm about to post the next chapter and with a bit of luck, hopefully you'll like that too!Reviewer: whashaza Signed [Report This]
Date: 05/06/08 09:36 am
Very good. I really liked it and can't wait to see the rest of it. According to your first post this is your first fanfic, i wouldn't have even noticed if you wouldn't have said so yourself. Very well done. ;)
Thanks so much for the compliments (and 5 stars) Maria! Yes this is my first attempt at writing fanfic (of any sort), which is probably the reason I'm so paranoid about getting reviews lol
So thanks heaps for reading and reviewing, I really, really appreciate it!Reviewer: Maria Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 26/05/08 05:24 pm
I really like how this story is developing, and you are a fantastic writer! I like how you take time to talk about small details, like Jarod's high flashback etc, because that is what makes the story real and so true to the show we all love.
I cannot wait for the next chapter. Excellent work :)
Yay it's so nice to hear from you again KatieQ!
...And to have yet another silly-grin inspiring review is almost as great ; )
I've just posted (or am about to post) the next chapter so hopefully it will not disappoint!
Thanks for your time, your two reviews have been awesome muse feeding material!
Reviewer: KatieQ Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 26/05/08 03:26 pm
Hey, great chapter. Even better than the first one. Loved it. You captured the characters well. Looking forward to more.
Thanks again whashaza : ) it's really great to get two reviews from somebody!!
...And here was I, paranoid that everyone would think that I butchered the characters...
Thanks for the reviews. You're awesome!
Reviewer: whashaza Signed [Report This]
Date: 26/05/08 11:00 am
Thanks so much for your time Angelina. Its great to hear that you’re enjoying this!Reviewer: angelina Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 25/05/08 11:12 pm
This was really wonderful! I love the ingenuity of having the kid cuff Jarod, perfect. I really hope you continue this.
Thanks TLM, I’m really glad you liked it! The third chapter will shed a bit more light on why it was the kid (so hopefully I won’t disappoint)… Thank you so much for your review, it’s most appreciated!Reviewer: TLM Signed [Report This]
Date: 25/05/08 04:58 am
I really liked this too. The name caught my attention, so took a look and was very pleasantly surprised. The rythm in the first part was perfectly suited.
It is quite the fresh take on how Jarod got caught and I will most definitely but looking for an update.
Thanks Jacci, it’s really great to get feedback and I’m glad you enjoyed my first attempt at this, it’s been a lot of fun to write. The next few chapters are going to cover a bit more of the back-story to how/why he got caught, so hopefully you’ll keep enjoying! Thanks a bunch!Reviewer: jacci Signed [Report This]
Date: 18/05/08 03:51 pm
You've got me hooked already. Your writing style is terrific..right up there with the best of the fanfic authors.
I loved all the little details. Can't wait for another chapter!
Wow!! Thanks so much JeanneB!!
That’s such a huge compliment; you’ve really made my day!
(Even if I disagree... there are some really truly talented authors out there...!)
But anyway, it’s so amazing to get such a positive review!
Thank you so much for your time, you’ve inspired me to go and write some more!!
I’ll update soon and hopefully you’ll like the next few chapters just as much…
Thanks again, your review really is most appreciated!Reviewer: JeanneB Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 16/05/08 12:02 am
Love it. It's a good start to your first pretender fanfic. Would love to see what happens next. Please post more soon.
Thanks Ann, it’s really great to hear you’re enjoying it!
I was so nervous about writing and posting something of my own, but getting positive reviews makes it all worth it!
I’m hoping to post another chapter or two shortly.
Thanks for the review, and the five stars are quite an honour!Reviewer: Ann Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 15/05/08 08:53 pm
Very good, I like the story, I'm looking forward to read the rest of it!
Thanks for the review Quinn!
Glad to hear you’ve enjoyed this chapter.
I’m hoping to update soon, so hopefully you won’t be disappointed!
Thanks for your time, it really means a lot to hear people are enjoying this.Reviewer: Quinn Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 15/05/08 11:28 am
Good start. Almost missed seeing a new writer and story. hehehe, but I liked it. Don't think you need to give a glossary afterwards. Generally, if I don't understand context or word, I go look it up on google. But then again, I'm the nerdy type too, so others might not. But don't worry bout it, generally people will follow the gist of what you mean. Please continue. Looking forward to see where you'll take this.
It’s funny that you mention it, because I’ve been a long time reader but I’ve always been too scared to write anything of my own…
Anyway, thanks a bunch for the review, I’m most appreciative!
Yay! Another boarder-line obsessive compulsive-I’m a google define: girl myself : ) and I wasn’t really intending to do a glossary each chapter, just hoped to clarify a few references so hopefully it wasn’t too overkill for you (A friend of mine is continually bugging me about the strange references I make so I figured I’d get everyone on the same page from the start)...
Anyway, thanks again for your time whashaza, constructive criticism is always the best kind!! Hoping to post some more soon.Reviewer: whashaza Signed [Report This]
Date: 15/05/08 09:48 am
ooh I am very intrigued! I cannot wait to read more. I loved how you did the minute by minute, but it's just because it's nearly 2:30am and I'm still up, but I loved how all over the place Jarod was. The smiley face bit was great.. such wonderful little details that melted together to make one excellent chapter.
I shall look forward to the next post!
I’ve had my fair share of sleepless nights staring at the clock so hopefully the experience paid off…
This site is great for insomnia though, hey? (Or should I say bad because it encourages it…?)
Thank you so much for your review, I’m hoping to post some more soon, so hopefully you won’t have to wait too long and hopefully you’ll keep enjoying!
Thanks again.Reviewer: KatieQ Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 15/05/08 08:13 am
I really like the way this story starts out and I will be intersted to see where you plan to take it. I especially like how you explained some of the words at the end of the chapter. Well done. I will be waiting for chapter 2.
Thank you for the kind review! I have a German friend (he knows who he is…) who continually grills me for the phrases I use, so I figured I’d explain a bit with this chapter and then hopefully everyone can follow my (sometimes bizarre) references later on.
I’m really glad to hear you liked this chapter. Thanks again for the review Tahnya, I really appreciate it!Reviewer: Tahnya Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 15/05/08 01:06 am
This is really your first fanfic? You're off to a great start. You're style is fresh and engaging. It really feels like a window into Jarod's troubled mind. The best part of this piece was the details you chose to include: Jarod noticing the time every few minutes, thinking that yellow was a "safe" color, recognizing the kind of needle they had. You're off to a great start, and I hope you'll continue.
Well, you asked for "constructive criticism," so here goes: the only thing I would change in this chap would be the part where Lyle pulls a gun on Jarod. It's a little confusing for a minute there--I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be picturing Lyle or a very pissed off Miss Parker.
Overall, excellent chap! I look forward to more.
Thank you so much MP!! I couldn’t have asked for a better first review!
I love constructive criticism (and you’re really quite good at it too!).
To be honest you caught me out with the whole Lyle/Miss Parker thing, originally it was going to be her… but then the story started writing itself and without saying too much hopefully things will clear up in the next few chapters (which cover a bit more back story and hopefully explain that little bit of confusion)…
Anyway, thank you again for your review, your time and criticism are really most appreciated!Reviewer: MP Signed [Report This]
Date: 14/05/08 08:31 pm