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Title: Chapter 1

Great perspective story. The storyteller sounded genuinely like a typical good-guy sweeper would.

Reviewer: electricq Anonymous starstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: 29/09/10 01:52 am
Title: Chapter 1

I thought your English was great!  It flowed very well, and made for an easy and very enjoyable read.  =)  I loved seeing things from a Sweepers POV. 

"Also, there are a lot of rumours floating around. We sweepers talk to each other, therefore we know more than most of the "high and mighty" think we do." <---- I can totally see the Sweepers gossiping!  LOL

 Definately looking forward to reading more of your work after this.



Author's Response:

Thank you, I got great help from my beta so I can't take all the credit for the English. 

I wish I had more work for you to read, suffer from the writer's block from hell. However, kind reviews are a great motivator, so hopefully I'll write some more :)

Reviewer: Danielle SmileyFace Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 26/03/10 06:49 am
Title: Chapter 1

Not bad.  Interesting point of view of a sweeper. It'd be nice to believe that maybe some sweepers felt the same way. Written really well with colloquialism melded in, nice touch. It fits the sweeper attitude.

 



Author's Response: Thank you for your nice words, and for taking the time leaving a review. It is much appreciated :)

Reviewer: electricq Anonymous starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: 08/02/10 11:07 pm
Title: Chapter 1

I love this story :^)

And your English is great, so no worries about that ;^)

I really loved the Gym Guy references... I think we all know someone like that ;^) 



Author's Response:

I'm glad you liked it :)

Thank you for both the nice words and you taking the time to leave a review.

Reviewer: krisrussel Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 24/04/08 11:01 am
Title: Chapter 1

Wonderful story.  Your concept was creative and it's well-written in any language.  Now - tell us the "one sentence" you thought up that prompted writing it.

Author's Response: Glad you liked it :)
I was just wondering what a sweeper would think of Jarod and the first thing I came up with was: he didn’t look like a genius, more like the annoying guy you run into at the gym. That sentence wouldn’t work at all in the story I was working on but I just couldn’t get it out of my head.

Reviewer: Toanga Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 17/04/08 01:23 am
Title: Chapter 1

Great story!  And I loved, loved, LOVED the sweeper POV.  [and the gym guy analogy - LOL].  And I have to say, it made me wonder what would happen if Jarod & this sweeper met again after Jarod was free...   :)

Author's Response: If it that meeting were anything like this story the sweeper would most likely get disappointed and then perhaps trying to shot Jarod. Of course he would miss and then Jarod would, at a safe distance, point out that the bullets trajectory were two degrees off and that the sweeper should lower his aim ;)
Thanks for the review :)

Reviewer: wormie Signed [Report This]
Date: 15/04/08 02:12 am
Title: Chapter 1

Loved it. Good story and loved the POV from a sweeper that guarded Jarod when he was still inside the Centre. I think you did a great job even if English isn't you native language. Hope you do another story.

Author's Response:

Thank you.

I have a great beta, it helps a lot :) 

 

Reviewer: Ann Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 15/04/08 12:36 am
Title: Chapter 1

I liked the different perspective of the story--an unusal pov always makes for interesting look at something. If you hadn't mentioned that English was not your native language I would not have known.

Great job-I know I couldn't have told a story in another language. I have trouble doing it in my own!  It takes courage and you do have the ability to tell an interesting story. Bravo! 



Author's Response: Thanks!

It does feel like fishing for compliments when saying "english isn't my first language". It was however never my intention, it's just that sometimes when I read stories in my language that are written by a non-native author I can tell that there is something different with it. Not necessarily a bad thing but you can't figure out what it is until you find out that it was written by someone not using his or hers native language.

A good story is a good story and a bad story is a bad story regardless of the writer's choice of language :)   (Now I'm really sound like I try to boost myself...sorry)

 

Reviewer: nightowl Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 14/04/08 09:39 pm
Title: Chapter 1

I don't think there are many other stories out there with a sweepers point of view. They are takin for granted. I liked this story very much. I think you did a great job! Very nice. For english not being your first language, it was very well written.

Author's Response: Hehe, sweepers are people too, angry people with ill-fitting suits...but still people. In a way a sweeper is an easy POV, it's an OC and yet very un-OC so you don't have to worry too much about being not canon. And I didn't have to struggle with characterization, big plus ;)

Reviewer: anamchara Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 14/04/08 05:06 pm
Title: Chapter 1

Interesting perspective. Just remember with dialogue to use "". ;-) Otherwise enjoyed this little fic.

Author's Response: Will do from now on :)

Reviewer: whashaza Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 14/04/08 04:35 pm
Title: Chapter 1

I loved the gym guy analogy.. that was hilarious!! Well done :)

Author's Response:

Thank you :)

It was actually this part that wouldn't leave me alone "My first impression of Jarod: well, he didn’t look like a genius. He looked more like the annoying guy you run into at the gym." Just had to get that on into a story. Or more honestly, at first it was one slighty different sentence but I got some help making it flow better.

Reviewer: KatieQ Signed [Report This]
Date: 14/04/08 03:55 pm
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