Well worth the wait. Nice to see Lys back in the story. I wondered what happened to her. Love the last line,
“Let’s get him back Sydney. Whatever it takes.”
It sounds like it's going to get really good in the next chapter.
Author's Response: Lys is here for the long hall! I hope the next chapter does not disappoint! Thanks as always RaChell!
Date: 29/01/07 11:39 pm
I liked your Sydney in this and Miss Parker too. Good to see they taking it a bit easier on poor Lys.
What really worries me though is that line
“Bringing home his genius ass is the only way I can repay him.”
The day Jarod could be grateful for Parker bringing him 'home' is the day we know he is truly broken.
Author's Response: Thanks Jacci!! It won't be easier for Lys for much longer.. hehehe
Date: 29/01/07 05:27 pm
I really like Lys' thoughts as she wakes up, everything is fine as long as she doesn't open her eyes. The way you describes Parker's reasoning for helping Jarod a very plausible one. And as you can imagine I really liked the "flashback", a very good way to explain why he seemingly didn't defy the Centre earlier.
Author's Response: I'm glad you thought that Parker was 'true to her character!".. i rewrote that part more times than i will admit to.. also glad to hear you are enjoying the flashback.. there are more to come!! Thanks for the feedback as always! Reviewer: Manoline Signed [Report This]
Date: 29/01/07 02:57 pm
Well, I'm hooked.
I really like this story so far. You are really good at portraying what is likely for people to say, think, feel and do in pressured situations, while staying completely in character.
And I loved how you explained the reason Jarod "moved", so to say, and how both he and Sydney reacted to that.
*bows at your pwness*
Author's Response: Nice to hear from you as always =). Thanks for the feedback on the characterization, it is the one thing I really do try to keep accurate. I'm also glad you liked the flashback, there will be more to come. Reviewer: Manoline Signed [Report This]
Date: 27/01/07 03:34 am
Nice going! Loved the line"...stir up her emotions like a blended fruit smoothie." Like that very much.
Good start but I'm not ready to call off the Centre sweepers yet! ;) Anything that will prod you to move along a little faster is worth it.
Author's Response: hahaha.. well Chapters 2-5 are in the hands of the beta.. you know where to send Willie. Thanks again for the review, it's always extremely appreciated. Happy waiting =)
Date: 26/01/07 05:04 pm
I am almost scared to read any further. I really like how you have dealt with Parker's turning point. Far too often it is too rushed and completely implausabe, but this was very well done.
And i like the insight into the 'battle for Jarod'. He would never be broken through brute force alone. I hope he hangs on to the bitter end.
Thanks for the comments about Parker. I tried really hard not to make her 'cave' to easily.. and she still hasn't really. Will try to get the next one out ASAP! Thanks for reading :DReviewer: jaccione Signed [Report This]
Date: 26/01/07 12:08 am
you have got to keep going. this is an excellent story and i need more.
don't worry, me and this story are fully dedicated to each other. It's a story that's been brewing in my mind in years, I mean i wrote conflict zero just to be able to write this story! hehehe. I promise you'll be getting a lot more of it soon. Chapters 2-4 are out at the beta's and 5's just about there. Thanks for the feedback, I really appreciate it!Reviewer: mpj Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 25/01/07 09:07 pm
oh, whew! when i read ch 1 last nite, i thought i was going to have to call raines on you for a cliffhanger that big!!!!! i'm already so involved w/ the story, i thought i was going bonkers out of impatience to read more. thanks for posting ch 2!!! i'm reading it tonite. THANK YOU!!! oh, and KEEP IT UP!!! :-p
I'm glad you enjoyed the little teaser i through out there.. allbeit a bit cruel..hehehe. I'll try to keep this coming out ASAP. Happy reading =)
Date: 25/01/07 07:03 pm
Stupid me did not heed warnings about reading first part first, but I will now. This was good and now i need to read the first one.
Author's Response: thanks so much for the review :D. i'm glad you enjoyed.. good luck getting caught up with story 1.. it got a little long.. it ran away from me so to speak.. hehehe
Date: 24/01/07 07:23 pm
Nice start. I hope this is only a taste of things to come. You had betterg et busy or else your readers will have to contract with the Centre and send some sweepers your way for a little 'encouragement' in producing the next chapter. ;)
hahaha.. that was subtle.. thanks for the review, and i promise that chapter one willl be coming very shortly.. it's at the final stages of betaing.. and i may or may not have the the next five already written...*cough*
as Syd would say.. patience ;)i know it was a mean teaser.. nothing more. Reviewer: RaChell Signed [Report This]
Date: 24/01/07 01:43 pm