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Title: Bailey Goes Outside

great work!  nice depiction of Bailey's reaction to outside trip after 4 yrs. of being inside.  wonderful interplay btwn. gracie and jarod. both are strong characters in their own ways, caring more for others than themselves.

this version flows better and shows improved integration, with no parts left hanging.  everything seems clearer and characterizations make more sense so that behavior isn't questioned. i think, too, that you make ambivalent feelings okay this time and it works. yea. 



Author's Response: Thanks topanga, glad you like it. i do know that it is better than the orginal, i had a little trouble with that one lol, hence why i rewrote it with jaccis help. yay on the interplay, its always a good thing when you comment on these things

Reviewer: topanga Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 24/12/07 06:37 pm
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