There's No Business, Like Show Business so Break a Leg! by Apollos Girl aka AG, admin
There’s No Business, Like Show Business so Break a Leg! by Apollos Girl aka AG
Warning: This will give you an extremely interesting twist to things!

Disclaimer: All belongs to NBC and the creators and the producers and yada, yada. You all know who they belong to.

Author’s note: This story was inspired to me by one of Ambrosia’s stories which has yet to be finished! This is really out there! Read and you will find out why! Hope you enjoy!

There’s No Business, Like Show Business so Break a Leg!

Apollo’s Girl
(aka AG)

„Where’s Parker?" Mr. Lyle demanded as he strolled into the SIM lab. Sydney and Broots looked up at the GQ dressed man and shrugged.

„Haven’t seen her since-" Broots started to say but was cut off when Brigitte entered the room, her black hair still making him cringe.

„Where’s your father?" She asked Lyle as she strolled in, her tight black leather pants looking as if they would rip at any moment.

„I don’t know. Have you seen my sister?" He asked, both of the new members of the Parker family looked very perplexed.

„Perhaps the two have gone on a business trip?" Sydney suggested.

„The likelihood of my father and I going on a trip together these days are slim to none." Miss Parker said as she came into the lab. „Closer to none."

„Where were you?" Lyle asked as he eyed her legs, which seemed endless in her short skirt. She shot him a dirty look as she noticed where his eyes were wandering. Sydney tried as best as he could to suppress his chuckle.

„Is that any of your business?" She asked.

„I am your brother." He replied candidly.

„Then stop looking at my legs!" She hissed into his ear as she walked past him over to Sydney and Broots. Broots quickly adverted his eyes, wanting to avoid any reprimands from her.

„Then stop wearing those damn short skirts! I am a guy after all."

„At least when Broots does it, it’s not that noticeable." Broots swallowed hard, ‘Damn it, she did notice it after all.’

„So where were you?"

„I was visiting a friend over the weekend."

„Humph, at this rate we will never catch Jarod." Lyle replied.

„Excuse me." Brigitte said, interrupting the verbal battle between the twins. „But have you seen your father, luv?"

„For the billionth time, do NOT call me ‘luv’!" Miss Parker stated. „And no I have not seen Daddy lately. Plus shouldn’t you be the one who knows where he is all the time? After all you’re the one married to him!" Miss Parker bit out sarcastically.

„Touché!" Brigitte retorted. „I’ll be going now." She said as she walked out of the lab.

„You could be nicer to her, she is after all our step-mother now." Lyle said, teasing his sister.

„Don’t remind me!" Miss Parker replied. She still couldn’t get the wedding out of her mind. That was probably the most horrible day of her life, besides her mother’s death.

„So you don’t know where Dad is?"

„Am I his babysitter?"

„Maybe we should look for Jarod." Sydney said, hoping to stop another argument between the two. The twins looked at each other in contempt and started to question Broots on Jarod’s latest clue. Poor Broots having to be ordered around by two Parkers, both deadly in there own way. Give a little prayer for him.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Brigitte was walking towards her husband’s office when Willie came to her with a package. She opened it up and noticed it was from Jarod. A note was attached to a photograph. She read the note first.

„Brigitte: Do you know where your ‘honey-bunny’ goes on the weekend?"

She looked at the photograph and looked down in shock at what she saw. It was a picture of Mr. Parker coming out of what looked like an apartment complex with another woman. The woman was tall and had her long dark brown hair swept up, hiding her face. The woman’s arm was tucked underneath Mr. Parker’s and he was giving her a kiss on the cheek.

„He can’t be cheating on me!" She murmured underneath her breath. „This is just one of Jarod’s tricks!"

She decided to find out, but first she was going to get someone’s help.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

„My father is cheating on you?" Lyle asked bemused. He never did like the idea of Brigitte marrying his father, but the amount of annoyance it caused in Miss Parker was worth his slight discomfort. After all having your ex-girlfriend as your stepmother was never a good thing, especially when she still wore those pants. ‘What’s with the Parker women in this family and their taste for tight, short and sexy clothes?’ He still couldn’t figure out why he went out with her. ‘Maybe it was the pants.’

„I don’t know if he is or not. I think this may be one of Jarod’s tricks." Brigitte replied. „I don’t see why my honey-bunny would be cheating on me."

„Could you please stop calling my father that, at least while I’m around?" Lyle asked disgusted.


„Well, what?"

„Are you going to help me?" She demanded.

„Find out who the woman is in the photograph?"


„Yeah I will, she looks like a knock-out. Can’t blame Dad for falling for a babe like that." Lyle whistled as he studied the picture.

„Men!" Brigitte huffed, disgusted as she walked out of Lyle’s office. Mr. Lyle smiled at her disappearing figure. He loved to annoy her, although Miss Parker was more fun and better looking.

„Willie." Mr. Lyle called into the intercom. „I need you to come in here now."

„Yes sir?" Willie asked as he came into the office.

„I need you to find out everything you can about the woman in this photograph. No one is to know about this, that includes my sister, Sydney, Broots, Raines and especially my father. Understand?"

„Perfectly!" Willie said as he walked out of the room.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Mr. Parker looked at his watch and sighed with relief. ‘Finally I can leave now.’ Just as he was about to walk out, Brigitte came in through the door.

„Honey-bunny!" She said as she came over to him, giving him a passionate kiss.

„Sweetie!" He replied a smile on his face. „What are you doing here? I thought you would be working tonight?"

„Well I was able to get off and I was hoping that we could just spend the weekend together." Brigitte asked.

„Today’s Thursday, the weekend doesn’t start till Friday."

„I know, but I thought we could get it started earlier. Maybe by starting in your hot tub?"

„I hate to do this, but I have a business meeting to attend to tonight." Mr. Parker said. „Maybe when I get back."

„When will that be?" Brigitte asked.

„Monday morning."

„What? The whole weekend for four days?" Brigitte exclaimed, a hurt expression on her face.

„I’m sorry, but I told you this was going to happen a lot. After all I am Chairman."

„Oh, all right, but you better be home next weekend." Brigitte replied. Mr. Parker just nodded, gave her a kiss and walked out. She watched him walk out and after waiting a few moments she got out her cell phone.

„Lyle he’s leaving now, I’ll meet you in your car." She said into the phone. ‘Tonight I’m going to find out what you are up to.’

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

„What could he possibly be doing in New York City?" Brigitte wondered out loud.

„He said it was a business trip." Lyle replied, concentrating on following his father’s car.

„But why this late at night and in New York City?"

„Maybe it’s an early meeting and he wants to get here so he’ll be rested for tomorrow." Lyle suggested, getting tired of answering these questions.

„Did you find out anything about the woman in the photograph?"

„No. Nothing. I couldn’t even find out where that building was."

„Well I think we just did." Brigitte replied when she saw her husband’s car pull in front of the apartment building. Lyle looked in bemusement.

„Wow, so he is cheating on you. I really didn’t think he had it in him. Oww!" He grimaced at Brigitte who had just hit him on the head with her bag of lollipops.

„Have the decency to have some sympathy for me!" She hissed. „I’m going to kill him!"

„Unless my sister stops you." Lyle commented under his breath as he rubbed his head. Brigitte just sat there and steamed.

„We are going in there right now!"

„Do you think that’s a good idea?" Lyle asked. Brigitte looked at him. „Umm, okay we are going in there right now."

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

After threatening the desk clerk downstairs Brigitte and Mr. Lyle made their way up to the top floor penthouse. They found out that Mr. Parker was going under the name of Patrick James and that he was living with a woman named Miranda, no last name given. The elevator doors opened and they walked out into a spacious marble hallway. They walked up to the double front door and rang the doorbell. After a few minutes of waiting, a tall elderly man opened the door.

„May I help you?" He asked in a very British tone.

„We are here to see Mr. James." Lyle replied.

„He isn’t expecting anyone." The butler replied, ready to close the door on the two.

„Well, we wanted to surprise him." Lyle said as he put his hand out to stop the door from closing. He and Brigitte forced their way into the foyer. They looked around at the lavish furnishings.

„Excuse me!" The butler said trying to get them out.

„We’ll just go tell him that we are here ourselves." Brigitte replied as she made her way into the penthouse, Lyle following. The butler stood speechless for a minute and then followed them, praying that he wouldn’t get fired.

Brigitte made her way to the room that she heard voices coming from. She could hear Mr. Parker laughing along with another woman. She walked into the room, a study and opened her mouth to yell at her husband, but instead stood speechless at a lost for words.

„Dad?" Lyle asked as he came in behind Brigitte.

„Brigitte?" Mr. Parker asked in surprise. „Son?"

„Sir I’m extremely sorry for this intrusion. I tried to stop them, but-"

„It’s alright Martin, let them stay." Mr. Parker replied. „It wasn’t your fault."

Finally regaining her voice, she started to demand answers. „We just got married two months ago and you are already cheating on me?" She asked, eyeing the woman who was sitting in the room. The woman looked at her perplexed.

„Patrick you’re married?" She asked, brushing her dark hair from his face.

„Yes he is, to me!" Brigitte exclaimed. „Miranda."

„I’m sorry darling, I’m not Miranda." The woman replied.

„I am." A voice said, coming from behind them.

Lyle and Brigitte turned around and cried out, „Miss Parker?"

„The one and the only." She replied as she came into the room.

„I’m sorry I’m late Daddy, Rebecca." She replied giving her father a kiss on the cheek and going over towards the other woman. „But I had a couple of things to tend to."

„Can someone please explain to me what the hell is going on?" Lyle asked looking very confused.

„Come in here and sit down, son." Mr. Parker said, gesturing his son and wife to sit down. „Rebecca I would like you to meet my son, Bobby and my wife Brigitte."

„Pleasure to meet you." Rebecca replied.

„Uh, no the pleasures all mine." Lyle replied confused. Brigitte just sat down dumbfounded.

„Rebecca, maybe we should do this some other time." Miss Parker said. „My brother and Brigitte really don’t know much about our lives here."

„Oh, I understand." Rebecca replied. „Patrick congratulations, take care. I’ll see you both tomorrow night."

„Will do and I apologize for this." Mr. Parker replied.

„No need. Goodnight."

After Rebecca left the four Parkers sat in silence.

„Would you care for a drink?" Mr. Parker asked his wife and son.

„What the hell is going on?" Brigitte asked, finally coming out of her silence.

„Well, I guess you could say you sort of stumbled onto the family secret."

„What’s the family secret?" Lyle asked intrigued.

„Not everyone is the way they seem." Miss Parker replied.

„I already knew that." Lyle said. „We work for the Centre."

„Daddy are you sure you want to tell him? After all he really isn’t my brother."

„What are you talking about?" Lyle demanded.

„We know that you switched the blood samples on us. Angelo is my real son." Mr. Parker replied.

„You knew?"

„I’m the Chairman remember?"

„I don’t think we should tell him."

„Well everyone else thinks he’s family and well he’s not that bad of a son."

„Well fine then."

„Will you just tell us?!?" Brigitte demanded. Mr. Parker and Miss Parker looked at each other.

„Are you really sure you want to know?" Miss Parker asked, a bit worriedly.

„Yes!" Lyle and Brigitte exclaimed.

„Well you see Daddy and I may work at the Centre and all but we have some side jobs."


„Umm, Daddy and I are in show business."


„I sing on Broadway and Angel here does that too, but she’s mostly sings and dances at a night club that I own."


„Are you alright sweetheart? You look like you need a drink." Mr. Parker said as he looked at his dumbfounded wife.

„This is what you do on your ‘business trips’?" Brigitte asked.

„Well, yes, that is unless they really are business trips."

„You sing on Broadway?"

„Yes, although not as much anymore, now that I’m older. It was easier to do that stuff when I was younger."

„You were so great Daddy, you and Mom." Miss Parker said to her father.

„Catherine Parker sang?" Lyle asked.

„Yes, but unfortunately things at the Centre didn’t work out that well." Mr. Parker replied. „Angel takes a lot after her mom. She’s the one who brings in all the money."

„Daddy that’s sweet, but you know that most of them come because you own the place."

„Angel, you are too kind. Well would the two of you like to join in on the Parker family tradition? You would have to keep it a secret though."

Brigitte and Lyle looked at each other as if they had walked into the twilight zone. After a few moments of silence passed.

„Well you know I can play the guitar and piano, mostly the keyboard." Lyle responded. „Can’t sing though."

„Well, that’s good, our piano and guitar player just quit. Plus I think the ladies would love to see you."

„But Daddy I thought we were going to get Angelo to play." Miss Parker asked. „And Lyle has only one thumb!"

„Angel, Angelo is still playing the piano so don’t worry."

„And I can still play the guitar with one thumb. You’d really be surprised at what I can do!"

„Well, I guess that’s fine then." Miss Parker relented.

„Hmm, maybe I should tell both of you this first." Mr. Parker said.

„What?" Parker and Lyle asked simultaneously.

„You two really are twins, Angelo is your younger brother."
„Gee wish I knew that before I went through all that trouble of switching blood samples." Lyle muttered.

„Um, hello? Am I the only one who thinks everyone has gone off the wall here?" Brigitte asked. The other turned to look at her. „I guess I am."

„Don’t worry you’ll get use to it!" A man said as he entered the room.


„Hello, son." Mr. Parker replied.

„Hey Dad!" Jarod said giving Mr. Parker a hug.

„Jarod- you’re his son?" Mr. Lyle asked.

„Not by blood no. I’m his son-in-law or soon will be."

„He’s my fiancé." Miss Parker replied as she went over towards Jarod and gave him a quick kiss. „You’re the one who led them here aren’t you?"

„Well, I thought that Brigitte should know, she is after all your step-mother."

„Wait, but I thought you are trying to bring him back." Brigitte asked, extremely confused.

„Well that’s what you think." Mr. Parker replied. „You see Jarod and Miranda have been engaged since they were eighteen. However the Centre wouldn’t allow it so I helped Jarod escape, but to keep my daughter and him safe I acted as if I wanted him back more than anything."

„And you also act like an uncaring father." Miss Parker added, who was now sitting on the couch with Jarod, his arm slung over her shoulder in a loving manner.

„Uh, you’re still not mad at me are you?" Lyle asked, nervous to be in the same room as him.

„Well not really since my brother is still alive." Jarod replied. Lyle shot him a questioning look. „He’s lives close by here doing some stage acting, he goes under the name Jeffrey Donovan."

„We all go by different names." Miss Parker replied. „I also go by the name Andrea Parker when I act and dance, Daddy goes by Harve Presnell, and Jarod goes by Michael T. Weiss. He also wrote a play being performed in California and Daddy was in „The Unsinkable Molly Brown"."

„So you are not going to kill me?" Lyle asked Jarod. Jarod shook his head no. „Then what name should I go by? I always wanted to do some acting too."

„Hmm, what about Jamie Denton?" Jarod suggested.

„Sounds good." Lyle replied. „So I guess that means we will be brothers now."
„Yeah, we will."

„Sweetheart?" Mr. Parker asked going over to his wife.

„You are all crazy!" She said.

„Well not as crazy as you think. You see everyone at the Centre all have part time jobs in show business." Mr. Parker replied.

„They do?" She asked surprised.

„Well, Raines use to do a lot of stuff under the name of Richard Marcus, you'd be surprised at well he dances with his oxygen tank! Sydney did a LOT under the name of Patrick Bachaeu, once he worked with Audrey Hepburn. Broots goes under the name of Jon Gries. Did you know he has a band? He once pretended to be a guy in one of the X-Files and I also think he was in Men in Black."

„The X-Files?"

„Daddy I think you are just going to confuse her more. She doesn’t understand about the world outside of the Centre. She still hasn’t been given that clearance level."

„Stupid of me to forget."

„Security clearance?"

„You need to have a special security clearance level to get a part time job in show business, once you get that you can work in the other jurisdictions outside the Centre."


„You know the other jurisdictions, you can work at the X-Files department at the FBI or work with Sam on the Profiler. There’s also the ER in Chicago, you might like that, the doctors are pretty cute, especially that Doug Ross. You could also work on JAG with Harm and Mac." Miss Parker explained.

„Wait, Harm?" Lyle asked. „You mean that wasn’t a pretend that I was doing?"

„Well it was a pretend, son. Just not the usual kind, we were testing to see if you could make the clearance for show business."

„Oh! Gee that would explain a lot. Might explain why I was working with John Travolta a lot."

Brigitte got up and walked around the room. „Umm, does that mean that now that I know all of this I get that clearance too?"

„Yep." Mr. Parker replied.

„Oh. Who-oomph." Brigitte fainted to the floor.

„I told you Daddy, she would never make it at the Centre!" Miss Parker replied.

„I think she just had to much to drink!" Lyle responded. Jarod just shrugged and helped Mr. Parker with Brigitte, all the while a smile on his face.

„God I love show business!"

The End

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